


Nature's First Green

by Silirt



Category: Clannad
Genre: Ambiguity, Canon Era, Canon Rewrite, Comedy, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fist Fights, Friendship, Gangs, Growing Up, High School, Platonic Relationships, Realistic, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 111
Words: 329,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23920042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silirt/pseuds/Silirt
Summary: Tomoya finds himself in high school with tenuous notions of the people and the world around him, things he could not have possibly known. He has no idea if these are memories from his past or his future, but he tries to use them to his advantage... avoiding the painful feeling he gets whenever the mysterious Furukawa Nagisa is around. Managing school and his relationships, solving problems and helping people, his idyllic life is soon enough contrasted by the increasing threat of a future gone mad.
Kudos: 9





	1. Before The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically a canon rewrite, or at least it will seem that way in the beginning. The purpose here is not to replace the source material, either the vn or the anime, or even to improve upon them, but to honor them. I write this to give others what I wanted, more of the series, more stories, more adventures, more characters, and more of them. I shall answer any questions asked in the comments. I have literally never abandoned a story before, so you have no reason to worry about this one.

It was not that Tomoya wanted to sleep for hours and hours, especially on the weekend. It was just that he had nothing in particular to do, and no particular reason to get out. Facing his father was always a chore, especially after he lost his chance of ever playing basketball again. The two of them had been able to talk about the sport; it was one of the only things they had been able to discuss since the death of his mother. Okazaki Tomoya handled it by playing basketball; Okazaki Naoyuki handled it by drinking himself half to death.

_Why am I thinking about this? I don't like to think about this._

Looking for some sort of distraction, he got out of bed, oddly thankful that he was not hung over himself, though he had no idea what that felt like, or he should have had no idea. Sometimes Sakagami come over to wake him up, and he liked making it a challenge for her, the self-appointed shepherd of delinquents.

"Good morning, Tomoya. What will you do today?" his father asked as soon as he was downstairs.

"I don't know, father," he answered quickly, leaving out the front door rather than having tea. The street was mostly empty, though he did not usually bother himself with checking. It was a humble street, but people always seemed to mind their own business, which he appreciated.

Walking to Sunohara's dorm, where he could usually spend the day laughing and dicking around with a soccer ball, he suddenly found himself glad to have a kindred spirit, in a sense. For some reason, he was kicked out of the soccer club, insisting he was kicked out rather than quitting, though he never asked why Tomoya stopped playing basketball.

"Okazaki!" the other delinquent shouted upon seeing him, dropping a juice box of some sort. "What's going on?"

"I'm just visiting you. I guess that means not much."

Sunohara laughed loudly.

"You can joke all you want. This year is the year we'll make it. We'll have girlfriends, we'll be cool, and we'll never miss a night of sleep!"

Tomoya chuckled softly.

"That doesn't seem likely. I think I could manage the last one." _We're on our last year of high school. The girls aren't going to bother with us when we have no prospects._ Unless his counting was wrong, the boy in front of him was the only student at Hikarizaka with more absences than he. The two of them were popular with girls in a sense, but only because no one assumed the girls had any intentions with them.

He had already accepted his standard of living was not going to rise as an adult; he expected he would be living in some third floor walk-up and sleeping on a futon for the rest of his life, but that was fine with him. Japan was known for having protectionist laws on the incomes of blue-collar workers, meaning he would at least earn a living. Students with greater prospects would likely oppose the regulations as anti-immigrant or harmful to long-term prosperity, but he could not care less about such things.

Sunohara suggested kicking the ball around, which was agreeable. They walked out to a local park, which was closer than the soccer field, which was usually locked. It was not as if they minded hopping fences, but there were only so many balls his friend could survive being kicked in his face. The soccer club had it out for him for some reason, but apparently the rugby team was not above beating him up every so often. It was a wonder Sunohara still had any nerve endings.

The park was near a local bakery, as it turned out, and he knew because of the woman who always wore an apron and a bow in her hair. She waved at him, as she did every so often, but he only waved back to be polite. He thought it was a little weird for her to act like she knew him, but this morning he was getting an even stranger feeling from her. Perhaps he really had spoken to her once before.

"Okazaki!" his friend shouted, warning him of an oncoming soccer ball only moments in advance. _Dammit, Sunohara-_ He ducked, causing the ball to travel over him, crossing the street. "You lost the ball!"

"What are you doing kicking it so hard anyway?" he asked, excusing himself. _I might as well just go get it._ Looking to see where it landed, apparently it knocked the tray the woman from the bakery was carrying from her hands. "Oh, I'm sorry-" he started, crossing the street without looking, narrowly avoiding a passing truck. "I didn't see the ball until-"

"It's fine, Okazaki-" she started, collecting odd lumps of what looked like bread. It was of an ambitious design; it seemed to have been baked on a bed of nori. "The bread wasn't very good in the first place. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to get it to rise properly."

Helping her pick up the bread, he thought to take a bite of one to be polite.

"I'm sure it still tastes okay," he said. The interior was soggier than expected, and he could tell it was not mixed properly. The only flavor was the nori, and the nori was burned. "Wow. You were right," he said, putting the rest of the bread on the tray. "This is inedible."

All of a sudden, the woman's eyes welled up with tears, and she ran off, dropping the tray. He caught it, barely, but an angry man surfaced from the bakery, a familiar look in his eyes. _Don't tell me I know him from somewhere too- he's never waved to me._

"What are you doing making her cry?" he asked. "I'm coming, Sanae!" he shouted, tearing off after his wife and abandoning his question and any answer he might have received. "Your bread is delicious!"

Going into the unlocked door to find a place to leave the tray, he could not think of any time he had heard the woman's name before, though it sounded familiar, just like the family name, Furukawa. There might have been someone in class named that, or there might have been someone who was close to him a long time ago. This was the second time he had felt this way, and he was inclined to notice such things, but also to ignore them.

Outside again with Sunohara, they kicked the ball around, his friend expertly trapping and passing; it was impossible to get it past him except by bouncing it off a tree, which he could only manage under certain circumstances. Being short was usually a disadvantage for soccer players, as was being an idiot, but somehow Sunohara pulled it off, making up for everything with experience and determination. Hearing something from the other end of the park, he went after a ball in that direction. When he got closer, it sounded like a shakedown or a drug exchange. _That might be the Miyazawa gang._

"We should get out of here," Tomoya said to his friend, carrying the ball back. "It's better not to get involved with whatever they're doing."

"No way! Let's go teach them a lesson."

"Why? It doesn't make sense if we don't know what they're doing."

It was not for their physical safety that Tomoya was concerned; generally the gang was not terribly violent and only committed minor crimes. The problem was disciplinary action. Skating on the thinnest of ice as they were, it was easy to get expelled, or worse, arrested for associating with gang members. The nineteen nineties saw an increase in youth participation in gangs, and though it was almost entirely a social mechanism of acting cool, wanting to be like the yakuza was a deathwish for your prospects even if you were bad at it. Students found themselves spending the night in a cell as a nominal punishment to scare them straight, and with the indelible mark it would leave on their records, to say nothing of familial shame, it worked.

Sunohara led them back in the direction of the dormitory, still going on about how he was getting worked up over nothing. Proposing alternatives, like getting on either side of them and kicking the ball back and forth, he insisted that they could at least scare them off. There was a light wind, meaning they would have to kick upwind to maintain control. _How can he be so good at soccer and still be an idiot?_

"Have you been to Furukawa bakery?" he asked.

"Maybe. I don't remember. The name sounds familiar." The blonde boy dug through the mess under his bed, getting out the class roster he swiped from Sakagami the last time she came over to bother him. _Perhaps he was trying to get her to go to someone else's bedside._

"What's your deal with her?" he asked.

"I can get up on my own. I can go to school on my own. I don't need her. I don't like it when she acts like I need her."

"Maybe you shouldn't act like you need her," Tomoya said, lying on his back next to the low table. There was an irredeemable mess under the table, but it had a skirt around it so the student council candidate would not notice.

"There it is," Sunohara announced. "Furukawa Nagisa- I knew I'd heard her name somewhere. She's cute, isn't she?" he asked, holding out the class roster with the attached photos. It was a picture of a smaller girl with chestnut colored hair he might have seen once or twice. He supposed she was cute but could also see how she would be easy to miss. That, however, did not explain the uncertainty he felt from looking at the photo. With such an unpleasant feeling about it, he felt she was someone it would be easier to avoid.

"Do you know anything about her?"

"Are you interested in her?"

"Not really." _She's probably one of those 'good girl' types. She wouldn't be caught dead with a delinquent like-_

_Well, anyway, there's no cause for concern._

"Oh, come on, why else would you ask about her?"

"I asked about the bakery her parents own- well, if they are her parents. I asked about the name." _How can he be so observant and still be an idiot?_

"So it's someone else!" Sunohara accused.

"Maybe it is."

It did not necessarily make sense to conclude that he liked someone else just because he said he had no desire for a total stranger. It did not make sense to conclude he liked her either. Tomoya was starting to suspect his friend was just bored and grasping at straws in the hope of getting an entertaining conversation out of it. _It's better to humor him if that's the case. Even if I told him something, he'll only get some other crazy notion and forget about it._

"Well, who is it?" the blonde boy asked, circling him for some reason. From the way he seemed to be play-acting a detective, he was either particularly bored or proud of himself for discovering a lead.

"It's Sakagami. Don't tell her I said anything."

"Aha! I knew it all along." He sat down again, looking quite pleased with himself. "Okazaki, you're quite the brave man, you know. She used to be a delinquent just like you are now."

"We're both delinquents."

At length it was time to go home, else he would have to spend some of his limited funds on supper, and it was not worth spiting his father. Most days, the man was already drinking around this time, but tomorrow he would have work, making it less likely. Tomoya had an excuse to avoid his father whenever he was drunk, which he appreciated, preferring to have an excuse not to try than a real opportunity. It was a way of looking at things for which Sakagami would scold him, and she already had when it came to school.

The following morning, the short conversation he had with his father was bothering him on the way to school. He had been left with little choice but to explain that he had been kicking a soccer ball with Sunohara, but that did not mean he wanted to join the club. _Was he hoping I would just find a new sport like that? I suppose I don't need two good arms for the game, but that doesn't mean I'd be good at it._

There was a steep hill on the way to school, which he hardly appreciated having to walk every day, so he stared up from the bottom for a moment, cherry blossoms littering the street and the walk. There was a girl there.

"Anpan! Do you like this school? I have to say that I love it very, very much but soon everything changes- well at least it does eventually. Fun things, happy things- they'll all eventually change some day you know… but can you still love this place anyways?"

It was clear she was not talking to him. At the same time, he felt like responding. It was something similar to what he had on his mind.

"I don't know, sometimes I want things to change."

"Oh, hi!" she said, a bit startled. "Who are you?"

"I'm Okazaki. I'm a senior."

"My name is Furukawa Nagisa. I was a- I'm a senior too." All of a sudden he recognized her. _Well, it would be impolite to run off now._ "You probably think I'm weird now."

Tomoya raised a hand to his head, feeling something like a migraine- no, a pain remembered, still as sharp and as clear as it had been that day-

"It's fine…" he started. He felt cold for some reason. He felt cold and entirely alone.

"Are you okay?"

"I… well, I don't want to be any later than I am. Sakagami might get mad at me again. She's always…" he trailed off, his pain following him up to the school. If the girl followed him, she listened to his excuse, which was polite of her. _What is it? What could I be remembering about a girl I've never met?_

Fighting through the warning signs out of frustration, revealed before him was a memory of the girl, her face concealing distress and telling him everything would be fine. _Did something happen to me? Did something happen to her?_

He got to his first class, apologizing for being late. His teacher only seemed disappointed, likely figuring his apology was insincere. It was, after all, the thirtieth time that year, give or take. His thoughts would not leave him alone in class, but for once focusing on what was presented seemed a serviceable distraction from what was already on his mind. Older students used to taunt him for his inattentiveness, saying that Okazaki always had something far better to occupy his mind than English or the natural sciences or whatever else. He did not enjoy the irony that they were not around to be proven wrong.

Tomoya successfully distracted himself with academics the rest of the day, even when they went outside for a break. It was not as if the material was impossible for him; he just normally did better at caring about anything else. He did not value advancing his prospects like it seemed everyone else did, which rendered their taunting futile. Perhaps his immunity to mockery made him passingly interesting to a few of the girls; perhaps it was something else entirely. In either case, it appeared Fujibayashi Kyou wanted something.

"Were you late again today?" she asked.

"I was only a bit late." _I was half-expecting Sakagami to be the one to chew me out about it._ He did not see her sister anywhere.

"Oh, I forgot to mention- Ryou made a new friend, so that's why she isn't following me."

"I wasn't going to ask." It did serve to explain what he had been wondering, though. The two sisters were not entirely inseparable, but it had gotten to a point where he used their personal names rather than the usual, polite, family name since addressing either of them as Fujibayashi would cause them both to respond.

"I should have figured. You're never interested in what other people are doing." If she was trying to taunt him, it was not working. He rarely saw her without some sort of complaint without him or Sunohara- well, her complaints about either usually applied to the other. For the life of him, he had no idea why she wanted anything to do with him, or why else she took it upon herself to be his personal career manager. "And just when I start talking about my sweet Ryou, you actually start working on your math!" she accused, noticing the folder. _This is math? I could have sworn I was trying to memorize the major events of the Tokugawa period._

In either case, he held his folder out of her reach, that she would neither grab it nor see what exactly he was studying. Kyou protected her younger sister rather like a she-wolf, and he could see why it irked her that he would show a sudden interest in academic matters rather than ask about the whereabouts of Ryou. _She might throw the book at me, so it would be better to apologize._ He found himself apologizing to her a lot, but he assumed she could tell he rarely meant it.

"I'm sorry. I'll never study again," he promised, making her pout.

"That trick isn't going to work on me!" she announced. It appeared Sakagami and Kyou's sister noticed them, probably from the shouting. "All you've done is reveal that you would rather talk about Ryou than math, which I knew from the start."

Tomoya made a quizzical expression as the two girls approached from behind. _It did not sound like you knew that from the start. You appeared to be truly insulted on her behalf._ It seemed better not to mention his observation in light of present company.

It appeared, however, that Kyou did not notice the arrivals, her aquiline focus on him alone. Instead, she invited him to tell her exactly what he liked about Ryou, in as much detail as possible. _It's going to be one of those days, then._

"Okay, then- what is it that you find about her that's so interesting?" Kyou demanded. The honor of her sister had been impugned, at least in her imagination, and it would not do to see the wrong un-righted.

"Um, if you'll look behind you-"

"You're not getting out of this that easily." Behind her, Sakagami stared at him, a puzzled Ryou looking on just as quietly. "At least say the part you enjoy the most."

_This whole line of conversation only started because of what she misunderstood._

"All I said was-"

"I heard you. You told me you were more interested in my sister than studying." He could only hope that Ryou would understand that in context, anyone would be interesting. He also hoped it would not hurt her feelings, since she was a sensitive sort. She was not likely to break down crying in front of everyone, but it felt bad. "Do you like her doe eyes? Her extensive knowledge of romantic superstition?"

"You don't have to call it that…" he said, trailing off. The younger Fujibayashi was interested in all sorts of games and tricks girls used to determine their futures, most commonly their future loves. He did not place too much stock in it, but it seemed impolite to call it superstition, even if that was what it was.

"Oh, it's not that, then, is it?" Kyou accused, holding up a book as if she got it from nowhere. "You wouldn't happen to be interested in anything lewd, would you?"

Ryou tried to turn away, but Sakagami held her in place. _Why? Why are you making this worse?_

"I have no intention to do anything lewd," he said, staring off in another direction. "I don't even know where you would get that idea from what-"

"What do you mean you don't know? You're all like that!" _Just throw the book at me and be done with it. Don't put Ryou through any more-_ "There's plenty of reason to be having lewd thoughts about my sister, especially for a delinquent like you. I bet you've already tried to look under her skirt."

Behind her, the younger sister grabbed the hem of the aforementioned skirt, as if to hold it in place from some unseen threat. Sakagami's glare only intensified. _Don't tell me you believe this._

"I have not tried to look under-"

As always, the spine of the book slammed into his head before he could register what had happened. Kyou turned around angrily with her eyes closed.

"Don't go confessing to having succeeded so recklessly-" She opened her eyes.


	2. Saving Private Sunohara

A moment passed as it seemed everyone around processed what was going on. Fortunately, most students tended to ignore Tomoya, but this particular conversation was amusing to some people, it seemed. They were in the courtyard outside the new school building, so they could hear the bell ringing as Kyou started to stammer something in Ryou's direction. As much as he liked the Fujibayashi sisters, he could hardly pass up the opportunity to torment them both at the same time, and the start of the next class would not stop him.

"Don't tell me you've looked under the class president's skirt…" he started, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Of course, I suppose you would have to, in order to have some frame of reference." Other students started laughing at both sisters, even if they had only a passing interest in what was going on. He consciously knew he was doing better than normal, but it was difficult to be proud of tormenting Kyou and Ryou while getting out from the corner in which he had been trapped. For some reason, it felt more like falling into old habits than something he did naturally.

Looking down at his folder as he went back inside, it turned out to be a math folder after all, and he must have misremembered coming out with a history folder. _There must have been some other time when I did something similar. That's to be expected, though, because nothing ever changes at this school._

From time to time he felt like walking off one day and getting a job, but once he started his adult life, there would be no turning back. He could appreciate the lack of bills to pay while it was around, he supposed. Filling out utilities and specifying that his billing address was the same as the service address was even more annoying. _Once they move to online billing, they'll have that checked by default._

Time seemed to stop.

_How would I know that?_

He ignored the teacher calling on him a few times. His memory was duplicating and being rewritten; he could almost feel it as it happened. One or two things that seemed off would hardly have registered with him, but the discrepancies kept mounting and were becoming harder to explain. Doing his best to answer the teacher, it occurred to him that the material was distant in his mind, even though they only covered it the previous week. It felt fresh, and it was easier than he remembered to understand it if he just focused on it.

Class ended eventually, and the possible explanations haunted him. He could have had someone else's memories implanted in his mind, like in a horror movie in which ghosts possessed people and made them relive their long-lost lives. More on the fantasy side, he could have been given the gift of prophecy, and he hoped it was not that, since that rarely turned out to be helpful, but at least it would be better than a ghost. He felt like it was at least a little reasonable to eliminate the possibility of a time machine, since that kind of thing having been invented seemed a little ridiculous, at least within his own lifetime.

All at once it seemed like he was faced with a choice. He could try to avoid it, as he had avoided most choices in the past, but in his experience, whether from a day ago or a thousand years in the future, trying to avoid a choice was still making a choice. It was as if the world waited for him to make a decision. _I shouldn't decide yet. I should wait for more information._

After lunch, which was crowded as always, because it must not have occurred to the school that they could have the classes take turns, he felt like sleeping, deciding he might understand things better after he woke up. The reference room was always a good place for that, since it seemed like no one ever went there. He understood that the new school building had a new library, where all the new books went, and the old books no one wanted to read went to the reference room, in the unlikely event someone needed them. They were still on the card catalogue, after all.

His brief nap was ended when someone closed the door from behind.

"Oh, excuse me-" he started, a bit groggy.

"Oh, no, I like it when people come here. There are never too many. Can I get you something?"

"Tea?" he asked. It never hurt to ask. The unfamiliar female voice would probably take it as a joke or something. To his surprise, a cup was placed in front of him. "Uh… thank you," he said, drinking it. He felt like he should address her, but he did not know her name.

"Did you come here to read?"

"Not really," he answered honestly. "Sorry to bother you."

"I'm not bothered. I like it when people come here. There are so many interesting books."

"Then why does no one come here?" he asked, genuinely confused. "If there were, wouldn't people come here? Or wouldn't they move the interesting books to the library so people could find them?"

"It's the other way around. The library knows what the students need and want, and so it stocks those books. In the reference room, you never know what you'll find."

"You never know what you'll find in a dumpster," he rejoined, still sipping tea. "That was rude."

"It's fine. Let me show you what I mean," the girl offered, setting down her things. He caught sight of the name 'Yukine' on a sheet of paper, but there was no way that was her family name. _Oh, well. She doesn't look like she would be too bothered._ To his surprise, the girl set a large book in front of him.

"What's this?"

"It's a book of magic spells."

"Magic isn't real," he said reflexively. At the same time, he had only just found himself questioning what exactly was real. Instead of being insulted, the girl opened it to a seemingly random page.

"It wouldn't look real if it were. If it looked real, everyone would be interested in it." _Like how everyone would be interested in this library._ Tomoya had a sarcastic sense of humor, he knew, but sometimes it seemed better not to voice everything that was on his mind, even with Sunohara.

"What do you mean?" he asked instead.

"Well, let's try a spell. Then you'll know," Yukine suggested, pointing at a specific line. "Is there anyone with whom you would like to be stuck in a confined space for an hour or so?" He thought about it. _If I picked either of the Fujibayashi sisters, they would lose it over missing class. Then again, everyone except Sunohara would, and there's no way I'm getting stuck with him for that long._

"Sakagami," he said, remembering having lied to his friend about her the previous day. _I might as well maintain the illusion. It might even make him jealous._

"Sakagami Tomoyo?" she asked.

"Yes." _I didn't know she had family members. Well, I don't know her that much at all._ He tuned it out as the girl went over the complex ritual for activating the spell, though hopping on one leg took some concentration.

"It says here that if performed successfully, you can escape by taking off your shirt and shouting-" _Like that'll ever happen._ "Also, if performed successfully… well, never mind."

"What?"

"You're better off not knowing." Tomoya could not think of all the times he had decided he was better off not knowing something they were teaching in class. At the same time, this bothered him.

"Just tell me."

"I'll tell you after. You wouldn't believe me anyway." He obtained some sense that Yukine was used to not being taken too seriously. _Well, she's right. Saying that magic wouldn't seem real doesn't convince me that it is._ He liked to think that it was the spell he did not take seriously, rather than the girl casting it. She seemed nice enough, and to a total stranger. _Why is it that I feel I know her, though?_

Satisfied that magic was most likely not responsible for his memories seeming to conflict with what was actively going on around him, he thanked the reference room attendant and left. He sat in on his next class, but was unable to focus, thinking about getting locked into a room with Sakagami. Only just recently, she had been spotted defeating several delinquents, which riled Sunohara up.

"She's got to be some kind of alien, Okazaki," he theorized as they walked to his dorm.

"Why?"

"Did you see how she defeated that many-"

"She doesn't have superhuman strength, idiot; she's just good at martial arts."

"Well, how do you know? You've never met her."

"I have met her," he said, basically lying. "She used to be a delinquent herself. That's where she learned to fight like that. She gives people the impression she's unbeatable so they don't come after her."

"She just told you all that?" Sunohara asked in disbelief. "How long have you known her?"

"Long enough." As he spoke, he grew more frustrated with what he was able to remember. It seemed to follow no particular law, and it seemed he could not access whatever he wanted. _I'll have to remind myself of everything somehow. Maybe I can get close to a reason why I didn't want to be around the Furukawa girl._

The rugby players were making a row in the dormitory, much to the annoyance of the dorm mother. She shouted that they could look for their targets all they wanted outside but beating up other students was strictly forbidden in the halls. Sunohara was sliding along the walls.

"Okazaki, stand in front of me."

"Why? I thought it was the soccer players who had it out for you."

"They don't need an excuse!" his friend objected quietly.

"What is it?" he asked again. "Do you want me to tell them you have a sister?"

The blonde boy's eyes widened, and his mouth hung open.

" _You're_ not supposed to know that!" he managed at a quiet scream. Tomoya only reached over to one of the doors as if to knock on it, when his friend dragged him away.

"Okay, so I don't have headphones- I just listen to my music the same way they do, out loud. The problem is, they won't give it a chance! Just because they're rap songs from five years ago-" He nodded, having heard enough. "I'm so glad you understand."

"Hey, Sunohara's over here. You'll have to be really nice to him, because he secretly enjoys being beaten up." A burly youth stuck his head out a doorway, staring at the already shaking third year. "I mean, look at the big picture. Didn't you think it was weird that he went out of his way to annoy you with his bad taste in music?" More doors opened, and more heads began to turn at the notion. "He'd have to be the biggest dumbass on the planet to think rap songs last longer than six months." Tomoya sighed. "Part of this is my fault. He asked me what his best chance was of getting your meaty hands all over him and I just said he had to act like an inconsiderate moron, and make himself an easy target. I didn't expect he'd go this far, but that's just how desperate he is."

The blonde boy had said nothing the entire time. All up and down the hall, hairs curled in palpable disgust. _This might be working too well._

"He should have told us he swung that way!" someone shouted. "We wouldn't have wanted to beat him up if we knew he'd enjoy it!" A chorus of agreement rang out. The dorm mother had taken notice of the commotion, but she left with a shrug. Perhaps she realized what was going on and decided it was for the best.

"Well, sure, but you really wouldn't want to beat him up now, would you? Whatever you do, don't hit him with anything phallic." Mouths jerked open to form properly aghast expressions. Perhaps academics was not their strong suit, but they had been in enough literature classes to realize anything could be construed as phallic by one sufficiently motivated. "If you really want to punish him, just leave him alone. You don't know how desperate he was to move into a dorm with a bunch of rugby guys. If you're wise to his tricks, he'll probably be asking me where the baseball team lives."

The disgust was palpable as the doors all up and down the hall slammed shut. Sunohara had his hands on his head, likely unable to believe what was happening. The door nearest them, where he had knocked, however, remained open a moment.

"What is your name?" the young man asked. "You don't live here."

"No, you're right, I just visit from time to time. Call me Okazaki."

"Well, thank you, Okazaki. I think it was decent of you to fix your mistake. My name is Mitsurugi."

"I'm glad you're so understanding, Mitsurugi. It was the least I could do under the circumstances. Perhaps I'll see you on the field." _I have no intention to watch a rugby game._

"My name is spelled with the kanji for three," he said, right as he was about to close the door. He looked around to make sure no one was watching. "My dad wasn't too specific when they were writing my birth certificate."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sunohara asked at length, once they were inside his room.

"Well, I think ordinarily the name would mean 'heavenly sword', like a samurai, but his name means 'three swords', so it was probably a mistake."

"That only means he's three times as dangerous!" the blonde boy insisted. "And never mind that, why did you just tell everyone in the hall-"

"Well, I'm tired of watching them beat you up. Now I want to see rumors spreading."

"I knew it! You're the worst friend in the world."

Lying on his back next to the low table, he wondered what kind of friend he really was. Perhaps it was a mean way of doing it, but he really had intended to help stifle the conflict between the rugby players and Sunohara. Watching him get beaten up really did get old after a while.

"How did you know it would work?" the other boy asked at length, perhaps unable to focus on what he was reading. "Don't tell me you know those guys too."

"It's just what they're like at that age. I figure if they get worked up over stupid stuff like your taste in music, this kind of thing would be worse. I'm not that worried about it; if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work."

"Well, fine." The blonde boy threw himself on his bed. "At some point, though, you're going to run out of explanations for things."

"I really hope so," he said quietly.


	3. Distant Memories

He was late at school the next day, though he had not intended to be. Somehow, he could not predict enough joy in the thought of annoying the Fujibayashi sisters to where being late would be worth it. He met the Furukawa girl on the hill again, and though he hoped she had not been waiting for him, since he did not want to give any impression. He asked her a few basic questions about her, the bakery where she lived with her parents, and school, trying not to appear too interested.

It turned out that she was in his year, but she was a year older, unable to complete the last year because she had been absent for so long. He knew most high schoolers hardly got to know the younger students when they already had friends in their year, so when the friends your age graduated, those were your last friends. _I know I'd have a hard time if I got held back. They would not hold me back, though; they know it would be a waste of time trying to teach me again._

It was good that it seemed he and the girl wanted completely different things out of life. As long as that was the case, they most likely would not be friends. _Do I have that much in common with any of my friends, though? Well, most of them aren't friends, just people willing to talk to me._

At school Kyou was oddly quiet, probably still embarrassed as long as her sister was embarrassed, which would likely be weeks. Ryou thought that holding hands was lewd, if he remembered correctly, and if his memories were even real. It was something he had to consider- thus far the information had been reliable, but what if he misunderstood something? Or what if the course had already changed so much the memories were useless anyway?

"Okazaki." He turned around. It was a teacher. "Your assignment in English is past due." He sighed before continuing. "I know you don't care, but because you've been pretending to care, if you do well on this assignment, I'll pass you."

"Okay," he said reflexively. _I have to find some way of passing this off to Sakagami or someone. Sunohara would probably do even worse._ Walking to the library, as he was in the new school building, he pondered not the assignment about which he had forgotten, but the change in his perspective on school, most likely informed by his dubious new memories. In the end, it was three-fold.

He knew it was easy when he applied some basic diligence.

He remembered less of it, but he felt like he had a more mature perspective, if only by a slight measure.

He was almost certain it would not matter at all.

Most likely, the third observation could explain the total disregard he had for English. He often made mental comments about how he hated the town of Hikarizaka, where it seemed nothing ever changed and nothing ever happened, but if he thought about it, the rest of the world could hardly be better. No matter where he went, he would still have to go to school or go to work, and he would still have no family other than his father. Assuming the fleeting memories- they _felt_ like memories, not like random notions, were accurate, his idea that learning English would not help him in any way most likely meant he would never leave Japan.

 _I have to start making use of these memories, not just to mess with Sunohara. If I can learn about Furukawa from a distance, I might learn why I was supposed to avoid her._ Learning what he had written for his English assignment last time seemed like too much to ask, especially since he doubted he did well on it.

His feet had taken him to the library, where there were usually students reading, making it a mediocre place to sleep, since they would still see him, even if they said nothing at the time. He pulled up a chair next across a girl with a violin case, reading over a book in English.

"Kotomi?" he ventured, quietly. It was not as if it would hurt to ask. He needed help on the assignment, after all. To his surprise, the girl gasped, nearly falling out of her chair.

"You know my name?" she asked. _Damn. I must have been some kind of stranger. I wish I had a list of all the people I only know in my memories._

"I'm sorry, that must be weird to hear like that. My name is Okazaki-"

"-Tomoya," the girl finished, sitting properly again and smiling. _You know my name, but it's a surprise I know yours? I must have been a bad friend- or I have a stalker. That's what I would normally suspect._ "I didn't recognize you until I heard your voice."

"I didn't… well, I had a hard time recognizing you too."

"Well, I should not expect you would know me on sight. We've both changed…" she trailed off. _Did we know each other as children?_ He was unable to remember anything from that far back. Even things from two years ago were mostly gone. _Damn. Why does my memory not work the way it normally does?_

"It's been a long time," he agreed, trying to excuse himself for forgetting. "Do you remember how it all started?"

Kotomi chuckled.

"It's a little weird, discussing things like we're already old friends again," she said. "To be honest, I couldn't tell you when you started coming to my house."

"Do you live close to me?" He tried to think of any neighborhoods with actual houses around, but it had been a while since- _That's right… before my mother died, we lived in a house._

"I don't know if we still live in the same neighborhood," the girl decided. "Sorry-" she said, looking behind him. Tomoya looked back, seeing Sakagami. "I'll get it done pretty soon," she said, looking apologetic. The other girl seemed to take the response for what it was and walked off.

"What was that?"

"Well, she's been dealing with a gang- or maybe it's two gangs. She can't afford to be seen starting a fight on campus, but if they keep coming here… basically, she needs to know about them. I felt bad and volunteered, but it seemed like she only asked me because she didn't know who might be able to help her.

"I know something about gangs," he said, surprising himself. "I know a little about the Miyazawa gang. I know this park where they go on the weekends."

"Miyazawa gang?" Kotomi asked. "I did not think any gang called itself that. They usually have tough names, like the White Dragons, who were pretty famous in the late seventies."

"They probably don't call themselves that. I'll be honest, I heard the term… from someone who isn't a member," he guessed. "The only reason I can think of that someone would call them that is because of the leader… but I've never met him."

There was a pause.

"I want to catch up with you," the girl said at length. "There's also, well, there's also things that we could discuss that would help me out with Sakagami." It was odd, but the way she said it, Tomoya knew they were not friends. Perhaps they only knew each other in class.

"Well, I think we should meet after school." _This girl is my opposite. She probably can't even think of leaving before the last bell rings._

So it was agreed.

Classes were uninteresting, but he went anyway. At some point it felt like he was better off going unless he had something specific he would rather be doing. Sunohara showed up right before lunch.

"Hi, Okazaki!" he said, oddly cheerful for some reason.

"Did you not get beaten up this morning?"

"Nope! I also didn't get dragged out of bed by the dorm mother." From any other mouth, it would seem odd that such a thing was being used as a point of pride, but his friend was someone who had no pride, so it made sense. "Have you seen that girl today? I know you like her, so I'm sorry, but I'll have to beat her in a contest of strength."

"You're still on about that?"

"Of course I am! Ever since you told me she wasn't really that strong, just good at fighting, I've been training my grip strength."

"You train your grip strength all the time."

"I was doing it a lot more than usual," Sunohara clarified, still proud of it, somehow. "Anyway, the point is to clear up some false notions. A girl could never beat me in terms of physical fitness." Tomoya sighed. _Even if he won, what would that prove? That generally, guys are tougher and stronger? Everyone knows that._ Thinking about it seriously, his friend had a tiny bit of a point. No one cared if someone was trying to prove generally accepted facts, but everyone would come out to see if something commonly believed was about to be proven false. _Whatever. I'll let him have a shot at it._

More importantly, it would be fun watching him lose.

Because of the blonde boy's small frame and less than violent disposition, it would hardly prove anything if Sakagami beat him, but he would not realize this. Unless it ended for real, or she admitted some dude was stronger than she was, he would probably keep trying different tactics. Sunohara's only respectable trait was the fact that he had absolutely no idea of when to quit. If his dubious new memories had any truth to them, he hated people who gave up too easily, and allowed something external to be at fault for their failures.

In a way, he supposed, Sunohara had a lot more pride than most anyone else.

Following his friend to the hall where he expected to find Sakagami, it appeared they had enough time to settle things before class. The girl had an annoyed expression, and Tomoya remembered he had forgotten to mention he had seen her that day. _Now she's going to think this was my idea._

"Hey, Sunohara thinks he's tougher than you," he said, getting it out there. He had some idea that if he left it up to the other boy, the conversation would go on for several minutes of pointless posturing. "Sorry for the inconvenience."

"It's alright. I just don't want to get a reputation for starting fights around here. As long as people see him start it, I suppose I can fight him."

"A fight? Ha! I'm not a violent sort, and I'm not someone who would try to corner the discussion into my own skillset. I was thinking of an arm-wrestling match!"

"Isn't that what you're doing, though?" Tomoya asked. "You're only challenging her to one of those because you don't think you have a chance of winning in a fight."

"That's what we were discussing earlier!" he objected.

"Sakagami wasn't around. I think it's natural for her to assume people want to fight her. Well, provided whoever challenges her to a fight is a dumbass."

"Fine!" Sunohara shouted. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!" He jumped suddenly, as if hoping to get a hit in by surprising her, but she sidestepped his kick and responded with one of her own, knocking him out in a single blow.

"Oh…" she started, seeing that she knocked him out. "I didn't mean to do that… now he won't be awake in class."

"That wasn't an issue this morning," Tomoya said. "Don't worry about him; I'll get him out of here." He was aware that people were watching as he half-dragged the blonde boy down the hall. He knew little about Sakagami, but she certainly did not deserve to have to clean up after a fight she did not start. It was also hardly her fault if her opponent was an easy knockout.

The rest of the day was easy enough; he did most of his work and stayed awake in class. The last thing he wanted was another surprise assignment. Ryou kept glancing in his direction for some reason, but he did not reciprocate. The thing he wanted after another surprise assignment was drawing Kyou's ire, and making it look like he was interested in her sister would be the fastest way by leaps and bounds. He found Kotomi at the school's entrance, talking with Furukawa. _Damn. I'd better wait for her to leave._

He had not considered what would happen if the girl got close to a friend of his. It seemed unreasonable to expect his friends to avoid her just based on some weird feeling he had, and he did not have it in him to say goodbye to them if they decided to hang out with her a lot. At the very least, it would give her a few more friends, and he was under the impression she did not have a lot of them. With more friends, she would have less of a reason to talk to him.

At length she left, going in a different direction than the one in which Kotomi started walking, and he caught up with her.

"Oh, I was thinking you had forgotten," she commented as she saw him approach. He considered his response carefully.

"That's fair. I come to school late most days." For some reason it felt easy to talk with her, though he had no idea which set of tenuous memories was informing his feelings. "I wouldn't forget something like this, though." Nothing was said for a moment. The pair of them walked silently.

"I really can't tell you how glad I am that you remember me," Kotomi said softly, looking around for a moment. "You were my first friend. When I didn't hear from you for a while after I moved in with my foster parents, I went to go look for your house in my old neighborhood. It was… well, it was a bit of a painful experience… and then I heard you moved away as well."

Tomoya wanted to be honest with her. She was being so honest with him, and he could tell it was not easy for her. _I'll just tell her part of it. She doesn't want to hear my whole life story._

"Well, my mother died… so we moved away." He tried to say it without looking at her.

"You and your father must have felt like the house was too big for you without her around, then," she surmised. "That happens. Downsizing makes sense economically, and you didn't expect the family to get any bigger… sorry."

"What?"

"Well, that might have been a bit insensitive."

"It's fine. I've basically gotten over losing my mother. I just woke up one day and I realized that it didn't hurt anymore." He decided to change the subject. "How are your adoptive parents?" he asked. They were walking into a neighborhood.

"They're fine," Kotomi said at length. "I just… well, when I was a little girl I told them I didn't need new parents. It was a mean thing to say to people who were taking care of me, but there was no one who could really replace my mother and father. I never wanted replacements. I thought that if they weren't with me, then I might as well live on my own."

Tomoya found it hard to respond. Objectively, his father was taking care of him, going to work every day and leaving enough money lying around that he could buy food. Technically, he should be grateful, but it felt like he was only doing what he was obliged to do, that fathers should not get credit for hitting the bare minimum. It was something he felt he deserved to take for granted, even if he knew some people did not have it. He definitely felt like being raised by her foster parents would have been better, since at least they would not have gotten violent with him.

"They don't drink or do anything mean to you?" he asked. Somehow it felt like he should set her expectations. He had to be sure he could envy her.

"Oh, no, they're fine. I don't have any complaints with them as people."

They continued walking in silence until they reached her house. He might have given away too much about his own home environment, but he had no sense from her that she made the connection at all. Academically, there was no comparison between them; she had to know ten times more about everything, but it still felt like he was running circles around her. He felt like he was talking to a child. _It must be the way I'm looking at things. I knew her when we were children, and that must be why I'm still seeing her that way._

"Would you like some tea?" she asked. "I was right about to make some myself."

"Thank you," he said. "I've… actually got a bit of work to do."

"That's fine. I usually leave a few things for this hour, so I can have more time at school to read in the library- well, that and practice."

"You like to practice the violin?" he asked as she came back, the tea on the hotplate.

"It's only a hobby. I do my best, but I'm not very good."

"Really? I'll bet you're great. You can do anything if you try hard enough-" _And you've got ten times the work ethic that I do- no, you have ten times a normal person's work ethic._

"Oh, well, if you insist," she said, opening the case. It was a beautifully constructed instrument. It had to be at least in the hundreds of thousands of yen. She assumed a natural, yet refined pose and put the bow to the strings.

The sound that came out violated his eardrums with a cacophony of the most bizarre squeaking, creaking, and groaning all at once. Tomoya clapped his hands to his ears as the punishment continued. Seconds were like days. When at last Kotomi withdrew the bowstring, she asked him some question that he did not quite understand, his ears still ringing with the last few notes, if they could be called that.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I was only asking what you thought of it."

"Well, you'll need to keep practicing a lot," he said, not wanting to go back on his earlier statement that she could be good if she tried. The girl raised the bow again. "-but not right now. I wouldn't be able to focus."

"What are you doing?" she asked as he got out his folder.

"It's an assignment for English. We had to read this book and write a paper on it."

"What book did your class read?" she asked. _It's like she already knows I didn't read it. No, she doesn't know that much._

"We were supposed to be reading _The Outsiders._ I didn't really like it that much. I couldn't get into it."

"Really? That's one of my favorite books," Kotomi said. "What's your thesis for the paper?"

"It's more open-ended than that. Well, it's more accurate to say that I don't have an idea of what I'm going to write yet. I really don't think I understood the book that well."

"Well, everyone starts out that way. When is it due?" she asked. "If you like, I could tell you about the book."

"That would be helpful," he said, glad for a chance to avoid the first question. "Another thing is that we have to write the whole thing in English, and I'm no good at that. The language is so confusing."

"Well, that's probably why you didn't like the book," the girl with the violin said, putting it back in its case after adjusting the strings. "I wouldn't like any book I didn't understand. There's also a lot of differences in the culture, so it might be harder to understand the setting, the characters, and the kind of message that Hinton was trying to convey about youth and society." _Why did they pick such a hard book, then?_

Kotomi decided it would be more helpful to start with the English language, so they talked for a few hours about that specifically. It turned out to be one of those languages you could speak poorly in a week, and not master in ten years. By making them learn all of the rules inside and out and insisting on perfection from the very beginning, their teachers were actually making it harder than it needed to be, at least in her opinion. Her parents had been all around the world, and they said no language could really be learned except by immersion, and wherever you went it would be fine if you made mistakes.

He still knew little about the book, but he heard there was a movie, which would take a few hours to watch, and according to his friend it was pretty faithful. Writing the paper itself would still be a challenge, but it was one he could manage, assuming he could check out or rent the movie somewhere. Failing that, there was a chance it would be online, with how old it was. _After that, I just have to write the damn thing._


	4. Logical Ambiguity

The following morning he woke with more dreams he could not remember, but that was nothing out of the ordinary, certainly at this point. He realized he was up early, but since he came home early at the insistence of Kotomi, he actually managed to get enough sleep to where he would not just fall asleep again. He still wanted nothing to do with his father, but going so far out of his way to avoid the man had started to seem childish at some point.

Had his mind not been visited by odd memories of uncertain origin, he might have thought that he was just becoming a man. He might have thought that he was becoming more responsible, more consistent about his behavior, and less inclined to run from his problems. _Not that there would be anything wrong with that. From now on, if my father wants to pretend like the abuse didn't happen, he can say it to my face._

Ryou might have noticed his expression as she passed him, but she said nothing. She seemed to be carrying a pack of cards as always. _That must be for fortune-telling._

"Hi, Fujibayashi. Where's your sister?" he asked.

"Oh, she's… well, she might be a little later," she answered. _Did she sleep in or something?_ It occurred to him he might not be the only night owl at the school. _I wouldn't have known, arriving late all the time._

"How do you know she's going to be late?" he asked, thinking Kyou had still been in bed.

"Oh… it's in the cards."

"How do you read those? I know there's some sort of rule about what Tarot cards mean, but I didn't think there was any set way of interpreting playing cards."

"Oh, well… it's a little difficult to explain. I can show you, though." She got out a handful of cards and fanned them without breaking her stride. "Pick three."

"Uh, okay." He took three from the same place in the stack. Ryou squinted at them a moment before taking them back and reshuffling.

"Lucky you, Okazaki. You're going to meet a nice girl today, but you're also going to suffer some injury as a result." She paused. "A lot of it depends on the interpretation, but this should be pretty accurate… I think." _It's weird, but the fortune makes me think of Sakagami. I hope Sunohara doesn't do something stupid with her again, especially not if I end up injured._

"Thanks, Fujibayashi," he said, sighing. It was too much to hope the blonde boy would not do anything stupid, since that was his way. Tomoya decided to constrain his wishes so that he was less likely to be disappointed. _Maybe it's not talking about Sakagami, since I've already met her… then again, it's just a fortune._

At school he skipped a class he hardly considered essential, taking a walk in the old school building. He felt a tapping against his back after the sound of someone sneaking up on him. There was no malice to be detected.

"Yes?" he asked. Turning around, there was a short girl with a wooden star.

"Please accept this!" she requested, holding out the rough carving. He noticed a bandage on her hand.

"Uhh… okay." If asked, he could not have said why he took it. It did not look like it was worth anything, nor did he have anything to do with it. "Thank you."

"Will you come to Fuko's sister's wedding?" the girl asked.

"You're Fuko, then? Of course." _Why am I agreeing to this? Is this something else I remember?_ If his other memories were faint, this was on an entirely different level. "When is it?"

"Some time… in the near future."

"Well, that's not very helpful. You can't get many people to go to a wedding if you don't know when it is." _Maybe I remember the wedding. I don't think I would have gone to a lot of them._ "Who is marrying your sister?"

"Yoshino Yusuke," she answered, still apparently thinking about something, her hand on her chin in an exaggerated 'thinker' pose. "I don't know when it's going to be because they haven't decided on a date yet," she admitted. There seemed to be some reason she could not simply wait for them to decide when they would be wed.

"They're engaged, though, right?" he asked. _Usually the wife has a date picked out before that… at least that's how it works on tv shows._ "They don't want to go ahead and get married?"

"They're… well, they just want it to be the right time… when everyone can be there." It seemed like something was being concealed from him, but he left it at that. The girl was already running off to someone else with another handmade star, likely trying to get as many people as possible to come to the wedding. There was a chance it had something to do with the school, or maybe Fuko just had no other place to hand out invitations. He did not think he had ever seen her on the way to school, or on the way out.

When he went back to class, Sunohara was mocking Kyou. He was not the type to leave a girl alone after she slipped up once, and this was no exception. Currently, he was using Freudian logic to suggest that the only reason she suspected his friend of perversion was because she was a pervert herself.

"Which is it, then?" he asked. "Do you secretly want Okazaki to look under your sister's skirt, or your own? Or do you want to look under her skirt yourself?" Under any other circumstances, he would not have thought the girl would be so cornered, since she was at least a little smarter than the blonde boy and kept toe to toe with him in terms of meanness. Unfortunately, Freudian logic seemed to be working, since most of the other students in class were also staring at her, wondering which it was.

"Knock it off, Sunohara, it's two days old," he muttered, though apparently his friend was ignoring him. _He finally found some way of getting one over on people- he can't win at fights, he's got no future, so he'll come up with mean puzzles with no way of getting out of them._

"Which is it, Kyou?" someone else asked. This time it was a girl."Have you been into girls this whole time?" If other things he had seen today seemed childish, this was in another category. The teacher walked in, but the taunting continued as he preoccupied himself with writing things on the board. _Whatever. I'll settle this now._

"Didn't you realize around the time you started asking her which it was that the whole thing was fucking bullshit?" he asked. Sunohara blinked. "I mean, if something she did meant something about her, wouldn't her choice be irrelevant? I don't know what book you read about this garbage, but if the math book said that one and one might make two, or three, or seven, then it's a fucking useless math book written by a dumbass."

Everyone in class was staring at him, including the teacher. _Is this where I finally get kicked out of school? Maybe someone's just going to hit me so hard I get the injury from the prophecy this morning._ Nothing was said for a moment. _No, I'll believe that when I see it._

"Very good, Okazaki," the teacher said, surprising him. "You have correctly identified the logical problem of applied psychology." He checked his folder to see what class it was. _Ancient literature… that means the teacher is Koumura…_ "I would appreciate it, however, if you did not use such language in my class."

"Sorry, sir."

Class proceeded normally from there. He already knew, if not consciously, that teachers knew more than what they taught, though it still surprised him every so often. He tried to make a connection between ancient literature and logic, but he would have had to know more about the former at least. As they went to lunch, Sunohara was bothering him.

"Hey! Okazaki! You ruined it. She was going to have to say something embarrassing and it would've been funny."

"I don't care," he muttered, staying ahead. "Don't tell dumb jokes dressed up as smart ones. It takes the fun out of it." If it seemed like a weird rule to his friend, there was no comment to that effect. Instead, he took a different approach.

"Well, I still need to go after Sakagami. She hasn't proven anything we didn't already know by beating me in a fight." _What does she even need to prove at this point?_

"Then just ask her if she'd like to arm-wrestle you or something. She'll agree to it, beat you, then we can go get Mitsurugi from the dorm, ask her to arm-wrestle him, and she'll politely decline rather than look like she's got a big head. She's not a superhuman. She's probably not even as strong as the average male second-year. She's just a hell of a lot stronger than you." Tomoya understood he was deviating from his normal standard of verbal abuse by being more direct and less humorous, but this was annoying him.

"Maybe I'll do just that!" Sunohara announced as they reached the cafeteria. "Do you have any idea where she is?" he asked, looking around. _There are plenty of tables around, so it wouldn't be a bad place… No, I'm not helping him._ "What about where she's going to be?"

"Well, the last place she's going to be is the shed where we keep athletic gear," he said, naming a random place. "The last thing she wants is to get sweaty while campaigning for student council president, so if you hear anyone say she's going to be there, they're lying." _That'll give her at least one place to duck him if that's what she'd rather do._

After lunch he went back to the reference room, since there was a chance he could sleep there. Even though it was easy when he got to it, doing his work and paying attention in class seemed like a waste. He looked over a book about English in hopes that it would put him to sleep, since that was what usually happened. Unfortunately, understanding it better than before made it hard for him to tune the information out, so he slammed the book shut and rubbed his temples after a while.

He looked around the room, at the books, the water heater, the table… some girl had left her things lying around, and his curiosity got the better of him. It was strange how frequently that happened whenever he had something more important to be doing. A name caught his eye.

"Miyazawa Yukine…" he muttered, reading the label on one of the folders, then again in disbelief. _She's been right under my nose the whole time. It isn't a common surname, so she has to be related to one of the major players in the gang conflict. Wait, did I know that the whole time?_

He tried to think of any earlier point in his life where he would have been exposed to any gangs well enough to know about their leaders, or one of their hangouts. It sounded enough like general knowledge, especially for a delinquent, but he could not think of any specific point where he would have picked the information up. Slamming a fist against the table in moderate frustration, he wondered if he had been unwittingly guided around by his old memories, hitting all the places he was supposed to hit. _It can't be exactly the same as the first time I experienced it, but it should logically be pretty close._

Classes ended after math, where he paid attention some. It seemed like what he was learning had a chance of being useful later. He walked absently out to the shed by the field they used for physical education. As perhaps he should have expected, Sakagami was there.

"Hi," he said, walking over. _Shouldn't allow my voice to carry far. Sunohara has a bad habit of picking it up and running over._

"Okazaki?" she asked, opening the door in disinterest. "Did you start the rumor that I would not be over here? If so, I thank you."

"How did you hear about it?" he asked, stopping right next to her.

"Apparently Furukawa Nagisa heard you when you said it at the cafeteria, as did a few others. She thought it was something you would do. For a delinquent, you've been making waves."

"I could say the same about you," Tomoya muttered, walking into the shed absently. It had been years since he had actually been inside it. Perhaps Sakagami had the same passing curiosity. Perhaps she thought he was trying to evade their conversation. In either case, she followed him.

"Well, I'm running for president, so I can't let anything controversial catch up to me." _I know that. I don't know how I know it, but I do._ "Why does your friend keep following me?"

"Well, the short version is, he's a dumbass." It appeared that bit of information was not enough with a cross of the girl's arms. "He's trying to prove he's tough, and you seem to be the toughest around, so he's trying to pick on you in some contest he knows he can win. He probably won't, so if you wanted to get it over with, you were always welcome to try. I thought about it, though, and you might not want to bother, so I came up with this as an alternative. Waiting him out might be the best thing for it, since beating him once will only make him think of something else. He's really persistent."

"That's considerate of you," the girl said. It looked like she had not thought of it that way. "Oh, I still haven't thanked you properly for dragging your friend away so that I wouldn't have to deal with it." Sakagami stepped inside the shed, the door closing behind her. A sudden gasp at the sound of the locking mechanism indicated that had been anything but her intention. All the same, Tomoya could hardly waste the opportunity.

"Uh… is this how you intended to thank me?"


	5. A Better Future?

Sakagami's face was red. She was looking at the floor, her feet together and her whole body shaking slightly. Rather than try to stammer out an explanation like Kyou, she was perfectly silent. _It's a safe bet she's nervous. She's actually kind of cute like this._

"Uhh… I mean, it's nice of you, but I don't think this would be good for your campaign…" he trailed off. "I think Sunohara might have a heart attack if I told him about this."

"Please don't tell him about this!" she shrieked. Tomoya's hands went to his ears. "Sorry," she whispered. "I'm… sensitive." _She must think people forget she's a girl if she doesn't remind them. I guess it makes sense that some people would. Then there's that blonde idiot, he probably already suspects… did he say anything about that, though? Is that something else I remember?_

"I'm only joking. If anything, this is my fault." He sat down on a stack of tumbling mats they sometimes used for the pole vault. "A few days ago, I met this girl named Miyazawa Yukine. She told me there were interesting books in the reference room." There was no response. "I ask her to prove it, so she takes out this spell book and asks if I would like to be stuck in an enclosed space with anyone in particular."

"It's your fault because she used magic?" Sakagami asked, perhaps trying to conceal the disbelief in her voice. If she had been trying, she did not succeed. "You couldn't have thought that it would work." She huffed. "And, as someone who takes responsibility for her life, I still refuse to believe it did work."

"I didn't say you had to." He avoided the reason for thinking magic was real, since it was a bit embarrassing. It might explain the memories that felt like they were stuffed into his head, but other than that it was just as unlikely as it always had been. He had always felt there was something weird or unexplained out there, but books of magic spells for girls had not been part of the mental picture. The two of them waited, but it seemed unlikely anyone would come to let them out. He had a fleeting hope his companion could kick the lock, but even if she could, it would be destroying school property.

"I really want to ask about the name Miyazawa…" the presidential candidate started. "I really want to ask about it, but it will just have to wait." She sighed. "Was mine a random name you pulled out of a hat? Did you envision that even if the spell was real, it would be alright as long as you were stuck with me?"

"Sure I did," he said, staring off into space. More accurately, he supposed, it was a set of bats of different weights. "We're both delinquents, after all."

Sakagami gave him a smile and a raised eyebrow. She understood, but it was only a little funny. She sat down next to him.

"I'm not a delinquent any more, you know," she whispered. "I have dreams. I'm going to change things."

"Good for you."

"I asked around about you. If what the basketball team says is true, you've only been a delinquent about as long as I have not been. You had dreams once." She scooted closer, perhaps to see his facial expression. _You were never one of those girls who could tell by the voice, were you?_ "So, what happened?"

For a moment, he had no wish to respond. Perhaps a week ago he might have suggested putting basketballs up the asses of his old teammates, anything to change the subject. But running of late seemed childish, and childish of late seemed different from what he wanted to be.

"Life happened," he said at length. "I had a fight with my father. I knew my arm hurt, but I never realized how bad it was. I stayed up in my room until it was about to fall off, then I walked myself to a clinic. There was nothing they could do. I didn't tell the old man. I don't care if he ever found out. The amount of guilt he felt… was never going to be what he deserved to feel. I wanted him to think I quit playing just to spite him. If my arm miraculously healed today, I think I still wouldn't rejoin."

Out of the corner of his eye he could see the girl's face turn away. _You can't watch my expression and hide your own at the same time, I guess._ It was not an issue for him. Sakagami could pity him if she wanted; he had only looked her up a few days ago because of some dumb thing he said to get Sunohara off his back. _That dumbass has already forgotten whatever we were discussing._

"Will you show me?"

"What?" Tomoya turned to face her.

"No one else will see… I just want to look at the injury. I want to see this curse you've been carrying…"

Perhaps it was the confined space. Perhaps it was something he could blame on a memory. Perhaps he just wanted to show her. He took off his shirt. _It's not a curse, it's my father. Curses mean nothing to me._ Lost in thought, he hardly felt her hands on his shoulder as he took the chance to look her up and down. He hardly noticed as the door to the shed came open all of a sudden.

"Um- um- um-" a girl, stammered, staggering backward and landing on her but. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." She had her face buried in her knees, drawn up and held in place by her arms. Tomoya knew he was less embarrassed and had less reason to be embarrassed than Sakagami, so he put his shirt on and walked out, thanking the girl who was trying to cease to exist. Looking back, it seemed the presidential candidate was hiding. _That's probably smart. There's nothing to be gained by letting this girl know who she was._

"Thanks. We were stuck in there for a while. It was starting to get hot." He could not see if his ruse was working. Their benefactor kept her face covered. It occurred to him the other girl could probably use the opportunity to get away and he motioned for her.

"It's… nothing…" the strange girl said, not moving. "Do you have a shirt on, yet?" He offered no response. "Does… she have… her clothes on?" Looking around, it appeared that Sakagami was gone.

"Yeah. We weren't doing anything lewd." _That's what she'll want to believe anyway._ "She's already on her way, though."

"Oh," she said, lowering her hands. It was Furukawa. _That makes sense. I can't think of anyone else who would have guessed someone was in here._ "Why did you say Tomoyo would not be here?"

"Well, she doesn't want to be bothered by Sunohara." _Since when did you get so close with her, I wonder…_ "I figured either he would go there, thinking that I was trying to trick him, or he would announce that he believed me, and that would give her at least one place to go if she felt like it."

"Why did you go over here?"

"I just wanted to see which it was. It's not a big deal."

It was bizarre, but he only just remembered he was supposed to be avoiding the girl. There was none of the strange feeling he had before; there was nothing about her that seemed dangerous or harmful at all. _Am I starting to forget? Are my older memories being overwritten by new memories?_ He still had not found out much about her, other than that her parents ran a bakery, and she was a bit weird.

"I've heard you were friends with Kotomi," Furukawa said. "Do you like her?"

"It's not like that. We're just friends." There was a slight pause. "Could you not tell anyone about seeing us here? I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me. Well, it would be even worse if they had the wrong idea about her. She's running for president of the student council."

As he said his goodbyes and walked off, he realized he had said nothing to the effect that he was only friends with the other girl, but there was nothing for it. She would believe what she wanted to believe, and as long as she did not talk about it, that would be fine. He met Kotomi by the school gate, seeing that she lacked her violin case. _That's good. I don't think either of us would benefit from her playing again._

The plan was to discuss the book. He had read about as much as he could stand to read of it, and where he could read the language, the culture was indecipherable. _What the hell is a dairy queen? I thought there was no royalty in America- and why do they carry heaters around?_ With every page he turned he found himself less able to focus on whatever the book meant, lost as he was in how dissimilar the strange world was from anything that made sense.

Tomoya ended up reading the first few paragraphs over and over. If he could understand them, he could understand the rest of it. He genuinely hoped he would not be asked many questions about the content of the story, but oddly he was starting to get a feel for it, or at least the narrative voice.

"I saw you talking to Furukawa Nagisa," the girl said as they walked off to her house.

"I don't really know her, or anything about her. We've met a couple times." _It's better not to go into detail. I definitely can't tell her about the memories._

"Well, I think she's interesting, and she's nice enough to accept my own weirdness." She ignored his insistence that she was not that weird, though for the life of him he could not imagine why he was objecting. "I find it easy enough to get along with her, and our interests are similar enough. Do you know Nishina Rie?"

"I've never met her."

"Well, she and Furukawa are sort of kindred spirits. I suggested they get to know each other."

"How so?"

"Well, if you don't know her, Rie was a violinist like I am, and she must have been a bit better, since she was going to study abroad in a conservatory-" _That's not a bit better. That's infinitely better._ "- but basically she cannot play violin anymore because her hand was injured." Tomoya said nothing. "They both have the same favorite teacher, Koumura…"

"I think I'm in his class."

"Oh, then you know him. He told Rie not to be discouraged that she could no longer play. He introduced her to another girl, Harada, who was interested in a chorus club, and she's looking for a third." _That's right. You need at least three members including the president._ "Harada has a naturally good voice, and she's been helping Rie to condition her own. I've been considering joining the club myself, but I'm not as skilled with singing. Perhaps I'll help them in a performance."

"So now Nagisa will join their club?"

"It looks that way. She was missing the theater club, and they insisted music could tell all kinds of stories. They have enough members as they are, but they said they are still open to new ones. Her friend Sugisaka might join, now that it looks like it will actually work out."

"Well, it's great that she's finding friends," he said, letting her open the door as they reached her house. It appeared her adoptive father was at the door. _Should I come back later?_

"Good afternoon, Daddy. Tomoya and I were going to study for an hour or so."

"That's good. Did you ever say anything about this young man? I don't have the best memory…"

"I may have mentioned him before." _Does that mean you didn't tell him I was coming over? Well, even you might not have been sure._ He waited for some kind of explanation, but Kotomi seemed to believe she had explained enough.

"He seems nice…" he started, once they were alone for the moment.

"He is; I don't have a problem with him," the adoptive daughter said, if a bit defensively. "I know that children are not usually supposed to say that they 'don't have a problem' with their parents… but he isn't my real father…" She sighed. "Not to make less of your circumstances, but you wouldn't get it, because you still have your father."

"I wouldn't put it that way."

"What?"

"Never mind. It's a long story, anyway." His deflection seemed to do little to allay her concerns. The two of them sat down all the same. "The character, uh, Ponyboy Curtis, seems like a real… delinquent." The girl sitting next to him might have smiled, but he missed it.

"I was hoping you would like him. Out of all his friends and family, he's the only one with a shot at going on to higher education. His brothers are older and his friends are criminals; they do their best with the jobs they can get, and they never seem to question it. Why is that?"

"Well, that's just how it has been their whole lives. Greasers don't go to school." Tomoya started to wonder if this was part of the reason Sakagami thought Kotomi could answer questions about gangs. _She might have been reading a book about gangs in America for context._

"But he decides to be different. He decides at the end of the book that he's going to go to school."

"I didn't think he was any different from the rest of them. It just seemed like he was the youngest, so he still had a way out. There were still choices he could make."

"If he made the wrong choices, would he have ended up dead, like some of his friends?" _Why are you asking me this? I have enough to write the minimum requirement-_

"Well, I can't think of any reason other than their choices that killed them," he said, trying to reason his way through it. The thought crossed his mind that it would have been easier to read the book, but he had not the time. "Every choice leads to more choices. It's not as if his friends just wanted to die, so they picked death. They died because they ran out of choices." The girl across from him really did smile.

"You get it, then."

"Well, I try…"

"Here I thought you were an unrepentant delinquent. I heard your teacher for English offered you a chance to pass the class by doing well on this assignment. I was surprised that you took it."

"I'm not that much of a delinquent. If I fail school, I'm done." It was not that much of an exaggeration. Even for jobs that required no particular academic prowess, graduating from high school was a basic requirement as a filter for maturity. It was illegal not to go to school until reaching legal adulthood, so a young man had no excuse not to pass and graduate, if nothing else.

"Well, that's true. I had been concerned, though, that you might just have been that much of a delinquent. I hear you skip classes all the time, and you frequently show up late and neglect to turn in assignments." Kotomi sighed. "There was no indication of this when we were kids. It's actually a little hard for me to believe how differently our lives turned out."

"That was a long time ago," he excused. In truth, he barely remembered anything from that time. It had only been a fluke, or a product of his more suspicious memories that he remembered the girl's name when he saw her again. "After my chances at basketball fell apart, I mostly stopped caring."

If her expression had been downcast, she was now looking at the floor without regard to body language.

"I mean… I know it's been a long time, but you were such a bright kid. You were happy, too. When we met again, I thought we'd be in the same place, going the same direction. I don't look down on people who want to go into athletics, or people who don't go to any university, but I never thought you would stop caring. I never thought you would stop pursuing a better future."

"Well, that's what I'm trying to do now, isn't it?"

"Not really. Pursuing a better future would have meant switching to academics full time after sports didn't work out. You could have tried something else, I suppose, like soccer-" _Stop. You're not my father. Quit while you're behind._ "You've run yourself out of choices, like Ponyboy's friend Dallas. Did you read the part where he died? He was carrying a heater- a pistol, which would have been fine if he didn't wave it at people as a stress reliever. Eventually, someone called the police saying he was out for blood and when they found him, he threatened them and they shot him."

"I'm not going to buy a gun and threaten people with it!" he objected, trying not to raise his voice too much. At the same time, he was starting to see how the lecture was tying into the assignment.

"A few years ago, you would have been mad at me if I said you would end up where you are today- not that I ever would have predicted it," Kotomi said, sighing again. "I'm sorry. I'm jealous of you, and that's why I'm upset." She looked at the clock on the wall. "One of the main themes of the book is youth. When you're young, you have all the choices in the world. The trouble is, the world doesn't stop for you to make them. You don't always know when you're making an important decision. Youth just rushes past you and one day you wake up and you wish there was, but there won't be a way back."


	6. Plan B

Tomoya had left Kotomi's house after writing part of his paper. His written English was getting to be passable, but he still had a ton of corrections to do. It was a class in the language rather than in literature, and there was a loophole in the spirit of the assignment in the sense that there were other ways to understand the book than reading it, like watching the movie subbed. Since it was still remotely light out, he decided to go to Sunohara's dormitory.

The dorm mother, Sagara Misae, stood in the doorway.

"It's a little late for visitors, Okazaki."

"I don't intend to be here long," he deflected. "Have you had any more luck with the residents?"

"They make a lot less noise, lately. It's not their only problem, but at least I can focus on getting them to clean their rooms." _Well, that's an improvement._ "Oh, and your friend might be in for an even worse beating. The rugby team went and found a baseball player who's going to enjoy beating him just as much as he's going to enjoy being beaten."

"I'll see what I can do." He found his way to Sunohara's room as always, ignoring the mess. _He might have the faintest chance of getting some of his work done if he cleaned up enough to find it._ Tomoya had never criticized his friend in a helpful manner, and he knew that likely contributed to his friend never improving, so perhaps he would make mention of how keeping spaces clean would help him find things. It was not as if he obsessed over such things, but his own room was always at least in order.

"Okazaki, you ruined my life!"

"What did I do this time?"

"They found a baseball player who swings the other way!"

"That sounds like an unpleasant experience for the catcher," he responded, pretending not to pick up on the expression. "They don't generally like balls coming at their faces."

"That's very clever, you know that? You're just the ultimate height of cleverness!" the blonde boy decided, plopping down on his own bed and looking up in frustration. "Well, this time your cleverness has gone all the way back around to my ass and-"

"I heard about that."

"Well, what are you going to do? This is going to be worse than being beaten up by a bunch of normal guys?"

"Is it? You really think he has the time of day to follow you around all the time?" Tomoya was delaying. It was true that having one enemy was generally better than having many, but he knew what his friend meant. _To make things worse, he really is right that I got him into this. It seemed like a clever idea at the time, but it only made things worse._ He ignored whatever was currently being shouted at him. "Come on, I've got another idea."

"What?"

"We're going to ask a favor of our friend Mitsurugi."

"The last person I want to see right now is- anyone from the rugby team. They've been giving me sidelong glances and avoiding me. It's unnerving."

"Well, isn't that better than getting beaten up all the time?" he asked. "Wait a minute, get a picture of your sister."

"Are you intending to use it as a… bargaining chip?! Okazaki, you've officially crossed the line, you animal!" He laughed.

"No, that's like Plan C or D. This is unrelated." _It's probably better to leave him behind for this one. The way he'll react would probably ruin the plan. At least in the moment, he'd probably hate the cure worse than the disease itself._ He joined in looking for the picture. "It'd probably be easier to find things you needed if you cleaned up around here."

"I know that!" Sunohara shouted, still annoyed. His sister being traded for his protection was intolerable, even if moved down in preference-based plans. "I'm still not sure I want you to have my sister's picture! It's the only one I have of her, anyway."

"Well, how about this. If I find it, you have to stay here, cleaning up your room until you're done. If you find it, you don't have to go along with Plan B," he proposed, standing by the door.

"I still don't like how Plan A is telling everyone-"

"That's a 'yes', then?" _Better to cut him off before he realizes he's promising two things upon losing._

"Like you could ever find my sister's picture first."

"Well, here it is," Tomoya said, producing it from behind his back. He thought he had seen it last time he was in the room, after some tenuous memory told him that there was a younger sister in the picture. He had hoped he would regain some other fleeting notion upon seeing it, but there was none to be had. "Now stay here and clean up the place until you're done. I'm going to have a chat with our friend."

He walked out before the blonde boy could object. _He'll end up going along with it. Most of the time he ends up doing what he said he'll do, at least when it starts to look like it'll work out for him._

The correct door was easy to find and he knocked without hesitation. The worst that could happen was Sunohara would get beaten up more, which was not that much of a problem. The door opened.

"Hey, Mitsurugi, can I talk to you for a minute? I heard that some of the rugby players found-"

"That wasn't my idea. To be honest, it only makes me more uncomfortable."

"Well, there might be some more discomfort coming your way, well, really his way, but I thought I could get you to give him the heads up." He sighed. "You see, earlier I told you as much as I thought was necessary, that he likes being beaten up by strong dudes, but there was something that he wanted me to keep secret. It would be kind of a disaster if it came out."

"Don't tell me…" the rugby player interrupted, trailing off as the pieces fell into place. Ideally, he would put together some version of events and Tomoya would explain whichever one he immediately assumed. Some of them would be harder to explain than others. "…that he's actually… a she?"

"I'm afraid it's true. She knew you wouldn't beat her up, since hitting girls is verboten and feels bad, so she pretended to be a guy to get into this dorm and get you to hold her to more masculine standards, which of course she wouldn't meet. Did you ever think that was a coincidence? I wouldn't blame you."

"Well, there are plenty of short guys out there… wimps, you know. They're annoying, but it's not like they act tough. They'll get beaten up for that sort of thing." Mitsurugi paused. "Hey, some of the guys were saying that Sunohara wanted to go into the bathroom with them. Wouldn't that give it away?"

"I'm afraid that was one of her bolder plans. She knew you guys wouldn't be looking at her, because of what you expected to see, but she'd have been looking at you. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner."

"That's okay, actually. Knowing that it was a girl the whole time instead of a guy makes things a bit better. I definitely don't want to beat her up, though. I don't hit girls." He was silent for a moment. "You've known about this the whole time?"

Tomoya nodded, extending the picture frame.

"This is a picture of her from years ago. I told her not to dye her hair on top of everything else, but she said pretending to be blonde would be even more annoying. Oh, I don't know whether or not the dorm mother knows. Scratch that, there's no way she does. She wouldn't let a girl stay here."

"Sunohara Mei…" _He must be reading something in the picture. So that's her name._ "Maybe we shouldn't let her stay here. Something bad might happen to her."

"Well, that'll be her choice. Besides, we won't tell anyone else, just the guy they brought in to beat her up. If he knows she's a girl, well, he'll make a more informed decision. Say, do you have a girlfriend?" he asked out of nowhere.

"No," the rugby player responded. "The last one broke up with me because the sport keeps me on the road. I told her it wasn't going to stop, so she left. It's a pity; I like that kind of girl." There was a brief pause. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just something I was wondering, you see, you'd have to keep this a bit of a secret, but…"

"What?"

"Well, Sunohara likes you. A minute ago, I told her that I was going to go over here to tell you the truth, and now she's cleaning up her room like there's no tomorrow. I told her it was plenty clean, even for a girl, but she refused to even consider the idea. She's got it in her head that now that you know who she really is, you might… come over and see for yourself."

"Never. I would never invade her privacy. Not without her permission would I allow anyone to go in her room." _Wow, you're really adamant about that. Did something happen?_

"Well, if she invites you in the near future, you don't have to come, but don't be too surprised one way or the other. You can imagine why she'd be bashful," he said, getting up to leave. _Now I just have to make sure the real Mei doesn't show up here…_

"Thanks, Okazaki," Mitsurugi said. "I understand why you concealed part of the story earlier. I promise not to tell anyone other than the baseball player."

"I mean, I should be thanking you. You're a real stand-up guy. You're helping us out of what could be a really bad situation for everyone."

With some parting words he was crossing the hall again. _There's another reason beating up a girl would be a disaster, and I guess it speaks to his character that he never brought it up. Getting the law involved in personal conflicts is cowardly, and always a bad idea._ He stopped for a minute before opening the other door. _Now I need to think up something that would stop Sunohara from getting the law involved._

"Hey," he said as he opened the door and closed it quickly behind him. The blonde boy had cleaned up a bit, but there was still a ways to go. Even if he picked things up, there were still messes and the place smelled. "I notice you're not done yet."

"No, I'm not done. It's not something I can do in just a few minutes!" he objected, bringing his voice down at the last second. "So, what did you do, offer Mei to that guy across the hall?"

"Even better, she's already here."

"What? Where? Is that why you told me to clean?"

"In a manner of speaking. She's right there," he explained, pointing at his friend. A confused expression indicated not all had been explained. "You're pretending to be your sister from now on, at least when Mitsurugi is around. It's better if he doesn't hear about you showing your dick to someone."

"What?! I can't pretend to be a girl."

"You can't pretend to be a guy. He believed me right after I showed him that picture and said it was you from before you started dying your hair. At least now you don't have to be the guy who lost to Sakagami." He looked at the clock. "It's getting late, so unless you want to get beat up by that guy from the baseball team, it's better to go along with it. You also agreed to it."

"This isn't the end of this discussion, Okazaki!" he managed at a quiet scream. The door closed all the same.

Tomoya had more than enough to occupy his mind as he at last wandered home. As much as he would have liked to flesh out the plan with Sunohara, he knew it would have only distracted him from the real issue of Kotomi. Her criticisms of the way he had been spending his life made sense, but he felt he was not the same person as when he made those decisions. He knew why he did not simply pick up another sport; it would give him something to discuss with his father, which was the last thing he wanted.

_I guess I could pick up something that isn't a sport. I don't know how good I'd get at it before graduating. It'd be something to do instead of going to class, if nothing else._

His home was dark when he arrived and he essentially went straight to bed after taking care of a few minor things. Sleep refused his appeals. Lying awake for what felt like hours, he gave it up and went downstairs for something to drink. He noticed the flowers on the little shrine to his mother had been replaced. _Well, that fits. He never cared about me, but at least he still cares about his wife._


	7. Nature and Nurture

The following morning brought with it the forgetfulness that emptied his mind of the dreams so recently there, but that was expected at this point. He was only going to be a little late to school, which was better than it could have been. His only complaint, as it happened, was Kyou bothering him from the back of a scooter. _She's going to be late. Why does she care enough to harass me if she's going out of her way getting a scooter to be on time?_

"Hey, you!" he heard someone call out. The Fujibayashi girl was gone as soon as he heard the voice. _Damn._ "Can you give me a hand here? I dropped something." Looking around, Tomoya gathered that a man working on the power lines had dropped a screwdriver. _I'm already late… it'd be a real pain for him to come down just to get the tool._ Picking it up, he looked back up at the worker. He was young, with an out-of-place look to him.

"This it?"

"Yes… the entire world breathes a sigh of relief when an act of kindness is performed," the strange man said as he tossed the screwdriver up. He caught it with his free hand and set back to work. "Many pass by. I understand that, as long as they go to be with a loved one- it's our loved ones that make life worth the living, friend."

Still using the excuse that he was late already, he kept helping the worker with the power line, who promised to compensate him when next they met. _Well, if it'll make him feel better…_ In the meantime, he provided Tomoya with a business card.

"Yoshino Yusuke… I've heard your name before."

"Many have, I'm afraid. To know a man's name and to see his face is not to know him, though. Perhaps he will never even know himself… far more know of me than I shall ever know."

"Do you know a girl named Fuko? I think she might know you." _If he'd just drop the pretentious garbage-_

The worker stopped what he was doing. He turned around. _Okay…_

"She happens to be the exception of the rule. It seems serendipitous that you would mention her of all people… I know her name and I have seen her face, but she knows nothing of me, and I know nothing of her true nature, nothing of the secrets of her heart… does that make me a fan of hers?"

"It might…" _Well, now I know I'm on the right track._ "Are you planning on marrying her sister?"

If he had Yoshino's attention before, he monopolized it now, but only for a moment. The worker put his tools of the trade into a truck and walked around to the driver's seat. He paused a moment before leaving.

"There are many things I have left to do, and I am glad to have arranged to meet with you again. You have given me more than enough to consider." The vehicle pulled off, presumably to the next work stop. _He's right… I'm really late for class now._

When he finally made it, there were only a few minutes left of the first class, so it felt worse to go in than wait for it to be over. Looking out the window, he scanned the parking lot for any trace of Kyou's scooter but found nothing. _She must have parked it somewhere it wouldn't be spotted easily. Do I remember her using the scooter? Is this something different than what happened in the memories? It feels like it might have happened…_

His second class was a drag, as always, but Ryou kept getting his attention by looking over in his direction. _She's probably wondering if her fortune came true. What was it again…?_

"Hey, what was the fortune?" he asked as soon as class let out.

"You would meet a nice girl, but suffer some injury as a result…"

"Well, I may have met a nice girl, but the injury is still coming to me." _Well, if I've learned that magic is real, why not fortune-telling?_ "It may not happen. I don't know whether or not that's optimistic."

"It might not," Ryou conceded, barely concealing an amused smile. "That's part of the fun of fortunes, though… If you could be certain of what would happen, there would be no point in reading them." She had an awkward way about her in general, but that seemed to disappear when discussing divination. _Can't imagine why._

Lunch was crowded as always. He had looked for the Miyazawa girl so that he could offer to go buy something for her, as well as to advise against using magic spells on people in the future, but he did not see her in the reference room. _Well, she can't be in there all day. She's probably trying to get into college._ To make matters worse, Ryou's latest prediction said that he would not find something valuable, and it seemed likely that whatever he set out to find after hearing that would be the ill-fated thing, even if it were a person.

Resigning himself to that particular bit of misfortune, he caught sight of Sakagami talking to Furukawa outside the window on his way back from lunch. _What is it that_ they _have in common? They seem like opposites._ Looking down at the courtyard as he was, he nearly bumped into a girl he had not seen there.

"Oh, sorry," he said, seeing her wince. For some, it was the thought that counted, it seemed.

"I'm fine," she said, gathering her music sheets. _Did she drop them just because she was surprised? She has a bit of a weird way of carrying them._ "Koumura-sensei needs these copied by three, so I still have time."

"Oh, you're with the choral club…" he started, not remembering the names of the girls involved. _Even if I knew them, I would not know which this one is._ "You wouldn't happen to be Nishina, would you?"

"That's my name. I've seen you talking with Kotomi… is there any way you can get her off my back?"

"Oh, is she trying to play violin around you?" For the life of him, Tomoya could not guess why a smart girl as she was had no idea that her music sounded awful. "Why don't you just teach her?"

"It's not that simple," the former violinist objected. "Some people just don't have the talent for it. Besides… I mean, would you teach your annoying friend how to play basketball?" _Oh, so she's met Sunohara before. That explains how she knows a bit about me._

"I don't know; there's a chance he would be good if he played on the girls' team."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing, just thinking aloud." _Did he ever try to just pick up a basketball and act like he was good? Is that another one of my memories? It seems like something he would do, anyway. He's boasted about being better than other people at most other things._

"Well, it's fine if she joins the choral club, since her voice can't be any worse than her playing, but please make that clear to her in a way that doesn't get back to me. Harada is a really good choral teacher; she'll fit right in if she works with us. Nagisa is already… improving." _That's right, that's Furukawa's personal name._

"I guess not everyone starts off perfect."

"It's not like her voice is terrible; she just wants to sing this cutesy song from a few years ago. It's not old enough to be nostalgic, and I hate it." Nishina left without another word. As she walked away, his mind went back to her comment about teaching a novice basketball. He doubted she had ever seen Sunohara make an attempt, so technically neither of them knew he was bad. _That isn't it then… she just knew it would be a sore spot for me like the violin is for her._

He shrugged it off. It was a bit of a rude thing to do, he supposed, but he was hardly the politest person in the world himself. _I should probably focus on at least being nice to nice people. That shouldn't be that hard._

Kotomi found him in between two of his classes in the new school building, telling him they would not be able to work together that evening. He told her it was not too much of a bother, and would find something else to do. She had almost walked away when he mentioned that he had run into the leader of the choral club, who said that there would not be any need for live music, and if they wanted any in the future, they would probably reach out.

"Oh, that's a relief," she responded. "I was just thinking I was going to have to audition again!" He shook his head as she nearly skipped away. _It must be hard to be a girl of your talents, with all the commitments._

Thinking of the girl with the star-shaped carving, perhaps because of the hall, he checked his bag to see if he still had it, but it was gone. _What's she thinking asking students around here to go to her sister's wedding, anyway? Doesn't she know most people are busy this time of year?_ From what little he had seen of her, she seemed to have a childhood naivety, a reluctance to approach people except from behind… it was hard to believe she was in high school. _She'd have to be a first year, but it's like it's her first day or something._

After classes were finally over he found the Miyazawa girl in the reference room. All right had been restored to the universe as he entered, finding her pouring over a book that looked unappealing. He asked what it was.

"Oh, it's an essential resource on medical terminology," she started back. "I need it to understand several of the other books. How did the spell work?"

"I mean it definitely worked. I got stuck in the shed with Sakagami until someone released us." The girl's eyes widened momentarily, but she motioned for him to continue. "You might want to be more careful with that in the future."

"Yes, that seems appropriate, actually." _I thought it'd be harder to convince her._ "Would you like to try another spell? There are plenty less-dangerous options." _That doesn't sound a lot better._

"What kind of spells?" he asked, surprising himself a little.

"Well, there's a spell for making a girl think she's a boy." _How the hell is that less dangerous? If I did that to Kyou, she'd walk right into the restroom!_ He had a thought.

"Is there one for making a boy think he's a girl?"

"Absolutely!"

"Okay, get Sunohara to think he's a girl. He probably won't pick up on the fact that he's trying to hide it, so I'll have to tell him that everyone thinks he's a guy, except myself and Mitsurugi."

"Right away, what's his new name?"

"Mei." _Lucky they had that feature. He'll be dumb enough to think he just has amnesia or something._ "Thanks, Miyazawa," he said, leaving to find his friend. _I totally forgot to ask her if she's connected to gangs in any way. Oh, well, this'll be funnier._

It was the end of the day, but it appeared Sakagami had something to say to him, waiting by the school gate as she was. _I hope Sunohara didn't challenge her to anther fight._

"Hey, Okazaki," she said, waiting for him to get close. _It's something she wants to say quietly, then._ "Thanks for helping me get out of there without being seen."

"Well, the girl outside, she was Furukawa. She went looking for you, so she probably figured that it was you in there. She's not going to tell anyone, though."

"That's nice of her," the presidential candidate observed. "But, that's her general nature. She's always caring and helpful." _Well, I guess I haven't seen anything that would go against that…_

"I guess she is. I don't really know her, though." It seemed better not to ask anything about her, though, since he guessed Sakagami would repeat it, and he could not very well ask her not to repeat it. They started walking off in the same direction and he slung his bag over his shoulder.

"Oh, do you have any idea why your friend was getting on to me for beating up a girl?"

"No," he lied. "Well, not that he told me. I would guess that he's trying to get back at you in some way. Does it really matter if a girl beats up another girl?"

"It does if she's running for president of the student council." She sighed. "Do you like these trees?" she asked.

"Yeah. They're pretty." In truth, he had not thought much of them, but they had an odd significance in his mind. _I feel like a broken record wondering if I'm seeing an old memory again._ "Do you like them?"

"I'm running because I want to save them." She gave a sad smile. "I guess that makes me a single-issue candidate, at least in my heart."

"That's okay; I'm a single-issue voter. I vote for whichever candidate is the cutest." _It isn't as if anyone takes the student council seriously at this point._

"Oh," Sakagami responded. "Well, that's okay. You don't have to vote for me." She looked away. "I shouldn't get so upset; it is not as if I expected to have a hundred percent of-"

"No, I'm still voting for you." He did not need to look at her face to see it go pink for a moment, but he did all the same. "I don't even know who the other candidates are. Do you?"

"I know one of them, but…" She looked back at the trees as the flush faded. "Do you really think I'm cute? Your friend keeps treating me like… well, like he would any other guy. I know I probably give the impression that I wouldn't be sensitive about that sort of thing, but I am. That's a girl thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, generally." They had reached the street, but the girl was still following him. _Well, it's better she knows I'm going to Sunohara's place. She'll probably never take it upon herself to go wake him up again. Come to think of it, that might be why he's upset with her._ "I know some guys who are really trying to show off how manly they are. There's nothing weird about you wanting to be feminine."

"What if I'm only trying so hard because it doesn't come naturally to me?"

"Well how would anyone else ever find out? How can they tell the difference between a naturally girly girl and a girl who tries to be girly?" They stopped, their paths diverging. "I'm going to the dorm."

"I know." Sakagami again looked like she wanted to say something. "Do you…" Tomoya cocked his head. "Never mind. It's not important." They parted with a few niceties.

As he went into the dorm, he carried a suspicion the girl was worried about that sort of thing because she was normally taciturn and formerly started fights a lot, neither behavior considered terribly feminine, nor good for her chances of being elected in and of themselves. There was nothing for it, though; there was no use worrying. If she had shaved her hair off as a child, she would have to grow it back one day at a time.

Sunohara was waiting outside the dorm.

"Okazaki… you know how you said I was supposed to pretend I was a girl pretending to be a guy?" He nodded, following the blonde boy inside. "Well, I may have let it slip a few times."

"What, that you were a girl or that you were a guy?" He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. The seed of doubt is planted." It took them only a few minutes to find his room. It was mostly clean already, but it seemed his friend was intent on having it spotless, setting down his things and scrubbing the table.

"Well, isn't it a bad thing that people think that?" he asked.

"Ship's sailed; don't worry about it. You can't really lose now, since no one will hold you to any kind of standard." _Can't really win, either, but you weren't going to._ "Don't actually tell anyone, though. If it gets spread around too much, someone will remember something."

"Oh. Right." They had avoided making eye contact with anyone as they went into the building, so it was not certain Mitsurugi was around. Tomoya figured the dorm mother was around somewhere, but it seemed silly to expect to see her every time she walked in. On the other side of the table, Sunohara had taken a break from cleaning to finish making tea, getting out two cups.

"It's not poisoned, is it?" he asked as it was poured.

"Well, no, why would it be? This is what I always do when someone comes over, and besides, no one has beaten me up in days… well, except Sakagami… who does she think she is, anyway?" _Well, you seem more upset than I expected._ "She's not even that cute."

"She's cute in a way. You have to look past her history, I guess, but she's still pretty." _I guess you haven't seen how she acts when she's not fighting some random idiot attacking her. It's probably also not that cute to drag the same idiot out of bed._ "She'll be over the moon the next time she comes over here and sees what you've done with the place."

"She doesn't come over here anymore. If she's just too naïve and sensitive to deal with one of her students, then she's not qualified to be student council president. She's probably never had a boyfriend, either."

A knock on the door could be heard, but before Sunohara could even admit whoever was there, it opened. Tomoya half expected Sagara, but it was Mitsurugi. _I guess opening the door right after knocking doesn't give anyone inside enough time to change._

"How's rugby?" he asked on a whim.

"It's going okay. There's going to be a north wind this Saturday when we have a scrimmage." It was doubtful that he had come to discuss the sport.

"Oh, and that's useful because you're trying to play against the wind." He happened to know from somewhere that the ball could not be thrown in a forward lateral, even if the wind carried it forward. It did not seem like an out-of-place memory, though he still had no idea where he picked it up. The player seemed a bit impressed but said nothing about that. Instead he focused on Sunohara for a moment, who sat on his hands on the opposite side of the low table.

"Would… would you like some tea?"

"It's okay, Mei… he knows already." He could have sworn he saw a squirm as he spoke. He had never seen his friend this uncomfortable. _He must be unsure of how to act. The guy thinks he's a girl who's been pretending to be a guy for years._

"So, why'd you do it?" Mitsurugi asked.

"Well… uh, it was kind of like what Tomoya said earlier… uhh, he's Tomoya, he would have introduced himself as Okazaki… I really did want to get beaten up. Sorry. I guess what I wanted more than anything, though, was attention. I wasn't really that feminine as a little girl, and people made fun of me for it. Then something weird happened. Someone actually mistook me for a boy, and called me, well something that wouldn't have been very nice. It probably would have been embarrassing for a real boy, but, well, it made me feel girly. Not being able to pass as a boy, well I know that doesn't actually make me look like a cute girl, but, well, it felt that way. Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

"Uhh… yeah, kind of." _He gets the words you're saying; he just can't relate. There's a difference._ "So do you act like a girl when no one's around?"

"I do my best. My old clothes no longer fit me, and I stopped buying dresses at some point. I can't keep two wardrobes." Sunohara gestured to a collection of manga on the shelf. "You wouldn't notice, but that's _Girl's Life in a Boy's World_ , the original 1989 version. Other than that, I try to keep it limited… you know, if someone barges in here all of a sudden."

"Sorry." The rugby player had knocked but knocking was only an excuse. "I'll make sure to… I'll get people to leave you alone."

"Well, that isn't necessary… I do like them, I just don't want to deceive that baseball player like I deceived the rest of you. It's, well, it's not that it's all that different, but I felt bad about using you like that, and I feel like he and I are kindred spirits."

"Why do you like getting beaten up?" Mitsurugi asked. _You didn't ask when you thought he was gay._

"Well, it kind of goes back to feeling feminine, but, since I dress up as a boy, I- it's hard to say it- I don't get a lot of sexual attention, so feeling small and helpless as I get tossed between a bunch of strong arms… don't make me say it. That you think I'm a boy, well, it's kind of like the safety rail on a roller coaster, so my reptile brain can have fun while I'm consciously aware that nothing will actually happen."

The explanation was easily more convincing than anything Tomoya had been able to accomplish with the picture of Mei. He even generally considered himself a smooth talker. As soon as the rugby player was out of the room, he turned back to his friend, who was breathing a sigh of relief.

"What the hell man? Where the hell did you learn to act like that?"

"Well, you would know, you put me up to it!" Sunohara shouted back, in a voice much closer to his normal one. "Besides, if you read those-" He pointed back to the manga on the shelf. "-you'll find they're actually really good."


	8. The Plan

Tomoya found himself walking to school again, but he took a different route. He could stand being on time, but it would not do to be early. He went through a little neighborhood near the old school building. There was a woman watering plants outside her house talking with Furukawa, which had him wondering how they knew each other. He waited for the girl to leave but was close enough to catch the tail end of the conversation. It was about a wedding.

_Huh. What are the odds?_

"Hi, have you seen Yoshino around here?" he asked a few minutes later. It was a hunch, but he felt like he had to go with it. "My power bill's been, well, a little lower than I would have thought, and I wanted to see if there were any crossed wires."

"Oh, he's not here right now. He works almost all day, so we try to spend time with each other whenever he gets off."

"Oh. My parents had a situation like that once upon a time. My mother took hours that were on top of my father's hours so that she would be home by the time he came back." The woman made a sad smile, but the notion faded.

"Oh, I'm between jobs right now, so I really don't have to worry about that. I used to work as a teacher at your school." _She must know by the uniform._ "Did you see that girl that was here a minute ago? She's my last student who still goes there."

"Did you have a class of only one student?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. She's a little older than she looks, but I should say no more on the subject." She thought for a moment. "Well, she was not forced to repeat a year because of poor grades. I thought she was a good student."

"What did you teach? Why stop?" _I feel like I remember her face, at least_ …

"I taught art up until three years ago." _That tells me how old Furukawa is… and that I would never have had this teacher._ "I… well, I just couldn't keep going in to work after what happened to my younger sister."

"Fuko, right?" he asked without thinking.

"Did… Yusuke tell you?" It looked like something she would have rather kept quiet.

"Uh, no, I knew already. You can ask him."

"Well… how did you know? Do you have an older sibling?"

"Umm… you might find this hard to believe, but one of my friends practices fortune-telling." _Why am I lying? What's this feeling I get when I think of telling her the truth?_ "It's weird, and I didn't believe it at first, but she hasn't been wrong yet. She told me that Fuko's sister would be a happy bride to Yoshino."

"I… see…" the former teacher said, probably lying. "So, you knew enough to ask him about it when you ran into him, and now you've run into me. Well, to be honest, he and I have talked about getting married before, but, well, there are practical problems with it." She sighed. "We're not sure we're going to go through with it right away."

Tomoya blinked. _If there's any uncertainty, it's coming from her. Yoshino seems like the kind of guy to never have doubts about anything._

"Well, does he want to get married?" he asked. "It seemed like he did." The woman on the other side of the fence stopped watering. She appeared to be thinking.

"He does. He's a real romantic. To be honest, that's what drew me in."

"My name's Okazaki," he said, extending a hand over the fence. It was not taken, but somehow that was what he expected.

"Ibuki Kouko, though everyone still calls me Ibuki-sensei."

"Yoshino calls you that?" She laughed, not bothering to say anything about it.

"You should go to school; you'll be late. Don't think I don't know when the first bell rings. If they ever change anything at that school, I'll be cold in the grave."

He laughed as he walked off, but the idea gave him pause. He could have sworn he had been thinking the same thing only a few days ago, and this was a reliable feeling, not some fleeting notion. _That's right… I had a conversation with Furukawa before I realized who she was. She was worried about changes, but changes were all I wanted._

He had forgotten to ask about her, but his conversations ran on too long anyway. It was not his first clue that he had a problem with time-management. He had gone home and gone to bed a bit earlier than normal, in part because he was tired, having woken up early more than usual lately, and in part because of what Kotomi said a few days earlier. _I know she's jealous of me for having a living father, but that's only because she doesn't know what he's like. If she did, she'd at least see why I don't like being around him._ Avoiding him, however, seemed even more childish than it had before.

At school he was mostly in time for his first class, and it seemed there was a new presidential candidate being added to the ticket. _What a waste of time. Sakagami's easily the most recognized; people will vote for her because of that, even if they don't have any other reason._ Even if the whole thing were not a waste of time, it was a waste of time to run against her.

Fujibayashi approached him after the first class was over.

"Hi, Kyou," he said, trying to be polite for a change.

"Hi, Okazaki." He looked up. Something was out of the ordinary.

"Do you like Ryou? I've seen you two talking a few times and… well, if you do you had better recognize she's the best girl who's ever going to give you a chance, you know. I'm sorry I have to put it so bluntly, but you're a delinquent so I have to make sure you won't abuse her affection."

"You don't sound sorry," he said, putting down the book he had mostly been pretending to read. "I think she's nice. I don't really know her all that well, though." He wondered if she was trying to make up for what happened a few days ago. The girl seemed to think her sister was the object of all attention and affection, which was weird, since they were identical except in personality and style. Sometimes people just assumed Kyou was her older sister.

"Well, I won't repeat what she's told me about you, since it'll go to your head, but I think the two of you should go on a lunch date. It doesn't have to be anything serious." The last sentence filled him with an odd sense of relief. _Was I worried about what someone would think? I guess I could have been worried about what people in general would think._

"I mean, in that case, I guess we could do it. Is it tomorrow?" he asked. Tomorrow seemed like a good day.

"Well, someone's eager-" she started to say, cutting herself off. "Of course it's tomorrow. Oh, and… you're not dating anyone else, are you?"

There it was.

"Uh, well, no, I don't have any other dates." It seemed like most of his friends were girls, which was weird, since it was the opposite until just recently. It seemed like a few of them had a tenuous interest in him, but that could have been his mistake. Mostly girls were not willing to talk to him. _I guess they like me better when they get to know me._

"Good. Now our next class is starting, so pay attention. You're going to annoy Ryou if you don't have any prospects." He went along with it, though academics and the arts still appeared to be lost causes. There was some tiny chance he could get a more technical blue-collar job upon graduating if he had the grades for it, but those were the extent of his hopes while in class.

The day was uneventful until lunch, which he took out to the courtyard, where he met an unsavory character in an actual trench coat. It was painfully obvious he was trying to hide himself, but Tomoya decided to see what was up. _He'll probably just run off, so there's nothing to be lost._

"Hi, looking for someone?" he asked. The young man looked around a moment. He had a shaved head and a tough appearance.

"Miyazawa," he said quietly, though not quite at a whisper. "You know her?"

"I might." He took the opportunity to dig through his schoolbag. Oddly, he noticed the wooden star was missing. _I guess I could have taken it out at home, but I didn't see it lying around anywhere…_

"Well, if you're going to be difficult-" the stranger started back, digging through his own pockets to produce a few thousand yen. _That's more than I expected._

"You can't bribe me to just hand her over to-"

"No, we need her for something." He ran a hand down his face. "Look, you're not going to believe me. Just tell her that there's someone at the usual place who needs help. Tell her it was Sudou saying it." He paused. "It's Yu that needs help."

"Okay. I'll go find her and tell her that, but I can't guarantee she'll just run off to go find you." The gang member seemed to accept his explanation and ran off. _He's in a hurry. Maybe he thinks if she knows it's Yu, she'll come running- whoever he is._

He had half a mind to hand the information to Kotomi, since he still needed to pay her back, but his decision to go to Miyazawa first was made irrelevant when he found them both in the reference library. They appeared to be annoyed with each other.

"Okazaki, tell her magic is real," the usual resident said as soon as he closed the door.

"I don't know that. It might be real. Why don't you cast a spell on her?"

"She _claims_ that if I don't believe it's real, then I'll interpret the effects as something that happened coincidentally," the other girl explained, annoyed. "That's exactly what happens when something isn't real."

"Oh, and Sudou's looking for you at 'the usual place', wherever that is. Apparently Yu needs your help."

Miyazawa's eyes widened. She stood up and pushed in her chair. Her expression then returned to normal, as if nothing had happened.

"I'll only be gone for… I don't know, probably no more than two classes. In the meantime, please cast a spell on your friend." She practically ran out the door. _How did she know we were friends? Did I come up in conversation?_

"What was that?" Kotomi asked.

"I'm not exactly sure myself. I don't know this 'Sudou' character. He just wanted me to pass on a message, so I did it."

"You told me yourself that you know that she is involved with a gang- that's why I was down here. I looked all over for her yesterday until some girl told me that she's always in the last place I would think to look." The violinist was onto him. "I know there's something going on."

"I'll tell you what I know if you let me try to cast a spell on you." He just needed some sort of compromise, something where it would seem like he was standing between Miyazawa and his old friend. She agreed, if after staring at him for a moment.

They found something in the book that would make a boy fall in love with her, but she objected since there were other possible explanations. The next idea was one that would tell her about her future, but she objected since it would not make the book easier to falsify. At long last he took the book and flipped the pages rapidly until he pretended to find something that would take away her skill with a musical instrument.

"Why would anyone want that?"

"It's just a mean thing to do to a friend. There's a way of undoing it, but it's a little complicated." She rolled her eyes but went along with it.

"Fine. I'm not worried about losing my abilities. I'll even prove that I still have them."

The spell was cast.

As he went back to class, his mind turned back to the missing wooden star. It meant virtually nothing to him; it was not even well-made, but it was one of those things that ate at him. He could hardly afford to be doubting his own memories, especially not ones that were so recent. _I know I dumped my bag out when I got home once. I don't know if I ever put it back in. That seems like the most likely place I would have lost it._

Perhaps the victim of a guilty conscience, he ran into Fuko in the hallway once class let out. It seemed impolite not to say anything.

"Hi."

"Hi. Are you excited for the wedding?" she asked. Her voice seemed to be demanding a specific response. "There's going to be all kinds of fun things there, like music and dancing and starfish…" she zoned out, apparently dazzled by the very thought of a tidepool organism. Her trance ran longer than expected. _I could do whatever I wanted._ He took the carving knife she had in her hand.

"You alright there?" he asked, noticing her start to wake up. "You nearly stabbed yourself with this thing."

"Fuko did not." She extended a hand as if it would be so easy to get him to return her tool.

"Then how did you get those bandages on your hand?" he asked, only just noticing them. The strange girl drew her hand back.

"Those are unrelated. If you're coming to the wedding, give me back my carving knife. Otherwise I'll ask my sister not to let you in." She jumped and tried to grab the knife. "I'll tell her you did something lewd."

"Well, how did you learn there was going to be a wedding? I went to go talk to your sister and she didn't seem so sure about it. I talked to Yoshino as well."

"They're going to get married because… because… if they don't, they'll disappoint all the people I invited to their wedding," she said. _It doesn't seem like she just thought of it now… that was just something that was hard for her to say._

"Oh, so you're holding their reputations hostage, aren't you? That's clever. I'll have to tell them about their badly-behaved little sister before she can do any more harm."

"No!" she groaned, throwing her arms around him as if to keep him in place. "You can't…"

"I'm only joking," he confessed. "I wasn't going to tell them anything about you in the first place. I want them to have a wedding." He crouched down to eye level. "…and I fully support your use of every dirty trick you know."

He went back to class and had an uneventful rest of the day. To be honest, he was looking forward to the following day, to going on a date with Ryou, whatever that meant. In his parents' day, going on a date could be a social thing; a girl didn't have to think about the next twenty years of her life just to go to a restaurant with a guy for an hour. _Well, that was only for a little while. Before that, the situation was the same as it is now._

At the dormitory that afternoon, since Kotomi was busy with something again, probably following Miyazawa on the tip he gave her about the park and how Sudou ran off in that general direction, he ran into Sagara, the dorm mother. She had a forlorn expression.

"Hi."

"Oh, hi, Okazaki. Ever since you've come here, things have calmed down a lot. I think even Sunohara's stopped blasting music from his room." _He might just be going along with it for Mitsurugi's sake. Girls are too self-conscious to do that sort of thing._ "I can't say I approve of the way you handled things, but ultimately it seems to have worked out."

"Why do you have that look, then?"

"Oh, it's something that happened a long time ago. I complain about the more boisterous residents, but the truth is I like being around students and young people because I was young once, and there are a lot of good memories around here." Tomoya felt like he had to say something.

"You're pretty young. Aren't you still in your twenties?" Sagara smiled.

"Oh, hush you. I don't even know why I'm telling you this." _I'll be honest; I don't know why I'm asking. It could be a memory, though._ "I used to want to get married, and now it's starting to look like I'm past that." She did not look to be anywhere near past it, but she also did not look to be up for discussion on the subject. He left her with his observation that she still had plenty of time and went off to find Sunohara's room.

As he reached the door he half-expected there to be a mess again, but if the spell really worked like it might have, the occupant would probably place a higher value on having a clean, orderly living space. The thought disturbed him slightly. _Maybe I went too far with that. I've been doing things on a whim, and it's going to catch up to me sooner or later._

_No, I'm not worried; it's Sunohara._

Opening the door, he found the place covered in signs, posters, and a blonde boy in a dress.

"Okazaki! You're just in time to help me with my campaign speech! You're looking at the next student council president!"

Tomoya was dumbstruck. He managed to figure out what was going on, but the reason why escaped him. The idea of Sunohara running against Sakagami was madness.

"Why?!" he asked. "Why do you want to be president?"

"I don't really. I just wanted to show that I could beat Saka-"

"You _can't_ beat Sakagami! You've been late almost every day of school this year, your test scores are abysmal, and you have no friends."

Sunohara made an obnoxious pout.

"That's why I'm not running as myself." _That explains the dress, I suppose._

"Then it's not _you_ beating Sakagami! It's just some random girl." He was trying to keep his voice down, but it was hard. In his recollection, his friend had never done anything quite so stupid.

"I'm not some random girl, I'm Sunohara Mei-"

"-like no one's going to see through that one-" he interrupted, flopping down on the floor.

"- and the point was to show that anyone can beat her. She's not feminine enough to gain the hearts of the male voters or the respect of the female voters."

"-and you are?!"

"Stop shouting. You'll scare the birds away." He set some cups out as if he were about to pour tea. "I'm not the most feminine in the world, but more feminine than she is. If I can beat her at the game she's playing, then I'll win."

"She's not playing that game. She has policies and ideas-"

"That's not why anyone's voting for her. I asked three guys on the hallway and they said they're only voting for her because she's pretty. I figure I can at least beat her at that. I can probably even get a boyfriend."

"No one would believe you were a girl, dumbass. Mitsurugi's not going to go out with you if everyone would think he's gay. You're also an idiot, so he's not going to go out with you anyway."

"That's why I'm adopting this false identity. No one will know that I've been pretending to be a boy this whole time."

"They'll have no way to connect Sunohara Youhei with Sunohara Mei? That's just too stupid, even for you. Are you pretending to be your own younger sister?"

"Of course. It'll be a whole year before she's in high school, and by then I'll be gone."

"So, you're telling Mitsurugi that you want to go out with him, but still be allowed in the dorm." Tomoya sighed. "So you'll be acting like you usually do at school, but under a different name, so I guess the teachers will think you just dropped dead or something if that even works."

"I'm not telling him that- you are." He responded with an unamused expression. "You lied to him and I can prove it. He wouldn't be impressed if I went over there and showed him my dick."

"That's because no one would be impressed. He'd probably beat the shit out of you, and forget I existed. I don't live here, dumbass." Sunohara seemed to pause to consider it.

"Oh, wait, you're right… Well, I'll tell him myself. That's a better explanation than the one I came up with anyway."

"I don't even want to ask. Don't even think about asking me to help campaign with you. This is absolutely stupid, and there's no way it's going to work for a second."

He walked out and went home, annoyed. His friend was relatively good about doing the things he said he was going to do, to disastrous effect if need be, so he really had no doubt he would be seeing the campaign signs all over the place. _I'm not hanging out with that idiot. I got him to a fragile peace with the people who live in his dorm, and he's going to throw it all away._

Tomoya did not want to go home, but there was nowhere else to go. _It's just as good to get home early and go to bed before my father gets home. Well, I could at least appear to be in bed._ Just as he arrived at the door, however, he saw his father coming from the other direction. _Damn, now he's probably seen me. He'll probably assume I came home early on purpose since he has to have realized I've been coming home late to avoid him._

He resigned himself to talking for a few minutes and took the opportunity to look around for the wooden star. It felt a little bad to say he lost the wedding invitation, especially after he learned it had been hand-carved, however much of a hack job it was. Oddly enough, he found it sitting on the table, when he could have sworn it had not been there before. He was looking at it right as his father came in.

"Oh, there you are. I found that a few days ago. Did you make it?"

"No, it was… a friend who made it." It seemed weird to just leave it at that. "It's a wedding invitation."

"Oh, I love weddings. Who is getting married? When I was your age, a few of the girls in my year were already married."

"Well, it's an old teacher… everyone calls her Ibuki-sensei still." _It's not so much of a problem that I don't know her given name. It'd be more of an issue if I didn't know her family name._ "I only know of her as Fuko's older sister, really."

It was the end to a short conversation, and it was less painful than he had dreaded, but that did not make the past few years disappear into thin air. It was worth considering how much of a role he had played in getting his father to stop caring about him as a son by constantly ignoring him and acting like he had no need of him, but there was nothing for it. The fact that he was treating his father like the other litigant in a civil trial, determining where there was fault to be found, meant things had already gone too far to be fixed.


	9. Interfering in Fights

The following morning, he went to school as always, but he passed by the Furukawa bakery. Perhaps he thought that by glancing in on her parents, he would learn a little more about the mysterious girl he was meant to avoid. Somehow the discomfort from his old memories was steadily being overridden, and if he were telling the truth, it frightened him. He felt that ultimately, having the memories was good, and even though it made sense for them to be replaced as he made changes, it felt like losing his guide.

The bakery was mostly empty, since the girl had just left for school, and it seemed the father was not around. _I might as well._ He went inside.

"I'm sorry for saying your bread was bad the other day. I didn't know you would run out in the street like that." The shopkeep gave a soft smile.

"It's fine. I know who I am. I'm Nagisa's mother, and I'm sensitive to the slightest thing. Besides, that was ancient history. I've become much better at baking since then- Akio keeps telling me how good it is." _So her husband keeps puffing her up. If she cries at the slightest criticism, she has to at least believe him a little when he praises her._ He paused. _This is normally called a vicious cycle._

"Is she sensitive as well?" It seemed like a good place to start.

"Our daughter is very strong. We raised her not to cry unless she's with only us." All of a sudden it seemed like a deeply personal matter. "She can feel things just like everyone else, but she's very determined."

"What does she want? If she's determined, what is it that…"

"She wants to tell her story. Somehow she's known what her story is from when she was a little girl, and she wants to live it out." Sanae looked at the clock. "Well, it's better if you go off to school. It's nice to know my daughter has friends, but we were always confident in her."

He was as glad to be out of there as he was confused as to why he bothered in the first place. He had been having a few awkward conversations in the past few days, but this one crossed a few lines. It was a personal question he had no business asking, and he was sure it was going to get back to him. _She's going to think I'm interested in her, and she's going to see me on a lunch date with Ryou today. That's just great. It's really great._

At school he was in class before the first bell.

It was a real first for him, as Kotomi commented between classes when he found her in the library. She seemed to be taking it as a good sign, or possibly something he was doing for her, though Tomoya did not share this belief. In either case, it was good that she would be available that evening to help him work on the paper. He had been intermittently studying English grammar whenever he felt like it. Fortunately, the composition would not have to be some kind of masterclass in analysis or even in use of language, but two things would have to be clear: that he had a good grasp of writing in English and that he understood the book. At the present he would not swear to either.

His classes before lunch went by as classes always went by, and he made a reasonable effort to look at the books if he would not read them. Perhaps he appeared desperate for no reward, but it seemed like a better use of his time than dwelling on all the other things that fought to occupy his mind. Fuko and her star were getting to be a distant notion, somehow his understanding of who she was and what she was trying to do were being overridden by the forlorn look everyone seemed to have when they spoke of her. _Does it have to do with the other memories that seem to be behaving this way?_

Lunch was upon him and he nearly forgot he had a date, but Ryou seemed to expect it. She told him that they would be out in the courtyard, and he followed her out, seeing Kyou out on a picnic blanket. _Well, this is going to look weird._

"Hi, Okazaki," she said, almost politely. "I see you've managed not to harass my sister all the way out here." _How does she manage to say that like it's nothing?_ He sat down, doubting he would ever figure it out. The other Fujibayashi looked embarrassed, but perhaps she was used to it at this point. "I'm only joking, Ryou. This one knows how lucky he is to be going on a date with you."

"Ahh… okay." It seemed like one of those remarks that filled up space. Perhaps she had learned to acknowledge her sister's inappropriate jokes in a way that did not tie herself to them. Kyou was getting something out of a bento. "She really put a lot of effort into these," her sister whispered. Her voice sounded entirely different at that volume. "She was almost up all night making them."

"Wow, she really wants this to go well," Tomoya responded. The food looked delicious, which surprised him. Somehow he had expected the other girl would monopolize the feminine skills, but by her own confession, she was nowhere near as good. _Well, that's a refreshing change of pace. You just need to tell Kotomi she isn't good at the violin and Sanae that her bread is awful._ He chucked to himself. Even he would have difficulty saying something that impolite; there was literally no way Ryou could do it.

Her sister seemed to want them to find out more about each other, so he gave her enough details to give her at least a cursory idea of his life. Her response told him a little more than he expected, but perhaps she was comfortable with Kyou around. The two of them had a good family situation, and a secret pet boar named Botan. Ryou received a scowl for mentioning him, but it faded quickly.

"Oh, well, as long as you're dating now, he might as well know. My sister and I have a pet, but our parents don't know and we can't take him to school." The other girl seemed a bit confused.

"Um… isn't he mostly your pet?" she asked. "If I remember correctly, you picked him up and danced around gushing about how cute he was. He was pretty dizzy after that, and he might have thrown up on you, but you said wild animals don't throw up, so we agreed it must have been a sign of affection." _What kind of agreement would that have been? Did she just glare at you like she's doing now?_

The food, in all fairness, was delicious. Home-cooked meals were mostly an alien concept to him, and everything from the egg over rice to the octopus hot dogs was prepared surpassingly well. Apparently the Fujibayashi family valued passing traditional skills along, but for some reason Ryou just did not take to them as well as Kyou, who herself was really only concerned with cooking, neglecting flower arrangement, sewing, and the service of tea. _I could start to understand how in that kind of home, a girl having a pig as a pet would be the last straw. She's probably about as rebellious as they'll allow her to be without kicking her out._

Honest with himself, Tomoya could hardly deny he was interested in both the sisters, but 'the older one' was decidedly less cute, even if she had the confidence to carry on a normal conversation. _Can't they just share confidence? Or average it?_ Somewhere in real life, Kyou was asking what was in the cards for the three of them.

"Well…"

"What are the cards?"

"Well… that's easy, it's a seven, an eight, and a nine of hearts. I'm just still thinking about how to interpret it." _Don't the interpretations have to be set? Otherwise you're just telling yourself what will happen._

"Take your time. What do you think it means, Okazaki?" she asked with a glare.

"How could I possibly say anything lewd about that? What are you imagining that's lewd that you don't want-" Ryou cut him off.

"Oh! I know! They'll all happen in order. It's the natural order of things." She seemed to speak more confidently about matters of fortune telling. _How is she more confident in an occult way of seeing the future than what's right in front of her?_

"So, seven is something that's going to happen first."

"Yes. It's a little expression of love. After that, there will be a bigger one, and then, those two people will be in love." For the subjectivity of what she was saying, she seemed to be quite sure of it. _She's not talking about herself._

There it was again. It was a memory, and he was trying to hold onto it, even as the bell rang signifying the end of lunch. He absently helped them pack up, thanking Kyou for the meal without meeting her eyes. _I know how I know this, but what does it mean? Why would Ryou say something like that?_

From the sound of it, it was a guy expressing love, as corny as that sounded, a surprising reciprocation, and then a happy ending, like in some kind of choose your own adventure story. _Well, was the girl waiting for the guy to say something, and then as soon as he said it she can tell him she loves him? I know I'm the guy, but if she isn't the girl, then it has to be…_

Barely paying attention even in English class, he wondered where he was getting the notion that Kyou liked him. He had heard of it, somewhere, that girls would be really annoying around guys they liked, but they had to get past that after the age of six or something. It was ridiculous to read attraction out of her constant threats of physical violence, which he generally knew better than to reciprocate. Even if he were alone and could probably get away with it, it felt cowardly to actually be concerned that she would hurt him.

Between classes he saw a handful of signs for a 'Sunohara Mei' for president of student council. There was absolutely no platform, just a bunch of doctored photos. _How the hell did he even learn to do that?_ He ripped several of them off a bulletin board and moved on.

Nishina Rie's voice could be heard while he was taking a walk in after his last classes were over. She sounded like she was getting better, though there was nothing inherently special about her voice. When he heard Harada sing, he could tell she was talented, and not just skilled. Another girl stepped outside for a moment, one whose name he did not know.

"Have you seen Komoura anywhere?"

"I saw him in class."

"He's our advisor…" the girl pointed back in the direction of the club room. "We're the choral club."

"That's cool." _You're not getting anything until you tell me why you want him._

"Anyway, there's this bitch claiming to be an idol. It's annoying." The language surprised him, but he remembered their club leader was a 'speak her mind' sort of girl, so perhaps it rubbed off on the other members. What confused him was her expression. She seemed a little more than annoyed. "We'd like for him to arrange an open-invitation singing competition. You don't get to be a singing idol without training, and if you had talent, we'd have heard about you."

"Okay. I think I can help you with that."

It was an unusual request, to be sure, but the open-invitation competition would give Kotomi another chance to volunteer her violin skills. From Sugisaka, the girl with whom he was just talking, he learned that Nishina was actually really nice to her, coming up with excuses to not listen to her playing. Apparently, it was the opposite of what he had expected, and the club president was a generally sweet girl, and it was her subordinate influencing her to be more assertive.

"Harada gave her what she needs to sing. I gave her what she needs to be a leader."

The statement stayed with him as he went to find Koumura. He supposed he was just surprised she was taking the club so seriously. _I don't even take school seriously. Sunohara doesn't take anything seriously, except being petty, or that's what it seems like._

He found the Ancient Literature teacher between his office and a classroom where some students were effectively in detention, one of them being Mitsurugi. _What did he do? I hope he doesn't get kicked off the team because of this._ The advisor for the club agreed as quickly as could be expected to abandon the detained students to go see about his favorite students, as he described them. Tomoya's focus narrowed as the old man went down the hall. _Of course they're his favorite students._

"Hey, Okazaki. Are you in here too?" someone asked. He might have known the student from athletics, but that would have been years ago. "What did you do?"

"No, not today. They haven't caught up to me about my absences yet," he answered, unable to resist the temptation to boast about it. "They let me do a remedial assignment to catch up in English." _That reminds me. I should go outside, because Kotomi will be at the gate in a few minutes._ "What did you do?"

"Well, we were kicked off the regular field for rugby practice, so we went to a park. Thing was, there was already this big group of guys there." Tomoya nodded. He understood. There was an unspoken convention that if someone else was using the field, they could be played for it. "We offered to play, but, well, there was this guy who said it wouldn't be fair, since games were for children, so we'd be better at them." _It's easy enough to infer that it was enough for you to switch to their preferred method of deciding things._

"You lost the fight."

"There were more of them. Quite a few were damn good in a fight." He paused. "Fight didn't really end; we just heard the police coming and ran for it. The school couldn't lose the whole rugby team just like that, so they threw us in here until they decide what to do with us."

"It'd be bad if they heard about any other fights on your record, wouldn't it?" he asked.

"Sunohara's not going to tell anyone we beat him up. He's told several people that he never loses in fights. He's even told people he's beat us."

"Oh, no, I wasn't threatening you. I know why you did it. It's just something you want to keep in mind."

Out at the school gate he ran into Kotomi as expected. She asked him if there had been something holding him up, and he said no, not wanting to give her the idea he would make his appointments on the exact time come hell or high water. Shrugging, she politely told him that she had not been waiting long.

At her house, she tested his general knowledge of English, and she said he could basically write a passing paper as long as someone else looked at it after. _Is that you volunteering?_ The matter remaining to be determined was his understanding of the book, which he had not entirely convinced her he had read. He figured the easiest thing was to pick a scene from the middle and ask a question about it. If he played his cards well, he could write the whole paper on that.

"I was kind of confused about the fight, the one where that guy died. Were they going to jail if they got caught?" he asked.

"Well, it's more complicated than that. In America they could make the argument they were defending themselves, and if it worked they would not have anything applied to their criminal records. There's some doubt that anyone would have believed them, though, since their enemies would be providing their own account of what had happened. Those guys were respected students with real prospects. They were going to college and they all had both parents."

Tomoya fought the temptation to hang his head. Being accused of a crime was almost a death sentence in Japan; the conviction rate was around ninety percent. Even if someone could get out of being arrested, his reputation would be ruined, but that was only if he had a reputation to lose. Someone like himself would be a suitable sacrifice for a baseball star with a scholarship if the two of them ever got in a fight.

"So, they ran because they didn't like their chances. What were they going to do? Keep running forever? Would that be worse than their lives being ruined?"

"It was better than being in prison. Their friend was checking up on them every so often, and presumably he would tell them when the police had stopped looking for them, or perhaps when it came out that they had only been defending themselves."

"Why didn't they just move to a different town?"

"The gang wasn't going to move," Kotomi answered. "I guess it's hard to understand if you're not in a gang. Well, I'm not either, but I've read about them. In the story, it was the gang that helped Ponyboy when he was jumped at the beginning, and then they helped when he and Johnny were on the run."

"Okay, well, sure, but weren't they only attacked because they were members of the gang?" he asked. "Maybe they would have been better off leaving it behind."

"They were presumed to belong to the gang by their social standing. They never formally joined, either. The other boys in the gang had always been friends of theirs, and defending each other came naturally. They probably never realized they were in a gang until their first few fights."

"If they hadn't been in a gang, then the judge wouldn't have ever believed they were looking for a fight with the other gang. If they had just gone to the police and told them what happened, they would have had an even better case. Is everyone in the book an idiot?" he asked.

His friend responded, at first, with only a soft smile.

"One of the major themes is youth. They're not really thinking about their futures or trying to be upstanding citizens; they're just acting their age. You're hardly the best example for being concerned about your life."

"Well, I know I'm not. The characters aren't supposed to be role models; fine. Why is it that youth is a good thing, then? I mean, sure, they don't have to do anything, you wouldn't think they had to worry about anything, but then it just shows up and kills them anyway. Why is youth celebrated?"

"That's not something I can tell you," Kotomi answered at length. "I wrote my paper about the character growing up without parents because I understood it. I didn't have any other family, and maybe some people would say that it's better than having your older brothers drop out to support you, but, well, I couldn't help but think it would be worth a try. I wrote about the connection that Ponyboy has with his brothers; how they would do anything for him." She sighed. "You haven't finished yours, have you?"

"I've written a little of it. I was hoping I could pick a scene and focus on that, but I'm still having trouble understanding any of the ones we've gone over." He handed her what he had written at her wordless prompting.

"Your English isn't terrible. You just need to find something to use as a central thesis." Tomoya was under no illusions he would receive any specific help. He had annoyed his friend with his lack of concern, lack of effort, and lack of understanding. The very least he could do would be to actually do the assignment, if for no other reason than to reward her faith in him.

"Thank you," he said, getting up. "I really mean it; I know I haven't made it easy on you." He left her to the rest of her work as he walked outside. He had other work himself, which he mostly did at this point, but he hardly set time apart for it. If no other teacher threatened to fail him, he would at least graduate with the amount of effort he currently put into things.

He decided to go to the dormitory before going home, which would give him some insight into whether or not his friend had given up his fool's errand. Failing that, he felt a slight obligation to talk him out of it. The presidential campaign was almost certainly going to end in complete disaster, both for Sunohara, and Mitsurugi if he got roped in with it. Oddly enough, it was the rugby player who greeted him as soon as he came to the door.

"Do you know where Sagara went?" he asked.

"No. I don't live here," Tomoya said. "I talk to her sometimes, but to be honest I don't know what her deal is."

"That's most girls, Okazaki. You can't understand them. Just do your best to do right by them." _That's odd. I wouldn't have thought you regarded the dorm mother that way._ Most of the time, the sort of standards guys had for the girls in their classes did not also apply to adults. "Have you thought about what you're going to do when you get out of here?"

"There's only one guy I know I could maybe ask for a job." _Well, that's if I qualify. The work didn't look impossible, but that doesn't mean they'd hand it to me._ They started walking into the dormitory, probably headed for Sunohara's room.

"I've got a few friends whose parents own small businesses in town. When I graduate, I'll probably ask one of them for a job." _I guess it's not too surprising you're not going to go professional with rugby. Even if you're good at it, you'd have to be a monster to make a real team in Japan._

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea," he said at length. "So, what did you need with Sagara?"

"I was going to ask her if it was okay if there were a concert near the dorms."

"There's a rule against that?"

"Well, no, there's no rule against it, but…" Mitsurugi looked around. It was odd seeing someone so large acting sneaky. "You know how she is about noise. I don't want to give her a headache over something like this."

"I see," he lied. "Well, I think we might be able to find her in the laundromat at this time of day." _Why would there be a concert near the dorms?_

"I checked there."

"Oh, right, of course- well, have you checked the kitchen?" _The dormitory has a small, functional kitchen she uses to make dinner every night for the whole residency, if need be. It's one of her main jobs. I just wish I knew where I encountered that information the first time._

"No. I was sort of hoping she wouldn't be in there, so I wouldn't bother her." _Well, that makes sense at least. He's probably pretty hungry most nights, so bothering the cook seems like a bad idea._ "I've checked most places. I was thinking she might have been up at the school."

Officially, Sagara did not handle disciplinary matters; she was supposed to hand them off to the school and its leadership. Practically speaking, punishment was more effective if it was swift, so she relied on no one reporting her use of violence to keep the dorm in line. Every so often, however, when she had a small issue with a student, she would take it up to the school and let them think their decision changed his behavior entirely.

"If she was, I didn't see her." _I guess that explains why he thought I might have a better idea where she was._ "Let's check the roof."

"Has she said anything about going up there?" the rugby player asked.

"No, it just seems like somewhere she would go." They took the stairs and found themselves with a broadened perspective as they opened the door. There was a cat walking along the edge; its green eyes turned to look at them. It ran off, climbing into a tree.

"You can see pretty far up here."

"Yeah," Tomoya said, without much else on his mind. Perhaps he had been expecting the dorm mother to be staring wistfully out into the distance, pondering her mysterious past, whether it was still out there in the town that never changes. In any case, she was not there.

"I guess I'll catch her some other time. I was kind of hoping to run into her soon," Mitsurugi said. _I was expecting to run into her at some point, but I guess people don't always just stand around waiting for you to find them._ He stared out over the town thinking of its many, varied, people with their own lives, their own visions for the future.

"Well, there's nothing for it now. If you couldn't find her, then you're probably right; she doesn't need to be found."

"Well, we might as well tell Sunohara." They went back into the building and set off in the direction of his room. Perhaps they were bringing bad news, or no news, but he had his doubts his friend would be hit too hard by it. _Let's hope he's forgotten about pretending to be a girl- well, he has to keep it up with this guy, but…_

At the door, they knocked first before going in. A frilly voice gave them permission to enter. They opened it to find the room was even more filled with posters than before.

"Oh, I knew you'd be back soon!" Sunohara squealed as he threw his arms around the rugby player, who swiftly closed the door.

"Uh, please calm down," Mitsurugi suggested. "We don't know if we can set up the concert like you wanted. We might actually have to take them up on their offer."

"Drat!" the presidential candidate said, stomping his foot deliberately. Tomoya's mouth resisted the temptation to hang open at what he was watching unfold before him. _What the hell? Is he just really getting into character whenever his 'boyfriend' is around?_

Trying to take a break, he picked a poster off the floor, but it shocked him so much he dropped it again. It was a doctored image of Sunohara, making him look more like a girl in a dress. Again, he wondered how he learned to do that, but finding out seemed less worthwhile. _Are all of these the same?_

"What even is your plan if someone asks you to give a speech? Sakagami has at least three speeches written base on the context," he lied. It seemed better than anything else to discourage his friend. He dropped things easily when not actively being motivated. It was quite possible, that, left alone, he would forget about the campaign entirely.

"He's right," the rugby plater said. "You should have a speech. You need to tell everyone that your opponent is just jealous of you."

"She was already running! You were jealous of her!" Tomoya managed at a quiet scream.

"Well, we're not going to say that," Mitsurugi said. "We're trying to help Mei win here."

"I'm not! H-She'll be a disaster for the school. It's Sakagami's dream to be elected, and she has a real idea of what she's going to do as president."

"Since when do you care about the school?" Sunohara asked. "I thought we were both delinquents."

"Of course we are! We're delinquents, but we don't have to drag her down with us. She's got a real shot of having a career. She could even make it in politics."

"Well, if that's the case, then she should have no trouble winning against me," the blonde boy decided with a slight nod. "If you're not going to be helping this campaign, or worse, supporting the other campaign, then I'm afraid you can't be allowed into our discussions."

"I'm not going to feed information to the opposition," he groaned back. "Sakagami doesn't need my help. She doesn't need anything in the entire universe." _It would help put a stop to this campaign pretty quickly. I'm not opposed to having him hate me for a day or so, since it's not like he really cares anyway._

The two of them seemed to be coming up with a speech together, ignoring his responses almost entirely. He was confused as to why exactly the rugby player was even remotely willing to help a former enemy with such a frivolous plot. It was conceivable, at the least, that he could have been won over by the sympathetic explanation for having 'lied' about his gender the entire time.

It seemed the speech was mostly about making the school adorable, or at least the girls, and the candidate would be hearing out all requests as long as they came in the form of a date to some place with tablecloths. _Damn, if he wanted to pretend to be a girl, at least he's on the right track._

"Okay, but I just have one question. It's something that's been bothering me. What was with the concert?"

"Haven't you heard?" Sunohara asked, raising tow fingers to eye level. "I'm an idol!"


	10. Maturity

The revelation from last night was not surprising on retrospect; only Sunohara would do something as dumb as declaring himself an idol with no experience. Pop girls seemed like magical fairies that came out of nowhere, but the truth was most of them grew up as normal girls who could sing and decided to go down that route. Frequently, they dropped out of high school to start working in a group, were assigned a stage name, and kept at it for long enough to build a brand. After a few years, they could no longer masquerade as high school age girls, so they usually found a slightly different line of work until a relatively early retirement.

Nishina Rie and the other members of her club did not seem interested in that way of using their talents. He found himself talking with Harada briefly between his first two classes. She had been asking if there were any way she could help Sakagami's campaign, and he told her that the best thing she could do was beat her competitor in the upcoming invitational, which was what got them on the subject.

"Well, I don't know, it feels like I have to be serious about it. I would be wasting my talents otherwise…"

"You sound like you have some reservations."

"Nagisa says your talents are just yours. You can use them however you want, even if it's just singing to yourself." She smiled, likely thinking about it. Tomoya remembered Nagisa was the given name of Furukawa, and that it was somewhat more common for girls to use each other's personal names. "That might be her way of justifying that old, cutesy song… of course, she's a bit nervous herself."

"Is she going to be in the competition?"

"She's getting ready. If even she looks better than that self-proclaimed idol, then Sakagami has it for sure." _We can infer that you're a fan of hers._

In his succeeding classes he caught Ryou looking at him a few times and he smiled back at her. He did not really want to create the impression of anything serious, but he could not entirely say that he did not like her. It was easier to get along with her than Kyou, and somehow that was what he wanted more than the interest and appeal of a headstrong type. _Why am I thinking about all that, though?_

Between classes he ran into Miyazawa.

"Hey, is there any way to get rid of the curse I put on Sunohara?"

"Um, there might be, but that also might be one of the ones that has to run its course." She seemed to know it was not the answer he wanted. "Sorry. I can't do any better than the book."

"Okay, well, there was something else. Who even is Sudou? Is he a gang member? Who's Yu?"

"Well, Sudou and I both feel responsible for him." _That's right. She's avoiding the question because they're both involved with a gang._ "His older sister ran off once, and he came to us looking for her. Just recently, there was a rumor that Sasaki's gang had taken her prisoner, and he ran off without thinking through it," she explained quietly. "When we found him, well, he was in a bad way, but he won't say what happened to him."

It looked like Miyazawa did not want to speak more on the subject.

At lunch, he spotted another familiar face in the courtyard, though this time it belonged to Yoshino. He was having a word with Sakagami while fixing some light fixture. As Tomoya neared them, he finished what he was eating and looked around for Fuko. Her sister seemed to imply something had happened to her, and yet she was handing out stars in the school, which was odd. If they had no idea that she was there… it seemed like something easily corrected.

"I was also wondering about… well, do you know the trees on the path to the school?" the presidential candidate asked as he approached. Yoshino nodded.

"The cherry blossoms are one of the great beauties of our little corner of the world," he commented. "Yet the spring cannot last forever. Soon the petals that fall will all be swept away."

"Well, I was wondering if you might know any reason that they would be cut down. I've been hearing rumors about plans to remove them… and they're plans I want to derail." It seemed difficult for her to say what she wanted, but it was impossible to embarrass herself in front of this man. "The trees are important to my family… and to me."

"It is a sad thing that importance is relative, and nature and society are quite cruel in this way," the electrician responded at length. "Some say that an individual is quite powerless to protect anything important from the winds of change. Of course, as all things change, we have the seasons and the cherry blossoms in the spring."

"Sir, I… well, I know that everything changes, and sometimes change is good, but sometimes change is bad," Sakagami said. _There's also a difference between the seasons changing and cutting down trees. One of them has been going on a lot longer than the other._

"Things don't just change either," he added. "People make choices that change them. If the school can decide the trees aren't important, then we can decide that whatever it wants to do with the land isn't important."

"Perhaps, then, you should try," Yoshino responded. "Trying without knowing whether or not you will succeed is quite central to the human condition. I do hope you succeed, for your sake, but consider the sake of others. Perhaps they have good reasons for what is important to them. To your earlier question, I have not heard of any plans to develop the area, but you are right to suspect they would come through my company."

"Is that why you're in the area, because the school usually does business with your company?" Tomoya asked.

"No, I came to give this to you in case I ran into you," the worker said, tossing an envelope down from where he was sitting. _He must have calculated my compensation based on how much he normally gets in an hour._ Not wanting to take a look in it, because that might seem rude, he put it into his coat pocket, where it felt a little heavier than expected. _I always thought that kind of job hardly paid anything and I hardly did any work._

They said their thanks and goodbyes, since Yoshino had other work to do.

"Thanks for supporting… my argument," Sakagami said.

"It's nothing. It feels like every day I'm running into something I want to change, or something I want to stay the same. Did you hear about your competition?"

"I didn't know Sunohara had any relatives his age…" she started, trailing off. "Why would she just suddenly transfer in and run for student council? Did he suggest it to get back at me for something?"

"You're a lot closer than you realize." He sighed. "I won't bother telling you what he's planning, since you don't want to win like that, but, well, your competitor is probably going to tell everyone you're a guy in disguise."

"That's- that's terrible! I would never- Is she planning to just act so much more feminine than I do that I look androgynous by comparison?"

"At this point I'm not even sure it's an act. Well, enough of it is. Anyway, whatever you do, don't go down to that level. Don't try to be someone you're not."

"I think I see what you mean," she said. "We can talk more about this later. There is supposed to be a poll pretty soon." _That'll be good. It's probably all you need to get your confidence back. Best case, Sunohara gives up the whole thing._

Between his next two classes he found Kyou and asked her how she was voting. His curiosity was getting to him somehow. She gave a pursed frown before responding.

"Well, I'm voting for Sakagami, obviously, but Ryou is going against me."

"Why?"

"Well, she says that the other candidate is calling every girl who doesn't vote for her jealous."

"That seems like self-serving logic." _It's something he would do, though._ "Is she jealous?"

"Apparently, Mei has been here for all of a week and she already has a boyfriend, or at least that's what everyone is saying. He's… well, a lot of the girls have had an eye on him." She let out an exasperated sigh.

"Well, why shouldn't they be jealous? Even if they were jealous, why would that have to be the only reason they're not voting for- her?" _I'm getting better at stopping myself._ "Even if they did vote for Sakagami out of jealousy, they can do that and she can just get over it."

"Well, I can't believe I'm asking this, but could you go on a date with Ryou?" Kyou asked. "It wouldn't have to be somewhere you'd be seen- in fact, it'd be better if it were more private… but I think you asking her on a date would help her get her confidence back."

"You can't lend her half of yours?" he asked jokingly.

"No. I can't do that," the girl clarified. She turned back around after he started to go back. "-and that's because you can't just share confidence. It's not because of anything else."

He shrugged and took his seat in his classroom, right as the next class was starting. It was a history class, and they were going over the first world war. Essentially, it looked like the Great Japanese Empire saw that the Germans were losing their hold on their islands in the Pacific and joined the Allied Powers to capture them. They kept the islands after the war, so by all appearances it was a profitable arrangement.

History seemed somewhat less favorable than it was when he last paid any particular attention, but he expected the experience was more gradual for an invested student. He had no intention to study the subject, and it was one of the least interesting, as well as one of the ones where he did the worst. _Maybe if I were better at it, I'd have a better idea of what was going on in that book, though._

Tomoya had a moderate amount of confidence he would pass his finals, but in relative terms he would have to end up somewhere near the bottom. Even the students who were really into sports were studying, if for no other reason than being able to do well in higher education or because their parents were making them. He was aware of the amount of pressure some of them faced, even if he had never experienced it himself.

After classes were over he found himself glad he was not going home with Kotomi, since he had read no more of the book. Instead he found an empty classroom, where he could be sure no clubs would be holding meetings and picked a section out of the end to read. If his dubious notions of memory had helped him at all, perhaps he could work out most of what happened in the book from the ending.

It seemed that after the boy's friend died in a hospital, and his other friend died when the police shot him for waving a gun at everyone, he had an assignment to write if he wanted to pass in English. _This is too much of a coincidence._ Tomoya looked around, as though he would see someone who must have been watching him the whole time. He remembered that English for Americans was more about reading and understanding books and writing effectively than the language, which they knew. _Of course, they wouldn't be able to do that if they didn't know the language that well._

It seemed unlikely any of them had ever been asked to read a book in Japanese and write a brief response to it. _There isn't a chance any of these characters could do it. They're lackadaisical dropouts who go to drive-in movies rather than studying._ He chuckled to himself. _What if I made the report about my life?_

"Okazaki?" He looked up. It was Fuko again.

"Oh, hi, Fuko."

"I saw you talking with Yusuke today." She said it like an accusation. _If she's using his given name, she must be close with her sister._ "How was he?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know, he seemed like he was a bit sad about something, but all right apart from that. Did something happen to you?"

There was no response. _She's probably wondering what has her sister's boyfriend upset. Well, if some bad thing happened to some relation of someone close to me, I would probably not be happy about it._

"It's something that's still going on, isn't it?" he asked. "I mean, how could you not know?" The girl was hanging her head. _Oh, damn it, don't cry…_ Against any kind of sense of justice in the universe, someone was at the door.

It was Furukawa.

"Did you ask what happened to her?" she asked. He got up and walked to the door, keeping his voice down as he responded.

"I mean- yeah, was I supposed to not ask?" It seemed the girl he left behind was staring out the window.

"She doesn't know. She doesn't know why she's here. She doesn't know why her family can't see her, or why she can't go back." Tomoya wondered how she knew this. It seemed likely that she had been trying to help spread the message about the wedding. _That makes sense. She was supposed to be a nice girl._

"Have you been trying to get people to go to the wedding?" he asked. She nodded. "I've… well, I talked with her sister and I tried to see when it was going to be, so I could tell people that. She and her boyfriend both said that it was starting to look like-"

"I know. Ibuki-sensei is worried that by getting married, she would be abandoning her sister for her own happiness." _Either she asked her that, or she just knows her that well. Do I know anyone that well? Why does this seem familiar?_ "… but she just can't do that."

"Well, yeah. It doesn't make any sense that she would refuse to get married just because of something that happened to her sister. How would that help her?"

"It would not," Furukawa answered. "It would make her feel like she was holding her sister back. It would make her wish she had never been born." A memory came in the form of a powerful jolt. He could see her crying, and as soon as he saw it, the feeling of unease returned. _The past- or the future, whatever- is overwriting my current reality again. I can't let this keep happening._

"Uh… I guess it might. It might make her wish that whatever happened to her… didn't happen," he managed at length. "It doesn't seem fair for her to blame herself for her sister deciding not to get married." The girl next to him offered a sad smile.

"You can't control things like that…"

"I mean, I didn't blame myself when- well, that one thing was my fault, but I didn't blame myself when my mother died." _I couldn't think of any way it was my fault, but she might not have died if I hadn't been born._

"Well, I guess it's not always the case… but it's not as simple as telling her not to blame herself because she isn't responsible. As for what happened to her… I don't think we should ask. Don't laugh, but… I think there's something really weird going on." _That doesn't sound that funny._

"I don't know, a couple weird things have happened already. You might be right." He let out a long breath. _It's not funny; it's just tiresome. It's like I've done it all before, and it was tiresome the first time… or was it?_ "What do you think we should do?"

"I… well, I think we should help her sister. I think we should encourage her…"

"Well, the issue isn't what she wants to do, right? It's just about how she feels like she can't do it because she doesn't want to be happy. So, no matter what we say, she's not going to go through with it. We need a reason other than her own happiness."

"Huh?"

"People get married for practical reasons all the time. We'll get around her reasoning about being happy- I don't know, maybe we'll show her some tax incentive- and she'll be married anyway, even if she can tell herself it was just a practical arrangement." _Anyone who's even briefly held a conversation with Yoshino would know he'd never go along with anything like that. I'm guessing she's the one who handles all the bills._

He started to walk off, but he turned around at some sound from Furukawa.

"People shouldn't marry each other like that…" Perhaps it was hard for her to put into words because she took it as a given; Tomoya did not know. It felt like he believed the same until just recently. _When did I stop?_

"Well, she'd still be happy with her husband, right? We'll tell her to tell him she's ready to get married, not tell him why, and eventually the result would be the same. Fuko would get to see her sister happy."

"That's… that's possible, but… she'd always know she lied to her husband, because if she told him the truth, he never would have married her…" _So, you've met Yoshino too._ He sighed.

"I mean, yeah, but don't most married women have to deal with something like that? Don't most married men have a secret or two? It's a part of life. If you wait around for things to be perfect…"

"I don't know about most people, but my parents don't have anything like that. They don't lie to each other and they don't keep- well, they don't keep secrets from each other."

"How would you know?" he asked. "I've met your parents and they seem okay, but why would they tell you about it if they got married because they had to or if they weren't always truthful with each other? Isn't that what good parents do?" He turned back to Fuko, wondering if her parents were still around. _I can turn that into an innocent question for her sister._ "You never had the feeling there was something they didn't tell you because they wanted you to be happy?" It seemed so obvious. It had to be the case. "Not that I'm speaking from experience. I can't wait to be out of the house."

It seemed Furukawa was not going to respond. She stood there with her head low and her fists balled. _How do I respond to this? Is she going to cry or something?_ He hated it when that happened; he never knew what to do when girls were crying. It happened a few times in middle school, and if he were honest with himself, he mostly ran away. _It's something I can't make into a joke._

"Maybe…" she started, perhaps seeing him turn. "Maybe my parents aren't perfect. Maybe they do have something they have to hide from me, but what if it's something that's my fault? I… I've had a feeling for a long time that something bad happened a long time ago, and I was the cause of it."

"Well, even if you were, would you need to feel bad about it? If I stole something- I don't know, a set of blueprints- as a two year old, and a bridge fell down because of it, those people would just have to deal with being dead. I guess they could try to blame my parents, but that would just be their need for someone to blame. You're not responsible for yourself at all until you can at least remember what you did after you did it."

The girl drew a long breath and sighed through her nose. She looked up again.

"Well, I guess that proves what I was saying before… you can't just tell a girl that she's not responsible for something bad and expect her to believe you." _Did you just test that on yourself? Why would you go so far?_

They essentially left it at that and started to the school gate. No one saw them on the way there, which was well enough. _It's later than I expected. I probably shouldn't go see Sunohara at this point. He'll probably be in bed in around fifteen minutes._

"It's getting dark out." _I shouldn't walk her home. I don't know what might happen. If only there were someone else here…_ They started walking in the direction of the bakery.

"I was wondering… when did your mother… pass away?" Furukawa asked after a pause.

"It was a long time ago. I can barely remember her."

They passed a short time in silence. Walking without looking at each other, they looked around. For some reason the town seemed strange tonight. _My memories are overlapping…_

"Okazaki, I have a question… you don't have to answer it."

"Yeah?"

"You said you can't wait to leave home. You don't have a good relationship with your father, do you? You can't remember your mother, so you can't remember feeling like a family…"

"I mean… it's fine. I've accepted it. He doesn't want to be my father, and I don't want to be his son. Soon enough I'll be on my own all the same."

"Is that why you're fine with being out so late?" she asked. _That's too many questions, even for someone nice like you…_ "You don't think your father will worry about you, or you don't care if he does, so you're out late every night… and then you come to school late. Is that how you started being…"

"No, I was always a delinquent. I was just a delinquent who was good at playing basketball, once upon a time." They were at the bakery. Sanae looked up from the counter. She was not worried, but rather pleasantly surprised. _They have a lot of faith in their daughter. Well, I hate to say it, but they might just be equally naïve._

"Thank you for walking Nagisa home, Okazaki."

"It's no trouble. I was around."

"If you like, I could write a note for you to take home, since it's so late…" _That's right… she's a teacher part-time._ It was an oddly specific memory, reserved for a truly unhelpful detail of course.

"Well, that would only take longer. My father's used to my being out late." As he said his goodbyes and walked away, he may have unintentionally communicated some sense of finality. That was to say, he intended a sense of finality, but only for himself. If associating with Furukawa was going to lead to something terrible, he wanted nothing more to do with her. _She's also the kind of nice girl that wants to help you, even when you're fine with the way things are._

He walked home alone, finding his father asleep as always. He had not even gone to bed, which was how it was sometimes, but he had changed out of his work clothes. _Well, that means he didn't just walk in and pass out. But why would he be down here?_

_Was he waiting for me?_

Tomoya shook his head. There were any number of practical things his father probably had to discuss with him, like getting a job and moving out. His briefcase was open, indicating it might have had to do with something in there. Glancing over, he noticed a wooden star.


	11. A Social Date

The following day was like waking up from a strange dream. If anything happened on the way to school, he did not pay any attention. Ryou was waiting for him at the gates. An overwhelming relief passed through him; somehow he had worried it would be Furukawa.

"Hey, Ryou, do you want to go on a date this evening?" he asked. She looked a little flustered, but managed it. Perhaps her sister had told her it was on the way.

"Um… um… yes, I would," she said, her fists at her side and her eyes shut about as tightly as they could be. "When would you like to meet?"

"Oh, we can be at the school gate after classes are out," he said as they went inside. It was going to be a long day of her looking over at him, so he would probably walk out of at least one of his classes. As it happened, his patience ran out after the first one, but the teacher caught him.

"Have you done that paper yet?"

"I was actually going to write it about my life. You know, like the book." The man looked stunned. He walked out. _That'll give me a few more days at least._ He took refuge in the reference room, where Miyazawa was going through a book on rocks, of all things. _What's there to say about them?_

"Have you heard about Ibuki-sensei's wedding?" he asked, suddenly thinking about the wooden star his father had picked up from wherever he left it. He had no idea what would motivate that course of action, but it really made no difference to him. It was a rough-shaped carving, nothing more, in itself.

"Ibuki-sensei is getting married? Who's the groom?"

"Oh, he's an electrical worker named Yoshino. He talks like some kind of artist." He thought a moment. "How is it that you know her? She stopped teaching three years ago,"

"Oh, she was my older brother's favorite teacher. He would have loved to go to her wedding."

"Your older brother went here too?" he asked, trying to get her to say more about him. He had not forgotten what Kotomi wanted, but it had to be done carefully. Miyazawa had good reason to be reticent.

"He went here for about a year and a half before he dropped out. When… well, when our father died, he stopped listening to our mother, and he went out to get a job. A few of his old friends had already dropped, and one day, when they were hanging out after work, they were attacked by a gang. The police wouldn't go after them, because their leader was the son of a Yakuza boss."

"They really just let them alone?"

"The mob is powerful. They have their tendrils in everything, even the media, which is how they keep people from realizing how much they control. There is not a good way to get rid of them." She was looking down at the book as she spoke, but it was doubtful she could read a word on the page. "At some point my brother decided the only game in town was the game they were playing."

It sounded sad when she said it. It did not sound like a joke, or a common saying, the kind of thing that people accepted without thinking about it. _Damn. I don't even know what's been going on in this town._

"They started a gang, then."

"Before we talk any more about this, my brother's gang is mostly nice people. They're in a bad way sometimes, but they're not bad guys when you get to know them. Sometimes I even let them come visit me here, when they're behaving." _Well, maybe they're nice to you. I'll have to ask Sakagami what she thinks about them._

"I'd like to meet them at some point. I'm not someone who really has a future, so I've got nothing to lose." _Maybe that sounds a bit rude._ "Some of them might even be good role models for me." _Why does that sound worse?_

They decided to go to class, which took them in different directions. His next class was annoying, but some of his work math had him thinking about it all the way to lunch. _Probability… if you did the same thing twice, could something different happen? Does it represent all the factors you can't control, or does it include the ones you can?_

Lunch was a mob as always, but he managed to get through it and grab something at random. He found of late he cared a lot less about what kind of bread he purchased at school. _Furukawa's family runs a bakery. Wouldn't it be cheaper for her to just take something from there to school?_ He did not allow his eyes to linger on her, instead he took his lunch with him back to the new school building, eating in the hallway. Oddly enough, he saw Sakagami doing much the same.

"Oh, hi, Okazaki," she said. For some reason it looked as though she had been looking for him. Her breathing was a touch irregular. "Um… I have something to ask you."

"If it's about Sunohara-"

"No, it's… not. It's not really about the election." _What is it, then?_ "Can we talk in private?" He opened the door to an empty classroom and gestured needlessly. "Well, this may have started because of the campaign and all that, but…"

"What?"

"Have you met the other candidate's boyfriend?" He ran a hand down his face. _You're a madman, Sunohara._

"I can assure you; they haven't done anything. I can be a hundred percent certain of that." _Well, not a hundred._

"Oh, that wasn't really what I was asking. Um… so you know him?"

"He lives in the same dorm as Sunohara, and I'm over there every so often." He sighed. "Sunohara Youhei, not Sunohara Mei."

"Oh, I see. So what's he like?"

"Well, I'd definitely say he's a decent guy, but he's not the cleverest." _Well, that's not fair. Everyone here is totally fooled._ "He's actually pretty considerate, too, now that I think about it. That's how I would describe him."

"Oh… Well, I suppose I should be happy for my opponent, but…"

"It's not hurting your chances. You'll be fine."

"Well, I was talking with some girls…" _Don't tell me you've been talking with Ryou._ "The school is starting to respect her more because she has such a cool boyfriend. I was hoping he would be someone I could say I was happy not to be dating, but now I don't know. I probably shouldn't say that he isn't my type anyway, because he might be my type."

"Don't lose any sleep over it-"

"Stop telling me that," Sakagami said, putting her foot down a bit. "It's easy for you to tell me not to worry about things, because that's how you handle everything, right?" There was a pause. "Okay, maybe that was unnecessary. I just need to counter this before the polls come out."

"Counter it? He's not a bad guy. He'll come to his senses at some point and ditch her."

"Well, you would know him better than I would, but I think a proper measure would be to be seen with a boyfriend of my own… to show that I could get one… if I wanted."

"Okay, where are you planning on looking? Don't ask Sunohara; I guarantee he won't help you with this." _She might do well to find an excuse to meet up with an existing student council member. Well, that might make her look like too much of a ladder-climber. People would think she only dated him to get elected… which she did._ "I guess you could go around to some of the teams, some of the-"

"I was thinking about you."

"Are you insane?"

"Sorry!" She put her hands to her cheeks, turning away. "Sorry, I knew you would say no… but, well, I just had to ask. I feel like I… no, it's pointless now."

"Well, I can't think of anyone who would tank your chances of getting elected more than I would," he said, keeping his voice even. "Come to think of it, you really shouldn't be seen with me at all. Most people think that a delinquent like myself only wants the one thing from girls."

"Oh… well, I definitely don't want people thinking that. I mean, I did suspect people might think I was going back to being a delinquent…"

"I mean, if you wanted it to be a rumor, just to put things back in your favor before the polls, why didn't you just ask Furukawa to tell everyone she caught us in the shed once?" he asked. "I'm pretty sure I told you she was the one who caught us."

"Well… that would be something I could not deny later," she said after thinking about it. Tomoya was still not sure the idea had occurred to her. "If I did deny it, I would be calling her a liar." _I hadn't even thought about that. It really would be throwing her under the bus, though, and that's if it works._

"Okay. That's a good enough reason," he said, still thinking it should have at least crossed her mind. _…unless it didn't because she's just a more honest person than I am._ "I don't think you need to go around with a guy for a few weeks in order to get elected. At the same time, I still think people would say you were doing it to get elected."

"Oh, that's right. I definitely shouldn't start hanging out with a guy if I don't really like him. That would send him the wrong signals." _She definitely didn't think of that before I brought it up._ "Thanks for putting it that way and making me think about it from the guy's perspective."

"It's fine. I still think you're worrying too much." _In the infinitesimal chance that Sunohara has any chance of winning, I'm just going to tell Mitsurugi that he's actually a guy. It'll mean I can't come back to the dorm, but I'll at least have undone my own mistakes._

Going back to class, he worked on his paper a bit, getting his life story in order. It seemed arrogant to write something like an autobiography before he was out of high school, but it did not have to speak to his whole life, just a few days or weeks. That would resemble the book better, anyway.

He hoped he would receive a good grade for the paper, though he did not think it was mentioned anywhere if Ponyboy did. Most of the time he tried to do something ambitious or creative, his teachers assumed he just had no desire to do the assignment as asked. _Why would a delinquent ever do that, after all?_ The result was his doing the bare minimum on all the requirements, since at least he knew what the requirements were. It was easier, after all, and the reward was the same.

Tomoya managed to talk with Kotomi a bit about the book between the rest of his classes. It was getting easier and easier to pretend he had read the book and understood it. _Well, what's the difference between pretending to understand it and actually understanding it?_ It annoyed him, however, when she said he still did not get some of the main themes.

 _Is she just doing this to drag things out? I could already write a paper that's better than what ninety percent of the class wrote._ He knew, however, that it would not be enough. Nowhere was it written that he had been offered a passing grade if he wrote a good paper, and he had already delayed things enough. Without something better than what his friend wrote, he would not be able to justify passing the class, and with that he would quite possibly not graduate.

He kept working and paying a reasonable amount of attention until the end of the day, when he put his things away. _School really isn't as hard as I thought. Somehow, it's even easier than I remember, if that's what these notions are._ He still wondered about the strange memories, whether they were from the past or the future, or somewhere else entirely, but there were a few things that clued him in the direction he was currently taking with it.

For one thing, the behaviors of his recent past seemed childish to him. It was common for high school kids to do a lot of growing up in a relatively short amount of time, especially as deadlines approached, but it was not just his attitudes towards work, it was his relationships and the way he handled problems. He seemed to have more general knowledge as well, suggesting he was drawing on experiences that had not yet taken place. If, of course, he was correct in his current theory that he had memories from the future, they were certainly not of the most helpful variety. They felt like dreams, vanishing as soon as he woke.

At the school gate he met Ryou. She was carrying a bento, wrapped in cloth as always. _Who eats at this time of day? I guess it might be for a bit later._ He was suddenly glad he did not have to tell Sakagami about this date, considering he hardly knew about it himself. _I don't even know where we're going._

"Hi, Okazaki…" the class representative started cautiously. "Where are we going?"

"Well, that didn't work."

"What?"

"Oh, there was just something that didn't work out. There was supposed to be a concert tomorrow, and I thought they'd be practicing today, but I guess not." _That's not even that good of an excuse. At least they really are holding the singing competition._

"Oh, then… did you have… other plans?"

"We can always walk around the stores in town." _We'll have to find some place pretty quickly and duck into there. I don't want to be seen, and I really don't think she even wants to be seen._ They set off walking toward the stores. Kyou seemed to be right about the improvement in her mood. _Well, part of the reason we're doing this is to get her confidence up. I guess I could ask about something familiar._

"What's on your mind?" Ryou asked, probably seeing him lost in thought. _It might be that I have that expression a lot._

"Well, earlier I was thinking about probabilities. I guess it made me wonder if the future was deterministic, because the way some people talk about them, it's as if the future is partially deterministic… or something like that."

"Oh. I've heard about that. Did you know that there's this famous theory that we're all in a simulation?"

"I mean, yeah; it's all over science fiction movies…"

"No, there's a theory that there's a high probability that this is all just simulated in a computer in the distant future."

"Oh, really? How does that work?" he asked. They seemed to be going to an arcade. _That'll be good. I'll have an excuse, at least._

"Well… isn't it pretty likely that in the future, they'll have a computer that's powerful enough?"

"If we don't all kill each other, I guess they could have a simulation that replicates everything… I mean, thirty years ago we wouldn't have imagined what we can do today, or that's what everyone is saying." It seemed a bit strange, seeing her animated like this, but she was talking about something that interested her.

"Right, so if in the future, they have computers that can do that, then wouldn't they be interested in simulating history or even totally fictional scenarios?"

"Sure, I could see that. Wouldn't we have some way of finding out?"

"I don't think so. If they simulated everything in our universe exactly, then there would be no difference between our world and the real world. There was a French philosopher who theorized that if a sufficiently complex simulation understood the position of every atom in the universe, and all the properties of physics, then it would be able to predict the future with perfect accuracy."

The idea of it stumped him a little. As difficult as it sounded to get all of that working, he could not completely reject the possibility of it happening ever, since forever was supposed to be a long enough time for anything to happen. He was used to Ryou using occult mechanisms of predicting the future, but he supposed if she was really interested in the future being deterministic, he should not be surprised to find she had looked at it from other angles. _I guess what surprises me most is how confident she is._

"Okay, so if it's possible for us to build a computer like that in the future, one that can simulate the entire universe, what if we just built it? Would our simulation crash?" _It's like realizing you're in a dream… you always wake up._

"I don't know. Our simulation might not have that long of a lifespan. For all we know, it could have only started a few minutes ago. Maybe it's scheduled to end next week."

"Well, okay, but the computer is still possible to build. We live in a universe where it's possible to build, or it couldn't be in our future."

"This might still be a fictional scenario…" Ryou started, reminding him that it was not necessarily their own future that developed the machine.

"Well, sure, but we're not stuck in the Tokugawa period or anything. We could theoretically build more and more powerful computers until the simulation crashes. They can't make it infinitely complex. If they can do that, then we could do that too."

"What does it matter?" she asked. "I mean, even if we are in a simulation, why would you change anything?"

"Maybe. Why would I want to live in a world that didn't really exist, with people who don't really exist?"

"What's the alternative? What would make you any different?" Tomoya could not tell if she was arguing with him or picking his brain about it.

"I'd have to try to build the same kind of computer they were using to run it. Sooner or later, probably long after my death, it'd be done, and the simulation would crash. They'd have their answer, and I wouldn't be their pet."

"Why would you care about that? How could they have inconvenienced you if they made you from nothing? What other purpose could your existence have ever had?"

"It wouldn't have had any purpose. It would be impossible for my existence to serve any purpose but theirs, and I'd rather not serve their purposes. I wouldn't have to accomplish much with my life. If I raised thirty yen to donate to the construction of some kind of insane supercomputer, the simulation would be destroyed eventually, and I would have been part of it."

"But… everything you are, you got from them. So, no matter what you did…"

"I'm not so sure. Whenever you do an experiment, there's a result you want, and a result you don't want, and that's under the best of circumstances. If you had a bunch of lab rats in a maze, you're trying to see where they go or how they get there. You're not trying to see if they tear up the maze."

For two teenagers in an arcade, they were making a strange scene.

"Do you want to go inside?" It was getting close to time to eat. If his stomach rumbled, though, he hoped his date wouldn't hear. _It's weird to think of her like that._

"No, let's go out and watch the sunset. We'll look up at the stars whenever they come out."

"Okay," she said, offering a gentle smile. They went out and found a grassy hill that overlooked the setting sun. _She might not want to be the one to suggest eating._

"Did your sister make this?" he asked, trying to get on the subject. He pointed at the bento.

"Oh, no. She suggested it. She definitely wanted to make us something to eat, but I insisted on doing it myself." _Well, that makes sense. Kyou wants her sister to have a good time, but she wanted to at least try._ "I let her make the rice, though. I didn't want to risk ruining it." _You can ruin rice?_

They sat down together and ate, not really talking about anything, until it hit him how bad it was. Then he would have talked about anything else. The food was not exactly killing him, but he could not understand how she got the idea to fry eggs in a fryer. It seemed like she just had bad general knowledge about cooking and made things up whenever she did not know what to do.

"It's… terrible… isn't it?" she asked at length.

"You just need to learn a little. Does your sister ever make you do things on your own to build your confidence?" Her eyes widened. _Well, there's my answer._

"How did you know?"

"It seems like the kind of thing she would do. She acts really mature, but isolating yourself isn't the same as being independent. If you ask for a little help in the beginning, you end up better off when you're doing it on your own later. I guess it's not the same for everything, and she should stop helping you at some point, but if you asked her for some pointers, you'd probably do a lot better." He was helping her pack up the chopsticks and the removable level when their hands touched.

"Um… um… sorry?" she guessed.

"If anything, I should be apologizing to you. You're the one who looks uncomfortable." She turned away, her face going red. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"It's… it's fine. My mom told me… most guys…" she trailed off. _I guess I was being unfair, thinking she wouldn't know about it._ "She told me most guys want to hold hands." Her eyes were glistening, but she was taking pains to be brave. "… and one day, when I was ready, that I should take the chance and do it."

"Your mother is trying to kill you."

"Huh?"

Tomoya thought about leaning in and kissing her. He could have. It would have amused him, watching her explode with embarrassment. Later in life, she would probably think of what happened as a romantic occasion, if she remembered high school at all. _Well, how would I know. Ryou probably goes on to have all sorts of interesting memories. I can't remember that much of her._

The thought saddened him, but he let it pass as he took her hand and walked her home. What she wanted was a date, and it was a date she received. He could have taken her somewhere nicer, but perhaps it would have seemed like he was putting on a show. She pointed out the stars above them as they walked to her home, probably just distracting herself, or trying. At her door she stopped and turned around.

"Thank you, Okazaki… I had a… nice time this evening…" she said, trailing off. Her eyes never settled on him; it was as if she was looking into the distance, perhaps even the future. "My sister told me… to expect a date with you. I know you only… took pity on me…"

"That's not true- I like you-"

"But you only asked me out after she suggested it, right?" Ryou's voice was strangely calm. "It's okay. I like you, too, but… I don't feel like it's in the cards… not literally…"

"I know what you mean," he found himself saying. _It would have been worse if I'd kissed her._ "Have a good night, Ryou."

He walked home alone.


	12. The Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's something of a short chapter, and the beginning of where I'll have to go down to one chapter every three days. I'd written a fair bit before starting to publish, but I can't manage the average chapter length on a single day, so we're caught up. Don't worry, I'm really interested in finishing this, and I know how I'm going to do it.

His apartment was a mess of liquor bottles, but apart from that it was in shape. He was hardly in the place where he lost everything except when he wanted to drink, as most of the bars had already kicked him out. _Where am I? What's going on?_ His hand went across his face, which had not seen a razor in days.

Rising to a seated position, he had a thought to clean up the bottles, or at least put them somewhere. He opened a cabinet to find more of them. _Am I trying to kill myself?_ Straightening his back felt enough like death to qualify as a suicide attempt. The headache was worse. Working out his strange compulsion to put the apartment in order left him with only more questions until he heard a knock at the door.

It was Ryou.

Somehow, he instantly recognized her despite her being several years older, perhaps twenty or something. He wanted to at least look like he remembered she was coming over.

"Hi, Okazaki… I heard about what happened," she managed. "I'm sorry I came out here so late, but, well, things have been busy for me… I'm a nurse now, and well…" She showed him a ring on her finger. "Everything's happening so quickly."

They stood there for a moment without saying anything. He was sure she could smell the alcohol on his breath, but he invited her inside all the same. It was not as if he had any other place to invite her.

"Have you been inviting friends over and drinking?" she asked. It was an optimistic interpretation of the situation, but that was Ryou, was it not? She was just fucking full of optimistic interpretations. _I can't even control my thoughts..._

"I don't have any friends," he said, collapsing into a chair. "Well, that's not true. My friends just left me. I don't blame them. If they want to be happy, they should be as far away from me as possible."

The young nurse must have had classes on bedside manner. She refrained from criticizing him; and somehow, he did not mind being treated like a patient.

"Well, I'm here. I'll always be your friend. Have you heard from Sunohara?"

"That idiot doesn't know what to do in this sort of situation." He sighed. "Again, I don't blame him. Even you don't have anything to say to me."

"I met a man last week who lost his family in a car accident," she started. "He was pretty devastated. The only thing I could tell him was that it wasn't his fault; the other driver-"

"Was he driving the car with his family?"

"Well, yes. The other car hit his on the rear passenger side-"

"Then you lied to him. You told him something to make him feel better, because you'd rather have two deaths than three. That's good. I don't really have a problem with it."

"Tomoya!" she shouted, containing her volume in the cramped apartment. He was satisfied, but he did not smile or give any other sign. He just had the reaction he wanted. He had the genuine reaction from her heart. "That kind of thing can happen to anyone. Just because he was driving, doesn't mean he could have done anything. He probably drove them around hundreds of times before-"

"He couldn't have done anything, no. I'm sure he couldn't have looked and seen the other driver and sped up or slowed down to minimize the damage. This was all predetermined, wasn't it? Did the stars decide his family would die that day? Perhaps he should have asked you for a fortune."

"What are you trying to say?"

"It's irresponsible."

"What is?"

"Fortune-telling. Divination. Prophecy. If what happens in your life has already been decided, it means you can live without worrying about the future or agonizing over your mistakes. Believing in fate is just a part of it, though. Actively seeking it out means that you're willing to make decisions based on what the fortune says will happen in the future. You haven't just made your own choices irrelevant; you've let some sort of outside force make them for you." He looked up. Ryou was not crying yet, but perhaps she had heard it before. "Is that why you became a nurse? It's not really up to you at the end of the day if the patient dies. What you have to do is be as caring as possible. That way, whether they live or die-"

"That's not why!" she shouted, going around the table. "I love helping people… and I do love caring for people…" She leaned against him and softly beat his chest, one hand on his shoulder. "Why won't you let me help you?"

"I'm sorry," he said, putting his arms around her back. "I appreciate what you do. I think you should keep doing it as long as you can." He kissed the top of her head. "You just can't help me like you help the rest of your patients. You can't tell me things are going to be all right, because they're not."

"Tomoya… what do you want…" She tested his hold on her. It was not, however, the friendly sort of hug that a woman could escape easily.

"I should have gone with you. There wasn't anything wrong with you; I was just too selfish. There was more I should have taken into account." He ran a hand down her back. "… and that's why it was all my fault."

"Tomoya… I'm… a married woman," she objected quietly. Her hand flattened against his chest, though whether to push him away… _What am I doing?_

"But that's the only reason, isn't it?" he asked.

"No… you're not well. It's clear to me that you're… not well." _Stop… just stop…_

"Is that another way of keeping me from being responsible for my actions?" he asked, almost amused. "If so, I'm about to be very grateful for that…" There was another knock at the door. "Well, that was wise, having yourself followed like that. I'd be worried if you trusted me."

Ryou crying and walking out was the last thing he saw before waking up.


	13. The Competition

Tomoya was still in a cold sweat as he hastily threw his clothes on. He could not tell if he was going to be late or early, but he had to be as early as possible. He assumed everything he needed of his school things was in the bag, and he practically ran out the door. He took the normal route to school at a jog, which would not look too suspicious to the passerby.

 _Am I that early? There's no one else here…_ It was unusual for there to be no early birds at all. He was tempted to just count it as a rare bit of luck and keep moving. He would have to get in class early to choose his seat.

The last thing he wanted was to sit next to the class representative.

He knew he was dreaming, or seeing a vision of some sort, and even then, it was not her fault, but he could not bear to look at her. _It'll be worse if she sees me. She won't know I'm having visions of the future… or my past future… but knowing her she'll suspect something._

When he arrived at the gates, he remembered that there was no school. _That's right. They're having the singing competition today._ Oddly, the gate was open. _It doesn't start until afternoon. I don't have anything else to do until then… and I can almost certainly avoid Ryou in here…_

It felt childish, but at least he had a reason for it. He walked into the old school building, seeing a pair of shoes outside. They were outside shoes for a girl, to be sure, but the probability they belonged to either Fujibayashi was still infinitesimal.

Aside from that, he was starting to think he recognized them.

 _Where would I have seen them before? I hope they're not Furukawa's… I'm still trying not to hang around her if I can help it._ Deciding there was a chance they belonged to Miyazawa, and he still wanted to talk to her, he found himself walking to the reference room. The light was on.

"Tomoya…" It was Kotomi's voice. She was hunched over the spellbook, but there were several others on the table. "I know it's you. I've read every grimoire in this… this fucking room… there isn't a spell to take away my ability, is there?"

He just stood there. Could he make anything worse by saying anything?

"What happened?"

"Right. I suppose you're a little messed up on the order of events." She rolled her eyes, making a new tear from each of them. "First, you told me that you'd use a magic spell to take away my skill with the violin. Then, I asked if I could play for the singing competition. Nishina said she would not be needing any musical accompaniment." She slammed one of the spell books closed. "Then, yesterday, I found Harada and Sugisaka. One of them was nice enough to tell me they had picked out the music when I asked. The other one was mean enough to tell me the real reason their club president rejected my offer. I came here. I knew that this early on a day we didn't have school, there really wasn't a snowball's chance that there would be anyone here."

"Then you read through all the spell books… to see if there was some way of undoing the spell?"

"You made me believe in magic, Tomoya. You made me run here, hoping there was some way out of my world crashing around me, and desperately search for a way back to the dream I was having. Why couldn't you just tell me?!" she shouted.

"It would have been mean. You said it yourself," he argued, wondering how he could have told her. "Did anyone else ever tell you?"

"No!" Kotomi started back. "My parents told me I was good! They told me I had natural talent! This violin is all I have left of them… no matter how many performances I watched, mimicking the motion of their hands… I never got the same kind of praise as I did with my parents. I looked for opportunities to play-"

"You're supposed to mimic the sound that comes out," he growled. _I'm not letting her blame this on me, not exclusively, not after everything else-_

"I can't hear! I've been stone deaf since I was a child!" She put her fingertips to her temples. "Most deaf people are basically functional. You wouldn't realize they're deaf unless they tell you. Most of the time, there's no reason to mention it."

"Then you're just in the same position I was. Maybe Nishina's even closer, so that's why she had sympathy. I don't know."

"You don't understand. If anything, you understand the least out of anyone. I've humiliated myself for years and you've always known- you've always known and you didn't say anything. You were supposed to be my friend."

"You never played it when we were kids. I doubt I'd have had enough manners to tell you it was good. I probably would have laughed, come to think of it. I wish I had told you, but one way or another you've been doing this for years. I guess I had it easy, in a way. Basketball ability isn't an opinion, so you can always tell where you stand." _How can I do this to her? Is this the same as- no, this isn't the same._

"Just… just go; I don't want to talk to you now." He had no problem with that. It felt bad having deceived his old friend, but he had only done it to try to get her to see that she had no talent. _…and then I got my wish._

It seemed there was a maximum to the amount of guilt he could feel at once, and he had already hit it. The explanation was too simple to be a fact, of course, but he had no other available. Tomoya made his way outside. _It's not the first time I've felt like a bad friend to her._

With nowhere to go but the competition, he saw Sakagami on the way there. _I guess this is a good place to pick up votes. She has to be visible to win, and if her opponent enters, she has to at least be here._

"Hi, Okazaki…" she said, seeing him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well, the polls still aren't out yet, but everyone I have asked says they will vote for my opponent."

"That's not good," he conceded, realizing how hard he had been trying to reassure her of the certainty of her victory. _It would have been better if I did one thing to help her._ "Are you going to curry some favor here? Beating up Sunohara would make you wildly popular, you know."

"That is not really why I am going," she said quietly. "I really just want to see my opponent face to face. I can't lose this election, so I can't afford it if the rumors are true. I have to prove I'm not afraid of her."

"Is that what people are saying about you? You didn't enter to compete, so you're afraid of her?" He scowled. It was perfectly apparent who was behind that rumor. _Well, at least it doesn't take a genius, just someone who's spoken to him like once._ What was more annoying, at least at the moment, was that everyone else just seemed to buy into it.

"That's the short version. She was saying she had no formal training and was still willing to compete against anyone, because it was always her dream to be an idol." _Damn. I should have been paying closer attention to Sunohara's random statements. Now he can't lose._

"Well, what if you did enter? I'm sure they'd still take you."

"My opponent only said that she had no experience after the deadline closed." Sakagami sighed. "To be honest, I thought the whole thing was a trap. If my opponent happened to be a shogi master, she would challenge me to a game. I could hardly challenge her to a fight… I would be lucky to stay in school… winning the election would be impossible."

"Well, aren't you good at something else?" he asked, racking his tenuous memories. It seemed there was something she could do, but he had no idea what it was any longer. "You can't only be good at fighting… wouldn't your skills translate to dance or something?"

"I wish I had thought of playing the same petty game as my opponent sooner," she said with a note of aggravation in her voice. "At the time, the wisest thing to do was to ignore the challenge as an obvious trap. _Well, you'd be right if it were anyone but Sunohara. Everyone's good at different things, and it's at least a little cowardly to challenge someone to a competition you know you can win._ "Besides, it has nothing to do with the job of being president of the student council."

"You're right," he conceded. At least in his experience, most of what got the past winners elected had nothing to do with the job, because it was not terribly important if they did the job well. It was a popularity contest, that was all it ever had been, and no one seemed to mind. "You could definitely beat Sunohara in a game of shogi, though, just so you know." _You could probably beat him in most things that require a brain._

The contest had already started when they arrived. It appeared Sugisaka would go first, since she had volunteered first. She was singing a traditional Japanese song whose name escaped him. Her voice did not sound like anything special, but she definitely had the training to get her through the performance. If he had been expecting her to glower at the audience if she found their applause insufficient, he would have been disappointed; she briefly lowered her head as the students and staff applauded. The next contestant was someone he did not recognize.

"Well, that might have been a good sign," he said, noting no response from Sakagami. _I should look around for Sunohara. If I keep him distracted long enough, there's a chance he'll forget all about why he's here._ As the song continued, he walked around to the hallway that led to the wings of the stage. He found his friend waiting in full dress and makeup.

Surprisingly, it actually looked like he was passing. At least, Furukawa did not notice anything amiss about him.

"Hey, Sunohara, Mitsurugi has a private message for you."

"I don't have time-" the candidate started back.

"You should listen!" the girl insisted. "What if he wants to tell you something important? He's your boyfriend... isn't he?"

"Of course, of course..." Sunohara followed him out of earshot of the other waiting contestants. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same thing, but I think I know. I'm more interested in what you've put in that dress to make everyone think you have boobs."

"It's the same thing everyone else is doing around here and you know it," the blonde boy explained. "They have no reason to think I'm anything other than a girl, so that's what they'll assume as long as I don't screw it up."

"No one ever had a reason to think you were a guy."

"That's enough out of you." He looked annoyed, but was not going to resort to violence over it, not even a feminine slap. _Are you actually trying to look presidential? What's the point?_ "First I'm going to win this competition, then I'm going to win the election."

"How do you intend to do that? Your voice is too low; you can't just put makeup on that."

"So you would be led to believe, Okazaki, yet you would be wrong about that. My darling Mitsurugi has quite the ingenious idea. If you'll excuse me." Sunohara effortlessly moved past him, getting on the stage right as it was his turn, leaving him with Furukawa and Harada, along with a few other contestants. _Damn. He wouldn't have even caught me if I had just delayed him long enough. Does he really care that much about winning?_

The music was a fast pop tune he might have heard on the radio, which fit the bill for a self-appointed idol. What surprised him was the voice, which was substantially higher than he would have expected. Squinting, it seemed he was holding something.

"It's an inhaler!" the girl next to him deduced, apparently proud of herself. "That's why she keeps using it whenever she takes a breath- how brave..."

"What?" he demanded. "Sunohara doesn't use an inhaler-"

"Some people's needs change based on their level of activity," Furukawa explained. "It does not look like a rescue inhaler, so I would expect she only uses it for singing... I think it's brave of her too..." He lacked the heart to explain it, especially to her. The song looked like it was going well enough, surprisingly. _This must be what he was doing instead of school for the past few weeks._

It was fortunate that the judges were not giving out immediate responses, so the excitement of such a performance would mostly be wasted. It was Nishina's turn, and he decided he was happy with her performance as he walked back to find Sakagami. _I'm not sticking around this group any longer. I still need to get more data on Furukawa._

"What did you think of your opponent?" he asked as soon as he returned.

"She was... she was so perfect... she had everyone so energized," she answered at length. Somewhere the club president was finishing up her song. It was a stranger's turn. "It doesn't even matter if she wins at this point... everyone will say that if she challenged me to something she knew she could win, then the choral club did it first, since they were the ones who came up with the open invitation contest."

"Do you need a shogi board or something?" he asked. It seemed so obvious. It seemed like the kind of petty trick that would drive Sunohara up the wall.

"I'm not letting the fate of the cherry blossom trees be decided by a game of shogi!" Sakagami shouted, managing her volume. "The students are going to vote for me, or they're not," she continued, calming down. "If I don't win, could you please get my opponent to at least save the trees?"

Somehow, though 'yes' seemed like the obvious answer, he did not know what to say. He really had no idea how she was going to save them in the first place. She was the kind of girl to have a plan, but even if she did not have one she would make an attempt.

"Are you thinking about what Yoshino said a few days ago?" he asked quietly. "Are you worried that no one wants to save them but you, and therefore you're just trying to keep something around because it's important to you, even though everyone else might want something different?" She looked around, seeing no one was particularly watching them talk before nodding without making eye contact. "Well, that's perfectly fine. I think that even if people don't appreciate them now, they would miss the trees if they were gone. That's just how it is sometimes."

On the stage, it was Harada's turn. She sang a song he did not recognize, but it was hauntingly beautiful, whatever language it was. People were not standing up and clapping, even at the end, but only because they were transfixed. _Well, there goes the competition. Sunohara's going to be disappointed he didn't win, but he's not going to lose the election over it, not the way he planned it out._

When they eventually left, they still had most of the day ahead of them, so he wanted to take her minds off things somehow. They went to the park near the Furukawa bakery. Sakagami turned to him with a serious expression.

"Is this the park you mentioned earlier? Either you told me or Ichinose told me she had it out of you..."

"Well, yeah, but it looks like the usual gang isn't here. Oh, well, looks like we have to have a normal afternoon in the park."

The presidential candidate offered an amused smile. It looked like she was entertaining the joke despite her normal seriousness, and it felt like he was telling it despite the way he had felt the entire day. First there was his dream, which felt real, though he could not have said when it took place, then there was Kotomi, then there was falling into the surprisingly clever trap by Sunohara.

The two of them talked and walked around for a while; he was not keeping track of the time any more than they were keeping track of what they were discussing. He felt better talking to Sakagami than he had all day, and she seemed to be enjoying herself as well. Their conversation came to an abrupt conclusion when some tough-looking strangers stood in their path.

"What are you doing here?" one of them asked. He was a taller young man in a black leather jacket.


	14. Helium

The tension could be felt in the air.

"We're just walking around," Tomoya said, remaining casual. "That's not illegal, is it?" It looked like Sakagami was substantially less comfortable.

"This is Miyazawa territory, and you're just walking around in it?"

"I don't know about gangs. I can't imagine why they wouldn't allow us to walk around in the park." _This jerk doesn't look anything like Yukine. There's no way the two of them are related, so this isn't the Miyazawa gang. They're here looking for a fight._

"Is that because you're one of them?" someone else asked from behind the leader. "Don't think we don't know who she is..."

"I'd hope you know who she is; she's running for president of the student council at Hikarizaka. Do you go there?" he asked. An hand on his arm indicated he was not diffusing the situation. _It's not like I'm trying to get them to attack me. I'm not an idiot._

"We were just leaving, Sasaki," Sakagami said. "We don't want any trouble." They started on their way out of the park, but it seemed two of the gang members were following them. "They're following us."

"I can tell. Just keep moving."

Keeping moving was easy enough, but the trick was crossing the street, meaning they would be in ambiguous territory. _Damn, I can't do anything today. Nothing is working._ There was a crossing guard who nodded at the two of them and it occurred to him that someone looking at them might have thought they were not just hanging out. He doubted the Sasaki gang would have cared.

"Let's hope the crossing delays them." _If we get far enough out of the school's general area, we can probably get away with fighting them._ "I wouldn't think they're any threat to you, though."

"Not really. I just can't be seen starting fights. There's no way I would win the election... even if I were allowed to continue."

"Then we'll make sure you're not seen. What kind of delinquent are you, Sakagami?" he asked, only half joking. She grabbed his arm.

"I really hate to ask you this...and they probably won't catch up to us... but if they do, could I please... run for it?" she asked. "I'd make it up to you later..." Thinking about it seriously, there was no way she would look worse, since fighting was hardly the expectation for her, and even those who knew the rumors that she was a skilled martial artist would probably not take her flight as a sign of cowardice, since it was a known fact that she was a candidate. Running from a fight would dispel any rumors that she was a delinquent once and for all.

"In that case, go ahead. They'll probably lose interest in fighting if you're not around." He was mostly saying it to keep her from worrying, but it was probable. The candidate looked back before running ahead, though he realized he had no idea where she was going. _Maybe she lives around here. I don't think I ever asked._ It took a few blocks for the gang members to catch up with him. The fact that they were still following him was a bad sign, but in a public place they seemed marginally inclined to keep things civil.

"Do you know about that girl?" one of them asked. "Do you know about her past?"

"I don't know anything for certain," he said. "I haven't asked."

"Well, Sasaki says you deserve to know. She used to hang out with some of our gang members, before it was his gang." _Why would he bother to tell me?_

"Some people are saying he has connections to the Yakuza."

"It's true. Mostly it doesn't get him anything, but he could have a job whenever he wanted one. He figures it'd be better to whip us into shape and take over this town. Then he won't come to the boss empty-handed. Tomoya resisted the urge to scowl. It was common knowledge that the mob would basically employ minors as part of a protection racket, trading delusions of grandeur for absurd percentages in whatever they collected. It was not as if drugs were an enormous problem in Japan, but there had been a recent rise in easy-to-obtain amphetamines, which already raised concern because of how dangerous they were. The Yakuza had been known to use the street gangs to sell the drugs with whatever markup they wanted, among other things... and people.

Prostitution was another problem that was there and not there at the same time. Loopholes and loose interpretations of the law made it easy enough for sex workers to do business in a limited capacity, but there was still an illegal market. Wealthier than other countries in the region, Japan was a destination for sex traffickers, but it was not only girls from other countries in the region who were part of the trade. Runaway teenage girls were subject to exploitation, as well as those who just associated with the wrong people, which was a large part of the reason parents were trying to keep an eye on them at all times.

"Well, good luck with that. If you came here to tell me about Sakagami, I knew about the rumors." _What I can't figure out is why they would bother to confirm them for my sake._ He left without further note, and the gang members gave up. Walking to Sunohara's dorm, he had a mind to get Mitsurugi to stop helping in the campaign, since that would not technically be using his knowledge to the advantage of the other candidate, and he had an idea of how to do it. He knocked on the door and found Sagara, the dorm mother.

"Are you looking for Sunohara? I keep hearing a girl in his room." She wore an appropriately confused expression.

"She's a relative of his, visiting, I think. He probably forgot about the rule, but I guess you've never had to remind him of it."

"Hm. I had thought he worked out a deal with that rugby player from across the hall. I thought he had a girlfriend who was staying over, but would not agree to stay in his room. I heard you told everyone in the hall that he's been gay this whole time." _Huh. I should have figured that would get out._ "It seemed like the conditions were right for him to make an arrangement with that guy."

"You'd be surprised."

"What?" She shook her head. "Never mind. Don't even tell me if he's really gay or not; I don't want to know."

"Oh, well, it's not a permanent fix or anything. I wouldn't be surprised if he totally ruins it for himself in a week."

"That's okay. I'll take having quiet halls for another week."

He found the dorm as always, though Mitsurugi was in, meaning he would not be able to speak frankly with his friend. _I can't just tell him that he's a guy. That would be cheating to help Sakagami win. I'm only willing to do that if there's no other way, like if he's set to win in a landslide._

"How did you get your voice so high?" he asked as soon as he came in. He found the two of them sitting next to each other on the floor.

"My voice has always been high," Sunohara responded in a falsetto. He looked in the wastebasket and found a cannister for some sort of gas. _Helium. I'm a dumbass._

"I see. Perhaps I was just used to your faking having a lower voice."

"It was really tiring. I didn't particularly like having to do it every day... but it kept me here..." he trailed off, staring at the rugby player with doe eyes. It seemed his acting was getting better by the minute. His 'boyfriend' even met his eyes, and neither of them broke away. Their hands slowly drifted together on the floor.

"Oh, just stop..."

"Oh, sorry, Okazaki," Mitsurugi said. "I didn't suspect that you might be jealous."

"I'm not. Just try to keep your displays of affection to a minimum."

"Oh, that's not going to be a problem," he responded. "Mei doesn't like being touched by guys who know she's a girl. It makes things... serious."

"I see. I'm glad you're honoring her requests. Do you do everything she asks?"

"No. She asked me to read that manga, but I couldn't get through the first volume. It's way too girly."

"Well, there's one other thing she's asked you to do that you probably shouldn't do. You shouldn't help her get elected. Sakagami is a better candidate by a thousand-"

"I know-" It looked like Sunohara was about to interrupt, but the rugby player raised a hand. "-I know, it's a bit irresponsible, but what kind of boyfriend wouldn't help? I mean, she just asks me and she just pouts so cutely whenever I say I have something to do..."

Tomoya started to question the morality of his actions. He had essentially created the necessary circumstances for a guy to fall in love with another guy who was using him. It was not as if he had ever given moral concerns much weight in his mind; usually he just saw them as an afterthought if they came up at all, but either he had changed a lot in the past few days or his sense of what was a present reality and what was an afterthought had been mixed up. _If all that... with Ryou actually happened... I don't want to end up like that._

"That's not really a fair thing for her to ask of you," he said at length. _I'm talking out of my ass, but I can back it up in a minute._ "If you would rather vote for someone else, she should really be supporting you. You don't have to agree on who should be student council president."

"That's enough out of you!" the blonde boy objected, his voice still falsely high.

"No, that's true," Mitsurugi said. "It's okay if you have different ideas about who should be president. That's just how it is sometimes."

"But you should be supporting me, shouldn't you?" _Wait a minute. I've been looking at this the wrong way. I don't need to tell anyone that he's a guy- Sunohara doesn't need my help to lose a relationship._

"Well, that's a good point," Tomoya conceded. "He's got as much reason to support you as you have to support him. It wouldn't be right for him to hold it against you even if you ran against his preferred candidate." Shifting the discussion had proved an effective tactic with his teachers, so he had no doubt he could run circles around his friend with it.

"I promise I'm not going to hold it against you for running. It's just... well, when Okazaki brings it up all of a sudden, it's pretty obvious that a serious student like Sakagami would be a better president. She even asked a few of the teams to vote for her and explained what she would be doing with the job." _Well, who would have guessed. I really didn't need to help her all that much._

"I didn't know she talked to some of the school's teams, but that's a good idea. What did she say?" _I need to get him to admit that he doesn't actually have any policies and that he's just running to spite her._ "Did she talk about her policies?"

"Yeah, she explained her system for when the different teams can use the soccer field. That would have been good a while ago, since we only went to the park because the soccer team was practicing on the field." _I guess there are only so many fields the school can really own._ When he had been in basketball, there were some teams that would use the gym every so often, but it was probably worse for some sports than others.

"That's good; I hope the teams were all happy with it. She might have brought them all together to explain it to them all at once," Tomoya continued. _I could see the soccer team complaining about not getting the field all the time, but being less likely to do that if the rugby team were there with them._ At the same time, it would have been a logistical nightmare and any time the teams were brought together, they would probably be there for a more important reason than listening to a candidate speak.

"What are your policies?" Mitsurugi asked, looking at Sunohara. He resisted the urge to smirk, but the relationship and the campaign had been sunk in a stroke, and he had not even had to ask the question himself. _I've got you now._

"I'm doing all the same things as Sakagami." _What._ "I want you to support me. No matter what I have to do, I want you to support me. I know I can win if I have the same policies as my opponent." He seemed to think for a minute. "Wait, no, I'll wait until she says something, and then I'll come up with something that goes a tiny bit further. That way people won't think I just copied her."

"Yes, they will-" he started back.

"Well, that's not so bad. She can think of all the policies as long as I win the election. I've never been running on policy anyway."

"Interesting," Tomoya observed. "What exactly have you been running-"

"She's been running on popularity," the rugby player said. "She said as long as everyone loves her, then she's the right candidate. It won't hurt to have good policies."

He had been hoping to communicate that Sunohara had been running on spite, or some sort of jealousy, but it appeared that base had already been covered. He had a full cover story to keep his boyfriend from figuring it out. _At this point I don't care how much I have to help Sakagami. I'm not letting this idiot win._

Making an excuse to walk out, he looked around for Sagara, but saw she was missing. He wanted to shout at his friend, but giving away the secret was a massive breach of trust that had all stemmed from his own actions. He had even asked Sunohara to go along with the idea of being a girl in disguise, and if it did anything or not, he had asked Miyazawa to put a spell on him. _I'm still not sure that even was what did it, but I can't think of any other explanation he's been so good at acting. Are those books really that girly?_

Whenever he ran into Sakagami again, he would have to tell her that if she had a problem with the election being determined by a shogi game, she should have a problem with it being determined by a singing contest, which it would, unless she did something. The problem was that most high schoolers were not going to take a step back and appreciate her refusal to descend to the level of her opponent. There was a chance they would do so once they were adults, but it was just out of the question at this point. _Once Shinzo takes over for Junichiro, they'll start paying attention- wait... is that something I remember?_

He hardly had any interest in politics, but he listened to the news once a week or something. He would have been aware of it if Japan's long time prime minister were to be replaced. _I would have had to have remembered it if I knew Shinzo took over... whoever he is. I should start writing my memories down._

One thing he was not particularly eager to remember, however, was how he had treated Ryou when she came to see him. He must have been going through something; that was the only thing that even approached an excuse for how he acted... that and the alcohol. He had never been a passionate rule-follower, so his never having had a sake before had more to do with his lack of interest than the legality of it. _.. that and the fact that my father has already drunk himself into forgetting he has a son._

He was not looking forward to going home. He never did, really, and that was always something that other kids had over him. They had a place they could call home. He supposed Kotomi's house counted for something, but a pleasant childhood memory hardly counted as a home. _I really wish I could remember something that had to do with her. It was probably a memory from the future telling me we were friends once; somehow that seems more likely than remembering something that happened before my mother died._

As the sun started to set, he decided that as little as he wanted to go home, there were worse things. Perhaps, if his father even cared, he would tell him about the wooden star. Perhaps not. Either way, he would find out, and either way, he would not have a chance of running into anyone. At the moment, there was one person in the world he wanted to see less than he wanted to see his father.


	15. Girls

Going home earlier than normal had been uneventful. He was forced to have dinner with his father, which was unpleasant, on the rare occasion that it took place, but at least the old man had the sense not to cook himself. The conversation was quiet. He forgot what he was going to bring up.

_It wasn't important anyway. What I need to do is talk to Kotomi._

At her request, he had left things at in a bad way, but the silence could not persist forever. At some point or another, he was going to have to tell her he was sorry for pulling a joke on her, but he was still trying to figure out how to say it. He had a way of putting off everything, including personal problems, so perhaps it could go another day, but if he happened to see her, he needed to know what to say right then. If one thing was certain, he was not having another shouting match with her, not with an old friend.

He caught sight of Ibuki-sensei on his way to school. _Maybe she's going to see Yoshino. Well, it's not like he has a job to do there every day._

"Hi," he said, the question he was going to ask disappearing out from under him.

"Oh, hi, Okazaki," she replied. "How are you today?"

"I'm okay. Do you have business at the school?" he asked.

"They called me in as a substitute and... I guess I couldn't say no." She paused. "I loved teaching art. They told me Furukawa would be in my class..." she trailed off, looking at him as though she were testing his reaction. _They must have been asking her to come back a few times if they knew they had to sweeten the deal somehow._

"Have you been busy with something else?"

"Oh, well, I'm still getting ready for... well, something that feels like it will never happen, but I suppose taking a day to visit the school will be fine." She looked ahead at the school as they reached the gate. "Have I told you that you seem a little mature for your age?"

"I get that sometimes," he lied. "I don't feel that way, though."

"Don't we all," the former teacher said. For a moment it looked like she was stifling a laugh. "I always thought my parents knew everything. I thought they just took everything in stride and never worried." It looked like she was waiting for a response.

"I can't say the same."

"Maybe that's why you grew up, then?" she supposed. "It was sort of like that in my family, I suppose, but, well, I already thought of myself as an adult when my parents died." _Does everyone lose their parents in this town- no, I'm being ridiculous; most of the people I know have both parents._ "That was how I started taking care of my sister, Fuko... but that did not last long."

He wanted to ask what happened. He wanted to ask if she knew that Fuko was wandering around the school, but he doubted he could do that either. Everything seemed like it was getting weirder and weirder by the minute. Furukawa could tell him not to ask all she liked, but sooner or later, it was going to come out. It felt like she was asking him to run, and for once he did not want to run. For once he wanted to see something through.

"Well, maybe that's why I grew up. I don't know. If I were grown up enough to get married, I wouldn't think I would need anyone else's permission to go through with it." He looked back as he went into the building. "I'd probably just do it and see what happened after that."

She answered him with only a sad smile as they parted to their respective classes.

Tomoya hoped he would retain some of his conviction even as he matured. Perhaps responsibility was what children always found boring about adults, but he always thought there was more to it. Sometimes it seemed like adults got into the habit of social self-preservation, constantly making sure they were not ruffling any feathers. Perhaps in trying so hard to be good role models, they looked perfect like marble statues, or perhaps by trying to be relatable to children, their words of advice meant nothing. There were more ways to get things wrong than get them right, and yet not trying made one boring.

It made the decision not to have kids an easy one. _I couldn't be a good role model to children, not that I would ever be able to get married. It's not like anyone will still talk to me after high school is over. If Sakagami wants to have a future in politics, it would be a death sentence._

He caught sight of Kotomi after his first class, but she said nothing to him. He reminded himself he wanted to tell Miyazawa about what had happened in the park, but that could at least wait until lunch. He had work to do before that. If anyone asked him about why he had been paying attention in class more, he would probably deflect the question somehow. _It's just so easy... it's hard to believe that for the past several years my job has been sitting down and taking notes._

Keeping it up until the class before lunch without event, he caught sight of a familiar figure passing by the door. He had a suspicion of who it might be, but it was a moot point. Someone was getting his attention about some problem with the homework, which he grudgingly answered. _Whatever... if they're so desperate that they would ask me for help, I might as well give it to them._ He had never had to make a particular effort not to get caught providing unauthorized assistance to other students. It was not something that had really come up.

After his classes let out for lunch he had a choice to make, and he already knew how he was going to go on it, so he did not waste time thinking about it. Of all the commitments he had, it made sense to go with the oldest, since that was how he did his overdue assignments. He found the girl in the regular library in the new school building, eating miso soup of all things. _There isn't a chance in hell I would be allowed to take that into a room with books. She must be some sort of regular._

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

"I'll live. I was always good at academics, so it's no trouble that I can't play the violin to save my life. It's only the last memory I have of my parents." She put her head down on the desk. He was surprised to find that she had no books out in front of her, but rather an eclectic array of magazines and a pair of scissors. There were numerous pages that had been cut up and rearranged.

"They let you do that with library materials?"

"I could set fire to a book and I would still be their favorite student. There are people who have said I might as well live here. They keep telling me that the librarian loves me more than my parents did."

"Why don't you tell them not to?"

"I don't care about them. I don't really talk to anyone." She sighed. "I wanted to give up talking to you, but here you are."

"That's what they all say." He thought for a moment. "You're still mad at me?"

"No, not really. I just expected more. You made me happy for a moment... like, happier than I've been in years, when you told me you remembered me. I thought it was impossible." _Maybe I should have let you believe it. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten your hopes up._ "I don't know why I'm still talking to you. I can't expect you to be honest."

"Can you expect me to be nice to you?"

"Not really. You didn't let me throw all the blame at you yesterday," she said, her head lowering back into the pile of magazine scraps. She could have been making a collage, he supposed, since there generally was not any information of value in magazines. "Don't think I didn't know it when I saw it. You were trying to help me."

There was a pause. He wondered what exactly she was accusing him of doing, or rather, being, but it was a pointless question.

"I guess I'm trying to help you some of the time and other times I was just worried that if I hurt your feelings, you'd never talk to me again. I guess I thought you might have been less annoyed if I kept doing the same thing."

His words seemed content to hang in the air. Perhaps he was waiting to see which of his expectations, exactly, had been proven false about his old friend. _She wouldn't be the same little girl I half-remember._

"Well, I'm sorry I have feelings," Kotomi said, not looking up. "I can't help it." She raised her head. "You were probably mostly right about being nice to me. I know I told you the right thing to do would have been telling me that I was terrible, but I would have been hurt." She stared upward, blinking once. "Would you look at that? The androgynous kid who used to run around with you went and grew into a regular girl..."

"You're not that regular."

"What?" She looked genuinely confused.

"Most girls wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with me."

"That's something I've noticed, actually. It seems most of your friends are girls. Well, I think Sakagami mentioned that your friends with her opponent's boyfriend, which is making things weird."

"It wasn't always like that. I used to have a ton of male friends through my team, but when I quit, they lost a good bit of respect for me. Most people don't realize I left because I was injured. I never bothered to tell them." _I would have had to tell them how I got injured._

"You're right; it does seem like a substantial percentage of the boys here are into athletics. I can understand how you never ended up making many friends after quitting basketball."

"They just want to get out of this town like everyone else. You can see the world playing sports. If nothing else, it's a way of getting into a good program at the university level." There was some point in wondering why the girls were not all doing the same, but perhaps they were and he did not notice. He would be the first to admit he had no interest at all in women's sports, and he doubted he would be the last.

He went and got his lunch once the crowd had died down a little, not particularly caring what it was he ate. For most kids, lunch was a snack. They ate little to counteract the markup of the cafeteria. Going back to class, he took care of some assignments during the more boring parts of the succeeding lectures. There was business to attend, and he had already at least made peace with Kotomi, leaving something he predicted to be less pleasant. _Well, at least it can't be any worse than that whole dream I had about the future... or the past, whatever it is._

Really, when thinking back to the vision, he had little to establish an explanation of what had happened. Seeing a future version of Ryou made time travel a possible explanation, but he would have remembered getting into a time machine or something like that. It was possible he was seeing his own future, but simultaneously it seemed impossible, since logically his own future had yet to be determined.

Classes were a chore, but he got through them, doing more of his work whenever the lecture reached a low point of interest for him. He had previously underestimated the effect that being disinterested had on his ability to learn, but he was starting to suspect his grades were making him look like an unteachable idiot to all of his teachers. _Lucky I haven't been in art class this whole time. I wouldn't be getting the same kind of grades, but I still wouldn't be interested in it at all. I've never been good at any kind of art._

After his last class he went to find Ibuki-sensei, who would be wrapping up her own class, assuming she was like most art teachers and let her students finish up what they were doing if it happened to be the last class of the day. Students were moving all around him in the rush to leave, but he caught sight of one in particular. _Fuko... what is she doing here?_

The door closed as the last student who was going out with the bell left, revealing the mysterious girl.

"That's your sister, right?"

"Yes."

"You can't see her, though..."

"I can see her. She can't see me." She was clutching one of those wooden stars. "I don't know why. I don't know what happened to me. My memories start... I don't know, a few weeks ago... I know she's getting married and... and I can hear her talking to me sometimes."

"Uh... are you alright?" he asked, guessing the opposite. _I don't know how to deal with her if she cries..._

"I'm alright as long as I'm helping her... it's all I can do... but I don't think it's working." She walked closer to him, her eyes on the ground. Glancing through the door's narrow window, he saw that Furukawa was still in class. He had a momentary curiosity of what she was making. "I've been at this for weeks, but it seems like people are forgetting about the wedding... maybe it's like you said and people are forgetting because I can't tell them when it will happen... but some people look right through me, like I'm not even there."

All at once Tomoya was filled with dread. An endless stream of questions coursed through his mind, but they all had the same answer. _You're talking to a dead girl, Tomoya. Your memories are being overwritten._ He could no longer hear what she was saying, even as she came closer. _No, that can't be it- Furukawa can see her too-_

"What can I do?" he asked. He wanted to run, but it was too late. He knew nothing of how to deal with crying girls, and he could be a hundred percent certain he would have one on his hands unless he helped her. "I'll come to the wedding. I'll come to the wedding if it's in a thousand years, just tell me how I can help you..."

"How can you help me when you forget about me?" Fuko asked, a desperate look in her eye. "Yesterday... Nagisa was in a competition. She told everyone to go to Ibuki-sensei's wedding. She performed her heart out, and she said the choral club would be happy to perform there, wherever the wedding was being held." _That's why she took the job as a substitute today. That's why Fuko's been staring into the room this whole time._

"She wanted to address the rumors... and you watched her address them."

"She said the wedding wasn't happening... and it's because of me."

"It's not your fault. She's just not ready to have it. That doesn't mean it will never happen." _It does mean that the trick of holding their reputations hostage won't work... what were we thinking, just promising everyone that she was getting married? Of course she'd come here and deny it rather than just making the rumors true._

"She told Nagisa what happened to me. I didn't see what she said, but I saw her reaction." She threw her arms around him. "If... if it works like it seems, once she finds out about me, she'll start to forget about me. Please, Okazaki, please don't forget about me..."

"I'll... I'll try." Memories flooded in of little details about Fuko, what she wanted, what she was like once, and a strange scene where he was all alone surrounded by party favors. "I know you don't know much about me..."

"You're all I have. Most people can hear me a moment, but then they look away..."

The art teacher left the room, waving to him as she passed by. Tomoya could not smile back to her. He could not have said he tried. The strange girl kept her face buried in his abdomen, refusing to look at the sister who could not see her. At some point Furukawa came out.

"Okazaki... please don't ask what happened to Fuko."

"I won't. You can see her now, right?"

"Yes, I can see her."

"You haven't started to forget her, have you?"

"How would I know?" She knelt a little, leveling herself with the other girl. "I promise I'll keep doing everything I can. Please don't give up. No matter what you do, please don't give up. We'll make sure there's a wedding."

Tomoya could not tell if she believed it or if she lied through her teeth, but he knew he would have to help her either way. He never wanted to make a girl cry, whether he had done it before or not.


	16. Allies and Strategy

It seemed like the right thing to walk Furukawa home that evening. He had done it once, and for the time being, in a limited capacity, they would have to be working together to help Fuko. There was a deafening silence between them, as he did not know whether to ask about the conversation she had with Ibuki-sensei.

"Um... I think I know why Ibuki-sensei and her boyfriend can't see Fuko," the girl said at length. "I just can't tell you, because then you would forget too."

"You're probably right. I'm not that good at remembering people," he said, thinking of Kotomi. "I'll probably forget you, too."

"I think they were the first who could not see her. That was why she went around the school asking people to come to their wedding. If they were the first, it could be because they were the closest to her."

"She said she had only been in the school for a few weeks, though she might have been there longer than she can remember. When Yoshino talked about what happened to her, it sounded like it must have been a few years at least."

"I think I figured it out," Furukawa said, hanging her head. _That's right... she was always good at figuring things out... better than she needed to be-_ With a jolt he remembered the feeling of despair, and felt the need to distance himself.

"You probably shouldn't tell me. Maybe write it down in case you start to forget it. It seems likely that you'd forget it."

"Well, I could do that, but I'm worried the words... might lose their meaning," she said, stopping in front of the bakery. "I can't show it to you if I do write it down."

"That's okay. It should keep you aware of everything a little longer." _Even if it's just that, it should help. I don't know what I would do if I were all on my own._ "Did Ibuki-sensei tell everyone the wedding wasn't happening?"

"No, she just said that she had not set a date for it." Tomoya brightened a little. _Maybe I got through to her some._ "I think she came to tell people not to get there hopes up."

"Where did she think you had heard that there were plans?"

"That was why she made sure to have an art class with me. She asked me how important family was." _I guess it's lucky she didn't ask how important it was to me._ "I was... painting a picture of the big dango family. I told her that family was everything."

"I see." It seemed that her father was coming to the storefront. _It'll be best if I'm on my way._

"She told me she couldn't just put herself above her sister while she was still... I can't say it. Even if it didn't do her any good, even if there was no reason to feel guilty... even if her sister would have wanted her to get married..."

"What are you doing here?" the girl's father asked, opening the door and dragging her behind him. _Where's her mother? Is she in the back or something?_

"Okazaki was just walking me home, daddy..." Furukawa explained. "He says mean things sometimes, but he's not really mean." The man had a nonplussed expression for a moment, but discarded it quickly.

"You haven't done anything lewd, have you? If you have, I'll kick your ass."

"I haven't done anyth-" He looked to his daughter.

"He hasn't... I would know if he did anything lewd..." _What was the point of asking me, then?_

"Has he looked at your butt?"

"I wouldn't know..." She had her eyes shut tightly and her fists balled at the hem of her skirt.

"Has he walked behind you at any point?"

"...how else is he supposed to walk me home?" she asked, opening her eyes to look up at her father.

"In the house!" he shouted. She squealed and scurried in with her head down. "I'll bet you're proud of yourself."

"Not really. I didn't bring your daughter home to stare at her-"

"You didn't?"

"No. I don't know her that well; I was only doing the polite-" He took a step forward.

"What's wrong with Nagisa's butt?" he asked quietly. _Somehow I feel it would have been less intimidating if he shouted._

"I was just worried you'd kick my ass."

There was a brief silence.

Furukawa clapped him on the shoulder and laughed heartily.

"You're damn right I would!" _How did I know-_ "My daughter has the cutest butt in the whole world- and I'd say that in front of her."

"I'm sure."

"The only good reason not to look is what I'll do to you." _That and I have no interest in- well, that's not the whole picture. I have an interest in staying away from your daughter._ "I'll see you later, Okazaki."

"Yeah."

He walked home. His father wanted to know what the wooden star was, but he could not have had less time for the man. He told him that Fuko made it and he'd rather it not be thrown out, but he could have it if he wanted. Tomoya was tired, and he went upstairs without further comment. Somehow the day had taken a lot out of him, and he hoped his dreams would not reflect what all had taken place.

The following morning brought with it the fragmented remains of whatever vision had visited him in sleep.

_I guess I still haven't had another one of those dreams... I guess that thing with Ryou might really have been just a dream._

In either case, it no longer made sense to avoid her. It would definitely look bad, and there was a chance she could help him with the wedding situation. She had a good number of friends, which would help with filling out the guest list, and she was organized, suggesting she could help plan it if necessary. It was the kind of thing where he might have asked Sakagami if he had not been so sure she was busy. _Kotomi's already helping me with something and Kyou doesn't have the right... skill set for this sort of thing._

On his way to school he caught sight of a strange gentleman, but thought little of him. He seemed to be looking at the students as they passed by, which got his attention for the moment. _He looks a bit too old to be the father of anyone in high school. Well, some men get married later in life._

The subject of marriage was actually a confusing one for him. On one hand, he really had no aspirations to do it himself, since he doubted there was a girl out there who would put up with him long enough to so much as date him, but it always seemed like such a happy thing. He figured that not having a mother for a substantial part of his life probably made him long for a complete family, and somewhere in there he probably started to idealize the family. _That's why the Furukawas get to me. I've never seen parents act like that around their kid._

Perhaps he could ask them a few questions here and there without getting close to their daughter, but if the mother was anything like any other mother, she would start to suspect something, even though there was nothing there. Perhaps they thought it was charming for their children to take an interest in the opposite sex, but according to his contemporaries the constant speculation was annoying. There was a joke that if you so much as brought up a female friend's name, your mother had already picked out the names of your children. An old friend from the basketball team even broke up with a girl just because his mother kept making things weird.

_Looking back on it, breaking up with her was definitely a dumb thing to do because she never did anything to deserve it, but I guess it shut his mother up the next time he had a date. I hope it was worth it. I wouldn't know._

He did not see anyone before class because he had taken his sweet time getting into the building, and perhaps it was better to keep up his reputation as a delinquent, if in a moderate sense. Ryou turned to face him as soon as their first class was over. She had a stack of papers for him, which he was tempted to toss out the window, but he shoved them in his bag instead.

"Um... you've been getting to school on time," she started. "I hope you don't have anything against me, just because..."

"No, I get it. It's probably for the best." As he spoke he remembered his dream self telling her that he should have chosen her. _As if I could have just had my pick. Why did I automatically believe the dream was my future? It isn't even realistic._

"Oh, well, that's good... I should probably tell you..." She shook her head. "No, put it this way, my sister and I still want to hang out with you."

"That would be good. I'd like to have lunch with you two every so often." _It doesn't have to be a romantic thing. It doesn't have to-_ "I wanted to ask if Furukawa had told you about her old teacher getting married."

"Well, she did tell everyone. Before that, though, she told Kyou and me everything. She heard from a girl named Fuko that Ibuki-sensei was going to be married and we were all invited."

"That's good. There's a complication, though. She wants to get married, but she feels like she would be leaving her family behind."

"Does her family not want her to get married?"

"I don't know exactly what it is," Tomoya responded, not exactly lying. "I just think that there's some problem she can't fix, and she's just not going to allow herself to be happy until... I don't know."

"That seems like what Nagisa told us," Ryou responded, adopting a thoughtful expression. _This isn't as hard as I thought. I've only remembered that dream once._ "I can tell you that I've always wanted to be... married... to find the perfect guy..."

"She likes the guy; it's not really a problem on his end. She says she feels lucky to have him."

Class started. Apparently the teacher had come in without their noticing, and shot them a glare. _That's right, she's class rep... she's supposed to announce class is starting, or at least be ready for it._ The two of them shuffled through their bags to get out the proper materials. _At least he doesn't expect much of me._

He paid attention in his next few classes, but allowed his mind to wander a little. It was well that he could get Fujibayashi in on the plan without making it about Fuko, who could be forgotten. It occurred to him that he had not seen Sunohara in class in a few days. _Well, as far as the school knows, he was really a girl this whole time, but his disguise probably isn't good enough to work in class. It's not like Mitsurugi's an idiot, it's just that he's probably never had a girlfriend before, so he's never been in close quarters with one._ It was weird to think that the rugby player, generally admired by the girls he knew had not had one before, but it was possible and it was really the only explanation.

Tomoya figured his friend was probably getting his papers taken to him somehow, most likely through his boyfriend, who was proving himself a real lynchpin in the plan to get elected to get back at Sakagami for winning in a fight. Conceptually, he had to acknowledge that it was a good plan, overlooking the fact that a fair few improbable factors had worked out in Sunohara's favor. For the life of him he could not say whether it was more embarrassing for a guy to lose a fight with a girl or for a girl to lose what was becoming a beauty and popularity contest against a guy. _I need to find her today. We have to get this sorted out before the poll numbers are out. When do they come out again?_

Class was getting too boring for him to keep caring about it. _I'll find Kyou. She'll be willing to help me with this damn election._ Deciding to skip the last class before lunch, he went over to the door, but the next teacher arrived early. _Damn._ Pretending to have a question about the material, he manufactured an excuse for having been at the door and the teacher asked to see him a minute before lunch started.

 _That couldn't have gone worse. Now I have to sit through this class and waste some time later._ Physics was hardly his best subject, but at least it made sense. He could generally sit still long enough to be within the rules of classroom decorum and write down what he was supposed to write down. He probably tested better on physics than on most other subjects, though it was not because he paid any special attention to studying it. _Resistors... oppose the flow of electric current. Transistors... amplify or switch signals._ All of a sudden he wondered if this was the kind of thing Yoshino had to know for his job. _Doesn't sound too hard, really._ He had not spent much of the money he had received. His father allotted a reasonably generous allowance, considering he bought all his own food.

There was a convenience store on the way to school, and usually he could pick something up on the way to Sunohara's dorm, but he always made sure to eat it before getting there. There was no need, after all, for him to know that he went every day and never got him anything. _It's something I could afford once or twice, but never more than that._ From time to time he would pick up something from the cafeteria, which would usually still have some food that had not been sold at lunch. Anpan made him think of Furukawa for some reason. _Why is that standing out in my memory? Does it have something to do with- no, how could that possibly relate to whatever disaster happened?_

He found Kyou at lunch with Kotomi of all people. _I didn't know they knew each other._

"Oh, Tomoya, do you want to work together this evening?" the latter asked. He raised an eyebrow, not having expected to be forgiven immediately. "Don't worry about it. I'll meet you outside the school."

"That sounds like a good idea. I've written the paper, so you can check it for grammatical mistakes."

"Oh? I thought we were turning it in at the end of the term."

"No, I got bored of that idea. I'm not telling the truth about what happened in my life anyway. I hate having this thing hanging over me."

"I understand that," Kotomi said. "That's why I get everything done the night it's assigned." She got up. "Speaking of assignments, I have more than enough to occupy my time."

Kyou looked to him.

"So you're working together...?"

"That's all it is. We're old friends."

"What? I wasn't asking about that- I was asking about what you were doing together- get your mind out of the gutter!" She stared at him over her upturned nose and lightly pursed lips. Tomoya gave her a minute to think before responding.

"I was the one who told you that we were only old friends."

"Well, yes, but is there any reason you would think I would want to know that? I wouldn't care one bit if you were... doing it with Kotomi... she's not my sister, after all."

"I don't know. Most girls would probably think something was going on since she used my given name. Like I said, she's an old friend." Kyou's way of speaking seemed evasive, but there was nothing for it. He had never figured out what it was when a girl was hiding something, and he would not start now. "Anyway, the reason I wanted to see you is because I need some help with Sakagami's campaign. Somehow I ended up as her campaign manager-"

"That's an oversight if I ever saw one."

"It's all unofficial. My point is, she doesn't seem to want to descend to Sunohara's level in order to win, and I don't know what else to suggest."

"Well, isn't that her strategy? That people will acknowledge that she's the better candidate who isn't resorting to cheap tricks?"

"Yes, it is, and it would work if we weren't in high school. We basically invented unreasonable elections."

"I guess I should ask what exactly you're suggesting before writing it off."

"I want her to beat her opponent in something. It doesn't matter what; anything that takes a brain would suffice. She just needs to beat her opponent and keep challenging her to other things after that." He sighed. "She's refused to go along with my plans so far, but we need to get out ahead of the poll numbers."

"Oh... about that," Kyou said.

"She's losing, isn't she?"

"That's why I was talking to Kotomi. I heard she was friends with Sakagami, or at least working with her on something, and I was going to try to get her to help."

"Well, it's good that we're all on the same page, I suppose."

"Oh, well, about that..."


	17. Really Trying

There was an indescribable tension in the air.

"What do you mean?" he asked after a moment.

"I didn't know about the polls until I saw her," Kyou said. "Lunch is ending anyway, so... you should probably see her yourself." She started walking off, then stopped and turned around. "And don't even think about anything lewd with her!" He nearly choked on his food. "I just know you'd be... into that sort of thing! Pervert!"

Tomoya did not think anyone had been paying any particular attention to what she was shouting, but he supposed that was what happened when you shouted all the time. _In either case it's not like I've cared what people thought of me for the last three years at least._ He got up and went to class, but took a detour through the old school building. He saw the young man from the gang, Sudou.

"You're not supposed to be in the building."

"I know that, but it's an emergency. We can't find this man named Kinoshita and we think Miyazawa might know where he is."

"You're worried about what happens if the other guys get to him first." Sudou nodded. "I've run into them. I'll pass along the message if I see her, but she's probably early for a class somewhere. I can't make any promises about-"

"I know. Thank you."

For a rough and rugged young man to offer such a sincere expression of gratitude, the situation must have been desperate. _This gang situation... I don't even know what's going on. I don't particularly want to get involved with it, but I might already be involved- I know they want Sakagami._

In class they went over some of the events leading up to the second world war, which started with the Great Japanese Empire invading China. He had trouble remembering the reasons the officers cited for the invasion, because they mostly seemed like excuses, so he looked at the list again while another student was asking why the Korean peninsula had not been seized first. _China was a target of higher value. They needed to subjugate it before the Soviets could get it._

Setting down the book a moment, he thought of the gang conflict. It was not as if either gang had a direct parallel to a real country, either present or historic, but they functioned similarly. The world that had been settled by humans was sort of like a massive city without any police, and there were gangs controlling different territories. Some were stronger than others, some had more internal conflict, but they all had their own symbols and they all had their own pretexts for the way they acted. In his limited experience, it was common for one gang to claim another attacked them first, or encroached upon their territory, or was simply an intolerable existence. They all seemed inclined to have their own version of history.

After classes were over he found Sakagami in a classroom where he had seen her before, though at first he almost did not recognize her. She was wearing her hair up in her hat and she had a jacket from a young man's uniform, possibly borrowed from the lost and found or something. It was a strange sight.

"Hi... Okazaki," she said, looking away almost as soon as he went in.

"Hi, Sakagami. What's the reason for the wardrobe change?"

"Oh... I just... figured it wasn't working out."

"Don't tell me you're giving up on the campaign. I think I might have worked harder for this than-"

"No!" she objected quickly. "I... I just can't compete with her. She's so cute and feminine..."

"You'd be surprised what she's like in person."

"I know... you probably think I'm being..."

"You're being extremely silly, to say the least." _I can't sugar coat it. Besides, I like the way she's flinching._ "It's like... have you ever played any videogames before?"

"Street fighter..." she said quietly, nearly whispering.

"Right, so some characters are just better at doing some things than others. It's fine, it's all balanced out. I'm pretty sure none of them are entirely useless, even if you've got a favorite or a least favorite. They made the game so that any character could beat any other character, you just have to play your character to his or her strengths."

"But- but I feel like that's what I'm doing..." Sakagami said at length. "I can't win at being... pretty and popular."

"Yes, you can. You just haven't tried that yet. You could beat Sunohara any day of the week. If someone had the two of you stand next to each other, you wouldn't even think your opponent was a girl."

"I mean..."

"I've asked Kyou for help. She wants you to win, so if you ask her, she could easily... I don't know, give you a makeover, whatever girls normally do in this context."

It was not as if she had been dressing in a particularly masculine fashion, and he was pretty sure she at least did something with her eyelids. It was that she was naturally pretty, so she never felt the need to try as much as most girls. _Is that something I remember or did I figure it out more recently?_ Sakagami responded to his suggestion with only a slow nod. He was cautiously optimistic that Ryou might help as well, but the candidate did not need as much help as she thought in the way of acting feminine.

Tomoya looked for Kotomi at the school gate, but oddly he did not see her on his way there. _She's usually already here whenever..._

"Okazaki," a voice called out. He found her crouched behind a tree.

"What are you-"

"Is there anyone waiting for me at the gate?"

"No. I would be if I hadn't-"

"Okay, thanks."

They walked for a moment in silence. _Someone must have been waiting for her, but she hid. I guess it could've been a gang member. Why would any of them wait for her, though? Was she just assuming that?_

"Hey, so who was-"

"I don't know. I don't know, but he recognized me. I pretended like I forgot something, but I couldn't risk his following me into the school."

"That was when you got the idea to hide behind a tree." _I guess I can't tell her not to be worried if she was the one who saw the guy. Could've been a creep._ "If you'd like, I could keep walking you home."

"Oh? You're almost out of a reason to see me."

"I wasn't just coming to see you so I could work on my paper. I'm lazy and I like to hit two birds with one stone."

"So I was the other bird?" she asked. _Stop asking loaded questions._

"No, I wouldn't hit you with a stone. I'd hit you with some rude comment about your parents."

Kotomi feigned injury. She seemed to acknowledge that she still struggled with losing her parents, at least when she was around him. _Well, I've been her friend since she used to do all sorts of embarrassing things. She probably thinks she couldn't hide anything from me if she tried._

They reached her house and distracted themselves with work until the foster mother brought in a pot of tea with cups. She was thanked. The tea was pretty good if it could not be called his usual selection.

"I don't get it."

"What? I can help if you're stuck on something."

"These people try so hard-"

"I know. They're not my parents." She paused. "I know they can't help it, but I just can't... appreciate them as if they were my parents. I'll always remember them and I'll always love them... and they'll always be my parents." She looked back down at her book. "I've apologized for being a burden to them... not being able to return their affection-"

"Why don't you apologize for being a fucking drag?" Kotomi blinked. "I can't believe _I'm_ telling you to just _try-"_

"I mean, I don't think I've heard that one before. I've been called a girl genius before, a nerd, a stuck-up bitch, but I don't think anyone's ever insulted me on the grounds of how I treat my foster parents."

"Don't change the subject-"

"So you're telling me what I need to hear now? You're not being nice?"

"That's the definition of changing the-"

They must have been raising their voices. Tomoya knew he was, the moment he thought about it. Whatever happened, the old man and woman were standing right there. Nothing was said for a moment. _Might be pretending they couldn't hear us earlier. I think that's the polite thing to do._

"Sorry, we'll keep our voices down," Kotomi said quietly. They left the room, though he doubted that was the last conversation they were going to have with her. _Have they never discussed this sort of thing?_ He thought about it. _Well, I wouldn't want to discuss it either. It's probably one of those things you always intend to discuss but never get around do it._ "Are you happy now?"

"When will you be happy? That's what they want."

"Well, I can't give it to them. I don't expect you to understand, but I can't just open up to people. I didn't even talk to anyone before your friends saw me talking to you."

"That'd be fine if you didn't lecture me about trying in school. I didn't think that was some kind of moral imperative..." _It's not surprising she doesn't talk to people. She's not mean or anything, she's just abrasive and not that sensitive. She actually acts more like a guy than Kyou, come to think of it._

Another pause came and went. It seemed she was less than adept at handling criticism, which made sense at least. If she had gone most of her life without being criticized, it stood to reason she would have a hard time with it, and she would also be more willing to dish it out herself out of a lack of sympathy. He remembered the time he caught her cutting pages out of magazines.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. _She's probably never had to apologize to a friend before either._ "I think I should help you do better in school, and I think we should both do our best to be a little nicer to the people who care about us."

They left it at that for the moment and kept working. True to her word, Kotomi offered advice of where to look in the books every time he had something wrong. It almost let him believe he was going to college for a moment. _No, it's too late to just make a sudden turnaround like that. Mathematically I can't raise my grades enough to where they would be good enough to get into anywhere worthwhile, even if I do a good job on the finals._

He thought about his future again, or what he wanted his future to be. It seemed at least possible he could get a job requiring a brain if he had good grades; he could think of a few that required that without requiring a degree. Really, most high schoolers had less of an idea of the job market than they thought, because most high schoolers never looked to see what jobs were available and what their minimum requirements were. _There might be a website that shows you that kind of thing in the future. Might even be something I remember._

When he eventually went home, having no desire to go visit Sunohara, definitely not so late at night, it occurred to him that his father might be at least acting like he cared, sometimes, and if he were to take his friend's advice seriously at all, he would have to make a token effort to say something to the man sometimes. _The teachers don't understand that he genuinely doesn't think of me as his son. The guidance counselor has been trying to arrange a conference with him, but he's just going to tell them that I can do whatever I want. It doesn't even matter if that's something I remember. I would be able to predict that anyway. I think._

Opening the door, he called out that he was home, something he had not done in at least three years. His father was still awake, sitting by the table.

"Tomoya. It's so nice to hear your voice."

"Oh, hi, I didn't know you were up." _His words are always nice. It's the way he abdicates responsibility that I don't like. Well, it's a moot point soon enough. I'll be out of here._

"Well, sometimes I get home early and wait for you." He smiled. "I'm happy that you're so busy, you know. I was worried that you were going to end up like I did."

"Uh, yeah. I always keep myself busy, that's why I'm home so late."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No, it's nothing like that," he said. "I was studying with a friend this evening, sometimes I'm... I don't know, trying to help someone with something." He stood there a moment, and wondered what else there was to say. It was easier than he thought, talking to his father, since the stakes were so impossibly low. _No matter what, I'm out of here in a matter of weeks._

"That's good. I had hoped you would grow up like your mother." _Did she do stuff like this? What was her life like?_

Tomoya went up to his room, deciding there was no need to prolong the conversation. After all, it was not as if his father had changed a bit- for all his hoping and waiting, he took no action to put his son on the right path. _Well, he probably doesn't know where to find it himself. When my mother was alive, he was always the backup parent._ The conversation felt more real, even if he were just sounding off about something that happened in his life. He was completely uninterested in what his father did for work, since it sounded unbearable. He was an accountant, and apparently the position paid really well, but the amount of work hardly seemed worth it.

When he woke up the following morning, he realized he must have fallen asleep at some point, lying in bed lost in thought. He did not remember his dreams as he got himself ready or went outside, but he figured he was going to be a little late. _That's fine though. No one's even going to notice if I'm a few minutes late._ On the way to school, however, he ran into Mitsurugi.

"Hi, Okazaki. I had a question."

"Yeah?"

"Do you know anything about arguing with people?"

"I've had to do it more times than I'd have liked." It was not as if he lived in fear of it, but it was serious mental effort he did not care to expend. It also felt like if he tried hard enough to win, he could lose a friend in the process. When SARS came out of China in 2003, it was so taboo to bring up shooting patients it quickly became unthinkable, despite the fact that there were predictions that all of Japan could be infected. Fortunately it turned out to be a less than deadly strain of coronavirus, and the patients generally recovered. Once that information was revealed, the people who fearfully suggested killing the people who had it were treated as idiots. _Well, they were idiots who were scared enough to say something rather than being scared into silence._

"Oh, well, do you know if you could explain the basic concept of it?" the rugby player asked. "Like, think of someone who's a complete beginner."

"Okay, well, it might help to know what you're arguing. If you know what the other guy is going to say, you try to come up with how to counter that ahead of time." There was a brief silence. Tomoya had a sneaking suspicion that this was a lover's quarrel, loath though he was to call it that. It was not the first time he felt bad for lying to the young man. Arguments against significant others tended to be hard to win, or even bring to a satisfying conclusion, since it was even more likely you could bring something up that your opponent would not like.

"I see. I need to do some research on my opponent, then."

"Yes, that would help. What also helps, though, is to learn some of the logical tricks people can try to use on you, so that you can recognize them."

"Like what?" He seemed surprised.

"Well, I don't know, if people insult you, they might be right about what they're saying, but they're just trying to distract the audience from the point. If their point can stand without the insult, they wouldn't need to insult you, so in some cases, insulting you means they know they're losing."

"Oh, well, I don't think our opponent will insult us, but that's good."

Tomoya stopped, nearly at school.

"Who exactly is your opponent?"

"Uh... Sakagami."


	18. Conflict Resolution

That the candidates would be having a debate was good for Sakagami.

That it was Sunohara's idea had him somewhat worried.

His first few classes were easy enough; he was probably just lucky, though. It seemed unlikely he was understanding everything. He took a break between classes to ask Ryou if she had heard about the plan and if she could help in any way.

"Oh, did she mention that to Kyou?" she asked. _Must not have passed it along. Well, I guess she wouldn't think she would need her sister's help. She does, though._

"I'm not sure. It was the end of yesterday when I suggested it. I was going to suggest she ask you, but I don't know if you're voting for her. It seemed unfair."

"Oh... well, it's fine as long as you ask me first. What does she want?" She looked around as she spoke. "Does she just want to win?"

"No, that's her opponent. Sakagami wants to save the cherry blossoms along the path. You can look at the other stuff she wants to get done while she's president, and she has a whole year to do it."

"Well, I guess she would be better for the school, it's just, well, Sugisaka..."

"Is she voting for Sunohara?"

"I'll tell you later."

The next class started, but it did not stop him from getting an idea of what happened. Kyou had told him there were girls who thought that voting against the 'pretty, popular' candidate was necessarily an act of jealousy. It was an annoying way of looking at things, but apparently it was more common than he thought. _I wonder if I'm going to remember high school as being this annoying. I can't say how many adults have already said that these are the best years of my life._

Class was over again and he went to find Miyazawa before lunch started. There were plenty of other things on his mind, but he wanted to get to the bottom of her situation first. They couldn't just keep having gang members running through the school; before long Sakagami would have to either fight them or admit defeat, and he did not want her in the position of figuring out which was worse. He was still figuring it out himself.

She was in the reference room.

"Are you a gang leader?" he asked. _It's better to get the ambiguity out of the way._

"No, my brother is. Sometimes I relay things for him." She looked less annoyed than expected. _She never exactly made a secret of it, but I always felt like I wasn't supposed to ask about it. Why did I feel that way?_

"Okay, well, what was that business yesterday with Kinoshita? Who even is he?"

"Do you want to know?"

"Well, I just asked, so-"

"Sometimes people ask things without thinking about whether or not they want to know." Her tone had not changed from the bubbly, amicably polite one he recognized. He acted like he was thinking about it. _I'm not just going to not get to the bottom of this._

"I want to know what's so important that it's making all your brother's gang members beat a path through the school."

"Kinoshita is the tip of the iceberg. A week ago, we heard that the yakuza had a problem with Akihabara Exports through a spy in Sasaki's gang. Since the company has an office in Hikarizaka, the gang was given a chance to prove themselves. They were tasked with kidnapping someone at a medium rank, but they were never told what the company had done to anger the yakuza, or why they were kidnapping someone."

Tomoya was silent for a moment. _That's the company where dad works... what do they have to do with the mob? Mostly they just sell anime and games overseas._

"Kinoshita was the guy they picked."

"He walks home through their territory. It was too easy. The first time, they let him off after asking a few questions, and whether he knew their answers or not, he gave them little in the way of useful information."

"When did your gang find him?"

"We saw him leaving their territory with some bruises once. It was mostly the same questions, but they were less patient about the answers. We also lost our spy. We haven't heard from him since two days ago. We had to piece the information together from him, and we told him about a way he could get between home and work without provoking them."

"I'd be suspicious of that information. Did you tell him your gang's interest in the situation?"

"It's an order that comes from my brother. I didn't question it." _She's lying. I don't know how I know, but she is._ If one thing was certain, it was not through anything revealed on her face. She looked exactly like a nice girl who knew nothing of gangs and did not approve of violence. _Well, I didn't ask her if she approves._

"Why can't your brother give out his own orders?"

"He's in the hospital. Only family members can visit him." _I know I've heard that before..._ "The members of his gang trust me because they know I don't like anything about what they have to do every day." _That still doesn't answer one other thing._

"What did you tell Kinoshita about why you're protecting him?"

"He assumed we were working against the yakuza for some reason, like as low level competitors. The truth is, we are low-level competitors and we do charge protection fees, but we're not just protecting people and businesses from ourselves." _That's not what's going on this time, though, is it? She would have said so if it were something simple like that._

"Well, your gang members are beating a path through the school and it's hurting Sakagami's chances."

"I know. I've asked them to respect the fact that this is a private school and unauthorized guests are not permitted." Even as she said it, Tomoya knew it was not going to be the end of their issues. Even the mere concept of complaining to a sibling of a gang leader about the conflict to get it to go away sounded ridiculous. At the same time, he was running out of time in lunch. _I'll have to deal with this later. The better I understand this conflict, the easier it will be to get it moved off campus._

Going back to class after grabbing whatever was left to eat, he decided it was unreasonable to hope for anything more than making it someone else's problem. He passed Furukawa in the hallway and she nearly bumped into him because she was writing something. _That's right. I've got to get over to Ibuki-sensei's place after class. I don't know what I'll do, but I have to do something._ He had already agreed he was not going to cheat by trying to get them to get married for taxes or insurance.

Class was dull and he hardly paid attention. It seemed there was so much else that was important. Sighing, he hit himself over the head with the idea that there was nothing to be done about anything else while he was stuck in class, so he might as well take a break from his real problems by focusing to the best of his ability. It was possible he was getting something out of it, but it was hard to imagine what. He did not envision using advanced mathematics in a job, those were for students who cared substantially more than he did.

Looking out the window toward the end of his last class, he spotted the old man from the other day. _Is there any way... that's Kinoshita? Is this the reason that Miyazawa would know where he is?_ Coming up with a map of the city in his head, he had an idea of where his father's workplace was and where the school was. _I guess there are a few places he might live where Sasaki territory would be on the way there. I'm pretty sure there's a row of small houses on the other side of the park._

Going straight outside after class let out, he missed the old man somehow, but he was going to see the former art teacher anyway. He had an idea that involved lying, but maybe there was a way to get around the worst possible scenario. _I haven't seen Fuko in the hallways in a little while. Well, she might be in the other building or something._

"Ibuki-sensei... I've got a question for you."

"Yes?" She was drinking tea on the porch.

"Well, say I have this job lined up, well, no it's my friend who has- anyway, it's kind of his dream job, but it'll take him away from his family. Like, it might be years before he sees them again, and his dad's the only family he has left."

"I see... is there any way this friend of yours could be doing the same job closer to home?"

He shook his head.

"How do I put this... it's actually kind of embarrassing- for him, anyway- he wants to play the drums with this band in Canada. It's not like he'll die if the job doesn't work out, but it's basically the only thing he wants right now. It's just he feels like he's abandoning an important family member..."

The young woman offered a soft smile.

"Okazaki, you don't have to be embarrassed. I had dreams when I was your age... There was a time I wanted to be a famous sculptor. Unfortunately, art sort of moved away from that medium, at least the way I wanted to do it. It's okay if you try and things just don't work out, or you decide there's something more important to you. There is really no circumstance where you have everything you want."

"I hadn't known that about you... why do you say there's no circumstance where you can have everything?"

"Well, someone once asked me why I was letting my talents go to waste. She was an old friend of mine from school, and she thought I should keep pursuing my dreams, since my work was valuable. She thought it was more valuable than staying close to my family."

"You disagreed."

"Well, even if I didn't, no one else thought my work was that valuable. Even if you're a skilled sculptor, and you work really hard at it, people don't have to like it. Working hard at something doesn't make it more valuable, it just drains your time and energy more. Some of the most celebrated works of art took only a few hours."

Tomoya might have heard about art and its history before, but he also might have slept through it. _I have to try something else._

"Well... say there's this girl, and I already know that's where she's going..."

"Then you have a difficult choice between people you love. I feel like the obvious thing to do would be to ask for your father's blessing, but you have not done that because you know what he would say about going off to another country to play in a rock band." Resting her elbow on her left hand, she rested her chin in her right. "That is a difficult question to ponder. Do you know much about my fiancé?"

"Yoshino? He sounds familiar, but I can't place it."

"Well, he used to be a famous rock star, but he looks like anyone else, so people don't really recognize him because they don't expect to see him fixing faulty wiring." _I could actually see that. He talks like an artist, anyway._

"Things didn't work out for him?"

"Not really. You could even say things went too well. His music became so popular, he lost sight of his original motivation. Originally, it was a way of releasing his pent-up emotions, to deal with a lot of his early struggles. He didn't have the easiest life, growing up."

"What was the problem?"

"Well, he wasn't prepared for it when people placed him on such a high pedestal. I always encouraged him, and that was fine, but people started sending him exorbitant amounts of money to turn out new songs and tour more. They started sending him letters saying they depended on his music just to get by. Some people just kept sending him support, telling him they loved his music and that was all there was to it. Eventually, he just couldn't take the pressure."

"So he decided to be an electrician?"

"That's the short version. It made me feel a little better about my artistic dreams not working out." Ibuki-sensei smiled. "I think you should also talk to this girl and tell her that you're not certain about leaving your father for years. Though, she might just leave you right then."

"Yeah..."

"But if you had to spend the rest of your life with her or your father, you'd pick her in a heartbeat, right?" He just stared back. _I don't think any young man wants to live with his dad for the rest of his life._ "I think she knows that. Yes, I have a good idea about who she is." His eyes widened. "You're not as good at concealing your feelings as you think you are, then." She smiled again. "That's okay. Most girls find it easier to deal with boys like that."

"Huh..."

"I feel a little bad saying it, since most of my friends were girls, but you get a little tired of all the games and the drama. I can tell what Yusuke feels all the time, and I try not to, but if I really need to hide something, I know I can."

"I think I'm going to go through with it. I know... I know I should stay close to my family, but I'm not giving up my whole life for that. I think, if it weren't something he couldn't approve as a parent, that he would want me to choose the girl over him."

The former teacher nodded.

"You've helped me come to a decision. I think I need to talk with my fiancé first, but we may be able to set a date for our wedding. I know, that no matter what, it's going to happen."

"That's great!" he shouted, surprising himself a little. _Was I expecting this to be harder? Was it harder in my memories?_ "I'll tell Furukawa." He started to walk off. _That's right, she knows that she's involved in this... wait... did she think that I was involved with her?_ He looked back, but it seemed Ibuki-sensei was already inside. _I guess we were talking for a good bit._

He ended up deciding to go to Sunohara's place. It was not as if he had been a terrible friend, which would have been reasonable given how bad of a friend Tomoya was from time to time. There was a long stretch of time, he knew, where they had been each other's only friend, and they really only moved away from that recently. The previous year, he was pretty sure they pulled a joke on a senior, but the details were fuzzy. _Ever since I started getting these memories, I haven't been able to remember a few things from the recent past._

The dormitory was locked for some reason, but Sagara let him in anyway. Apparently there was a new problem with fighting outside the building, but it was hardly her responsibility, so she did not bother to blame him for it. _Does she think I'm some kind of mastermind that determines everything that goes on around here?_ He wondered what her deal was, because he knew she had one, that much was obvious from her recent behavior, but decided he was in no hurry to find out. With more than enough problems, he was hoping for something resembling a relaxing evening before going home.

Both of its usual inhabitants were in as soon as he knocked on the door, and he heard a few noises before it was answered. _What were they even doing in there? The second Mitsurugi finds out he's a dude, Sunohara's going to get his ass kicked._ It was the rugby player who opened the door.

"Hi, Okazaki. What brings you here?"

"I was just going to ask how the campaign was going," he said, sighing.

"Oh, well, we were just... enjoying each other's company."

"What do you guys even do for fun? You don't seem to have anything in common."

"That's uhh... well, I'd rather not say."

"He beats me," the blonde boy said from inside.

"You weren't supposed to tell anyone-"

"It's okay. I just wanted him to be sure that I liked it and there's no reason for him to feel guilty about hitting me before." _Did Sunohara get a thousand times smarter in the last few months?_ He closed the door. There was no need for anyone else to hear what they were discussing. "I really want to thank you for telling Mitsurugi about me. It's completely changed my life."

"Definitely seems like it."

"I used to think I had to be the class clown. I used to like being the butt of people's jokes, even, because at least it meant they cared about me." Tomoya wiped away a cold bead of sweat. "Thanks for helping me be who I really am."


	19. Uncertainty

Tomoya walked home earlier than strictly necessary. _How did I screw things up this badly? I've been such a jerk to Sunohara and Mitsurugi for getting them into that situation._ The obvious thing to do was to go back to Miyazawa and ask her to undo the spell on his friend, but he still had no idea whether or not that was what did it. He had not spoken to Sunohara on his own in days, so he never had the chance to ask if he were still faking it, but it certainly seemed like he really believed himself to be a girl named Mei.

_Maybe I just need to get his sister to visit him. That could snap him out of it. Did she visit in my memories?_

His thoughts were interrupted by someone standing right in front of him. It was a youngish man in a cheap suit, a cigarette in his mouth. The simplest course of action was going around, but apparently that was not permitted.

"Excuse me."

"I've seen you pass through our territory a lot, boy. Got something to do around here?"

"It's just what it looks like. I'm passing through." He looked around. "I really couldn't tell you most of what gangs are doing around here, so I wouldn't know whose territory is whose." The strange man threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it.

"You're a good boy, then? Or are you trying to fuck with us?"

"I can't imagine why I would want to fuck with you, or have anything to do with you at all."

Nothing was said for a moment. _Can I go, then?_

"You have heard of us, though. Sasaki said he ran into you in the park with an old thorn in his side."

"We were just passing through then, too. You can ask the guys he sent after us."

"I'll be blunt. You know a chick named Miyazawa, don't you?"

"No. Does everyone who passes through your territory know her?"

"She goes to your school."

"I'm not surprised. It's a big place."

"Look, if you really didn't know anything, you wouldn't still be talking to me."

"You're in the way."

"If you were had the proper respect for us, you would have gone the other way." He drew another cigarette out of his jacket, but put it back in without lighting it. "No, you know about us, but only what the other side has to say." He looked around. "All you need to know about the yakuza is that businesses have problems with each other every so often and you can't trust the government to fix them. At some point, someone has to grease the wheels to keep things going."

"All right. That's the impression I'll have of the yakuza if I ever meet someone who's part of them." Tomoya walked past him.

"You're funny, kid."

The young man in the cheap suit offered no further comment as he walked off.

At home, it seemed his father was asleep, but that was to be expected. After years of drinking, it seemed unreasonable to expect him to stop right away. Most people who managed to stop really just slowed down, which was basically fine, since it hardly impacted their ability to interact with others in small quantities. _I wonder how I went and got a taste for it..._

There was a thump outside, but he ignored it. The people on his street knew how to keep to themselves and he was no exception. He went up to get ready for bed and paused a few moments to wonder what he should do about Sunohara and Mitsurugi before going to sleep.

By the time he woke up, it seemed like there was nothing he could do, and there was nothing to be done. In short order, the rugby player would find out about his 'girlfriend'. That was the only way it could end, and it was swiftly approaching. The walk to school was quiet, except for the sound of a moped or something similar.

He was a few minutes late again, but he found a seat behind Ryou and told her about Ibuki-sensei's apparent change of heart as soon as the first class ended.

"Oh... that's..."

"What?" he asked. _Isn't it good news?_

"Well, it's... not what I predicted... but that's fine... fortunes wouldn't be fun if I knew everything for certain." She said nothing more on the subject, facing forward again until the next class. _Must be lost in thought. I admit it's not what I predicted either, but I don't have her abilities with prophecy._

As the class wore on he decided he really should tell Furukawa, since it seemed doubtful Fujibayashi would pass it along. It was an exaggeration to say she was in shock, but it was clearly off-putting for her.

"Are you alright?" he whispered. There was no answer. "Do you ever foretell that Kyou will never get married?" There was neither laughter nor answer. _Well, maybe I shouldn't expect laughter. It's about her sister, after all._ "Does she ever do lewd things to you?" Some small piece of eraser came in through the window. _Now I know she isn't paying attention._ A larger chunk of eraser followed the first. He got up and closed the window.

As soon as the second class ended, Ryou's sister appeared to have come to defend her honor. _I'll just distract her with something unrelated._

"Oh, hi, Kyou, did Sakagami-"

"Don't try to change the subject." _Damn._

"I'm being serious. I need to know if-"

"Oh, you'll run into her sooner or later. I hope you're quite satisfied, by the way. I happen to know all the tricks of trade, but I refuse to use them."

"Okay, thanks." She continued to stare at him. "You should probably get back to class." The staring persisted. "Is there something else?"

"Don't do anything lewd with my sister," she ordered quietly, her gaze unblinking. The dream came back to him.

"I don't intend to do anything lewd to her." He gave her no illusion that he was not being serious. It seemed like she was a bit uncertain as to how to take his response, but she left all the same. _Well, I hope she doesn't take it as an insult, because it's not. There's nothing wrong with Ryou._

Classes continued until lunch, when he tried to find Miyazawa again, but it appeared she was not in the reference room. _I'm already here; I might as well..._ He pulled out the spell book from where he had seen her put it away and went through the table of contents. There was no clear organization to the spells that he could follow, so he started flipping pages until he found the one that turned a girl into a boy. It said, as he should have expected, that performing the opposite ritual would turn a boy into a girl, which was almost certainly what the original magician did. Why girls wanted to turn their friends into boys or just make them think they were was beyond him, but it could not possibly hurt to reverse the spell he had put on his friend.

 _Except... what if he was right? What if he's better off this way? Well, no, he can't be better off, since sooner or later, Mitsurugi's going to find out, and then he'll get his ass kicked. He might be happier this way in the short term, but it's only because of what I did... unless magic isn't real. In that case, I'm not doing anything by undoing the ritual._ He read out the simple steps and recited the words he was supposed to recite, along with the name, Youhei.

Getting up and going to lunch after putting the book back, he felt more like an idiot than normal, but that was fine. Most likely, nothing would come as a result of his recent actions, and it was virtually impossible for anyone else to find out. _He's got to come back to school. Even if it doesn't work, he can't just skip the whole rest of the year. There's no way he'll graduate._

On the way back he briefly ran into Fuko, but she was just staring out a window.

"Hey, Fuko... I ran into your sister." There was no response. "She said she's made a decision about the wedding... she didn't say when it could be, but she said it was definitely going to happen.

"It's not like you think," the mysterious girl said. "Meet me after school."

He was slightly off put by the idea, and how she could be aware of any difference between what he expected and reality, but he resolved to do as she asked. _I'll have to see about Sakagami later. I still don't know what happened between her and Kyou._

Classes wore on and deserved no particular comment. He had little enough reason to care about them most of the time, but at least paying attention was making things seem to go more quickly than just staring out the window. He answered a question because it seemed like no one else was going to get around to it and the teacher practically gave him a standing ovation. _No, you're not getting the idea I'm a teacher's pet._ He loudly asked how much of what they discussed was going to be on the final at the end of class.

When school finally let out, he went back to the hallway where he had left Fuko, and found her still staring out the same window.

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"No one can see me anymore." She did not look at him as she spoke. "It's... pointless to keep asking people." He remembered how asking people had been a way of coercing her sister to go through with the wedding.

"I mean... did they decide on a guest list? Can't we still see if people here want to go? More people have at least seen her now that she came here..." He trailed off. _What am I saying? If people can't see or hear her, of course there isn't any-_ "Has anyone been helping you?"

"That girl was a little while ago, but she was coughing yesterday and then the today she's gone."

"So she's sick now? I hadn't..." _I hadn't known because there was no reason for me to know. Was I expecting her to get sick?_

"It's fine... I know my sister will get married now." She looked down at the floor. "Sometimes I can hear them talking to me... when they think I can't hear them."

"Don't tell me any more. Please. I'm worried that I'm getting close to figuring it out." _We haven't told her._ "Furukawa thinks that the people who figure out more about you lose their ability to see you. I'm worried that I won't be able to help you if I know nothing, but... I don't know, for reasons I don't quite understand, it's important to me that we get this worked out."

She looked back at him and gave him a sad smile, looking for one moment just like her older sister.

"Do you think that's why people can't see me?"

"The truth must have gone around at some point. I'm a delinquent- mostly, people don't talk to me; it makes them look bad. Furukawa had to miss a large part of last year for some reason-" _because she was sick_ "-so we're basically in the same boat."

"Oh, I get it. You're a jerk and a loser." Her expression had not shifted, but there was nothing in her delivery to indicate she was being sarcastic. Nothing was said for a moment.

"Can you please at least tell me why you're sad about your sister getting married?"

"I don't think I can. You might forget about me..." She looked back out the window. "I know it's selfish, but..." _She's right. It's got to be some key detail that would unravel the whole thing._

"I'll... go to the bakery and see if I can talk to her. There has to be some way... I don't know, something I can do to relay the information but keep myself in the dark-" Fuko was scratching something onto a wooden star.

"Take this starfish to her. Don't look at it."

"This is... these have been starfish the whole time?" _Do I remember that?_ "Never mind, I'll do it." It seemed she was finished carving the characters.

"Starfish are the cutest animals in the whole wide world." Somehow she made it sound sad at the same time as she extended the wedding invitation.

"I guess that explains why we're not using paper like normal people. Dork." He took the starfish and walked. There was nothing more to say, and he knew where he was going.

_I'm trusting Furukawa with a lot for someone who's going to ruin my life... or someone whose life I'm going to ruin._

Tomoya arrived at the bakery before he realized it. Sanae greeted him as soon as he came to the door, not knowing what he would do when he crossed the threshold. _Well, that's nothing out of the ordinary. That's how I went to school for three years straight._

"Hi, Okazaki. Did you come to check on Nagisa?"

"She wasn't at school today." He was not lying, he was misrepresenting the truth. "It shouldn't take too long."

"Well, before you ask her, I should tell you. Our daughter is a very brave girl to face the world with the seasonal curse she carries with her. Please understand that she may not be out for weeks... she might not be able to see you, some days."

She was trying to communicate the severity of the girl's illness so that he could avoid asking anything weird. Somehow he understood it already.

"She told me." _There's the lie. I really never surprise myself, do I?_

Without another word he allowed himself to be guided to the girl's room. The mother checked quickly before coming back out and nodding to him.

"Hi," he said, almost at a whisper. He wondered if his words could hurt her in this condition.

"Hi, Okazaki."

"I saw Fuko today... I told her that her sister had resolved to get married, but I guess she didn't seem as happy as I thought she would be." Furukawa seemed lost in thought.

"Fuko... Fuko... I remember her." She coughed. _Should I even be here?_ "What's... the problem?" He extended the wooden starfish.

"She wanted me to give this to you. She said... sometimes she can hear them?" _Why can she hear them but not see them? No... I can't think about that._

The girl took the memo and read it a few times. Tears formed as she finished reading and thinking about it. She attempted to throw the star across the room, but she could hardly lift her arms. He took it from her without reading it.

"I can't do this..." she managed.

"That's why I'm here. Don't tell me anything about why I'm doing it, just tell me what I need to do."

"No... this isn't something... I can ask you or... anyone else to do." Furukawa coughed again. "I couldn't do it myself even if..."

"We can't just not do it... whatever it is, Fuko's counting on us."

"I know," she managed. "I know this is something she wants... but this is a worst case scenario... this is abandoning all hope... and it's just terrible, even without anything else..." _What reason would we have to be abandoning all hope? Why is this the worst case?_ He nearly hit himself in the head. The sick girl had nearly forgotten who she was, so if he started to figure it out, he would lose it himself before long.

Tomoya let her think about it for a moment.

"What should we do instead?"

"Please, don't stop... trying... Anything you can do... do it so we don't have to do... this." She coughed. "I know it doesn't make a lot of sense..."

"It's fine."

"Just... when it comes to it... if you hear about what happened to Fuko... or if Ibuki-sensei... changes her mind... come back here." She swallowed. Speaking was difficult for her in her illness, but the words were worse. "I have something written down... she didn't tell me why... just that I had to write it all."

"So if it is the worst case, then I need to come back here and..." Furukawa was shaking her head, slowly.

"Sorry... my parents might not let you in..." She pointed weakly to a desk. "It's in there. Don't... look at it."

"I promise. I'm not going to look at it." He assumed it was a list of instructions he would need to carry out if the worst occurred. He could think of a few reasons the girl's parents would not allow him into the room, so she was probably right in handing it to him. _It just requires her to give up all control over the situation... She can't judge how bad things are anymore, but she probably doesn't trust herself to remember anyway._

He folded the page up as soon as he found it, turned back and said goodbye. There was no response. Furukawa had lost consciousness.


	20. Forgetfulness

By the time Tomoya went home that evening, he had to have apologized at least a thousand times. Fortunately Akio was resting the bread dough to be baked the following morning, but somehow Sanae's refusal to acknowledge his guilt made things feel worse. She kept insisting that it was not his fault that their daughter was exhausted; she was very sick and she had had a long day, since the doctor had come by earlier. At home he said hello to his father, who was looking over some papers for some reason as he went up to his room.

The following day he met with Yoshino on the way to school, but he spent most of the time helping him with a frayed wire or whatever it was.

"Do you want to come to our wedding, Okazaki?" he asked.

"I'd have to know the date." _She didn't explicitly set a date, just said that it was definitely going to happen... and from this it sounds like it'll be sometime soon._

"It shouldn't be more than a few weeks now."

Somehow his expectations being confirmed was not as comforting as he had thought it would be.

"Well, I think most of your guests would need to know so they can plan around it. I have tests and other people will have work..."

The electrician seemed to have predicted this response.

"We're asking people to be patient, so let the good in their hearts be tested. Our families have been waiting for this for a while, with baited breath they would see us finally wed." _That makes sense. If he says it'll be in a few weeks, it'll set expectations, and when they have an exact day, there won't be too much confusion. If they've really been waiting for it, they'll be content to clear their calendars for a little while._

"Well, what about the venue? Can you reserve it a day in advance?"

"We were unsure about that, in truth." Yoshino admitted, putting his tools in the truck. "Perhaps I would be content to have it anywhere, yet my love, Kouko might have other ideas. Perhaps there is some most important place..."

"I think she should have it at the school." _Why did I say that? Is that a memory?_ "Furukawa told me that Ibu- that your fiancé told her that the school was the most where she had some of her fondest memories." It looked like he was less than convinced. "So... we went ahead and asked them if we could plan a wedding at the school."

"Oh... perhaps that would serve, since we did meet there, when first our paths crossed..." It looked like he had to be somewhere. "Did they approve it?"

"They said they would still have to talk to people but they told us that closer to the date, they saw no reason not to have it, as long as it was not a school day," he lied. "That was kind of part of the reason I wanted to know if there was a date, and I thought you might have one if your fiancé didn't, since you have to go around your work schedule."

"It appears there are more people in need of illumination in their lives. I shall think carefully on your words, Okazaki."

He wanted to get in and tell Fuko about whatever small measure he had just achieved, but he was already late for his first class. To make matters worse, Sunohara was sitting next to him, but he was wearing a dress and everyone was staring at him.

"I'd think you would want to stay far enough away from people to where they couldn't tell," he muttered during a pause in the lecture.

"I must be among the people before my first debate," he said. "These stares mean nothing to me." It was clear enough that he was lying, but Tomoya expected no one else could hear him. _I guess one way or another he's going to be in a debate, so he'll be in close quarters with Sakagami if no one else._

The first class ended and he told Ryou that the wedding had to be on the school campus, meaning they would need approval, which meant the superintendent at the very least. _I definitely need her help after Furukawa called in_ _sick. I doubt I could get anything from asking anyone at the school, except possibly Koumura._

"It'll look better coming from you."

"I know. I'll go through a teacher first, so it will look like it's something that I didn't just make up." _Well, that's out of the way- they still might have some conditions to set, but I can't imagine why they'd say no. Worst comes to worst, we'll tell the superintendent we have the principal's permission, and vice versa, then have the wedding before they can figure out we tricked them._

His next few classes he mostly spent trying to come up with reasons to be allowed to set the date himself. It seemed stupid to try to get them to plan the wedding based on the convenience of any one of their guests, and he could hardly fill up their calendars except for one date, however fantastically that would work if it were remotely possible. _It's not something that's going to be easy. It's not something I can fix overnight. It never was._

At lunch he did not see Sakagami, but Kotomi said that the debate was tomorrow and she had come up with a few pointers for it. Taciturn herself, she normally practiced imaginary arguments in her head to be ready if people ever shared opinions with her, which mostly had the effect of making all of her planned discussion topics landmines to make people regret ever conversing with her. She said she was working on it.

"You're done with your paper, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. I can hand it in whenever my teacher asks for it. It's probably the best paper he's ever seen."

"It'll have to be, or he'll fail you."

"I know. Have you seen that guy who was waiting for you outside since that last time?"

"No... it might have been a one-time-thing. That's what I would hope, anyway." _I'll have to be ready for that not to be the case._

"Well, if I'm around after school, I guess I could walk you home." She responded what he could only describe as an amused huff.

"What?"

"I'm sure everyone will understand it's a purely platonic walking-home."

"I mean I guess some people would think it isn't, but what does it matter what they think?"

"Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"I mean... not like that, I don't think..." It was not often that he was at a loss for words. It had not occurred to him, however, that a girl would even appear sufficiently interested in him to be mistaken for his girlfriend. It was entirely impossible that anyone would _be_ his girlfriend. He would have to at least know about that sort of thing.

"Oh, well, maybe I should tell her that you don't see it the same way," Kotomi said, her jaw now resting on the heel of her hand.

"Why? Couldn't you at least tell me who she is?"

"If you don't see her as your girlfriend, why would you want to know?"

"It's more complicated than that- wouldn't you want to know if some guy liked you, even if you weren't sure you liked him?"

"That's never really been an issue." _Well, I suppose most girls can probably tell, or if they can't, they'd think they'd be able to see it if it were there._

"You're making it up," he said after a moment of thought. "I'd have at least some idea of it; if I didn't know at all that'd be ridiculous." _Ever since I started getting these memories, it's been easier to get a read on people my age. It's weird, but I feel like more of a contemporary to Ibuki-sensei and Yoshino._

"I mean, that's what you would think, isn't it? You don't let a lot get by you these days..." she observed, trailing off. "But if you did miss something, you'd only be more certain that you didn't."

"That doesn't mean I'm wrong. Secondly, it'd be like you to mess with me like this to get me to admit something. I don't know what your objective might be, but that's what it sounds like."

"Whatever," Kotomi conceded. "Suppose I tell you that there was no girl after all. You'll only be wondering if I just started lying now."

"Not really. I don't really spend a lot of time wondering if girls are into me."

"-and that's why you wouldn't notice."

"Whatever," he responded, taking his turn to concede a point. _It's not worth trying to get the information out of her. She's still probably lying, and if there is someone who likes me, I'm not going to find out now._

Tomoya walked off without further regard, going back to class. The one right after lunch was a drag as always, but immediately after he saw Fuko in the hallway and told her about that morning with Yoshino. She answered with only a soft smile, turning away after that. _Maybe I should just go back to class._

His last few classes were mind-numbingly boring, except for when a teacher took the opportunity to shame a student for having 'a lower class ranking than Okazaki', though this was a girl who was rarely in class because of how often she was out with her older boyfriend. He supposed that, in absolute fairness, if she were just going to get married and live with that man as a homemaker, she did not really need school, and it was kind of silly to expect her to graduate with accolades. It seemed more likely that the teachers wanted the school to look good, and the girl's parents were just making her stick it out.

_I haven't asked too many of my friends what they plan on doing when they get out of here... well, it's only just recently that I started considering a few of them my friends. A few months ago, Sunohara wanted to work in trucking, but if he changes to Mitsurugi's baby factory, I'm going to have to hit him in the face. I guess I could ask Ryou what she plans on doing, that would at least tell me if life is anything like my dream._

In a lull in one of the lectures, he took the opportunity.

"Hey, Fujibayashi, what are you doing when you get out of here?" he asked quietly.

"My ultimate goal is to be a nurse, but that will take... a few years of training, so I predict that I'll still be in school a while." _Huh._ "What are you going to do?" she asked hopefully.

"Well, a friend of mine said a friend of his has some connection in small businesses... so I guess I could go around a few weeks before graduation and see who's hiring."

Ryou stared at him.

"...Okazaki, it is a few weeks before graduation..."

"I meant like two. That should be plenty of time. I'm not trying to win any awards for where I see myself in five years."

"Are either of you?" It was the teacher's voice. The girl turned forward, her face tomato red. "Fujibayashi, you have a chance at passing your exams. I can assure you that paying attention is not a waste of time." Her eyes were pointed toward the floor. _That's not exactly fair. She has a chance of doing a good bit better than passing._

They said nothing. Perhaps it was true that he was a delinquent, and he would ignore a request every so often, but defying a teacher in class was just beyond the pale. He would not be surprised if he were suspended, and then his friends would all be worse off. He had been suspended in the past, but this time it seemed easier to keep his mouth shut. _It's pathetic. He's messing with Ryou just because he knows she's sensitive about that sort of thing._

After classes finally let out, he left his friend with the message that she should not let the teacher's words get to her, and asked her to see if she could help Ibuki-sensei plan the wedding.

"If more people are excited about it, she might be willing to move it up."

"Yeah..." She looked distant.

"It looks like you're uncertain about something."

"It's just... why are we doing this again?" she asked. "I'm sorry; I know it means a lot to you, so I didn't want to ask, but..."

There was a pause.

"It's for Fuko, the girl who invited us to the wedding," he said. "Didn't she ever give you a wooden star?"

"A wooden... that's right, I think I do have one of those... I must have been so busy, I lost track of it." She looked at the ground.

"Well, don't feel guilty about it. Everyone's busy these days." _She can't help the fact that she can't remember. It's possible she heard about it from her sister, because I've never seen her around Fuko. If I can get Ryou to help for the sake of someone else, she might remember longer than anyone else._ "Did you talk to the superintendent?" She shook her head. "That's fine, we just have to ask at some point."

"Um... Okazaki?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you doing this... for a girl?"

"I mean, I guess. Fuko's a girl. It's... well, she has a difficult situation and it just seemed like the right thing to do." _Why am I doing all this?_ "I guess Yoshino and his fiancé are kind of my friends at this point. I really don't want things to fall apart after coming this far. I don't want the only thing I ever put effort into doing to go to waste." She seemed to think on his words a moment.

"Well... I don't either," she decided.

Outside, he ran into Sunohara of all people.

"Hey, do you think you could get your voters to come to the wedding I mentioned?" he asked out of nowhere. "Just say you're going there and you're signing autographs or something."

"When is it?" _Well, that's the question, isn't it?_

"You'll have to ask Ibuki-sensei," he said. _She won't set a date just for one guest, but she might set one for a few hundred. I can't risk overwhelming her, though._ "Fujibayashi is going to help her plan the wedding, so she should have the date pretty soon. It might be better not to mention me. I don't want her to get the idea that I'm inviting all of her guests for her. The plan, though, is to have it at the school, so if you think about it, the students would be invited by default." _I need to make a selling point._ "It'll be a day when we don't have class... so you can make an appearance, without having to go the whole day."

"Why are you telling me this?" the candidate asked at length. "Everyone says you've been trying to help Sakagami get elected."

"I don't see why I can't help you a little," he said, mostly lying. _Once the debate happens, she'll have it in the bag._ "I have to get around to seeing her at some point."

"Are you inviting her to the wedding?"

"Of course I am. Here's your chance to look better in a dress, if you can pull it off." He looked around. "Besides, Fuko invited her to the wedding, so it's not even my decision."

"Who's Fuko?"

It did not look like something he was trying to remember, but rather something he had never heard. _No... if anyone's been living under a rock this whole time, it's this guy. There's no way he could have heard about what happened to her. Did she just... start to go away? Is it worse than I thought?_

"She's the girl who told me about the wedding in the first place. She's an idiot, kind of, and I guess some people find her annoying, but... I don't know, she just _tries_ so hard, it would feel terrible not to help her out." It was weird, thinking about it. He had almost certainly forgotten some of the reasons why he was helping the girl, but he had to at least remember her.

He separated from Sunohara close enough to his house he decided he might as well go inside. It was not as if he had anything to lose, talking to his father for an evening. It definitely absolved him from the nagging guilt he had over the way he promised Kotomi that he would try to be a little nicer to people who tried to be nice to him, not even realizing his old man fit the description. Closing the door behind him, he looked into the sitting room to see Ibuki-sensei and his father.

"Hi, Okazaki," she said, setting down a cup of tea. "I figured it would be easier to find you here than at school."


	21. The Rules of Debate

Tomoya sat down calmly. It seemed easier to sit next to his father than across from him. There must have been some tradition where the host was supposed to face the guest, anyway.

"Ibuki-sensei... are you here to ask me if I want to come to your wedding?" he asked.

"No, I spoke with Yusuke today and I'm happy you've been thinking about us, but, well, I started to think there had to be some other reason you were trying to get us to get married." _I can't very well tell her about Fuko._

"You have a nice teacher, Tomoya," his father offered.

"I talked with your father when I arrived and I found he's quite a nice man, but substantially more permissive than you made him out to be." His heart sank as she spoke. "I feel like you wanted me to realize I should get married, so you came up with a false scenario where you felt like I would agree with the idea." She did not seem particularly upset, for some reason. "I think you might be right about that. I think that my sister loves me, even now, and she would want me to be married, but I feel like your reasoning might have been prejudiced by your own family situation."

He said nothing.

"His mother died when he was young. It was hard for us both." The old man looked like he had not been drinking at least that day.

"Okazaki, it was polite of you not to ask, and I understand why you would make the assumption, but I'm not pregnant. There are no children that we're leaving in the lurch by postponing our wedding." _There's one. Her name's Fuko._ "Is that why you were worried?"

"Uh... it might have been on the back of my mind." He poured himself some tea. It was store-bought, but everything he ate was. "I really do want you two to be happy, and I heard from... Furukawa that you were concerned about leaving your family behind..."

"I see. Perhaps I should explain what I meant, then," Ibuki-sensei said. "Nagisa is a nice girl, and she probably only told you part of what I told her. My younger sister has been in the hospital for three years following an accident which left her comatose. We've been hoping her condition would improve, but there was no change until a few weeks ago, when the doctors told us she was... taking a turn for the worse." It seemed the color had left the world. Time was slow, as it had been so many times in the past. "For a few years, I was worried that my sister wouldn't be awake to see my wedding, but now it's starting to look like she will not be alive to see me married. I kept wanting to make plans with Yusuke, but every time I had this fear that I would walk up to the altar right as my sister died, and I would not be there for her. The thought of doing something so horrible keeps me up at night, and I have had nightmares."

"You told me you were... well, you told me you had come to a decision on it."

"I decided that I would go through with the wedding... after my sister dies. I have promised to carry her to her grave, but I do not believe she wants me to follow her down. Yusuke and I visit her in the hospital every so often. Sometimes I think she can hear me..."

"Well, what do you think she'd rather hear?!" he asked, his volume growing suddenly, his words coming out inconsistently. "Do you think she wanted to hear you say 'we plan on getting married once you die'? Do you think any girl wants to hear that?" He slammed his fist on the table. His father was in shock. He did not generally do well with loud noises. "You know, I don't think you do believe she can hear you- I think you've already given her up for dead, and you've done it in the worst way possible!" The former teacher sitting across from him had lost her sad smile. Her expression had been hardened. She knew she was being criticized by a teenager, but she was going to wait for him to finish. _-because what could I possibly say?!_ "Can't you trust her to stay alive for five minutes so you can tell her that you did it, you got married, and now you can be by her side without regrets?"

There was a pause.

"I don't know what my sister wants, Okazaki, not precisely. I know what's responsible and what isn't, and I hope you learn that lesson soon, because you're almost an adult. I don't believe you're any more likely than I am to know when she wants me to get married, but you would know more about what your mother wanted for your life. Playing matchmaker to make up for the unstable home life you had seems like something that would disappoint her, but you would know more than I. For the record, I was not blaming you for-"

"Right, you weren't blaming me because I couldn't help it. Because my behavior happens to line up with some weird personality disorder, that's what I have, and there's not some half-dead girl handing out carvings of her favorite animal trying to get me to go to your wedding, until she tells me it's not going to happen because her sister would rather wait around for her to be dead than- it doesn't matter, give her the damn star, father." He got up and started to walk off toward the stairs. "I don't expect I'll even remember this tomorrow. I've officially stopped helping you; you don't want help, so next time someone tries to be nice just tell him to fuck off."

Sleep was uneasy that night.

The following morning, he met Ryou on his way to school. She might have been looking for him.

"Hi, Okazaki, I couldn't find Ibuki-sensei yesterday. Nagisa told me where her house was once, but..." _She wasn't there because she was at my house._

"She told me she didn't want my help. That's fine; if she doesn't want to get married, I can't make her." They passed Yoshino, fixing another light.

"Okazaki-" he started.

"How many lights go out on this damn street?" he asked loudly.

"It's weird, actually," the electrician started, digging a small piece of metal out of the box. "There's some sign of sabotage, some thief in the night has undone my labor of love. That's unrelated, though."

He was tempted to congratulate him on not getting married, but he hardly liked the way that Yoshino seemed none too enthusiastic about going through with it himself. _If he'd really wanted to marry her, he'd have done it, or he'd have tried harder. There's no way they could just let her be in a coma for three years without..._ He shook his head as he walked away. _The only thing he could threaten to do would be leaving her, and he wouldn't want to leave her if he wanted to marry her._

At school, he could feel Ryou's look of concern as he looked around, realizing no one was in the hallway.

"That's right, we don't have class today. It's the debate."

"I can't wait to see what Sakagami has to say," Fujibayashi said. "Have you gone over it with her?"

"No, but I should have. Most of my spare time these last few days has turned out to be a waste." They were walking in the direction of the auditorium. "I guess I should really trust her to articulate her own points, since she always had better points than her opponent." _It's not going to help her all that much, though, since Sunohara is just going to parrot whatever she says and then one-up her on everything._ As little as he liked it, her only hope of winning the debate by a clear margin was the makeover she was supposed to have received from Kyou.

As they took their seats, it appeared the candidates had not taken their positions yet. It was weird; he had never been interested in elections before, so it was possible something in his memories changed his outlook, or circumstances were just different from his own actions. The principal or someone else who was supposed to be important was explaining the rules. Points would be awarded based on ideas raised, and taken away if those ideas were countered. Tomoya sighed. It seemed kind of arbitrary, but otherwise they would just be subjectively picking who won, and the audience would if they did not.

The candidates came out. Sakagami was wearing a long, white dress, while her opponent was dressed... exactly like an idol. It was a cutesy costume of pink, green, and possibly every other color; he could not be quite sure. There was a clear difference in the pitch of the cheers for each candidate. _This is actually pretty tiresome. I wish I could stop being concerned about this race, but I can't. I have to help her._

As the first question came out, some drivel about experience working with the student council, he thought of Fuko. _I wasn't doing all that for her sister. It's really not even her sister's fault I couldn't convince her. I don't know what I was thinking telling her about the stupid wooden starfish; she already thought I was compromised, so now I've got to be on a list for life._

Some where up on the stage it seemed the former delinquent was providing a detailed explanation about her plans. _Sunohara probably couldn't even screw it up by saying he's going to suck all their dicks. At this point I wouldn't even put it past him to actually do it. There is literally nothing he will not at least attempt to beat Sakagami at something. I need to talk him out of this; it's getting ridiculous._ As the other candidate answered the question, it occurred to him that he liked his friend better as a failure, a fellow failure.

_Do I really just want him back to where he and I can be friends again? What if I've been holding him back? No, that's ridiculous, I'm the one who's gotten him this far, I even had the idea to prepare Sakagami for the debate by getting Kyou to help her... but was it so she could win, or so he would lose?_

The next question was about their plans, but he hardly listened. It was pretty clear that the teachers wanted his preferred candidate to win, so the questions were all things they knew she had down, if she had not explicitly given her position on them. They were all perfectly relevant to the job of president, of course, but the faculty seemed to be underestimating the apathy of the students about the student government. Voting for a joke candidate as a joke was not terribly unreasonable if the job was a joke to them.

_Do you like this school?_

_Where did I hear that again? I know why I'm remembering it all of a sudden, but where was it that I heard it?_ He remembered a feeling of unease and the cherry blossoms all around him.

_I don't know, sometimes I want things to change._

The stage was far away. It seemed Ryou realized he was lost in thought. _It was the cherry blossoms. That's why Sakagami's running for president, and for some reason, that's why I decided to help her._ He remembered the conversation with Yoshino. _It's not about what they mean to everyone else, it's about what they mean to her, and what they mean to me._

"I think we might need to help them after all," he muttered quietly. "I just can't do it myself. They'll never believe me." _I'm also going to forget Fuko exists. Sooner or later I won't be able to see her anymore._

"That's good," Fujibayashi responded. "I'll be there to help when they announce they're getting married."

"Thanks." _All there's left to do is whatever Furukawa left me in the way of instruction._ He wanted to go see her before going through with it. Somehow he was less concerned about the bizarre unpleasant feeling he got whenever he was around her, whatever disaster his tenuous memories were telling him to avoid. _I'm sure they're just being overwritten by my more recent memories. Whatever happened in the future, though, I can't let it happen again. It doesn't matter what happened before. That's not what will happen._

He listened to the rest of the debate, but he mostly paid attention to the way they were speaking. Sakagami was confident that she was right, and Sunohara was putting on an act, but for his sake at least it was working. Most people would probably say that their preferred candidate won, since that was how that worked most of the time. One question in particular was interesting.

"Would you increase the amount of office hours available to students?" the moderator asked. _The teachers have gotten wind of Sunohara's general strategy of one-upping everything that Sakagami says._

"Of course," she said, looking over to her opponent briefly. "Students have been coming to me with complaints about office hours, and I think that I could manage a change in policy to half an hour across the board. If we can work out a schedule, it shouldn't put too much strain on teachers."

"I for one have not asked the teachers what kind of strain it would place on them, because no matter what, we can work it out if we try," the idol answered. _More like you haven't asked them because they're not voting for you and some of them know you're a dude._ "I'm confident we could extend all office hours to an actual hour, for a change." _Have you even been to office hours?_

"So you would have the office hours run into sports?" Sakagami asked. "You realize some of our teachers are also coaches, and if practice usually starts thirty minutes after class lets out, then they would have to move it back?" _It's not that hard to trap someone when you know what they're going to do every time._

"Of course I do. That's why we're going to have class get out thirty minutes earlier." _He just made that up on the spot. Hit harder, Sakagami. Don't worry about losing the lazy delinquents, just hit harder._

"Would you have school start thirty minutes earlier?" she asked. It was clear enough why the moderator was letting this protracted series of questions and answers go on.

"Of course not-"

"Then you would be cutting into-"

"Classes would simply have to be a few minutes shorter."

"Then we reach the heart of the matter," Sakagami said, folding her arms. "You would undermine the academic rigor of the school over a talking point. It's nice to see all of our priorities are in order." The debate ended shortly after that. _Never underestimate having the teachers on your side, I guess._ Walking out with Ryou, she asked him what he was going to do about the wedding situation.

"Well, I don't exactly know, but it's something I really didn't want to do."

"What?" _Did I say that out loud?_

"I just hoped the first plan would have worked is all. Thanks for keeping up the effort." She smiled.

"I like weddings," she said simply. "I... hadn't been thinking of it like that, but I wish I had. It would have made things... simpler." She looked at the folded piece of paper he was taking out of his jacket. "What's that?"

"I'm going to a specialist hospital a town over... probably have to take the train to get there, but it's not that much."

"Oh. I see... Well, you should probably go before the sun sets."

He had been hoping to visit Furukawa, but she had already made her decision. Now that he knew the truth about Fuko, that she was dying, he had no choice but to assume he would forget her name soon. He tried not to think about what the plan meant, only reading the directions one at a time, but the questions nagged at him for the whole train ride. As perhaps he should have expected, he could not successfully distract himself with his assignments, though he did complete them, more or less.

The hospital was larger than what they had in Hikarizaka, but he guessed that was par for the course, if they took people in from other towns. As little as he liked it, he was starting to get an idea of where he was going. _Yoshino must have been talking to her, so that she could hear him. If these instructions mean what I think they mean, I'm supposed to sabotage something._ He dug through his bag, but there was nothing he could use as a screwdriver. _Damn. If I had read them all, I might have known I would need something like that. I guess I'll have to figure it out when I get there._

As he walked into the hospital, finding the door to the basement unlocked, and exactly where it was supposed to be, the reality of what he was doing there started to sink in.

_Please don't let me figure it out, Fuko. I don't want to know what I'm doing._


	22. Last Resort

Somehow no one stopped him on his way down to the hospital's basement. It would have made things easier, but his life seemed determined not to be easy. Tomoya did not think he looked like he was supposed to be there, but perhaps the body language they were reading only said he did not want to be there, that whatever he was doing, it was not a young delinquent's mischief. Perhaps they just saw him and did not particularly notice him. He re-read the last instruction.

_Open the third fuse box and cut the connection on the top left._

There was no room for misinterpretation. He continued to suspect Yoshino must have told Fuko something about electronics, and her ability to move around as some sort of ghost must have been less limited than he had assumed. _Even then I knew she was confined to the school. It wasn't just that I never saw her leave; it didn't enter my mind that she ever went anywhere else. It wouldn't be that she was stuck where she got her injury that put her in the hospital, because there's really nothing that could hurt her that badly at school._

There was some medical scholarship that suggested comatose patients could hear people talking, but they usually did not remember anything if or when they woke up. _That's something else I know I heard, but I don't remember where. Huh. It's almost like I'm in a coma._

It was a possible explanation, to be sure, but his life felt too real to be a dream, and he knew he was just distracting himself. Since it was not the last decision to be made, he set about removing the cover on the third fuse box, which surprisingly required no screwdriver, but a key that had been under the door mat. _I was wondering when I was going to use this._ He also wondered if Fuko were capable of going anywhere in Hikarizaka, and if she could have seen everything he did, but he would likely never get the chance to ask her. No matter what happened today, he would forget she ever existed, and if she continued as a ghost after she died, he would be unable to see her.

The fuse box was a complicated array of electronics, but he had actually seen something remotely similar on the powerlines where Yoshino had been working. He heard a noise coming from upstairs. _That's probably an employee coming to drag me out of here. Well, looks like I can't stand around any more._ He found the appropriate connection and tried to remove it without electrocuting himself, though his hands were already shaking. _Please don't let this be what I think it is._

_No, why would I start getting lucky now?_

Right as he was about to sever the connection, the door opened and it was Ibuki-sensei, with her fiancé right behind her. Everything was still for a moment.

"What are you doing down here?"

The question was useless, but no one cared. Tomoya did not answer it. He turned back to the switch, but something was telling him not to touch it. _I could, though... the wire is already grounded..._

"Okazaki... we believe you." It was the former teacher's voice; he was not looking. _Funny. I don't believe you._

"We found out about the starfish. Your father even mentioned Fuko by name. There was no way you would have known that starfish were her favorite animal, and it explained a lot about the conversation we had a while back." Yoshino was talking normally.

"You went from there to thinking that your girlfriend's sister is walking around the school as a ghost?"

"That was a rumor going around. I heard about it from Furukawa," Ibuki-sensei said. "When she asked me about my wedding on that day I came to teach, she mentioned my younger sister, who had not come up in any of my previous experience with her." She paused for a moment. "I know it seems weird for us to believe you all of a sudden... in your place I would probably think of it as too good to be true, but it was a lot of things that we should have noticed before."

"It isn't your fault... you were the first to see her like that, of course you'd never believe in a ghost of the school." He tried to explain how the closer students got to the reality of the situation, the less they could believe in Fuko. They would start to notice her less and they seemed to forget she ever existed, even though she must have introduced herself to everyone in the school at least once. "It's over now, though... all of us know it. Sooner or later we won't be able to see her."

"Is that why you came here? Did she ask you to?"

He held out the list of instructions, allowing them to take it and read it several times.

"Okazaki... I don't know how to tell you this..."

"I think I know. I didn't want to believe it; I tried to keep from realizing it; I really tried..." He sank to the floor with his back against the wall. "...but even if that's what it is, there's no other way, is there? It's not even about forcing the two of you together anymore." He wanted to change the subject, if only slightly. "How did you find me here?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you earlier today," Yoshino started. "Yet you absconded. We were going here anyway, and Kouko got a call from your friend, saying you were going here." _Ryou_ "It meant you knew about Fuko, the terrible truth that has made itself manifest in her short life." _He must have wanted to ask me if the rumors from the school were true. He knew what his schedule was, so he knew he'd meet me on my way._

Tomoya decided he need not say 'that explains it'. He looked back and forth between them.

"Okazaki, I also realized something," Ibuki-sensei said. "I didn't want to be somewhere else when my sister died, that much is true. I even considered moving to this town so that I could be near her every day. More than that, though, I had to at least be in mourning when she died, if it happened while I was asleep, or while I was on my way from one place to another. I couldn't be happy. That was my issue. It had nothing to do with responsibility, just guilt. I still want to be there for her final moments, but it's... it's not my fault if I'm getting married. I took an entire day to teach a class and tell people that it wasn't going to happen, and that might have been her last day."

"So you're going through with it?"

"As soon as possible. The best time would have been before she was in danger, but now the best time is now. We'll have to hope she holds on."

They were upstairs before he knew it; he did not believe he watched himself go all the way there. His mind was in a million places at once, and nowhere was one of them. Fuko was asleep and hooked up to a few different machines. She was a little older than he had seen her, and she was skinny, even her face was pallid.

"I'm sorry I'm going to forget about you. I really tried to avoid it." There was no response. "I wish I had known you before." He did not know what else to say. He waited and listened as her sister made the announcement that she would be married as soon as she could, and if at all possible, it would be at the school. Yoshino had his arm around her. _Maybe he doesn't just like the sound of his own voice. Ah, well, he's probably a good singer if he was some kind of rock star back in the day._

They left shortly after, mostly because the other two wanted him to go home to his father. It was a quiet train ride, so they asked him about what his deal with his parents was, and he explained it, hopefully better than his father had when Ibuki-sensei had a long chat with him. He started with his mother dying, but he also told them about Kotomi. It was somehow not as long of a story as he had thought. They waited patiently for him to finish before commenting.

"Do you think your father does not see you as his son?" the former art teacher asked. "Perhaps he sees you as a grown man already. That would make sense, as you're eighteen."

"Well, it started years ago. As I said, that's kind of why it's not an issue anymore. Reality kind of caught up with his perception of it."

Nothing was said for a moment. He supposed he was more or less ready to go out on his own and act like an adult, though he would miss the allowance. He had started saving it as much as possible in the last year, but he doubted it would last him long, even if he only ever spent anything on food. _I should probably eat with my father a little more often. That'll save me some, at least. It probably won't have any other positive outcome._

"Okazaki, what's Fuko like?" Ibuki-sensei asked out of nowhere.

"She's exactly the way you left her, I think. She's a few years younger, she's always spacing out, and she's obsessed with starfish. I'm not all that good at describing people, I don't think." _I don't know what Kotomi was saying about how not much gets by me or whatever. It feels like everything's constantly rushing past me, and I just always have to act, I can't slow down and think about anything._

They arrived at the Hikarizaka station shortly, and from there it was hardly a walk home, so he insisted on taking it alone. He doubted he would meet the strange man from before. That kind of thing was rare by nature.

His father was asleep when he arrived at home, but there was rice on the hot plate. The bottom had nearly burned, but he ate it anyway, or most of it. If his father wanted to save a few hundred yen every so often, that was fine by him. It was not as if he ever spent money on himself, apart from the alcohol, so he probably had a considerable disposable income as an accountant of over thirty years. _He would have had the job before he was married._

Sleep came to him uneasily, even as there was a sense of finality with the marriage a present reality, there was the matter of when it was going to happen. It still seemed too easy, even though it had very nearly taken a turn for the worse. _It makes sense for Ibuki-sensei to get married as soon as she realizes that's what her sister wants more than anything else. She just had to be told that, and believe it._ Tomoya did not think he would have attempted to tell her the truth except out of the same frustration he had experienced, and he doubted she would have believed it unless she heard it come from his heart. The idea of the evidence just sort of piling up but being easy to ignore was something he had experienced himself, so he could sympathize with that.

The following morning he realized they still did not have class, but out of habit he got his things together and set off in the direction of the school anyway. It was not as if he had anything to do at home, and he might see one of his friends. As it happened, Kyou was waiting for him.

"Hi, Okazaki," she said, waving. "I heard you were with my sister at the debates yesterday." Somehow she made an innocuous statement sound accusatory.

"We're friends," he responded. _She wouldn't know anything about my memories. She would just think it might be awkward after Ryou decided that going out with me 'was not in the cards'. Ah, well, I didn't actually ask her._ "What are you doing here?"

"I'm helping," she said, looking away all of a sudden. He saw the Furukawas just past the entrance. Sanae had a clipboard she was looking over and Akio was standing next to her, scratching his head. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

"What?"

"The wedding, stupid, it's today!"

He had no time to ask 'what' again before he started to see students gathering at the gates. Many of them were carrying wooden starfish.

"How did you tell everyone?" he asked.

"You can thank Sunohara for that. All of his supporters are here. So are Sakagami's, though, so no one's really getting any points because of this," Kyou explained. "Ibuki-sensei has had the dress for years, so all that was left for them to do last night was go and get a few of their guests." _Ryou must have asked the school for permission at the end of the day yesterday. She probably never told them when. I'll have to take the blame for this if someone gets upset about it._

He found Sakagami in the courtyard, where the groom was putting together a bit of a stage with some of the boys. He looked a little out of place, among a bunch of high school students, but he might not have had too many guests anyway. He gave a casual wave.

"How did the debates go yesterday? It looked like you pulled it out in the end."

"Well, I think it went like your friend was hoping and she only lost by a small margin, just by mimicking everything I said."

"That was when you asked the teachers."

"Yes, for some reason when I asked the students, they said that I was the clear winner." She looked genuinely confused. _He managed to keep from being exposed, but only because he was dressed in that gaudy idol girl outfit. I can't imagine where he even got it._ It could have been another gift from Mitsurugi, but that only asked another question. _I guess he's also a few centimeters shorter than his opponent, so that probably helped._

"Well, we're not the groom, so we're allowed to see the bride. I think you should meet her."

Tomoya led the presidential candidate through the guests, casually milling about as they were. He suspected that she had actually heard relatively little about the wedding, since he had wanted her to concern herself with the election, but opportunity knocked at odd hours. One never quite knew when it was time for a teachable moment.

"Hi, Ibuki-sensei." She was in a long white wedding dress with a silver sash. It seemed a few of the girls had taken it upon themselves to help her get ready, but the girl with him was star-struck. "Have you met Sakagami? She's running for president."

"Why, that's admirable. I suppose it would not be inappropriate to give you my endorsement, since I am no longer a teacher, but it would still feel weird." She squinted. "Are you all right?"

"Oh... I was just thinking that you were admirable. I mean... you're so... immaculate."

"Every bride needs to be." She looked in a mirror. "It would hardly be a perfect day if you couldn't soak in the staring of all your guests without any of the self-consciousness. I dress practically, most of the time, but as an artist I always valued beauty. There was a poet named Khalil Gibran who said that we live only to discover beauty, and all else is a form of waiting."

From their stares it seemed the girls felt their presence constituted a crowd, so Tomoya walked out.

"You said you wanted me to meet her?"

"It went pretty well, actually."

A few moments passed. He saw the Furukawas again, guessing their daughter had asked them to come on her behalf before she forgot. _What was it that she was forgetting, the wedding? No, would she have known about it? I didn't know about it until I got here._

"Why did you want me to meet her?"

"I think you're worried that if you win the election because of letting Kyou help you, that you won illegitimately." He allowed her time to respond.

"Well, people should vote for me for the right reasons," Sakagami explained. "I don't approve of the way my opponent makes the whole thing into a beauty contest- or a popularity contest." She looked over all the students as they filed into the courtyard. _Around half should be her supporters._

"I mean, I've said that high school students don't vote for the right reasons. I think it goes deeper than that, though. I think that if you want someone's vote, you should show them you want it. It's not a bad thing to let someone help you with clothes and cosmetics and stuff. Those aren't bad things. I just wouldn't know anything about them, which is why I got Kyou in on it."

"Did you think I was... never mind."

"No, what is it?"

"Did you think I wasn't attractive before?" she asked, looking away. "Sorry. I know that's a hard question."

"It's like... do you think the bride, Ibuki-sensei, is ugly on a daily basis?"

"No."

"She doesn't go nearly that far, though, as she does on her wedding day." Sakagami nodded in response. "That's really all it is. Don't make a massive change to the way you dress and stuff normally, but if you let Kyou help you, you'll be more confident when everyone's watching you. It won't be something where you're just giving your opponent the advantage."

It appeared the ceremony was about to begin.


	23. Down to Sleep

Tomoya and Sakagami looked around in the crowd for people they knew. It seemed Kotomi was not in attendance, which was odd. No one had seen her. _That must be why I'm feeling like we're all missing something. She did say she would come. Did she never get a wooden starfish?_

The nature of the wedding invitation was odd, but he accepted most things that were odd. If he tried to figure out the hows and whys of the entire world he would be in way over his head, more so than he was already. Fortunately it appeared the presidential candidate was receptive to his advice, as she had not directly contradicted his advice thus far.

"What does she think? Have you asked her about how I should campaign?"

"She likes you already. I don't think she knows how you're perceived by the other students because she doesn't talk to anyone else." _It's weird, she seems to respect me because 'nothing gets by me', because I'm not 'a normal high school guy', but there's definitely something getting past me right now._ "Who else is missing?" he asked. "Somehow I feel like it's someone apart from her."

"Well, I think Ryou has been doing a lot of work arranging things, so she's resting somewhere, but I don't know which of your other friends would be missing. Is that Sunohara's boyfriend over there?"

"Yeah, that's Mitsurugi. Go talk to him if you like; I don't think candidates are supposed to hate each other's guts." _It'll look bad if either of them get on your case for trying to be nice._ Sakagami seemed to agree with his idea. _She doesn't know which of my other friends would be missing because she doesn't know all of my friends. She might have met my father, and obviously he's not here, but..._

He looked at a wooden star that another student had set down for some reason. _I guess it is a little heavier than it needs to be. How did we decide on this as a wedding invitation?_ The present date and the school's courtyard had been cut into the wood. _It's actually pretty good Kanji for the surface. Did they always say this? I could have sworn they were just blank stars and that was why it was weird._

His feet had taken him back to the top of the hill facing school gates while he was thinking about it. _Do I expect someone to come through here? Is that how it happened in my memory?_ As if it were the most natural thing in the world, his father turned the corner at the gates and started walking up the hill.

"Hi, father," he called out, somewhat curtly. "You got an invitation too, didn't you?" It was a moment before the old man responded, because he wanted to get closer. Over his shoulder it seemed Kyou was trying to get him to come find a seat, because it was starting, but there was something important. There was something that could not wait.

"It was the one you gave me, Tomoya," he said quietly. "You told me Fuko made it. Is this Fuko?"

A wave of memory crashed into him, not unlike the time he talked with Furukawa about Fuko as she stared out the window. _That's where she is now- it has to be-_

"I'll go get her-" he said, cutting himself off by turning and running. He sprinted into the new school building, looking into each classroom as he went. _Where is she? Can I still see her?_ He remembered getting the star from her the first time and seeing a bandage on her hand. Though he could not have been there longer than five minutes, his thoughts already started to turn to the old building, purely because he had not searched there. Checking everywhere he had seen her, he doubted he had rushed half as much in any basketball game. He told himself to keep his head, that he would just take a moment's rest on the steps before resuming the search, possibly in the other building, possibly outside, possibly he could call the hospital... _They might tell me that she's already dead._

The world had never seemed darker. Here he was, about to watch his friends get married, and the girl who made it all possible could not be there.

He thought back to having a row with Ibuki-sensei. He thought back to last night, standing in front of the fuse box. _No, that's not what this is about. I can't just content myself to say that at least she got her wish. She has to be here somewhere._ Tomoya started to rise, but felt a hand alight on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Okazaki," the girl said, sitting down next to him.

"We have to go out- the ceremony's starting-"

"I won't be there for it," she whispered. "I don't want my sister to worry about me." He thought about it for a moment. _If she really believed her sister was wandering the school as a ghost, she'd feel obligated to come here every day looking for her... would she be able to see her? How long would it last?_

"Do you want to watch from the window?" he asked quietly. She nodded. They walked to a window in the hall. _I'll tell Yoshino that I looked, but I couldn't find her._ Below them the scene played out in the courtyard. Koumura had apparently been asked to give the bride away, which seemed appropriate, at least based on age. "Why do you think you won't be around much longer?" he asked.

"You're the only one who remembers me," she said, with the same sad smile her sister wore so well. "Sooner or later my name will have no meaning to you," she said. _No, that isn't true, my father... he'll forget too. I learned from Sunohara that you forget even if you never knew her. With the old man it was just slower because he lives under a rock._ "It looks like you realize it too."

"Let's just watch what happens for now," he whispered. Ibuki-sensei was staring at Yoshino, without the slightest concern about anything else in the world. The guys he knew were not normally interested in weddings found themselves interested in the bride, but it seemed the girls were none too jealous. For a few of them, the beauty of the whole thing was a point of pride. Flowers had been collected from around the school and made into a bouquet to be tossed into the crowd. He felt like it was something that had happened a million times before, but that added to the wonder rather than taking anything away. He caught sight of Harada and Sugisaka and wondered if they had been singing a traditional wedding song.

A suspicion grew in him that the former teacher had been right about his wanting her to get married because of something missing in his life, but it was not his mother. Somehow, watching the kannushi speak to the crowd while bride and groom looked only at each other felt familiar, though he knew he had not attended any weddings before. _Was I married? Did I just want to get married? Did something happen at a wedding?_

It seemed unlikely that he had been married in that bizarre dream with Ryou. It seemed less and less real the further away from it he was, but perhaps it did not matter anyway. This time he was fixing things, he was applying himself to help people with their problems. That version of himself was just what would have happened if he did nothing. There was no way the man in the dream was a husband, or even a good friend.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Fuko asked, taking him back to the present.

"No," he said, thinking it was a reasonable question. It was one way to ask if he would ever get married. "I think I want one, but I haven't really put any effort into it," Tomoya thought back to the conversation he had with Kotomi, where she said that a girl liked him. _How did I know it would haunt me anyway?_

"Well, that's good. If you had a girlfriend, this would be... totally not cute."

"I think any girl who agreed to go out with me would probably have to put up with my friends being girls. I don't think I've gone a day without talking to a girl in the past few weeks and I don't know if I could do it." It was not a simple matter of liking hanging out with girls; they were his friends. Though Sunohara had made his school experience tolerable for the last three years, he could probably give up talking to him before giving up hanging out with all his friends who happened to be girls.

They went back to watching, just as the vows were exchanged. They were actually pretty lengthy, as if all the time spent waiting for this day to come had left each of them writing more and more. _Wait a minute... there's another reason that you can't see me anymore, isn't there?_

"What?" Fuko asked, perhaps seeing his expression. "Has Okazaki become jealous? Did Kouko get snatched away from him?"

"You're still dying," he said, knowing she was being silly to distract him. "Can't you just try to wake up? You must have, but isn't there any way we can help you?"

She shook her head.

"Don't believe I'm over there. Don't believe I'm dying." She extended a hand, the one without any old cuts. "Please... hold my hand."

He took it without thinking about it and they went back to watching. Bride and groom exchanged a chaste kiss, and there was a round of applause. The former art teacher walked to the edge of the platform and it seemed like every girl in attendance swarmed in front of her. She gave it a good toss, and it landed somewhere in the middle of the crowd, though for the life of him he could not see who caught it. He wanted to turn back to Fuko. He wanted to try to come up with something they could do. _She just wants me to be here for her._

Below them the crowd cheered as Yoshino picked up his new wife and carried her down from the platform he had erected. _We're going to have to take that down and clean everything up, aren't we? I'll have to get Sakagami to shame her supporters into sticking around and helping out. Well, that's if Sunohara doesn't think of it first; then they'll have to outdo each other._ The bride was carried out of view and he was left staring. It was not a far walk to the house where she had been living, but in a wedding dress she would probably prefer to be driven, even if that meant being driven in the electrician's work truck. _Well, she might just like nothing more than that._

He thought back to their conversation in which she was trying to get him to pursue his dreams, even though their own had not worked out as expected. It was clear that they had each other now, which was good, though for a long time that was still up in the air. They would have been content, for several years if necessary, to delay their union. _Is it okay to just let your dreams wait like that? Or was that not really their dream?_

Lost in thought, he contented himself to watching the students clean up. It appeared both of the candidates were encouraging their supporters to pitch in, though suddenly he was uncertain of how he wanted his preferred candidate to play it. If she made all of her supporters help with all sorts of volunteer projects, he imagined she would become less popular, even if she made herself look better. He smiled. _Well, she would do that even if I advised against it. She's probably not even thinking about how it will make her look better._

"Umm..."

"Yeah?"

Fuko surprised him by throwing her arms around him.

"I don't want to go. Fuko is too young." He put his arms around her.

"I agree. You're only in high school." _Why is she talking about her... didn't she not want to talk about it?_

"Please don't leave, Okazaki..." Her eyes were glistening. "Before I... before I go away, I wanted to spend my last few moments with you." She closed her eyes and he kissed her, pressing her against the window overlooking the courtyard. She was not surprised. She wanted this to happen. _She wanted to be treated like a girl once._ He noticed he was pressing the hand he was holding against the glass, and felt like he should release it for a moment. Her body felt like it was growing warmer.

Fuko retracted to breathe heavily. She had her other hand against the glass without his help. _Does she want me to hold it there?_

"You've kissed a girl before..." It was not an accusation in the normal sense. "I know you have."

"You've never been kissed before, but you've been wanting to try it," he guessed, pivoting slightly. He could not swear he never kissed anyone, but if he had, it was only in the strange memories he had from time to time. She put her arms back around him.

"It would have been before my first day here... when it happened. Fuko always wanted to be a cute high school girl and have a lot of friends and a boyfriend."

"There's nothing wrong with that. I just didn't expect it."

They held each other for a few moments.

"I'm feeling sleepy, Okazaki... can you put me in the sun?" _Why?_ "I've always wanted to go to sleep in the setting sun, where the light will gently wake me up."

"Okay."

There was no fighting it. He did not want to think about how she would wake up, or what would happen to her in real life, or if she would even wake up in the sense that she was hoping. He felt so helpless, leading her by the hand to her final resting place. They went down the stairs slowly until she could no longer move. She was stumbling, so he picked her up. She felt light, but still very much alive.

They were outside, and he set her under a tree, where in a few hours the sunset would reach with its final red rays of light. They stared at each other for a moment without saying anything. Fuko looked comfortable, turning her eyes to the leaves as the light filtered through them. He decided to lay down next to her, for a moment though his thoughts drifted. Perhaps someone stronger could hold her hand until she disappeared, but he could not think of anyone who fit the bill; anyone around, anyway.

He thought of how he saw Harada and Sugisaka, but their club president was absent, so it was quite possible she was involved with planning the wedding. _She knows Koumura pretty well, since he's their advisor, so I guess she could have pulled some strings. She'd have met Ryou back when they were doing that singing competition, since she was managing attendance as class representative. Yeah, if anyone could have gotten the wedding through the teachers and the school officials, it would have been Nishina._

The girl next to him looked like she was falling asleep. He had so much more to ask her, and he wanted to keep her awake, for all the good it would do, but somehow it seemed like her time had come. Somehow it seemed like she was only taking a well-deserved rest. He thought of how her sister and Yoshino had looked over her sleeping form, wondering if she would ever wake up, and though he felt sure it was actively being dashed, he wished they always did have hope that she would. Resting his own head against the tree, he found it oddly comfortable.

A strange man was staring at him from a distance.

_Is this a dream?_

It seemed he was somewhat older, perhaps his father's age. He wore a brown suit and a matching bowler. It seemed he was doing nothing in particular, just waiting with an uncanny patience. It was starting to creep him out.

_This had better be a dream._

Ordinarily, he woke up from dreams quickly the moment he realized he was dreaming, but it seemed that was not going to be the case this time.

"Who are you?" he called out. "Do I know you?"

"I believe the question is whether or not I know you," the gentleman responded. "You look strangely familiar, though if I have ever seen you before, it would have been when you were much younger."

 _You wouldn't be that much younger._ It felt impolite to voice his thoughts, so he restrained himself.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "Did you want to see me about something?" All of a sudden he knew where he had seen the man before. Once he had passed him by on the way to school, and another time he spotted him from the window. At the time, he assumed the man was the oft-mentioned Kinoshita.

"Why, I've come on behalf of a young lady you may know. I was wondering if I might speak to her, the daughter of the late Ichinose family." He took of his hat. "Kotomi was her name, I believe?"


	24. The Future

Tomoya woke with a start. He was under a tree for some reason, sitting against it at an odd angle when it looked like there was a more comfortable place to lie. Getting unsteadily to his feet, he felt half-ashamed. He did not like the idea of falling asleep wherever; it was a change he had tried to make in his life, if one to which he would commit only a minimal effort. Looking around, he remembered the strange gentleman from his dream. _Why does he want to talk to Kotomi?_ He thought for a moment it was a vision, as he had with Ryou. _No, that's not possible- it was a conversation. It must have been my subconscious trying to reconstruct information that I have buried somewhere. That's what dreams are supposed to be, anyway._

Thinking on it, there was a chance that the vision was just a product of the same force behind his tenuous memories, so it did not surprise him, or it should not have, that there was another form to consider. _Well, I wouldn't know that I can actually get dreams like that on a regular basis. I haven't even considered it being bull, though. Most dreams are._

Walking out of the school gates, it seemed the sun was setting, but he did not quite know where to go. He could obviously go straight home, but the evening was still young enough. He caught sight of what looked like a couple of gangsters patrolling the area, but he knew not to get involved with that. _I'll go see Furukawa. I'm kind of obligated to at least check up on her once, since she and I were... doing something together. Was it a project?_

On his way to the bakery he found a note in his coat pocket, which looked like a series of instructions, but they made absolutely no sense and he could not imagine why he would want to carry them all out. The strange thing about it was that it had a circle with eyes at the bottom, which was how the girl he was visiting drew 'dangos', the strange life forms that she idolized. The note was otherwise meaningless to him; the kind of thing he would toss without even thinking about it, or perhaps just leave somewhere with no real intention of picking it up again. His room at home contained a few stacks of paper that his teachers had handed him over the years, like homework, remedial homework, permission slips, and graded work; it seemed like the note was already on its way to one of those stacks.

Akio met him outside.

"Hi, Okazaki. You better not be here to visit my daughter. It's too late in the evening for us to accept guests, and it's too early for Nagisa to be accepting male guests."

"Oh, when can she?"

"When she's thirty." Sanae opened the door behind him.

"Oh, good evening Okazaki. Nagisa's asleep right now."

"Oh. That's okay, I guess. I was just coming to check on her, so I guess that tells me something." _I still shouldn't be getting too close to her, all things considered. Now that whatever we were doing is over, I don't need to see her._ His guilt assuaged, he went home. It was not a far walk, but it was monotonous having to go the same way every time and he usually just took it as quickly as possible. His father was awake, and there was some leftovers being heated in the microwave. It seemed most likely that the food was something the company had catered and he took home whatever he wanted.

"Tomoya. I was hoping you would be back." He had no particular response, but he felt like he had to say something.

"Thanks for coming to the wedding," he said, remembering some odd feeling of gratitude for the fact that the old man had been there. The change in his expression was inexplicable. He looked so touched and so happy that he raised a hand to his eye.

"It was no trouble. I know your friends wouldn't want an old man tagging along most of the time, but I always liked weddings." _He's in memoryland again._ They sat down at the low table and started eating. The food was good enough for having been cooked once, but it was hard to ruin Malay rice and meat. He had an odd memory about his father trying to reheat eggs a few years ago, which might have been dangerous, but he did not seem to mind running the risk. The phone rang.

"I'll get it," he said, glad for an excuse to get up. It was the former art teacher, whom he would have to remind himself to call Yoshino-sensei.

"I'm home from the hospital," she said. "We wanted to see Fuko right after the wedding." _How many times can I remember everything and forget everything all over again? She must have disappeared when she went to sleep under that tree..._

"What did they tell you?" he asked.

"They said she's out of danger."

"What?"

"We wanted to tell you sooner, but we know you're not usually home until late. That was what your father said, anyway."

"So she's asleep, then? There's no sign of when she'll wake up?"

"We just have to hope." He could almost hear her expression over the phone. _She's right, though. I'll probably forget, but there's nothing to do but hope._ He ate his dinner and got ready for bed. There did not seem to be anything to be gained from further conversation with his father, but he did listen to some odd story about what happened at work. As Sudou had said, the company was being investigated for fraud, but he was optimistic that nothing would come out about him. Lying awake in bed, he decided he could worry about more than a few other things than his father's company. That was the kind of thing that always seemed to happen to someone else.

All around him there was this strange sense of calm.

He stared at Fuko, still asleep, even after years had passed. She had to be in her mid twenties at least, though her condition was perfectly unchanged.

"Thanks for coming, Okazaki. I think it's good for you to get out of that apartment every so often."

"Huh," he said, not really responding. _Do I just not have anything to say to that? Would I have preferred to stay there?_ "I mean, it was on the way," he excused. They stared in silence for a moment, not saying anything to each other. Eventually he, or the future version of himself, could no longer look at Fuko. "How's Yosh- how's your husband?" he asked.

"He's good; he's happy with his work. The old boss is retiring and Yusuke will probably end up with his job, which will be good for him as he gets older himself. We never needed a lot of money."

"Well, you don't have kids." _That was rude. At least say something after that._ "I just mean that if you did, you might have another reason to be... enthused about being promoted." Tomoya wondered if Kouko ever got back into teaching, but he supposed it was possible she was done with it entirely. His future self seemed none too inclined to asking. Instead he just stared at the sleeping young woman, as though she would just suddenly wake up at some point. _She's older now than her sister was back then._

"I feel like this is a bit personal, but..." the former teacher started. "Well, instead of asking you... the reason Yusuke and I don't have any children is because he is infertile. We think it's a good thing to have them if you can raise them and take care of them, and that's a respectable effort, but it didn't work out."

"It didn't work out, huh," he muttered. _Don't say it._ "I guess that's how things are a lot, isn't it?" _Just stop. Don't bring her old dreams into this._

"We felt like we weren't ready to adopt, with Fuko still in this condition," she deflected. "If we could have had a child of our own, it would have been different, but there's so much I have to do for her and so much I shall have to do when she is released that it's just not the right time." She turned back to her sister. "Maybe there never will be a right time. My worst fear is that Fuko will never wake up, but I have to have hope."

"Huh." There was a beeping on the monitor screen. "Is she all right?" he asked.

"I don't know. She could be going into arrhythmia," Kouko speculated. "I think the machines automatically notify doctors whenever something like this happens, but it can't hurt to ring." As she got up to hit the button resting next to Fuko, the door opened and a doctor was standing there.

"Did one of you touch the machines?" he asked, going past them, his eyes focused on the patient.

"No," Tomoya said. "No idea what's going on."

Nothing was said as the professional tried to ascertain why the heartbeat sensor or whatever it was called was going all over the place. _Everyone's worried about what will happen except..._ The future version of himself broke the silence with a yawn.

"Did she just die?" he asked quietly. "Sorry if that was..."

"I'm getting some kind of response," the doctor muttered, touching the face of the sleeping young woman. Her eyes opened.

"Fuko!" her older sister exclaimed, going under the doctor to throw her arms around her.

"Oof- Kouko, I'm awake, I'm awake-" she croaked, her voice likely sore from lack of use.

"Please give the patient some room," the medical professional ordered. He was being polite, but he would not be disobeyed.

"Of course, sir. I'm very sorry. I'm just so..."

"Stressed?" Tomoya guessed.

"Well, I don't know where I go from here, but it's a lot of things. It's stress, it's uncertainty, it's relief, it's confusion, but more than anything else I'm happy."

"Your sister seems to be in a stable condition. She should be ready to leave with the appropriate physical therapy," the doctor said, turning to go. "There are people I should notify of this development."

He and Kouko turned to her younger sister.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"I'm... Fuko is okay... when did you get so old?" she asked. "You have to be thirty now."

The older sister laughed after a bizarre pause.

"You've been in a coma for eight years, Fuko. You're a grown woman now. I'm already married." Fuko looked down at herself.

"Oh. I was looking forward to being in high school." She rested her chin on her hand. "I guess I should get married too. Okazaki, would you be interested-" A change in her expression indicated he was communicating something to her, though through his own eyes he could hardly imagine what. She frowned. Kouko frowned.

"Please don't ask him things like that, even if you're not being serious," she asked of her sister. _Did I just glare at her or something?_

"Why do you look so-" Fuko started.

"Well, I am old. I got old waiting for you to get out of bed." _That wasn't what she was going to say._ "I guess I'll leave you to it," he said, getting up.

"Okazaki... thank you for... everything... thank you for getting Yusuke and my sister to get married..."

"It wasn't any trouble," he responded, not turning around. "That was just the kind of thing I did when I was an idiot in high-school."

He woke up to some sound coming from outside, nearly falling out of bed, though he could have sworn he saw a pair of lights flash. Steadying himself and looking at the clock, it was time to be up anyway, but putting on his uniform hardly seemed like the most important thing.

 _That definitely wasn't a dream, and neither was the one with Ryou. That had to be something that actually happened._ He sat up. _If that actually happened, then it happened in some timeline where I managed to help Fuko._ He raised a hand to his face. _What? Why? Why would that version of me help her?_

The question genuinely baffled and upset him. _I have to get ready for school anyway._

His sense of achievement with helping the Yoshino family was deflated, to say the least. He knew he had done the right thing, or as close as he could get it, and it was possible he saved a girl's life, but evidently it was something that a total jerk could pull off. _Well, if you think about it, I really only would have had to tell them that it would benefit them financially or something. I think what eventually convinced Kouko was that she was content to leave her sister's side for practical reasons, like going to see her fiancé or going to the school to teach for a day._

The path to school was the same as always, though he did not know whether to interpret that as some kind of taunting from the universe or some kind of sign that he had screwed up or anything else. Perhaps for the first time, he wanted to ask the class representative what his fortune was. _No, I'm not going to ask her about that. If my future self is right about one thing, it's irresponsible. It's one thing if it's just for fun, but I can't let that happen. I can't ever be that guy._

In his first class, he refrained from looking over at Ryou. It was not her fault, to be sure, but now he knew for a fact that the vision of the future with her was in some way real. He knew he had to thank her for her efforts with the wedding, but he also had to thank Nishina, so perhaps he would thank both of them through her. Class was a welcome distraction for once, so he did his work without complaint. It felt like it was even easier than normal.

Powering through his other classes, his thoughts came back with a vengeance. He felt like he was in way over his head, but he always was. For some reason, he could still remember Fuko, but perhaps that was something that only applied while she was a ghost. _She only started being a ghost out of desperation. She must have heard that her sister was going to delay the wedding- the first day she started wandering around the school could have been the original date._

He managed to stay on target until lunch break started, when his teacher asked him for a word as everyone else left.

"I've noticed that you've improved, Okazaki."

"Oh, well, exams are coming up, so..." he trailed off. It was probably better to give people the idea that he was only cramming at the last minute, since that was more believable than the truth.

"I don't think that's it. I think you have improved substantially, and in a short period of time. Even if you only care about the exams, and not about learning the material, you've shown you're at least disciplined enough to stick it out. At the beginning of this year, I was having trouble getting you to stay awake in class. You would have been a real anomaly, if it were not for Sunohara." _I can't let him get on that subject. There's no way I won't say anything he hasn't already contradicted in some way._

"Well, I... had some work experience... I got a feel for it anyway, and it just... it seemed like I've been taking it for granted how easy school is. I don't know, I think maybe most delinquents like myself probably just need to work in a factory for a day if we skip school for a week. It's something you can hear a million times but not believe until you have to do it yourself."

"I see. Well, I believe that if you keep up your effort through the exam, you could get a decent job. You live with your father, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, as I'm also your guidance counselor, I need to speak with you and him about your future, which has a good chance of being productive. Have you thought about your career?" _Funny you should ask, Ryou asked me the same thing a few days ago, and that was basically the first time._

"I mean, I don't know exactly what I want to do, just that I don't want it to be hard labor day in and day out. I've always liked basketball, but that's not really possible anymore. There are supposed to be jobs surrounding that, but I don't really know what I would need to do to get one." It seemed the teacher noticed his somewhat embarrassed expression.

"No, no, that's alright; there's still some time. I'll tell you what, I'll meet you and your father this evening after school."

"Uh, I can't guarantee that'll work out..." he delayed. "He doesn't come home until late and... well, he doesn't really care what I do with my life. I can pretty much guarantee that he'll just tell you the same thing himself."

"We shall see," the guidance counselor responded, his eyes narrowing. _I guess that's one way of putting it._


	25. Career Path

Going to lunch with more concerns than he had at the beginning of the day was something Tomoya was beginning to think should be disallowed.

Kotomi saw him on the way there, and he thought of his second vision. _I should concentrate on this issue while she's in front of me._

"Um, Tomoya? Is there any way- what are you doing right after school?"

"This teacher asked to accompany me home to speak with my father."

"What did you do this time?"

"I've been putting it off. Apparently they have to go to your house and speak with any parents you might have about your future at some point. Didn't they do that for you?"

"Yes, last year." _Why am I not surprised?_

"What's in your future?" he asked.

"I'm going to study in an American school and see where that takes me." _She's probably right. She could go anywhere she wants, really._ "I don't really support the model of picking one thing early on and sticking to that your whole life. If it's being picked by anyone intelligent, it's not being picked by you, so they're not taking your preferences into account, just your abilities."

"I mean, that would suck, but wouldn't we have good doctors and good lawyers like that?"

"It's possible, but your preferences factor into your willingness to put effort into your job," Kotomi explained. "If you go through a classical education, you should be qualified to choose whatever field you like and think suits your abilities."

"A classical education?"

"It's the model we're mostly using now, though there is some effort to change that. We got the term from the fact that the Romans educated their children in a broad sense that allowed them to choose where they would go from there once they were old enough. There was, though, one group of people they did force into a specific line of training from childhood based on whatever they thought their abilities were as children."

"Who?"

"Slaves."

"Huh. I guess that is what they would do if they had slaves." Tomoya did not know much about Roman history. _I don't know how anyone in Japan learns about it, really. We have our own ancient history, and there's always China's if you run out of ours._ "What were you going to ask me earlier?"

"It's not important. I actually have to go see someone else," the girl said, getting up and walking off. _I guess it could be someone who can help her after school, if I can't. It might have to do with that weird guy. I have to go to class soon enough anyway._

On his way back he saw Miyazawa and asked her about the gang members patrolling the streets. Apparently they were friends of hers, and they were looking for Kinoshita, who had disappeared. A basic description of him confirmed that he was not the same person as the older gentleman always waiting for Kotomi, or at least some of the time. They had no time to really get into details, and he couldn't promise to meet her after school, though that was what he would have preferred. _Maybe I can get Mitsurugi to help with this. He seemed to know something about gangs from that time he was being held after school._

Classes went on and again he welcomed the distraction they brought with them. For once they actually seemed to fly by, though he was paying attention. For the first time in what might well have been years, a teacher called on him, making Sunohara gasp. It was not a helpful or informative outburst. He answered the question, which was about the treaty between the United States and Japan, something he had read in the last class. Looking over the books became a little more interesting when it started to make sense, but it was not as if he liked it.

He decided he was a bit glad that he never had Kouko as an art teacher, since he would have definitely disappointed her. Perhaps she would not say as much, but he never really felt inspired, or knew what that even felt like, so art was always something that escaped him. He tried to represent things objectively, but that always seemed pointless, even if it would pass him. It was never terribly enjoyable to put effort into things he was just going to toss out.

Walking home with the teacher, he felt like running again, but he could not have said where he would go. _It seems like even when you do the right thing, you still end up with a terrible future. Well, it must have been terrible, for me to be acting like that._ He wondered what could have happened until running into the door to his home, narrowly remembering to unlock it and open it first.

"Like I said, he isn't here, so just do whatever; I'll be working on something." _This should get me ahead in the long run. I don't like not being able to be there for my friends, but at least I won't be worrying about doing work tomorrow._ It still annoyed him for this to be the case, but he found that going ahead and doing his assignments generally resulted in less stress and better understanding of the material, while putting it off only had the effect of having to do old work when they were no longer discussing it in class. Tomoya ignored whatever the teacher said about staying outside for the time being and went up to his room. He rarely did any work there, but he rarely went there except to sleep, so it was always clean at the very least. Working efficiently for a few minutes, he found himself throwing a pencil at the ceiling, though he had no expectation it would stay there. _Damn. I know I'm burning time sitting here when I could be going out and doing something. I don't have an option in school, so I take the opportunity to get things done, but if I could just get around the damn guidance counselor somehow..._

There was a window, but if he got out the teacher would probably just leave upon discovering that and then he would be in the same place tomorrow. _He's really got no reason to come up here, as long as he thinks I'm up here working. He might just leave if it takes my father too long to get here, but it seemed like he was pretty committed to the idea. He'll probably talk with my dad even if I'm not here, because he's already spoken to me about it._ Making up his mind, he opened the window and went out of it. It was not the first time he had done this; there was a period where his old man woke up early every day of the week just to wait for him to come down. He could hardly beat his father out of bed, going to sleep as late as he usually did, so he tried to get up later, but he never knew how late was late enough. _He couldn't have made himself late every day, he'd have been fired. At the same time, the school would have let me go if I were extremely late every day._

Getting out to the road, he set off for the park. _It'd be weird if my father picked now to come home... but who is that, then?_

A man matching the basic description of Kinoshita was coming the other way.

"Uh... hi," he said, trying to look inconspicuous. _They've been looking for him and he's just walking around? Wouldn't he be in a ditch somewhere?_ It seemed the man did not see him coming down the sidewalk, occupied as his eyes were looking in all other directions. They widened sharply when they looked ahead.

"Please don't hurt me-" he started, raising his hands to his head. "I haven't been doing any insider trading for the mob. I don't know why they keep coming after me."

"I don't know why you think I'm one of them," Tomoya responded. "Whoever they are."

"I saw you talking to one of their enforcers- you must know him, the one in the suit?"

"What's his name?"

"Ryu- or that's what he was calling himself. You really don't know him? The moment I saw you talking to him I went the other way." _If he doesn't know why they want him, I guess there's no point in asking._

"Has the other gang made any contact with you?" he asked.

"They said they'd keep the yakuza and their minions off my back, but why would I believe them? I can't tell the cops that the mob suspects me for insider trading or whatever it is; they'll arrest me." _I don't like it, but he's right. If word got out that they didn't at least make the arrest, they would be in hot water._

"I guess you'd have no reason to believe me either. I'm not one of them; I'm just some guy who walks around solving people's problems for no reason. You've been leaving work early?"

"Yes. Anything I can do to throw them off, I take the chance," Kinoshita explained. "I just don't know what else I could do about them."

"The only thing I can think of is throwing the other gang at them," Tomoya ventured. "This whole thing is an effort to prove themselves to the yakuza- that guy, Ryu, he's their point of contact. He's the only one in a suit, anyway. If they can't hack it against any old street toughs, even the feared Miyazawa gang, they won't succeed in proving themselves. At that point, they'd probably forget all about you."

"You've been in contact with them, then," the skittish man surmised. "You know someone who's in the gang."

"I know their leader," he said. _Why did I just say that? Miyazawa... isn't he supposed to be in the hospital?_ His eyes narrowed. _-or do I remember it differently?_ "I'll see if there's any way of arranging a rumble." _It was suspicious from the start. If she could give orders on her brother's behalf, she could give the orders herself and no one would know the difference._

"A what?"

"A- It's something gangs do. I read about it in a book once. They can be used to reapportion territory, and if everything goes well, we can get their territory expanded so that you won't have to pass by Sasaki's gang anymore."

It was a bit of a far-reaching idea, but he had some hope that it would work. There were ways to manipulate the results of fights before they ever happened, as long as he knew enough about both sides. There were good reasons actual governments no longer used trial by combat, and they had little to do with not wanting to see blood spilt. _The best part is, if Sakagami wins the election, I can potentially ask her for help. She may not agree, but it would be more likely if Miyazawa did some kind of favor for her first. We'll set the date for the rumble pretty far in advance, so the territory will be neutral until then._

Getting back home, deciding to work on something for a minute as he sorted out his thoughts, it slipped his mind to go back in through the window and he showed up at the front door, right as his father was getting there. The teacher looked confused for a moment, but said nothing about it.

"Okazaki, I've come to discuss your son's career path. I know you've probably had some stern discussions with him, but he's made some substantial improvement."

"Oh. I'm sure whatever you have said to him is enough. Tomoya is quite independent. He'll make good choices."

The guidance counselor seemed to have difficulty understanding what he was saying.

"So now that your son is legally an adult, you have allowed him to make his own decisions?"

"He's been quite insistent on making his own decisions for years, as a matter of fact. I didn't want him to quit basketball, but he wouldn't listen. I told him it was important to his future." It was Tomoya's turn to be stunned, lost in thought. Most high school students were more interesting to various schools and programs if they were involved in sports, but that was never why he played the game; he just loved it and that was all he needed. "He told me he never wanted to play again, no matter what I did to try to convince him." The old man sighed. "I decided I must have really misunderstood him. It's been a great shame of mine, not understanding my own son. Maybe his mother knew what was best for him. I was the backup parent." He shook his head. "One day he confirmed my fears. I tried to take him out to eat to a place I thought was his favorite, and he told me I never understood him."

This time he could be sure his memories were from the changeless expanse of the past, the black and white story that was the same every time. He remembered being with his family in a small Italian place with the red checkered tablecloths. He knew the food was not anything special; that was not why he asked his father to take him back every time the team won a game. He just wanted his mother to know he still loved her.

He tuned out most of the conversation between the teacher and his father. The teacher suggested business; his father said it would be fine if it was what he wanted. The teacher suggested low level management; his father said it would be fine if it was what he wanted. At length the guidance counselor pushed up his glasses with an annoyed expression. _He's probably been to a few houses where the parents expect their kids to make the decision, but in most of those they've been having conversations about it for years._

"Why don't you ask what kind of jobs there are and pick something you like?" his father suggested. Oddly, it reminded him of the short discussion he had with Kotomi.

"That seems like a good idea," Tomoya said. _Anything to get out of this conversation. I don't think I can take much more of this._

They made some sort of plan to go over available jobs in the area on the following morning in place of one of his classes, which was basically fine with him. Ryou would tell him if he missed anything important, though she had been trying to do as much for the last year at least. She was probably enthused about the recent improvement in his academic efforts, since it seemed she had been hoping he would suddenly start caring about school at one point. _It's not really that I suddenly wanted to go to college; it was just that school became the least of my worries._

Going up to his room, he thought about going outside again, but he had already given away his trick. _Well, if I leave, my father won't care. It could be basically my fault that he won't care; I don't even know anymore, but he still won't care._ He looked out the window and it was already dark. _Damn._ He turned back to his work. _Well, it doesn't matter. I really can't do anything else but work now._ Making good on his naïve idea about getting ahead so that he could focus on helping his friends later, he did his best to do all his assignments. He took the chance and tried to abuse his strange memories, but somehow differentials never came up in the rest of his life. _Take that, Tanaka-sensei. Well, you were right about my being useless._

He gave some more thought to his career. It seemed kind of pointless to go after the whole thing about sports management or whatever kind of job he could have landed, but there was genuinely no harm in looking. The worst he could do was waste some time, and at the very least he had a wealth of experience with that particular activity. It sounded more interesting than school work, and he could have the satisfaction of a job he chose, even if the pay could not be expected to be a lot, so he would at least be a little proud of himself. He had the idea that it was the kind of thing where you needed to know someone to get anywhere, because really reading through a stack of cv's was the last resort for most employers; they would rather have someone they knew personally because they would know the objective qualifiers, and there would be no need for an interview. _Is that something I remember?_ _Well, at least it's relevant._

Tomoya definitely could not see himself sitting through an interview giving cookie-cutter kiss-ass responses to the expected questions. _What's the employer even supposed to learn about you from that? If everyone knows how to 'ace the interview', how do they pick the right candidate?_ He frowned. _At least that answers a question about Sakagami. I'll have to get in touch with her tomorrow._

He had another thought about his future before going to bed. Wherever he ended up, having girls in the workplace was a deal-breaker.


	26. Danger Relativity

Tomoya walked to school with Kotomi, who met him almost right outside his house.

"What was that thing yesterday?" he asked, remembering she wanted to know if he were doing anything after school. _Couldn't have picked a better day._

"Oh, it was just that I was worried about that man following me. I didn't want to go into details in case you were busy with something important."

"Do you think he's some kind of pervert?" He did not exactly like her implication that her concerns were not important. _Well, she's probably aware of everything else I have going on in my life, or most of it. She's probably two steps ahead of me._

"I don't want to take the chance, really. If he had good intentions, he would go to my house and meet my guardians."

"Does he know where your house is, or does he just know where you go to school?" he asked. _If he were really just some kind of pervert, he'd have picked an easier target at this point. He's after Kotomi specifically, and it seems he's tracked her down._ Remembering his dream, he doubted the strange man's intentions were really bad. He referred to her as a 'young lady', he recalled, and knew she was from the Ichinose family. _That's right... she moved house after her parents died. He might have known where they lived, and guessed she went to school at Hikarizaka, but he wouldn't have any way of knowing where she lived._

Perhaps he knew it from a memory, but he could be nearly certain schools kept the information of the students from outsiders, especially strange men who stood around outside. He did not know of any time a student had been assaulted, but he would not have been told about it if it did happen.

"I don't think he knows where I go after school. When I left yesterday, he was waiting for me, so I went out of the building and took the longest way to get to where I live."

"Well, that would explain why he hasn't talked to your guardians. I could try to walk you home today, so you could meet him when they're around." _I'll just have to make damn sure nothing else comes up._ "I guess it won't prove that he has good intentions if he talks to them, but you would at least know his name when he introduces himself." Kotomi seemed to consider his proposal as they passed through the school's gates.

"I'd be giving up the location of my house, but this has to go somewhere," she decided. "Sooner or later, he'll catch up with me, and I would prefer that my guardians were there." She glanced over at him. "I'd also prefer if you were there."

Tomoya nodded. He was the last piece of her old life, besides the house, and she seemed to have no desire to go back there. He understood her.

Classes that morning were as expected, except for when one of his teachers told him he was excused to go to the teachers' office for half an hour. _Well, I was expecting something along those lines._ The discussion was pretty quick; apparently there was a list of jobs for which the guidance counselors thought students could reasonably get at different levels of academic achievement. It was a helpful list to receive, but it did not immediately narrow down his decision. Basically, there were some jobs that were out of reach, even if he did spectacularly on the final, but then there was a wide range that he could conceivably get depending on how well he did.

Looking under 'average score' in one of his other classes, there was nothing that seemed terribly interesting, and nothing that had to do with sports. _Damn. I did know that you'd only be able to get those kinds of jobs if you knew someone; they don't just post a job that they can fill with someone on the inside. Really they only post it if they're having trouble filling it._ If he wanted a job in the sports industry, he would most likely have to talk with someone who knew someone. That was the best he could offer himself.

Lunch was upon him before he knew it, and he found Sakagami. _I can't ask her for help with the rumble just yet. Not only have I not gotten Miyazawa to agree to it, I can't ask her for help with that sort of thing before she gets elected. She's got so much on her plate with the campaign she can't afford to spend a night fighting street toughs._

What surprised him was that she was wearing lipstick. He would not normally notice that sort of thing, and it was a natural tone, but it was unusual for her. _I'll have to thank Kyou._ He ate quickly while she explained the latest poll she conducted.

"I asked about forty students in different grades. It's not enough for a proper sample, but..."

"Don't do any more polls. You have to try as hard as you can to win and you'll just annoy people." _People already don't care about the elections. Polls are the last thing they need._

"Well, suppose I have a lot of support among the senior girls, but not a lot of support among the junior guys."

"You wouldn't learn that kind of thing from a poll unless you polled the whole school, and it would drive people up the wall. I'll get Sunohara to do it." _He's enough of an idiot he'll think it's a good idea. I'm not using any unique information from the other candidate to sabotage him._

"Whatever happened to your friend, the one with the same name?" she asked.

"He's getting lessons or something. You know Furukawa?"

"I've met her."

"Basically, she got held back because she missed too much school last year. She said she was too sick to ask someone to come tutor her." Tomoya looked around for anyone listening in. "I don't know how, but he must have heard about that and figured out that you can still pass if you get a tutor. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that people need a reason to pick you as opposed to your opponent. The thing is, any policy can just be copied. Even if you tried to come up with some sentimental reason for why they should vote for you instead, she could copy that," he continued, forcing himself to say 'she'. _I can't just give away his identity. It's a breach of trust; it's being a worse friend than I've ever been._

"So what should I do?"

"Keep doing what you're doing. It's the hardest thing to do sometimes, but when you're not doing anything wrong, it's better not to do anything different."

He was back in class before he knew it, though his thoughts were not all there. He wanted to tell Miyazawa about his idea; the sooner the better, because he had started to feel bad for Kinoshita, even if he did turn out to be guilty of something. The man apparently worked at the same company as his father, and if they were being targeted by the yakuza, then something might come out about the old man as well, and that would be a disaster.

Thinking more about his future, any job prospects he had would be jeopardized by some family member of his being arrested; it was just something that no one wanted to leave to chance. It was bizarre, the way the system of accountability worked, but it made sense if he thought about it. Essentially, if someone had the choice between hiring someone whose family member was suspected of being a criminal, and anyone else there was an obligation to hire the latter. Since that was the way things worked as long as he could remember, he was surprised it did not work that way in other countries.

_It really is just the fact that people think it matters if you've been arrested. If people don't think that, then there's no obligation for other people to distance themselves from you, and they won't have any reason to think that._

The rest of the day was uneventful; he spent most of the time thinking about what the guy following Kotomi might want. It was weird, but he still did not seem to be a bad guy with bad intentions, definitely not after the dream. There were several things he could have done if he were a bad guy, like tracking her down to her house so he could wait for her to get there, but he had not done so yet. _The best thing we can do is get the issue out into the open. The school isn't responsible for anything that happens between here and a student's home, and even if they were it's a 'no right if no remedy' problem._ He mentally shrugged. Every so often, he was right about something on accident.

He went to the library straight after he was finished with some work. He had expected to understand it better if he put some effort into it; getting it done more quickly was something out of a fairy tale up until recently. _This must be what her life is like. No wonder she spends so much time in the library; she's read every other book._

"Hi," he said on arriving. "I didn't see the guy when I passed by some windows."

"Well, that does not mean he is not out there." Tomoya turned away and shook his head slightly as she put her things away. Somehow she was being paranoid and naïve at the same time. She was assuming ill intentions in a stranger, which was fair, but she was not assuming he would apply the slightest amount of ingenuity in his efforts to catch her if he really were a bad guy. _She's the smartest high school girl in the world, but she's still a high school girl._ He glanced back at her as she walked up to meet him. _Well, maybe that's unfair. Maybe I couldn't think of anything better._

"We'll go out the usual way," he said, as if saying something mundane would keep his voice from betraying his thoughts. He tried to come up with ways to catch a smart girl on her way home. "He hasn't followed us any time that I've been there."

_It's been a few days since he started appearing, and there are only so many ways to leave the school. If he were trying to ambush her, he could have waited to the left of the gate one day, and to the right of the gate the next day. Even if he couldn't assume she'd leave by the gate, he could have picked one of the roads leading away from the school and waited on it. If he didn't see her, he could wait on another road the next day. Waiting where he could see her until dark would have either made her leave immediately, telling him she could get home without his notice, or make her wait until night fell to leave, when she would be easier to intercept._

_Since she knows he's targeting her, she should guess that he at least knows something about her. He would know that she was a good bit smarter than average, but also mostly without friends, which might have been why he picked her in the first place. If he knew anything more, he would know the loss of her parents made her determined to be independent, which explains all the effort put into school, the lack of friends, and the way she thinks of her guardians, though he wouldn't know all that. An independent girl wouldn't tell anyone that someone was tailing her, at least not at first._

He still wondered how she could be paranoid and naïve at the same time, since it seemed to be contradictory. In his limited experience, people did not really hold contradictory views; when someone said something that conflicted with something else, he or she was either lying or from some way of looking at it, it really did make sense. In this case, he supposed that both terms seemed a little silly, since one was overestimating the general tendency of one's life to turn out badly and the other was the reverse, as if there were such a general tendency. More than anything else, it seemed like a 'luck' stat like in an rpg. _Then it's one of those things that people just say without knowing the meaning, unless they really believe in luck._

"You seem quieter than normal," Kotomi remarked.

"Do you think you have generally bad luck?" he asked. _It'll answer my question, or one of them. I don't think I could ever have an answer to everything, so there's not much of a point._

"I don't know. Immediately I'm inclined to say that I do, since I lost my parents, but things still mostly worked out for me. I feel like I would be ungrateful for what I have if I said I were unlucky, since some children are abused by their parents." _-whether biological or adoptive-_ "Overall though, I don't know. It seems like whatever a bad thing happens, there's some way of fixing it or mitigating it at least. Does that make sense?"

"I get it," he answered. _So she's got bad luck, but she's usually capable of fixing her problems. She doesn't assume that everything can be fixed, though, because she doesn't have a replacement for her parents._

They walked in silence for a minute more before reaching her house.

"This kind of concerns me," the girl said, looking back at him as she knocked on the door. "If he didn't approach me while you were here, maybe he's just waiting for me to be alone."

"I don't know about that. To me it seems like the most likely thing is that he wants to talk to you, and he wants to give you a chance to talk to him, but if you don't want to, then he just leaves. I think if he were really a bad guy, he would have come up with some way of catching you before now." He thought about suggesting that he was waiting for someone else, but he knew it was false, even if he never told Kotomi about his dream. "I don't think he was avoiding you because I'm here. To be honest I don't know if he was even waiting for you today. Maybe he's given it up entirely."

"Maybe," she said, clearly not convinced. "Do you want to study for the finals? I've got some material laid out..."

He took her up on her offer, if a bit grudgingly.

By the time Tomoya went home, his friend had told him that she felt comfortable around him; that she does not normally talk as much with anyone else, if at all, and that she got a strange feeling about him, as little as she liked to put it that way. She felt that, despite all his recent behavior, and the way he treated people sometimes, there was this inescapable air of maturity about him, and she felt like she could talk to him about mature things.

_Must be refreshing. I can't imagine what it'd be like to be stuck with a bunch of middle schoolers or something. I don't know what about my actions makes me seem mature to her, though. It's definitely got nothing to do with the way I feel._

He almost did not notice running into Miyazawa and three of her subordinates. _That's right. They still think they're taking orders from her older brother._ He sighed internally. _I'm sure the Yoshino family would have heard about it if there were another comatose patient in the same hospital. With how much we talked right after that whole deal, they would have brought it up. She would also be visiting him on a regular basis rather than hanging out with his old friends at night. Even at the best of hospitals, they can't do everything; you're going to end up going there to bathe the patient at least every other day and they'll act like they won't pick it up again if you stop._

It was possible she was just too young to be dealing with it herself, and it was their parents who took care of everything, but difficult to imagine how they would be parents who were terribly involved in his life. She had already told him that he basically dropped out of high school to be a gangster after their father died. _He had to have had his reasons for it, but they couldn't have been good role models._

"Hi," he said. _If I don't pick up something else to use as a greeting this is going to stick with me for life._

"Hi, Okazaki. Have you seen Kinoshita?"

"Yeah. He said he's trying to avoid you and the other gang."

"Why didn't you tell her sooner?" one of the gang members behind her asked. _What was his name again?_

"I've been busy. I've got an idea though, and it's probably your best bet for getting him away from the Sasaki gang." Miyazawa looked interested, though she contained outward expression. "Have you ever heard of a rumble?"


	27. Understanding

Tomoya found himself walking to school with Ryou. Somehow it felt less awkward to thank her for her help, even though he knew the vision was real in some sense. He told her he had already thanked Nishina.

Memories of the previous night ran through his mind. Apparently, arranging a fight between two gangs was more difficult than he had thought, at least with these two gangs. He ended up going home without any kind of plan to show for it, and the only thing he could tell Miyazawa was that Kinoshita had approved of the plan. _There's so much going on with these guys; I can't afford to walk Kotomi home every day just to make her feel better._

"What's on your mind?" his friend asked.

"Well, it's a lot of things," he answered honestly. "I don't know what I'm going to do when I get out of here. I talked with the guidance counselor, but when you're on the bubble, everything depends on your scores on the final."

"Oh," she responded. "Well, I still want to be a nurse... so I have to have really good scores on the final."

"That's good," he said, not looking. "You'll be a good nurse because you're caring and helpful."

"Okazaki..." Ryou was blushing. _She's right; that's too personal. I shouldn't just say things like that._

"Sorry. That was a weird thing to say. I think you're going to make it, though." _I guess that means I can't blame my future on everything suddenly taking a turn for the worse either._ "I guess just do your best and don't have any regrets."

When they got to school he decided he would limit his conversation with the Fujibayashi sisters from then on. Kyou was fine, most of the time, but if he talked to her sister, he was either going to say something bizarre or just be silent the whole time and make her concerned by him. There was also the fact that whenever he remembered the vision, he could not help but wonder if he were on a collision course with ending up like that.

In class he looked over at Sunohara and sighed. He was still dressed up like a girl, so he was only pretending that the real Sunohara was home with a tutor; which was definitely something people would believe. Sooner or later, they would forget what he looked like, if they ever paid attention in the first place, and he would have no fear of anyone recognizing him for the rest of the year. _Is he going to keep the act up after he graduates and starts looking for a job? I keep thinking I should really blow his cover before Mitsurugi proposes or something. That would be a disaster._

If the constant presence of 'Mei' was getting concerning, the constant absence of Furukawa was already worse than that. He knew she was sick, and that she had been sick for a few months before, but he should not have been able to put her out of his mind as easily as he had. It was like he was grateful that she was away from school so he would not have to encounter her or his memories.

_I really wish the real Mei would just show up, whether he wanted it or not. He's probably got his whole family thinking he's contagious with something. If I saw her first, though, then I'd have to do something about it. That's what always sucks about having friends that- are against each other._

In the rest of his classes he worked quickly as though he would have less work later if he did homework in class. _Well, it can't hurt._ He looked around, though it was more or less futile. If people had lost respect for his lack of concern there was nothing for it. It crossed his mind that he could go back to the guidance counselor and ask if he knew anyone in any industries, but it seemed dumb to expect the man to do nothing other than help him. He already had a case of work ethic gone insane to go to the Okazaki residence and wait there for hours to talk to an alcoholic.

Taking a break rather than go to his next class, he went down to the reference room for old times' sake, if a week or so ago could be counted as old times. _Wouldn't be good to get their expectations up too high. It's probably the only reason they've mostly left me alone thus far; now I've got one badgering me about a career. Well, a minute ago I was about to badger him._

Reaching the unoccupied room, he took a seat as he pondered whom or what exactly he had just disappointed. It was admirable, in a sense, to have the sort of devil-may-care attitude and just worry about things whenever they presented problems that could no longer be ignored, but either because of his memories influencing his thoughts, or simply having seen them in greater detail and wanting to avoid them, he knew there were some things he could not afford to leave to his own luck. He could put off practical things like having a job or studying if there were ever some way of avoiding the calamity, and he would take any chance at that.

_What if Miyazawa's at the center of it all, though? What if, by helping her, I'm bringing that misfortune on myself? This doesn't seem like something my old self would have done- he must have gone through the same life without the benefit of the memories- so if I look at the kinds of choices the memories led me to make, I can get a better idea of how he ended up where he is._

It was weird to refer to a version of himself in the third person, but the host of the reference room entered and sat down across from him.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked. _Are we really doing this? Is this your escape from everything else?_

"No, I'd like to know if there's a spell we can cast on Sasaki, that's why I'm here."

"I would rather not know if magic is the way out of this. I know my brother would never approve."

"He would have never approved," Tomoya muttered. _How does knowing he's dead help me?_ "Maybe it's time to break from tradition." Miyazawa made an odd sort of expression.

"The idea of things coming to a fight may be closer than I had thought last night," she said, making herself tea. _She didn't say whether or not she'd attempted casting a spell to get out of her predicament._ "Yu told us this morning that most of the other gang is fed up with our patrolling around their territory. They don't really care if they see someone who doesn't belong to us, but they have said they will now attack us without warning if they see us there."

"Well, you won't have to worry about Kinoshita going through their territory if you win it in a rumble. Encroaching on their area is probably the best way of provoking them. Do you know what kind of fighters they have?" The girl frowned.

"I don't think you realize what you're proposing. We don't fight for fun; I've always known that. Somehow I didn't believe it... until I saw a human ear in the gutter." She looked down. "I know I should, but I didn't care whose ear it was. I just wanted to be done with gangs. I just can't walk away, though. My brother needs me to help his gang." _She must be attached to the members. That makes sense; she's probably been hanging out with them for years. They've depended on her, she's depended on them, and they all stick together._ He felt a frown forming.

"Well, maybe I've only ever been in fights where we don't injure each other, but there are ways of making a fight low-risk." He remembered from history class that Japan and the United States established rules of war, one of which was that ships were not allowed to fly enemy or neutral flags. "Just talk with Sasaki about what rules the fight should have, like no weapons or biting. That should cut down on the amount of injuries."

"Have you met him?" Miyazawa asked, shaking her head. "He's supposed to be a fair guy, so he would follow any rules he agreed to follow, but I don't think he would agree to any rules. Gang fights are almost always everyone against everyone, anything goes." _Everyone vs everyone? I thought they'd be picking their five strongest or something..._

"Oh... I didn't realize it worked like that." _They don't have a chance in hell without Sakagami._ "Is there any way you could set the date for the fight like several months from now?"

"They would ask why."

"Well, so your brother can get out of the hospital. If he's not out by then, it won't matter, they'll demand to fight you anyway."

"We still won't be ready."

"At that point Sakagami will either have the presidency or she won't be worried about it anymore. I'll ask her for her help."

"Now I know you don't know what you're suggesting." She sighed. "You know she doesn't want to go back to that, right?"

"Well, of course she doesn't, but she knows these people are delinquents and she's wanted to get them off school property all year. We can ask her to help on the condition that you hand the area around the school to her; then they'll be out of her hair for good." He rolled his eyes. _She probably hasn't seen her fight._ "Besides, with her on your side, you can't lose. It wouldn't matter how many of them there were."

Silence came and went.

"I still don't believe you understand," Miyazawa said.

"What would get you to understand?"

"Hit me."

"What?"

"Make sure you don't leave a mark," she said. Perhaps he had been expecting her expression to change.

"I'm not going to hit you. What would that accomplish?"

"It would prove to me you understand," she explained, without explaining anything. She still had the same sleepy look about her. _What was I expecting?_

"Understand what? They don't have girls on their side, do they?"

"I don't know. I know they have guys who are willing to hit girls."

"Well, don't be out in front. It won't do them a lot of good against Saka-"

"She's not invincible, Okazaki. Most of the fights she took back in the day were single combat." Nothing at all in her voice changed as she spoke. _Is that why I'm not taking this seriously? I'm still seeing the caring girl who believes in magic?_

"You heard things from the older gang members."

"It was only a little over a year ago. Some of it I saw myself."

As little as he liked it, he could see it being true. Single combat allowed her to use her speed to its best advantage, and with her style of kicking high, she would not need to worry about getting crowded. _I've only ever seen her go up against Sunohara and a couple of delinquents. If she went up against a real fighter, especially a ton of them._

"Well, we don't have to expect her to do everything herself. Your gang is at least as large as the other guys, right?"

"They have four people on us. We have fifteen, not including myself." She put up her cup of tea. "I won't be of much use. You're not going to be able to afford to stand around guarding me, you're going to have to split up. They're going to think they can defeat us in a stroke by knocking me out, and all we have up our sleeves is proving them wrong."

"You're asking the rest of us to abandon you? You can't just run?"

"That's the plan, actually. I run, three or so follow me, and that's three you don't have to worry about."

He thought about it. As long as she was a good runner, she would keep out ahead of them, since she wanted the rest of the gang to win the fight.

"Are you fast on your feet?" he asked, still hoping she could find some way out. If three winded enemies rejoined the fight after they were already winning, it would not make much of a difference. It was steadily dawning on him that he was going to have to fight too, and he was running the risk of serious injury. _Well, I guess she was right about how I didn't realize the seriousness of what I was suggesting. At the same time it looks like a fight was going to happen anyway._

"I am. It's a tactic we've had to carry out every so often, and most of the time it works."

"Most of the time?"

"I'm not the fastest person in the world. I can fall for tricks." She sighed. "It doesn't matter, though. I can take a hit, and if a police officer sees a few young men beating me, that will be it for them." _They'll probably drive you to the station, and then your home. We wouldn't have any idea where you were until after that._ He ran a hand over his face. It still seemed like the only way to win, and that was the only way to solve the problems at work.

"Yoshino mentioned something about street lights being taken out around the school. Do you know anything about that?" he asked as he got up. It was nearly time for their next class, so he had to find something to eat quickly.

"No."

His succeeding classes tried, but did not succeed in distracting him from his thoughts. He still had to meet with Sakagami; he definitely had to get her permission before things went any further, and he still wanted to help her with the election. It was his hope she had stopped badgering people with questions, since Sunohara was definitely doing nothing of the sort. Obviously, he was determined to beat his opponent, but as usual he had the lazy man's tendency of not connecting what he wanted with what had to be done about it. Not thinking about it was a way of not coming up with something to do, and not coming up with something to do was a way of not doing it. _It seems a lot like I'm just predicting his thoughts based on things I've probably told myself once or twice._

Tomoya made some tentative plans to ask other teachers about jobs after he got out. He had a list that was plenty long, considering it was conditional on his final score, he just needed help eliminating some things. He could easily go through and knock things out based on his own preferences, like being an engine repairman, as sounded like something that would turn his hands black for the rest of his life, but he would sooner to that after the list were shortened based on something more important, like his qualifications or the real availability of the jobs.

When school let out at last, he was slow to put his books away. His course work was starting to feel more and more like a distraction from everything else that was going on. _If all this bullshit with my friends being in trouble all the time was a scheme cooked up by my teachers to get me to study then I'll just have to murder them._

He found Sakagami in the courtyard.

"Oh, Okazaki, there you are. I've been wanting to talk to you." She was looking down. "Do you... well, is there anyone you like?" she asked. "Sorry. I told myself I wouldn't ask."

"Oh..." Fuko had asked him the same question recently. In her case, it had been because she wanted him to kiss her. _Let's hope that's not what's going on here._ "I mean, not like that. I took Ryou on a date once because she wanted to... go on a date, so if you find out about that..." he trailed off.

"I was thinking about something that makes me stand out, like you suggested, and I turned that to the subject of what makes my opponent stand out." She paused. _That's clever._ "I didn't see it before, because I always have a million things on my mind, but..."

"What?" he asked. She was somewhat taciturn, to where he usually had to have some input to get her to keep going.

"I think one of the reasons Sunohara is so popular among the girls is because she has a boyfriend," she explained. _Well, that's possible. He's supposed to be super eligible, but somehow no one snagged him before now._

"Well, maybe you'll be the one to show them they don't need one." It was an excuse and he knew as much. Tomoya just needed some more time to think, suspecting what was coming. Sakagami shook her head.

"So, I just need to ask something of you... it'll be the biggest favor I've ever asked anyone... and I'm sure nothing I could do could make up for it..."

"I don't know about that, actually," he muttered.

"... could you pretend to be my boyfriend?"


	28. Reasonable Doubt

Tomoya managed to hash out all the details with Sakagami before they moved on from that discussion piece. He established quite firmly that his friends, so really anyone he decided to tell, would know that he was pretending, or she would tell them herself that he was only helping with the campaign. She seemed to swallow as she nodded to that request, which was weird. The second thing was that he had actually come to her with an offer about helping the Miyazawa gang in exchange for the territory around the school, and she had to think about that one.

"Miyazawa... Kotomi told me about them, but I think I ran into them once a while ago. Miyazawa Kazuto was the only one who could fight me, and he was their leader. Is he still around?"

"No, it's his younger sister running the show. She says that she's only relaying his orders, but I'm pretty sure she's been in charge for years and the rest of them have some idea at least." _There's no way they explain everything she needs to make a decision, then she disappears for a few hours, then comes back with the decision. There is just no way she's that committed to keeping the illusion going, so if there are any of them who think her older brother's still alive, it's wishful thinking._

He briefly explained the issue with Kinoshita and passing through the Sasaki gang's territory.

"I was wondering about that. I've been so busy with the campaign..."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I heard from Kyou that the lights on the road she takes to school have been going out frequently." _Huh. That's right, Ryou was there too. I never knew they told each other everything._ When he thought of the girl who had helped Sakagami, he mostly thought of the draconian punishments she sought to wreak on him for whatever offense, real or imagined, but she was an interesting individual.

"The guy fixing them said it was starting to look like sabotage," he added.

"If the other gang is trying to kidnap this man, then it would make sense." Tomoya nodded to her experience. She would know more about how they would try to kidnap someone, like whether they would do it on the street or at his home; with weapons or trickery. What concerned him all of a sudden was that this Kazuto character was a match for her. _He must have been some kind of incredible fighter. Why didn't he just challenge the other leader to a fight years ago?_

"Well, I guess we'll have to see when it gets closer to the day of the fight." _Miyazawa basically agreed to do it as long as I held up my end of the bargain and recruited Sakagami. Well, that and hitting her, but somehow I weaseled out of that._ He understood it, conceptually, that if he could abandon a girl to get chased, then he could punch one in the gut where there would not be a mark. It just seemed like a pointless exercise in proving himself. _Don't they usually do that in gangs, though? They're always proving themselves?_

"Is it... okay if we walk to school together?" she asked.

"Yeah. You know where I live, so that'll work. Most people would probably just assume we're a couple after a while." He knew what he was saying, but he was mostly thinking about the rest of the evening. _I have to go find the gang and tell them that it's definitely happening. They'll need to get ready._

He thought about trying to delay it as much as possible, so the Sasaki gang would have less time to prepare, but they probably knew as well as anyone else that it was coming to a fight sooner or later. Having it right away was impossible because of everything Sakagami had to do, but setting the date too far in the future would be effectively abandoning Kinoshita. _It won't just be that guy before long. If their gang becomes an arm of the yakuza by completing this mission successfully, then they'll have a lot more work coming their way._

His idea of how the mob basically worked was limited, but he doubted it was as helpful as what Ryu was suggesting. There were good reasons for the illegality of a lot of the things they sold, and they would not be getting away with all of their minor crimes without being in bed with corrupt officials. It was definitely one of the things making his problems seem like they were always getting bigger.

As he walked around the park, where he was hoping to find the Miyazawa gang, or some element of it, he remembered the time the other gang found him and Sakagami just taking a walk. _They weren't really supposed to be here, but then, they were probably set off by her sudden reappearance. She was supposed to have quit being a delinquent, after all._ It occurred to him that Kotomi was walking home by herself, but that was to be expected. If she even saw the strange gentleman, she would almost certainly realize that he had no bad intentions at all. _If she really wants to walk home with me after this, I guess... Oh, wait. I'm supposed to have a girlfriend now._

He wondered exactly how much of a catch he would seem like to the girls around the school, but his hopes for helping the campaign were not exactly high. Any given girl could probably get any guy who was not taken; she really just had to be willing to take the risk of his behaving badly or her reputation getting worse rather than better. If it said anything positive about Sakagami that she had him for a boyfriend, he guessed it was confined to the fact that she was not terrible to be around or naïve, which was how some girls viewed other girls who were waiting. It was kind of like videogames, where if you were bad everyone else was a hacker, and if you were good everyone else was a noob. _How do I know that, though? Did I ever ask girls how they looked at each other?_

"Hey, aren't you Okazaki?" Surprisingly it was a younger guy. He looked like he was in middle school, actually.

"Yeah. Your name is Yu, right?" _He got into this because his older sister ran off and was seen with one of the Miyazawa gang- could've been her boyfriend, I guess._ "Aren't you a little young to be in this gang?"

"No. After I went to your friend looking for my sister, I realized they weren't bad guys after all." He was looking away as he spoke. Perhaps he was expecting someone else. "I never had an older brother. Really, I didn't have a lot of friends, either." Tomoya nodded, figuring it out. It was more rewarding for a young man to get approval from an older male friend than a contemporary, though there was also the chance he was looking for a role model.

"Well, tell them we're going to be having a rumble with Sasaki's gang. It's not going to be pretty, but I hear the fight is a long time coming and things could get really bad if you guys lose Kinoshita."

"Why's everybody always talking about him?" Yu asked. _I guess no one explained what insider trading was to the middle schooler. Color me surprised._

"It's complicated. We think the other gang's been trying to grab him on that street over there." Oddly, the boy shook his head.

"We'd have seen them. I've been patrolling that street with Tajima and the foreigner for at least a week now." _They're really keeping him in the dark. Well, that's the best thing for him, I suppose. There's no way they're going to let him show up at the fight, at any rate._

"Who's the foreigner?"

"It doesn't matter. Are you going to help us fight the other gang?"

"Yeah. You can tell everyone that Sakagami is going to join our side- but don't let it slip before the other guys agree to the rumble." _The last thing we want is for them to realize we're just picking a fight we know we can win._ In a sense, he supposed it was about as cowardly as hiding behind a girl in a street brawl. _Well, I'm not going to be hiding, just Yu. Miyazawa's making a run for it, so we're not as worried about her._ He had not been in a real fight before, so he knew it was going to be different from any scuffle he had ever fought in the past. As little as he liked to admit it, he had spent most of his life avoiding fights.

Seeing as he still had an hour or so before he should really return home, he went to the boys' dorm, seeing Sagara by the door.

"Hi, Okazaki. How are you these days?"

"Things are okay, mostly. How are you?" _I want to ask what her problem is, but I really don't want to get involved in anything else right now._

"Oh, nothing, just thinking about how old I'm getting, surrounded by all these young people. Did you know one of them asked if I had been here when his parents were in school?"

"I'm sure he was joking." In all honesty she was still young, but she was at a point where anyone could exploit her fears. In other words, she was twenty-seven. "If anyone ever calls you old again, just think about how much older you could be. Like, when you're ninety three, you'd take your current age in a heartbeat." She nodded.

"I'm sure I would." _Did she not acknowledge that I was only saying... what was I saying?_

Tomoya entered the building without further comment. He guessed he could play matchmaker again, when everything else was over, but everything else was doing a good job of not getting done. It was starting to seem like one thing came up before he was done with the last thing. Or, that was the case, and it was starting to seem intentional somehow.

Getting to Sunohara's dorm, he knocked, finding a disconcerted Mitsurugi staring at him briefly from the other end of the hallway before he entered. He entertained a momentary notion that he could get the rugby player's help in the rumble, but it was a tall order and he really had nothing to give the guy.

"What's up?" he asked as he closed the door behind him. "Did he do something?"

"Well, I've been telling him I don't like being touched."

"Smart."

"I've also been saying that I'm determined to save myself for marriage."

"He didn't propose to you, did he?"

"No, all he did was plant a sudden kiss on my cheek." The blonde boy scratched his right cheek as though it was bothering him. "I told him I was going to have no further contact with him until he learned to behave himself."

Tomoya stared silently.

"Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but he might be thinking that you don't love him."

"Well, I don't."

"I mean, I know that, but I think he loves you." He sighed. _Again, I can blame myself. I honestly just thought the whole thing would be funny._ "I think you should at least tell him you don't love him. You don't have to tell him it's because you're both dudes, but..."

"I can't do that. I've already told him I love him like eight hundred times!" Sunohara objected.

"What? Why? Don't you know that you're messing with him-"

"He used to beat me every time he-"

"Yeah, because you were being an idiot. Did you ever notice how no one had any sympathy for you?"

"Yeah, like you. You weren't trying to help me when you told everyone I was into guys, and then when you told Mitsurugi that I was a girl. So I'm fixing my problems myself."

"You've been enlisting his help the entire time and he's been helping you-"

"I know that. I've been getting him to help me because I can trust him. I can't trust you, because you've been talking to Sakagami." _Might as well tell him now._

"Well, what's wrong with that? She and I are going out. We tell each other most things. I haven't told her you're a guy, because she would be able to use that-"

"You're going out with that girl?" Sunohara asked, angrier than expected. "She's... manly! She could give me advice on how to diminish my jawline!"

"She's not manly, she's just better than you at fighting and probably stronger than you because you're a wimp. Every so often someone comes along who just happens to be the best in the world at something, and she's the best at fighting. That's really all there is too it."

"How is that possible?!"

"It's because you're lazy. We're both lazy. If you learned to fight and tried to get stronger, you'd probably stand a better chance. Apparently some guy named Miyazawa Kazuto managed to fight her to a standstill. Basically, everyone she meets either thinks it's impossible to beat her or that it's too easy, and either way they lose. That's how she's won most of her encounters. I can't think of any time someone's fought her and hasn't come at her with some extremely predictable strategy."

They did not have much else to say to each other and Tomoya left. He was annoyed that his friend seemed to think Sakagami was a guy, or that she was bad at being a girl. It was true that she needed some help from Kyou, but that was because of how she grew up. It occurred to him he knew little of her home life, but she was out on the streets at night fighting for quite the period, so he suspected her parents were either absent or not terribly attentive. In some of the anime he had watched as a kid, it was weird, but there was this trend that high school students would live all by themselves, and he could not imagine that happening in real life. If a kid's parents died, there was an obligation for other relatives to take him or her in, and failing that the kid went into the system. There was really no circumstance where a minor lived completely alone for any extended period of time.

Going home, he thought about what it would have been like to go home every night and have his father not be there. There was a time when he would have said he would have liked it, if only to himself, but really he would have been scared, being alone. Somehow having a mostly absent, alcoholic father was better than not having one at all. There were better and worse times, he knew, but he could hardly remember the period right after his mother died. It was not as if he had been a mewling infant, but that was generally how memory worked, as he understood it; the further back you went the less you could remember.

The following morning he woke up to find Sakagami downstairs. He remembered a time when she nearly dragged Sunohara out of bed, but that was not her objective this time. _I should have told her to meet me later. Can't really tell her to wait outside._

"Hi, Oka... Hi, Tomoya," she said. "We'll have to get used to calling each other..."

"Oh, no, I get it." He looked around for any trace of his father. _He might have left extra early this morning, I guess._ "We probably shouldn't act all that differently when we're together. Mostly people don't get a complete personality transplant for this kind of thing."

"Oh, no. That wouldn't be what I would want at all,"

They were out of the house and walking. There was a woman walking past and somehow he recognized her, though he did not think he had ever seen her before. _There's nothing for it. If I saw her in a memory, it's probably not something that matters._

"Did I keep you waiting?"

"No, when I wake up early, I get work done. I knew you like to arrive at school right when the first bell rings." _Huh. That's thoughtful. Well, that's better than saying I'm always late, because I'm not late anymore. Well, not most of the time._

"What do you want to do when you get out of here?" he asked.

"I want to go into politics," she said, sounding oddly chipper. It was not a normal tone her voice had. Her emotional range seemed to go from gentle smile to disappointed frown, though he could be almost certain that was just her lack of expression, not emotion. "What do you want to do?"

"I'm kind of still working that out," he admitted. "I have it narrowed down a bit, but I need to get my scores before I can tell where I'm going."

"Oh, I see. Well, you can always ask me if you want help with something like that. I'm sure I could put in a good word for you no matter where you go." He smiled without otherwise responding. He was not going to ask a girl pretending to be his girlfriend to be a reference. _If anything, I'd make her look bad._

Suddenly he found himself reconsidering the whole venture.


	29. Reputation

_What was I thinking? I'm not going to lift her up; I'm going to drag her down. How could I not see it before?_

Sakagami had been trying to maintain the image that she was as far from a delinquent as possible, that her past life, if it existed, had no bearing on who she was today- a serious, motivated student with outstanding prospects. That reputation was completely shattered by the young man walking next to her. _There's no one else she can ask, and she probably doesn't see how bad of a catch I am, but it's better for her not to have a boyfriend than be seen with someone like..._

He could hardly just ask her to call the whole thing off, because that would hurt her feelings, but being seen with him would be a disaster. Most girls never even looked at him because he was bad company. _It's an achievement for a young man to get into a relationship, but it's not the same for a young woman because there's an infinite supply of dick out there. It's the easiest thing in the world for her to get a boyfriend, so the only thing having one says about her is where her standards are._ As little as he liked it, a young woman had to maintain relatively high standards to be held in high regard, and he was not emblematic of high standards.

"Hey, Saka- uh, Tomoyo, I have a ton of work to do today, so I may not be able to hang out with you as much."

"That's fine," she said, smiling. "I know about how you're trying to help Miyazawa."

"Right, that's another thing."

As soon as he got into the building he took the quickest route to class. It had never been such a welcome distraction. He came up with a new plan for how to deal with the fact that Sunohara had a boyfriend, and it was a bit better for Sakagami's candidacy than her plan, if he did think so himself. After the first class, Kotomi was waiting outside the door. _I'd better see what she wants._

"I went home by myself last night," she said.

"Did you see that guy again?"

"Yes, and he followed me a little ways before I started running."

"I'm sorry, I had to help Sakagami and Miyazawa with something. I really didn't think he'd be back." _I also didn't think he would chase you._ It sounded a little like he gave up too easily, but perhaps he was just that old. _No, if he followed her for a street or so, then he would know where to wait next time._

"I understand that you have other friends, but..." She sighed. "I don't. I did ask you to help me with this and I suppose I could have been more specific, but I thought you would understand."

"Did he seem like he gave up too easily?" he asked. "Could he follow you where you wouldn't see him?" There was an old trick in movies where detectives would park a car with tinted windows at various places along an expected route.

"I can't answer that. I have to get back to class."

 _Damn._ It irked him, but he had more or less dismissed the strange gentleman as a concern. _Even if he isn't a bad guy, there's the problem of how she thinks he is._

In his next class, it occurred to him that he had asked a stupid question. It was remotely possible that the stranger could follow Kotomi without her seeing him, and that his not having done so was proof of his good intentions, but she would have no way to know he had been doing that. For all she knew, he could be checking the traffic cameras on days when they did not see him. To make matters worse, if it was the case that he was observing her path without her knowledge, then he probably already knew where she lived, meaning he could have introduced himself to her foster parents and chose not to.

He worked until lunch, when he took the opportunity to find Mitsurugi at the table with all the other rugby players. He seemed disinterested in eating; Tomoya decided he might have more of an appetite for conversation.

"Break up with Sunohara," he said as soon as the young man was away from his friends. "She doesn't love you; you're just a prop for the election. She told me there is literally no chance you will ever be allowed to kiss her or hold her or anything else. She doesn't want to touch you." _I'm only telling him things he should logically be able to figure out on his own. It's not my fault he's never been in a relationship before._ He thought a moment. _Have I?_

"Well, that's not all that different from what I suspected," he said. "I can't just turn it off, though. I can't just decide to stop liking her."

"It's easy when you stop acting like you like her. I guarantee you the second you're not dancing to her tune, she'll be mad at you. If you tell her you don't think you have a future together, what exactly do you think she would say?" he asked. "If there were any chance at all of the two of you being a couple, she would at least let you give her a nice hug. If she cared about you at all and appreciated anything you did, she would welcome the opportunity to go to the beach with you; but I guarantee she'll refuse it." _Okay, that's borderline, but I can pass that off as a general statement._

"I mean, I feel like I have to prove that I'm not after her body," the rugby player explained. "She said I was obsessed- what's it going to mean if I break up with her right after that?"

"What it's going to mean to her doesn't matter. What it's going to mean to you is your decision." For some reason he felt like it was something Kotomi would say.

At some point he ate and walked back to class. Sunohara losing his boyfriend was going to be much more effective to the cause of Sakagami than his acting like he was in a relationship with her. It was better than putting them at an even zero to zero; his candidate had never been dumped. _Except, well, I'm kind of dumping her._

He thought about whether or not he liked the girl enough to actually go out with her. It was sad because, when he thought about it, he did like her, and she was pretty, but she wanted to have a future. She would, plain and simple, not have one if she went out with him. Were he alone he might have pursed his lips or sighed, but he did not want people in class to realize that his mind was elsewhere. There was reason to be sad over math class, but just realizing it now would be uncharacteristic.

As he worked he took cursory glances out the window, unsure of whether he did so more frequently or less frequently than in the days when he spent most of class either sleeping or finding some way to distract himself. It was unlikely that he would just see the strange gentleman standing around out there; he was more likely to see someone from the Miyazawa gang. _Wait a minute... what if the reason he's not there some of the time is because he doesn't want anything to do with them?_ Most of the members were tough-looking by his estimation, even if they were supposed to have hearts of gold. It made sense for a random older fellow to be avoiding them. _Could I get one of them to walk Kotomi home? No, this gives me an excuse to get away from Sakagami until I find some way out of our arrangement._

Deciding that he would have to explain it to her somehow, as well as see the gang leader at some point, he nearly missed a question on the second time a teacher called his name. He answered the question, hoping it would not lead to a private chat about how he 'seemed like he was improving, but suffered from lack of focus'. _If you can predict what a lecture would entail, you probably shouldn't have to listen to it._

At the end of class his 'girlfriend' found him.

"Hi, Tomoya, how was school?" she asked.

"There are good things and bad things. I think Mitsurugi might break up with Sunohara, so that's a good thing." _It is a good thing. The alternative is the truth coming out and my stupid friend getting beaten up._ It seemed Sakagami was less than enthused.

"If that's the good thing..."

"Well, Kotomi found me and asked me to walk her home. I walked her home two days ago, and she wanted me to walk her home yesterday, but she never specifically asked me, so..." He saw a change in her expression. "It's nothing like that. She doesn't think of me like that."

There was a pause.

"Well..." she started back at length. "You don't always know when a girl likes you..."

He considered it.

"She's got someone following her. I really don't think she looks at me like that, because we knew each other as small children. We're... close, but somewhere in her mind she probably still sees me as the kid who did random stupid stuff that kids normally do. I grew up, sure, but I still have to live with it. I'm pretty sure most adult relationships would fall apart if they went through each other's pasts."

"Do you really think they're all like that?"

"I don't know, but it seems like a lot of them are." He thought of the Furukawas. _Those people are honest with each other. I know they are. I don't know if it's a memory or just my general impression of them..._ He started to think of where he got his prevailing impression, if he knew his father and mother had a good relationship, if he knew the Yoshino family, if he at least had a good idea that Kotomi's parents, the Ichinoses, were fine until they died. _I guess I could have had a bad relationship at one point. It didn't seem like I was in one during either of the visions, so I'd have broken it off by then. Well, it's more likely that I did something and she broke it off._

They found Kotomi outside the school.

"Hi, Okazaki, Sakagami." She had a quizzical look about her, but it seemed the obvious question was not worth the asking, so it appeared they would just have to walk in silence for a moment. Having kept her waiting for five minutes or so, at least it gave them an excuse to awkwardly fast-walk without having to announce their mendacious reasoning. They saw no sign of the mystery gentleman, but they did see Kinoshita. Tomoya wondered if he had ever felt as weird waving to some sort of accountant while two girls walking on either side of him kept glancing at each other. _Damn, neither of them are even involved with me and they're still up to this sort of thing._

He wondered if any of his other friends would be nice and let him forget that they were teenage girls for ten seconds.

At Kotomi's house, they did not see her foster parents at the door. He thought about suggesting that she tell them about her stalker, as it were, but in all honesty the guy was saving him a headache. As long as he had a reason to be taking her home, he needed not worry about anyone thinking Sakagami was involved with him. _Well, it might just backfire entirely and people will think I'm cheating on her._

"I don't think we should keep doing this," he said quietly. "I'm hurting your chances of getting elected. I should have told you before." _I can't act like a kid and run away anymore. I have to do things the hard way sometimes._

"...but... I don't... see how you're hurting my chances. No one even knows yet."

"It should stay that way. I don't like it, but if it gets out that we're a couple... basically everyone will think that I'm taking advantage of you. It's the last thing you want for your image."

"How do you know what I want for my image?" she asked quietly. "I was the one who asked you if you could... is it because I asked you?" She reached her hands out to his elbows. "I'm trying so hard..."

"No, it's because I don't want to ruin your life. I would need to be a completely different person or move to a different town where no one has any idea who I am."

"Tomoya, I was a worse delinquent than you..." Sakagami started back. _She thinks I'm lying to her._ "I used to go around beating people up... most guys won't go anywhere near me..."

"So you figured your best bet would be a guy most girls won't go anywhere near?" he asked. "How would you be doing so well at the election if people still thought you were a delinquent? Your past was mostly a rumor in the first place; I don't think I heard from anyone that you were a street fighter once."

"I didn't tell you myself," she said. "So how did you know?" _Damn._

"Someone in Miyazawa's gang told me," he lied. "It's not like people are discussing it in the hallways." He sighed. "People have been acting surprised that I can answer simple questions about the material. I literally used to sleep through classes if I didn't skip them entirely. I know that there's probably some attractive component to my devil-may-care attitude, and a few years ago it would have been fine, but now whoever makes the mistake of going out with me will look like she doesn't care about anything either. It's the worst look possible for someone who wants to go into politics."

Nothing was said for a moment.

"Do you think less of me for..."

"It doesn't matter what I think. I only have one vote. It doesn't matter what any individual person thinks." He looked off into the distance at the setting sun. "I don't think less of you, no."

Their conversation ended there. Sakagami's house was in a different direction, so they had an excuse to part ways. He found his father awake at home, so they had dinner together.

"How was school, Tomoya?"

"I'm pretty sure I've learned more in the last two weeks than I have in the whole rest of my life."

"That's good," his father commented. He stared back as the old man took a drink of what remained of the noodle soup. _I'm just wondering what he thinks I've been doing in school this whole time. Maybe he thinks I stay late because I'm studying._ He took a drink of tea. _No, there's no one on the whole damn planet who thinks I've been studying._

"Do you know anyone named Kinoshita?" he asked on a whim. _It can't hurt._

"Kinoshita? I know him. He works right next to me. We're friends, I suppose."

"Do you know about him? Do you know what he gets up to?"

"No, I cover for him every so often. Sometimes he has to leave early, and I don't ask why. He's a nice guy, you know. Sometimes he and I go out to lunch. Years ago he was trying to get me to bring a date, but I told him I was too old for that sort of thing. I felt like I would be trying to replace your mother. I felt like you would definitely see it that way."

"I don't know about that," he whispered. _If you had a wife, you might've stopped drinking, but she might have just left you for it. There's no way to know for sure._ "Did he bring a date ever?"

"He did, in those days, I believe. He always said he could not understand what I saw in the life of a family man. I said it was hard to explain. It didn't always work out with my family, and things didn't work out the way I expected, but I don't remember what I expected the day I was married."

"Why did you marry her?" he asked quietly. Somehow he was less interested in Kinoshita all of a sudden.

"I think you know what I would tell you, Tomoya. I told you the same thing when you were a little boy." He took a deep breath. "I know things didn't always go well after that, but I think it was all worth it, because without your mother, I could never have raised you. I didn't know all that, of course. I married your mother because I loved her. I think that's a good reason."

They were mostly silent the rest of the evening as they put stuff away and went to bed. _Maybe if he didn't see me as a father normally sees his son, I should have stopped seeing him as a boy normally sees his father._ He sighed. _Maybe I was the one who started it._


	30. Being Relatable

On his way to school, Sakagami informed him that the election would take place the following day.

He could not tell if she walked to school with him because the news was that important or to spite him, to show him she would not mind being seen with him. In either case the news was important, he had just forgotten it or never knew in the first place. It was difficult to tell which was which sometimes.

"Well, I think you're ready for it. Just focus on your classes like you always do. It's really too late to make any drastic changes."

"I'm not sure about that. I feel like my opponent will probably announce some policy that sounds like it benefits the students the day of the election." _Sunohara actually would do that, but there's no way of countering it. I have to find Mitsurugi and see if the opportunity of breaking them up exists._

When he thought about it, the fact that the two of them were in a relationship was only partially his fault, and it had not been his intention. He was surprised to find the 'girl' still had it out for the rugby player who used to beat him up, when it seemed inarguable that he was not that bad of a guy when you got to know him. _Well, it's not like I ever got beaten up by the soccer club or the rugby club._

His first class did not have Mitsurugi in it, and it occurred to him that the young man was probably in the year below anyway. With something like thirty students per class, and three classes per grade, of which there were three, the high school had around two hundred seventy students, making it easy to get to know most people if you felt like it, though he had no experience with that. By contrast, he was used to ignoring people as they ignored him, so he generally had no idea who anyone was. _I probably still know more people from basketball than I know from outside of that. I don't think I knew any girls at the time, though._

He ran into Kotomi after his first class, wondering if it was going to start being a regular thing.

"I'm helping Sakagami with her campaign."

"I wasn't jealous," she said.

"Well, I didn't think you were, you just seemed weirded out by the fact that we were all walking together."

"She seemed weirded out by me."

"I didn't tell her I was walking you home until I found you waiting. I honestly thought she'd leave me to it."

"You told her why?"

"Yeah, but I don't think she gets the situation that well. She hasn't been able to determine how the stranger is dangerous." Kotomi rolled her eyes.

"I don't think anyone has ever registered as dangerous to her. If she loses seventy percent of the girls, that will probably be why."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind; we both have class."

The conversation was over.

As foretold, he was stuck in another class and somehow this one seemed less like a welcome distraction. _Damn. I'd hoped that if I could have all the problems in the world, I could at least get good grades out of it._ He looked out the window a moment, seeing nothing of interest. _It's not like I'm immune to boredom._

As he caught up on some material he had never read at the beginning of the book, he had a thought that he half-expected to see Furukawa outside. _Why am I thinking about her more and more lately? I haven't seen her in several days. I hope nothing happened to her._

When lunch eventually rolled around, he took his to the reference room and waited, not seeing Mitsurugi anywhere. _I can maybe find him on one of the fields after classes let out. I'll have to keep an eye out in any case._

"Hi, Okazaki." He did not turn around as Miyazawa came in. Either she would or she would not.

"Hi, Miyazawa," he said as she sat down across from her. She pulled a book off the shelf, seemingly at random and poured over it. "You like to read here because you're distracting yourself," he ventured.

"No." It appeared no other words would follow the denial of his guess. _I mean, I guess she really could like these books._ "This is who I am. I like being who I really am in this room, and it was nice to have a friend come in every so often."

"Did you get a lot of customers other than me?"

"Not at any one time, but that's fine. I don't think I could be a good hostess to more than one or two." Tomoya decided to drop the subject. Either she was telling the truth or he wouldn't get it out of her; either way it didn't matter. _Maybe I shouldn't talk business with her. What good will it do, anyway?_

"Have you read about any interesting spells lately?"

"I've read about one that will cure the sick." She had another book out as she was speaking.

"How effective is it?" he asked, almost reflexively.

"I haven't tried it yet. Most of the problems the guys have- well, they don't get sick very often."

"Oh, okay. Well, I know someone who's sick. Do you think you could teach it to me?"

"Sure!" Miyazawa answered, brightening almost imperceptibly. She handed him a piece of paper. "I've already written it down."

"Thanks. I think we should get back to class."

He went back, his mind going from the election to Mitsurugi to the gangs of the streets, but he could put it aside for another few hours. _That felt good. I didn't accomplish anything, but that felt good._ His mind went back to the former art teacher telling him that she was being responsible, caring for her sisters needs over what she might or might not want. It was a conversation that had been waiting to happen for a while. _Maybe if I don't see anyone else, I'll pay a visit to the newlyweds._

Almost immediately after having the idea he was filled with dread. He knew what he had seen was only a vision, of course, but it was starting to seem more real. Whether it was a previous version of himself or his inevitable fate, somehow he had ended up like that, even after he had helped Fuko. It was a vain hope that the timeline was already entirely divorced. _Am I being responsible if I'm not trying to avoid that exact outcome? Shouldn't I, with the knowledge I have for some reason, be using it for the good of the people around me?_

He knew that it was remotely good information- when he ran into Kotomi in the library he remembered her despite not having spoken to her since he was a small child, and he had basically no memory of that time period. _I didn't remember her from the past, I remembered her from the future. Things like that wouldn't change no matter what I did at this point, but some of the information is probably wrong already. Even without trying I would most likely create an entirely different timeline._

Thinking that, though, was an entirely different thing from believing it. If the version of himself that he had seen made the same decisions he did, and most likely for the same motivations, going through his life as he expected could quite possibly lead to an almost identical future. _I could move to Australia- no, my English is still terrible._ It seemed to be the one subject where he was making no progress at all, which was weird, because it was where he tried to improve first rather than just sidestepping the issue. _Why would I do that? I don't think there was any sudden flash of inspiration where I decided that finishing the assignment would be good, but it's definitely not something I would have done if I were the same person I was before._

 _I'm an adult._ He looked around. No one seemed to have noticed there was a second grown man in the room. _I doubt I was a terribly mature adult, if I could pass as a high-schooler. Well, at least now I'm a high schooler who gets his damn work done._

He found himself walking out of the building when class was over, scanning the rugby field when he reached it.

"Mitsurugi-" he called out, seeing the young man practicing. "I don't have a lot of time."

"Is this about the election?" he asked.

"No, it's another reason you should break up with-" _I could tell him that I know Sunohara has no intention of keeping any of his campaign promises._

"I'm not going to, not right before the election."

"What?"

"I know you think she's using me, but it's not about what she's doing. I'm not a guy who breaks up with girls right before elections where they're candidates."

"Why not?" he asked. "If other people think she's not worth the effort because you dump her, it'll only be a fraction of how bad she really is." He looked around. "It's like a boss not wanting to fire a somebody who vandalizes buildings because that would look bad on his cv."

"Most bosses aren't in love with their employees, Okazaki. I know you want Sakagami to win, and she probably should, but I can't do it." He jogged back over to the team on the field, leaving Tomoya to go find Kotomi. _She won't think I'm abandoning her just because I'm a few minutes late._

 _I should have expected this._ He exhaled deeply as he crossed the campus, cutting through the courtyard. _It makes sense for him to take a pragmatic approach with the election, since most students don't care- or they never cared before. I can't imagine that Sunohara winning would even be that bad, since he would get bored of it at some point and just hand her the job. He wants to win, she wants the job. I'm sure they could work something out-_ He shook his head. _No, that wouldn't be winning. If he knew Sakagami didn't care about winning the election, he wouldn't agree to it. He'd have to keep the job just to spite her._

Finding the girl after spotting the teacher who had been nodding in his direction lately, perhaps out of respect, it seemed she had not been waiting long.

"Did you just get here?" he asked on a whim.

"I had a talk with a teacher," she answered, leaving out the obvious 'because I knew you would be late'. "He said that I should really call the police if I have a stalker, or tell my parents about him." The conditional in the sentence did not escape his notice. _The school doesn't believe her._ All the same, there was a better question to ask.

"You haven't told your- foster parents?"

"No, I wouldn't want to bother them with something like this. They took me in, which was more than I could ever ask." She looked around as they walked, apparently not seeing him anywhere. "I can't ask them to walk me home every day." _You can ask me? No, that would be too impolite._ Thinking about it, she had mentioned plans to go abroad after graduating for higher education, so the issue was going to be irrelevant in a matter of weeks. _I guess she figured I wouldn't lose too much following her around every afternoon._

They walked in silence for a time until Kotomi suggested that they study together when they got home. Tomoya reluctantly agreed. He would have plenty to do the following day and he could not afford to waste any bit of it studying or even catching up on work. His father would be none too concerned if he came home late. _Well, I'm already eighteen. It's not like those days a few years ago when I was always testing his limits to see if he had any._

"What was that thing you were saying earlier about Sakagami losing the girls?" he asked, not looking up from his books. It would be better not to seem too concerned. It appeared his friend had not been expected the question.

"Did you come here to ask me that?" she asked, only glancing up herself. "I don't blame you. You've put so much work into getting her elected; of course you would want to know what I meant by that." She sighed. "I'm not the only one who can tell Sunohara is a guy. He's the same Sunohara we knew."

"Huh. I thought he'd always kind of flew under the radar." There was no need to tell her he had known the whole time.

"Most people have no idea who he is, yes, but there are whispers. His jawline is part of it, though it's the softest one I've ever seen on a guy. He's small enough, but he doesn't really have the mannerisms memorized as well as he thinks he does." She sighed. "He's trying to cover up the breadth of his shoulders with clothes, but it's not really working, and neither is the kilogram of cosmetics on his face. I suspect the only reason most people don't see it is because they're seeing what they expect to see."

"Okay... is that why they're voting for him?"

"No, they're pretty creeped out. The rest of them have fallen for his act because of how hard he's trying." _Kotomi doesn't really talk to people. She must be overhearing things in the library._

"That's why... they relate to him better than they relate to Sakagami?" She sighed again.

"No, think about what I was saying before if you'd rather figure it out than have me just tell you. Remember how you told me that she thought there was nothing dangerous about the stranger?" she asked. _Well, I was lying, so..._ He nodded. "Some of the girls believe the rumors about how she used to be a street fighter, and she's not afraid of anyone." Tomoya pursed his lips. "They're true, aren't they?"

"I mean, yeah, but I wouldn't say she's not afraid of anyone."

"She goes home by herself, sometimes late at night, and it looks like her home is far away." _Not everyone has a stalker, I guess._

"So they can't relate to her because she doesn't have any fear of strangers?" he asked. It was an odd concept to him, but girls were not something he expected to understand, and he could follow what she was spelling out for him.

" _I_ can't relate to her because she has no fear of strangers. I'm trying to think of an equivalent- what would you think of a guy who doesn't seem to think he needs a girl in his life?" Tomoya bit his tongue before calling the metaphorical guy a lucky bastard. The fact that girls seemed to deliver problems to him did not stem from the fact that they were girls. The truth was, he was discovering that he liked hanging out with girls, though he was glad to have a few male friends as well. Going out on a date with Ryou weeks ago made him feel like having a relationship down for real was not entirely outside the realm of possibilities. There were things he was starting to like about his female friends that had either not been there before, or if they had been there he had not appreciated them.

"I guess I wouldn't hate him or anything, but..." He thought of Sunohara. _There's no way he's getting a girlfriend, but it's not really because he doesn't want one. He's just ruled it out as a possibility and he's probably right._

"If you had the choice between him and a guy with a girlfriend, you'd pick him every time, right?"

"Yeah. I probably would." He thought about it silently as he tried to get some work done, but that was pointless. He could only hear his own thoughts and the girl's foster parents moving around in the background. "So we're like... bodyguards?" he asked. Kotomi rolled her eyes.

"The kinds of things that attract girls are the same kinds of things that would make you a good bodyguard. We're not consciously seeking you out in order to put you in between us and whatever goes bump in the night." _Well, except you... only you don't see me that way._

"Well, so you know, we're not consciously seeking you out to play with your boobs."

"I know that," she said, tossing her hair slightly. "It's all a matter of instinct."

At some point the old lady had come in, nearly dropping the tea tray, forcing Tomoya to catch it before it hit the ground. Somehow her expression only grew more horrified as she called out for her husband. _Dammit. Dammit. Of all the times to be caught with a girl like that, why did it have to not really be like that?_ He looked back at Kotomi, seeing she was basically resigned to the awkwardness. _Well, that'll change when she gets chewed out for... I don't know, inviting the wrong kinds of guys over._

"Uh, I think it's better if I see myself out. It's getting a bit late anyway."

"Oh, go ahead. I'll see you at school tomorrow."


	31. The Two Decisions

The following morning was a day they would not have school, so ordinarily many students would be staying home rather than going to the election, but by all appearances this was no ordinary election. He decided to make a pass by the dorm to see if he could get Mitsurugi to break up with Sunohara at the last minute, but he only saw Sagara, who told him they were both out. _I probably shouldn't bother him with it anyway. He seemed pretty sure about his decision yesterday._

Walking to the school, he had a decent amount of hope still that the vote was going to be an absolute landslide, but he could not help but think that he might have hurt Sakagami's chances by not walking her home from school every day. _No, it would have been too late for that to have any effect. She wouldn't look like she had a fear of strangers because she just started asking me to walk her home in the past few days. Besides, I had a prior commitment._

When he arrived he saw Kyou at the gates, and it appeared there was some last minute manipulation at work. She admitted to having thrown a book at a guy who showed up early said he voted for Sunohara, but no one saw her do it. _It's not like anyone needs to see you to know that you did it._

"Great. Now she'll be known for using violence to get people to vote for her."

"I've just been telling people what happened, not threatening anyone," Kyou justified. "I heard from Ryou that you're looking for work."

"I am, in a general sense."

"Well, I guess you could work at my dad's company if you had a degree."

"That's not going to happen. I wouldn't be accepted by any schools in this prefecture." _It was a nice gesture, though. I didn't think she was capable of doing anything nice without ruining it somehow. Is she just trying to keep people from realizing she's nice?_ He noticed that a teacher, Koumura had shown up to count the votes. _No, she never does anything nice for other people._

"Well, you would have to qualify for a job there, anyway. You would also have to show up every day. My dad runs a ship-shape operation, you know." _I guess that explains how their mother had time to train the sisters to be domestic queens, but maybe she divided her time between them._

"Has Ryou's cooking gotten any better?" he asked.

"It has, definitely. She credits you with giving her the confidence, but I was the one who reminded her not to burn the rice." Tomoya nodded. Not having confidence and letting her tasks overwhelm her was the kind of thing that she would do, but there was something weird about the way her sister always seemed to remind him that she had confidence in abundance.

"Well, I might as well cast my vote, unless there are last minute speeches to make."

"I think most people are tired of it already. They just want it to be over."

It seemed Kyou had the right of it. There were massive lines outside the classroom where the ballot boxes were stored; they went around the corner and all the way to one of the stairwells. He had never seen anything like it.

"Why can't they just write a name down and put it in one box?" he asked. "Then you wouldn't have to go into a room one at a time."

"Well, I heard it was a way of filtering out the write-in candidates. We really have never had a turnout like this." _That's right. Someone said she was class rep of her own class last year._ He could see how a bit of a wait would not have been a problem if only fifty or so showed up to vote.

"We might as well find something to do until the line clears, then. It's not like they'll close down if there are still people waiting." They wrote their names down on the registration list and went outside, finding a seat in the courtyard. Tomoya stared up at the clouds.

"You look like you have something on your mind."

"I probably do; I just don't want to know what it is." He sighed. "To be honest, I should be totally relaxed. I don't get to just hang out with you that often, it's not a school day, and I've actually done all my work. Well, most of it."

"Do you... want to go somewhere, then?" Kyou asked. "I know of a few interesting places downtown." He raised an eyebrow. "It'll be at least an hour before there are only a few people left in the line."

He reluctantly agreed and followed her as she nearly skipped to the shopping center. It was odd for her to be that excited, though he knew she was into all the things girls normally bought, and she probably grew up with a substantial budget. He doubted she was wholly spoiled, since she did not act that way and seemed perfectly capable of appreciating the little things, but whoever ended up marrying her would probably do well to be able to finance her hobby. _I almost want to ask her if she's looked at a price tag before._

"This is a jewelry store, but I don't buy myself jewelry."

"Oh. I guess you wouldn't need to if you have a ton of secret admirers." She glared at him. "I'm not saying you do have a ton of secret admirers."

"Okazaki, that just makes it worse."

"I know."

"Well, that's one thing you know. It's a wonder how you'll pass your exams with just that." _How did she know that would hurt? Right, Ryou must have told her I've been laying a finger on my books lately._ He tried to think of more material, but the moment was past.

"Do you want to get lunch somewhere? I was thinking of something quick."

"That would be- that works, thanks." Something in the way that she contained her reaction made him take notice. They went to a cheap ramen place and their food arrived as quickly as it could be expected to arrive. Tomoya paid for both without thinking about it, since he had suggested where they were going. _If she'd dragged me to some fancy restaurant it would have been a different story._ They ate quickly, though for some reason Kyou did not meet his eyes when she thanked him. _She could just be hungry, I guess._ There was something else he could to to see what it was.

"Do you like me?" he asked as they finished. If she still had soup left she might have spat it at him; her eyes had nearly popped.

"Why... would you think that?" she asked, looking around. _Good question._

"I just noticed a couple things here and there. At some point or another it started to seem like you liked me. I dismissed it at first, since we're usually pretty mean to each other, but I thought about it, and the reason I tease you is because it's easier to just keep doing something I've always done. I decided there was some chance you didn't actually hate me, but you just thought I would never like you."

Nothing was said for a moment. The girl across from him seemed to be unable to decide on what to say. _Did I bring this up too quickly? Maybe she had planned to tell me herself or something._

"Well, we have to get back," Kyou decided. He smiled. _If she hated me she would have told me instantly. I guess she wouldn't have told me if she were unsure._ As they walked, he was starting to wonder if he really should have even asked. He was not sure he liked her as much, because she was cute and she could cook, but she hardly acted cute and there was the practical issue of his prospects. It was starting to seem preferable to keep things the way they had it, where nothing was out in the open, but that was impossible now. _No wonder she seems really awkward._

They arrived back at the school and the line was somewhat shorter, but not yet exhausted. _We've only been gone a little while, and more people probably showed up while we were out._ He looked over at the girl next to him as they waited. She looked away, but then looked back with a confused expression. _Of course it's going to be weird, just dragging her emotions out so that I can see them- but I can't see how leaving things as they were would have been better. If she really liked me, would she really just want nothing to ever come of that?_

It was a difficult question to answer. He knew that ordinarily, if a girl had feelings for a guy, he did not find out until after confessing his own, so in a sense he had put Kyou in an unusual position to say the least. She had not denied it so far, meaning she was willing to put up with it for the time being. _She must like me. I'm being a jerk by not telling her anything._

"Hey, uh... I think we need to start talking to each other a bit more," he suggested as they waited. "I know neither of us have a lot of time, but..."

"We should. I... suppose I haven't told you a lot about myself," she conceded. "That would be why you haven't fallen head over heels for me just yet."

"Yeah, of course, since I wasn't led astray at all by your attempts to get me to go out with your sister." He raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you tell me she was the best thing that was going to come my way-" Kyou hit him on the arm. "No, really, are you a better girlfriend than your sister?" he asked, still joking.

"I'm a better cook, as you know. I'm also substantially more interesting." Tomoya looked around, but shook his head. If people were eavesdropping instead of paying attention to their own conversations, he could not care less.

"Oh, by interesting you mean annoying? I remember appreciating going on a date with Ryou and not having a book thrown at me or getting hit by a scooter-" _What scooter? Is that a- well, where would I have seen a scooter before?_

"Don't talk about that-" she started, raising a hand to his mouth. "How did you even- never mind, I don't want to hear it right now."

Her words basically confirmed that he had not seen any such transportation of hers, or if he had seen it, he had no way of connecting it to her at the time. _I've got to be careful about what I reveal. This isn't the first time I've made someone suspicious of me._ In truth, he did not know what would happen if he told someone he had come from the future, but it seemed more likely than anything else that he would be going to an asylum. It was too late to start pretending to be interested in divination, and it would look even more suspicious if he were more successful at it than someone who had been practicing for years. _I guess in the grand scheme of things, this should really be the least of my worries, but it would also hurt her feelings._

Ryou was a sensitive soul, and she seemed less confident about most things than her sister; Kyou was even more sure about her ability to predict the future than she was. Her lack of confidence seemed to interact with other areas of her life and he was legitimately glad he had managed to help her, if only a little. What he had not expected was that there was one area in which she would be more sure of herself than her sister, and that was expressing her feelings _Children and teenagers sometimes act mean to each other because it's safer than expressing their feelings. Meanness doesn't mean attraction is there, of course, it could really just be meanness, but I wish I'd seen through Kyou's act earlier._

As much as the idea made him uneasy with all the other things he knew he had to do, he was going to have to go through with his idea about getting to know the girl standing next to him. In the best of cases, he really would like her and things would work and then- what? They get married? _I can't afford that. I can't afford to give her the kind of life she wants._ He started to reevaluate what the best case would look like, but there was someone talking to him.

"Oh, hi, Okazaki. I didn't see you there." It was Nishina.

"Hi, Nishina. Glad to see you're voting." He had a relatively high opinion of the girls in the choral club, having had some limited interaction with them.

"I asked Koumura if he would let me cast Nagisa's vote for her, but he said that there was no option to vote while absent. Oh well, I'm sure Sunohara will win all the same."

"Why did you vote for-" he started, containing himself before seeing Kyou glaring at the other girl.

"I'll tell you later," she responded, implying she would not tell Fujibayashi. "Have a nice day." She left.

"Are you two personal enemies or something?" _I hadn't considered that. There's no way Sunohara would have personal enemies; it's a fake persona. Come to think of it, I've had Kotomi helping me as well. Is there anyone with something against her?_

"I prefer to think of it as rubbing each other the wrong way," the girl with him explained. They were getting close to the front of the line. _She doesn't have Sugisaka's acid tongue, but she's perfectly willing to stand up for herself._ Tomoya started to wonder what would happen if Kyou attempted to heave a book at Nishina. In either case, they were voting and he did not spend a single second thinking about his vote before casting it. He wanted to ask when the results would be announced, but the Ancient Literature teacher had probably said it a thousand times and doing so was holding up the line. He met his friend outside.

"I think I should go visit Furukawa. I haven't seen her in days, and while I have some time off..."

"Oh," Kyou said, turning away slightly. "Oh, okay, well, tell her I wish her well." _You've never wished anyone well._

"Sure," he responded. _Am I contradicting myself?_

He found himself walking to the bakery, not seeing anything terribly unusual on the way there except a ladder leaning up against a light pole. He found the door unlocked when he got there, because the business was open, but he felt weird just going in, considering he was there to see their daughter. He noticed several of the bread selections were priced substantially below what the school's cafeteria charged, but some of those might have been made by Sanae.

"Hi, Sanae," he said, wondering about how he had gotten accustomed to them so easily. They had introduced themselves using their given names, so he had some excuse to use them, but every time he walked in it was like going home. "How is Nagisa doing?" he asked, feeling even weirder saying her name somehow, even though they were the same age. _Well, I can't just use Furukawa when I'm in their house._

"She is out of the worst of it, we believe." He inferred that she was still sick, but her symptoms were going down. During that phase it was the conventional wisdom to allow the patient to rest to keep symptoms from flaring up again. It was easier than it seemed intuitively to lose all the progress that had been made.

"She's not coming back before the year is over, though," Tomoya guessed. "There's no way she's ready to take the final." When he looked at everything successful students did to prepare themselves, from going to class to forming study groups, it was virtually impossible to make the case that she was ready without having done any of it. "She must have been bored this whole time." The girl's mother nodded.

"We try to keep her entertained without putting too much strain on her. We told her about how we used to be in theater before we were married."

"Oh, is that why she wanted to restart the drama club?" he asked. It seemed like too much of a coincidence. _What exactly am I remembering?_

"She may have been influenced by some of her earlier memories. The truth is, we rarely talked about our past around her." There was a long explanation to be had, but he had no idea what it was. His vague notions from the future were never that specific.

"How is she now?"

"She's awake. You can go see her if you like. She rarely gets visitors, but even if they came every day she would be grateful." _Nishina did imply that she had been over here._

"Well, if too many people visited, then she would probably be under too much strain," he said, mostly pointlessly, as they walked over to the room and Sanae announced that she had a visitor.

"One moment..." came a small voice from inside the room. _She does sound like she's getting a bit better._ The mother knocked again, as if to ask if she were ready. "I'm naked..."


	32. Through the Door

Tomoya liked to think he was an adult who knew better than to jump right into a reaction at a time like this, but he found himself jumping away from the door as though it had shocked him. Sanae seemed to find it amusing, though refraining from laughing out loud was not a challenge for her impeccable manners. _Well, that and it's her daughter._ The thinking part of his brain catching up, he reasoned that it was not too embarrassing for her to say that if Nishina were on the other side of the door. There was nothing for it but to wait for the door to open. At some point he was standing there alone. _Akio is probably not in today, but I guess if he makes the bread every morning he doesn't have to be the one standing around to sell it._ He knew sometimes the man challenged random people to pitching contests in the park, but he did not think he saw that happening on his way over.

At length the door opened and Furukawa stared at him for a moment before going red. She closed her eyes and swallowed audibly.

"Hi, I just wanted to see how you were doing," he said, trying to salvage things. It seemed like it would only make things worse if he said that he did not, indeed, picture her naked as soon as she said she was. "I heard you were getting better."

"I am," she said quietly after opening her eyes. "How are you doing?" She sat down on the futon, still needing rest.

"It's okay," he lied. Her eyes seemed to catch it. _Damn, she's perceptive._ "Well, not everything's okay, but I'm doing the best I can with it."

"That sounds more like you," she whispered. _I must have made some sort of impression on her when I was helping Fuko._ "Did you know my parents always wanted to do theater, but then they couldn't, because they had me?" she asked, chuckling slightly. "I felt like I always knew there was something wrong... something that I did that was terrible, but I could never remember it."

"I know the feeling," he said without thinking about it. She looked over at him without the shock he expected.

"You look like it. You look like you're carrying something around with you." _Did she reveal that about herself just to get me to talk to her?_ "I want to know what it is."

"Well, a long time ago, I used to play basketball," he started, thinking of a serviceable substitute to the answer the question deserved. He told her about how his father had gotten violent with him in an argument, and because of an injury, he could never play again."

"What about your dad?" she asked at length. "Are you two still fighting?" She raised the idea as though it were the worst thing in the world.

"No, not really. I basically just left him alone and he left me alone." As he was about to explain that they talked sometimes, tears formed in the girl's eyes. He went down to her level almost instinctively.

"That's just... I couldn't imagine being alone like that..."

"Well, sometimes being alone is better than the alternative. Sometimes it's that or someone who doesn't care about you," he said quietly. He almost wanted to hold her, but he would feel out of place doing that.

"I think you should talk to him. It doesn't matter what he says to you..." She seemed to be thinking. "I know it might be hard, but-"

"How would you know that? I bet everyone cares about you." He sighed. "If I went home and talked to him today, we could probably have a productive conversation. I think since I'm graduating and moving out, I've gotten over the way he used to ignore me. There's no real need to avoid him anymore."

"You used to avoid him?" Furukawa asked. "Is that why you seemed to have a weird sense of time?"

"What?"

"You used to come to school late every day. I didn't know who you were, but I saw you. Sometimes I would see you from the store, walking through the park in total darkness. I could never figure out what you were doing out so late, but I knew it was going to keep you from waking up the following morning. Is that why you were late?"

"Yeah," he said at length. There was no use in not admitting to it; he had already said he used to avoid his father. At the same time, it was a confession that his whole delinquent persona was the result of a scheduling conflict. Going to school late made all the difference because it made the teachers and most of the school lose respect for him and assume he was human garbage, and it was easier to live into the characterization than go against it. He kept to himself because other people did not want to be around him, and other people thought he was aloof or some kind of jackass because he kept to himself.

"Nishina says you don't come late anymore. She says you do your work in class." _She isn't in my class. She must have heard it from someone else._

"It's true. Being in class is easier than anything else I could be doing, so it's kind of a break from all that, actually." He did not want to actively lie to her about how bad things were, but he was not going to directly tell her while there was nothing she could do about it. "Oh, we had the election, so that's out of our hands." _That also means that Sakagami is going to have more time to join us for the fight._ Tomoya was still not dead certain he had gotten out of hitting Miyazawa in the face.

"Thank you for telling me." _Oh, right, she's probably a bit sore about not being able to vote herself._ "I'm sorry, but I need to rest. Please come back some other time, though. I really enjoyed having you here."

Tomoya smiled and nodded as he got up and walked out. She probably said that any time someone came over. He knew she loved her parents and had no reason to want to be away from them, but seeing friends would probably be nice every so often. _She's got a few friends at school. I think she attached herself to Ryou the day I met her._ He remembered not wanting to associate with her that day, and he remembered deciding he would leave her alone following the Fuko issue, but somehow she hardly seemed dangerous to anyone except herself.

He said goodbye to Sanae and left the bakery.

It was not clear to him what disease the girl had or even what its effects were, but it sounded terrible. Fortunately for her, all she apparently had to do was lie down and wait for it to pass. He head never seen anything like it, and could not say whether it would recur or how long she would have to deal with it, but he could be grateful it was ending. _Though that will mean that I am going to start interacting with her more._

At some point he was going to have to decide whether he wanted a girlfriend or not, and sometime after that he was going to have to decide if he wanted her to be Kyou, since all he had to do was be interested in her, apparently. He could not fathom why she liked him, but it was irrefutable, and she had not denied it, meaning she would rather be in the awkward position than have him think she did not like him. _No, she could still just say she was generally interested, but not infatuated. Why did she feel the need to confirm my theories as they were?_

He went to go see Sunohara. There were still hours in the day and he would rather still be friends with the guy when the results of the election came out. He made his way to the dorm and intentionally avoided seeing Sagara, though he could not tell whether or not she was in the dorm. She had mentioned having work to do at the school sometimes.

"Hi, Sunohara," he said as he let himself into the room. "How do you like your odds?"

"There were a lot of people who said they came out to vote for me. You're looking at the school's next president, Okazaki!"

"The election is for next year. Even if you win, you'll never be president."

"I could get held back a year, I guess. That would probably get me better grades."

"You'd need to put effort into it to get better grades, and even if you did, the schools would know it was only because you were held back. They would probably disqualify you for the previous two years without even looking at this year." It seemed his friend was starting to get it. "I don't think winning an election under a false identity would help either. You should probably break up with Mitsurugi now that the votes are in, since he's going to beat the shit out of you if he finds out you've been a guy the whole time."

"You're probably right about that, but won't he find out anyway? Mei stops going to school, and I take her place? I mean, most people wouldn't care, but he would figure it out." Sunohara had a point, but Tomoya had only brought up the threat of being beaten as a means to an end; he was not terribly concerned if his plan did not save the blonde boy from an unfixable scenario. _Come to think of it, he might not be beaten at all, since if he isn't a girl he still enjoys having meaty man-hands pound him all over._

"Whatever, I'll tell him myself. I wasn't going to tell him because he would rearrange your face and you would lose the election because of secrets you trusted me to keep, but that's all over now. There's basically no chance the teachers will allow a recount, unless it looks like you're winning."

"Do the teachers love Sakagami as much as you do?!" his friend asked, frustrated. _That's right. A few weeks ago, I told him I was interested in her to get him off my back about Furukawa._

"They just want a serious student to be president of the student council. They probably know the reason students don't care about it, which is a lot of the reason some of them voted for you. Oh, and your sister's probably going to come visit you at some point. Sagara has been holding the phone for you a few times," he lied. _Do I remember anything like that? It doesn't seem like the kind of thing I would remember._

"I'll ask her if she left a message, then," Sunohara said, resigning himself somewhat. It seemed likely that he realized the days of his persona were over.

"Did you like pretending to be a girl?" Tomoya asked, keeping the vexation out of his voice.

"I don't know, I got really into character early on, so I guess that was where it was most interesting, but after that I got bored. It was basically the same except I had to do more work on my appearance if I wanted to get elected. I might have put more work into that than I ever put into anything."

"Did you ever want to be an actor?" he asked on a whim.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea- I could totally put this on my resume. Did you know I'm quite the thespian? On a good day, I can recite all of Shakespeare's plays." _He's doing that thing where he's trying to self-aggrandize when no one can contradict him._

Seeing it was getting late, he left, thinking about the fight with Miyazawa's gang. It seemed pretty clear that was the next thing he had to do, the next problem he had to solve. The last time he was in the reference room he mostly indulged the girl, treating her like the curator of odd books that she wanted to be rather than the gang leader she was. He was starting to think it had been a memory that had given him his first inkling that the girl's brother would not come back to the gang, and he only assumed he figured it out.

Finding his father coming home just as he was, he waved politely, but decided to take dinner in his room, since he had already gotten something and he had to study. The old man responded with the same gentle smile as always. _Is it that he's proud of me? Is that what that expression is?_

Going up to his room and closing the door, he nearly jumped when he saw Kotomi.

"It's not what it looks like," she whispered. He wondered if that was the line she had been practicing so that he would not freak out as soon as he saw her. He was not freaking out, fortunately, though he felt like he might have a few years ago. "I'm here because I saw the stranger at my house."

"He knows where you live, then."

"Yes. I don't know how he found out, but... I couldn't run to the school when I saw him waiting outside. He was around fifty meters away from the door, so my foster parents probably would not make the connection that he was waiting for me. I... didn't know where else to go."

"How did you get in? The place is usually locked."

"Did you exit through your window recently?" she asked. He nodded. "You didn't lock it back. You mentioned something a while back about how you and your father did not have the best of relationships."

"Huh. That's pretty smart; I don't think I would have made that connection." _I guess it's possible she made it after the fact. She could have tried every door and window until one opened._ "Well, you're welcome to stay the night. I don't know what we're going to do about that guy except tell your foster parents."

"You were right. I really should have done that a long time ago." She sighed. "Remember how they caught us in that awkward conversation?" he nodded without feeling like he had to add it was the previous day. "Well, I realized that they really care about me. It's not just an obligation. I thought for years that they were doing what they thought they should do and nothing more, because there was always a way to explain it like that."

Tomoya did not feel like telling her he had predicted this development. What he had not predicted was that the strange gentleman would be outside her home, though perhaps he knew there was no class that day, and no reason to go to the school, except for voting. He guessed she could have been out at the school voting, though he had not seen her there.

They ate quietly. As far as either of them knew, his father had no idea there was a girl there, and it seemed better to keep it that way. He would almost certainly not care, but they decided against risking his bringing it up to even one person. They talked about various things like normal friends until it was time to go to bed. A growing suspicion told him he was not going to be sleeping on the bed, but at least he could get into the shower before Kotomi thought through the logistics of it. He brought a shirt and a pair of shorts to the washroom and removed his school uniform before hearing a soft knock on the door. _Damn. She's good._

"If your father hears the water turn on twice, he'll get suspicious," came the whisper.

"I know. Just take a shower right after he leaves tomorrow." He got into the water without any further reason to hesitate. Somehow things were less awkward than they had been with Furukawa only just recently. The fact that the girl was on the other side of the door did not bother him, and he doubted he would sit on pins and needles listening for her to turn the water on the following morning. _It's not that I don't see her as a girl, it's just that I don't see her... like that. I don't think either of us want that kind of relationship._ Another thought came to him.

_How is it that I see Furukawa, then?_

Tomoya got out of the water and dried off, digging through the cabinet to see if there was anything Kotomi could use, but it seemed unlikely. He and his father had shared the washroom for the past several years without ever inviting anyone over. _Ah, well, she had to have accepted that we weren't going to be ready to have her over. I don't know what we're going to do about the stranger, but if I walk her home tomorrow, we can talk to her foster parents and that'll get us somewhere._

Going back to the room, his friend was gracious enough a guest to ask if she could be on the bed, and he nodded unenthusiastically before going downstairs to lie on the cushions next to the table. He would not get a lot of sleep, and his father would have questions, but he would most likely not ask them. It was one of the good things about being a free-range teenager.


	33. The Rumble

Kotomi needed no help the following morning; she was mostly gone by the time he woke up.

Tomoya had expected her to not want to impose, but they were close enough to where she could ask a favor of this nature without thinking about it. Walking to school, they were a bit later than they usually needed to be, but they were in no hurry, for her because the teachers would assume she had a legitimate reason and for him because they mostly did not care. Every school was going to have a few delinquents and their reputation would not suffer so much that it was worth the effort to prevent.

He noticed that his friend's uniform did not seem wrinkled, which could describe the condition of his own whenever he slept in it. _Damn it, Kotomi, stop making me think lewd thoughts. I really didn't want Kyou to be right about me._

Thinking of her, that was another stressor in his life. He did not want Ryou to think that he liked her sister better, but comparison between themselves was just too easy not to take place. He could not say which one he did like better, meaning he probably had no business going out with Kyou except for the fact that she revealed her feelings to him. Fortunately they had settled on going on dates without any particular assumptions, or as close as they could get it to that, and they would just have to see if things worked out.

She found him right after his first class, and asked him if he wanted lunch with her that day, which he could manage. At some point he would have to ask Miyazawa when the fight was, because they had Sakagami's word she would be participating, but that could wait a moment. It seemed unlikely that it would be the day after the election, since Sasaki's gang had to hear about it. _Okay, so I can walk Kotomi home today, and hopefully that whole thing will be resolved by the time I have to fight in the rumble._ He was still hoping that it would be a shutout due to their ace in the hole, but nothing was ever that easy.

Classes went well enough, but there was so much swirling around in his head he did not notice Sunohara showing up, dressed normally.

"Hi, Okazaki," he started, taking his usual seat.

"Oh, hi. Dropping the disguise, aren't we?"

"I just wanted to win, not be president. If I actually win I'll just quit and nominate Sakagami as my replacement." _That's right, he hasn't heard the results yet. Well, he showed up late, so may she already knows. If the votes were going into two different boxes, it should be easy to count them by massing them, unless it's really close._

"Well, that'll devastate her. She'll take the job, but she'll be destroyed if she only got it because you handed it to her," he lied, remembering something he had decided earlier. "She won't see herself as a woman for the rest of her life."

Satisfied that he had Sunohara convinced to give up the job as soon as it was announced, he saw the other candidate after his next class.

"Did you win?" he asked.

"They're having a recount. The initial tally had me winning by one vote."

"What was wrong with that? Why would they recount it?"

"Someone complained. I don't know who."

"How do you know someone complained?"

"Koumura-sensei said someone called in and said that with one vote, they could have made a mistake."

"Well, I guess tell me when you hear the results... but either way I'll need your help with Miyazawa's gang. Can you ask her when it's supposed to happen? I'm... spoken for at lunch." Sakagami smiled, his eyes widening slightly.

"You have more on your plate than you ever wanted," she observed before leaving. _I don't need you to tell me that._

At some point class was over and he went out for lunch. His stress had reached the point where he no longer could pay attention in class as an escape from everything else, but he took notes in hope he could make sense of it later; failing that he could copy off Kotomi. _Let's hope she's still talking to me after all the awkwardness between us._

Out in the courtyard, Kyou was by herself on the picnic blanket she and her sister used last time. It occurred to him that he might have guessed the reason that she had joined Ryou and him was because she was interested herself, but he suppose he could not be faulted. She gave him no hints that were clear enough to warrant comment, anyway.

"How are you doing?" she asked as he sat down with her. She had opened the stacked bento already, but had not started eating.

"I'm pretty stressed, to be honest," he said. _Maybe I should be as honest as I can with her. She's trying to put her best foot forward because she wants me to decide that I like her._ "It seems like all my friends have problems right now, but at least the election's over." The food was good as always. Perhaps he was starved for home-cooked meals, but there was still the requisite skill in making them.

"Well, I don't have any problems. Do you want to hang out some after school?" she asked. It was the nicest thing she had- "I guess if you're not being held back by a teacher because he's lecturing you about passing your exams."

"Hah. Well, I have a prior commitment, so that's out. Now I'm just wondering if you'll copy your sister's personality and be nice about it, or if you'll just act like you normally do." His goading seemed to land on her, the hope being that she would not ask what his other thing was. He knew what it was, but he also knew how it looked. It was better to just ignore the matter entirely, especially when he had questions to ask. He wanted to make an honest attempt to see if he liked Kyou, and he hoped it would not be colored by past experiences. _Or, in my case, future experiences._ "So what do you want to do when you get out of here?" he asked.

"I want to be a teacher," she said almost immediately. "I want to focus on early childhood education, though, so that's it's own skill set. If I'm qualified to teach children, then I'm sure some grade level, in some school, in some town, will have the right opening for me,"

"Huh," he responded, feeling like he had to say something. In truth it seemed a bit more feminine than what he had envisioned, though he could not have said what that was. Perhaps he had thought she was going to say 'marketing' or 'event planning', but he knew he did not expect 'construction'. The way it seemed was that Ryou behaved in a more girly way, even if she was less skilled at certain... _Damn it, I'm comparing them again._ "I still don't know what I'm going to do," he admitted.

"That's okay," she said, her voice jumping slightly. "I have some idea of how much you have had to do recently. Have you ever thought about teaching?"

"No, I don't think I want to be in a classroom ever again after this. I mean, just sitting there learning is easy; it's much easier than any kind of job, but it's completely different to be a teacher and I wouldn't want to deal with delinquents. I don't think anyone would take me seriously if I applied."

"You don't have to apply here- but it's fine if you don't want to do the job anyway." _Did she want me to go to school with her?_

"I guess I'm being a bit negative today. Your food is really good," Tomoya said.

"Of course it is. It's always getting better."

"I think we should probably go back," he decided after they finished. "It's been great; everything's been great, we just have class, so-"

"Yeah, definitely."

They parted. He wondered why he had felt obligated to tell her it had been a good date in order to get out of there, but he guessed the dynamic was a little different than it would be normally. Ordinarily, the girl already knew the guy at least liked her a little, because attraction could be presumed, so he'd be on his best behavior at every date. Whether the girl realized he was trying to get her to like him or thought he was just behaving normally, it was good behavior that bore rewarding, so even if the relationship did not work out, she would express gratitude. _Well, I guess it could be simple politeness as well._

In class, he started to doubt he could even keep pace with the teachers had he not had help from Kotomi. While studying with him she had explained much of what was discussed in the earlier part of the year, which happened to be the time he was mostly not paying attention. Somehow she either explained it better or more to the way he understood it, and he was able to demonstrate this in class, to the continued surprise of a handful of his teachers, who expected the cumulative review to be the death of him. He was getting the better of some of the students who were considered 'middle of the pack' in terms of his ability to answer questions. _I'll have to do something nice for her- well, nicer than normal. That's just what I do because we're friends and we always have been._ He stared out the window for a moment. _Well, maybe that's what she was thinking when she offered to study with me. I just hope I haven't been dragging her down or anything._

As he worked, he could not help but be reminded of Sakagami, who had wanted him to follow her around for an entirely different reason. _At least I'm out of the woods on that. We'll probably never be seen together again, since that's pretty much the only way she'll have a career after this._ It was not as if politicians in Tokyo or wherever she intended to go knew he existed and knew how bad his history was, but there was no point in maintaining a relationship if they were going to be separate, and if they were together, they would be seen together, and people would start asking questions about him. It was trouble best avoided.

When school let out, Miyazawa and their star fighter found him by the door.

"So we know when the fight's going to be?" he asked.

"It's tonight," the gang leader said.

"Uhh... I don't know what to tell you, but tonight I-"

"You made other plans?" she asked. "Didn't Yu or Sudou tell you- never mind, I told them they're not supposed to be on campus, and they probably didn't see you." Miyazawa sighed. "Well, you're going to have to cancel. I don't like our chances as they are, and this is not going to get rescheduled."

"When does the fight start?" he asked. "If it's after sunset, I'll have plenty of time to get there- it's in the park, right?"

"No, the park is too well-lit at night. It's going to be in an alley in the downtown area, on the other side of town from the police station. It'll start at seven, but we need to get there early because we need to eat and-"

"I get it, I get it- I just need five minutes to cancel my plans-"

He did not wait for their responses. _I have to find Kotomi- I have to at least tell her that I can't do it this evening._ He knew she could hardly just ask someone else, though a mad thought told him that he could ask Kyou to let her borrow the scooter thing she took to school sometimes. _No, I don't even know if she took it today. She really only rides it to school if she's running late, because students aren't supposed to have them._

Turning a corner sharply, he had an idea of asking Mitsurugi, since his obligation was at an end. It was not a good plan, but it was the one with the best chance of working, since failing all else he could tell the rugby player that his 'girlfriend' had been a dude the whole time. He wondered if the young man would fixate on Kotomi right after breaking up, but there was no way to know for sure. He hoped she would at least tolerate the arrangement for a day, and he had some reason to think she would, since he was a decent guy and she had already resorted to going to his home to evade the stranger.

 _If I run into her, I'll have to ask her to find him or something-_ He was coming up on a corner and he could not see around it, but the chances of running into someone else were infinitesimal. _I'll have to-_

He ran into Sunohara.

"Damn it- Okazaki where the hell are you going in such a hurry?"

"I have to get someone to walk Kotomi home-"

"Ichinose? The girl who's always in the library or talking to you? Can you believe her nerve; she once came up to me and said 'I know you're not a girl.' I mean, she was right, but talk about rude!"

"Well, I doubt she'll tell anyone you dressed up as a girl for weeks if you walked her home. Just tell her there's a rumble and I can't get out of it, she'll understand. She's probably waiting by the gate, or she will be pretty soon."

He ran off before his friend could object to the idea. _He has to know I've got a lot hanging over him if he doesn't do it._ Cursing the strange gentleman for creating these problems in the first place, he found Sakagami and Miyazawa right as they were about to leave. Somewhere one of them was saying it was a far walk, and it was already after five, but he was not really listening. _If that stranger's intentions are honest, and he still might be, then he's no more guilty than Kotomi's parents are for dying. He's probably just some guy who doesn't know anything about how to approach a minor about something._

The walk was long as promised. Not only was it distant, they had to cross several streets and he doubted one word was spoken the whole way there. He had to agree with the gang leader's idea of getting everyone fed before the fight started, because it was impossible to win this sort of thing on an empty stomach, but the battle could not start right after they ate either; they would need to do jumping jacks or something. It could be assumed that she had asked one of the members to get food for everyone. She had already said that the gang collected protection money from local businesses, assuring him that it was a real service they provided and not just a promise not to attack them.

"Hi, Okazaki," one of the gang members said, recognizing him and tossing him a burger. It occurred to him that Kotomi would have killed to see some low-lifes hanging around eating burgers, since it would be just like her favorite book, but the goal was not to get her killed in the process. He still hoped Miyazawa had only been trying to scare him off the idea when she told him how dangerous it would be, but his increasing sense of foreboding told him her assessment of gang fights was not far off. All he could read from the faces of the young men around him was deep concern. Taking a look around the area, there was a warehouse with some shipping crates in it. From the looks of it, factory workers had opened one of the long crates and cleared it out so they could get from one end of the warehouse to the other. The gang leader stared at the crates and whispered something to two of the younger boys, Yu and someone who might have been from Indonesia.

"Well, I guess he's 'the foreigner'. I can only imagine what they're doing," he muttered. He finished eating.

"Remember how I said I was going to take off running?" Miyazawa asked. "I'm going through the container. Whoever follows me, just shut the doors behind them. They can't rejoin the fight right as they realize that I'm fast on my feet." _She's getting into that leader mode again. It's like she's an entirely different person._ He found it difficult to fault her.

"I'll do it. Just-"

"Thanks."

The conversation was over.

It appeared the young men around him were resting rather than jogging in place or doing anything ridiculous like that. Some of them were moving around more than others, but it was easy to see that they were nervous. There were about thirteen of them, and if the Sasaki gang had four more, things were going to get bloody. _They won't recognize me or Sakagami- that's why we're tasked with shutting the doors._ Another possible explanation was that it was an important job, and Miyazawa had to know she could trust them to keep it secret. _It's a concerning thought that we might have a mole among us, but they should already know-_

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the sound of a motorcycle screeching to a halt.


	34. The Rumble Part 2

It was the rival gang leader riding the motorcycle. _It's just an intimidation tactic. We can't let him scare us before we even fight._ The sides were lined up without much preamble. It seemed like a standard ritual to intimidate the opponent, but it also served to allow the leaders to talk for a moment. Miyazawa explained what territory she wanted if she won, and what territory she was willing to give up if she lost. One of the young men in the Sasaki gang snorted.

"Far be it from me to have any lack of confidence in my people, but you should know to offer equal terms." _Does he know in his head exactly how much territory is at stake?_

"No, those terms are fair," the leader clarified, accepting the arrangement. "We brought more people, so we have a better chance of winning. The prize we stand to gain should be smaller than what we wager." _Huh. I guess if I wanted to be cynical about it, I could say he sees it all as free land anyway, since the result has already been decided._ Even just looking at the other gang, he could tell they had more than four on them; it was more like ten. _I should have known he'd take the opportunity to swell his ranks- he probably suspected we'd be doing that._

Next to him, Sakagami was looking less than perfectly confident. It was not the expression he wanted to see. _Well, now we really have to stick to the plan. Anything we can do to even the odds is going to be absolutely necessary if we're going to have a chance._ He glanced up and down the alley as someone started the countdown. _It looks like they don't have any backup- and there are no cops around._

"Okazaki!" Miyazawa shouted right as she started running. He tore after her, back into the warehouse as they were followed by at least seven guys from the other gang. _Shit. Shit. Shit-_ She ran through the shipping container as expected, and he jumped to the side, waiting for them to go through.

"Nice try!" one of them announced. "We had a mole in your operation. We know that you planned on shutting that door behind us," he said, pointing at the shipping container door. Perhaps in an effort to make it easier on him, someone had left one of the doors closed.

"I think it's time we show this newcomer what we do to people who try to fuck with us," someone else said, getting out a knife. He ran towards the container himself, slamming the door shut behind him, though he was unable to lock it from the inside. He pulled on it with all his strength, but he could hear something coming from their side, which distracted the guys from the Sasaki gang. Bizarrely, it sounded like the doors to the warehouse were closing. _That's right- there are controls for that, like the garage door opener thing._ A hand tapped on his shoulder and he nearly had a heart attack, but it was Miyazawa. She ran back to the other end of the storage container and nodded, and he sprinted to her side right as she shut the door and latched it. He heard banging on the door immediately after.

"I didn't see that coming," he breathed. "Was that part of the plan?"

"Yes. I need you to get back to the fight the other way. They aren't supposed to see me, or they'll figure out what happened to their friends."

"Right... right..." Tomoya ran out the other door of the warehouse, then went back to the alley where the fighting was taking place. It seemed someone had recognized Sakagami and attacked her specifically. There were a handful of young men knocked out around her feet, but now the leader was pressuring her himself. _Shit, she can't keep it up forever._ Not willing or able to focus on anything else, he caught up with her and kicked Sasaki in the knee, which earned him a punch from one of the other guys, but gave his friend the opening she needed. Another kick from her laid the enemy out.

He found himself lying on the ground and looking over at the entrance to the warehouse where seven angry combatants were currently being detained, to their increasingly loud objection. A few of the Miyazawa gang members had taken to guarding the door to keep the other guys from reaching the button that would open it. _If they get those guys back in the fight, it's over for us._ Struggling to his feet, he ran to the back of one of the people trying to get to the button, who looked to be on the scrawny side. _I'll kick him in the spine._ As the combatant twisted in pain and fell backward, he saw that it was a girl. _Damn- I guess Sasaki does take girls._

Someone else kicked him in the ribs, making him recoil, and he was finding it hard to keep up with the young man's attacks. _They're attacking me because I don't look as tough as everyone else._ He tried backing up, but hit a wall of some sort before Sudou bailed him out by hitting one of the guy's ears with an open palm. _Damn it- they've lost their leader, but there's still more of them._ Without hesitation he punched his own attacker in the face, hurting his hand as much as anything else. _If our leader is still free, she could try for another gambit- they'd want to even the score and there's no one to tell them not to follow her._ Sakagami was getting surrounded again.

If he could be certain the enemies were turning their backs to him because they saw him as less of a threat, he was not that offended by it. _I'm definitely in over my head._ He grabbed the neck of one of the guys surrounding his friend, but it only earned him a kick to the knee as some of them split off to attack him. All at once he was beset, and it seemed no one else was faring any better, even as his eyes madly glanced whenever a spare moment presented itself. Barely managing to block most of the blows, he thought to call out to the leader. _They need to see her- they'll want to even the score- and we don't have a better option._

"Miyazawa!" One of his attackers was stunned for a moment, looking away as he backed up, getting his bearings. It seemed most of the fighters were out of breath, knocked out, or run off, leaving him and a worn out Sakagami with three of them. As one approached he put everything he had into a punch, but it was not enough. Another one kicked him in the chest, causing him to double over.

"Think we don't know that dude's not coming back?" one asked between ragged breaths. "Kinda man would leave his little sister to this kinda thing?" He glanced over at the girl, who was breathing heavily in a fighting stance, ready to counter when they grew bored with him. "Doesn't look like your girlfriend's jumping in to rescue you. Shame. It'd have been easier to take you both down at once." _That's why she's not attacking, you moron._

Tomoya steadily realized his plan to get their leader over and get her to lead them off was untenable. They no longer needed to catch her to win the fight; there were only two fighters left. It was also doubtful they would fall for the same trick twice. _At least they're not letting their friends out of that warehouse._ He caught a few more blows on the ground.

They moved to try to surround her, breathing heavily. One of them might have had a cracked rib, but Sakagami kicked one of the others in the head before he could get behind her. Another one grabbed her by the arm. _I have to get up... she can't just go down if they hit her..._ His body was on fire. _...she wasn't supposed to get hurt... I have to get... at least one of them away from her..._ He got to an unsteady footing and grabbed one of them from behind, dragging him backward. As he felt himself getting thrown back, he saw his friend resort to using her hands for the first time in his life. The angle was unfavorable, but he could tell she hit her opponent in the eyes and throat before bringing both hands down on the top of his head, losing her footing as he collapsed.

"Looks like it's just the two of us, isn't it..." the last of their enemies said, looking around. "One of you shits might wake up, but I'll have that door open... then we're going to kill you... Some of us want you alive, but I don't think that's necessary. The things we'll be doing to Miyazawa's sister... her screams will make you turn over in your grave..."

"Excuse me," a voice said from behind. Tomoya could not quite tell what was going on; it almost seemed like an umbrella jutted out of nowhere. He blinked and the guy from the Sasaki gang was on the ground. He took the hand that was extended to him.

"Who... who are you?" he asked, his vision clearing. It was the stranger.

"I have been meaning to tell you for some time now. My name is Robert Mungle. I was an old friend and colleague of the Ichinose family."

The door on the warehouse was coming up, somehow.

"We... have to get out of here... there are seven of them, and they're going to be pissed at me..."

"I am rather unconcerned."

"I think one of them has a knife... this is a... I don't know what to call it, it's a no-holds barred street fight." _How do I make him understand?_ He looked over to Sakagami, who was still out cold. He saw Miyazawa from around the corner, but she seemed hesitant to approach him and the gentleman.

"Is it now?"

"Yeah, they'll kill us. Miyazawa, you should get out of here-" he started, but she approached to his dismay.

"Is this the man who's been following Kotomi?"

"Yeah, he hasn't explained that yet. How are they getting the door open- it's not supposed to open from the inside."

"I had Yu and Pelajar find the controls and close it, then they went through the vent. I guess they're ripping the wiring up and seeing what works." She did not seem to share his concern either. Rather, she picked up a knife out of the back pocket of one of her own gang members and walked over to Sasaki.

"Miss, I do not think that will be necessary." Mungle drew a pistol apparently from nowhere and pointed it at the door as it opened. _Was he keeping it in the umbrella? ...how did it get there, though?_ It was remotely possible he could have picked it up from one of the gang members, but it seemed unlikely. The door of the warehouse went back down. _They might think he's an undercover cop and we're all getting arrested._ He shook his head. _No, I'm probably giving them too little credit. They probably think he's just some guy pointing a gun at them and they don't want to get shot._ It bore stating that if Miyazawa had been intent on threatening their leader with a knife, the fight was over anyway.

"Uh... thanks a lot. I'll be sure to talk to Kotomi about you the next time I see her." Tomoya knew not what else to say. He went to check on Sakagami, who was conscious, but out of breath. "I'm going to take her home. Do what you need to do," he suggested, turning to the gang leader.

"There is no reason to worry about me, Okazaki. The way fights are normally decided, we won, and Sasaki will understand this." She smiled. "Thank you."

Hoping she was right, he picked up his friend, feeling how light she was for the first time. He doubted he could carry her the whole way, since he was not that strong himself, especially now, but from the few times he had seen her leave school, he had an idea of where she lived. _Let's hope she starts talking before I go the wrong way._

Remembering that she lived somewhere near where he lived, either from a memory or something else, he crossed a street, still carrying her somehow. At some point his strength nearly gave out, but he was only a block away from his house. _We can stop there for a minute._ He carried her inside, hearing his dad move around, and took her upstairs as quickly as possible. She was fading in and out of consciousness.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Sakagami groaned. She had not taken any hits that he could see, but she was definitely out of energy. "Okay, well, I'll let you rest here for a bit..." he managed, putting her on the bed. _I really don't need to make a habit of this. My back already has knots in it._

Glad that he was at least tired enough to go to sleep, he thought of how Kotomi said that it was not what it looked like as soon as he walked in, making him chuckle weakly because he could not be sure he had any idea what it looked like when she said it. _How does this look, though? Well, I hope she realizes I brought her here so she could rest... that's what I said, anyway... but there's no way to just take a girl to your room without it looking bad._

Deciding not to go back downstairs, since his father would know something was up, he went and took a shower and lied down next to the bed. Worn out, he felt the weight of his eyelids and tried not to think about his pain and discomfort. Focusing only on his hope that things would change for the better, he went to sleep.

At some point in the dark void he felt a weight on him, like a blanket being added to his sleeping form. It felt a bit heavier than a blanket though, so it occurred to him that he might be experiencing sleep paralysis. As far as he knew, the best way to get out of that was to refrain from panicking and go back to sleep, and in truth he was hardly panicked about something he understood.

Morning came and Sakagami was lying on top of him. It did not look like she fell of the bed, but he heard himself asking if that were what had happened. She woke with a start. _Well, at least one of us is well-rested._

"Hey, wake up," he said, feeling his pants getting tight on him. _It's an entirely natural response._ "Are you going to sleep forever? Don't you have a school to run?" The girl woke with a start and nearly jumped off of him. "Did you fall off the bed or something?"

"Um... yes."

They got to a seated position, facing each other. Looking over at the clock, it was still early. _That's just what I needed._

"Are you hurt or anything?"

"No. Are you?"

"Not really. I'll live," he decided. Tomoya was not exactly sure how many hits he had taken, but the bruises would heal sooner or later. "We should just get to school." They were already dressed, though they looked disheveled. "Really, though, how did you end up-"

"We have to get to school," Sakagami decided, practically running out. He followed her, the comprehension coming too late as always. _I never realized she... not even in the future, I literally never realized it._ He kicked the doorway on his way out. _It doesn't matter. It just doesn't fucking matter, the reasons are the same anyway and she knows it. That's why she never told me._

There was no hope for his friend being any more than his friend; not unless she really wanted to ruin her career, and it was a good worthwhile career she would be ruining. _There's no way she'd lose sight of the cherry blossoms. After she protects the trees leading to the school, there will be other cherry blossoms, other goals she'll have to achieve somehow. I can't just drag her away from that._

"Are you really all right?" the girl asked as they walked, likely seeing his downcast expression.

"It'll be fine." _I should tell her that I'm dating someone else. Technically, I am supposed to be dating someone else. I just don't know how she'll react if I spring it on her like that._

"Well, if you ever want to talk..."

"Thanks for everything last night. I can't put it into words. I know I'm not a polite guy who usually says thank you, but..."

Sakagami showed him an oddly devious smile.

"It took me back, actually. Ever since I left the street, I've been able to feel the constantly increasing pressure." She looked off into the distance as they continued on their way to the school, perhaps lost in an old memory of her own. "I always knew I had to get my life on track, and I knew I wanted to do it, because the easiest thing in the world would have been going back to the way I lived before." Being honest with himself, he could see it. There were times right after he gave up basketball that there was nothing he wanted to do more than play again; he would have even suffered through the arduous drills. Fighting would come back to his friend like riding a bicycle.

"Remind me not to piss you off," he muttered.


	35. The Election Results

Tomoya was not able to focus in class again. Almost immediately on arriving to school, they heard from Harada that Sunohara had won the election by one vote. He had intended to tell Sakagami to act devastated, but it seemed she needed no instruction, nor did she need to act. She said that she needed a moment and walked off somewhere. _Shit. We definitely didn't lose because we had the worst candidate- it must have been people not taking it seriously or something._ He sighed, trying to get back to his work. There was a nearly infinite amount of possible explanations and there was no point to going through all of them. To make his friend feel better, he would probably find something to tell her, but he was not a skilled liar. _I really hope she doesn't think it was because I didn't want to be seen with her._

Right as class ended, he turned to his other friend, who appeared to want to relish his victory a little more. He was wearing his normal clothes, meaning the candidate who won was skipping or something, but that did not stop him from boasting about it with his friend who already knew the score.

"I knew I'd be better at being a girl if I gave it a shot. It's the easiest thing in the world."

"Well, you should probably call for a recount and give it up. If people find out you were pretending to be a girl-"

"They'll realize how easy it is? Oh, come on, I won what was basically a beauty and popularity contest."

"We still don't know how exactly you won. You only won by a single vote." _Well, he didn't have nearly as many personal friends coming out to vote for him as Sakagami did. If only Furukawa had been able to vote..._

"That's enough, though, isn't it? Don't go around saying I cheated because I didn't. I had to win it legit or there would be no point."

"I wasn't going to say you cheated. I'm just concerned because when Mitsurugi finds out you were pretending to be a girl, he's going to break every bone in your body. It's better if you don't brag about it and just let this all kind of fade into the background. Besides, there are a bunch of boring meetings you'll have to attend to prepare you for being president next year, and you're not even going to be here next year."

The discussion, fortunately, seemed mostly concluded. Sunohara appeared to want his opponent to suffer a little while longer, so there was no progress to be made. Sakagami was probably going to find out what happened with the false identity without his help, so her opponent was definitely going to get his wish. He reminded himself that what she wanted was the job, not the honor of winning, but by making it into that kind of contest, losing would hurt her even if she got the job.

Classes let out at some point and he walked off to lunch, where he sat outside with Kyou at her beckoning. It was kind of nice, not having to talk about his problems for a change; he was mostly listening to her give herself compliments through stories of her upbringing and personal life. _I guess I did spend most of my life so far just kind of running away from my problems._

"Why do you want to be a teacher?" he asked. He could have sworn he said he never wanted to be on the inside of a school again.

"I like kids. It's more than that, of course. I like instructing people, I like knowing things, but why I settled on the job was because I wanted nothing more than to teach kids. If you get them at the right age, they'll be cute for the rest of your life."

"Huh. I guess if you can't handle a litmus of how old you're getting, that would make sense."

"Well, you would never have kids anyway, since you don't have a sense of responsibility," Kyou shot back. Tomoya guessed that it was a moral insult rather than her usual fare because he sprung it on her, but the truth was he really felt it. Ever since Yoshino-sensei came at him with the jab about how he should start acting like an adult and think things through, and it was true enough that he had assumed the whole wedding thing would be easy and they would just go along with it, he had given more and more thought to the concept of responsibility. "Sorry."

"No, that's fair. I haven't really thought about it, but I can't see myself having kids, not even in a few years from now. I don't know what my financial situation is going to be in a month or so, and I definitely don't know what it would be like five years out."

There was a pause.

"You wouldn't just go for it? I thought it could go either way, like you know you wouldn't be responsible, or you decided you didn't care." He thought about it. It was not some kind of veiled compliment as far as he could tell. It really did not sound like a joke.

"You're making me sound like human garbage," he said, getting up. His appetite had disappeared for some reason. "I have to get to class." He thought about leaving Fujibayashi to clean up, but decided against it. _That's what someone irresponsible would do, isn't it?_

Class was standard. He tried not to pay any attention to his friend, since it seemed a pretty safe bet that he would give up the job, and anything further might disrupt that balance. _I'd rather just go find her at the end of the day or something. If I tell her about the plan, she'll feel better, but she can still act devastated well enough to fool Sunohara._ It looked like Ryou wanted to tell him something.

"What?" he whispered as one teacher was walking out.

"Do you... like... my sister?" she asked.

"I'm trying to figure it out."

"That's what she told me... I was wondering if... maybe you already knew."

"Well, I'm sure you'll be the first to find out," he joked. It took her a moment before she realized he was talking about divination.

"Oh! Do you want a fortune?" she asked. _I could sure use a good one._

"Yeah," he whispered, seeing the next teacher come in. As he started class, Ryou was rolling dice quietly by tossing them, catching them, and setting them down without adjusting the position of her hand. She scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to him a few minutes later. The first thing he noticed was the fortune itself, that he would experience an unexpected hardship and an unexpected triumph, an unearned punishment and an unmerited reward, but the bizarre, crossed-out calculations that the girl had performed were still mostly legible. _Huh. I guess it makes sense she would experiment with a couple different methods. I might remember something about that; I can't be sure right now._

He handed the note back to intone that he got the message and caught up with what they were doing in class. He had wanted to meet with Sakagami after school let out, but in all honesty, he did not exactly leave things well with Miyazawa. She had assured him that the fight was won, but it was worth paying her a visit in the reference room at some point, and the sooner he took care of that the better. Somehow reminded of the time he ran into Mitsurugi in detention, perhaps because he might get detention if he distracted himself in class much more, he also had a reason to go see the rugby player. He was mostly lying to Sunohara by implying there was some chance he wasn't getting a beating; but he saw the prime suspect as a decent guy, and it was most likely worth talking him out of doing anything illegal.

 _Well, after that strange guy pulled a gun on those gang members last night, I'm probably not the best person to offer a legal opinion._ Getting out of class, his feet took him to the gate, not quite sure who would be out there until he ran into Kotomi. _Well, I need to talk to her anyway. I might as well walk her home._

"Hi, Okazaki," she said. "What were you doing last night?" They started walking.

"Well, that's a long story, but I ran into your friend. He's actually a really nice guy. I couldn't tell what was in it for him, and he helped me out of a real bind."

"What's his name?" she asked after a minute.

"He introduced himself as Robert Mungle."

"I haven't heard that name before. What did he do?"

Tomoya gave a short explanation of what happened, how Miyazawa and Sakagami and he had been in a rumble, and the gentleman showed up and helped them. He could not say why he was in the area, or why he helped, but it seemed pretty certain he was not a bad guy. The girl walking next to him had a finger on her lower lip.

"Well... he still sounds pretty dangerous," Kotomi decided. "Sometimes sex offenders are people you would normally regard as good, because doing bad things doesn't mean you treat everyone badly all the time."

"I mean, I guess I didn't ask if he was a sex offender. I just think we should talk to him. Did you tell your parents about him?"

"Yes, I told my- parents about him. I said there was nothing to suggest he was a bad guy, but I was worried about him following me every day. They told me the police would investigate, but that doesn't mean they'll immediately arrest him. Most of the time they watch the route to determine whether or not the stalking claim is legitimate, then they go talk to him." She sighed. "They said I did the right thing by having a friend walk me home."

"Oh, that's right. Did they meet Sunohara?"

"No, he skipped out as soon as I was on the right street. Apparently he lives in the opposite direction."

"Yeah, I didn't think about it. I don't imagine he was the perfect gentleman."

"It wasn't that bad," she assessed, looking around as they crossed the street. "He seemed to understand that I just wanted to go home and see my- parents, and he told me that it had been a while since he had seen any of his family members. I asked if Mei were one of them, and he said it was his sister's name. I suppose he figured out that I knew already and there was no harm in telling me about that." _Huh. I guess he might have figured that I told her, or that she's really smart. Most people know that, though._

"Well, I guess at least he did what I asked. He's usually pretty grateful for my help."

It was difficult coming up with redeeming factors for his friend, but he seemed to care about his family members, he had a strong will, and that was about it. It seemed likely he would have to grow up sooner or later, since he did not come from a wealthy family, so he would have to get a job. That said, he really had no idea what kind of job Sunohara would do.

"Do you think you can keep walking me home for a little while?" Kotomi asked. "It's not too much of a problem if you have to ask a friend to do it, but... my parents are concerned and they don't want me going home alone."

"All right. If I'm busy, I'll get someone else," he said, knocking on the door. "I imagine you'd like the fact that they're concerned about you."

"I do." She sighed. "I wasn't exactly being fair to them. There were times I thought they were just exerting authority over me, but... looking back on it, they always did care about me."

"Are you worried that by referring to them as your parents..." he started, remembering she had a point of disagreement about that.

"I don't know. I haven't thought about all the implications." She smiled. "They qualify."

As he left, he thought that from anyone else it would be weak praise, but from her it meant a lot. Kotomi was somewhat reticent with words of gratitude and admiration, though her criticism was usually sparing as well. _It's like having Kyou say that you were a good friend without ruining it by insulting you at the same time._ He passed under a street light, which made him notice some of the lights were not working. He still had not figured that one out. _Well, I guess she isn't that different from me in that regard._

Tomoya liked to think he did nice things for his friends, but most of the time it felt like an obligation, and he was rarely nice about it, except possibly with Sakagami. There was Furukawa too, he supposed, but his relationship with her was weird and she seemed like she would buckle under the opprobrium of his usual rudeness. _Come to think of it, she's about to graduate too. I don't know how she's going to make it out there._

He found himself walking through what he knew to be Miyazawa territory now, but for some reason it did not quite feel that way. He could swear he spotted some of the guys from the rumble. _They wouldn't just not honor the agreement, would they? Their leader seemed like a reasonable guy._

He guessed that there was the possibility of rogue agents, or that the deal did not go into effect yet, but both of those ideas sounded far-fetched. A leader had to have control over his gang or he wouldn't be able to sell protection, even from his own guys. There would hardly be any point to running the gang at all. Avoiding a man who from a distance looked like Ryu, he decided he could not go home, or even to his proper street while they were following him, because then they would know where he lived. Worse, though, if he kept walking, they would eventually catch up to him, and he would be in the same situation. _I'd rather deal with these jerks when it's light out._ He turned a corner sharply and went home, hoping no one saw him and feeling a bit more sympathy for his old friend.

Aware that he could keep guessing about what it all meant until the following morning, he decided to turn in. At some point he would have to start deputizing his friends to go around helping his other friends with their problems, and he had, in a sense, because he could get Sakagami to help Miyazawa and he could get Sunohara to help Kotomi. It was not that complicated of an idea, when he thought about it, but it was easy to see why people usually insisted on moral things having to be personally carried out. It seemed like asking someone else to do something nice was cheating, but if he thought about it, his friends would probably not do most of the nice things he asked if he had not done things for them.

Getting home and waving to his father interrupted his thoughts, but they returned as soon as he was up in his room, grateful to lie on his own damn bed again.

With Sunohara it was obvious enough; he was lazy and largely did not care about strangers like Kotomi, but he had to recognize that his friend was trying to help by giving him a false identity and not revealing it. Sakagami was a nice girl who liked to serve the public and was one of the best friends he had ever had, but she had the same amount of schoolwork as everyone else if not more, as well as running for president of student council up until recently. She also demonstrated a desire to improve her reputation, so really she had an unending amount of excuses for bailing on favors for a delinquent. _There's also the fact that she probably likes me._

His fist hit the wall, though not so hard it would be loud or hurt his hand. It was an injustice on top of an injustice, that he had one girl who liked him despite his not having given her any indication himself, and another who liked him despite his having said that it would certainly not work. He suspected that his somewhat more mature outlook on things that resulted from his having access to memories from some sort of alternate reality in which he was an adult, or possibly his own future, he was more easily able to tell when high school girls liked him. They normally kept their cards close enough to their chests to fool boys their age, and that never failed as far as he knew, but he could see right through them. He was fundamentally playing in the wrong league.

There was a point where he heard something about girls of that age being more susceptible to the charms of young men a few years older, or even their teachers, and he might well actually be as old as one of them. _No- I have some memory but I don't have anywhere near all of it. I'm not that guy from my memories._ His eyelids started to grow heavy. _I can't be that guy._


	36. Hollow Victories

The succeeding morning Tomoya did not see any of the Sasaki gang members, meaning they most likely were not interested in following him. He had some amount of hope he would not see them on his way to school, but he was more focused on Yoshino, who was doing routine maintenance by the looks of it. _How do I know that?_

"Okazaki. I hope this day smiles on you, whether to welcome glad tidings or raise your spirits in defiance."

"Well, it should be better than some of the others," he said. "You seem happy."

"I am, for my wife may be pregnant with our first child, though fate has yet to unravel."

"Oh. That's..." _Well, I assume he wanted a kid. He seems like he'd be responsible enough to wait to be ready for one._ "I guess that's great, then." The electrician smiled back.

"With our dear sister out of danger, the lovely Kouko decided she is enamored with caring for those who cannot care for themselves, and we told Fuko that we would bring our child to see her as soon as possible." _That's right. The doctors said that it doesn't look like she's going to die anymore._

"Well, good luck, I guess," he said, waving goodbye and walking the rest of the way to school. Sakagami met him before his first class. _It's like there's a queue somewhere._

"Sunohara hasn't given up the job yet."

"He will; he isn't even going to be here next year." _He'll have a job he's actually qualified to do._

His friend just sighed.

"I just... I can't believe I lost," she said at last. "I thought that if anyone would skip voting, it would be his fans."

"I think he fooled a lot of people by mostly staying out of their way. Nobody thought to look any closer, and I think a good bit of your fans would have been home studying instead of coming to the school to stand in line just to vote. They probably all thought they had it in the bag."

"I knew I should have done something differently- I should have changed my policy at the last minute, so that they could vote based on policy."

"Sunohara was probably waiting for you to make any sort of change so he could copy you. There was nothing he wanted more than to win, and you really can't beat that with being a better candidate. We should get to class."

He had a thought that he was being dismissive of her concerns, and he guessed he kind of was, but she would have the job sooner or later so it hardly mattered. It would also not necessarily do him any favors to let her think he liked her, when really he was having a hard time determining what his type was. Looking over at Ryou, he remembered he hardly clashed with her except over the validity of fortune-telling, and he was never impolite about it, but for some reason that only she or the fates understood, it would never have worked out. Generally, he had not given her a second thought since then, and if he were generous with himself he would call it 'out of respect for her wishes'.

After his first class, he thought about going down to the reference room and skipping the second one, since it had been a while since he had done that. _I can study with Kotomi and we'll cover whatever I missed. It's mostly review at this point anyway._ As he got up, however, Sunohara wanted a word.

"Do you really like Sakagami?" he asked. _That's right... I told him I did a while ago and he took it seriously._

"It doesn't matter. I'd ruin her career." He had no wish to explain everything.

"Yeah, you probably would." For some reason the blond boy seemed more disheartened than he was. _Well, I've gotten used to the idea. I haven't told him about Kyou yet._

When at last they let out for lunch, he was outside again, though this time Miyazawa had deigned to join them. _She doesn't usually interrupt dates, or leave her favorite room for that matter, but she's probably annoyed at me for making myself hard to find. Not that I did it on purpose._

"Hi, Okazaki. Are you two dating?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, we kind of are. We're learning a bit about each other."

"Oh, from the way Sakagami looked at you..."

"She's a friend. Most of my friends are girls for some reason." Kyou seemed to be more interested in the comment about the other girl, but she seemed to take his deflection at face value. _She knows how it is for me._

"Oh, well I'm the opposite," Miyazawa said. "My friends have been having a bit of a rough time." _Doesn't want to say anything with anyone else around._

"You'll have to tell him about that later," their host said, pouring tea for both of them. The gang leader needed no further rudeness to know her welcome was at an end, but she nodded in his direction. _Well, I'm sorry I walked Kotomi home, damn it._ "What's on your mind?"

"It seems like I just can't win sometimes. It's like I never tried for years and now that I'm trying, nothing is working." He sighed. "I guess I really shouldn't lose my shit over it if she's annoyed with me, since I don't think she's into me, and I already have enough of that."

Kyou nodded. It was easy enough for her to detect annoyance. This time she had made a beef bowl for the two of them, which was good.

"I guess I went too far yesterday," she said quietly. She did not proceed to ruin the apology by telling him it was only because he could not handle his criticism.

"No, you were basically right," he responded at length. "I haven't even told you most of what I did and tried to do when I was trying to get Yoshino's wedding to happen."

"Well, I'll be honest, I'm not a top student myself, but I do try my best and I have a good understanding of all subjects. That was part of why I wanted to become a teacher."

"That makes sense." It was not a totally outlandish thing to factor in career choice. "Are you going to keep living around here?"

"I hope I can be here," she said. "Ryou expects to stay in town, and I would prefer to be near her."

"Huh. I always wanted to get away." He remembered seeing the future nurse in his vision, but he supposed his location could not have been determined until the second vision. _Maybe I should get away. Maybe that's the best way to avoid what happened._

"How come?"

"It just seems like nothing ever happens here... or it did." He sighed. "The truth is I just never did anything. When you never do anything, you never open yourself up to new choices, you never give yourself any responsibility." It was time to go to class, he knew. He could stop by the reference room right as school got out, since he was pretty sure he had nothing else going on. _I'll get Sunohara to walk Kotomi home. Who knows, maybe he'll have a friend other than me._

In history he had to answer a few questions about the economic boom Japan experienced after the second world war, and he looked over at his friend, who was now staring out the window. _Well, I figured he wouldn't be paying attention, but he's usually asleep at this hour._

"Hey," he whispered. "Do you think you could find Ichinose again today?"

The blonde boy frowned.

"I've got something, actually." Tomoya blinked as if his vision would clear and he would see something other than Sunohara having something to do and choosing that over something he would do on a whim.

"Do you think you could get Mitsurugi to do it?"

"No. I don't think I can get him to do much of anything." _There's no point in pursuing that line of inquiry any further._

"What is it you have to do?"

"I have to find out how to give up the job of being president. I really don't want the job, and I definitely don't still want it. Humiliating Sakagami isn't as fun as I thought it would be." Some of his actions from earlier that day were starting to make sense.

"Well, just skip the next class and go to the current student council. If anyone asks, I'll say you had to meet with them on official business." His friend smirked at the thought. In a way, it was official business. It was also an excuse to skip class, and he knew his friend would take it.

Eventually his classes were over and he found Miyazawa where he expected her.

"We didn't exactly win, did we?" he asked.

"No," she answered wearily. Perhaps she had been hoping he would guess incorrectly, or ask about something irrelevant. "Gang fights are everyone against everyone, and we left a whole seven of their guys in a warehouse while we cleaned up the rest. It's also not allowed to bring in new combatants, so the older gentleman with the gun was not supposed to be there in the first place.

"We didn't invite him."

"Most of the time the losing side does not invite the police, but they show up all the same, and they keep the losing side from losing. From what I've heard, that was what happened here." Tomoya noticed his fingers had started tapping the desk through her explanation. _That's a bit rude._

"Well, yeah, we probably would have lost if he hadn't been there, but he was just some guy, he wasn't a cop or anything. Can't we say he was in the gang the whole time, and he showed up late?" The gang leader shook her head.

"There is no reason for Sasaki to be obligated to believe me, and most of our gang is much younger. There's really no way that they would believe he was a member, even if he said it himself."

"Are they just coming up with anything they can to get out of losing?" he asked, raising his voice slightly. "What if we had another rumble and invited him from the start? He could just shoot six of them right off the bat, and they'd lose most of their edge right then and there!" He exhaled sharply, doing his best to retain control. What was angering him, most likely, was the fact that the team with knives and electroshock devices who had threatened them with every terrible thing they could think of were now complaining about the rules. _Well, I guess none of that was against the rules, now was it?_ He blew a hair out of his eye.

"Unfortunately their claim is legitimate. The rules to which we agreed are clearly in their favor. For the sake of my brother's gang, we have to be seen to follow the rules, and the other gang is in the same position."

"What do they want?"

"Kinoshita, mainly. They'll call of the whole complaint if they get him. If they can't have that, they want a fight between two small units of the same size."

"Well, that's what we wanted initially, right? No one can beat Sakagami." The girl across from him frowned.

"I wouldn't count on her being able to participate. It's still our best bet, and we'll see who all is well enough to fight, but it's not a guarantee. Do you even know how to contact your new friend?"

"I'm pretty sure we can work something out. Just tell them it'll have to be in a few days or something."

"That should work. I think you should talk to your other friend. She seems pretty... well, she's not in a good shape. I'm not sure how I would explain it to you."

"That's fine. I think I know where to find her."

He got up and walked outside, leaving the old school building. Grateful to have finally figured out what was going on with the gangs, and to have someone to walk Kotomi to her house, he crossed the grounds and found the shed where they kept the PE supplies. Sakagami was lying down on some tumbling mats, staring at the ceiling as he came in.

"Sunohara agreed to give up the job. Pretty sure he went to the council today and took care of it." His friend seemed none too cheered, which was what he felt he should have expected. _She didn't want to win for the wrong reasons, like beating him in shogi. It wasn't just the job she wanted; she was just saying that._ "Are you feeling all right?"

"Do you need me to hit someone for you?" she asked.

"I'll get back to you on that. That's not what's important."

"I wouldn't mind it too much. At least I'm good at that."

"You would have beaten anyone else, anyone who was taking it seriously. I feel like I could accept it if an actual girl was the same in policy, but prettier and more feminine." She sighed. "I guess he got what he wanted. He made me feel like I made him feel."

Tomoya wanted to blame society, but the comparison was fair. As little as he liked it, the circumstances were mostly the same.

"Well, he was the one who wanted to fight you. He wouldn't give you a choice."

"I could have lied, I suppose. I could have said I'm not really a good fighter."

"Well, then you'd be expecting more of yourself than you expect of him. He deliberately challenged you in the election just because he wanted you to lose. He told me himself."

"He had every right to run against me, and the only way of proving his point was to run as a girl. Well, he proved it. He's better at being feminine than I am." He was tempted to interpret the results of the voting as voter turnout, but really the end result was the same. If the people who wanted to vote for her would have only voted for her if they were not too busy studying, then the same could not be said of the people who wanted to vote for Sunohara. "Did anyone see through him?"

"I think Kotomi knew pretty early on. She's like the smartest person in school, though, so she would know. If I told anyone-"

"I wouldn't want you to tell anyone. Then I wouldn't win the way I wanted to win."

A moment passed. He knew what she wanted him to tell her, that he asked her to help him with the gang fight because he liked her, not because she was good at fighting, but that was a lie, and it was a stupid one. She had no reason to believe it.

"I saw you with Kyou earlier," Sakagami said quietly. _I'd better tell her the truth._

"She told me she likes me. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I honestly haven't thought about whether I like her or not, or how much, or in what way." He sighed. "We're learning a little more about each other so I can give her an answer. I actually feel kind of bad, having this... disparity of information, even though it's not that different from what most girls have when a guy confesses to them."

"You know why I came here, don't you?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"I remember it as well as you do." A moment passed as her eyes met his. "I can't date two girls, Tomoyo. This isn't a manga." She started absently playing with the buttons on the jacket of her uniform.

"It doesn't have to work that way." Perhaps seeing no apparent reaction from him, she sat up. "I know you care about my reputation... we can keep this secret. Kyou is a nice girl. I can see why you asked her to help me." She closed her eyes a moment. "Please hear her out and tell her nicely that you can't see her anymore."

Tomoya smiled back at her.

"I asked her to help you because you didn't need any help acting feminine. You're actually really good at that." He took a seat on a stack of bases. "Do you think either she or her sister never feel like they're not good enough?" Sakagami appeared to consider his words. "The best of us do. That's just how it is. If you hold yourself to any kind of meaningful standard, you're not going to feel like you're good enough all the time." He had a thought that his words might have come from a memory, but he could have figured it out sooner if he had thought about it. It had taken him a while to get over losing his ability to play basketball, and at first he decided he would just have to not hold himself to a standard. He broke down all the expectations he had for himself.

At some point, that changed. _It was probably around the time I started having friends apart from Sunohara._

"What should I do?" his friend asked.

"Have a little faith in yourself. I said that I think you don't need any more help, and I meant it. I think, sooner or later, you'll find a guy who likes you as you are. Until then, you've got a job to do, President Sakagami."


	37. First Impressions

Tomoya had spent the rest of the night studying after going home early. He wanted to visit Sunohara pretty soon, since he wanted to tell his other friend Sakagami was going to get over it eventually, and he also wanted to see Mitsurugi, whom he had not seen at all in days. It was not really feasible to stop by there on the way to school, though, so he would have to do it after. _There is one place I can go on the way, though._

The door was open at Furukawa bakery, though according to the parents, their daughter was asleep. They looked like there was something they were not telling him, but there was no way he could get it out of them and he really had no desire to pry up their secrets. He asked how Nagisa was doing, since that was what he wanted to know, and they said she was getting better.

"Well, that's probably as good as the news going to get," he said, trying to keep a lighthearted tone to his voice.

"You really seem to understand the situation," Sanae said. "Did she tell you how bad it was before?" _Better just say that she did._

"Uh, yeah, she gave me some idea... kind of to set my expectations." In truth he had no idea how his expectations had been set. Akio offered him some of his wife's bread, since it was, of course, spectacular and there was no reason for him not to try it, and he took it to be polite, but made something up about having just brushed his teeth, so they gave it to him in a paper bag on his way out. _I managed to get out of that without insulting her too much. She might have run out the door again._

He got to school and found that Ryou was missing from class, which was unusual to say the least, since she was the representative, but he supposed it happened from time to time. _She could just be sick. It's not like Furukawa has a monopoly on illness._ The teacher seemed to ignore the girl's absence, suggesting he knew the reason that she was out. He asked Sunohara how the trip with Kotomi was, and apparently they talked less that time, but he got to meet her foster parents, and apparently they took a liking to him. Tomoya knew that he usually embellished stories, but somehow it seemed this detail was real.

"Do you know where Ryou is?" the blonde boy asked after their first few classes.

"I'd assume she's sick. She wouldn't miss for any other reason." He did not know where she was on the class ranking, because he rarely looked, but he had some idea she was a diligent student and that was why teachers liked her. _They like her more than Kyou._ Having given Sakagami an answer, even if it had not been an answer either of them had necessarily enjoyed, he felt a little better about dating Fujibayashi, but he was no closer to being certain if he liked her or not. _She'll probably just leave because I'm not decisive enough._

When he thought about spending time with her, he usually found it pleasant, but before they were dating it had been a different story. He liked to think that the reason she had been mean to him was because he was mean to her and she found it easier than communicating normally, but could not help but suspect that she was only acting on her best behavior while they were on dates, and that if he decided to stay with her, she would be annoying again. _Well, I've heard of guys dating girls for years before making things serious. We'll get to a point where we know what we think of each other and it'll be fine._

Just before his last morning class, he asked his friend about Mitsurugi.

"Well, I didn't break up with him until after his friends found out, which was before he found out. He was just really embarrassed. He wouldn't look me in the eye once. I think he still believes I like dudes, so he doesn't believe or doesn't want to believe that I was just leading him on, but..."

"Now he has to deal with the fact that he fell in love with a dude for a few weeks." Tomoya leaned back in his chair. "I bet none of his friends knew. I bet they were all jealous that he was dating the super-cute presidential candidate."

"Don't remind me. Ugh. I just want to be done with that." _I can see why._

"Well, you're going to have to talk to him."

"Can't you say something? You were the one who convinced him I was really a girl in the first place."

"Fine. Next time I'm over at your dorm, I'll talk to him." _I was going to do it anyway._ "I don't think it'll be today, though." _I'd better study with Kotomi this evening. I don't know when the next fight is going to be, so I need to take my opportunities where I can get them._

At lunch, he was outside again, and it seemed the rest of the world was polite enough not to join, so he and his date would be alone this time. Kyou asked him about his childhood and he said it was a long story, so she had better start on hers. She briefly touched a hand to her temple before starting.

"Well, I would like to think I had a mostly normal childhood. Ryou and I were always friends growing up, but we used to compare and complain a lot more. We were both kind of spoiled until middle school, which was when our mother decided we needed to start growing up." He could see it. The sisters had said nothing of their mother, and nothing but good things of their father. _Spoiled kids often end up bored and have to find some way to entertain themselves. At least I know any children I ever have won't be spoiled._

"What happened then? You accepted your differences?" he asked, remembering that the question of having children had been a point of disagreement. _Do I want this date to go well?_

"Ha ha. That came later. I think Ryou picked up divination just to spite me, or just to have something that I didn't, so I told her it was dumb. At some point I stopped telling her that, and at some point she stopped being jealous of my cooking. We grew up, or at least I think we did."

Tomoya nodded. The girl sitting opposite him was prickly, he supposed, but she was a thoughtful person who understood other people well enough to be nice when she felt like it. _Where am I- I must be getting that impression from a memory, at least partially._ It was odd; he had not seen a real vision in several days, but he would still get these apocryphal notions about the people around him. _Why did I get those visions when I did?_

Interrupting his thinking, a wild boar surfaced from a nearby bush. He thought it was someone's pet at first, since that was more common in the middle of the town, but he supposed it could be a regular wild animal. Getting up to scare it off, Kyou reached over and grabbed his pant leg.

"Don't hurt him- he was supposed to wait for me to get back..."

"This thing is yours? Why isn't he at home?"

"Our parents don't know we have him." She looked around. "The one thing daddy never let us have was pets. He doesn't have anything against them; we just have a lot of furniture that most animals would tear up." _Can't even let pets in the house; as if I needed some other reason she was out of my league._ Being honest with himself, he knew he never had pets himself, since they seemed like a lot of work, but what seemed like more work was having one but never telling anyone else in your house about it.

"Where does the poor thing sleep?"

"Outside our home- there's an old doghouse I took home from a yard sale once."

"A _yard_ sale?" He might have seen one in a movie before, but he doubted he had ever set foot on a yard, let alone one that was selling a bunch of useless junk.

"That's not important now. Do you think you could lead him back?"

"I don't know where you live. As long as he's not causing any problems out here, we should be able to get him at the end of the day." He remembered he had some intention of walking Kotomi home. _She still hasn't met that guy yet. She might run off again. I still haven't figured out what her deal is._

They eventually decided to leave the boar outside and hope that no one would notice him. The day would be over pretty soon, and either one of them would be able to find him later. Tomoya seriously thought about whether or not he liked Kyou, and he knew that there were issues, but that was inevitable, and he knew that she had her unique appeal, but that was true of most girls. _I'm getting nowhere. I'm doing the right thing by thinking about it, probably, but I still need to go out with her a bit more._

In one of his later classes, his teacher wanted a student to go down to the music room and fetch a record player and a specific record. He volunteered instantly. _It's supposed to have something to do with the class, but I can't imagine what. I guess there's some chance he was just trying to get rid of me for a few minutes and he knew I'd take the bait to get up and walk around._

In the music room he saw Sugisaka.

"Have you seen anything by Ozawa Seiji?" he asked.

"What?" she asked, cocking her head.

"My teacher wants some record from him for some reason."

"Ozawa is a conductor. We have many pieces that he conducted or arranged, but it's everything from Ravel to Tchaïkovsky. I can't help you if I don't know what you want, you know." He wondered how much of her personality she had imparted to Nishina and how much she kept for herself. "Is there any reason I should suspect you know the name of the piece?"

"I don't care; I'm pretty sure he was just getting rid of me for a minute or two. No idea why." She picked a vinyl disk out and handed it to him without any further question. _Well, that was about the best way that could have gone._ He picked up a spare player and lugged it back to the room, not particularly concerned with why one of the girls from the music club happened to be in the music room. _I guess it's conceivable she was cutting class._

As he returned to the classroom, it seemed like everyone apart from his friends took a brief look at him before returning to what they were doing.

"What's up?" he asked Sunohara quietly.

"They think you're cheating. We're not supposed to tell you," the blonde boy whispered back. "They asked if anyone knew anything."

"Oh, that makes sense, actually." He was more concerned than he revealed. _If they just cancel my damn scores, all this work I've done will be ruined. I guess I could go back to the guidance counselor from before and see if he knows anything about why the rest of my teachers suspect me of cheating. I didn't get that impression from him._

When at last school let out, he met Kotomi by the gate. She asked about his friend, and he said he was busy. _He probably is. I'd hope he would at least put in a word with Mitsurugi, since no one else is talking to him._

"He said your parents seemed to like him."

"My- oh, that's right, yes, I guess they thought he was more of a gentleman than you." _He might be, actually._

"You seemed to hesitate a bit there," he prompted as they passed under a light that had been fixed recently. She looked straight up before answering.

"I- well, I may have been acting a little weird about my parents recently." Tomoya nodded. He truly had no place to judge her, but she seemed to be making herself call them her parents. "I decided to do a few things differently when we talked about how we weren't treating our parents very well. The first thing was that I always had to refer to them as my parents. The second thing was that I had to try to interpret what they did as acts of love before I considered any other interpretation. The last thing I did was tell them how I was feeling, about the st- Robert Mungle, about my future, and about... boys."

The sanitized ending did not particularly bother him. The only boys she knew were he and Sunohara, but in context she meant boys in whom she was interested in a different way. _I wouldn't be too surprised if she got married whenever she went abroad._

"Is something concerning you, then?" She nodded.

"I said I didn't care before, and I suppose I don't, since I would have done this anyway, but... I'm starting to feel like I really am forgetting my parents, the ones who gave birth to me. I feel like I'm not being grateful enough to them for the years I had with them. They were not at home every day, since they were world-renowned researchers, but when they were home, with me, they were just my parents. It was all I ever wanted."

They arrived at her home, finding her foster parents outside talking with the gentleman. They had a guarded look about them.

"My apologies," he was saying. "With no children of my own, I assumed she wanted to be surprised in the beginning. I realized she was afraid of me, but I could not think of any way to make her less afraid without personally visiting her. Your adoptive daughter is a smart girl, and she was suspicious of everything I tried. I thought about leaving a briefcase on the porch once, but I feared she would have called it in as a bomb." He noticed them.

"Robert Mungle..." Kotomi started quietly.

"I see the fine young man has introduced me. Miss Ichinose, I used to work with your parents. I could give you an idea of what we did together, but I figured it would be better to give you their personal notes." Her eyes seemed to light up a little bit. _Huh. I never thought about it, but I suppose someone like Kotomi would really want to know what her parents were doing up until they bought it in that plane crash._

"I never... thought I would get to see them..." It seemed there was a catch in his friend's throat, and he felt like he should leave, like he was intruding on some personal moment, but some feeling kept his feet planted. The gentleman handed her a leather-bound file.

"I confess I did want to see your reaction when I gave them to you. I wanted you to know that they came from your parents, and not some stranger." Going through the file's plastic dividers, she pulled out a large photo of her parents with a team of people Tomoya presumed to be colleagues of the Ichinoses, his eyes jumping to a younger version of Mungle. Close to him there was a woman who strongly resembled the girl shaking next to him. _Better put an arm around her._

"I... I used to be so quiet. I said I wouldn't say anything to anyone until they came back to me..."

"I wish I could have gotten this to you sooner, but I regret that I was not aware that your parents had children until a month ago, though I admit I made no effort to find out."

Kotomi gave no response; she was just staring at the photos, going through each one. It looked like it was starting to get difficult for her to hold so many things in her hands at once and her foster father suggested they go inside. The five of them went in and the visitor allowed himself to be led to the sitting room, the girl's foster mother disappearing to the kitchen. _Tea would be nice, I guess._ The remaining three of them watched as the girl sat on the floor getting out photos and ordering them by date and location.

"Do you have long?" the father asked.

"I'm retired," Mungle explained. "Much of this only fell into my hands when I announced my retirement; there was a man in Germany who had been holding onto it for a while; said I had as good of an excuse as anyone else, knowing Japanese."

"Was he close to Kotomi's parents?" Tomoya asked.

"Not very, it seems an Egyptian left the whole package to him before disappearing somewhere. Before him it would have been this Russian woman everyone called Tereshkova, and she might have been good friends with Mrs. Ichinose." He looked back at the girl on the floor. "My old friend was glad to be rid of it, but I think he really missed an opportunity." _I guess it is kind of cool that this package of memories traveled all around the world to get back here._ Oddly, the gentleman chuckled. "That isn't all I have, though."


	38. Dreaming Again

Kotomi appeared to have ignored the idea that there was more to be had, engrossed in reading what her parents had written years ago. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed to Tomoya that she was going through an experience that for most parents held a special significance, the first reunion with their grown children when they could see each other eye to eye. Perhaps she was not grown, but she was a brilliant girl, reading their notes and comprehending all of it, as if her entire life she had tried to make up for her lack of wisdom with knowledge and learning. _I can see why he didn't bring up whatever else he brought her. What could be more significant than this? This is... it's like her rightful inheritance as their child, the proof that she came from these two great people._

He looked back over at Mungle, who seemed to be having a cup of tea from a tray that the foster mother had brought in for everyone. _Whatever it is, I guess he'll leave it by the door on his way out or something. It doesn't look like she's going to give this up until she's done reading everything twice._ Tomoya, not understanding anything from his glimpses at the notes, felt out of place. He got why they meant so much to her, not really for the information itself, just that it was their work, but he felt like an eavesdropper in a one-sided conversation.

Looking over at the old man and old lady, the latter having taken a seat beside the former, he got over a childish notion that they would feel threatened by the discovery of this lost possession of their foster daughter's birth parents. He was not able to discern why he thought they would be jealous or injured by Kotomi apparently delighting in these artificial memories, but it was possible he had only a secondhand account of how they felt about her. Thinking about it, he supposed that even if her birth parents came back from the dead, they would want her to be happy, even if that meant she had to go live with them.

"What was that other thing you had for Kotomi?" the father asked, setting down his tea. "I know she's happy with what she has, but... I was curious."

"Well, I was saving the best for last," the gentleman explained. The girl looked up, but wasted not a minute more. "It was something that went with the papers most of the way, but I ended up having to go back to the home office to get it- there was some note on my desk saying I would need it when I met the Ichinose girl." He opened a briefcase he had been carrying to reveal a child's bear, and Tomoya felt somewhat disappointed, reminding himself that his friend had been a little girl when her parents died. "It was a birthday gift, I understand," Mungle said quietly, perhaps responding to Kotomi's expression, which he found surprising. She was staring at it almost plaintively as he reached forward and handed it to her. She had not said a word since going inside, and no exception was made for the gift. Hugging it close to her chest, she cried without reservation as she sat on her knees in the middle of the room.

"Let me take you upstairs," he said quietly, putting a hand on her shoulder. They went up to her room, ignoring the probably worse stares they were getting from her adoptive parents. Almost as soon as they entered her room, she threw herself on her bed and cried more, thanking him almost inaudibly. He felt like he should leave, since the goal was so that she could let it out without being watched, but she reached out to him as he got up.

"You- were there back then. You know who I was."

"I always have, Kotomi. You haven't changed as much as you'd like to think." She giggled softly.

"I hope I can tell you at some point what it all means to me. I hope at some point I figure out what it all means." She wiped her tears away. "For now, just... please work on your relationship with your father."

"I'll talk to him," he said, having done so a few times already. "I'll... make a real effort, actually, not just when I feel like it."

On his way downstairs and out, he asked Mungle how he could contact him again and received a business card. _Weird. Could've sworn he said he was retired._

He walked home.

It was dark when he arrived, but his father was there and they had a short conversation. His father remembered they used to live next to a girl whose parents were not home all the time, and that he used to go over to see her, but those were happier days. It was hard for him to remember them without being sad. He went up to his room trying to think about what the old man used to be like in those days, but really it was like comparing entirely different people. It felt like, growing up he had a father who was at least forty percent alcohol by volume, even if that was mostly on the weekends. He actually had a relatively generous allowance starting when he took up basketball, though that might have been his father's way of separating himself from his money, and the temptation it brought with it.

Thinking of his father made him think of Kinoshita, who might well be in a gutter already, since they failed to secure the territory he needed to get home, but there was nothing he could do about it from his bed. He would just have to come whenever Miyazawa called and hope to not get beaten half to death again. It seemed unlikely he could get Mungle to come back, though he would make an effort. Still a little sore from some of the harder hits, he at last went to sleep.

He was at an airport, though he had no idea why he was there. As far as he knew, he had never been to one before and he had no plans to go anywhere, so he reasoned he was waiting for someone. Tomoya waited for this odd version of himself to do something, but it was going to be a while, apparently.

Hearing the sound of a plane landing, the future version of himself was not inspired with any great hurry. _Must know it's another thirty minutes at least before anyone gets off- wait... how do I know that?_

Eventually he stood around by the baggage claim and grabbed a neutral-looking case that looked like most all of them, except with a pink bead tied to the zipper. _I must have been told to recognize the bag by the decoration. Where have I-_ The obvious came to him. He was waiting for Kotomi.

When she appeared he was pleasantly surprised to see she had been doing well, but it seemed the future version of himself did not particularly notice. She no longer wore the pink beads in her hair, and she looked more like an adult in every other way, but it was still easy to pick her out of a crowd. Finding him and seeing him carry her stuff outside, she came and thanked him for picking her up.

"It's fine. I don't have anything to do these days," he muttered. Not for the first time, Tomoya wondered if it was really the same version of himself, but it seemed like the same guy from the last two visions. They walked out of the airport to a car he might have borrowed, since it was not really his style. "Sakagami let me have it for the weekend. Seems to think I need to get out more."

"I heard about..."

"I'm over it. I just kind of drink now. Ended up like my dad; who could've guessed." They got in the car. "Well, I guess there's one thing I don't have in common with him."

"Are you sure you're good to drive?" Kotomi asked.

"It's fine; I drove here. I started making payments on a house so I can get away from the other tenants, so I haven't had a drink in days. Don't think anyone would've lent me the keys otherwise."

"Oh, well... that's good. I'm pretty tired after the flight and the time zone change," she explained. Somewhere in the back of his mind it was common courtesy to pick a friend up from the airport, but he was glad to be thanked. "Have you ever thought about picking up and moving? Maybe a change of scene is what you need."

"I mean, I could ask where else they speak Japanese." He swerved to avoid a bike that signaled improperly. "It really doesn't matter, though. Just when I wanted things to stop changing, they changed again."

Nothing was said for a moment. He got to an intersection where he usually just stopped, using the curved mirror opposite him to see the other cars coming. _When did I learn to drive?_ Pulling thought, his friend shifted in the back seat.

"That sounds really frustrating," Kotomi said at length. "I spent most of my life wanting things to go back to the way they were, and because I was always looking at it like that, I never appreciated what was in front of me." _Must be reminding me about her foster parents._ "I don't think you're really a bad man, Tomoya, I think bad things just happen to you because you take responsibility for everything. You wouldn't have been injured in that fight if you decided it wasn't your problem. You wouldn't have hurt Kyou's feelings if you had just run off or avoided the matter. You told her how it was, even if it was several years too late."

"You haven't been here in a while," he stated. "I'm not that good of a guy. I used to help people because I didn't have anything better to do. As it is, I'm actually kind of the same. I don't want to get into everything I've done."

It was a quiet ride until they stopped at her old house. No older couple could be seen as he walked in, though his future self did not seem too surprised. _Are they..._ He looked over.

"How was the trip?" he asked.

"It was great, actually. I finished my education and now I have a doctorate. I could work anywhere, but I think I'll go back to California soon." _She's doing that thing where she's trying to be more positive so that I'll think positive. Well, it didn't work with Yoshino-sensei... or Ryou._ He wanted to kick something, but was quite incapable of controlling this particular version of himself.

"Did you meet someone there?"

"I did, actually. I hope no one here is jealous."

"I never really-"

"I know. I wanted you to have something you didn't regret." There was a pause. "I know you didn't just help people because you had nothing better to do. When you were helping with the drama club, you were putting way more effort into it than you ever put into school."

"Not a high bar-"

"You cared for other people. When you managed to help people, that mattered to you. I never said anything, but I could see it. When you helped me, you were happy because I was happy." She pulled the stuffed bear out of her bag. "Thanks to you, I received my last birthday present from my parents. Everything I have today, I feel like I owe you."

"That was the old man-"

"He was carrying the briefcase, but it was more than that. I never again felt like I had abandoned them or they had abandoned me. I was set free from so much guilt-"

"Well maybe if your parents wanted to take planes all the time and go around the world-"

"Will you just listen to me? I just want to help you."

"No, I think I know what happened here."

He walked out.

Tomoya drew breath quickly, his muscles jerking to where he nearly fell out of bed. The last thing he remembered was the briefest sight of three bright lights. Digging through his school things, almost refusing to get his bearings, he started to scratch down everything that happened from beginning to end; everything that was said or done. Checking the clock, he still had some time to get to school as he finished up, but it would not matter too much if he turned up a bit late. _This is more important than anything we've ever covered in my first class. If I had to skip the whole thing just to write this down, I would._

It was not so much a matter of wanting to remember the nightmare world he or some version of himself had created; more than anything else he wanted it to stop; he wanted to get off the ride. To do this he needed to have some idea of whether his actions were changing things about the visions, or if they were from an entirely separate timeline and there was nothing he could do about them. He finished writing and shoved everything in his bag. _I hope I have everything. I can't afford to forget one tiny detail about this._

According to some alternate Kotomi, there was a point where he got into a fight and injured himself. If he managed to avoid injury for ten years straight, then that future that he saw was not necessarily his future; he could know for a fact that it was not determined. _But how could it be anything else? How could she have had the bear if I didn't take her home from school or something?_ He shook his head. _I have to look at this in a simpler way. If I learned exactly what was going to happen tomorrow, or even if I just learned a few things, or had some idea, wouldn't my actions be different than they were originally? What if this is really the first time, though? What if the whole time I knew that I was going to hurt my friends?_

On that happy thought, he arrived at school. _I must've been fast-walking out of stress. That's probably a damn sight to see for anyone who knows how I usually am._ Sitting down in class, an unpleasant notion occurred to him. There was an obvious way out of his current predicament, and that was doing nothing. He could easily wrap up his current commitments and then not start on any more projects, graduate, find a job, and just sort of go on living like that.

_I guess it's what I was doing before. There would probably be some people let down because of that, but... what can you do? If the alternative is worse, wouldn't it be better to stop somewhere?_

The teacher called on him, perhaps to see if he had been paying attention, and he was able to answer the question, but only because he had been studying with Kotomi. He imagined that his expression was concerning the people around him, and he tried to calm down, not for the first time, but he could not bring himself to meet Ryou's eyes. _It's okay; I'll be out of school pretty soon. I just have to finish up what I was doing, then I can graduate._

Absently taking notes on the review material, he reminded himself that getting other people to do things made him equally responsible for the results. Really, even if he left everyone to their own devices, he would be responsible because he could have helped. Inaction was not the end-all-be-all of responsibility; he learned that much from his father. _I have to go about this carefully. After I'm done with the current things, I'll graduate and get out of town or something._

His first class ended and Miyazawa passed by the room. _She wants to speak with me. Well, she can wait until the day's over. If we're fighting today, I still have to tell Sakagami._ If it turned out as they suspected, and it was a small number of people in a fight, which would make sense if both sides had injured fighters, then the new president of the student council would mop the floor with them. There was no reason to believe the Sasaki gang had stronger fighters up its sleeves.

Powering through his next few classes, he told Sunohara at some point about how Kotomi would no longer need to be walked home, since she had been introduced to her own stalker. He explained a bit about Mungle and what he had been doing.

"I don't know, maybe I'll keep walking her home," his friend thought aloud. "I didn't mind it too much."

"You've still got to talk to Mitsurugi."

"I did, yesterday. He's at school now." _Well, that's better. I might have to blow off Kyou, though._ The more he thought about it, the better of an idea it seemed to be. He knew he would be thinking of the vision if he went out and had lunch with her, and it was none too suspicious to say that he couldn't see her. Getting up as one class ended, he found her in her usual room and said that he had to skip lunch. She nodded, but said nothing. _Probably doesn't really want to give it away that she's going on a date with me. If anyone knows that, she really wouldn't want to telegraph her disappointment for having to miss today._ He set about going back. _No, I might be going too far with it. There's no reason not to believe that one day just isn't a big deal._

_Now I just have to figure out what the hell to tell Mitsurugi._


	39. Fighting

Lunch on the roof was less than fun. He had a thought that anyone who wanted to be alone could get to the roof whenever, and somehow it worked, somehow there were never more than two people in the whole school on the roof at any given time. _Well, if it didn't work as a place to be alone, the loners would probably go someplace else._ While he was wasting time, he decided that there might have been some unspoken rule to leave them to their solitude.

"Why didn't you tell me Sunohara was a guy?" Mitsurugi asked. _He knows why I told him in the first place, because I was trying to get him out of getting beaten, so now he wants to know whey I didn't give it up at some point._

"It's a couple different things. In the beginning, I kind of thought it was a matter of time before you figured it out. I told myself I wouldn't have a lot of sympathy if you never did." He looked over, seeing no apparent reaction. "I don't think Sunohara gave a damn." _It's probably better to say that than to say what he told me._ "I figure if I told you, you would probably keep the breakup quiet, but since you going out with him was giving him points in the election, if I gave away his trick, he would lose points and that would be cheating." Nothing was said for a moment.

"Well, I guess that's fine, since he won. I'm pretty sure most people were fooled." He hung his head. "Thing is, they don't act like they were. My friends tell me that even if they were all fooled, I don't have an excuse, and I don't. I think I was fooling myself."

"That happens," Tomoya said, nodding. "You've got something you want to believe, so you look for ways to keep believing it. Don't worry about what people are saying about you; you'll never see these little shits again." It was an odd turn of phrase, but he guessed he could have gotten it from a memory, or at least the attitude about high school students that fueled it. _Maybe if I don't want to be a bitter man, I should try to get a head start._

"Well, you can't help but believe it sometimes. Some of them are saying I knew all along and it wasn't that I was telling myself Sunohara was a girl, but that I couldn't be sure."

"How do they know what you're telling yourself?"

"They don't. It was just a good guess."

"So you don't mind dudes, then?"

"I don't know. I don't really want to like other dudes. I don't want someone to find out that this was how I learned it, but I can't think of any other reason I would've liked that guy unless I did like dudes. Somehow the fact that he really did have me fooled the whole time makes it ten times worse." He sighed. "I don't normally talk about my problems, but somehow I got the sense you wouldn't go on about it."

"It's not really that funny to me. It's kind of like a joke that got ruined by the timing, or just because you refused to laugh at it. There are limits to my sense of humor. Just so you know, you don't have to tell anyone you like guys when you get out of here, if you're lucky enough to go both ways."

"Limits to my sense of humor," Mitsurugi echoed. "I like that." He had thought about it himself, since there were a couple times when it seemed like he was the butt of some kind of joke, whether by the intent of anyone else or not. Perhaps he would like to say that he could just totally remove himself from everything and laugh at whatever he would normally find funny, were it happening to someone else, but that was not even close to the truth. If he or someone about whom he cared were the subject, it really would not matter how well-timed or clever it was, it would only make him angry. "What would you do?" the rugby player asked unexpectedly.

"I couldn't tell you. I'm not some kind of authority on this subject. You could start hanging out with the Miyazawa gang, since they don't know anything."

Tomoya did not see Sakagami before returning to class, finding he was late anyway. He guessed she was hard at work with her studies, which fit the pattern. Getting back to work on his own, he thought to himself that his acquaintance could just want to get a win, and he had a suggestion if that turned out to be the case, but he could not just bring it up like that. _It would sound like the only reason I was out there was because I wanted his help with something._

He worked at it as hard as he could until school let out, which was when he went to the reference room. He had a nice chat with the keeper of the books over a cup of coffee, and as he left she told him the fight would be the following day. On a whim, he called the number on the business card he had from Mungle, but there was no answer. _The Sasaki gang must be trying to catch us off-guard with these quick deadlines. The last time we used the time and place of battle to our advantage._

Going up to the student council meeting room, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the future president. _I'll just wait for her to get out of the briefing. I don't have anything else to do for this exact minute._ He got out a book on mathematics and turned to the section on integrals, because he could have sworn he missed something earlier in the year. He got the logic of it going one way, but somehow it seemed much harder to reverse derivation.

At long last she came out.

"Hi, Okazaki," she said, perhaps within earshot of someone else. "They told me about my responsibilities as president next year, but I really already know them."

"I hate to ask you, but could you come to the fight tomorrow? It's just five on five, so we should be able to wrap this up this time." Sakagami seemed to deeply consider this. She was not laconic like Mitsurugi, but she was not terribly verbose either.

"If they're doing it like that, despite having more numbers, they must be confident they're going to win. They will probably bring five people with guns."

"How would they get them?"

"How did your friend get one?" The question could serve as a rhetorical question, but it sounded like a real one.

"I think he's an American, and he is or he used to be part of some kind of research group that goes all around the world. He would have bought the gun at home, and come here in a private plane or ship. It's not easy, but it's probably not impossible." He did not bring up his earlier theory that the gentleman could have picked the weapon off someone in the Sasaki gang, because if they could get guns they would have, unless there was some kind of unspoken rule against using them, which would make little sense in an 'anything goes' street fight. _I guess most gangs assume that most other gangs don't have them, and they sort of rule it out as a possibility. I doubt the seven guys we trapped in the warehouse would have charged at us if they knew Mungle had a gun in advance._

"I see. You don't think there's any way the other gang could get ahold of guns?"

"There might be. The yakuza have them, but I don't know of any reason they would let the Sasaki gang have them. They're trying to prove themselves, and I can't see them asking for help, especially now. We should definitely take that chance into consideration." _I'll have to mention it to Miyazawa._ "Can we count on you to help?"

Unexpectedly, she hung her head.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "If you don't have time now, I guess- was I not supposed to ask this in the first place?"

Sakagami shook her head.

"No... it's just... now that I think about it, I can't do it."

"What?"

"When I was a kid, I trained in Karate until I could beat most other kids, then longer just to be sure. When I started out at street fights, I only took on kids my age, and only one at a time." _She did say something about this before._ "I don't even want to think about dodging bullets at close range. I know it isn't certain that we would go up against five guys with guns, but I can't commit to joining you if that could happen." She looked back at the floor. "I really don't think you should do it either."

_Dying would mean not getting to do anything she wanted to do in life, and never seeing her family again. I can't ask her to go up against that chance, not after everything else. Really, even if she didn't have any kind of reason, I couldn't ask her._

"I understand. I can't ask you to risk your life like that. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't think Miyazawa would agree to it if the other guys were allowed to bring guns but I guess she didn't have to agree to it last time. We just broke an unspoken rule." He almost wanted to be annoyed at Mungle, but they really would have lost if he had not shown up. Being stuck in a warehouse was not going to hold seven guys for long when the whole fight was on the line. _There has to be someone else I can ask... well, that's the downside of most of your friends being girls, I guess. Mitsurugi might say yes, but I'll have to ask him tomorrow._

On his way home he ran into Yu, remembering he had played a substantial role in their victory last time. For some reason, he had a pair of binoculars.

"Are you out on patrol?" he asked, joking.

"Recon," the boy said, eyes sliding left and right. "I wouldn't go out on patrol without someone to watch my six." _He did seem like an 'impressionable youth' that time he explained why he started hanging out with the gang._

"Have you heard about the fight tomorrow?" he asked.

"Miyazawa's told me a good bit about it, actually." _She trusts him to keep his mouth shut. That's why she picked him and his friend to slam the warehouse door shut. Well, that and the fact they can't do anything else._ "We're going in prepared."

"Who are our guys?" he asked, hoping they were tougher than anyone he could ask for help. "Are weapons allowed?"

"One question at a time; this isn't a debriefing. We've got at least three guys already- Sudou was just knocked out, so when he woke up at 0600 he was fine. You wouldn't know the other troops. We've already told them we've got three of whatever they've got, so if they bring knives, we'll adjust the rules of engagement." _One of these guys might be a veteran of some sort- nah, probably some kind of officer program dropout._

"Well, thanks. I'll see you later, soldier," he responded, saluting. Somehow it was easy enough to talk to the kid. _Well, I never didn't like kids, I just don't want to have any._

At home he decided to talk to his father again, trying to be grateful he did not end up like Kotomi with both biological parents dead, but he guessed it was a 'greener grass' thing. Because he always had a father, but never liked him, he always saw it as unimportant if your parents were blood related to you, though his friend hung her hat on that because she wanted to be loyal to her real parents. _Maybe I should just ask him about it. He's apologized when he was drunk before, but I think he's sober now._ They were eating a bought supper, sitting on either side of the corner of a square table.

"Why did we get into a fight that day?" he asked. All of a sudden it was quiet. He felt like he had to continue. "It really hurt my arm. I don't even remember why were fighting."

"I don't remember either, Tomoya," his father said quietly. "I might have been drinking, or I might have forgotten for some other reason." If he had been expecting something to happen, he would have been disappointed. _Well, at least I said something. What am I trying to accomplish?_ "Sometimes I wonder if that was why you quit basketball."

"Well, yeah," he responded, not having expected it.

"I think I remember telling you that I tried as hard as I could, and I was trying to support you with basketball, but you had to focus on school." He shook his head slowly. "I don't know why I was trying to put my foot down like that. I should have known it would not work."

He pursed his lips. By the plan 'not working', his father must have meant that in his attempt to get him to care about school, he quit basketball and started doing even worse in school. _I can't run away._

"Dad, I didn't quit basketball because you lectured me, or because I wanted to prove I could make my own decisions. I quit because I was injured, and now I'm basically disabled. When you hit me once, I think I landed on the stairs, and I screamed, and ran up the stairs. I was so mad I didn't come out for hours, even though I was hurting." He sighed. "It wouldn't have been that bad if I had seen a doctor about it. I think I just never said anything out of spite." He hung his head.

Nothing was said for a moment. It was out there, and sooner or later they would get over it. Perhaps it would take another unpleasant conversation, but he could envision that they would get past their differences if they both apologized. _He has to know why he's apologizing. Well, that and I have to survive this fight coming up._

"Has Kinoshita been in the office lately?" he asked, changing the subject.

"He has. He told me he's worried about something, and he swears someone is trying to pin something on him."

"He's asked you to cover his shift again, hasn't he?"

"I can't tell you how many times I've signed his name on forms. I don't mind doing it, but I sometimes think he's trying to get out of something."

Tomoya leaned back, thinking about it. _This isn't the first time there's been something suspicious about this whole thing. If Kinoshita really was up to something, Miyazawa wouldn't be sticking her neck out for him, at least not if she knew._ He looked up at the clock on the wall. _Even if he's innocent, though, I can't see a street gang going so far to protect someone. Why did that make sense in the first place?_

Heading up to his room, he knew he needed to get the whole story out of the self-appointed reference room girl if he were to make an informed decision. _Why is she hiding things from me? She said at one point that I should back out rather than get involved any further. What if she said that to keep me from realizing she was not telling the whole truth?_

He shook his head. He needed sleep, one way or the other, and he was not a stranger to the concept of trust between friends. It was easy with Sunohara, who was a lazy idiot most of the time, and it was doable with most of the girls, but Miyazawa was asking a lot by nature. _She's never explicitly lied to me, she's just withheld things, like the plan with the warehouse. At that time, she was acting like Sakagami and I were the only ones she could trust, but it really came down to Yu and his friend._

What he wanted to know more than anything else is if the girl who believed in magic and loved the forgotten books of the second library was ever real. Had she been an eccentric character who served as a cover story? Had she been a voyeuristic foray into the lives of normal high school students?

 _At the very least I hope I don't get a damn dream about her._ The most recent one had been enough for him to put together that he unlocked memories from his future about people whom he helped. Kotomi and Ryou were both doing well, and Fuko was at least awake in the future, but he could only imagine Miyazawa would meet some terrible fate, a violent end with a burial to match. Whenever he was around her, the flashes of memory he would get were infrequent, and mostly did not concern her.

He decided to hope instead that he would see something in the next dream that he would see something that would distinguish that world as an alternate timeline, as opposed to the inevitable conclusion of his current reality.


	40. Gang Leaders

Going to school the following morning, he found himself hoping not to be expelled for approximately the third time that week. The finals were coming up, he knew, and he felt a little more prepared for them since studying with Kotomi, so it would be a real shame not to do well on them. He ran into Mitsurugi on his way into the building and asked him if he'd like to be in a fight, and unexpectedly he said yes. Tomoya told him it would be dangerous, and he had been half joking, but he repeated the same answer.

"Being honest, Okazaki, I was half-worried it wouldn't be."

Trying to make sense of the sentiment as he sat down in class, he noticed Sunohara was late again, but that was par for the course. Apart from his parents, he had no reason to be in school, since he had learned little and would most likely not score well on the exams. There was some doubt he would graduate, actually. _Nagisa definitely won't._ It felt like a memory, but the notion was inarguable anyway. As bad as he felt for her, she definitely did not have the credits to graduate, even if she were well enough by the time the graduation ceremony rolled around.

_Well, at least she doesn't have any other problems. It would actually probably be a little nicer to hang out at her house, where there isn't anything from my visions. Furukawa probably goes off to live somewhere she doesn't have to worry about whatever she has flaring up in the winter. There are places that basically don't have winter, I think._

He paid attention in class and decided that if he had a spare minute sometime soon, he could go visit her. He was assuming he would not die in the gang fight, but he felt good about that. It was unlikely the yakuza would just hand out guns, and without them, the things were in their favor, unless the Sasaki gang had something else up its sleeve. _They did have a surprising amount of people last time... we can't assume they won't bring some kind of advantage to the table._ At the same time, if he died, it would mean the future he saw would never come about. Nothing he had done would have contributed to whatever calamity must have happened.

After his first class, he swallowed and asked Ryou if she had seen her sister, and she said that yes, she was at school today. _That's good. At least I don't have other lunch plans. I'll just have to be meeting Mitsurugi and Miyazawa after school gets out._ Getting his work done in the next class, he felt the studying paying off as he found himself able to focus on time consuming work as the teacher went over things he had studied with Kotomi. For some reason, he felt a resistance to going back to her house, since he had seen her in a vision. It was silly, perhaps, but he hated the idea that in the future, she cared about him more than he cared about her or himself. It was the kind of thing that made him want to be around her less. It seemed easier that way.

In the class before lunch Sunohara finally showed up, and he whispered about how the dorm mother was apparently missing. _Well, I'm not responsible for her._ His friend seemed more concerned, but he did depend on her for laundry and supper, so that was fair with the constraint that he was not going to learn how to take care of either of those before she returned.

"I'll ask someone who might know," he said, remembering that Yoshino-sensei was about her age. He did not really want to go see her, because even thinking about it it made him think about the vision with Fuko, but that was one of the milder ones. _It actually makes me wonder what my job was in that timeline. Maybe I could choose a different job, and that would prove it was a different one._ It occurred to him that he would have to wait to see if the dreams changed every time he changed his future, but for the moment they seemed like they all came from the same timeline. It was hard to believe the same calamity could have occurred every time even if changes were made in the past, because whatever happened seemed to have hit him worse than anyone else.

Kyou had prepared a sesame seared tuna, which was good, but took his thoughts to his main concern again. _I might as well tell her. If the Sasaki gang kills me, it'll be the last time I ever see her._

"I've had a look at my career options, and I don't think I can provide you with the kind of life you're used to." It came out in substantially less time than he had spent worrying about it. "I feel a bit bad about going out with you." The girl across from him took a moment to respond.

"Well, that's thinking about the future more than you usually do."

"The future's been on my mind."

"Well, I've thought about it, and you would probably be limited in your use as a husband," Fujibayashi said in a matter-of-fact way. "You can't drive, you won't bring home lot of money, and you probably won't impress my friends." _I can't tell if she's taking pains to insult me or just telling it like it is._

"Okay, then why do you like me?"

"I'm not telling you that. You'll get your head all puffed up." She huffed. "For the record, though, I don't have any brothers, so Ryou and I are in line to inherit the whole thing. Really, I never thought about money." She put her index finger to her lower lip. "My parents... well, they didn't raise us like we think most girls were raised." _Well, with your sister you could actually have fooled me._

"You weren't raised to look for husbands?" he asked. _Wasn't aware most girls were raised like that._

"Well, it's subtler than that. Most girls grow up with an emphasis of... being nice," she said. Tomoya understood that the reason it seemed like an uncomfortable notion was that she was confessing to not being nice. "Generally, if you're sensitive to people's feelings, people will like you and you will get along with them easily. Without being raised to be nice and considerate, most girls would have a hard time getting along with guys because of their differences. It's kind of like how you were probably brought up not to hit girls, not because you're naturally an abuser, but because, well, most girls would get hurt easily if you played rough like you did with your friends."

"So you predicted that you were going to have a hard time getting along with guys?" he asked. "You thought you'd say something that would offend them?" _Wherever could you possibly get that idea?_

"I was basically certain of it. I think I always felt that if I ever got a guy to like me, that it would be someone who was just totally numb to abuse, but a man like that would be cold, and well... he wouldn't be what I needed." _She's making herself be honest with me because she's usually a strong type who never shows what she's feeling._ They started to pack up lunch. _Well, I guess she could also feel totally exposed to me since I guessed that she liked me. Maybe at this point, transparency is the only game in town._

He thanked her for the lunch and they went back to class. He was starting to feel like he really did like her, or at least, he could, since she was a surprisingly interesting girl under the surface, and he doubted she ever said mean things out of a desire to hurt. More than anything else, he felt like she was trying so hard that there could not be any doubt she liked him. _But why is that? She seemed to imply that I could take the abuse. If she was worried, though, that I would be unfeeling... maybe what I was doing to help Sunohara is what changed her mind._

In class the teacher shot him a few suspicious looks every time he answered a question, which was becoming a regular occurrence. He did his best to answer everything in a neutral tone, but not look like he had caught on to the fact they thought he was cheating somehow. _If I can answer questions in class, the fact that I'm suddenly getting good marks on my assignments shouldn't raise too many red flags._ In all possible fairness, if someone had told him six months ago that he would be doing well in classes, he would have suspected academic dishonesty as well. _I shouldn't go out of my way to prove my innocence because that would tell them that I know. I should just behave like a regular good student until the end of the year and they'll figure out that I really just got my act together._

Hoping he managed to keep up the act through the end of the day, nothing else of interest happened until he went outside to meet Mitsurugi and Miyazawa, who seemed to have met each other before. He had given the rugby player a cursory explanation of everything that had gone on, but it was a lot of details all at once, so it basically just went over his head. They walked in silence until they got to a beef bowl place, where the rest of the gang could be found. _She doesn't trust the Sasaki gang, so she's bringing everyone- though I guess she could just be disguising which ones she's using as fighters._ Looking around the restaurant, he doubted he would be more than moral support. Most of the gang members who were still up and kicking were substantially more tough-looking than he was, to the increasing nervousness of the staff, who were mostly teenage girls in frilly costume.

"Wait a minute, Sugisaka?" he asked. She nearly jumped out of her skin. It appeared she was tempted to slink away, and for no other reason he was inclined to let her go, but Miyazawa wanted to see her too and he decided he might as well have a little fun with it. "Are we paying for our further learning?" he asked.

"For your information-" she started, whipping around. Freezing as she caught the older woman behind the counter eyeing her, she adjusted her tone. "I applied to an establishment further out of the way, where I would not be disturbed by troublemakers from Hikarizaka, but somehow, it got out that my... demeanor... was not what they wanted for their family-style environment."

"Oh, that's too bad," the gang leader said, appearing to sympathize. As far as he could tell, the choir girl was highly committed, so it did not surprise him to find her working already, even if she was a bit embarrassed by the terms of her employment. Her reputation of having an acid tongue was mostly exaggerated, she just had an assertiveness to her such that she mostly got her way, which seemed to be vitally important to her. _I want to see what happens when she has a disagreement with someone nice for a change._ He knew she valued Nishina, but he had forgotten what their whole deal was. _They definitely got the choir club like they wanted._

"Well, if there's anything else you want, don't-" She looked around again. "-hesitate to ask."

They finished their meal and left.

The fight was taking place at the warehouse again, which made sense, as the police never showed up the last time, most likely because they were never called. The other gang was already there this time, though they only brought a few extra men. _What's their play here? Did they really just bring a ton of guns to shoot us?_

"This time there will be no intervention," Someone from Sasaki's gang announced. Tomoya was not quite certain if he meant there had been intervention last time or if they were counting Mungle as an enemy. "The rest of us will make sure that the rules are followed and no one enters or leaves. We stand in a circle around the fighters." It was like a childhood brawl, except everyone seemed perfectly serious. Mitsurugi was among their fighters, which was no surprise, but he could not name the other three besides the rugby player and Sudou, who was one of the strongest members of the Miyazawa gang.

On the other side, there were a handful of guys he had seen before, one with a bruise over his left eye, but their leader himself was not fighting. _He was supposed to be good... is that some kind of unspoken rule, that the leaders aren't supposed to be fighting?_ One of their guys had an uneasy look on his face, though it was clear he was trying to hide it. _He's not afraid of our guys... he would be looking at them._

"What happens if the fighters attack one of us?" Yu asked.

"Then that particular fighter would be eliminated," Sasaki answered. _I guess we're not presuming the leaders have that much control over their members, then._ The answer he had expected was that the entire team would lose. _Wait a minute..._

He looked around, thinking that it was a plot to just attack Miyazawa and take her hostage, sacrificing one fighter in the process, but he could not see Yukine anywhere. For a moment he thought they were flirting with a rule violation about how each leader had to be there, but then he saw someone else entirely. The man had never been described to him, but from the way he carried himself, if nothing else, he instantly recognized one of the young men in the back as Kazuto. He was looking on as though he could not care less to be there.

The fighting started before Tomoya could figure out what was going on. _He's supposed to be dead- a minute ago I was almost certain he was dead- is that why that guy was looking so nervous, because he's afraid of Kazuto? Is that why Sasaki isn't participating, because if the leaders both fought, Kazuto would win?_ Almost immediately, Mitsurugi punched one of the other guys in the head, using his unexpected speed to his advantage. _Rugby players aren't trained to fight, but they are trained to move. I think he mentioned having a fight with these guys before._

The guy he hit was reeling, but not out for the count. By contrast, the nervous guy was already trying to break and run. His own gang would not let him out, so he threw a punch at one of them, and they dragged him out and beat him. _Well, that'll tie up some of their guys for a bit._ One of their other guys was having better luck, taking out a Miyazawa man with a few kicks to the head and neck. It did not seem like anyone had weapons until one of them pulled out a knife and stabbed a guy right in front of Yu, who looked like he wanted to turn away. _He shouldn't be watching this- he really shouldn't even be here-_

He wanted to shout at Kazuto, but it made no sense to start objecting to it now. _I should have known the whole time- and how do I know that's really Kazuto if I never met the guy? Wasn't he supposed to be dead?_ The fighters interrupted his thoughts as one of their guys was losing blood and having to put pressure on it, while getting beaten by the Sasaki guy who was good at kicking. Silently he doubted the knife would have been any problem for Sakagami, but it was possible that being in such close quarters would put her at a disadvantage. _Their guys could have come up with these rules where we have to surround the fighters for that very reason. Well, we didn't bring her, so it doesn't matter._ He could hardly blame her for not trusting violent street gangs to play by their own rules, but he had a sense that they mostly would.

One of the Miyazawa guys was taken out by two fighters from the other team, but it gave Sudou an opening to throw one of their guys from the ring. They had not discussed this, but it seemed like a good enough reason to disqualify him. _By the numbers, we're winning, but one of our guys is already bleeding out and Mitsurugi's taken a beating as well._ The kicker from before jumped over an attack and planted his foot on Sudou's knee, knocking it out from under him with a painful sound.

All around Kazuto there were gang members directing questions of legality his way, but he waved them off, watching the fight intently. As Tomoya turned back, there was an elimination on either side, with the bleeding guy quitting and one of the other guys getting knocked out. _It's two on three now...but Sudou's injured and Mitsurugi's never been in a fight this serious before._ They had ice on the wound as soon as the fighter left the ring, and sooner or later it would be another scar.

A sudden cracking sound turned him back to the kicker, who was breaking up a grappling match between the other two guys, giving his ally an advantage as the Miyazawa guy screamed in pain. The freed up ally threw several punches, the first three taken as though their target lacked the energy to dodge, but the last one collided with a man on the outside. _Pretty good trick, but it probably won't work twice._

That was about when he noticed Sasaki's expression, staring intently not at the fight, but at Kazuto.


	41. Personality

The remaining fighter on the Sasaki team looked like he was getting tired, which was more than fair, and he had three targets to attend, but he was taking care of them without too much trouble. He seemed to be going between them, giving each a kick before moving on. Mitsurugi could still stand, but he was in obvious agony. What surprised him most was the fact that everyone was just standing perfectly still and watching it happen. No one seemed inclined to intervene, to shout advice, or even look away; Yu was now staring along with the rest. _You've got to do something... we've come so far. It can't end like this..._

The one fighter in the ring whom he did not recognize grabbed onto the kicker's back right as he landed another blow on Sudou, who neither flinched nor cried aloud. With his strength flagging, the grappler could barely hold on, but his target only put up a token resistance. He seemed resolved to fight the rugby player with the weight on his back, but Mitsurugi had other plans. With what looked like the last of his strength he kicked the leg of the man coming after him, causing him to collapse under the weight. Sudou punched him from the ground until the fight was called. Tomoya's eyes widened as everyone seemed to immediately switch from caring about the results to their injured comrades, but he remembered there was actually a good bit of loyalty with the gangs. _No wonder they beat up that guy who deserted. He practically lost the fight for them._

When everyone who was injured was at least cleaned and wrapped up, there was more staring to be done. It seemed like most of the guys were staring at Sasaki, perhaps to avoid looking at the wounded, but his gaze had not left Kazuto.

"You're why we lost this," he said, breaking the silence.

"Then you admit you lost," Tomoya groaned. "Good. We're not doing this again."

"If you hadn't been here-"

"It doesn't matter," Sudo interjected from the ground. He was wounded, but still conscious. "Miyazawa is the leader of our gang. He has every right to be here and you know it. You weren't counting on it because you thought he was dead, and that was your mistake."

For several minutes it was as if each side were waiting for the other to leave, but they could not move the injured so easily. _We both have plenty of injured. We don't have all night, though. This guy looks lighter than some of the others-_ He crouched down.

"I'll lend you a shoulder if you tell me where you live," he offered. It looked like someone from Sasaki's side was doing the same for one of their wounded. _Good. We can all get out of here and this can be over._

"No, Okazaki, you're too far out of the way. You worry about your friend. You know where he lives, right?"

"Yeah." He looked over at Mitsurugi, who was sitting on a crate. He was bruised and bloody, but it was nothing lasting. _Doesn't really need the help walking, but if he took a hit to the head..._ Tomoya sat next to his friend, who seemed to be taking a breather, preferring to be silent for the moment. Someone from the other side had a stretcher or something like it, and it looked like they would be out first.

"That guy wasn't afraid of us," the rugby player whispered. "Something's weird about this."

"Huh. I've thought I've seen a couple weird things here and there." _Maybe he's noticing something I'm not because he hasn't had the chance to get used to everything as it is._ "What else was weird?"

"That guy, Miyazawa. Where did his sister go? I wouldn't take a girl here either, but was she only there to lead us to the restaurant?"

"I could have sworn she ate there with us... then we followed the crowd to the warehouse."

"I was following you."

"Well, you did Hikarizaka proud back there. You don't think they threw it?"

"There was something else wrong with that. It was like there was a last-minute substitution." _That's right. Sasaki didn't want either of the leaders to fight, because he knew he would lose._

"Well, we can stick around a bit and ask... Miyazawa when they're done getting everyone out of the way." Looking over, it seemed that Kazuto was being quite attentive with Sudou's injury. Tomoya doubted the foot was broken, but he was practically fussing over it. _I guess he wants his guys in good shape. Seems hypocritical, since he's supposed to be dead._ He looked up, though not because he was interested in any of the light fixtures. _Why is it that I trust my visions more than what I see in front of me?_

Eventually all the other guys had left, and it was just the four of them. Miyazawa took off his boots and Mitsurugi started to shake his head in perfect incredulity. _I'm not seeing it._

"What?"

"I'm such a dumbass."

"What?"

"You're friend's been with us the whole time," he said, pointing back to the gang leader, who no longer had a hat that cast a shadow over her face. _Yukine. It was Yukine the whole time._ "I can't believe I've been fooled like that twice."

"Well, everyone else was fooled. You didn't start getting attracted though, did you?"

"No." Tomoya got up and started walking over. "Thanks. I didn't think about it like that."

"Don't mention it."

He wondered if Sudou had been in on the plan, since he seemed to be a close confidant, but if he had been, he was acting shocked. Miyazawa had been using the boots to make herself look substantially taller, and she wore a blue coat that covered most of her body. Standing far enough away, with dark glasses on, it was easy enough to mistake one for the other, or so he assumed.

"I guess your brother couldn't make it?" he asked.

"Umm... no. He's..." She looked over at her friend, who nodded. "He actually died. Most people don't know, but, well, Sudou receives my orders directly, and he figured out that they weren't coming from someone else. It made things easier."

"Does anyone else know?" he asked, somewhat uselessly.

"I think someone might suspect, but we never told anyone. Sasaki does; I know that much. He thinks that if Kazuto had been alive in the last few months, he would have been there. Tomoya sighed. He doubted the other gang would contest the results just because they were intimidated.

"What about that guy? Why did he run off?" Miyazawa looked to her friend and back.

"Get it open."

Sudou nodded, fetching a crowbar from elsewhere in the room while hobbling. He came to a crate not unlike the one where Mitsurugi was resting, rotated it, and pried up enough of the boards for one of the faces to fall off. _I hadn't noticed it was being held shut with just a couple of nails._ A girl tumbled out. Her fists were wrapped and she was unconscious.

"She's from the fight, isn't she?" he asked. "You took her prisoner and only told that guy. If everyone knew, they would be out looking for her everywhere, but you could make him join the fight and then run off immediately." He scowled. "What did you tell him you would do to her if he didn't go along with your plans?"

There was a pause.

"Okazaki, you know what they would have done to me, right?" she asked, stepping back into her usual voice. "This girl would not have had a problem with it. She knew that she would be partially responsible for whatever happened to their hostages after they won the fight, and she didn't join just to make sure their side would lose. The same thing could have happened to Sakagami."

"How does that matter? You could have killed her in there- it's been days since that fight."

"She hasn't been in there the whole time," Sudou said.

"That doesn't matter either- this is kidnapping. You don't think someone could just report you for that?"

"I have dirt on most of the guys from the Sasaki gang," Miyazawa explained. "If they call the cops, we call the cops, and everyone goes to jail."

"What if someone is going to jail anyway and rats you out? You don't think those guys ever get arrested for vandalism or trespassing? What happens then?"

"The rest of their gang still doesn't want to go to jail. They have people in prison to kill you if you talk and get a light sentence," Sudou explained. "I was in once a few years ago; I was just out of high school."

"Do you have anyone inside?" he asked. The guy just nodded rather than naming names. "Whatever. I'm going home." Leading Mitsurugi out, the rugby player almost went the wrong way twice. _They'll probably just turn the girl loose somewhere near her house with some drugs in her system. They would have found out where she lives some time in the last few days._

The streets were mostly empty on his way to the dorm and his friend was quiet.

"Feel better now?" he asked. _It'll give me an idea of how coherent he is right about now._

"I've been worse."

"Like when?"

"Yesterday." _Don't really have a response to that._ He walked under a darkened street lamp.

"I'm starting to suspect the Sasaki gang didn't really break those."

"What?"

"There's this guy, Kinoshita, and basically the yakuza want him for insider trading. I don't know whether he did it or not, but it's pretty suspicious. You'd think if he did it, they could have just made an anonymous tip to Financial Crimes. The guys we were fighting want to kidnap him to prove their worth to the big boys, but he walks home through contested territory. We decided to fight them over the area, and since it encompasses the area around the school, we managed to get Sakagami to help us the first time- there's no need to get into that, though. Anyway, they should hold up their deal now, since their leader is supposed to be an honorable guy. He loses the respect of his men if he doesn't go through with things."

"Did Miyazawa think they were breaking the lights so that they could get him in the dark?"

"That's what she told me. It's not really that important, since it's mostly over now." _I should be getting a dream about it this evening. I just don't know who it was that I helped._

Arriving at the dorm, he ran into Sagara, who helped him get his friend inside. He did not need help climbing the stairs so much as going the right direction. _Ha. Maybe I'll get Sunohara to walk him to school tomorrow._ He shook his head. _No, they'll be about as far away from each other as they can manage._

"Thanks," he said.

"It's not a problem. I don't like the way the other rugby guys were treating him, to be honest. I think he's a good role model for them." His eyes widened. "Not like that. He's not loud or rude, and he's always appreciative. I like being the 'dorm mother' around here because I... well, I like teenage guys." He pursed his lips. "Not like that. It's... it's kind of like how most teachers say that they're teachers because they like kids and kids are cute or something. I like teenage guys being energetic and fun and I like watching them be friends with each other. It doesn't really matter to me that I won't see most of them again, or that they'll grow up and be mature adults, because there will just be a new crowd next year."

"Huh. A friend of mine said something similar."

"Well, your friends are mostly girls, so that figures. Guys always want to hold onto things forever." She sighed. "Well, we're guilty of that a little here and there. If I could just see Igarashi again, just to see how he was doing..."

"Is he one of the guys who lived in this dorm?"

"Yes, but not when I was in charge of it. This was when I was a student." _Oh. So you might have actually liked this guy._ "I always thought he would turn out just fine, but sometimes a part of me just wants to see him for myself."

"Oh, so you can't get a minute away from the dorm to take care of that." She nodded. _It's literally a full time job. If she's not working for so much as eight hours, even during the weekends, someone's going to notice._ "Well, I can't cover your shift for you," he said, half-joking.

"I know."

They parted. He walked himself home, knowing it was too late already to visit Sunohara, which he usually got out of the way whenever he was at the dorm. Expecting to find his father asleep, if he found him, he caught sight of one of the yakuza guys, but made no particular sign of it. _Shit. Shit- if the Sasaki gang can't handle the job, who takes over for them? Who comes in and picks up the slack?_

Satisfied at last that Miyazawa either did not think things through or lied to him, he reached home and made an anonymous tip to the police about suspicious characters in the area. _They probably won't just arrest everyone there, but if the cops show up, it gets a little more dangerous for the yakuza to do their work. There are limits to what they can ignore._

He got ready for bed in short order, still pretty mad at his friend for leading him on like that, but he guessed he had never really known her. Deciding that the version of her that led her brother's gang was the real version, things started to make more sense. She went to school so she would still have something like a future, and if she kept her hands clean enough, maybe she really would. He expected she was grooming one of her members to be her replacement. At school, though, she would need a persona to keep people from asking questions, so she took up residence in an otherwise abandoned room and skipped class there some of the time, acting like an eccentric.

The following morning, he was almost disappointed by the fact that there was no depressing vision, but it probably meant that he was going to hear about how the gangs had not really resolved their conflict. Getting ready and leaving the house, he decided to swing by Furukawa bakery, where he saw Sanae and Akio outside, though the latter was crossing the street for the park. Sanae was talking with the older lady who lived next door. By the name on the property, he guessed her family name was Isogai.

"Are you friends?" he asked. It helped every so often to hear some good news, or at least it seemed that way.

"Yes, we've lived next to each other for years. At first we had our differences, but sooner or later we got along." Tomoya nodded. It was easy enough to see a relatively young couple not getting along with the older lady next door. Said lady waved goodbye and went back inside.

"Did something happen?"

"Well, shortly after we moved in, some kids hit a ball through our window and she called the police. We didn't think it was a big deal, since she must have heard glass breaking, and she thought she was in danger, but, well, that was not the last time. A few days later, our oven had a bit of a hiccup and she called them again. The next thing we knew, they were here asking about a gunshot."

His frown made it to his face. There was virtually no way the old lady had even heard a gunshot before, not in person, and in that neighborhood, he doubted there had been a robbery in decades. _She's doing an incredible job of staying positive about the whole thing._

"Did you ask her to stop calling the police over everything?"

"Oh, no, we couldn't bring ourselves to tell her to just sit there and be afraid. We just told her about a lot of the normal, expected noises and what they were most of the time. We made sure she would not overreact if she heard me screaming or crying." He chuckled. _That's Sanae, expecting to lose it every time someone doesn't like her bread._ "She ended up being a lot happier and a lot less afraid."

"That's good. I probably need to go to school now."

He waved goodbye and walked off. In truth, he had never liked it when people called the police over every little thing, even if they were scared, because the idea kind of presumed that the police were there to protect them, which was false. Generally speaking, the ones in his town were good at their job, which was investigating crimes and making arrests, but not being at the beck and call of everyone who heard a bump in the night. It was a mostly functional system, if it relied on the community to be considerate of its limitations.

At the gates he ran into Sakagami, who asked him how the fight went. She seemed relieved.

"Well, it was like I thought; the yakuza didn't just hand them guns, so we were fine. Mitsurugi helped and we ended up winning." She had a quizzical look. "If I helped, we probably would have lost. It ended up being really close, and we probably only won because of Miyazawa's tricks. I'm pretty sure it isn't over, though."

"Oh, well, you should probably start studying for exams," the president said. He wanted to tell her that he had been essentially studying for them, since he and Kotomi had been going through most of the year. "They're tomorrow."


	42. Getting Over It

The realization that they would be having their exams the following day hit him like a train. He had been studying, but he had not felt ready for anything resembling the finals, least of all the finals of his last year of high school, that would basically determine what kind of career he could have. Studying with Kotomi was something he had mostly done to catch up, rather than getting ahead, and there was an insane amount of influence with class ranking, meaning he would have to get ahead; average was not good enough. To make matters worse, he had not seen her in days, and he had not studied with her in longer than that. _Ever since the dream I've been basically avoiding her. It's not fair to her, it's not fair to anyone, really, but every time I see her I think of my future._

He shook his head. _If I want my future to be better, I'll need her help._

"Hey, Okazaki," Sunohara said.

"Yeah?"

"Mitsurugi's out today. He didn't show up."

"Well, he's got a lot to sleep off. I hope he's got plans for the finals tomorrow."

"The what?"

"Never mind."

Class went on as scheduled until he heard a knock on the door. _That'll be Miyazawa wanting to see me._ He sighed. _I really don't fucking want to go see her today, especially not if I have to miss lunch with Kyou._ He was somewhat touched that Sakagami would wait for him at the gate to see if he turned out okay, but he had not told the girl he was essentially dating, because she would not be able to do anything about it except worry about him, even though it turned out he was in no danger. _I should've seen that coming. If they were going to pick five guys for a fight, they weren't going to pick me. I've been in one real fight in my whole life, and I probably only have the malice to hit people for real because they pissed me off._

He did his best to keep up with the review, but at this stage of the game a few of his teachers seemed to be focusing on telling them to relax and have confidence that they will do well, that their scores were mostly determined at this point. There was no precedent for anyone coming back in a day, and there was really no precedent for someone turning their score around in a matter of months, which might have been a dig at him, but he ignored it. Acting like he knew he was being suspected of cheating was not actually something that made him more likely to be guilty, but for some reason that was what people thought.

If Sunohara took anything to heard about the lesson, it was that there was nothing he could do about changing his score now.

Outside at lunch, Kyou was asking about his studying plans, and he said he was going to go to see if Kotomi was available in the evening. They were familiar with each other's learning styles, and they had largely been going over the same things. By no means was he under the illusion he would have a remotely similar score, but she was probably still his best studying partner.

"Oh, I see. That makes sense." _She's doing it again._ Lunch was a multi-layered bento.

"Do you know Yoshino-sensei?" he asked, feeling like he had to ask something. "I feel like she might be able to tell you something about being a teacher."

"I met her at school when she came as a substitute, but I only properly talked to her at the wedding. It was a lot of work getting her ready." Tomoya nodded. He really knew nothing about it, but if a woman had one time in her life to go all out, she would probably schedule a few hours in advance. From what he could guess, there were unspoken rules about how the other girls would have to help them and tell them they were beautiful, and do their best to look jealous.

"Well, maybe you should go talk to her some time."

"What had you thinking about her?" Kyou asked, her eyes narrowing. _Well, I guess she's not entirely on her best behavior._

"Oh, I was actually talking to Sagara yesterday, because she helped me get Mitsurugi inside the dorm, and she said something about her school days, and Yoshino-sensei would be about the same age."

"She's the one who manages the boys' dorm? I've never been over there."

"Well, don't bother. I honestly couldn't tell you whether or not the rugby players have gotten back to beating up Sunohara."

"Why did they stop?"

"I told them he was only annoying them because he enjoyed getting beaten up." He started to pack up the lunch. "I ended up having to tell them that he liked the feeling of their big, meaty hands on him."

"I could beat him up for them. It wouldn't be too hard for me, and I don't have meaty hands." Tomoya breathed from his nose in lieu of laughing. He knew that she understood he had lied to Sunohara's roommates about his preferences, but she probably just wanted revenge for his embarrassing her a while ago, and then for winning the election, which was downright intolerable after she worked so hard to help Sakagami look better when speaking in public. _Well, she was already pretty, but she never put on makeup or wore anything but her uniform._

"I don't think you should indulge them that much. The guy's probably the world's biggest dumbass, and he's annoying and inconsiderate, but he's still my friend and I don't think he would really learn anything from getting beaten. It's never worked in the past and they're really just being children by attacking him out of anger rather than, I don't know, reporting him to the dorm mother. She doesn't seem to have any idea that he did anything to deserve getting hit; she thinks it's just the rugby players blowing off steam, and she's probably right. If they didn't hate him, they'd find someone else to pulverize." He paused. "I'm not talking about Mitsurugi; he's pretty decent."

"Did he ever get over dating a dude?"

"He's pretty much over it, I think. He needed a good fight and he got one." Kyou looked confused, but that was expected. As they parted and went back to class, he thought about it, and maybe he was looking at the relationship too pessimistically. _If she's willing to be on her best behavior to make it work, then why should I get upset about that? It sounds like she's really dead certain that she likes me._

Shaking his head and focusing on going over his notes, he ignored the rest of his teachers who were telling them it was all in stone already, that those who had studied and prepared the entire year would do well, and everyone else would not get in the way of their class ranking. _We'll see about that. I don't care if you suspect me of cheating, I'll do as well as I damn well please._ He pretended not to hear the reassurance for the rest of his classes, reading and going over his material. Perhaps everyone else would think he was putting on a show for them, the better to explain his scores later, but he was having a hard time caring. The teacher in his last class asked him to put his things away and he walked out. Class was perhaps not optional, but no one was going to stop him, not when they could be hearing or giving their all-important legend.

Half-hoping that the reference room would be empty so he could finish going through the book he had started that morning, he ran into Miyazawa.

"Do you hate me now?"

"I'm pretty pissed at you. Whatever happened to Kinoshita?" he asked.

"He'll be fine. The yakuza has been dishonored by the Sasaki gang. Sooner or later, they will be in the area to punish them for their failure."

"I think I've seen them already. I was approached by this guy- he called himself Ryu, but I don't know if that was his real name or not."

"He is a low level officer, essentially. He serves as the contact between street gangs and their masters." Tomoya imagined the man as something like a recruiter. _You don't want to get mixed up with him, though, especially not if he's valuable to the mob._

"Is he getting punished for recruiting the wrong people?" he asked.

"He will most likely just lose the job, but that is good enough for the Miyazawa gang, and good enough for me." She put her things away. "It's time for me to go. I have a few things to take care of, and if you do not want to help me with them, that is fine."

He wanted to ask her if she even knew whether Kinoshita was innocent or not, or if she had any reason to believe it, but he was starting to doubt that it mattered to her. In either case, he was going to find Kotomi. It occurred to him that she no longer waited for him at the gate, but she usually came from the new school building when she got there, so that would be the place to start. He caught sight of Nishina leaving early, and guessed that she was going to visit Furukawa, which he expected at this point. _I wish I could go with her._

It was something he had already gone over, but basically the advantage of visiting the bakery every so often was that the family had a way of keeping him from thinking of his visions. With their daughter's problems being entirely beyond his help, he knew he would not see her future, unless it was through some other memory, and he could do nothing about that. He felt bad about it, he felt like he was taking advantage of their happiness, but around her, it was as if he could never screw up that badly.

He found his friend and they set off to her house.

"How's your studying?" he asked. _Maybe if I just admit to not having seen her in a bit, she won't ask me about it._

"It's actually... well, I think I read everything my parents ever wrote about a hundred times." He remembered that the version of her he had seen in the vision did not so much as bring up the research notes, just the bear. _I guess I just thought about what it was, rather than what it represented._ "What do you have on your mind?"

"Oh, I was just..." _She already knows I want to study with her._ "I was kind of thinking about my parents, I guess. That whole conversation kind of reminds me of my own mother and father."

"How is your dad? Are you talking to him?"

"Yeah. I don't think either of us really want to go out of our way, but whenever we're home at the same time, we'll talk a little. I think I kept feeling like it wasn't enough, but I doubt most teenagers really talk to their parents that often. It's mostly just whatever's going on or some complaint you have. Having a good relationship with them... I don't know, I guess it means being able to take them for granted."

"Are you talking about Kyou?"

"I know she has a good relationship with her parents, but she rarely brings them up. I would guess her father at least is really busy and can't always have conversations with them."

"I saw Ryou at lunch today. I felt like talking to her and she told me about fortune-telling for some reason."

"Yeah, that's the one thing where she's really confident. She can steer conversations in that direction when she means to."

"I think it's good that she has something like that, but it kind of presumes that the future is already determined."

"She says that sometimes she's wrong." _It kind of makes it useless, but I guess even if she did want to believe it worked every time, it wouldn't._

"Well, that's because a component to it is her interpretation. When something doesn't go as she predicted, she blames herself rather than the concept of divination."

"You've got me there," Tomoya admitted. He found himself thinking of the first vision, which made him flinch. _Why would I ever do that?_

They arrived at the house, where his friend excused herself and asked him to wait in the sitting room. Her adoptive mother saw him and walked over quietly.

"Thank you." He knew why she was thanking him, mostly, since he knew that their daughter had been much happier recently. They had most likely heard about him from her, at least to the effect that he was not taking advantage of her.

"I feel like I didn't do anything," he said, glancing over at the window.

"That's how it feels sometimes," the old lady explained. "Sometimes you only need to do a little, and that's enough."

She was on her way out as Kotomi returned.

"How was your day, mom?" she asked. "Is dad home?"

"Your father is running an errand. Oh, don't worry about me, darling. I'm just doing my best to make sure you're prepared for the big world out there." She looked back. "I'm so happy you're finally getting along with boys."

"It's not like that..."

Tomoya felt like he should be happy for her, but in truth he could not help but be a little jealous of her for having a mother. _Well, a second mother. I only ever had one._

"I didn't know you two would be best friends so quickly," he said. The girl next to him started getting out her books and notes.

"Well, we always had a relationship that was... ninety percent of where it needed to be. I feel like I always loved her and my father, but I had to tell myself they weren't my parents. Being able to have these conversations... it's kind of like something that could have started any time, and they were just patiently waiting for me to... get through the loss of my parents. Sorry if that sounds weird."

"No, I think I get it. I think our circumstances might be...I don't know, more alike than we thought."

Neither of them wanted to talk more than necessary about having awkward conversations with parents, so they got to work. _Maybe that's because we both feel like we're just acting it out._ He sighed. They had a lot to go over, but fortunately it really was review, and not like earlier in the year where she had basically been teaching him things he had not bothered to study the first time.

"How are you going to write your essay for English?" she asked. They had a multiple choice test, as with every subject, but there was also a component of writing a short essay in the language. "I plan on writing mine about Robert Frost."

"That makes sense. I remember you said you liked him at one point. What was your favorite poem?" He remembered the one about paths diverging, and maybe another one besides that, but apparently he was a beast and turned out hundreds of them, and quite a few were notable.

"I like 'After Apple Picking' the most. I like how it emphasizes the ambiguity of the long sleep that he expects after his work is done. Is it a reward? Or is his time up?"

"I can't say I know. I didn't read that one."

"Did you read 'Stopping by the Woods'? It has a similar theme."

"I'll take your word for it. Is English your favorite subject or something?"

"Not really. I don't think I have a favorite. I think I just really want to be good at it so that I could go anywhere in the world." _Huh. I guess you can find someone who speaks English in any given country. She definitely likes keeping her options open. I think if I had that many options, I wouldn't have any idea of what to do with them._

Eventually their studying was concluded for the day and she wished him the best of luck, not anticipating seeing him before the finals. He had taken exams before, obviously, so he knew the drill, but this time he was not going for the middle of the pack and ending up at the bottom, he was going for the top and hoping to end up at least around the middle. It would not be enough to just put effort into it; that was what most students did.

Getting home, his father wished him luck on his finals.

"You knew those are tomorrow?" he asked. The old man looked down sheepishly and handed him a note. _He could've found this at the door._ It was a card from Yoshino-sensei expressing confidence in him. He wished he could believe he was as smart as the note suggested. Around the time he quit basketball, he had believed that he was smart, but just unwilling to put effort into school, which made him cool, but that was naïve. In reality, there were no smart, lazy students; letting your brain go to rot went a long way to the end of making you dumb, and he doubted anyone else saw him as cool because he never tried.

 _Well, not trying is cool, but if you don't try and then fail, you don't get any credit for not trying._ He sighed, never having thought he would lose sleep over his finals.


	43. Having a Future

Exams were hard. If he had visions of the future and odd notions of it from time to time, he would probably have nightmares about the finals. _At least there isn't anything that I can do about them now._ He could not have lunch with Kyou, or anyone else for that matter, because of all the anti-cheating measures in place. He effectively spoke to no one until they were all over, and then he was tired. _I'll go visit Sunohara. That seems low-risk. Maybe Furukawa after that._

Trusting that his friend would have gone straight home after taking the final, he went to the dormitory, deciding he could at least hold off on visiting Kotomi for a few days. Going to her house had been nice, in a way, because he liked hanging out with her, but it had also confirmed his fears about being reminded of his visions. To make matters worse, she seemed to have noticed that he was distracted, but at least she had no way of guessing the reason. _Maybe I can hang out with her again if I ever figure out what causes the visions or when they're not a problem anymore._

He had heard an announcement that the student council would be meeting soon about plans for next year, which would mean Sakagami could put in her proposal to protect the trees. _She still never told me why she really wants to save them. I must've known she had a good reason._

Without noticing, he had arrived at the dormitory. He remembered Sagara wanted to see that guy again, but he had nothing to suggest except asking if her classmates had kept in touch with him. _It's such a simple thing and I doubt it really has anything to do with my future. I should just get it out of the way. It would be easy to go over the Yoshino house myself and see if they know anything._

"Hi, Okazaki," Sunohara said as he opened the door, looking oddly cheerful. "Do you know how many answers I got right?"

"No." _I'm not betting it's a lot._

"Neither do I. Taking that exam made me realize something, my friend. You and I are cut out for the simple life. We don't need to worry about making as much as our parents."

"What do your parents even do?" he asked. _They did send him to a decent private school._

"Both of them basically work all day at this bar in Osaka. They're hoping to own the place as a retirement plan, since they've been buying stock in it over time."

"Huh. Does the owner not want to just sell it to them?"

"Not really; he wants to have more of the stock than anyone else, but he's fine as long as he keeps thirty percent or something. He's sold about twenty percent to my mom and a little more to my dad."

"He doesn't realize they'll have a controlling interest soon?"

"They've been acting like they're not married for the past twenty years. My mom never took my dad's name."

Somehow it was exactly what he expected. Tomoya laughed.

"Hey, it's not that funny," Sunohara said. "They practice at home all the time. They're always insulting each other and saying that they do all the work or that they never should have had children-" He stopped laughing.

"I don't think your parents are acting."

"Of course they are. My sister's coming tomorrow to congratulate me on graduating, so you can ask her." _Don't you have a history of bullying small children? Why should I believe her?_

"Sagara's been holding her calls for you."

"I know that, she's told me at least twice. I've just been busy."

"With what?"

"Well, first it was the election, then it was getting good enough grades to make an average score," the blonde boy explained.

"I actually did the math and you would have to score over 500% on the finals to make an average score or a median class ranking."

"That doesn't matter anyway. It's the simple life for me."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to be a truck driver." _I can't tell if that excited expression is real or not._

"Are you tall enough to reach the pedals?" he asked.

"It can't be that hard. There are laws against not paying me enough."

"There aren't laws against firing you for never showing up to work," he retorted. "How did you even pick that job? Did you see an ad somewhere?"

"What if I did?"

"Look, there are better ways of getting one over on your parents. You don't have to earn more than they do, and I wouldn't recommend trying with your academic standing. You can start by having better relationships, and you can start with that by being honest with people-"

"I was honest with Mitsurugi-"

"Yeah, after the jig was up. I thought he'd find out at some point, but he didn't-"

"Well, that's because he's-" Sunohara looked over his shoulder.

"He's not watching you now, you know. You should really get into the habit of talking about people when they're around if you want to be honest with them."

Tomoya got up and left. He had seen the rugby player in passing, meaning he had taken his exams, so there was no need to visit him when he was probably just mentally exhausted on top of being physically exhausted. _Well, I shouldn't be visiting Furukawa for the same reason. Every other time I've gone to see her, she's needed to rest. She's also just had Nishina over, so she'll be fine for a little while._

Deciding to go to the Yoshino residence, he was surprised to find a couple extra pairs of shoes by the door. _Do they have someone over? They've lived in this house since before they were married, so it wouldn't be their relatives just visiting now._

Knocking on the door, it was Kyou who answered.

"I wasn't expecting you," he said, smiling a little. "I guess you took my advice."

"Well, your expectations have more surprises on the way," Fujibayashi responded, nearly dragging him inside. _I guess I'm to blame for something._

In the sitting room, which was down a hall from the entryway, there was Yoshino-sensei and Furukawa.

"Hi. I... thought I'd visit," he said, not knowing what else to say. The challenge with entering a conversation in progress was that you had no idea what was being discussed, and just bringing up whatever was on your mind presumed that to be more important. Obviously, there were times and places, but there was little he could do without being intrusive. _At least we're all friends here._ "You're looking well," he directed to the girl from the bakery.

"Yes, I'm happy to be able to see you when I'm not sick. We wanted to be careful this time, so the reason I am out of bed today is because we're certain it's gone." Tomoya was accepting the information at face value, but she went on to clarify that their neighbor was a retired nurse.

"The jumpy old bat who- or, contrast, the distinguished Isogai. Huh. Ryou might like to meet her." His quick evasion did not seem to work on Furukawa, who made a face indicating his remark was rude, though she brightened quickly. _Damn. Maybe it was amusing enough that she could overlook it._ "What were you discussing with Yoshino-sensei?" he asked.

"Oh, I thought it would be nice to see how she was doing after everything that happened with Fuko. I also, well..."

"Nagisa wanted to congratulate me on being a mother," the former art teacher explained. _I guess if that's where you slice it._ "It means I won't be returning to full-time work for a while, but I may be able to substitute here and there." Tomoya nodded. Much of the stress of building a new family was already over before they were married, but Yoshino still had to work all day, which left her to do a lot of the work preparing for the baby. Because of the hesitation, he suspected that the girl's questions had been more awkward to put into words, but she had likely not been expecting him or Kyou to be privy to them.

"Yeah, that's right, Yoshino told me about that. I hope you two are all set for it." Something in his conversation with Sunohara seemed to indicate that his parents might not have been ready for him, which could explain a lot, unless it was just an excuse to be mad at each other. It seemed like the most obvious thing in the world that a man and a woman had to be ready to support a child, both financially and with their life circumstances. Once produced, the child would be their responsibility. _If anyone knows anything about that, though, it's Yoshino-sensei. I should trust her to make the right decision._

"It will be a challenge, but Yusuke is on track for a promotion in a few years."

Tomoya still felt like he was intruding somehow. Kyou was asking questions about being a teacher, getting certifications, and everything else, so he turned to Furukawa. He had not seen her in a few days, though he had seen her parents, and they would have told her as much. _It seems like they tell each other everything._

"Do you think you'll be well enough to finish up next year?" he asked. She nodded.

"I think so. I'll have enough credits to graduate, whether or not I take the exam. How do you think you did?"

"I don't know; it was a nightmare," he confessed. "I was trying the best I could-"

"Well, that's all you need to do." He sighed. _How do you get this naïve?_

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm sure you'll be fine next year." Her gaze dropped roughly thirty degrees. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that-"

"No, I know, I'll do well enough in academics... it's just... I feel like I won't have any friends again. All my old friends graduated last year, and I really tried to make new friends again, but then they all graduated..." The sense of futility was not lost on him. "I couldn't even get the drama club started again. There never would have been enough people." _You were also past the window for submitting club applications._

"Well, I think Sakagami would like to get to know you," he suggested. "She'll be busy, I guess, but..."

"You're right. I shouldn't give up hope."

The conversation between Yoshino-sensei and Kyou was still going on.

"What do you want to do when you graduate?" he asked.

"I've thought about it a little," she started. "I would like a job where I can go in every day and make friends with everyone, because at work you can be friends for decades, but... I don't think I can do it. It's not fair to expect them to..." she trailed off. "I can't do a job where I have to go in every day, but that's fine. I thought of other things I can do. I would like to be a script writer."

"You mean like, for movies?" _Come to think of it, she could probably do a good job making kids' movies._

"Have you ever seen _Big Dango Family_?" she asked. Digging back through some memory from a time he could no longer distinguish, he was silent for a moment, which coincided with a silence in the other conversation in the small sitting room.

"That's a... really corny, silly anime short, right? Like, they used it as a five-minute filler between a couple different kids' anime?"

"It's not that corny," Furukawa insisted. "It's cute. I've always wanted to write for something like that."

"I can see you doing that. You'll probably be good at it," he said. Kyou was glaring at them, but she stopped as soon as he noticed.

"I know I can do it. It'll take me a while, but I won't stop until I get there. I won't give up."

"That's cool, actually. I think it's good that you're not giving up." She seemed like a different person from when he met her, though she had even seemed kind of despondent a moment ago when he asked her about going to school for another year. _Maybe meeting some people in my year has helped her see things in a different way._

"Do you want to start a family like Yoshino-sensei?" he asked. More than anything else, her expression told him he had hit the nail on the head. It seemed most likely that she had come over to ask about that, and that was what they were discussing with Fujibayashi before he showed up, which made it awkward to continue that line of discussion. _I guess that explains why Kyou was upset with me. Well, that and the fact that I don't really want to have kids._

"Yes," she answered at length. "It doesn't have to be a big family, but I've always wanted to have one."

"Okazaki?" the lady of the house asked.

"Yes?"

"It's starting to get a little late. Is there something you wanted to ask me as well?" _She really is the perfect host._

"Uh, yeah. It's for Sagara. She says she went to school with you."

"Oh, I remember her. I don't think I gave her my home phone number when I moved into this house..." she started, going through what looked like an address book. "How is she doing lately?"

"She's mostly fine, it's just that she can't move around much with her job, so there are tons of things she'd like to do, but can't right now." Yoshino-sensei nodded, familiar with the concept. "Do you have any contact information for an 'Igarashi'?"

"Oh, yes, I actually do. He ended up in Shinjuku, where I believe he works in marketing. Would you like his number?"

"Uh, yeah, I'll get it back to her the next time I'm over there." He walked over and briefly considered removing the page from the address book before instead borrowing a note and writing it down. _I guess I've matured a little. I am supposed to be an adult now._

"Well, it's getting late," Kyou said from behind him, looking out the window. "I think it's about time to go home."

"I think you're right," Furukawa agreed. "My parents want me to get back before it's too late... they really don't want to take any chances."

"Oh, well, Okazaki can walk you home."

"Uh, okay. I guess that would be best." _I guess I can't help thinking of her as fragile. She was sick for so long, she's probably not used to being out of bed._

The four of them rose, though Yoshino-sensei was only seeing them out. Kyou was staring at him again, most likely waiting for him to say something or do something, but he had no idea what it was. Going outside to the garden, she went past him and the other girl and walked out the gate at an unusual pace. _Must be in some kind of hurry- does it have anything to do with that pet boar thing?_

Leading Furukawa out the gate and saying goodbye to the former teacher, who was now looking in the direction Fujibayashi was walking, he noticed the girl following him slowly also had a backward glance. She started to tug on his jacket.

"Um... did you do something? She... seems upset."

"I'm not sure. I might have."

"Did she want you to go with her?" _Shit. Shit._ "It's okay, if you want..."

"No, I'm not going to start and then run off the other way," he decided. _I didn't- did I not remember that I was supposed to be going out with her? Or did my older memories get in the way?_ "I'll have to tell her I'm sorry later."

"Why did she think you were going home with her?" she asked. _Damn it- just stop being so damn perceptive._ "Did you tell her you would?"

"No, I wouldn't have just agreed to take you home... without saying anything about that." _I don't know what to say. Why can't I just think of something to say?_

"Well, if you didn't say anything, why is she upset?"

"I... well, I guess she wanted me to ask her if she wanted to be walked home," he evaded. It looked like she was not entirely okay with the answer. "I think she might feel guilty being upset about it because you need to be walked home, if anyone does." _This is like the third time I've been in deep shit for not walking a girl home- Hikarizaka isn't even a dangerous place._

"When I left the house today, I was sure I could walk back if I had to," Furukawa explained. "I appreciate you being concerned for me, though..."

They had nearly reached her home when he saw a couple men in suits talking in the park. _Never mind, this might actually be a dangerous place, not that I could do a lot about it._ He stood between them and the girl as he guided her to the door, hoping that no one saw her. _It's probably pointless, since she lives here, but..._

_Now I just have to get around them to get home for the third time._


	44. The Offer

There was an inexplicable feeling of freedom going to school the following morning, knowing there were only a few days before graduation, soured only by the fact he still had no idea what he was doing. He would get his results the day they all graduated, and they would be mailed to him shortly after that, but he would have to start making some decisions quickly after that. He stopped by the dorm on the way, leaving a note on the bulletin board by the door for Sagara. _That should take care of that._

"Hi, Okazaki." It was Mitsurugi on his way out. "Do you want a job at my uncle's butchery?"

"I appreciate the offer. What's the job?" he asked as they were out the door. "I was going to narrow down my search based on my final scores."

"Yeah, you don't want to be without a job for too long," the rugby player explained. "Apparently it means you're not trying hard enough to find one if you don't get a job straight out of high school. If you've got some kind of six-month gap in your resume, it's going to look like you took six months off." Outside, the two of them walked around some road workers. _Wouldn't want to end up doing that._ "I can't do the job because I'm going to play rugby at the university level. Probably won't go professional."

"I think you said that once. Was your uncle looking forward to you getting the job?"

"Eh, kind of. It was kind of like a running joke; he was going to teach me the ways of the cleaver, and I was going to teach him proper Japanese." Tomoya squinted. "I call him my uncle, but he's only related by marriage. He's from Norway."

"Wow, that's far off," he responded, not knowing what else to say. "Is the pay any good?"

"Probably. I'd take it just until you find something else, even if you decide not to keep up with it."

It was more or less settled. He was willing to take the job as long as it did not take him far, because he still had a few things to do. _After that, I'll move to Sapporo or something. I can put up with being cold._

Getting to school, he decided he did feel a bit better about helping Sagara out, even if it was a small thing. He did not believe he would be getting a vision over it. As Sunohara sat down next to him, he remembered he had never received a vision about his future. _It's probably because I've never really helped him. Maybe I've been a jerk to him enough to cancel it out._

"Hey, is your sister coming over?"

"Yeah, tomorrow. I've tried to move it, but there's nothing I can do. I used to be worried she'd see the state of my room, but now that I've cleaned it up, I have to worry about how I don't have a job lined up. She'll definitely ask about it."

"Well, maybe you could move to America with Kotomi and write articles about anime for dumb internet magazines. They'll probably eat up whatever you have to say."

"You might be right about that." _You're such an idiot. Ah, well, maybe it will work out. You've got the kind of dumb luck that could go either way._

After his first class was over he asked Ryou if her sister were present, and she said no. _Damn. I really must have made her upset with me._ A look in the girl's eyes said there was more to the story.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

"I found her crying this morning..." she explained. "I knew it would be the wrong thing to get her out of bed, so I just went to school." She lowered her head. "Did something happen?"

He decided it would be better to explain the situation. No one else was listening, and he felt like he could trust her. She slowly nodded a long.

"I've had the sense that she liked you..."

"How?" _Don't tell me it was in the cards._

"It's... a maiden's intuition." She sighed. "My sister is really, really tough and she doesn't act like it sometimes, but... she is a girl. I would like to say that if you have a choice between doing the right thing and doing what a girl wants, you should do the right thing, because she will understand... but she can understand and still be hurt." She looked around. The next class was about to begin. "Now I know why she was saying 'die, Okazaki' over and over..."

Returning to his seat, he collapsed into it and let out a long breath. _Did I say I needed this?_ He contemplated going to visit her, but there was a chance that would make things worse. _I've never even told her that I like her, and that's because I can't tell her that. I can't tell her that, because... I won't mean it._ He shook his head. _I should turn her down properly. I can't just run. I have to be responsible._

At the start of lunch break he got around to asking Ryou to tell her sister he wanted to talk to her. She responded with only a nod. Going out to the courtyard, he remembered he did not have a date waiting for him out there and went to the lunch room instead. He was not too surprised to find a handful of rugby players beating up Sunohara, guessing that they had to get it out before the year ended, because then they would never see him again. He sat down across from Harada, the girl he recognized from the choir club. She was a year younger than he was, so he guessed Furukawa would be welcome back if she decided to join again next year.

"Hi, Harada," he started. "How were exams?"

"They were alright. I think I am going to do well next year," she said, looking only a little unsure about talking to him. "We still have practice for the graduation performance." Tomoya nodded. The only reason the school was open was to give the teachers time to grade the exams and take care of a few other last-minute duties. The student government was still working on their plans, so he would probably not see Sakagami, at least until tomorrow, when she had a speech to give.

"I'll make sure to be there," he said, remembering a time he said he would be content to have his diploma mailed to him if he got one. "I hear Sugisaka is already working."

"She is; I think Nishina will start soon at a restaurant while she continues with her vocal training."

"What about you?"

She showed him an engagement ring.

"My boyfriend is a senior who goes to my old school. He has a job in a chemistry lab as a research scientist."

"Huh. Kotomi might like to meet him someday." It was weird to see a ring on the finger of a girl a year younger. He supposed that if men typically married younger, he should not be surprised to see his female acquaintances getting married before the male ones.

"Don't worry. I promised my parents that I would finish all my schooling." She smiled gently. "Research scientists don't make a lot, anyway."

He decided to get up and go back, even though he still had a few minutes. He ran into Miyazawa in the hallway.

"How are things going?" he asked, remembering that she still had a few matters to tie up.

"They're mostly concluded. You said you ran into a man calling himself Ryu, right?" she asked. He nodded. _If this'll get the yakuza out of my neighborhood..._ "Do you think you could identify him if you saw a picture of him?"

"Yeah," he said as she dug through her pockets, pulling out three black and white photos. His eyes narrowed. "You took these yourself. You took them with the same camera."

"Close," the gang leader responded. "They were taken with the same camera, but that was Yu's friend." A teacher passed by, raising an eyebrow at the exchange. "Meet me after school."

"Fine." _I don't have anything else going on. I want to wash my hands of the whole thing._

Classes mostly concerned their immediate future, though there were a few actual academic things brought up, which he ignored. Whatever late grades he got back now were final; he could do nothing about them. He took the opportunity to go over his career choices. _There's not anything I can get right out of the gate that's a whole lot better than working in a butchery. It's supposed to be a skilled, stable job._

Deciding against skipping his last class, since there was still supposed to be an inquiry on whether or not he was cheating, and he had to maintain the idea that he was just a model student now, he noticed Sunohara had fallen asleep, though it was not as if he could be blamed for that.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "You won't have to think to write internet articles."

As classes ended, he was one of the last out the door, waving to Kotomi as he passed her in the hallway. He was reminded of seeing her at the airport in the vision, but he forced himself to refrain from looking away. Going outside, he wondered what percent of his memory was from before, and what percent was from some other time, but it seemed unlikely he would find out. There were books, apparently, that said a person was the continuity of his or her memory up to the present. _What if I remember my future, though?_

The girl waiting by the gate did not watch his approach.

"Hi," he said, waiting until he was close. "I hope I haven't kept you from your crusade." She cocked her head. "This was about the yakuza the whole time, wasn't it?" he asked. "I knew there was something that didn't add up with Kinoshita. I couldn't figure out why you'd go so far to protect some random salaryman-"

"Believe what you will," Miyazawa suggested. "I can have more than one reason for doing things." She looked in his direction. "But yes, it was about the yakuza." She showed him the pictures again. "A few years ago, Ryu came to my brother as a recruiter." Her words from weeks ago returned to him. _At some point, my brother decided the only game in town was the one they were playing._

"That was how he died."

"One thing led to another, yes," she said as he pointed out the appropriate picture. "A few weeks ago, we would have been content to just show him some pain. He would most likely never have approached the Sasaki gang if we had succeeded."

"What happened?" he asked out of curiosity as he followed her.

"It was a weekend, and for once we knew where he was going to be. We had him surrounded in the park, and then, inexplicably, the police showed up. He slipped through out fingers just like that." _It can't be the same park. It can't have been the same day._ "One of my older guys has a friend in the department- he doesn't do anything for us except tell us where they're going to be- and apparently it was an old lady who lives within spitting distance of the park who heard a loud noise." _I'm starting to think it was the same old lady._

"Well, what can you do."

"We knew he was in the area, here and there, because the Sasaki gang had to have some contact with the yakuza, but we never caught him, not with all the people we had looking for him." _I guess that explains all the patrols when Kinoshita was nowhere to be seen._ As she led him down a long street, he tried to think of what loud noise could have set off the old lady, but it was a while ago. He remembered a loud horn honking at him as he ran across the street to get the ball, but would she have mistaken that for something else? He shook his head. It was too long ago to seriously try to remember what happened; he would get just as far asking Sunohara.

"Where are we going now?" he asked.

"We're going to the base. There are a few people we have to let out." _Huh. I don't think I've been there yet. It's in the opposite direction from the warehouse, which was basically across town._

"Those would be the other two guys you captured," he surmised. "How long have you been holding them prisoner?" he asked.

"Not long, up until a few days ago all our resources were devoted to preparing for the fight. We needed the territory for a couple reasons; one because Sasaki needed it to grab Kinoshita, two because we needed to insult the honor of the yakuza. If everything went well, Ryu would be killed by his own superiors, but we heard nothing about that. He probably got off with some lighter punishment. It would also be a hell of a thing to offer Sakagami, but we only knew she would be interested when you told us."

_I'll have to tell her I'm sorry about that later. I should have guessed Miyazawa had her own purposes in mind. I was just thinking about how protecting some guy from a mob inquisition would be the right thing to do._

Nothing was said for the rest of the trip. Though she did not mention it, he guessed that it had actually been her gang that had been breaking the lights, which was either a way of making it look like the other gang was doing it, or a way of kidnapping the yakuza guy if they ever caught sight of him. One of the consistencies he noticed was that they always seemed to sabotage every other light, or the first two out of every three, the idea being that they could see him as he passed under one light, and grab him as he was going to the next. Knocking out all the lights would not only make him harder to see, it would make him less likely to take the road, and more likely for there to be a serious investigation into the destruction of public property.

 _At least it was giving Yoshino a job to do. If he keeps making fifteen percent on every light he checks, and fifty on every light he fixes, then the whole thing's probably netted him a decent sum._ He stopped walking, then started again. _Must be a memory._

They arrived at a machine shop and went inside. The place was dark deserted, but it was well-maintained. It was as if someone intentionally kept the place looking like it was running at all hours of the day. _The mechanic is a front._ They went downstairs to the basement, where there were three men tied up with a single lightbulb hanging down from the ceiling.

"These are the guys, then?"

"They all probably have something to do with the yakuza," Miyazawa explained. "It's not like I could let any of them leave here alive either."

"Why did you want to know which one was Ryu?"

"All three of them denied it. I couldn't tell you why."

"So you're just going to murder all three of them, but you're satisfied since one of them is the guy who killed your brother?"

"I didn't kill nobody," Ryu objected. He had a black cloth over his face, but Tomoya recognized the voice. "I offered an opportunity and he took it. Everything after that, he brought on himself."

"That's enough out of you," Sudou said, emerging from the darkness. _I doubt anyone else from the gang is here. There never were that many people in her inner circle._

"If I offered the same deal to you, would you take it?" the bound man asked. _Doesn't have anything to lose by talking._ "It's in and out, twenty minutes, and you're smashing a small time dealer. You know some of that stuff's going to the school, right? A million yen up front and the rest later-"

"You never said there was a bomb!" Miyazawa shouted. She was shaking.

"Dealers are good with chemicals; your brother knew that. Don't think I don't know who you are-" He received a kick to the ribs. "You go back in time, tell him there's a bomb in there, okay- does he change his mind? Does he say it's not worth it?"

Tomoya put a hand on her shoulder.

"This isn't helping. This isn't making anything better. You're just going to have more of these guys on the streets every day until they get revenge for three of their guys disappearing. It doesn't really matter to them if he failed them once; if he's one of them they have to get revenge. They don't let anything slide."

"That's what I've been saying," Ryu agreed. "They don't think anything of it if we don't answer the phone for a day, but if they can't find us, they come after us and they start kicking teeth in until they get what they want."

"I already thought of that," the gang leader explained. Another gang member was carrying something heavy down from upstairs. It looked like some kind of gas cannister. "Unfortunately for you, I know someone else who's good at chemistry."


	45. Hysteria

Tomoya liked to think he would have taken the possibility into account that Harada's boyfriend who 'went to another school' would be a member of the Miyazawa gang, or at least that it was the result some insane plot of going to Hikarizaka just to get to know the girl, but as far as he could see it was a coincidence. He was a taller, thinner looking young man with glasses, making casual conversation with the gang leader about her exams, about which he had heard from his girlfriend. He introduced himself by a nickname, Ao.

"Oh? Who is she?"

"You might have met her- Harada? Green eyes? Beautiful voice?"

"Oh, you know how to pick them, then," Miyazawa commented. She turned back to her guests. "Anyway, I accounted for the chance of someone rushing in here to get revenge on us, which is why I have this bomb. The plan is that we move you to another location, set up the bomb, and make a video supposedly by members of the Sasaki gang about how trying to rescue them will kill everyone in a hundred-meter radius. The yakuza are proud, but ultimately reasonable people. They're not going to rush in just to lose more people. If they do anything, they'll be picking off our enemies here and there."

"A hundred-meter radius? Are you insane?" he asked. _She might actually have lost it. That's killing several innocent people just to threaten the yakuza._ "Why would they think the other gang wants this?"

"They don't have any reason to think I do- most of them don't know they killed someone related to me."

"You're threatening to blow some of their men to kingdom come," Ryu rejoined. "They'll just burn the whole town to the ground. That or they'll buy it out and turn it into a highway."

"Sudou, you can't be going along with this-" Tomoya started, but the man just shrugged.

"Losing her brother was the worst day of my life. I swore to do whatever she needed to get back at them." He shook his head. "It would have been so much easier if we could have roughed him up back then, but he had to go and keep making problems for us."

As the yakuza member shot back about how he wanted to give Sasaki a chance to prove himself against mindless street toughs, he found himself turning to Harada's boyfriend as he was setting up the bomb.

"Well, what about you? Do you really want to go down with this ship?"

"I owe Miyazawa a lot," he explained. "I've been a member since I was a child, but they always encouraged me to stay in school. This is sort of my attempt to pay them back for skipping the fight over the territory. My girlfriend begged me not to go, and well, I decided she might leave me if I did, even if I came back alive." He made this weird half-smile. "I know it's a risky plan, but none of us will be in the video. We'll think of some kind of motive that they would believe."

Tomoya just wanted to get out. He wanted to wash his hands of everything. There was no way he could be held responsible for a bomb going off just because Sunohara kicked a ball across a street once and he went to go get it, because there was no way for him to have predicted this would come about. _Wait a minute- wouldn't I remember the bomb going off?_

Racking his brains, there was nothing in any of the visions that even suggested a bomb went off, though he might not have known who would have planted it, and it might not have had anything to do with him, making it just another day. _That would also explain why I'm not feeling any sense of danger or fear from the bomb..._ He turned back to Ao.

"What kind of bomb is this?" he asked quietly. "Are you using thermite?"

"No, that would be good for collapsing the building, but it would be easy to avoid. The explosion forcibly spreads a deadly gas, which would definitely kill the yakuza guys if they set it off."

"Wouldn't it also kill innocent people?" he asked, still whispering.

"They wouldn't be breaking the lock to come down here," Harada's boyfriend explained. "I don't think it would really go a hundred meters- the gas is heavier than air so it really shouldn't go much farther than up the stairs."

"If this goes off, you won't just have the yakuza after you, it'll be the police as well. You guys have to realize you're going way too far for a vendetta."

"Well, what else can we do about them? We've had them kidnapped for weeks. They're going to be after us anyway."

"Not if you let them go," he explained. "They're not going to have a reason to get revenge on some street gang if no one died, and they're going to treat it as Ryu's failure for being captured. All three of them are probably going to get demoted and reassigned somewhere in the southeast." Looking over his shoulder, it seemed the gang leader had taken to talking quietly with Sudou.

"That's an optimistic way of looking-" Ao stopped himself. "It's a lot less optimistic than the old plan. Grab her, okay? I'll let them out." Nodding, he turned around and put his arm around Miyazawa, ducking a punch by her associate. There was a lot of confused shouting, but he had to trust his new acquaintance to get the hostages up the stairs without untying them properly or getting the masks of their faces. _They should go along with it- the other option is dying-_

Sudou continued to pursue him around the basement as his leader kicked and struggled, probably knowing better that to scream, which would attract the police. One of the less important targets was gratefully being led up the stairs.

"Hit me!" she demanded, aware her subordinate was trying to avoid doing just that. He was trying to hit her captor, but Tomoya was proving to be better than expected at avoiding it. He felt a bit like a coward, but there was no getting around it; the experienced fighter would win every time. Moving Miyazawa out of the way of a punch, he realized he could allow the guy pursuing him to act like he was doing his job. As another blow came for her, he moved her again, noticing that Harada's boyfriend was back down the stairs.

"Give it up!" he shouted, trying to make them see reason. "One of them is already getting away. They know about the bomb, they know about this place, and they know that you want revenge against them."

"No..." Miyazawa objected, her voice failing as she was moved again. "No, he has... to die- Sudou, please-"

"I can't leave you!"

"He won't do anything to me, he's just distracting-" _I'm almost out of energy here. I have to convince him to keep following us-_ He undid the buttons on the jacket of her uniform, pulling her out of the way again, this time tripping and falling. Getting on top of her, she clawed at him as her subordinate kicked him in the ribs.

"Kill him! Kill Ryu-" Tomoya could no longer look over at Ao to see if he was successfully getting the hostages out, he only had the repeated blows to his body to know that no one was doing anything to stop him. Holding Miyazawa's arms above her head with one hand, he started to undo the buttons on her shirt with the other when he felt himself being physically thrown across the room. Holding his arms over his head as his vision cleared. As if from a mile away, he watched the second masked man be led up the stairs as the gang leader screamed for her tired subordinate to go after him. Somehow Ryu had picked up the bomb that had only just before been the object of his greatest fear.

"He's got the bomb..." Sudou managed, surprisingly able to think clearly. "I can't do anything while-"

"I don't care if it goes off and we die down here- as long as he dies too..."

"Sudou, you have family... we all have family... this doesn't make any sense... it's not right-"

Ao was coming back down the stairs. It seemed the main target had already escaped, causing the leader to collapse back on the floor. She did not, under the circumstances, seem to care that her shirt was partially hanging open.

"I don't care anymore. Just let them go..."

Her associate shrugged and helped get the last man out, who was thanking them profusely, perhaps unsurprisingly. They were basically getting off scot-free. When the two gang members went back downstairs, Ao did his best to get Tomoya to an upright, seated position, looking him over to find he had only been bruised. Strangely he was clapped on the shoulder.

"You knew that would hurt..." he muttered. Sudou was trying to get Miyazawa's buttons back straight again, but his hands were too big and she waved them away, capable of doing it herself. If something was funny about the scene, the humor was lost on everyone but Harada's boyfriend, who chuckled slightly. _I guess he just didn't want to go to jail._ He might have shrugged had he the strength. _There are worse motivations._

As soon as his legs would move, he decided it would be a good idea to get out of there, before the gang leader could change her mind about being apathetic. He had done the right thing rather than helping her, meaning he would at least avoid a vision, but he supposed he would only get one of those if the person he helped was someone who would reappear in his future. _Maybe I should help some old person and see if that results in anything. No, it'd be even better to help some local yokel and ask him or her to come visit me in ten years, and explain everything that had happened._

As he made it out of the machine shop under the setting sun, he decided that it was a good concept, but would ultimately be pointless if the visions were of a future over which he had no control, though that would at least settle that matter. Having skipped supper to follow Miyazawa, he was hungry, but there was nowhere around. He decided to take a walk through the park, which would at least be friendly territory until the following morning. The closest thing to a restaurant was Furukawa Bakery. Not looking where he was going, he bumped into someone.

It was one of the yakuza.

"I thought you all got away..." he managed. "Why are you still here?"

"We figured one of you would be up and out before long. We thought we'd wait in the park and surprise you if we caught you on your own." _They're trying to redeem themselves for getting caught by street punks by beating up a street punk._

"It's been a long time since we've had this kind of work," Ryu said, still holding the bomb. "You know what happens if you try to run, right?" _They wouldn't set it off while they're right next to it... they'll just plant it somewhere and set a timer or something..._

"You've got the wrong guy..." he attempted. "The leader, back there, she probably hates my guts now... I was the one releasing you."

"Oh, so we owe you for getting cold feet?" someone asked. "If you're worried about your little friends, don't be. We're not looking to talk about this kind of embarrassment. We're just going to beat the daylights out of you on their territory. Should be enough of an insult."

He started to back away, but it seemed to only make them more interested in pursuing him. He was close to the street, but in his condition, there was no chance of running. Even if there were no drivers this late in the evening, they would catch him before he crossed the street. All of a sudden their faces were lit up blue and he turned around to see three police cars, the officers getting out. Tomoya could not think of a time he had ever been so happy to see them.

There was a standoff of sorts as a few of the officers had their weapons drawn on Ryu, calmly ordering him to set the bomb down and back away from it, but he was refusing to comply, shouting back that it would go off if he dropped it. _I have to get to the other side of the street. Maybe they'll let me cross if I have my hands up._ It looked like the other mob guys were already surrendering, but they clearly wanted to be away from the explosive.

Putting his hands up, he tried to move away, but the officers did not let him move in any direction. _They can't rule out the chance that I'm one of these guys. It's better to just get arrested and get out of here._ The police were cautiously crossing the street as Ryu was backing away, despite being ordered to stay put.

He did not know what happened right as the guns started firing, nor did he want to know; he kept his head down and waited for it to stop, hoping not to die in the process. Glancing across the street, he saw there was a light on in Furukawa Bakery. _I want to be over there so badly I could scream. Why am I like this? How did my luck get so bad?_

It seemed the cops could tell he had been roughed up a little by the time they reached him, but before long they would figure out the guys they were arresting did not have any blood on their hands. He was having trouble answering their questions; it was like they knew exactly what to ask to trip him up and make him forget what he was supposed to say. Across the street someone was calling out for him. It was the daughter.

"Nagisa!" he called back. "I'll be back soon, okay?" It seemed the commotion had her father out of bed as well and he was coming out of the store with a baseball bat. _Don't make this worse. Don't make this worse than it already is._

"Hey! What are you guys doing to my boy? He's not one of them."

"Excuse us, Mr. Furukawa. We did not suspect him of anything, because the suspects seemed to be threatening him, but we have questions for him."

"Well, that can wait. Let me get him inside so I can look at his bruises." Tomoya kept the shock out of his face. _Why is he helping me? I thought he didn't like- I thought he hated me! Is this just some sort of trick?_ The police officer looked hesitant.

"As long as he answers our questions in the near future..."

"He'll do fine with that, once he's in a better state."

Akio led him across the street, lending him a shoulder. Containing his disbelief, he ran through all the possible reasons why he would be helping when Nagisa rushed out of the bakery and threw her arms around him.

"You were helping someone again, weren't you?" she asked, tears in her eyes. He nodded as they went inside.

"Alright, you lazy bastard, get on the guest futon and sleep it off," the father decided. "I want you out of here first thing tomorrow morning."

"Dad... he's hurt."

"I know that, and I'll bet it's his own damn fault. I know his type. I only helped him because you keep saying he's a good guy, but frankly, I can't see it."

Nothing more was said as the girl led him to the sitting room and got out the guest futon. She did not seem to care what had happened, but she insisted, if haltingly, that he take off his shirt so she could see how bad it was. She was wincing more than he was. Eventually letting him go to get a shower and go to bed, he found his bruises were more painful under the water than they had been, and they kept him awake, keeping him from finding a comfortable position. At long last he decided to lie awake until he was exhausted, which worked because it called for no physical change.

More than anything else, he was overwhelmed with gratitude toward the Furukawa family. He doubted the wife was up at this hour, but she might have stayed up with him just to make sure he fell asleep if she had been. It made sense and was more than reasonable for the husband to expect him out of the house, since he did not want the police around more than they already were, but he guessed he could also spare a thought for the old lady next door. There had been several loud noises that night, most notably Miyazawa's screaming, though that would have been muffled by the fact they were in a basement. _I guess she could have seen them if she'd been up... or she could've heard something unrelated and it was just dumb luck._

It was a bit hard to believe, having had very little experience with dumb luck in the past.


	46. Yesterday

Going to school the following morning, he ran into Sakagami on the way.

"Did something happen?" she asked. _Bruises must be visible to the trained eye._ He shrugged and explained Miyazawa's issues. It was a long story.

"Basically, we never knew the real one, unless the girl I met was also an act."

"That's weird," the student council president responded. "I always thought that Yukine was happiest when she was in the reference room reading books that no one else wants."

"I mean, that might be what made her happy, but... well, if nothing else there's a whole side of her that we never would've seen if it hadn't been for going down this rabbit hole."

"At least you're out of it now."

"That's if she doesn't want revenge."

"I could beat her up for you," Sakagami offered. Tomoya could not tell whether she was joking or not. He had refrained from giving her the details about how he got the hostages out of the basement, only that it was reason enough for Sudou to beat him up, if reluctantly. _Well, she's pretty smart, so she might've figured it out._ They kept walking for a moment before she spoke again. "Well, from your story she might actually be tougher than I am."

"She's tougher than a lot of people, but that's not hard when you're so focused on getting revenge you'd commit suicide over it. Really, I think she just doesn't care what happens to her."

"Isn't that what toughness is?" she asked. "It's where you decide that some things are more important than getting hurt." They walked a little further before he spoke again.

"I mean, sure, but I still don't think it's good to focus that on getting revenge, especially when the case barely had a leg to stand on. The guy offered her brother a job where he might die, and he died. She was just so hung up on losing him that she picked someone to blame for the whole thing."

They had reached the doors.

"Well, I doubt she really hated the guy that much, then. She just loved her brother more."

Even as he went into his first class, which he mostly ignored, he felt like his friend's assessment of Miyazawa's character was just putting an excessively positive spin on it. He knew she meant well, because she basically always did, but he wondered if there was some other motive. _Does she want me to believe that I helped her?_ He thought back to something Ryou said the other day, that sometimes there was a difference between doing the right thing and doing what a friend wanted, which really applied to both genders of friends, when he thought of Sunohara. _Well, this time I did the right thing instead of what she wanted._

Thinking of that reminded him of Kyou, with whom he would have to speak today. He was kidding himself if he thought she would want to keep dating him, since he had yet to give her an answer, even though he would definitely give her one when they talked. _It makes me feel really useless, the fact that I've just been letting her try to convince me for the past week or so._

After his first class, there was apparently a phone call for him. He went to the teachers' office expecting it to be the police, since they had questions for him, but it turned out to be Furukawa. She wanted to know how he was doing and he told her, trying to make it sound like a normal conversation. He wanted to know why she did not go to school for the last few days, since they were not doing anything, but decided not to ask. _She probably doesn't want to have to watch everyone else graduate._

After his morning classes were over, he walked out to the courtyard and was surprised to find a certain girl sitting on a blanket, with lunch for two.

"Hi, Okazaki," she said.

"Hi, Kyou. I didn't expect..." _What do I even say? Kindness?_

"I know. I've thought about it a lot and I decided you didn't deserve to be poisoned." She looked around as she got the food out. It was an array of rice balls wrapped in seaweed. "I know why you're here." _Ryou would have told her a little. I guess one of them figured it out._

"I'm sorry, but I can't keep going out with you," he said. It was somehow both harder and easier than he thought. "It's not because there's someone else, it's just..."

"You don't feel that way about me," she filled in. "Is it because I was mean?"

"No, I know that's just something you do because it's easier than being honest. I'm probably not that different." The rice balls were filled with pickled ume, which was standard, but always good. "Thanks for making me lunch all these times."

"Well, if I'm still capable of being honest, I enjoyed it. I was always popular among the girls because I didn't have a boyfriend, but I realized I liked going out on dates and making lunch every day." She sighed. "I really hate to admit it, but I think you might be right about the two of us being a bad fit for each other."

"What was your first clue? The fact that you had to try to be nice every day?"

"No, the fact that you're such a boor you would never appreciate it anyway."

Tomoya knew she was joking, but somehow it stung anyway. He always did appreciate Kyou being nice. _Though I guess that was always her real nature. Is every girl in this school putting on some kind of elaborate show?_

They finished up and put everything away, taking time as though they both knew it was the end. He was packing up the bento while she folded up the blanket, looking away from him. She stopped suddenly, and started shaking. He wanted to run again.

"Are you about to..." She held up a hand to stop him from asking.

"Just let me find some place to hide."

"I'm betting Miyazawa isn't in the reference room."

Kyou just nodded and walked off.

Tomoya could not find the requisite motivation to go to class when he knew there was nothing going on. Instead he looked around the club rooms to see if there was anyone else skipping. Harada and Nishina were in the music room with Kotomi, which was a good sign.

"You guys are all friends now?" he asked.

"We decided we didn't want her to graduate without apologizing for how we treated her."

"I decided I didn't want to graduate without telling them it was my fault for being terrible," Kotomi said. _Nothing more really needs to be said about that. She doesn't need to tell them the violin was a connection to her parents or whatever._

"Where's Sugisaka?"

"She's applying for my job, basically," Nishina answered. "It should get us through music school."

"Does she have to wear a cutesy uniform and be nice to people?"

"I haven't told her about that. It's a family restaurant, though, so we don't really have to deal with rude people." He nodded. _It's probably just the groups of teenagers that pose a problem._ It was getting harder not to think about the fact that Kyou was probably crying somewhere and there was nothing he could do about it. He remembered that he never wanted to make girls cry for any reason, but it was one of those cases where he was doing the right thing. _That was what I should have done with telling Kotomi that she was terrible. I should have decided whether I would spare her feelings or tell her the second I heard it._

"What's on your mind?" Harada asked.

"Well, I met your boyfriend yesterday. I don't think you mentioned his after school activities."

"That's because... he didn't want me to tell anyone..."

"Hey, you shouldn't go around telling people things like-" Nishina started. "Wait, what exactly does he do after school."

"It's not important. I thought it was some kind of open secret." Everyone was looking at Harada. _Well, now I feel terrible._

"I only know a little bit about it. A few years ago, he put out a flier for chemistry tutoring. No one responded when it was in the school, so... he put a few around town, and his phone... practically rang off the hook. They paid him a lot to teach them highly... specific subjects, and he started making some friends who would ask him to make something here and there, and it gave him a chance to... experiment. He got to make things he never learned how to make in school. He told me the money and the experience were good, but it was hard to get out."

It seemed everyone else was accepting the story without questioning it. _Well, it does sound like the kind of thing you'd tell your girlfriend so she wouldn't worry about you, but it also sounds like something he might have done._ From meeting Ao the previous night, he did not see the guy as particularly violent or criminally inclined, just a little too smart for his age, which was his same age. At some point Nishina and Harada said they had a class and started to walk out, when he said he was sorry.

"I'm sure it will not be too bad, since you and I are graduating," Kotomi said as soon as they were out. "You are graduating, by the way. They would have told you by now if you were not."

"They told me last year." His childhood friend stifled a change in expression.

"It was that bad, then?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they said the same thing to Sunohara, but he wasn't listening because he was trying to think of a comeback for something I said to him. We started coming up with ideas for what he could do, but I'm pretty sure he'll just tell his parents he got held back and keep living in the dorm for another year."

"I don't know about that. I think he is about as dumb as you believe, but a little nicer and more considerate than to keep leeching off his parents. He told me at one point that there was a machine shop in the town where he grew up, and every day he always knew that he could go back there and work with his old friends." _Did he ever tell me that? Would he ever tell me that?_ Somehow, if he ever heard it out of his friend, the memory was hard to place... but there was a girl, a girl with black hair in ponytails.

"Why didn't he?" he started back, hopefully distracting her from noticing he had something on his mind. She was like Furukawa in that respect; she could always tell when he was bothered. "Why didn't he go back, I mean."

"Well, he felt like that would be quitting. I think his level of determination is actually pretty impressive, but he just does not care about very much in the first place, which keeps him from having to agonize over whether he should quit or not." They were both getting up. It was true they had nothing to do in class, but it was better for both of them to act like model students, if for different reasons, and missing more than one or two a day was probably not going to impress anyone. _It's pretty surprising she managed to leave class in the first place, and just to hang out with her choir club friends._

Classes were perhaps more boring than they ever had been. At some point he had developed something like a sense of responsibility, which was most likely why he had no longer been able to use them as a form of escaping his problems, as little as he liked it, as bad as it was for his slowly improving grades. Reading a book he had gotten from Kotomi because he was interested in it, he found it was the bizarre thing he had ever read. It was this odd fantasy written in old-timey language, which made it nearly illegible considering it was already in English, but his friend had sort of shamed him into giving it a try, saying that it had been written for children.

It was more entertaining than paying attention to what was going on in class, so he read this part about a scarecrow deciding that he did not have a brain for some reason, even though he seemed pretty capable. Really, the biggest mystery was how he had any organs, but he could ignore that as a decision by the author. _Well, now I know why Kotomi gave me the book._

When classes were out, a teacher told him that his scores had been among the first graded, and that he was impressed, relatively speaking. He would not say what the scores were, exactly, though there was substantially less suspicion that he had been cheating the whole time. There had been a host of anti-cheat measures during the finals, so it was unreasonable to think he had cheated during that time. _Well, it's good that they're not suspecting me anymore. I would have absolutely no way of proving my innocence, and they would just treat any attempt to prove my innocence as suspicious._

With school over, he went in the direction of the machine shop in hopes of... patching things up with Miyazawa? Telling her what had happened? In truth, he did not know what his business was at the base of her gang. At any rate, there were police looking around, so he went the other way. If they grabbed him, he would have to answer their questions, but he had no desire to just submit to questions on his own time. He would instead go to the dorm, where he hoped to meet Sagara.

"Hey, is Sagara here?" he asked Mitsurugi.

"Yeah. Here's the address of the butchery, by the way. I don't think he wants to bother you before graduation, though, so just show up the day after that or something."

"Oh, thanks. I never thought to ask." _That's probably because I haven't been taking this seriously so far. It doesn't really seem real to me._ The dorm mother was in her room, meaning he would have to knock on her door. He had never gone to see her in such an obvious way, but he did not object to it. If anything, he kind of liked the idea of meeting her in private, where he would not have to deal with any of the loud residents.

"Hello? I'm not available for counseling right now."

"You provide counseling services?" he asked as she opened the door.

"Oh, Okazaki. I assume you're here to ask me about my date with an old friend." Sagara invited him inside. The interior was much nicer than any of the dorms he had seen, though that was entirely within his expectations, given that it was not a teenage boy living there.

"Kinda, yeah. Did you call him?" _I thought that was the plan._

"I called him, and he was passing through, so we met. He ended up marrying someone he hadn't been dating in high school, which surprised me more than it should have. I don't know why I'm telling you all this," A cat looked at him from on top of her dresser. _Have I seen you before?_

"It didn't go well?"

"It went as well as I expected. He remembered me, because he knew I had a crush on him, but that was a long time ago. To be honest, I'm not sure I would still be interested in him."

"Oh, you're into younger guys," he joked. "He was only interesting while he was in high school. No wonder you've surrounded yourself with-"

"If only. No, these guys don't interest me. Very few of them even seem to know how to take care of themselves; they're always coming to me asking for advice."

"Isn't that par for the course, though? They're teenagers, so they're figuring that stuff out?"

"It's not like they're asking me how to file their taxes. Not that I would be terribly entertained by explaining it to them."

"What's one thing, then?"

"The last guy who had a problem literally banged on my door saying 'it will not come out' for five minutes. He said he'd been trying and trying, but-"

Tomoya started laughing. It was the first time in a while.

"Wait, really? He still has a problem with that sort of thing?" He managed to stop laughing. "At least I know you didn't help him with it."

"Oh, I gave him something. I can't just not do anything about it." His eyes widened.

"What did you give him, a handjob?"

"What- Oh, no, he was constipated and I gave him some fiber supplements. Somehow I would be less annoyed if he wanted help with that sort of thing. At least it would be original." She got up from the chair where she was sitting, presumably to make tea. "I couldn't do it, though, since I would maybe get fired, and almost certainly he'd tell all his friends and then I would have to do it for all of them." _The fact that she's even considering it is some dedication..._

"Well, the school would definitely find out if you did it for all of them, so..."

"I'm sorry to kick you out like this, but I really am busy right now," Sagara explained. "It's okay if you want to talk sometimes."

"Thanks. I'll see you later," he said, walking out without complaint.


	47. Last Day of School

Tomoya talked to his father that night before going to bed. He was not that concerned that every conversation was not the most important that he ever had- if he understood anything from his friends, they had casual conversations with their relatives all the time. At some point, however, there were important things he had to go over with his last living parent.

What did concern him was his dream.

He managed to write it down again as soon as he had gotten up, opting out of going to school on time. Basically, it started with a funeral, or the end of one. He couldn't tell who died, but he had the feeling it was his father since the man had to be on his last legs already with all the alcohol at his age. Tomoya was not crying, he was just staring resolutely, which seemed to indicate that he was handling it, but everyone was offering him sympathy all the same. He could not recognize some people; perhaps they were distant relatives or old friends of his parents. At some point the service was basically over and he walked out, still in his black suit. There was a long scene where he was just walking, and he must have been lost in thought, but he said nothing.

At some point he reached his apartment, which was not covered in liquor bottles and looked well-kept. He stood there with the door open for a minute before he closed it again and locked it, walking back downstairs. There was a car waiting for him, and he must have recognized it, because he got in without saying anything. In the car, it seemed Kyou was driving, and she was absently talking about borrowed things. He borrowed the suit from someone, the car was her mother's, and most of the money for the service had been borrowed, though it could be paid back in short order.

The version of himself said nothing until they reached their destination, a house that looked plenty big for a family, but it was empty. Able to see her properly when she got out, he noticed the woman was wearing a black dress with bare shoulders, and he guessed she had been at the funeral as well. She told him he could stay there for the night, since her family was away and Ryou was going back to where she lived now. He commented that she must know what it was like to be lonely and it looked like she was trying to contain herself. She had gotten better at it with experience.

Kyou told him he could have any bed he liked and he laughed before offering some kind of curt apology. Tomoya realized after waking that it had been a tacit invitation and he should not have laughed, even if it was like her to conceal her feelings like that. He clarified that he was just not in the mood; it had nothing to do with her. It did not appear she was entirely healed by the remark, but she sat down in the chair next to the couch where he had taken to lying.

"I... I know it's wrong. It's probably even worse for you than it is for me, but... I can't explain it. You don't know what you did to me. I thought that... it was okay if I didn't have you, as long as you were happy, but... you weren't. You didn't seem to want to try-"

"Did she tell you-"

"It doesn't matter how I know. You sacrificed everything you wanted, and when your wishes became- joined- with someone else's... you sacrificed them all."

"What was it worth, Kyou? I'm not at fault for all this; this was always going to happen. I just didn't realize that it was always-"

"Well, how do you know? What if both of you had something- something to hold you together, something to work for, something to scare you-"

"Is that what you want? Is that why you're inviting me-"

"No, I just- I know it's wrong, but... you need to hold someone. You need to not fail at something. We don't have to... do anything, but I need to be there for you." It was about then that she got onto the couch where he was lying. He could feel her, even though it was a vision. Kyou collapsed onto him, her head against his chest, as though she had just been shot and he was the pavement with the chalk outline. Tomoya knew not the thoughts of his future self, neither them nor the reason he did not take her in his arms, but he did hold her. The dream ended with a few bright lights in his eyes.

In the present, he had arrived at school in time for Sakagami's speech. She had been talking about it for a little while, but she had never disclosed the contents. He assumed she was going to lay out her general policy, demonstrate that she was taking things seriously as promised, and thank Sunohara for ceding the position. He had no use for it, of course, but it was the polite thing to do. He got to the assembly room and sat next to Sugisaka, even though there was a space open net to Ryou. _That dream didn't even have anything to do with her... it was almost entirely Kyou. I guess I didn't choose her in that timeline, but... wouldn't the vision have been the same if I said yes to her? I still would have been helping her, since I assume what she wanted was an answer... but in that universe, I rejected her. I guess I could have gone out with her for a little while in high school, but then we broke up after that. That's something that seems like it could happen._

He wanted to kick something, but that would alert everyone around him that he was pissed, and then he would have to explain why. It was not as if the girl next to him could be described as... bad, but she was capable of meanness. _How do I know that?_

"Students and faculty at Hikarizaka," the president of the student council started. "I have been chosen as your new president by default, after the winner of the election was persuaded to step down. I would like to thank him for being reasonable, and for refraining from rubbing in whatever point he was making." It was a kind of sad way to start the speech. Tomoya had seen the thank you coming, but he had not imagined she would acknowledge that she really did lose. "I am not deterred by having lost; my ability to do the job has not diminished, and nothing will keep me from being the best president I can."

"Who wrote the speech?" Sugisaka asked quietly.

"No idea. I thought she wrote it herself." She was laying out a lot of policy decisions she had in mind for the coming year, and people were paying attention. _I guess they're seeing her as a serious candidate who takes the position seriously, and she's talking about a few things that might impact them._ There were more nebulous concepts discussed like the academic standards of the school. He thought some people would be checking out already, but apparently not even Sunohara was asleep.

"That was a lot," the girl next to him said as she finished outlining policy.

"Well, she's taking this seriously. That was why people voted for her."

"Ugh. The less seriously the student council takes things, the better. We really had to fight them to approve our club in the last minute, and we might not have had it without Kotomi and Nagisa helping. If someone like the other candidate had been in charge, that never would have happened."

"Huh. I hadn't thought about that."

"You're not in any clubs, are you?"

"No. I guess that's why I didn't realize an active student council would be more difficult than one that can't be bothered to show up for work." There was a round of applause, but the speaker was not finished yet. _Well, that might have been why they were clapping._

"I have a confession to make. While many of you may have had this idea from my fliers, my statements, and the debate that I woke up one morning and decided that I was the best candidate, so I had to run, the truth is more complicated. In reality, I always wanted to save the cherry blossom trees on the path to the school, and everything I did from then on was a means to that end. I cleaned up my reputation, I studied in school, and I decided that I would be the best candidate. It took years to gain the confidence I needed to run, and though I did not win, I have my friends to thank for the fact that I never dropped out."

As the clapping started again, the speaker bowed out, leaving the stage. The speech was a lot of things, it was functional, to be sure, but it was as much of a confession as described. Sugisaka seemed particularly interested in the last bit, where she had ignored most of the rest.

"Hmm... maybe she won't be so bad after all."

If anything had been made that day worth attending, it was that particular comment. Shortly after getting out of bed, while he was writing down the vision, he considered skipping just so he would have no chance of running into the girl he had just dumped, but he wanted to see the speech. He wanted to support Sakagami, even if only to finish what he started, and even if she did not realize he was there. _They probably don't need to personally thank me in order for me to have helped them. I don't think Kyou did, but she probably feels that I did the right thing._

As far as what he thought of it went, he wished doing the right thing could feel like it more often.

Going to his last class before lunch, it seemed they were watching a movie, which he decided to skip, not that anyone cared. So many teachers were tied up with grading they were doing anything to keep the students from running off. He had wondered why they even bothered having class, and not just skipping until graduation, but he figured there had to be some kind of rule about it. The school year was supposed to be 210 days, and private schools were notorious for getting extra days in to get paid more for them, but it was a good education so no one complained. The students were generally happy to have a break once in a while, and he hoped the new president would recognize that things like that helped the gears turn more smoothly.

"Hey, Okazaki. How have you been?" It was Koumura.

"Oh, I didn't see you there, sir. I've been doing well. Are you taking a break too?"

"Yes, I believe I am. It seems like grading finals gets harder every year."

"Well, before long they'll get it to where machines can do all the multiple choice grading, so then you'll just have to read essays."

The old teacher laughed. Tomoya wondered what was funny.

"By then, I'll be retired," he said. "I don't mind, though. I've accepted that I'll probably miss out on new things that make life easier. To be honest, I still haven't figured out the internet."

"That's fine. I hardly ever use it for school, but I'll probably have to start using it for work."

"Well, look at it this way, son. You never had to learn how to use a mimeograph." He laughed again, though this time it was quieter. "How is Sunohara? Are you two still friends?"

"Yeah, thanks for that. I don't think I'd have made it though high school without him. I really don't think I would have even made it through that year without someone to share in my suffering."

"You don't think he dragged you down at all?"

"Not really. If anything, I probably dragged him down a bit, at least in terms of social life. He's pretty much at rock bottom, and he wasn't there before."

"I see. Well, that should change when he gets a job."

The conversation more or less ended like that. He went to the cafeteria for lunch, finding it mercifully less crowded than before. He had seen Kyou make lunch for her sister before, so it was a safe bet that if she went to school, she was outside. He just had to hang out with someone else. Getting his bread, he assumed people were either skipping or taking the opportunity to celebrate the end of the year at some of the local restaurants. He found himself wanting to hang out with Furukawa more than anyone else. He had always enjoyed going to her house, and he felt like she was a part of that. _Do I like her? I feel like I like her. Maybe people would say we don't match or something, but I'm not really taking that into account._

He ate lunch by himself, though he saw Ryou not too far away. It was obviously wrong to make things weird with her because of what happened in a dream with her sister, but that vision was only reminding him of his first vision, and he realized that he really had no idea if he had been watching them in order or not. It seemed unlikely, unless every action of his was controlled by some kind of hand of fate.

 _Well, that could be the case, but it would be irresponsible to believe that, especially without any kind of evidence._ He thought back to the vision. _Damn._ He wanted to kick something _Damn._ He felt like the world he kept seeing was trying to take over his own. _Damn._ He felt like the person he was in the dream was trying to take over him.

It seemed like going home early would be the best thing he could do. He went out to the school gates, where he saw Ryou.

"Oh, are you leaving, Okazaki?" she asked.

"Yeah. There isn't anything to do here now." It reminded him of coming to class every day and seeing the same girl look a little disappointed that he did not care about it. She would hand him something, or tell him something, and he would be relatively polite to her, but ultimately disregard what she had to say.

"I know what you mean." _What? Since when have you ever-_ "I've had so little to do, I've been trying to figure out how to help Nishina break up with her boyfriend."

"What's going on with that?" he asked, his curiosity overrode his other questions.

"Well, they were going out since middle school, but... I think he just expected her to be something else... or maybe she acted differently a while ago... and he expected her to be the same." It seemed like a lot of words to say they were not getting along. "I don't think he's a bad guy, it's just..."

"I see. So they haven't broken up yet?"

"It died down for a little... when he started working instead of keeping with going to school. They started writing letters to each other, which was fine... for a while, but this past week, he's... been coming to see her. She doesn't think it's been long enough... but they're having problems, and it's clear to most of her friends."

"It didn't really seem to me like she was upset about something. I think I saw her yesterday."

He noticed they were walking to his house, so he changed course. It seemed better to go to the dorm, at least for now. Somewhere Ryou was coming up with a response that did not sound like 'well, you would not notice'. He started to think about it more.

"I don't think she's wrong," he said after a minute.

"What?"

"I think if it's only been a week, maybe it's still worth trying."

"But... there were a lot of signs that it was not going to work. She says he started calling her by her family name when they were in public..."

"She knows what that means. My impression of Nishina is that she can say anything to anyone. If she decides it's time to break up, she won't hesitate. If she still wants to work on it, or maybe she's just trying to be nice, then just let her."

Ryou stopped following him for a moment.

"What if... what if he's being mean to her?" she asked.

"I don't know him. He might be. I don't think that's the case, though." They were approaching the dormitory. "I think she would be capable of telling people if something like that were happening to her. There was this kid I knew in middle school, right? I didn't know him through basketball or anything, but basically his parents were divorced and he was living with his mother. This older student, Tanaka, kind of appointed himself to find out why the kid was so down every day."

"What happened?"

"Well, the kid said it was fine; he didn't really hate living with his mother, even though he suspected she was the cause of the divorce, but the other guy kept digging, right? Tanaka kept insisting that the guy's mother was a problem, and that he should do something about her. So one night he led the guy out to the roof of this old industrial building and pointed out his mother hanging out with another man, and he was someone the guy recognized from before the divorce."

"Did it help?" Ryou asked. It looked like she started to see where it was going. "Did the older student show him what his problem was?"

"Yeah, basically. He pushed Tanaka off the roof."


	48. The Dormitory

Tomoya went into the dorm and looked for Sagara after saying goodbye to Ryou. He considered telling her that the older student, Tanaka, only suffered mild injuries from the fall, since it would hardly diminish the meaning of the story, but he decided he would let her ask if she were interested. There were a couple different ways of interpreting the story, but really the way he saw it was that if you wanted to help someone and do the right thing, you had to know how you were going to do it, otherwise you were just having fun with someone else's problems. If Tanaka had ever really intended to help, he would have thought about what he could actually do, and the short way of putting it was just being a better friend.

Sagara was not answering, so he decided he would come back. Sunohara, by contrast, opened the door right away. Standing in the middle of the room was a younger girl he assumed to be Mei, having seen her picture. She looked basically the same, except for a distressed expression at the mess all over the floor. It had been a while since his friend had cleaned the place.

"Hi, Okazaki, good to see you!" _Yeah, because I'm distracting your sister._ "Have you met Mei?"

"No, I don't think so, except for that time when she ran for president of student council for a few weeks."

"Hahahhaahaha what are you saying? She's never been here before?"

"Oh? Who was it that cleaned up your room?"

"I did that!" Mei seemed to sigh in relief as he insisted that he had in fact cleaned up his room once.

"Well, that would explain how you were able to hold onto a boyfriend up until the election."

"Huh?" The girl could not be making a more confused expression. "Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"I think you broke her," Tomoya observed.

"This is all your fault!"

"Well, who was it that decided to run for president as a girl?"

"That was also your fault!"

"Well, who was it that got beaten up by the rugby players for being annoying?" The door flew open right as Sunohara shouted back at him, and a trio of rugby players dragged him out of the room as he shouted back. "Well, there they go again."

"Is he going to be hurt?" Mei asked.

"Not badly, I don't think. They'll probably be using kid gloves after I told them he likes being beaten up."

"Oh... I didn't know that was why he would always... make them mad..."

"Oh, no, he doesn't really like it; I just told them that so they would stop." _Somehow I can't really lie to her._ "He really did have his room cleaned at one point, but that was because he was pretending to be a girl."

"Oh. That was why he had a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. He's not a pervert either; he's actually a decent guy. He lives across the hall if you want to meet him."

"Um, that's fine. How has he been living apart from running for president?"

"Well, I guess it's an improvement over all since he actually does stuff now. It doesn't always work out, but it's less of a boring life, that's for sure. Do you go to a middle school around here?"

"No, Youhei and I are both from a small town out in the country. I'm off for a little while, though." _She did say she was coming to check up on him. I guess something could have happened to where she would delay her visit, or he could have delayed it by pretending not to be here or something. It would have been a disaster if she'd shown up before the election._

"Oh, well, I wouldn't worry too much about him. I can think of a few careers that don't require any intelligence or skill. He could be a radio host, for one thing."

"Would he be an entertaining radio host?"

"Yeah. He would just have to invite the rugby guys onto the set so they could beat him up all the time. I think I would actually tune in if there were a radio show like that."

"I mean I guess that's an idea..."

Sunohara dragged himself back into the room covered in bruises. _Huh. I thought they'd be going easy on him._

"Curse you... Okazaki..."

"What did I do?"

"Because you told them I liked their meaty hands on me... they switched to using their sports equipment!"

"I didn't tell them that. Besides, you could just tell them that you like getting beaten by that stuff too. Too bad you'll be out of a job that way."

"What? Why would I be out of a job?"

"Remember your dream of being a radio host? You were about to tell Mei about how you've been getting interviews?"

"That's right... why was that a good job for me again?"

"It doesn't require any intelligence or skills."

"That was it. Does it require me to show up every day?"

"Youhei..." the girl interrupted. "That's not going to work. Okazaki just thought of that job now. You can't have been getting interviews."

"Damn it, this is the third time you've double-crossed me."

"I don't remember doing that. Besides, there was no way your sister was going to believe you could do that anyway."

"Of course I could!" he shouted. "I have been getting interviews, you know- just because you've only thought of it now doesn't mean I didn't think of it three weeks ago."

"Really now?"

"Yeah. I've already interviewed with Tokyo Broadcasting Subsidiaries. If I find a better offer, I'll take it, but I'd be happy to work on the only station where they still run Bomb a Head."

"What?"

"They're the best rap group in the world. Anyway, the media company owns multiple stations, and when I get the offer, they'll probably put me on my preferred station." _This is a little much to be just making up on the spot. Usually it's easier to see through his lies than this._

Tomoya decided to let his friend have it for the time being. There was some chance he had done some research into being a radio host as a possible career, and he should get some amount of credit for that. _The best part is, if he lies to his sister enough, he'll have to get the job to avoid disappointing her._

"Where are you staying for the evening?" he asked Mei.

"I was thinking of getting a hotel room somewhere, but I don't want to use too much of my parents' money."

"Aw, you're considerate. This guy spends everything in his allowance as soon as he gets it."

"That's not true. I save up enough to get a pork cutlet bowl every other day."

"Youhei, you're not supposed to be eating that many carbs!" the girl objected. "You have to eat a balanced diet."

"Well, this is actually one thing where I can't side with you," Tomoya said. "If he's not causing any obvious problems to his health, he's probably fine. Like he's not fat or anything. Anyway, if you don't want to go to a hotel, I know a few girls who could maybe put you up for a little while."

"Are you... a womanizer?" Sunohara might have cried from laughing.

"Not really. I do my best not to be." _I even refused Sakagami when I didn't really have anyone else at the time. What was I thinking? Was it a memory? Why can't I eve expect to realize that I'm being influenced by my memories when I am?_

He decided to excuse himself to see if Sagara had shown up, and he found that she had. He had barely asked her about Igarashi last time, and then they had gone off-topic about her counseling services or something. He had been in a lot of conversations since then.

"Oh, it's you again. Well, come in."

"That was a quick decision. What if I wanted sexual favors?" She glared at him briefly, then smiled while turning away to make tea. _At least I had some basis for asking that as a joke._

"Just so you know," she called back. "You're getting invited in because I think you're a bit more mature than the other guys around here, not because I want to lose my job." She came back with two cups. "I would advise you to consider that before asking such things in the future."

"Okay, I'll make sure to be out of school by the time I visit you next. Do you feel like seeing that guy made you better off?" he asked. "Like, did you decide that visiting him was what you needed?" She sighed before answering.

"Well, my memories from those days are a little vague. Sometimes I think I still liked him, even after he dumped me and sometimes I think there was someone else."

"Seems like a weird thing to not remember." He took a sip of tea. It was alright, but he could tell it was cheap. _Well, if she has everyone over for counseling once a day..._

"I know, it was only a few years ago," she continued. "What I remember was that there was this guy who was trying to help me with something, right? If I had a wish, and it had to be something ordinarily impossible, then he would grant it for me."

"How?"

"See, that was what I never understood. He said he had like a ball of light or something in a charm, and that he would use it to grant my wish. Eventually I just wished that he would keep hanging out with me, and maybe take me on a date to the Founder's Festival."

"I'm pretty sure that's already past."

"I know; I haven't been in years. Anyway, he stopped coming to school, but somehow I never got the idea that he had run out on me. I know it doesn't sound like he was a decent guy, but if you knew him, he was genuinely caring and selfless."

"You have trouble remembering him, though?"

"I have trouble remembering specific things. It's weird, I know." She sighed. "I'm busy again today, so..."

"What happened when he left? Was there a note or anything?" _Why would I choose this as my last question? If I only get one, it should be something that will get to the truth of the matter._

"My friends and I found a cat in the place where he used to wait for me every day when school let out. I decided to keep him on a whim, and the rest is history."

Not wishing to overstay his welcome, he got up from the couch while commenting on the weird story, but he supposed most stories from real life would be weird. Things were never really wrapped up with neat endings, where everyone knew everything about what happened. It was substantially more likely that people would interpret what they had seen incorrectly, or just never really dig too deep to figure out the truth. He doubted police work ever really happened like it did in detective shows, and his own case was plenty evidence of that. The cops had yet to bother him. He was just a loose end they were willing to ignore.

Going home, he met with his father, where they talked briefly about his work. It seemed Kinoshita was up to less suspicious behavior than he had been previously, which was good, he supposed. He heard more stories from the old man's youth, and he tried to listen with an open mind, because it made things more entertaining than assuming it was all irrelevant. Some things had changed of course, like how in those days most of the girls in his class were already engaged by graduation, but some things were basically the same. As weird and as silly as it sounded, he doubted the heart had changed much since time began.

Getting into bed for the evening, he did not feel like he had expected to feel the night before graduation, but that was just how that happened sometimes. _I also probably never thought about what I would do when this time came up until just recently._ It was weird to think of his life improving when he graduated, since he would be working in a shop all day, and rarely if ever see his old friends, but at least he would not have to see Kyou. _It wouldn't be that bad if all I did was break up with her. I could look her in the eye after that. It's the damn vision. Did we do it or what?_ He shook his head. He would probably never find out the answer. It was not as if his dreams would ever notify him if he managed to divorce himself from that timeline, or if that were even possible.

Sleep overcame him.

Getting out of bed, he found himself wanting nothing more to do with Miyazawa. He was surprised to find the door not unlocking when he went over to it, and even more surprised to find there was a latch on it. _That's right. This is a dream._

"Are you going?"

"Yes," he found himself answering. "I have to be at work at seven, most days."

"It's only six. You couldn't stay any longer?" He turned around. It was a woman he vaguely recognized, but she had to be around thirty. She had the sheets over most of her body. _It must be a good while from now. That would explain why I don't know her just by looking at her._ The presumably older version of himself was shaking his head. "It's not because of me, is it? I'm not holding anything against you, you know. I got away from the game a long time ago, thanks to you."

"It's not that it's you. If it were anyone else, it would probably be the same," he said, going back and sitting down next to her. "Somehow, even after all this time, I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Well, you're an honest man, aren't you?" the strange woman chided, running her fingers through his hair. "Extraordinarily faithful, too..." She stopped. "...and yet- you haven't lost that sense of childlike awkwardness, have you? Perhaps you hide it well, but really it's just weird- going there with an old friend?"

"It's kinda weird, yeah. You were good, though. Did you ever have a husband?"

"I thought better of it. I had a boyfriend in college, another after that, but I couldn't find anyone... I couldn't find any reason to settle down, really." She sighed, plopping back down on the creaking springs. "I told you I could relate to your life because the world is so cruel to us women, but I suppose we always have a choice about one thing."

"Well, it wasn't really the world's fault. It must've been mine, somehow, but I don't know what I could've done differently past a certain point. That was a long time ago."

"What if you woke up the day before that?"

"I probably would've made all the same choices, because I'd still be the same person that I was. No matter how far back you want to look at it, I wouldn't have any reason to do anything differently."

"Aren't there some things that would have turned out differently?" the strange woman asked. "Aren't there some things that could've gone either way?"

"I don't think so. You think about it, there's a reason for everything. No matter what happened, there's something that caused it, something that caused that, and back and back and back."

"I guess the only thing you can do is keep moving forward." She picked up a pack of cigarettes by the bed. "You don't mind if I light up in here, right?" He shook his head. "I had to keep moving forward. There was so much that I regretted... I never told you about it, mostly, because what was the point?"

"I'd move forward if there was something for me in that direction."

Tomoya saw bright lights again as he woke up, rolling out of bed almost immediately. He knew there was nothing to do but write it all down, yet he was having a hard time making himself actually do it. _No matter what I do, will it still turn out the same way? That- version of myself, he said there was nothing I could have done differently... past a certain point, at least. What if I'm already past it?_

He finished writing everything down exactly as he knew it, wishing he could have done the same with the first vision, but simultaneously doubting he could have forced himself through it. He threw his uniform on, hopefully for the last time, remembering it was time for graduation. The employment office in the school would probably still be helping a few students to find jobs, but the vast majority of them were going on to higher education. _At least it'll be a while before the ceremony starts. I'll have some time to say goodbye to a few people here and there. If Sunohara is moving to Tokyo, I'll probably never see him again._

There were classmates of his with substantially more interesting prospects than his old friend, but he would probably be missed the most, especially since there had been no visions about him thus far. _What even is his problem? Well, what is it that he didn't bring on himself?_

He stopped as he reached the hill leading up to the school, seeing a girl pushing a young boy in a wheelchair.


	49. Graduation

The girl was Sakagami.

He could not identify the boy in the wheelchair, but he looked to be related to her. _That's a reasonable guess, anyway. She mentioned having some family troubles a while back._

"Hi, Okazaki," she said, turning around. He momentarily flinched upon seeing her, but he could tell she was not the woman from his dream. Even if she were to stop using silver dye for her hair, the face was completely different. _It's almost unheard of for someone's face to change that much in ten to fifteen years. Besides, she's going places. She wouldn't be smoking in my apartment._

"Hi, Sakagami," he responded, remembering that time they were using each other's given names. "Is this your brother?" he asked.

"Tomoyo, I want to go down the hill again!"

"He's a bit of a handful." She let go of him and he immediately set himself to wheeling up the hill. "I think he doesn't mind being in the wheelchair a little longer." _He looks like he's about at the end of junior high, so he'll probably start here next year. I hope he can walk by then, or going up the hill's going to get old in three days._

"Is your family the reason these trees are so special to you?" he asked. He guessed it was a combination of what he remembered and surmised.

"The trees really don't have anything to do with what happened. We were just walking home under a row of cherry blossom trees when we finally came together as a family. It wasn't even this row; it just reminds me of the experience." She smiled, slightly.

"Did you used to fight a lot?" It seemed she was not going to say more unless he asked.

"I would have preferred that, to be honest. The reason I never felt like I had a loving family was because we were all living our own separate lives. I don't think I would have annoyed my mother and father if I told them I was out every night. The saddest part is that at some point, I got used to the arrangement. I think both of my parents were having affairs; really we were only living in the same house out of some kind of performative conformity."

"What happened?" he asked, seeing the boy get to the top of the hill?

"My brother happened. He threw himself into traffic."

"Can't blame him." There were times when he had wanted to do the same himself. Losing sports at the end of middle school was bad enough; he could only imagine hitting rock bottom at a younger age.

"I think it was really a desperate cry for help. I don't know what he expected, to be honest, but we took him to the hospital, huddling around him as we waited for him to wake up." _They didn't realize that they cared for each other._ "The doctors told us he could be released the same day, but his legs had been badly damaged." _They all thought they were being abandoned, so they all pretended not to care._ "We walked him down the row of trees. We were all looking up, because no one wanted to say anything."

Tomoya could picture it, even though he was sure he had never seen her parents before. _Huh. I guess I could just be extrapolating based off what their kids look like... no, that wouldn't work. It's not like I can predict what the Fujibayashi parents look like. I must have run into them at some point._

"Are things better now?"

"Generally, yes. It's not perfect, but we're trying." He thought of his own family situation.

"Sometimes that's all you can expect."

He went ahead to the graduation ceremony. Sakagami had just given a speech, so he did not expect she would be required to give another one, or that she would even want to give another, so she would probably not attend, since she was a year younger anyway. He sat next to Sunohara, who was on time for perhaps the first time in his life. It was a wonder to believe that he was graduating in the first place, but he guessed the school would rather have everyone graduate than have to fail just one person. It looked like everyone was on pins and needles to see their scores on the finals, but they would probably sit through the ceremony obediently anyway.

"What do you want to do after this?" he asked. "Are you going to celebrate graduating?"

"No, that was what I expected. I happen to be one of the smartest students here; I just didn't try."

"That's not how that-" He shook his head. There was no point in that line of conversation. After the first speaker, there was this large group of students who got up and sang the school's song, which he did not know himself. He picked out the girls from the choir club in the crowd, but he guessed the school had a larger group on hand for whenever they were doing this kind of assembly. He had seen posters about it, or he thought he had seen them, but he had no other idea about it. _If you asked me a week ago, I probably couldn't have sworn we even had a song._

He mostly ignored the ceremony, joking absently with Sunohara until it was over, going and getting his diploma from a stack at the end. He was in no particular hurry to see his scores, even though he had been thinking about them a lot and they were important, because that was mostly futile. Apparently he and Kotomi were just going to stand around talking until the massive crowd of third-years dissipated.

"I'm betting you got first and Sakagami got second," he said, eliciting a giggle.

"Well, that's a safe bet. Who will get third?"

"I don't know, maybe Kyou." His friend shook her head.

"I spoke with her a while ago and apparently she had trouble focusing during the finals." He wanted to kick something. "I don't know if she was just making an excuse, but I feel like it's enough to bump her down a bit."

"Well, it might've been a good excuse." He shook his head. "Alright, maybe Nishina gets third. I know she's a really hard worker."

"You shouldn't expect everyone at the top of the list to be someone you know," Kotomi said. "Don't worry too much about Kyou, though, she will probably come out near the top in the final class rankings for the year. I studied with her in the library one time and she really knew the material." She looked around. They were mostly alone outside. "Do you like her?"

"Not like that. I'm mostly just concerned. She's had a lot happen recently."

"You really like to help people, don't you?" she asked, reminding him of his vision with her. _At least I know she's not the woman from my dream last night._

"Well, I'm graduating now, so this school is screwed. It's going to be a rough first term for Sakagami."

"I don't know about that."

"What?"

"Well, she told me earlier that she talked to the headmaster, and conditional on a couple of upcoming policy decisions, she could have what she wanted. As long as she's willing to work with the other student council members and produces results, her proposal for protecting the trees will go through."

"Huh. I was mostly joking. It's good that she can get notified of something like that so early. I thought it'd be at least a year before it was a certainty."

"Well, it's conditional, but the conditions all depend on her." Kotomi took a sidelong glance at him as they started walking over to the board. "Don't you think that if it depends on her, then she'll be able to do anything to get it?"

"Yeah. She will now, anyway," he said, remembering her last attempt to get him to keep seeing her before he finally managed to tell her it was over. _I don't think I realized how hard it was to say that I don't like her like that until I actually did it. Maybe I should have gone with Kyou- at least I think she ended up okay. No, her sister was really the only safe bet, and I only learned that after my future self said it._

He could not entirely blame the fact that he was thinking about his visions on his proximity to the subject of one of them, but it would be a relief to be out of school. When they got into the building, they found the hallways mostly deserted, though there were a few people standing around and talking. They navigated to the boards where the scores were posted with minimal difficulty, though there were a few people still there.

"Oh, look, I'm at the top," Kotomi observed. Directly below her was Sakagami, as expected, but there were a few guys' names below her. He decided not to look for Kyou, because he also wanted to know where he was. Somewhat relieved not to find his name at the bottom, he felt more concerned when he did not find his name in the middle either. "I don't see you."

"I don't see my name either. I guess I could've done so badly they didn't put me on the chart."

"Well, there's Sunohara. Don't tell me you did worse than he did."

"I wouldn't think so, unless he somehow managed to cheat or something." _Is that even possible, though? I didn't see any way to look at someone else's paper without getting caught. The desks were too far apart._

"How would you cheat, if you had the opportunity?"

"I guess I would have to ask someone who could hack into things to get into the computer where they stored the test, print it off, have someone else take it for me, and then write down the multiple choice answers in code and hide them somewhere in the classroom. Easiest thing I could think of would be to put little holes in the ceiling tiles with a pencil or something, you know, one dot for A, two dots for B..." he trailed off, not having heard any sort of reaction from his friend.

Turning around, it seemed there was a teacher and the head of the third years standing right behind them.

"Okazaki, the reason your scores are not posted is because you are suspected of cheating."

"How could I have- check the ceiling tile above where I was sitting-"

"That's not the only way you could have kept track of the answers," the teacher responded. "You could have brought in a small bit of paper and coded it so that it would appear unrelated. You could have also made up a pattern that was similar enough to the actual answers, memorized the pattern, and then acted like your score was the result of arbitrary guesses."

"Well, to do either of those things, I would have to have the answers. I don't know anyone who's good at hacking. I couldn't tell you where or for how long the questions were stored on a computer before they were printed out the day of the final."

"Okazaki wouldn't do anything like that," Kotomi rejoined. "I know him personally and I've been helping him study for the final. You can ask my parents. We're studying, and he wouldn't have bothered if he had the answers or knew how to get them."

"We're not questioning you two in the same room," the head of the third years decided. _Damn. He's in charge of most of the discipline for the graduating class. He could probably cancel my diploma if he could cite some sort of reason for it._

Following the man uncertainly, he tried to think of ways of getting out of it. He had better sense than to study with Sunohara, who would consequently have no idea that he had been studying. He could theoretically have one of his other friends lie for him, but then he would be putting their scores in jeopardy, and their scores were probably higher. He ended up in a small office with the head of the third years sitting down across from him.

"I am told that previously, you have been less concerned with academic matters," he started. "I try to be understanding of the fact that a student like you will come along every so often. Perhaps, a thousand years ago, you would have been a celebrated poet." He sighed. "I do not personally believe you were very likely to commit any act of academic dishonesty when you have shown no inclination of that so far, but there is evidence against you and the school does not believe that a student of your caliber could score in the top ten percent of the students after a few months of concerted effort."

Something inside him died. He could not convince anyone that he was the kind of guy who could score in the top ten percent, really he had a hard time believing it himself. _I must have gotten a few lucky guesses... or I really have taken the exam before. Why would I remember it, though?_

"What's the evidence against me?" he asked after what felt like a long time.

"Your friends, Sakagami and Ichinose, both answered almost all of the questions correctly and consequently, they have almost identical answers. Neither of them, however, are perfect, and both missed a few difficult questions, but they missed them in different ways. We did not suspect either one of them of cheating in the first place."

"Did my wrong answers match one of them?"

"Unfortunately, you had some wrong answers matching one, and some wrong answers matching the other. The worst possible scenario is that the three of you were all in a conspiracy, and you deliberately missed several questions because you knew we would expect you to have a lower score."

"Why would they cheat?" trying to come up with something. "They're both really smart. They would have been at the top anyway."

"They would have cheated to help you," the head of the third years said, letting out a long sigh. "Members of the student council have some idea that Sakagami is interested in you. They asked her why she was seen with you, and she had only the kindest words for you. You have been seen walking Ichinose home from school."

"We were studying- you can ask her parents."

"The school is aware that her parents would have seen her studying with you. It would explain the similarity in your wrong answers, after all."

"Why would I go over there almost every day and pretend to study with her, or actually study with her, if my whole plan was to get her to help me cheat on the test?"

"There are several possible explanations. One is that you started studying with her, and at some point you realized you could not make up the ground you lost in time for the exam. Another possibility is that you were going over there to sleep with her, and her parents believed her when she told them what they wanted to hear."

"I wasn't sleeping with her. We don't really see each other that way. It's true that we're old friends, but... I mean, that's why I couldn't really see myself with her, because of how long we've known each other." He sighed. "She would never agree to help me cheat, not even after I helped her with a few things. She helped me with a project a few months ago."

"We also have to consider the possibility Sakagami was helping you. You were seen leaving campus with her a few times."

"That's about as unlikely. When I helped her in the election, she was insistent on doing things honestly. I honestly thought it was kind of extreme; she wouldn't even challenge her opponent to a shogi match. I know she liked me, but she just didn't have it in her at any point to go against the rules. I had to tell her I wasn't interested a few weeks ago, and that was because she actually has a future. I've known I'm going to keep working in this town for years now. I don't really mind, but it'd be ruining her life to drag her down to my level."

"You must have known the student council would judge her for liking you. They were not aware that you broke up with her, since her opinion of you seemed to have improved."

"I didn't call her a bitch and tell her to scram or anything," he said. It seemed easier than telling him what actually happened, and why it made perfect sense that her opinion of him would have improved. "She and I decided to stay friends. It probably hurt her feelings a bit the day of, but after that she would have come to the conclusion I would have only taken her offer- or stayed with her at all, really, if I actually were the kind of guy everyone thinks I am." He sighed. "There was no way of keeping her and having her think highly of me. It was kind of a doomed relationship from the start."

The head of the third years nodded slowly. It seemed he was understanding the situation, and perhaps changing his view of the young man sitting across from him. He looked down at his notes.

"There was another concerning factor in the test results. Your other friend, Fujibayashi Kyou, scored much lower than expected."

"I think she was having a bad day when she took the final."

"That may be, but as you are already the primary suspect. We can continue this conversation later-"

"Do they really think that I was sleeping with three girls at once?"

The man across from him only sighed.

"I'll call your house when I know more."


	50. Actual Careers

Tomoya was glad he did not have to show up for work until the following day. He was running the risk of having his scores canceled, and the student council had just about the worst possible impression of him. It did not do wonders for his mood. He found himself hanging out in Sunohara's room, though he would have gone to the Furukawa bakery, had it been open. _Maybe they decided to go somewhere together, now that their daughter is feeling better._

"Oh, Mitsurugi stopped by," his friend had said when he came in. "He wants you to meet him on the hill leading to the school tomorrow."

Presently, they were just sort of reading old magazines and drinking cheap tea, which reminded him of how it had been a long time ago. _Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let him know that I'll miss him._

"So you're going back at the start of next week?" he asked.

"Yeah, the boss said he can't start anyone right away. It's only an assistant job, but it'll get me close to the kind of people who could change my life."

As it turned out, the blonde young man had either not been lying about having spoken with Tokyo Broadcasting, or he set about it right after having lied about it. _He probably offered to do whatever job they had for whatever they would pay him, which means he's probably going to be a PA for free. The only thing you need for that job is an absence of pride._ He stared at the ceiling for a moment. _Well, it's a job._

"How much longer is this room going to be in your name?" he asked, wondering if he could still hang out there.

"I'll have to have help moving my stuff to Tokyo."

"I'm not doing it."

"Jerk. Well, you won't be able to hang out here any longer."

"I'll just hang out in Sagara's room."

"Keep an eye out for her cat, would you? She's been bugging me about it."

"Why would she try to get you to find it?"

"I don't know. I saw it hanging out around the school gate once and she's been asking me if it has been back ever since then."

"That's a bit weird." He decided not to ask Sunohara what the cat had been doing there, because there was no way he could possibly know. "I guess I'll keep an eye out." _If she met the cat in her school days, it should be pretty old by now. Cats don't really travel far from their territory, especially not at that age._

At some point he walked out, finding it was dark already. He could hope that the head of the third years would go to bat for him, since it seemed like the man was convinced by the story he had laid out, and Kotomi must have told that teacher her side, but it was a real possibility he would have his diploma revoked. Hikarizaka private needed to keep its rating, and it could not let students cheat on the finals under any circumstances. _I only wish they would've given me the benefit of the doubt... well, that's the bed I made for myself, isn't it?_

He got home to his father, who told him there had been a call.

"It seemed to have been from the school. They had a few questions." _Well, that guy did say he would call the house. I guess that meant he wasn't going to wait to see if I happened to be home._

"What did you tell them?"

"They just wanted to know about your study habits. I told them all about how you work hard every evening." _That's right. That's what he thinks I'm doing rather than torturing myself with visions. At least I didn't do anything today. The last thing I need is another dream about the future or something._

"Thanks, Dad. I need to get an early start tomorrow," he said, hastily eating. "I have a job- well, I don't think they need to interview me. I'll just start."

"I knew you would get a job you liked." _I didn't say I liked it._ "I've been telling people at work that all these years will finally pay off now that you're graduating. I was so worried when you stopped playing basketball."

"Dad..."

_Should I tell him? What good will it do? Is that the real reason I've never told him that he injured me, not because I wanted him to think I just quit in order to spite him?_

"I know that's all in the past now. You're a good young man, Tomoya. You're better with girls than I was at your age. You'll be a good husband too."

_No, I won't._

The thought came unbidden. _Was I married? I guess I could've been... in that last vision, there was some relationship, but then it was over, and it had been over for a while. At that age it would have been serious, but how long had it been over?_

One of the calculations he had tried to do in his mind was the approximate ages of his friends in all his dreams. They were almost all young adults, but some of them might have been a year or two apart. Kyou could not have been more than two or three years older than she was in the present, however- the most she could have been was somewhere in her early twenties. _If that was my father's funeral, then as long as he stays alive for three years or so, that timeline will be averted._

Going up to bed, he decided that no matter what happened in the future, he should do his best to be a good husband if he ever did get married. If there were one thing he could say he learned from everything he had tried to do so far, it was that he had enough to consider between doing the right thing and doing the thing other people wanted, he was simply unable to consider anything else, like how things might turn out in the future. Doing the best he could would have to be good enough. _I'm not going to waste any time lying awake tonight._

He found himself in a suit, the black one he had on before, standing around under an awning shielding him from the rain. _Is this related to the other one? Am I going to see Kyou again?_

The business looked to be some kind of fancy hotel, and though he had actually never been there, he knew he was in Tokyo. The rain was really coming down, but most people were undeterred, going out in umbrellas, coats, and the unwavering immunity of simply being used to the rain. He felt a bit like a child, waiting under an awning, unable to go anywhere, but there was nothing for it. Whatever version of himself waiting here was unwilling to get the suit wet.

"Hi, Okazaki." He turned around to see a somewhat older Sakagami, dressed professionally. _This must be her future. Did I help her? What did I do?_

"Hi, Sakagami. It's been a while."

"Thanks for coming to see me." He followed her into the hotel, staring back at the people who were staring at him.

"It's how it has to be. You can't take time out of your life to come visit me." _How did I get to Tokyo, though? We never explained that._ "I've got pretty much nothing but time now." _Did I lose my job? I guess it could be some kind of national holiday, but I don't know what time of year it is._

They were in an elevator, not looking at each other.

"Have you talked to Kotomi?" Sakagami asked. "She's called me a few times from America."

"Not really. I don't know what I'd say to her."

"You could tell her how your life is once a week. I know she would like for you to call her." _It's probably some sort of bid to get me to steadily improve my life so I'll have something to tell her._

"I guess I could do that. She's coming here soon, though."

"Well, then you'll need something to tell her when she gets here."

The elevator stopped and they got out. _I know they're my friends, but it's still kind of weird how everyone's trying to cheer me up all the time._

"How's your job been going?" he asked.

"It's alright. I've been working to conserve fish populations in Southeast Asia to protect the submarine ecosystems."

"People eat those fish. That's what they've been eating for the past million years."

"That's right. That's why the first step to protecting endangered species is sustainable agriculture for tropical climates."

He let the topic drop. It definitely seemed like a lofty goal, but Sakagami was the one to accomplish it, if anyone could. _She must have been getting things done between this point and graduating high school... so when was this? How quickly could she really get through the ranks to where she's sitting on committees?_

They went into her room and the present version of Tomoya found himself relieved, oddly enough, that no clothes were coming off. She was beautiful, of course, even more so now than she had been in school, but it made things weird. He already hated the fact that his memories or what he thought were memories were giving him an unfair advantage with the girls in his class. _Well, that's over now that I've graduated. Having this dream at least confirms that the last dream was of someone else, though that was what I suspected._

"Have you been dating at all?" she asked him. He only shook his head. "It really has only been a little while. It's understandable."

"It's not that I think the same thing would just happen all over again. I don't know. Maybe I'll think about it in a year or so."

"Well, if you ever need to meet a girl, feel free to borrow my car if you happen to be in Tokyo." _I probably never thought I'd take her up on that._ "How's work?"

"It's alright. I don't have anything to buy except alcohol. I hated my dad most of my life and ended up turning into him."

"You don't have to be like your father. He just sort of gave up, didn't he? Why don't you help me get elected again?"

"It's pretty different from a high school election," he responded, chuckling slightly. "I really don't know how I would help you with where you are now." She tossed a thin book at him.

"Well, read this and figure it out... That can be what you're doing now."

"I don't know..."

"Is Kyou still talking to you?"

"No. I mean I haven't checked, but last time she threw something at me-"

"Then you don't have an excuse. From now on you're my campaign assistant part time." _She must have picked up a more assertive tone of voice at some point. I guess it goes with the territory._ "Go around town and ask people to vote for me."

"I'm not getting a haircut just for that. It's counterproductive to do something just to have something to do."

"Well, if you're too slovenly, you might cost me the election, because no one would want to vote for someone a loser supports. You'll have to really clean up your act." _She might have thought of this before I got here. It sounds a little rehearsed._

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"You're placing your future in the hands of how people see me."

"Is that such a bad thing? Maybe you'll start to see it as something important."

He shook his head.

"The last time I spoke to someone who wasn't an old friend, didn't know me from school- do you know what she said to me?" Sakagami shook her head. "Cradle to grave."

This time, waking up was oddly peaceful, at least in comparison to how he had woken up before. He saw the lights again, if only briefly, and sighed as he got his school things and started to write everything down before remembering he had to meet with Mitsurugi. _Damn. I'll get back to it._ Getting clothes on and going out at a reasonable pace, he tried to think of the expression 'cradle to grave' as he crossed the street.

 _At least I know that was the vision about Sakagami, so I must have done something to make her life better. It can't have been the election, because we took care of that a good while ago. All that happened yesterday was graduation and that whole disciplinary conference._ As he waited for a car to go by, he guessed that the vision could have been set off by the talk he had with her in the morning, but he had not really done anything at the time; she just told him about how her family situation had been.

"Hi, Mitsurugi," he said, guessing his friend had not been waiting long. "Thanks for arranging this for me."

"It's not a problem. You're getting my uncle off my back." _He's underselling it. This is probably better than any of the other jobs I could've gotten. At least I can take some amount of pride in it._

"I mean it, though. This has to be one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me, and if you don't want too much credit for it, that's fine, but it'd be ungrateful for me not to say anything."

They said nothing until arriving at the butchery, which was in the mall area near the school. _Damn._ He presumed that the rugby player had been telling his uncle all sorts of tales about how qualified he was, and it was going to be a challenge to live into them.

"Did you graduate?" an older man's voice asked as soon as he was in the store.

"Not with honors," Tomoya answered, trying to avoid being any more specific. "I can show you my diploma." _I have that, at least. Let's hope the school doesn't reverse it._

"No, that's all I need. You start today."

Mitsurugi walked out without the older man so much as looking at him. Squinting, he noticed the family name was Honda.

"No problem, Mr. Honda. What do I need to do first?"

"Get an apron on- you'll need a haircut in the near future." _Better than a hairnet, I guess._ He did as he was told. "Study the chart." There was a chart of cuts of meat for the benefit of the customers. He looked through most of the cuts and what part of the animal- "Now you need to learn how to clean things."

"What?"

"My nephew says you're a quick study." _He's testing me._

"I'm the definition of a quick study," he answered, remembering how quickly he had turned things around. _Well, Kotomi couldn't help me here if she wanted._ He followed along with the demonstration. There were more tools than he expected, and he had to clean each one of them thoroughly. _Or even if I wanted her to help me._

A customer came in while he was still cleaning tools, and he did not need to be told to keep at it while the butcher dealt with the customer. _Probably needs to see if I can do what I'm told. Wasn't really my strong suit in school, but at least I'll be getting paid._ He did wonder if the old man had dirtied more tools than necessary in advance of his showing up, or just put off cleaning them. _Oh, well, I shouldn't expect every boss to be nice. I needed to learn to clean them anyway._

The customer was out of the way and he had another task, namely dragging carcass remains out to the waste disposal. It smelled, but he guessed he could get used to that, if the butcher was not bothered by it. Generally the shop did not smell at all, which was weird considering what went on there. _I guess the whole place is just drowned in some kind of disinfectant every day._

The work day went by, more or less, and he found it harder and harder to remember the dream he had. By the time he was out, the only break he had taken was walking to the bakery for lunch. It kind of reminded him of school, a bit, but the bread was better as long as he did not get any of Sanae's, which was worse. When it was time to leave, he wanted to head to the dormitory, but he was tired and knew he could hardly stay there long. _I'm going to have to get used to working all day. There's just no two ways about it._

He met Sagara outside the dorm. There was only one thing on his mind.

"Have you ever heard the expression 'cradle to grave'?" he asked. "It came up recently and I just wanted to know why someone would say it like that, without any context."

"Have you seen my cat?"

"No, I really haven't looked, sorry."

"Oh, we found it, it was Sunohara, actually. He nearly tossed him into my room."

"I guess if you annoy him enough about something, he'll eventually do it."

"You look like you're about to collapse. Do you want to come in for a minute?"

"Yeah. I think I'll do just that."


	51. A Strange Cat

Sagara's tea gave him enough energy to listen to her story. She told him a little more about the strange boy she knew a long time ago. _It wasn't really all that long ago, so it's not unreasonable she would remember it... but why didn't she seem to remember it before?_

"How have you been, then?" he asked. "Now that you've found your cat and remembered everything."

"Well, now that you mention it, he really might have reminded me of things."

"I can sympathize."

"What?"

"Did you have a dream or something where you went through your whole past all over again?"

"No, it was just a few weeks from school. I can't help but think you've been through something similar." There was a knock at the door and the dorm mother went to get it. _Should I just tell her? What negative effect could it possibly have?_

At the door there was a younger student who was apparently moving in right as the graduates were moving out, which was when the fees were the lowest. _Let me guess, I know that from apartment hunting._ Sagara agreed to show him around the place if he needed it, but she was sure he could get one of the returning students to do it if he felt like it, and he might make a friend in the process.

"That's good advice," Tomoya commented. "Maybe he won't end up living with a cat for the rest of his life."

"Oh, hush, you. For the record, my memories made me realize that it's not such a bad thing I ended up with Chima. That's what I decided to name him." _He didn't have a name before. Some people never really name their cats in case the animal walks off._ He took a sip of his tea. _So why did she wait for him to disappear before giving him a name?_

"Was Chima someone you knew?"

"I feel like he was." She shook her head, stroking the cat on the chin. "It doesn't really matter, though. I feel like the moral of that story was that I should be happy with what I have, rather than chasing after the impossible."

"Like that guy who had a girlfriend?"

"Well, you know what I mean. The boy I met at the school gates offered me a wish every day, and in those days I couldn't really think of anything, when I was taking him seriously, and it felt like a wasted opportunity for a while, but when I look back on everything, the reason I did not have a wish was because I was mostly happy with the way things were. The fact that Igarashi had a girl he liked... well, that was fine. That was the product of who he was and who she was. I didn't want her to fall into a cement mixer and I didn't want him to stop liking her. He did, eventually, but that happens."

He could have thought up a joke, probably, but decided against it. There was some truth to her words, or at least it reminded him of the vision with Kotomi, where the alternate version of himself had said that he used to want things to change, and then finally when he wanted things to stop changing, they changed again. _Cradle to grave._

"Well, I hope you really have it figured out. I usually can't leave things alone until they're wrapped up."

"Of course not, you're a butcher now," Sagara responded, sticking a tongue out. "Mitsurugi told me. He's going to college."

"That's good for him. I'm done with academics."

"Academics are done with you too."

"Don't remind me. I'm still just hoping they don't cancel my diploma, or my boss will probably fire me."

"He'll probably fire you if you don't show up to work on time tomorrow. Off to bed, big boy."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going, cat lady."

He left the room, leaving the dormitory entirely. There were more people he might have liked to visit, but he did not have the energy, or really the time. _I guess it came with the self-imposed obligation to use it to help people, but I'm already starting to miss the time I had in school. I can't dick around for eight seconds at the butchery._

His father shook his hand, perhaps some sort of congratulatory ritual, but it was clear he had a few drinks. _Well, I guess I can't criticize him too much if I turn out like that._ They had a bit of a late supper, which was good, but a bit weird since he was treated to stories about his mother and her cooking. Eventually going up to his room, he tried to write a few things down before giving up and deciding to go to sleep.

 _If I get an early start tomorrow, maybe I can... No, that's not going to work. I'll just set my alarm to whatever time I need to get ready and get over there. I can't afford to show up five minutes late while I'm still making first impressions._ His overall impression of his employer was that he was stern, but it was impossible to characterize any of his decisions as unfair. He probably had a bit more of a lunch break than he needed, but that was balanced out by the fact that he really did not have any other breaks.

He reminded himself that it was a better job than most of the others he could have gotten, and his father had reminisced about the time he was just starting out as a young man trying to make it in business. 'Nobody cares about you when you are still young, Tomoya. The trick is getting older and keep working hard and then people will start taking you seriously.'

_Maybe I really can win that old guy over._

He was asleep before he knew it.

Across from him sat an older version of Sagara.

_Damn it._

"I heard you're still doing the same job," she said. They were in his apartment again.

"I heard the same thing about you."

"Well, I never really got tired of it. The work I have to put into helping people gets on my nerves from time to time, but their gratitude makes it all worth it. I think it gives me a purpose in my life."

"Which one of my friends sent you here?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she answered, taking a not entirely finished liquor bottle and pouring herself a glass. _I guess I did drink a good bit of her tea._ Trying to think about it in a different way, Tomoya reasoned that this version of himself must have at least known the dorm mother, which fit in most circumstances, since she lived near Sunohara. _I wonder if I tried to help her. I think in the Fuko vision her sister told me that I used to like to help people, specifically her and her husband._

"Probably not," he agreed, digging a flask out of his pants. "I'd just need to narrow down who all has a purpose in life to narrow it down." He took a drink. "Oh, wait, that's everyone."

"What about that blonde boy who used to live in the dorm?"

"He doesn't need one. I legitimately don't think he needs one; he'll just go through life every day the way we used to. I tried calling him once or twice... Sanae suggested it, but basically he doesn't care. He wouldn't work if he had the opportunity, but you won't catch him working for the opportunity to retire. I don't think he sees it as worth the effort."

"Do you want to end up like he did?"

"I wouldn't have wrecked my liver." He sighed. "The guy never had a reason to pick it up, because he never cared about anything. He's basically what I would've been if I went into a coma for the last year of high school."

"Do you think he's better off than you are now?"

"I'd have been able to tolerate the changes. All I wanted was change. I didn't hit rock bottom; I lived there, and I got used to it."

"You lost your mother before you were injured and had to give up sports." _How does she know that? Did I talk to her about that? I guess it could have been whoever 'put her up to it'._

"I'd already started sports by the time I lost her. I didn't want to lose that too, but that's what happened."

"So now you're back at rock bottom," Sagara observed, perhaps trying to get past the old wound.

"It's worse now. I have even more losses than I did before."

"What did you do when you were in a comparatively better place, then?" she asked, rhetorically. It seemed he would answer anyway.

"I helped people. I went around having adventures with the other students, ended up endearing myself to one of them in the process..."

"That made things better."

"For a time." He took another drink. "It created the opportunity to make things worse as well. I thought I couldn't go any lower than I had gone already, but I gave myself something to lose."

"Well, I disagree with the idea that you gave it to yourself," the dorm mother said. "You had a hand it in it, to be sure, but other people are responsible for their own actions as much as you are for yours. You don't monopolize responsibility." She sighed a little. "In my school days, I was class president."

"You told me." _Did she tell me that? I don't remember hearing about that._

"I always liked going around and resolving people's issues, but there were some things that were just not meant to be solved. There was a hospital nearby, and it was slated to come down, so they could relocate or something, but a lot of students were objecting because their parents would lose jobs over it."

"Sounds like a problem."

"It was, for them. More people appreciated the arrangement because the hospital was in a more convenient location. I didn't really know that would happen, though, I just blocked the student council from making any kind of sanctimonious statement about how it was wrong of them to move it. There wasn't a solution to that, they knew there was no solution, but they wanted to complain about it in the form of a statement, and I shut it down."

"Well, that's good for you," the future version of himself decided. "It sounds a lot like some of the people who live with you."

"They don't really complain about anything that's my fault, since they like me. I just wish people wouldn't complain about things when there is a solution." _Like getting bad grades when you could be studying or something?_

"It's one of those things where you've just heard something so many times it doesn't work anymore. It's like people who want to lose weight or something. They keep hearing the same obvious, scientific advice of not overeating, and they're just tired of hearing it, so they go on quests looking for some ancient ritual or alien technology that they can use to lose weight. It's not really that they're morons, they just don't care about the truth."

"Well, I hope you learned something."

"You could say that," he said, watching her get up. _At least open the door or something._ "You could say I learned that if there really isn't a solution, then I shouldn't be too bothered if people are complaining about it."

"Don't complain about it yourself, either," Sagara negotiated, leaving.

Tomoya woke to the bright lights. They seemed brighter this time, but perhaps there were just more of them. Getting out of bed, there were only a few things he wanted to take down, and he could probably remember the rest if he had those; he learned that much in history class. If he wrote down the last thing that happened in a long series of events, he could think about what caused those events. Going to work again, Mitsurugi had been right in thinking he would hardly need help getting there a second time.

 _I mean, he could've just told me what it was, but maybe he wanted to see his uncle or something._ He frowned a bit. It was possible he had another friend in need of help, but he had no idea whether it would cause another vision. It had to be at least three of them that he had seen in a row. _I know it has to be someone who made some sort of reappearance in my future._

Previously, he had entertained a notion of helping some really old person who was guaranteed not to reprise any roles, but it was not as if he knew any old people. His father was likely to be around for another ten to twenty years. It was hard to find anyone over a hundred, though he knew Japan had her fair share. He shook his head. _What would that even tell me? That if they die, they don't appear in my future? Or would I just have some sort of dream where I stared at their graves?_

Work was uninteresting, but he carried out every task exactly as asked. He did not particularly care what his boss's deal was, or if this was just professionalism gone insane, but he would not ask either way. The idea of being terminated on the second day scared him out of his mind. _I don't think I was ever this scared about being expelled because I always thought I could just go get a job somewhere._

When he got out at lunch, he walked straight to the bakery without much thought. Last time only Sanae had been there, and she was busy with other customers, so he had decided not to take up too much of her time. This time, Nagisa was helping out.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better," he observed.

"I am. Thank you for taking me home that one time."

"Well, I owe you and your dad for getting me out of that-"

"It's better not to talk about it," she cautioned. _Well, she's right, but no one would care anyway._ "Anyway, how is work?"

"It's alright, actually. I like how it's done as soon as my shift is over and I don't have to worry about anything until the next morning."

"I can see how you would like that," she said. He bought his bread, making sure to avoid anything made by her mother.

"I'm lazy?"

"Um... no, you're just... contemplative," she said at length. "You seem to value having leisure time." _I didn't know she was noticing things about me._

"Oh, well, it'd have been fine if you called me lazy. Basically anyone could call me that after the last few years and I wouldn't have any right to get mad."

"Well, I don't think you're lazy," she said. "It would also be unfair to call you that, even if I did, because I wouldn't know much about your life."

The response had him on the back foot for a moment. There was nothing he could say to that. _That's the first time anyone's ever turned down an opportunity to insult me in some way._

He finished his lunch and left, trying to make polite conversation with Akio when he came out of the kitchen. He seemed more amicable than he had been before, probably because Tomoya had graduated and would not be spending every day with his daughter anymore. It was possible the girl had filled his ears about how he was a good young man, but if he was a normal father, there was nothing so suspicious as a guy his daughter liked. He remembered the man seemed to think that he was obsessed with his daughter's butt, causing him to pause as he left the store.

_Don't think I've ever really looked._

Nagisa was helping a customer when he looked back. She wore a long hoodie over her skirt, but he could still make out- _Crash -_ Moving back instinctively, he found an aluminum bat had made its way through the window. _Probably another one after that. I must have been able to see it through the glare in the glass... unless it was just a feeling of foreboding that I had._

Making his way back to work, he hoped the Furukawa head of household had more restraint than to throw a bat through the window every time a man who found his daughter attractive stood on the other side of it. _No, he'll probably only do it if she's been singing his praises._ He shook his head. If there was one comforting notion to take away from the disappointment that she was wrong about him it was that he did not have to worry about whether or not his true nature lived up to her expectations, and therefore he would never have to worry she would find out about that.

Honda set him right back to work as soon as he returned, though his break might not have been over yet. He remembered avoiding her earlier in the year, though if she were connected with the calamity, he could hardly imagine how keeping his distance would do any good if the future was guaranteed. _If it's not guaranteed, I'll just have to think of some way of stopping whatever happened._


	52. Unpleasant Details

Tomoya was allowed to butcher an animal just after the last customer left. It was not quitting time, but Honda had run the place for thirty years or so and he knew when no one else was going to show up.

"We'll start you with a chicken so we don't lose much if you fuck it up."

"Very well, sir."

The basic trick to it was that if you had the animal alive up until butchering it, you were ultimately saving time, because otherwise you would be paying someone else for the time it took to get it started. The butcher could not realistically do the same with any other animal, so for cattle and hogs he usually bought the carcasses in sides. The clucking of the living birds that you could hear from the back of the shop was part of the shop's brand; it gave the place a sense of authenticity.

"Just about nothing's changed since I opened up this shop, Okazaki," Honda had commented on the subject. "People like it. They like knowing what goes into their food."

There was a metal cone with no point hanging from the wall, which was where Tomoya was instructed to put the chicken's head through. Unable to raise his arms above his shoulders, he got on top of a crate, noticing a raise of an eyebrow as he fed the animal through the cone. He had a thought that he would use a cleaver to sever its head, but there was actually a weird pair of scissors for that. It took about thirty seconds to drain the blood. Following that, they had a big pot of boiling water, into which he had to momentarily lower the chicken to sanitize it and loosen the feathers.

"This ever happen while you've got someone in the shop?" he asked.

"From time to time, yes, there will be a customer who wants to watch. Boys, mostly. Ladies not so much."

Taking the animal out of the water and putting it on a steel bench, which reminded him of a lab table, he plucked the feathers in short order. Apparently there was a machine that would get it done with less work, and well enough to call it done, but it took a minute longer and it took up too much floor space. He did not take a chance leaving the slightest amount of fluff on the skin, lest he find himself getting corrected again. _Maybe that's the whole point of constantly correcting me on everything. I'm supposed to be thinking about the kinds of things he would notice._

He cut off the rest of the animal's neck with the same pair of scissors, noting that the windpipe was sticking out. He had seen a whole chicken before, though, and that was enough to know that the organs came out the back. Turning it around, he was asked to cut the feet off at the tendons, not cutting the bone, careful not to cut the bone, and he did as asked before putting the knife back in above the bint and basically removing a circle, enough to drag the organs out, thankful he was wearing gloves because of the smell alone, not to mention the way the innards felt. He had an odd sense of sympathy for the animal as he noticed its organs were virtually the same as human organs, though he was pretty sure he lacked a gizzard.

"Better to get the organs out all in one piece. You can only really use the liver, so cut that out once they're on the table, but I'll have to stab you if you hit the gallbladder." Not knowing whether or not to take the man seriously, Tomoya took him at his word and was careful not to touch the dark green organ. He went ahead and cut the gizzards out of the organs, because he had some idea they were useful for something. The bird was basically clean as it was, but to make it look better, they would pass it through the boiling water again.

That was pretty much the end of the day, so he went home. He passed by some places he recognized, taking a different route to avoid a suspicious character in the dark. When he got home, the suspicious character was waiting for him.

"Can I help you?"

"You already have." Miyazawa came out of the dark. "It just took me all this time to realize it."

He was a bit taken aback, because he had not seen her in days, but he did his best to stay in control.

"What did I do?"

"You were right. I shouldn't have been trying to kill that guy. It's so obvious to me now, that it hurts just to think about it. I was so obsessed, though, I almost threw my whole life away in the process."

"Are you going to college?"

"No, not like that," she said, shaking her head. "I might still go, since I have another year; I just hope I can make up for all the absences I had."

"I'm sorry I tried to-"

"No, I know why you did that. To make a long story short, you helped me see there was someone I really wanted to be all along, and that was the girl I was pretending to be at school. If there's anything I can do for you-"

"When did you realize it?" he asked. "Sorry, that's an odd question. I was just thinking were you looking for me this whole time, or did you just decide today-"

"I realized it a few days ago. I've been so... ashamed, though, that it was hard..."

"I wasn't blaming you or anything-" Miyazawa raised a hand.

"That wasn't a real favor, then. I want to do something for you."

He thought about it.

"Well, don't do something for me. You've already done more than you realize, making me think about things in a different way, and I'm not going to be at school anymore. Be nice to Furukawa and Sakagami for me."

"That won't be too hard. Would you like a book on anything?"

"I'm sure I'll think of something."

"Oh, you're probably tired now... I'll let you go home."

Tomoya wanted to tell her she was not bothering him, but he really was tired. He was glad that things were going to work out for her now, but before knowing that he would not have regretted his actions. He knew, before anything else, that he had done the right thing, and that was enough to help him sleep at night. _At least I won't have another damn dream about the future. I already knew it wasn't being thanked that counted, since Fuko's sister didn't say anything until later._

Eating with his father again, they were quiet this time, leaving him to his thoughts. In truth the visions he had were insightful, and he figured out a little more about how things worked every time he saw one, but he really couldn't stand watching himself become some sort of monster, and if anything it could at least wait for a weekend so he could write it down. _I wouldn't ever be that lucky. What I hate is the fact that I don't even know what the calamity is. If I went back in time in a time machine, you'd think I would at least know what I'm trying to prevent._

He sighed as he went up to his room, deciding it must have been involuntary. Sometimes it seemed more like he had the gift of prophecy, like some kind of priest from ancient literature, but really he could not see why he did not have that the first time, unless of course he did, and it was all on rails doomed to repeat for eternity. _I feel like things repeat sometimes, though- that's another possible reason why I got a good score on the exam._

Getting in bed, he went to sleep, and woke up in what felt like a few seconds, meaning he almost certainly did not have any dreams. _I'll probably be exhausted if I keep sleeping fitfully every night. Maybe I'll have more energy now. No- there was a long stretch where I didn't have visions and those days weren't any better._

At work, he was cleaning tools and keeping the butchery looking nice when there was a phone call. His presumption was that Honda would get it, because he hardly knew what to say, but the boss was dealing witch customers. _It's probably better to have him correct me than miss the call entirely._ Picking it up, he held the phone away from him for a second because there was no volume control.

"OKAZAKI!..." It was Sunohara's voice.

"Don't call me at work."

"I don't know any other number-"

"There might be a reason for that."

The butcher met his eyes as he looked over his shoulder.

"Just take the call; it's probably better than letting this stew, whatever it is. I'm busy."

"Thank you, sir." He turned back to the call.

"I got the job!"

"Well, that's cool, what are you doing?"

"I'm a production assistant."

"That's about what I figured."

"Well, it's how you get started around here. Anyway, I wanted to thank you."

"What did I do?" There was a pause.

"I guess I always thought that if you couldn't do something, then I couldn't do it either. I saw you throwing your back out every day trying to get things fixed for people, and at some point I guess I decided maybe I could put effort into something. I didn't really get around to it until you had my sister breathing down my neck, and you may not remember doing it, but you really distracted her long enough, thinking I had a job lined up until I could get one lined up."

Tomoya gulped. "So you've got a job now; everything's squared away?"

"I haven't told my sister yet, so there's that, but I felt like telling you first."

"Well, you're welcome," he said, hanging up. _I hope the dream's not about Sunohara. I really hope it's any other damn thing._

Getting back to work, he tried not to think about it until he was let out for lunch, and a cyclist almost hit him as he crossed the street. _Damn. Can't space out like that._ He reached the bakery, deciding there was no sense worrying about it, since he had no control over whether or not he would be having visions. Nagisa was there again, though this time she was at a table doing what looked like schoolwork. _She's probably studying what she missed. She'll have plenty of time during the beginning of the year, since she's already been exposed to that stuff twice._

"Oh, do you want bread again?" she asked as she saw him. "Don't worry about the register, I'll get it for you." She gave him what he got last time. "How are you?"

"I'm doing okay; it looks like Sunohara's got a real job now."

"Oh, so you were worried about him." Tomoya frowned.

"I wasn't worried about him-"

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant-" Nagisa said, waving her hands ambiguously. "I had complete confidence that he could get a job-"

"Well I didn't." He took a bite of bread. "I just wasn't worried about it. If it's a dude I let him take care of his own problems. That's what I'd rather have."

"I mean... that's fine, but I think you just don't want anyone to catch you being nice to him, since you were always mean to him."

"Why would I want that?"

"It's not based on anything you've done... it's just based on stories my dad told me."

"Oh, okay. Well, he and I are friends, I guess, but not really the kind of friends that like to be up all night worrying about each other. I was mainly concerned that his sister would be all sad."

"Is his sister... close to you?"

"No, she's like in middle school out in the country or something. I'm not interested." He finished up his bread.

"Well, obviously... you should probably go back now."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I like coming here, though," he said, getting up and leaving. _Why did I tell her that? I mean, I've known it for a while- this place never had the same problems as school, where I'd run into people from my visions._

Returning to work, he timed the crossings a little better than he had the first time. It occurred to him that there were apartments nearby that he could rent out and be closer to work, but he was not required to show up at the crack of dawn, though that was not the only reason. In all the visions, he lived in an apartment and could not help but feel like that was connected to what happened. He knew he could not stay in his dad's house forever, but as long as he could put it off, he would possibly be able to get away from that timeline. His wispy notion of moving to Sapporo after graduating was almost certain to not happen, since as far as he knew the school was still going to cancel his scores.

 _I have to stay away from that timeline. If it was really my father's funeral that I attended... well, staying home with him will probably put it off some at least. Most old people die of heart attacks, strokes- if I'm home, I could notice it and call an ambulance._ He chuckled to himself as he got back to the butchery. It was doubtful any girls would buy the line that he only lived at home to take care of his elderly father, especially since the man had never had any health scares before. Perhaps there was some obligation to consider such behavior sweet, but it was unattractive in the caveman sense that physically registered.

Getting back to work before the boss was back, he kept his eyes on the tools he was cleaning, mostly knives. He had unintentionally reminded himself that he had an advantage over most young men in the sense that his maturity was probably a bit greater than theirs, and that combined with his disinterested attitude high school students mistook for being cool, it surprised him a little less that as many young women had been interested. _Sakagami or Kyou probably would have made the most sense... I just can't look at either of them now that I've seen their future._

He reminded himself he was not interested enough in Fujibayashi while they were dating, and if he had seen anything in her, he would have seen it then. _Unless she was trying to keep things hidden from me, since I already knew she liked me._ Ever since deciding to leave her, he had not been able to stop thinking about her. _Well, that's because of the damn dream._

Work let off a little more quickly than he expected, and he found himself wanting to go back to the bakery, but he just knew there was still something up with Mitsurugi. _He should know what he's doing in college at this point. If I just call him and ask him, though, he could find some way of hanging up. It'd probably be even worse to make it something about the job._

He wanted to go to the dormitory, but he had no idea if his friend was still there, and he could be almost certain that Sagara was. It was not as if he had to go talk to her or anything, but she would wonder if he evaded her questions, which he had every intention of doing. After the last few slip-ups, he no longer knew which version of himself would answer her.

He found himself hanging out in the park. _I could go see Kotomi, I guess... she'd still be at home, and I could ask her how it went when she got questioned._ He hung his head. _But I already know. She doesn't want to be seen with me, now that they suspect I was using her for sex or test results, whatever disgusting thing they think I did this time._ He raised his head, his eyes glistening. _They've almost certainly gotten to Kyou._

Someone was sitting next to him.

"I saw you out here."

"You always do," he muttered back.

"Do you want to have supper with us?"

"Can we pretend it isn't because you found me in the park and figured I was upset about something?" Nagisa smiled.

"Of course!" she answered with an odd sense of excitement. _Probably doesn't put much past her parents. This should be new for her._

They went into the bakery while Sanae was getting supper ready.

"You're not going to eat with your father today?" she asked. "I do not mean to intrude. I had heard you were making things better."

"It's fine; I think we've reached an understanding, basically. Besides, when your daughter offers a chance to come over here, I just can't resist. It seems like you have the perfect family." Akio looked to the side. _I'm glad they took care of most of that conversation. Wait- how did I know there was more to the story? Was I close to Nagisa in the other timeline?_ Sanae had told him that the two of them had basically given up their careers in theater because of their daughter, but they never wanted her to feel guilty for it.

_There was something else, though, wasn't there?_


	53. Customers

Tomoya ended up going home that evening, not wanting to worry the Furukawa family about how he was getting on with his father. _Honestly, it's as good as it's going to get right this second. I don't know why Kotomi and Nagisa seem to expect that we're going to be sharing secrets and having tea parties. I think Sakagami might have more realistic expectations._ He sighed. _Not that I'll be talking to her._

On his way to work the following morning, he waved to Yoshino, briefly entertaining the idea of working alongside him. He guessed that he could learn to do it, but he really knew little about electronics, which was the requisite field. _Butchery is something you can really only learn on the job anyway. Lucky me._

It was almost a certainty that the old man only hired him because Mitsurugi hyped him up, probably more than he even believed himself, and all he could do was live up to it, unless getting let go was already on the table. _He probably wouldn't have bothered if I hadn't bothered to get more serious about academics. That has to be one of the things he told his uncle, that I went from being an idiot who didn't know anything to answering all the questions in class just because I decided to apply myself. Well, that and the gift of prophecy or whatever this is._

His employment, therefore, was about as precarious as his final scores. _They've already come to a final decision on those. Let's hope the reason they haven't told me is because it's something good. That one teacher who went to my house once would at least be decent enough to warn me if they were really cancelling my scores._

"Morning, Okazaki," Honda said as he walked in, grabbing his apron from the rack.

"Morning, sir," he responded, not commenting on the friendly greeting being different from the norm. _Worst thing you can do when a man starts to be nice to you is make a big deal out of it._ There was never anything to clean this early, so he looked over the books to see if they had any orders. Apparently, there were customers who wanted meat delivered rather than going to pick it up themselves, but the boss thought it was a dumb idea so he set an exorbitant minimum tip.

"Why would you want it delivered?" he had asked the day before, holding the phone away from him. "Then you can't see what's in stock." He held the phone away again. "See, now they're asking if we have any filet under 200 grams- who the hell carries filet like that anyway?"

Tomoya had not known how to respond, but he figured a particularly lucrative way of responding would be taking the deliveries himself, since he could borrow the butcher's car in the process. The truth was, any customer ordering a delivery probably had a large order that would have been a pain to pick up, and with a proportional tip, it was always worth the time. _I would be working in the shop anyway._

Most of the time he would not have to worry about the gas tank, because most of the orders came from inside of town, but it would be impolite to leave his boss with anything less than a quarter tank, so he would fill up on the way back if necessary. He was on his way out the door when the boss asked what he was doing outside.

"There's a customer that wants a delivery by ten."

"It's only nine. Shouldn't take more than thirty minutes to get there."

"Oh, okay, I interpreted 'by ten' as-"

"I know what you meant. Frankly, I'm glad you're willing to take care of it. All the horn-honking on that one street with the motorcycle gang- it's been getting to my ears." _Well, that explains part of the reason the tips are so high._ "Oh, and when this next guy leaves, we're running low on beef cuts. Best to start a new side while it's still early.

He got to work as soon as a customer came in, though he was not taking orders yet; he was writing down the specials and deals of the day on a chalkboard. They used a rotating list, but no customer ever came in often enough to figure that out and predict what would be on sale when. Today they were having a sale on pork.

"Do you have eggs?" someone asked, almost certainly guessing it was worth the asking from the clucking sound.

"No sir, those birds just come here to die."

There was a pause. _Was that a joke?_

"Okay, well, then I'll have some back bacon."

"No problem," Tomoya reached over the counter and slid the appropriate plastic door open so that Honda could get it from the other side. He went back to chalking the specials, which was done soon enough. _After this I need to get a side of beef out of the freezer and cut it; the display is almost out._

Going back behind the counter, he said he was going to get a new side out, and was answered only by a request to use the chart and the scale. He had seen it done once so far, and it appeared to be simple enough, but he had to be careful to get all the meat off the carcass, and the boss would not be too pleased if it took him an hour to get it done.

First he would have to quarter it with a saw, the hind legs being the round, the front legs and the chest being the chuck, and the loin and the rib between those. He cut off what was called an oyster steak off the top of the round as soon as he separated that from the loin, then decided he should finish with the round before firing up the saw again for the sake of a clearer workspace and less clutter. Cutting tendons, he removed the aitch bone, which was what the chart called it anyway, then moving on to the lower part of the leg called the shank, which was a tough cut and made him think about using the saw again.

He was probably putting too much effort into getting the top round off, because he found it was only tenuously attacked in the first place. Trimming the femur out because it looked like he could get away with that before doing anything else, and that exposed the knuckle, which he could roll off like the top round. He then sliced the eye round and the heel from the bottom round. He cleaned most of the cuts, getting rid of the fat where the chart said to get rid of the fat, and cleaning for blood in all cases. It was when he was cutting the knuckle into sirloin steaks that he was called to the front.

There were some tools to clean, but more importantly he had to get the delivery done, and he had let time get away from him while absorbing himself in the task of breaking down the side of beef. He bowed quickly before going out with the customer's order and driving. He had driven around a couple times before, mostly to get his father off his back about it after quitting basketball. At the time, it seemed like his old man thought there were only two things he could have been; a basketball player or a salaryman who drove to work everyday, but really it was more complicated than that. _Thanks, I guess. Now I at least know how to handle the damn thing._

He was probably going slower than necessary, but the last thing he wanted to do was crash, and the second to last thing he wanted to do was violate some sort of traffic law. It was pretty certain he was going to be there on time anyway, and if the customer wanted it by ten, they were probably ordering it early in the first place. Pulling up about ten minutes late per the time on the radio, he walked the order to the door, hoping they would not notice.

"I'm not paying for this."

"Okay, I'll go back then."

"Just put it on my tab or something."

"You don't have one." Tomoya was guessing, but he would not mind being corrected. "Do you have the total or what?"

"I'm calling your manager. If I order in advance and say it's supposed to be here by ten-"

"We're not under any obligation to give you anything until we're paid. My manager will say the same thing, but go ahead and call him anyway; he's the only one in the store. I'm getting paid to be out here arguing with you because it's still worth selling, so keep wasting everyone's time."

"Take it back, then. I said I'm not paying for it any I'm not."

He left without a second thought. The customer was doing something that was annoying, because he was making the butchery waste time and miss out on a sale, and only because he had it in his head that he could get it for free if he complained enough, but Tomoya was pretty sure Honda only did deliveries because of the exorbitant tips he charged, so there was no circumstance where they were giving something away for free; it was not as if the two of them were running a trillion yen corporation and would rather pacify an angry customer than stick to principle.

Getting back to the store, he guessed Honda was in the meat locker cutting up the rest of the side of beef, so he set about cleaning tools that had already been used and putting away the chicken breasts the customer had ordered. Ideally they would need to be sold that day, so he went ahead and put them in the display.

"What was the problem, Okazaki?" the older man called from the back of the shop. "Didn't even take you thirty minutes to get there." _Huh. Must have divided the elapsed time in half._

"He didn't call you? He wouldn't pay for it because it was ten minutes late."

"What was the problem that caused that?"

"Well, it was late because I wasn't looking at the time." _I was also late because I couldn't deliver it early. Well, then he'd have complained that it was early._

"I ask you to break down a cow, and you've got thirty minutes before you've got to leave, what do you do next time?"

"I guess I'll say that I can get started on it, but there's no way I'd finish." He had just sort of assumed if Honda wanted it done, he would take care of it while there were no customers in the shop. They were in a meat locker, so it was not as if the meat would go bad if he did not finish cutting it. If anything, taking it to the display case would shorten the life of the cuts. _That's not what this is about, then._ "I guess it's also probably not good to get so... I don't know, proactive that I don't finish things when I start them."

"Now you're starting to get it. I don't like laziness, and you can be damn sure of that, but I can tell the difference between being lazy and being cost-effective. Don't try to impress me." The butcher had not left the meat locker at any point while speaking.

The comment stung a bit. He had kind of gone in with the notion that he was supposed to try to impress the boss, and that was a common thing, but when he thought about it, really that boiled down to a communication error. The employees were trying to signal that they were good, valuable employees, but they did so without asking what their employers wanted from them, because otherwise it would not be 'going above and beyond'. _There's a difference between impressing the boss and surprising the boss. Bosses can be impressed with consistency and diligence. Surprises aren't always good._

He was learning lessons he felt he had already learned before, but it was better than school, where he could swear he heard the same exact thing in the other timeline. _Oh well, I guess I'm the kind of guy who learns lessons a little late. I didn't even have a clue what I would be doing for work until the week I graduated._

Getting off work for lunch, he went to the bakery as always. The bread there was affordable and he liked talking to Nagisa, who was steadily moving away from her family name, at least in his head. _I mean, that makes sense. If I see her in her home with her family all the time, I can really only refer to her by her own name._ This time, she surprised him a little by waving to him on the park bench in front of the shop.

"Are you going to be a regular?" she asked.

"It's starting to look like that."

"Well, my parents say that regulars normally get special treatment, so I went ahead and got some bread for you."

"Oh, that's nice, that saves me from having to wait at all," he said, getting out the appropriate change. _It also means I don't know what the price is, assuming it's different every day._ "Have you caught up on your schoolwork?"

"Yes, I'm probably the most familiar with senior year material out of the whole school. I hope I can beat Sakagami's test scores this coming year."

"I hope you can too."

He did not need to say that his expression of hope rather than confidence came from the fact that they could only hope she was well enough. He knew she was determined to succeed, and he knew that even if she missed another few months she would probably be fine, because she would still have enough credits to graduate, but neither of them enjoyed the fact that there were forces beyond her control that would determine whether or not she could take her finals. _Guess when you've got everything else decided for you, you've just got to make your remaining choices count._

"Do you want to meet out here every day?" he asked. "If it's too much trouble, you don't have to, but-"

"I would like that..." Nagisa answered, trailing off a little. She seemed nervous. _Can't be as bad as Fujibayashi._

"That's great," he said, eating his bread. "If you or your parents ever go to the butcher shop- well, I don't own it, but I'll see what I can do." The girl next to him smiled back.

"It wasn't any trouble. I'm actually... being a bit selfish..." she admitted, looking down.

"That's okay, you can be a bit selfish once in a while. It's not costing me anything."

"But... well, you could be doing anything. You could be hanging out with anyone..."

He felt like he would be lying if he did not tell her how it was.

"Well, don't feel bad about that. I'm here on my lunch break. There's not many places I really want to go, but it works out since I like hanging out here."

"I know. You came to visit me when I was sick." _I mean I could tell you I didn't just visit because it was fun, but also because I wanted to see how you were doing... Should I say that, though?_

They both ate in silence for a moment, watching the park. He found it odd that he was looking for suspicious characters in the middle of the day, but it was an easy habit to pick up, he guessed. A sense of obligation welled up.

"Do you want to go somewhere, now that you're better? Maybe this evening?"

"Okay. Where should I meet you?" she asked, smiling.

"I guess we could meet out here. Is there any place you want-"

"Mom says I should always let the boy pick where we go for our first date." Tomoya felt himself go a little red. He had not expected that interpretation.

"I guess it is a date." Nagisa nodded.

"It is. I'm happy to be going on one."

He supposed he never knew of a time the girl had been on a date, though he had been on quite a few at this point, mostly with the sisters, if not entirely, depending on whether or not he could count hanging out with Sakagami. Had he wanted, he guessed he could have had a date with her. _That wouldn't work. I've got a grown man's sense of responsibility sticking out every so often._

Returning to work, he answered a few questions for a customer before ringing up her purchase, not seeing the boss anywhere. Quietly he supposed it was lucky he came back when he did, since they would have lost the sale otherwise. She wanted five chuck ribs, a whole plate, and it cost her a fair bit, which he had to calculate on the spot. _Now I see why he usually wants to handle it himself._ He tried making small talk to distract her, finding that she was visiting.

"Oh yes, my daughter's starting school here soon. I thought I would look around and see if I could find any of the poor influences on my son."

_Damn._


	54. Working and Dating

Tomoya decided it was not a perfect certainty that he was talking to Sunohara's mother. There had to be more women with two children in that age range. It was just the kind of coincidence that would happen to him and he would take it for granted as always.

"What kind of meat do you want?" he asked. _I never had the damn dream._

"What's recommended?" He fought the urge to shrug.

"I cut this oyster steak myself. Is it a special occasion?"

"Yes, I've decided to have a family meal with my son and daughter again. My daughter's been living at home, but my son has apparently been eating nothing but pork cutlet bowls-" He nearly dropped the gloves he was putting on. "I'm sorry, is there something wrong?"

"No, I'm just- you wouldn't happen to be Mrs. Sunohara, would you?"

"How did you know?"

"I'm Okazaki. Your son might have mentioned me."

"I pictured you with longer hair."

"Well, I shortened it a bit with a pair of scissors because my boss said I needed a haircut. I really hope he didn't mean I need one like his, because I'm kind of attached to the look, but-"

"Oh, that's right, he said you had plans to work in a butcher shop. I just didn't expect to run into you."

"Well, I'm not too surprised to run into you. How is he doing?" he asked, weighing the meat unnecessarily.

"He won't tell me." She put her hands up. "It's the strangest thing; he gets a new job and not a word about it."

"Well, he's doing what he wanted to do. I'll let him tell you about it over the meal you planned out to get him to talk about it. Is he in town?"

"Yes, he had some business with the school; something about a signature on his transcript." _Probably forged it. Can't imagine how._

"Did you drive him back?"

"No, he took a train. He says he's been missing home cooked meals." _I've been missing them too._

Sunohara's mother left without any further regard, and around that time Honda came back.

"Running an errand, sir?"

"Got it in one, Okazaki. We ran out of cleaning fluids and needed a new whetstone. I ever show you how to sharpen a knife?"

"Don't think you have, sir. You could have asked me to go get something like that-"

"If you don't know how to use one, you're not going to be buying one. I didn't have to get in the car or anything; it was only a few blocks away." _I would have noticed if the car were not there. I didn't, but I didn't make the connection either._

"Okay, well why don't we do that while there's no one around?" he asked.

"I'm expecting a bit of a rush today. It's better to take care of it tomorrow." Tomoya nodded. Thus far, his boss had not said anything about his hair, which meant he could keep it that long, at least for the near future. It was not as if it would cost him anything; his father had been cutting his own hair for over a decade and had invested in a pair of shears.

Honda turned out to be right, unsurprisingly, but the work went by quickly. He found himself cleaning a lot, mostly tools and the workspace, but the old man knew he had served one customer, which would prove something, whether he liked it or not. The day went by a little more quickly than expected, possibly because he felt less stressed than he had before. Still careful not to make mistakes, he ran over time a bit sweeping up the floor before he left. Sometimes he felt like dead weight, since he guessed that at least in his younger days, the butcher could have done everything himself, but every so often he felt needed, and it was a good feeling.

He met his date where he expected to find her, though she had a strange expression. She looked apprehensive, but it was concealed when she saw him. _Am I late or something? We never agreed on a time._

"Hi, Nagisa," he said, noticing her reaction. "What?"

"Oh, it's just... you've never called me that before. I was about to say I was sorry I guessed it was a date instead of letting you tell me."

"You'd have guessed it anyway. I like being around you. It's easy to talk to you."

"Um... where are we going?" she asked, perhaps as a means of changing the subject.

"Well, there's a family restaurant where Nishina and Sugisaka work if you're willing to walk the whole way."

"How long should it take us to get there?"

"Like twenty minutes, I guess. It's not far, but there's a parking lot I think, so most people probably drive."

"That makes sense. Kids usually don't have the patience to walk that far. They would also tire out more easily."

"Is that a bad thing, though? If parents walked their kids to restaurants, they would be a lot quieter." Nagisa giggled.

"Do you like kids?" she asked.

"I mean if it sounds like I hate them, I don't, but I wouldn't really know what to do with them if I were working in a restaurant."

"I don't think I would mind if kids were laughing and being happy-"

"Well, no, but what about when they're crying or complaining or screaming? I feel bad for their parents because they've got to be embarrassed; like no matter what you do if your kid is acting up you're a terrible parent. He supposed it was pretty rare he had seen that sort of behavior, but it was not that often that he went to family restaurants. _I guess child-rearing is also kind of a matter of culture. I really don't know about kids being better behaved in any other country._

They got to the restaurant, and as he expected, there was a kid screaming. He knew better than to make a big deal of it, but he made a point of picking a table that was as far away as possible. Nishina came over to see them.

"Hi, are you two ready to order?"

"Not yet, I've never been here before," Tomoya explained, looking over the menu.

"Why is that kid upset?" Nagisa asked.

"I don't know. Sugisaka is handling it." They looked over as their waitress gave her answer. "She's managed to improve her attitude a lot."

"I mean she wasn't that mean in the first place. I really don't know what her deal was."

"It's complicated. I don't think she wants me to explain it."

Nagisa handed her the menu.

"I'll have a strawberry shake, thank you," she said, smiling. "One check." _It's not even remotely time to tell her that._

Nishina smiled.

"I'll have a club sandwich and fries, thank you." He surrendered the menu. From his dreams about being an alcoholic, he had started to get an idea about saving money. Really, he was not even on his own budget at the moment, but it was better to get into conservative spending habits. Presently, he had some idea that they were supposed to be talking about each other. "What do you like to do?" he asked. "Like... when you're not sick."

"I like to write," she said. "Even when I don't feel well enough to do anything, I can still think of stories. Sometimes I even think of them in my sleep."

"Is that why you want to write for a tv show?" he asked. "I know you needed something with a flexible schedule..."

"That's because you already know about me," Nagisa said. "What about you, though? What do you do?"

"Evidently I go out of my way to find problems that people have and fix them. I don't have a lot of free time now."

Nothing was said for a moment, but the girl across from him was smiling. He looked around, seeing there were a few families in the place, though he supposed it was not a popular date place. _Did I not want people to think we were going on a date? Did I just think that she would like this place for some reason? Is that a memory?_

"Oh, there's my shake," Nagisa said quietly, seeing Sugisaka approach. "Why was that kid upset?" she asked.

"It was a family thing. There was nothing I could do. I just had to be nice to them while he was screaming." _She's keeping her voice down because she's not supposed to be saying anything about it._

"Oh, well, sometimes that's all you can do."

"Are you two on a date?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," he said. There seemed to be no reason to lie about it. _Lying about it would probably insult Nagisa, at least in a way._

"I didn't know you were a thing."

"Well, we are now."

Their waitress left for the moment.

"We're a thing?"

"We're dating, aren't we?" he asked, feeling Socratic. _If she can call it a date I should think I can. She wasn't joking, was she?_

"I think so," Nagisa said, sipping the shake before her. "At this point I would like to go on a second date with you." She smiled. "Maybe a third."

He smiled back. The girl across from him was not exactly forward, but she was definitely mature, and that made sense; she was a year older than he was and going back for her third run as a high school senior. _A few brushes with death would make anyone grow up in short order. This entire time I've thought of her as a bit naïve and childish just because she's nice and has a touchy-feely relationship with her parents._

"I'd like to go on more dates with you."

"My daddy will probably call you a bum if you keep living at your father's house," she said.

"Wouldn't he call me a bum anyways?"

"He'll call you a bum and probably not let me date you. I told him you probably haven't had your first paycheck yet, but when you do, you'll probably move out."

Tomoya remembered his dreams.

"I don't know. My father's house isn't far from work, and... well, he and I have a good relationship now. I know he'd be proud of me if I moved out, but..."

"Oh, you don't want to lose the progress you made and become distant again?" she asked. She seemed lost in thought for a moment as his sandwich arrived. "Well, distance can be difficult, but weren't you two an ocean apart for years, even though you lived in the same house? I think that if you lived on your own, you'd still be just as close. Every time you came back to visit, it would be like you never left."

"I mean, it may work out that well," he conceded between eating. "I've also been kind of worried about his health, though. He's been drinking less lately, but he's always sleeping sitting up and... well, he doesn't really take care of himself. I know I'm part of this, because I'm part of the reason he works so hard, or I was- but I feel like I have to help him."

Nagisa nodded.

"That seems like a good reason. My daddy probably won't buy it, but I promise to be cross with him if he tells me I can't go on dates with you." Tomoya smiled again. Somehow even though he had only really been trying to get to know her a short time, it seemed so- like her- to say something like that. _There's the cuteness._ She went red all of a sudden and covered her mouth. _She's not going to say it for at least ten seconds._ He took the opportunity to eat a little more.

"Would you like to share?" he asked as he moved on to his fries.

"It's nothing...well, nothing important." He leaned forward a bit. She looked around. "Well, my daddy would probably also say you're not much of a man if you're dating me without a place to take me afterward," she explained at a murmur. He laughed, less concerned about what the people around him thought. _They can put up with it if I can put up with a kid screaming._ Nagisa went red again. "-but- but I'm not that kind of girl, just so you know!" she whispered. His laughter died down to a chuckle.

"That's fine," he said. "That's kind of what I expected, actually." Perhaps younger girls were afraid of that sort of thing, but the truly mature would know better. It was more conducive to lasting relationships to hold off on getting physical.

"What about you, then?" she asked, sipping again as though she did not particularly care to hear the answer. All the same, she peeked in his direction as she awaited an answer. "Are you the kind of guy who likes to take girls home?"

"It's complicated," he said, thinking of Sakagami fiddling with her jacket in the shed. _Nagisa was the one who found us the first time..._ "What I don't like to do is take advantage of girls. I definitely don't like to get it in exchange for something else. I don't like guys who get girls to feel like they have to go that far just to keep the relationship."

The girl across from him was nodding along.

"I could see how it would become... the expectation at some point," she said. "If the guy wants to do it and the girl hasn't said anything about why she doesn't want to, but never goes along with it, he'll probably think she doesn't like him."

He left a normal tip on the bill when it came out, but he figured it would be a while before the wait staff picked it up.

"I hope you and Sakagami are good friends this coming year," he said. "I asked Miyazawa to be nice to you as well."

"They both kind of scare me," Nagisa admitted. He nodded.

"I can see why, but really they're harmless, especially toward someone like you. I know they're two years younger than you..."

"I promise not to treat them like inferiors," she joked. _She never had a problem with that._ "Thank you for helping to make sure that I'll have friends. I'll... still be missing you, though. I feel like you helped me see things in a different way."

_Did I really have that much of an impact?_

"Well, they won't treat you like an inferior either, but they probably won't be on their hands and knees either. There are no ranks above 'senior'." He looked over the bill again, which was pretty reasonable. Thus far, he had not even run out of the money from the last time his father gave him allowance. _That's probably all over. More than fair, really, I probably should've stopped getting it at eighteen._ "Let's not make your dad worry."

"He'll probably still be worried, but he would be worried about you instead," Nagisa said, getting up.

"How does that even work? How can he ever not be worried about you or me?" He waved to Nishina as they walked out.

"You'll have to ask him," she said. "I never really thought about it."

It was weird, he supposed, for his propriety as a young man to be in contest with her propriety as a young woman, but he guessed that was just how it worked. There was an English poem about a depiction on an urn of a young man and a young woman- Kotomi was obsessed with it- and what she told him was that it was a tradition in ancient times that a girl would run off all of a sudden and her lover would have to lower himself by chasing after her. He would though, whatever excuse he had to make about fearing for her tripping as she ran through the wood, whatever the understanding laughter would follow him as he followed her. She would run, to the very best of her ability making him run; it would not do if he merely jogged and waited for her to tire herself, but not with such speed that he would not catch her.

They were at the bakery before he knew it. It seemed Akio had insisted on being the one to wait for him, though he spared them anything more inquisitive than looking over his daughter once before shuffling her inside. He then stared at Tomoya, who stared back.

"You didn't really expect me to do anything on the first-"

"Something wrong with Nagisa?"

"Wait, hold on, at least get your own story straight- there was supposed to be something wrong with me if-"

"There something wrong with you that you don't see she's the cutest girl who's ever lived?"

He thought back to the last time they had this conversation. _I guess I could reuse the excuse I had before._

"No, I could see that, I just knew if I tried anything, you'd probably kick my ass."

"You're damn right you could and you're damn right I would."

They said goodbye and turned away with a greater degree of pleasantness.


	55. Old Debts

Tomoya went to work a little earlier the following morning since he was starting to get used to the idea of going to bed at a reasonable hour. _If someone from a year ago looked at me now, he wouldn't recognize me at all._ He wondered if Honda, who had only just met him, would recognize him from a few years ago. _Well, I'm not that different- it's really that I didn't interact with too many people up until the beginning of my last year of school, and before that I was just dicking around with Sunohara._

His dream the previous night explained how that turned out.

He and his old friend were catching up, and they were both at least able to laugh and talk casually with each other, if the future version of himself wore a mirthless expression. They were in a burger joint of all places, though it had been a long time since Sugisaka had been a waitress at the establishment. She was replaced by a new crop of high school girls wearing the same cutesy uniforms. He found himself reminded of Kyou saying that if she taught elementary school, she could be around children for the rest of her life, and she would not have to witness them growing up, though of course they would. A man who managed a maid café like this, however, seemed infinitely more perverted. _Well, at least that's what the statistics would suggest, anyway. There's a reason over ninety percent of the prison population is male._

"Morning, Okazaki."

"Morning, sir." It was hardly necessary to exchange more pleasantries than that. He looked over the request book to see if anyone had ordered any deliveries, and it appeared no one had. _Well, at least Honda will be happy about that._ He set about cleaning the store. It was not as if any messes had been made since they closed up the previous day, but dust sort of just accumulated whether or not there was any apparent reason for it. More than anything else, he just cleaned whenever he had nothing else to do. The bell at the door went off.

"Are you guys hiring?" It was a young man from the Miyazawa gang. _Did their leader decide to disband it?_

"Sorry, I don't think we need anyone else right now," he said, looking over. "Things didn't work out with your old job?"

"The boss... left someone else in charge. Most of us left."

Tomoya shrugged. He was not a bit responsible for what happened to the gang. Frankly, it was better if the whole thing did not exist, but then they would only have the Sasaki gang, which was probably still out for revenge. _Probably better to have two gangs in town than just one._ The young man left and was replaced by their first customer of the day, Ryou.

"Oh, so this is where you have been," she said. "I think it's good you found a job."

"Does everyone in this town know you?" Honda asked. _Probably upset he hasn't gotten to serve a customer yet._

"Seems like that sometimes, sir."

"Am I... interrupting?" she asked.

"Not if you're a customer."

"Oh! That's right... I was here to buy some duck... if you have it."

"That we do, miss," the butcher explained. "One?"

"Yes, one should be enough," she said, taking it after he weighed it out and calculated the price. The butchery did not process ducks, so it was really a matter of how heavy each one was, which was not a factor they were controlling. "Thank you..."

He guessed from her hesitation that she was not buying the meat because she was being asked, so she probably bought it for herself. _She could be doing more cooking practice, moving on to more advanced things than rice and whatever else she was making._ He was glad things were working out for her; he only wished he knew enough that he could say the same for her sister.

"How's Kyou?" he asked. It was something he could pass off as a general question.

"Oh, she's having a hard time finding work," Ryou answered, digging through her purse for some reason. Another customer came in and mercifully distracted his boss.

"Why? Does the school not want her?"

"Well, it's hard to get a teaching job straight out of high school, especially without perfect scores." He winced a little. "She was thinking about maybe teaching kindergarten, where her academics would be less important, but they almost always hire women who have already had children over girls her age." Tomoya made a face, but he figured they would do that. If they had the choice, they would always want someone with the right subjective qualities, since with that kind of job it never really came down to the objective qualities.

"She could easily go to college. Your family definitely has the money for it." The girl in front of him nodded.

"That is what she plans to do now."

Ryou left with a wave, probably not wanting to distract him any more than she had. _Better clean the tools._ He went behind the counter and found a couple things to clean as the other customer left. _I'm starting to get the idea Honda is known for being no-nonsense and not really making small talk with the customers._

"Have I ever shown you how to sharpen the shears?" he asked.

"I don't think so. I assume you'd have to unscrew them."

"Yeah, that's the first step, then you need to make sure the halves are clean." He nodded. It made sense to go over the obvious sometimes as a matter of principle. Honda showed him how to use the sharpening stone to hone the edge, raising little bits of metal called 'burs', which were basically the product of the edge gradually being nicked and bent. He cleaned the burs from the edge with some sort of fluid on a square of leather, then flipped the blade over and did the same to the other side.

When he left for lunch, he saw Mei on the way there, which made him think of his dream with her brother again. It contained virtually no useful information, because he knew that neither of them were talking about work, but it did not matter anyway, since he had not the time to write it down. _Honda probably wouldn't fire me if I showed up late one morning. I probably should have stayed and wrote, just in case something in there did turn out to be helpful._

As far as he could remember, it was just a scene of the two of them dicking around like they did for two years worth of high school, which was about as normal and sad as dreams could get. He shook off the notion as he arrived at the bakery. Nagisa was waiting for him outside again.

"Hi, Okazaki," she said as he sat down next to her, not seeing him at first. "How have you been doing?"

"Since last night? Okay."

"Did something happen?" _She must've noticed my expression._

"It's fine. I was just doing a lot of thinking about where my life is going, I guess." He exchanged the regular payment for the bread. "You can get me something different next time; I don't mind."

"Oh, okay. I thought you had a favorite."

"How are things going with you?"

"School starts next week, so I'm getting ready." He decided against telling her she could probably lay off for the first few months and no one would notice. "I just know that everything's going to be different this year," she added, hanging her head a bit.

"Well, that would definitely put a wrench in your plans."

"No, not academically. I mean, they should have some new material, but mostly it would be the same. I'm just worried that I won't know anyone in my class again."

"You'll just have to hang out with them at other opportunities."

"But at other opportunities, I'll be..." She looked over. _Oh. Right._ "I know it's a little problem. I know it's not the only thing I have on my plate. I was convinced that it was just going to be so lonely, though, and then you came along..."

_I didn't even hang out with you, though._

Nothing was said for a moment as they both ate bread.

"Oh, about your apartment..." Nagisa started. "I know of one place that's pretty close to the butchery..."

"Oh, right-" He wanted to avoid it. He wanted to talk about anything else. Unlike his past, he still had some control over his future, and that was what frightened him about it. "I... kind of wanted to move in near someone in the area. Do we know of anyone who lives around here?"

"Why would you not want your own apartment?"

"Well, I was just thinking it might be a bit easier. I was thinking about how I was... well, I was kind of missing going to see Sunohara."

"Oh, I get it. You could maybe buy a little house if there's someone else in the area... you might be saving money in the long run..."

"I'll talk to Kotomi's parents to see if they know anything. They should still be around."

"That's a good idea," Nagisa said, smiling. "You probably need to go back now."

"Don't worry, I'll be out here tomorrow," he promised. _I need to go around the neighborhood this evening. There might be someone who's interested in selling._ He also implied there would not be a date that evening, but that was well within expectations.

At work things seemed to fly by, but he guessed that was because he was used to the routine at this point. Perhaps it would start to get boring, but he would be less worried about losing the job at that point. Even if his scores were cancelled, there was no way of saying he could not do the job. _That's pretty weird, though, that they're not telling me. I guess there's no benefit in telling me or anyone else, so they might just never say anything._

After closing up shop, he found himself walking to Kotomi's house, knocking on the door for the first time. The old lady greeted him nicely, asking if he knew about where their daughter went. Interpreting the question correctly after a moment of thought, he told them he did, but he was thinking about moving into the neighborhood. _It might work if I can find someone who's trying to work here, but pretty much everyone who graduated this past year moved away. I guess there's always meeting someone new._

They were confused at first, expecting him to be more interested in an apartment close to work, but he supposed that was what everyone expected. He told them he had lived in a house as a small child and he used to like it that way. They told him that they knew a few people were selling, but the asking prices were all pretty high. He knew there was no way he could get a loan for the whole thing, and if he did, there was no way he could insure it, but there was a chance he could get a loan from his father or some other adult he knew. _Yeah, right. Most adults just see me as a problem. Wait, I'm an adult._

The Fujibayashi family probably had it, he knew, but he would have had to make some different decisions in order to qualify. _I'll ask my father. He can at least tell me where to get one if all else fails._ Going around and looking at properties, he even considered moving into a place with a ton of problems, since he could hardly be bothered to fix them anyway, but it appeared that if there were any homes like that, they did not come at a substantial discount.

With nothing else to do, he went back to see his father. It was a longer walk than he would have liked, having been on his feet all day, but he had plenty to occupy his mind at the very least. He could not have said what time he arrived at home, and the fact that his father was still about ready to have supper did not shed any light on the subject.

"Hi, I was thinking about moving out," he started.

"That's good. I'll miss you, but that's good. I've known you could do it for a while."

"Is there any way I can get a loan so I can move into a small house near where I work? It'll be saving money in the long term and if you ever don't feel well enough to be on your own, you could come see me." He was still concerned about the possibility of a heart attack. _He's practically worked himself to death already._

"I don't know where you could get a loan, son," the old man said with a sigh. "The truth is, I've been upside down for over a decade."

"What? Really?"

"The job always paid well, but I guess the expenses just came out to a lot. Eating out all the time was probably part of it. Then there was the alcohol." He sighed again. "I've always wanted you to have an allowance so you would not be distracted from school..." _You mean so I would never suspect anything._

In truth he could not have said he would have just dropped being in school to get a job in order to get his father out of debt. A year ago, he would have only wanted to move out more. _This year, it's an excuse to stay here._

"Well, that's okay; we'll get out of it. I'll stay here for a while so we're not doubling on rent, and we'll pay off your loans." He looked around for the stack of papers his father kept around. The principle was a few month's worth of pay, which was less than he had feared, but it meant that his family had basically no credit. Because the old man had an outstanding debt for over ten years, even though it was pretty small, the banks would most likely never loan him anything again. _It applies to me too, mostly because they don't have a reason to assume I'm any different. Their fathers taught them to save, and they know my dad didn't teach me anything like that._

"I can't keep you here. You're a young man, Tomoya. I've worried about you a lot less lately, and I don't want you to feel weighed down by me."

"I don't feel- I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do. When you're too old to move around, I'll be taking care of you then, so there's no reason I can't start helping now. I'm just helping."

"I know you want to help. I appreciate it, really, but the reason- well, the reason I took the debt on in the first place, was because I wanted you to have a happy childhood. I knew it could not replace your mother, but..."

"I get it. You wanted me to have an allowance and not think about how hard it made things for you." He hung his head. _I really didn't think about it. I really just didn't._

For the past few years he had never felt bad about spending his father's money because he always had something on the old man, the fact that his injury kept him from playing basketball, but what kind of child ever had something over his parent? It was just fundamentally not how things worked, not in the least bit- children owed everything to their parents all the time, and all parents ever asked was gratitude. What they wanted in their children's lives was not, unless they were wingless, fangless monsters, what they wanted _from_ their children, but what they wanted _for_ their children.

He went up to his room. It was not as if he could not think of anything else to say about the situation, but he could not have said whatever it was if he tried. He knew he had a lot to make up to the old man, at least in the sense that he had intentionally ignored him for years, and there was no easy way to do it. It was impossible to look on the bright side; that he had an excuse not to move out, because really he could not have moved out no matter what. _I practically saw my father die. I don't want to attend his funeral, not for a long time anyway._

Staring up at the ceiling as his thoughts kept him awake, he decided to see if he could take more hours, or if he could somehow put up ads for deliveries without Honda noticing. _There's nothing that I'd be doing that wouldn't be in the policy already, I just need more people to make orders. If I cut the tip a little, I'd probably get way more people calling the store._

He would pay for the gas out of the tip money, of course, and the store would be making more off it because there would be additional customers; it was really just the boss being annoyed about it and not getting why people would order meat that kept it from becoming a standard business practice. Tomoya rolled over in bed. _Well, maybe I can get him to see things a little differently._


	56. New Arrangements

Going to work the following morning, he had an idea of what to say to the butcher, but really he needed some way of prompting it other than his need of more money. He wanted some way of legitimizing the whole thing, like a regular customer, but he could hardly think of anyone who would- _No, wait, I think I've got one._

Calling the Fujibayashi residence and hoping anyone but Kyou would pick up, he got Ryou, figuring it was work hours and at least he knew the man of the house would be away. Honda was in the back butchering a pig, so he figured he had a few minutes and if he came back, he could just say he picked the phone up before it rang. _No, that probably wouldn't work._

"Are you at work?" she asked.

"Yeah. You know we have a delivery service, right? It'd be a lot quicker for one of us to drive over there than for you to walk over here." He had some idea she lived a good ways away; her house was on its own street. _At least that's what I remember from the dream about her sister._

"Oh, that's good... it's weird, though... I never knew the butchery had a delivery service."

"That's alright; you learn something new every day."

Sweeping the floor, he doubted he could count on the sisters to be regulars, but if Ryou was practicing her cooking, then he would at least get an order from her every once in a while. As long as she was living with her parents, she would probably never notice the tip, but he would lower it anyway. The idea was to get more customers than lowering the tip would cost him, but an essential part was that Honda would hopefully not find out the tip was lower. He wished he knew exactly how many more people would order if he lowered it by a thousand yen, but he simply did not have the data.

A man in his late forties came into the shop asking about a skirt steak and he got it out without having to think about it too much. Ordinarily they were presented rolled up with a string around them, but this particular butcher thought that approach concealed too much about the cut. Apparently a diseased animal with respiratory issues would have a sub-par skirt, as well as a few others, and the knowledgeable customer could tell the difference. Every other customer liked being treated like knowledgeable customers as well as the transparent approach the shop advertised. _If a store isn't trying to fool you on something where you wouldn't even know it, the store isn't trying to fool you._

The older man paid and walked out.

There was a limit to the transparency, he knew. They never slaughtered the chickens in front of a customer unless for some reason the customer wanted to see it. The way the boss told it, there were some people who preferred the continental 'wet market' approach. Even if they had cows and pigs, they would probably never slaughter and butcher either of those in the front of the shop, and the biggest part of his job was keeping the place clean, because it was absolutely vital for the appearance of a butchery. Every time a customer walked in, they were basically acting like they had not served anyone else that day.

The appearance had its basis in reality. He had learned more in the past few days about parasites and bacteria than he had ever learned in school, but that was no failing of his teachers. Keeping the place clean was a perfect necessity for the health of the customers.

Another customer came in and Tomoya did not even think about getting the old man. This time it was a younger woman about Sagara's age. He absently looked for wedding bands, but did not see any. _Shouldn't assume anything._

"How can I help you?" he asked. She ignored him, preferring to look for some reason. It was not the only odd thing people did. Their more frequent customers apparently came in for a variety of cuts, but the one-off was almost always interested in something that looked like a steak. He guessed most people only went to butchers for a special occasion and decided to go for the whole hog, so to speak.

"I would like a wagyu ribeye."

"Oh, no problem," he said, getting out the cut. _That's another reason we don't raise our own cattle. It's a huge pain in the ass to get it to the standard people expect._ The price was already labeled, because Honda did not like getting it out just to put it back, and the woman paid with a card. He could assume all he wanted, he supposed, but there was nothing for it.

Honda came from the back of the shop.

"We get customers?"

"Yeah." He decided not to apologize for not interrupting his boss.

"Good. More money."

As he took his lunch break, he decided that it was good that the butcher was trusting him not to hurt the brand. He went to the bakery, where he met Nagisa waiting for him. _If this is going to be a regular thing, she'll probably just move stuff around in her schedule. I guess I can't keep seeing her when she goes back to school, though._

"Hi, Okazaki," she said, handing him some bread. "You look a little lost in thought."

"I was just thinking about... well, I guess I'd better tell you. My father's in debt. It's nothing we can't fix, but it's not a good idea for me to move out right away."

"Oh..."

"Sorry. I know you were excited about going home with me." She went red and waved her hands ambiguously.

"That's not why I was- what if my daddy heard you?" she asked, looking around. "You're so mean sometimes."

"I'm mean? You're saying you didn't want to go home with me, you know."

"I meant I wasn't excited-" Nagisa covered her mouth as soon as she spoke. "Stop getting me to say lewd things. I'm not that..."

"Sorry. I like messing with you. It's cute when you get tied in a knot, actually."

"Cute?" she asked.

"No one's ever called you cute before?"

"My daddy has, but that's his job," she said without pause or emphasis. "I really didn't talk to boys much in school."

"The girls never called you cute?" She shook her head.

"If they said that, I would have thought they were making fun of me, and they would have picked up on that." She sighed a little. "To be honest, I don't think I ever really picked up on the 'girl codes'. It always seemed like my friends were running circles around me."

"Well, maybe you should've been hanging out with guys. Being a year older, you'd be running circles around them." He had some understanding girls matured a little faster up to a certain point.

"That wasn't allowed," she said. _That's right, her parents had rules for her because they loved her._ "I was allowed to be friends with boys when I was a little girl, but in middle and high school I had to focus on school." _That's right, her parents had rules for her because they loved her._

At the same time, there were some advantages to having a laissez-faire father.

"Huh," he said, not knowing how else to comment. "You want to hang out in the park this evening?"

"Sure," she said, brightening a little.

Tomoya went back to work. There was a customer waiting for him, and the scene had him wondering if Honda disappeared on purpose to get him to learn to take care of things on his own. It was an older woman, probably from out of town by her accent.

"What can I get you?" he asked, getting behind the counter. "Pretty sure the thin-sliced-"

"Do you happen to have a ham? I don't see one here..."

"Oh, I'll look in the back." He went in the back, doubting there was one unless he cut the ass off a pig. "We don't have any whole hams. I can put you down for a top round that's good for slicing if you're willing to place an order." He hoped he was conveying that there would be a special cost associated with ordering from the butchery.

"I would be just as happy with a hock, thank you," she said. He nodded. They did not normally put hocks out on display because they usually still had the skin on them, and only customers who knew how the sausage was made wanted them. Returning with a recently cut hock, he wrapped it and bagged it as he put it on the scale. _Why is it just the unusual cuts that we mass to calculate the price? Why can't we just cut them the same every time?_

When the customer left, the butcher returned.

"Can't help thinking you're doing it on purpose, sir."

"Doing what?" _He's not admitting to it. There's no point._

"Never mind. Why don't we cut all the hocks the same?"

"Sometimes I get a smaller pig and some of the round comes off the hock. It wouldn't ever be so much I couldn't sell the hock, but I don't know how much I want for it until I know how much meat is on the bone." He pointed to a slicer and Tomoya got to work getting the blade out and cleaning it. "If I ever take so much meat off any cut that I couldn't sell it, I just take it home."

"I mean, that much makes sense," he responded, working. "It's just the price isn't always based on the mass. The cuts on display, even when they weigh the same and they're from the same animal- they're all priced differently."

"You ever noticed people buy some of them more than others?"

"I mean, yeah, the sirloins would be gone in a minute if they were the same price as chicken thighs-"

"Don't you think that'd be bad for me?"

 _Didn't think that through, I guess. Can't have the appearance of being out of stock of anything._ He didn't say anything until his boss decided to explain it.

"It's not really just about the way it looks. People seem to want some cuts more than the same mass of other cuts. Why should they get to pay the same for them?" He sharpened a cleaver as he spoke. "I didn't think about it that way when I first started out; I just didn't want to buy a whole new side every time I ran out of one cut. I priced them so that I'd run out of all of them at about the same rate."

"People still seem to buy some cuts more than others."

"Yeah, those are the one-offs. I'm sure you've noticed. The regulars make up for it, most of the way." Tomoya shrugged. It might be possible he was missing something, only having worked for a matter of days. He guessed that the unpopular cuts that they got out of the back were massed because they were presumed to be of the same popularity. _It's also probably not worth doing the math. If pig ears suddenly soared in demand, he'd come up with a price for it. Might even put them on display._

When work was over for the evening he folded up his white uniform and left it in the usual place before locking the building. He guessed he could save a little on supper if he took some of the unsold meat home with him, but it was not as if Honda had offered. _He's probably got a pretty good system for it to where he isn't eating anything that's about to be sold._

Nagisa was waiting for him in the park.

"I'm sorry for messing around with you earlier."

"It's fine. I just... get a little flustered sometimes." She seemed to want to change the subject. "You're not going to be able to move out soon, then?"

"No. It's not that bad, really, since I can keep an eye on my father. He's had some warning signs for heart attacks." _Like my dream, for example._ "I don't think I could persuade him to leave his job, so that's a strain on his heart. I might be able to get him to stop drinking." The girl next to him moved closer.

"I think that would be a good thing to do." There was a pause. "Did you ever have any girlfriends before?"

"Not really, no. I was dating Kyou, but I couldn't think of why I liked her, we just got along. I don't know what the difference is, but there is one. I think Sakagami wanted me to act like I was dating her because she really wanted me to ask her out, but there was no way that could happen." Nagisa hung her head. "I don't think she's really my type, though. I think we would have clashed too much because I was always kind of an underachiever. She's just too different of a person. I guess it's not her central nature or her real motivation or anything, but practically it never would have worked and I would probably end up unhappy."

"What about her?"

"She'll be fine without me. I know that much."

"No, like... would she have been happy with you?"

"I don't know. There'd be some obvious problems but I really didn't think about it. I know she'd probably never accomplish most of what she wanted in life because of the way people would see her and I can't figure out for the life of me why I would have been worth it. At some point I realized I was looking at the whole thing as a lapse in judgement on her part." _I guess I should be glad I had the sense to see through it._

"You didn't lead her on, though, did you?"

"No. I told her the day after she asked that there was no way I could pretend to be her boyfriend. Later, when she admitted she really had feelings for me the whole time, I told her basically what I told you. I'm not just going to ruin her life."

"Well, you did the right thing, I think."

"I sure hope so. Most of the time it seems like I get the choice between that and doing what I'm asked. Sometimes it's the same and it's easy, like with Ryou that one time."

"I heard about that." She looked around in the park as if to see kids playing this late. "I always felt like you were the kind of guy who didn't really care about other people's feelings." Tomoya did not know how to respond. "Maybe if you did, you just weren't that good at figuring out how people would react to things. Is that why people think you're rude?"

"I don't know, maybe. I used to joke around with Sunohara a lot. Kyou had basically the same cruel sense of humor. I could see why most people would think I was just rude to everyone."

"Well, that answers a lot of the questions I had," Nagisa said, looking up. "Do you like me?"

"Yeah."

"That was easy," she observed, momentarily put off. "When did you know you liked me?"

"I don't know, I've just been putting it together. I think it started with how I was just always content to be around you. It was never stressful or anything. I felt like we're compatible and I want to go on another date with you at some point."

"You don't seem me like a sister, though? Or a friend?"

"I don't have a sister. I have a friend, though, and no, it's different. I've known Kotomi for years, like, since we were kids. I really couldn't think of her like that if I tried."

"It's different with me, though?"

"Yeah." He put a hand on her shoulder and kissed her. She went red, but she stayed perfectly still. "Are you alright?"

"That was my first..." Nagisa smiled. "How did you know I liked you?"

"You weren't really waiting outside every day with bread because you thought it would be more convenient, were you?" She looked down a bit.

"I never figured out the 'girl codes'. I never knew how to tell if guys liked me or if I gave away too much."

"I'm pretty sure most of that's bullshit so don't worry about it." He put his arms around her and felt her lean into his chest. "I want you to call me Tomoya from now on."

"Okay. You've already been calling me Nagisa." She looked up into his eyes. "Was that just because my parents weren't around and calling me Furukawa wouldn't work?"

"No," he admitted, not breaking eye contact. "I should probably walk you back. Your dad's already going to chew me out for having you out so long. Sorry if he interrogates you."

"It's fine. It's just part of being a girl." She cocked her head. "Well, it is if you're his daughter. Otherwise I would not know."

They walked back together, and a strange feeling returned to his mind, an unease that had not been there in a long time.


	57. Family Life

At work the next day, he had to deal with a customer while the butcher was dealing with another, but the only thing on his mind was the conversation with his father from the previous night. It was about as bad as any he had ever had, and given that the last time they fought he ended up with a moderate disability, that was saying something. He nearly confused a customer's order, but the young man seemed to recognize that he was new at the job and there was nothing to do about the occasional mistake.

"Something on your mind, Okazaki?" the boss asked during a lull. He had taken to sharpening the scissors.

"It's nothing imp- well, it's only important to me."

"I see. Well, don't let it get in the way." It sounded like an insensitive thing to say, he supposed, but he was the one who decided that Honda would not care about his issue. _He probably would have a suggestion or something, but not a lot more than that. With personal issues, there's not always something to be done, like with Nishina breaking up with her boyfriend._ He found himself wondering if that ever materialized or not.

The substance of it was that his father decided he was going to cut back on a lot of expenses. He had already stopped giving his employed son an allowance, he had mostly stopped drinking, and he was making food for himself more frequently. Perhaps they both knew this was going to happen anyway, but Tomoya had not expected it to be an excuse to throw him out of the house. It was not as if his father hated having him around, but he was not content to have his son paying his debts for him. He also did not like the fact that his son was not living on his own, despite having a girlfriend and a job. _Well why do those three things always have to go together anyway? We can be dating and not sleeping together. I don't think she even wants to sleep with anyone but a husband. Don't people sometimes date for years before getting married?_

He thought about whether or not he wanted to marry Nagisa while loading some chilled pig carcasses onto hooks from the truck that seemed to represent the supplier. He knew he liked her, and he knew they were compatible, and it seemed like it would practically work out, but the decision-making process usually seemed to take longer than the first few dates. Fortunately, on his way back out to the truck, where Honda was talking with the driver, he spotted Yoshino fixing some wiring in a telephone pole. _On second thought, maybe I don't want to ask him. I was the one who was trying to get him and his wife to go through with it all that time. If it was so easy for them, even with the obvious issues, why can't I make the decision?_

Tomoya was aware they had been dating for years, but apparently they had brought up the idea of marriage before that. _I can keep going on dates with her if I have my own apartment, but..._ He shook his head. Whatever small way he had of keeping away from the alternate timeline, he had to at least consider. He already had enough from his first paycheck to cover the standard starting fees, and paying his own taxes would not be a concern for a few months, but there were other expenses he would incur. He also felt like his father could still have a heart attack at any moment.

Eventually getting let off for lunch, he decided not to tell Nagisa that the short version was that the old man did not like his plan as much as he did. He kind of got why his father wanted him to have an apartment of his own while having a girlfriend, but it was not absolutely necessary. Instead, he said that his father was going on a business trip, and he felt it would be better to stay at her place for a while.

"Oh, so you can get to know my family better, right?"

"Yeah. I was worried about him, but it's not like the company will let me go on a business trip with him, and I can't just take off work. I don't have any vacation days for a while."

"I think my parents would be happy to have you over. They'll insist that you sleep in a different room-" He sighed. "I know you weren't going to ask that, though. They'll just say it whether or not you ask."

In truth, he did not mind having to jump through hoops, since if he ever had a daughter he would trust her boyfriend probably even less than the Furukawas were trusting him. He did not get the feeling he had ever had a daughter, not in any timeline. _The memories seem to be getting more and more scarce. Am I getting away from it?_

"Oh, there was something I wanted to ask."

"Yeah?"

"What kind of questions do you want to ask me?"

"What?"

"I want to know what your selection process is like."

"I really never put any kind of serious thought into it before now, to be honest. Do you remember Yoshino and- you used to call her Ibuki-sensei? I've kind of been thinking about them recently. I'm on the fence about visiting their house."

"I already did," Nagisa admitted. "I'll tell you about that later, though."

"Right. I'll see you this evening."

Walking back to work, he caught sight of a wild boar going through some bushes. _If I brought it into the shop, that would be it for the boar. I don't think Honda would approve of keeping anything porcine as a pet._ Putting his uniform back on at the door, he looked up to see Kyou waiting for him at the counter.

"Are you here to order?" he asked, trying to divert the awkwardness of the situation by making it about work. He really hoped he did not think of his dream.

"I need your help with something."

"Is it the boar? I'm pretty sure I just-"

"No, I let him run around for a bit. I'm trying to get a certification for teaching."

"Have you talked to Yoshino-sensei?" he asked.

"She told me the questions they asked her in an interview. I'm confidant I can pass the exam, but... I can't ask anyone else to help me practice for the face-to-face interview." He wanted to ask why, but he got the sense that she wanted the exact opposite.

"Okay, I mean, right when I get off work, I can ask you the questions if you have them written down."

"Thank you." Kyou left without another word. It appeared she really was grateful, but it was probably about as awkward for her as it was for him. _Well, sometimes things don't really work out. That's not my fault._

More than anything else, he wondered why she was asking him for help, when she had her younger sister, unless she was busy all the time. _I mean if she were concerned about that she wouldn't have asked someone with a full time job._ He shook his head. There was a real customer this time, though Honda was just returning.

"Hello, is there any way I can get some bones? I need them for a stock." Tomoya shrugged at the unusual request, but the butcher was happy to accomodate.

"Cow? Pig?"

"Oh, cow, I didn't know which you had." He took the cue and went to the back. _Honda might be using these for soup stock himself; I didn't even think about it._ He guessed bones would be good for stock, but he had definitely never used them before. A thought crossed his mind of taking some home to his father, to help him save on meals, but he remembered he would not be going home that evening.

The customer was happy with the box of bones he produced, and paid the price that the boss suggested.

"What do we normally do with bones?" he asked.

"Eh, the good ones I'll take home sometimes, but most of 'em go to a glue factory. You wouldn't believe how many products are stuck together with animal glue." Tomoya nodded, absent of the confidence to contradict Honda. "Just about nothing is ever thrown out entirely, Tomoya. If there's a use for it, someone will pay for it."

The idea stuck around in his mind for a while. Not for the first time, he felt like he was learning more on the job than he ever had in school, but there were good reasons for that. The weirdest thing about the conversation with his father, though, was that it turned out that he really had learned a good bit in school. Apparently shortly after he had that difficult interview with the head of the third years, the school called his house to say that his scores were not canceled after all, and his father never told him about it, assuming he already knew. It might have gone on like that had he not introduced his precarious academics as a rationale for why he could not simply pick up and move.

_Well, lucky I don't have to worry about that anymore._

He guessed he could try telling his boss about how he passed with a higher than average score on his finals, but he did not know how much it would get him. _I'll work it into a normal conversation at some point. He probably already presumed I had good scores._

When he got out of work, Kyou was waiting for him outside as he was putting up his uniform. Again, he wanted to ask why she had chosen him for the job, but it was not as if that mattered. He could do it, and he did not have any particular problem with it. She handed him the questions without a lot of preamble and they sat on opposite sides of an outdoor table at a restaurant. Tomoya decided to hope she would not order anything.

"What are your strengths as a teacher?" he asked.

"My character references regard me as being good with kids; I've been a babysitter before and the short version is that I can control them without making them hate me."

"I see you're efficient with speech. That's a good thing. What about academics?"

"I passed with an above average score in all of my classes. I have the requisite knowledge to teach any class at a middle school level or below, and I'm confident in my ability to answer any questions students may have about the material."

"That's good," he commented. "It's more than just what the book says that teachers have to know and understand. Without a complete picture of the subject in their heads, they won't be able to guide the understanding of the class." He was, of course, reading a script. Tomoya had not previously given a lot of thought into what went into being a teacher.

"Ask me about my character references."

"I'll get to that later," he said, deviating from the plan. _She's not going to learn anything if everything goes exactly the way she predicted._ "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Still teaching; that's my dream, to be perfectly honest. Depending on what job I have first, I might switch to a different age group either for a greater challenge or out of personal preference." Looking around on the page, he could not see the question, but it was such a standard question he felt like it was a given they would ask it. _Well, not that I was ever asked._ He was pretty sure it was just a test to see if you generally thought that far ahead.

"Okay, well, a lot of schools have been talking about integrating more technology in the classroom. Would you happen to be good with computers?"

"Yes, I have a computer at home and I've used it for years." He supposed that was a fair interpretation of the question. In truth, he could hardly claim that computers had been all that integrated in his education, but maybe kids would have it differently. He could reasonably see it being a basic business requirement at this point, not that he had checked. _I'm pretty sure I used one in the other timeline._ The waitress for the restaurant where they were sitting apologized for her lateness, but Kyou said that they were still deciding, so they would not need her at the moment.

"How are you with organization?" he asked. "Does anyone describe you as organized, generally?"

"Yes, ask any one of my references." He flipped through them, finding some teachers, some students, and a handful of adults he did not recognize. Tomoya reminded himself he was an adult. "How did you select them?"

"I came up with a list of people with the most relevant insight on my character and abilities. I avoided citing anyone from more than five years ago, and I eliminated everyone who would not be willing to testify for me." He nodded. _Isn't that implicit, though?_

"That's about it. Is there anything else you want to tell me?" he asked. "Is there any one thing that sets you apart from the competition?" It was an unfair question, he knew, since she did not know anything about the competition, but his guess was that interviewers just wanted to see how she would answer.

"I feel like that factor, for me, is most likely my overall caring, passionate nature."

"That's a good answer." He handed back the script.

"You went of the script."

"Most of the questions I asked were somewhere on there. I didn't see any need to let you predict the order." He got up as the waitress was just about to bother them and she followed. "Are you going home after this?"

"Yes. I'm not asking you to walk me there."

"Okay," he said, not revealing that he was somewhat relieved. For one thing, her house was not exactly close by, so it would make him late, it was something he remembered from the dream, and he was trying to hold down a girlfriend and could not afford to be seen with Kyou. He knew Nagisa was an adult who would not just leap to a conclusion, but he doubted there was any way for her to persuade her feelings to go along with the rational assessment of the situation. _I've already told her that I had no interest. It shouldn't be too bad if it gets out that I was talking to her outside a restaurant._ He said his goodbyes and walked off.

_All the same, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to tell Nagisa this happened._

He walked to the Furukawa bakery, and as he expected, Sanae did not get onto him about being late, but Akio was quick to remind their blushing daughter that he had known the whole time she picked the wrong guy. He frowned, but said nothing back. It seemed he was always on his first impression with this particular family. Nothing he did ever seemed to be enough for the father in particular, and the mother took no side. _Well, maybe she thinks neither of the sides really need any help._

They were having grilled eel over rice with vegetables, which was good, not to mention nutritious. It was rare that he actually ate a balanced meal, though, so perhaps he was a poor judge. The conversation seemed to be going in entirely random directions.

"Hey, we have a guest over, let's get out some sake. Doesn't have to be a lot," Akio suggested. _Weird. I wouldn't have thought that was something you would be celebrating._ Nagisa, however, was quick to congratulate her father on his hospitality and thoughtfulness. _Wouldn't have come up with that trick myself._ As Sanae went to get it, he turned to ask if either of them had ever had alcohol before. They both shook their heads, though Tomoya remembered the dreams.

"You've never sneaked out and had a beer or something when your parents' backs were turned?"

"My father wouldn't have cared," he said, redirecting the provocation.

"Daddy, I said that his mother died a while ago..." the girl next to him reminded. They all assumed neutral expressions as soon as her mother returned. _I should probably appreciate the fact that she told her parents about me. I'd have had to tell them most of it myself, anyway._

Sanae was getting the cups and bottle out of the sake set, serving her husband first, perhaps as he had suggested it, in a flat cup he almost mistook for a saucer. The old man swallowed it without any difficulty, daring him to do the same. _Probably knows it never goes down easy the first time._ He took his own cup and drank from it, nearly choking as he made himself swallow. The taste was familiar to his mind, for all the good that did.

"Ha! Good enough for your first shot. Now you try, Nagisa."

"Oh, I don't know..." her mother started.

"I can do it," she insisted, taking the cup and drinking it. Her face went red almost immediately and she sat perfectly still. Her parents watched with a mixture of confusion and interest as she opened her eyes again. They were swimming. _Is she already feeling it?_

"Are you alright?" he asked, taking her hand. "I can walk you up and then come back down here if you like." Perhaps a passerby would think the middle part of the sentence irrelevant. The passerby would be wrong, as is the case most of the time.


	58. Family Businesses

Tomoya closed the door and turned around to see Nagisa in her room, reminding himself of every time when he came to visit her when she was sick, though she was only sitting on her futon; she had not gotten inside. He sat down in a chair across from her. She turned away, but he did not suspect that she was upset with him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I don't-" She hiccuped. "I don't like it when people treat me like a child."

"Didn't you say that was your dad's job?"

"No, it's his job-" She hiccuped again. "-to treat my boyfriend like he's a jerk or something. He's not making the-" _Don't laugh._ "-the decision for me."

He supposed she was right, or rather, he knew she was, since it was her father and she would know the difference. In the days of arranged marriages, it made perfect sense for the parents to make the call, since the bride and sometimes the groom were too young to make a decision like that. Part of the reason they were married so young was for children to be produced, which served as proof that it had been consummated, and teenagers were generally more fertile than adults, since most animals reproduced as soon as they hit sexual maturity.

"Well, he's done a damn good job of that."

"I know." It seemed she had stopped hiccuping, but her face was still a bit red. "I have faith in you, though. I know you'll pass all his tests."

"I'm trying. I'm trying as hard as I can." He imagined Nagisa as the official in the contest he was having with her old man. It made sense, when he thought about it, because a girl's father would have virtually none of the same reasons for being tricked by a clever young man that she would. It was not as if girls had no sense of danger or desire for security, if anything it was the opposite and those went toward finding a good, reliable partner, but attraction could cloud judgement and if nothing else, a young man should have the courage to face a young woman's father if he liked her.

"I know," the girl across from him repeated. "I also know I'm supposed to be neutral... but I want you to win, Oka- I want you to win, Tomoya." He decided against bringing up Kyou. It just seemed like the wrong time. He opened the door to check if the Furukawas were listening before getting close to her.

"I want to keep going on dates with you for a good while," he said. "I was never really that interested in how my mother met my father, but, well, she told me anyway. She told me that she kept on dating him for years, just so she could be sure he was the right one."

Nagisa smiled.

"Do you want me to hold out that long, because of how much I believe in you?" she asked. He shook his head. "Good... I'm not sure I can..."

"I'll see you tomorrow morning," he said, patting her on the head and walking out. Going quietly down the stairs, he found her parents, though it did not seem they had been waiting for him. _Huh. Maybe they just don't think I'm that stupid._ As they said their farewells to him and went to their room, he found the futon in the closet and rolled it out, wondering what they thought about him, and what kind of man they wanted for their daughter. If one thing was certain, her father wanted respect, which was easy enough for him ever since the old man rescued him from getting arrested. He found it easy enough to see Sanae as a maternal figure; as far as he was concerned, she was the best he had seen since his own, though he knew he was biased.

Going to bed early because there was no opportunity to talk with his girlfriend, he wondered what kind of man she wanted. It was too late to try to pretend to be someone else, of course, but he wondered if she ever had dreams of getting married or otherwise ending up with her soulmate and where he fit into them. He shook his head. Trying to imagine that was beyond pointless, and concerning himself with it was worse somehow.

The following morning he was woken by someone moving around, realizing that it was a good bit earlier than he normally woke up. _Well, that makes sense; some people like to make breakfast and start the day rather than just roll out of bed and go to work._ Getting up and getting dressed, he saw Nagisa come down the stairs.

"Good morning, Tomoya," she said. "I'm glad to see you're up. I thought you were a late riser." Akio rushed into the room from across the house. They both stared at him for a moment before he left again.

"What's the plan for today?" he asked.

"Well, I have school tomorrow, so I'll meet you for lunch for the last time-" He frowned a bit. "It won't be too bad now, though, since you're living here for a little while. My parents did not ask how long you were going to be here when they said it was okay, but do you know yet?"

"Not exactly. He's been gone for three weeks before, but that was a while ago. I really didn't pay attention all that much at the time," he confessed, actually telling the truth.

"So he just left you alone?"

"Well... yeah. I used to hate him for it, because as I got older I realized I never should have been left on my own for that long, but basically he would have never had the same opportunities for promotion if he hadn't gone on those trips, and he didn't really have any friends who were interested in watching me. He's never said it, but I'm not sure that anyone at his workplace ever knew he had a son."

"I mean... I know he was trying to provide for you... but still..."

"I know. I'm not going to cover up for him or anything. He seemed to think I just didn't need him."

He decided not to rub it in Nagisa's face that he would have given a lot to have been treated like a kid, back when he was one.

Going to work rather than stick around much longer, he guessed Akio would have to admit at some point that he was at least responsible. At work, there were two customer orders and he decided to get them both done back to back, since they were not far apart. The first was this man who lived next to the old dorm, and then there was Sagara. _Huh. I guess she might be in the market. Probably only does this every so often._

Getting into the car after waving goodbye to Honda, he guessed his plan was working, having adjusted the tip for a greater number of deliveries. It was almost a waste to drive for it, since it was so close, but it was company policy so the product would not be carried in the sun or rain or snow. Tomoya supposed it was telling that his boss cared about the product even when he did not care at all about having a delivery service.

He got to the first place and received his first tip for an order of beef bacon, which basically went off without a hitch. _Well, maybe I should've guessed most orders were normal. There are supposed to be bell curves for that sort of thing._ Getting back in the car, he doubted he drove more than two blocks to get to the dorm.

"Hi, Sagara," he said, handing her the order. "Are you making something for the students the first night they get here?"

"Sunohara never mentioned it?" She seemed to think for a moment. "No, I suppose he would not have. It's only a pot roast."

"That figures, that's what most people do with anything from the belly." _Why did I say that._ "Hope you and your cat get a bite to eat after everyone else is done."

"Oh, we usually just eat first so as not to worry about that. Are you liking the job?"

"Yeah. I didn't know what to expect, but it's not bad. It's hard work, though." The dorm mother nodded.

"That's good. Keep at it."

He went back, thinking about what she said. The last thing he wanted was for Honda to accuse him of taking too long on deliveries to shirk his responsibilities, but that seemed unlikely. Anything Tomoya did not do while gone, he would have to do upon returning. He parked the car out front, satisfied with the gas gauge, noticing he was parking next to a customer. _Never a dull moment when one of us steps out._

"That'll be all, thank you," the middle-aged lady said. She might have been some kind of regular, but she was only getting a few pounds of ground chicken. He could only guess she was making some kind of stew. Cleaning the tools, he asked no questions about what had taken place, but it did not matter, since the butcher left the register anyway. He seemed to do that a lot.

The next customer was his father.

"Hi, Tomoya."

"Hi. Aren't you supposed to be-" _I can't contradict the customer. Honda doesn't care if he's setting a budget for himself or not._

"At work? I am, but they let me take breaks, you know. I made a reputation of hard work, so they know that when I step out of the office, it's because I need to."

"Oh. That makes sense. What are you doing here, though?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. Just give me something cheap. Do you have something in the back?" The boss came back around.

"Plenty in the back. Depends."

"I think we're looking for something inexpensive. It's for a stew," Tomoya ventured. "Neck? Gizzards?" His father simply nodded. If the butcher found anything about the situation weird, he said nothing about it; he only disappeared again.

"Do you have a place to live?"

"Yeah, don't worry about that. I took a shower last night." Perhaps some would find it funny, but for the image of the shop, he really could not afford to skip a day showering. He did not want to have a customer ask what the smell was and have to explain that it was not the meat, but the employees. _Would be more of a problem if the uniform didn't constantly smell like bleach._ He had just the one, and he washed it every other day at least.

His father left when he paid for the chicken organs, and it was with a momentary pause in his cleaning of the counter that he realized the old man left after showing the first bit of concern for his son in years. He was past all need of it, of course, but it was oddly not insulting, like he had expected. Learning that they were going to be butchering another chicken by the end of the day came as no surprise, since apparently it was predicted to be slower around quitting time, and thus far Honda had never been wrong about the traffic. _If he always knows when people are- okay, he probably doesn't know when one individual person is going to show up, but doesn't this mean he's left me to handle things during some higher volume hours?_

It seemed odd for him to deny doing that, since it made sense as a mechanism of getting him to learn to talk to customers, but he would have thought it would make things easier to give him some pointers first. So far, though, the boss had instructed him on virtually nothing without showing him how to do it, and it was possible he did not want the customer to see a demonstration like that take place.

Eventually getting off for lunch, he went to the bakery more quickly than usual. Nagisa waited for him with a different kind of bread, which was like a quarter moon. She called it a croissant, which was apparently the French word for such a shape.

"You know, if you eat bread for lunch every day, you'll be eating a lot of carbs." He nodded. _She's trying to get me to go somewhere else for lunch so I don't think about her._

"Well, I started doing it because it's cheap and I like it, and I've always liked being here, and I guess I'm kind of a creature of habit on top of everything else." She told him the price of the croissant, which was less than he had thought it would be. "I'm giving your parents lots of business, you know."

"I know that. Making food is generally better for you and less expensive. I want you to get into the habit of it." _Well, I definitely want my father to get into the habit of it._ It occurred to him that buying a raw ingredient, even a cut of meat, was something new for the old man. _I'm pretty sure he and I were both just sort of dependent on my mother to figure out that sort of thing, and then neither of us really wanted to eat together enough to figure it out after that._

"That shouldn't be too much of a problem. As long as I'm living with you guys, I can go to the grocer and get something for everyone. Do you think your mother would like to show me how to make something?" He was honestly hoping the answer would be 'no', since he could hardly imagine asking.

"Hmm..." _That's a good sign._ "I'm not sure. I can talk to her about it, though. You should probably focus on simple things first."

"I know," he said, thinking of Ryou. "Did she ever show you how to make things?"

"Not that much, actually. Daddy thought I would burn myself or chop off a finger. I kind of got scared of it, to be honest."

"If I sneaked up behind you with a carrot would you scream?" She went red.

"Only because you sneaked up behind me, not because you had a carrot," she answered, crossing her arms. He put one of his own around her.

"I'm going to miss eating lunch with you, Nagisa." She looked down a bit. "I won't go here all the time, so you won't regret not being home, but I'll be missing you as much as you miss me."

"We'll see each other at night, though." He only smiled. "-in the evening," she amended. "No one else would think of it like that, you know..."

"I know. I'll see you after work."

He went back to the shop, finding that Honda was out for a moment, though there were no customers around. _I'm starting to think he's got a hidden camera somewhere. Either that or he's just got a ton of stuff to do and I'm assuming that it's a test for me for no reason._

Cleaning up the place, he noticed he had been a minute late. _Damn. Can't afford to make a habit out of that._ The boss came back and took his position behind the counter.

"Do you have some place you're going all the time, sir?" he asked, unable to stop himself. "I don't mean to pry, it's just..."

"Well, I hired you, so I would think I can take breaks every so often. Doesn't always take two people to run the shop."

"I know that, you ran it yourself for years. Was it inconvenient that you couldn't run errands?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. I used to not be able to do very much for my family. I could work for a living all day, but I couldn't work for a living for a third of a day." It occurred to him he did not really think about the possibility of the butcher having a wife and kids. _I only knew that he was Mitsurugi's uncle._

As he cleaned one of the meat mallets they used for the ground beef, he thought about how it seemed doubtful the old man would have built up a butchery, whether he bought it or not, if he never had a family to whom he could leave the shop. _Was his nephew that family member? Was he thinking that he would take over the family business?_

He decided against asking any more probing questions of his employer at least for the day. Even if Honda could guess what he was doing, it was the polite thing to do and he would at least acknowledge that. There was another customer, but he hardly paid attention. Apparently the man in a business suit was asking if he could get it cooked, but that would ruin the fun of it, apparently. He took the rib-eye anyway, and he doubted the old man had any intention of starting a cooking service. _Yeah, that probably wouldn't be worth it. I mean, maybe we could do it, but we'd have to charge a ton for it._ He had some idea people were under the impression a butcher who worked with meat all the time would also know his way around a grill or fry pan or what have you, and he was sure they had some potential to be right, but he was not going to bring that up.

There was such a thing as tempting fate.


	59. Protection from Protection

Walking to the Furukawa residence felt like going home for some reason, and perhaps that was an apt descriptor. He had not had any visions in a while, which was good, but he knew it was because he had not helped anyone in about that long. _Well, it wasn't for lack of trying._

He had made the offer to help his father, and it was probably going to be even worse if he wanted to so much as figure out what was going on with Honda. He understood not wanting to accept help from a young man, since it seemed the opposite way things normally worked, but he supposed that at the same time that was just who he was at this point. Any time someone had a problem and he had a good way of fixing it, he would at least make an attempt.

At the house he was welcomed inside and dinner began immediately. It seemed he actually had the same hours as the usual store hours for the bakery, which made sense, because most people stopped showing up and looking for food shortly before the evening meal. The shop would be closed after that.

"How was work?" Nagisa asked. Her parents were talking about practical things, something he thought he would never see.

"It was okay. I'm still trying to make the best possible impression at all times, so it's stressful, but I'm putting up with it. It's not the most physically demanding work in the world."

"That's good. You won't be tired every day when you come home."

"Yeah, don't worry about that; I'll always have plenty of energy for you." The girl's parents were staring at her.

"That was- I didn't mean it like that!" she objected, trying to get him to back her up. "He makes everything I say sound lewd." _Well, you're the one making it so easy for me._

"How dare you, Okazaki?" Akio demanded, clapping on the back not quietly at all. "I didn't raise that kind of girl you know. What did I tell you?" His daughter hung her head and whispered something as quietly as possible. Tomoya took the chance to eat. _Well, I guess she didn't make it that easy for me._

"What was that?" Sanae asked. It seemed important to her too, that Nagisa remember what it was they taught her.

"No babies until I get married, no getting married until I graduate," she said, still quietly enough that he had to stop eating to hear her. He would have choked on his food, though, so that worked out. The idea that she had begged her parents for a baby like some children did for a puppy both surprised him and amused him, but at least the first impulse seemed to cancel out the second. It was telling, he guessed, that her parents were characterizing her sexual desire as a mechanism of fulfilling a girly wish of taking care of a baby, but not terribly sinister or otherwise worrying. _She's probably just more on the nose about being treated like a kid than I gave her credit for being._

When supper ended the Furukawas left the room, so he and their daughter could clean up. It was nice, actually, being trusted with some simple domestic task, and his girlfriend seemed to not mind. He would not be surprised if she had cleaned up every night for the past ten years or so. They talked quietly about whatever came to mind until Nagisa went up to bed, so it must have been a few hours. It was quite possibly the longest time he had spent alone with her, and he could not have been happier. He could joke with her and he liked the way she appreciated it, smiling softly and looking up at him. He would miss spending so much time with her.

Rolling out the futon again, he could not help feeling like he already did miss her, and he had for a long time.

The following morning he went to work like he always did. He had told his girlfriend about Kyou's difficulties, and about meeting with her for an interview, the purpose of which still escaped him. She said that she had something she thought it was, but felt like it was a better idea not to say anything. He decided that was fine; there was no way that all of her suppositions would be correct.

He expected Ryou would be back, in another week at the latest, but before that there was nothing that he particularly anticipated. He ran into that guy from the old gang again before getting to the shop. Honda had not yet arrived. _It's probably better not to assume._

"Are you here about a job again?"

"No, just wanted to tell you about a few things going on. In a few months from now, the Sasaki gang will start making rounds." He nodded. It was expected. As long as they were not connected with the yakuza, though, they could at least go to the police. "It's probably better to just pay the fee."

"Not going to happen."

"They could wreck your shop."

"I'll call my old friend." He was just saying it to get the guy to leave him alone. It was not as if he seriously thought Mungle was still in the country. "I'm really not worried. I'm at least ten times better with a knife than any of those dropouts."

"I wouldn't underestimate them."

Getting into the butchery, it was starting to seem like the old Miyazawa gang member was most likely not warning him out of the goodness of his heart. _I guess he could be trying to get us to get the police to watch the store. Best case scenario, they'll catch some rival gang members. If not, at least they'll have the cops tied up for a little while._ The boss showed up right as he was finishing the morning sweep.

"We got a threat," he said, remaining nonchalant. "Turns out the Sasaki gang has its eye on this corner."

"Know anything about them?"

"Too much," he answered honestly. "They threaten people all over the place," he answered less honestly, deciding it was better not to reveal his connection. "Just thought I'd mention it."

"Makes sense. Did they say when they'd be stopping by?"

"Pretty sure the guy who came over to warn us wasn't one of theirs, though that's just out of his mouth. I doubt they'd announce it in advance if they wanted to come here and wreck the place." _We would just tell the police they threatened us and give them a description._

"Should happen around midnight, since that's when most gangs pick targets." Tomoya had not thought of that. "Really aren't any locks that can keep out a gang."

"What do you want to do, set up a camera?"

Honda shook his head.

"Not really in the budget."

"I don't think we can afford not to do something. Wouldn't it be better to have a camera and pay it off later?"

"They'll break the damn camera, find wherever we're keeping the tapes, and that'll be it." He nodded, not having thought of that either. He expected they could do a reasonably good job of keeping their identities secret and not leaving evidence as to who they were.

"We can't just watch the place every night this week," he said, trying to think of something else.

"Can't we?" the butcher asked, clapping him on the shoulder. "Lots of business avenues I don't care to explore, but I wouldn't mind having a night shift."

Tomoya frowned, but he knew better than to refuse. He guessed he could look for other work, but it was not as if he had any leads on that. It would also probably be easier work, assuming there were no actual customers at night.

"I don't think I'd do a good job keeping watch if I were up all day."

"Don't worry about that. I've been working the day shift myself for decades."

He knew what Honda was saying was, well, factual, but it seemed like he was abandoning him to doing the day shift by himself. With all the responsibilities he had taken on, it seemed rude to just hand most of them back. He was sure that he would be doing something while at the shop at night, like preparing for the next day, but he was not going to be dealing with customers, which was actually one of the better parts of the job.

A complication with the plan was evident in the fact that even the two of them could not watch the store for twenty four hours a day. There would still be windows where neither of them were in the shop, and assuming he took over right when the boss left, it would be from the time he signed off to the following morning. _Working eight hours, if I start at five thirty, I'd be going home at one thirty, which wouldn't be long after they planned to attack. They could just wait for me to leave if they knew when I left, and even if they didn't know, they could attack at two for any reason or for no reason._

He had to hope they were not the only property on the list of targets, and that a few other places would be attacked first. If he had a sense of when the other places were attacked and how, which he could gain by reading police reports, he would be better able to respond to it. _If one thing's certain, Akio's never going to pay protection money._ He nearly kicked himself. _I can't let them be attacked either, though- I really have to get on top of this somehow._

Tomoya learned that he was essentially working his last day shift, at least until the gang troubles were over, and Honda was taking the opportunity to show him how to do nearly everything he had not been shown already. He felt like taking a detour after work to the school to see if he could get Miyazawa to tell him anything, but apparently she wanted to get out of the game. _The school lets out earlier anyway; there's no point._

When it was time for lunch he went over to the bakery and waited in a short line for bread like everyone else and left after telling Sanae about his developments. She seemed to have no reaction apart from nodding and saying it was okay if he wanted to sleep during the day. _Now I have to think about what other hours I'm going to be awake apart from when I'm at work._

If he woke up right before it started, he could eat supper with the Furukawa family and get some other meal on his own, probably after work. He could adapt to being up at night if he kept at it long enough; he had adapted to waking up early, but he was concerned about getting hungry during the day. _It's better if I'm just up for longer after work. I don't know what I'll do with the time, so I might just take on more hours, which I'll probably have to do anyway. I'm not expecting to be serving any customers at night, so there's no way my hourly rate won't be lower._

When work let out at last, he went back to the bakery, where he explained what was going on to Nagisa as soon as supper was over.

"Is this because I'm starting school again?" she asked.

"What?"

"I mean, you won't be able to see me during the day. Is that why you decided you would be asleep during the day?"

He wanted to say that it was his reasoning, but that was not true.

"I didn't really think of it like that. I mean, I hope I miss you less, but it's really because if the store gets attacked and destroyed, I'll be out of a job."

"Why would the butcher fire you?"

"There's no way he could afford to keep me on if someone took all the cash in the building or destroyed all the inventory. He'd have to cut costs as much as possible and I'd be the first to go. The Sasaki gang wouldn't even leave him alone after that. They'd probably be back for the protection money and if he didn't have it they'd just wreck the place again."

He admitted he was tempted to use the Miyazawa gang against them, but they kept members by getting up to the same kinds of tricks, even if their former leader said they really did provide protection. _Gangs generally can't charge fees to businesses in the territories of other gangs. If you want to encroach, you have to fight for the territory._

"What are you going to do?"

"The only thing I can think of doing is taking the night shift and waiting for them under the counter with a cleaver. I can't count on them showing up at twelve on the dot, but if they don't know I'm there, they might."

"You could get hurt doing that," Nagisa said, holding onto him. "Aren't they going to bring bats and bolt cutters and stuff?" _Damn._

"Yeah, but I can't get the police to watch the place. They'll just attack somewhere else, and they'll be back whenever the police are investigating that crime." He sighed. "I know I have to think of something better than what I have now. I just haven't yet."

His girlfriend was still leaning on him as he sat with his back to the wall. It was getting late, but it appeared she was not ready to let go. _She's really concerned about me._

He hoped that bats and bolt cutters would be the extent of what the gang would be carrying, but he could not be sure. _Last time they were carrying bats and electroshocks. I guess Mungle proved it's possible to smuggle a pistol into the country, but they're more likely to get one off a dirty cop. That or they'll just stab one._

Tomoya waited until Nagisa fell asleep and carried her upstairs, setting her down on the futon where she slept. He decided to stay up, the better to get used to the time difference, but as he came back down he found Akio. He had a concerned expression.

"I heard from Sanae you're going to be up at night."

"Were you listening to Nagisa and me?"

"Yeah. Got a problem with that?"

"Well, it's not an issue this time," he decided. "You probably know how it is, then."

"You're not the only one who's going to be staying up late. If they're threatening you they'll probably threaten us too."

"They might. I don't know whether or not you're in their territory. If you aren't, I don't know for certain they won't come here. The only place I can be pretty sure they're not going to go is the school." The old man seemed to take his word at face value.

"I'll reach out to some other businesses in the area. If enough people are up watching, we'll at least know where they're going when they get there."

"That sounds like a good idea. There's a laundromat right across from me." _I can watch out for someone coming after them while I watch out for the butcher shop._ "Is there any way we can get businesses to turn on their exterior lights on at night? We'd be able to see them, but they wouldn't be able to see if we were watching."

"Sounds like a good idea." Akio said nothing more, disappearing into some other part of the house. _He's probably still going to bed like a normal person._ Going out after waiting another minute, he set off in the direction of the old machine shop.

"Okazaki?" a voice asked. He looked over to see Yu.

"Yeah. You've heard that the Sasaki gang is making rounds, right?"

"This is the first report I have heard, sir."

"Don't call me sir. Tell the rest of the gang. They might as well know that there's someone impersonating one of you." _If he hasn't heard about it, whoever is in charge probably hasn't, and that means it wouldn't have gotten down to some guy I barely recognized. He just switched sides, all there is to it._ He had a momentary hope that the whole thing had been faked, an attempt to get the police to swoop in on place at a certain time, but he doubted it. It was too much effort for a distraction, and most businesses knew better than to call the authorities if they had no concrete information to give them.

"Roger," Yu said, saluting and running off. Tomoya was having difficulty thinking of why he had expected anything resembling help from the Miyazawa gang. _They're just more of the same, really. It'd be trading one problem for another if I tried to get them to patrol the area where I work._ He sighed, walking to the nearest grocery store, where he picked up a few things that had been on the list for the Furukawa family. It was one of the last bits of free time he was going to have in a while, since the next time he would be at work would be at closing time the following day.

_It's going to be a rough next few nights._


	60. The Night Shift

Getting to work the following day, it felt weird clocking in at closing time, even though he had hardly been working long enough to get into the schedule. Honda told him a few things he figured he needed to know, including where he had left the list. Looking at it, there was not nearly enough tasks to keep him busy until morning. _That's just kind of how it is, running a butcher shop. There's nothing to do if you're caught up except try to find some way of bringing new customers in._ He wondered if the boss would be at all interested in letting him set up a website, but he would have to learn how first, and there was no guarantee that would work. _Never heard of anyone looking up a butchery on the internet._ He was lost in thought, mulling over how he could potentially spend his time when the bell in front of him rang.

"Yes?" he asked, looking up and seeing a police officer.

"You look a little lost there."

"I was. To be honest, I wasn't expecting anyone. We just started having a night shift today." Looking over at the clock, somehow it was already after sunset. He had gotten a few things done, but he had not exactly been in a hurry.

"Well, that's great. There are a lot of us on the night shift, you know. Todoroki's divorced, so now he can never get his errands done."

"Huh. That happens, I guess." It was not as if he did not know things still moved around at night, but he was under the impression that his town of Hikarizaka was at least somewhat sleepier than Tokyo. "What happened with that?" he asked, not knowing if the officer was going to order anything or not.

"Well, I don't know, since he changes the story every time."

"Really."

"I mean, he does, but I'm pretty sure he hit her."

There was a pause.

"Did you want to order something?"

"Yeah, what the hell, I'll have a porterhouse,"

"Okay, center-cut?"

"Yeah, that works." _Doesn't know the difference._ Tomoya wrapped the meat in paper before putting it over the counter. It was pre-weighed, like all other standard cuts, so both he and the customer already knew the price, which he was quick to pay. Looking at the reverse of the new ¥2000 note, there was something odd about the text, but it seemed better to take it for the time being. _I can ask Honda about it when-_ The officer was out of the store.

Grumbling to himself upon realizing he would not be able to ask his boss about it, since they would be seeing very little of each other, he looked in the register, but the damn thing had already been cleaned out. _Well, if he's thinking there's a chance the place could be robbed..._

Having handled a fair few bills in the past few days, he was inclined to trust his gut feeling that the one he had just been handed was a fake. It was not a wise move to announce his suspicions in front of the cop, though, because the chances that it was just an honest mistake were pretty low. He wrote a note to Honda, not knowing what else to do, and left it in the back with the bill underneath it.

Even as he set about doing his other tasks, the thought of what had just taken place would not leave his mind. Ordinarily, police were supposed to respond to domestic violence, and if they had a suspect, they were supposed to make an arrest. The individual charged with the crime would not be able to continue working in law enforcement until the trial was over. _If she didn't report it, she didn't report it, but they shouldn't have looked the other way if they had some evidence._ The only reason he had been thinking of it was because he doubted police personally owned any counterfeit printers, but so if they had a fake bill or two lying around, it was probably evidence from a case. _Don't need a degree to know it's illegal to use that._

Tomoya went about the rest of his tasks, which took him longer than he thought, but did not nearly carry him through to morning. He was already getting tired, of course, but there was nothing to be done about that. At some point or another, he would have to get used to being up at night. Having the front lights on meant it was hard for him to see far out of the shop, but he could at least see anyone standing around the door without being seen himself. _I could probably talk to Honda about getting a third guy to work the graveyard shift, but then we might as well pay the protection money._

Noticing he was getting hungry, he knew it would defeat the current purpose of his employment if he stepped out for a bite to eat. _What I should really do is just bring a damn hot plate in here. I wouldn't need much more than a hamburger, and I wouldn't have to leave the butchery._ At the same time, he knew for a fact that everything in the display was safe to eat as it was because of the incredibly strict national regulations on animal products, but raw meat was never that appetizing for him.

After he stood there with his stomach growling for another hour, he decided it was already past midnight, and no one had come to the store with the threat yet, or Honda would have mentioned it. He left out the back so that no one would see the front door open and walked to the bakery, getting there more quickly than normal by cutting across the street without negotiating traffic. True to his word, Akio was staying up, but just barely. _He's going to get used to it at some point. I'll just pay for the bread and be on my way._

He ate the bread only as he arrived back and saw that no one had taken the opportunity to break in. Eating dinner with the Furukawa family several hours ago, though it felt like a lot longer, had been nice and he probably got enough in the way of green vegetables to balance out his diet that was already heavy in carbohydrates and was expected to be heavy in proteins.

Sighing, he guessed one benefit of being hungry, which he was no longer, was that it was harder to fall asleep. It was not as if he was dozing off while standing there, but he had years of bad habits built up that were hard to ignore. _That and I've got a few months of good habits biting me in the ass. Ever since I started taking school seriously, there was no way I could pull an all-nighter, especially with the stress._ He figured it would not be too bad to take breaks in the shop if he could count on himself to wake up, but alarms rarely worked for him. Somehow he just slept through them every time.

There was a customer. He looked to be some kind of industrial worker, maybe some kind of twenty four hour engineer or something similar, judging from the uniform. He did not seem to know what he wanted, so Tomoya pointed out a few things that were in the middle of the price range. Honda had suggested against indicating only the most expensive items, since it was sub-optimal for customer retention. As far as he knew, that was basically the most important stat for his boss.

The worker waved and left without saying anything, or purchasing anything, though it was not as if he got a cut of that himself. He decided the butcher might be interested to know they were getting a handful of customers after hours, so he went ahead and added it to the note. The shop and the world outside got a bit lighter and he realized it was pretty close to sunrise. _There's no way the gang is coming now. I'll sweep up and stagger home._

When at last he was back at the bakery, it occurred to him he had not been anywhere else in days. He rolled out the futon and got into it almost immediately, then got out so he could take a shower, then got back in because the family was probably still mostly asleep. Hearing movement, he guessed it was Akio getting up early to bake the bread. _Old habits really do die hard._

He felt like time passed almost immediately when he woke up. _At least that means I didn't have any dreams. Maybe I've gotten away from that timeline._ Seeing it was a few minutes before supper was meant to start, he went head and took a shower, waking himself up. _Well well well, time to start this shit all over again._

Learning from the butcher and keeping himself busy most of the day was tolerable. The boredom of guarding the store was the exact opposite. Even in his least favorite classes, he had never had such a mind numbing span of time, and they were all substantially shorter spans. Sighing as he ate dinner, he asked if there was a hot plate he could borrow for the night.

"Oh, you're going to cook at work?" Sanae asked. "That sounds like a great idea." She returned momentarily with what looked like a recently unplugged hot plate with an even more recently cleaned frying pan.

"Uh, thanks. How's school, Nagisa?"

"It's what I expected," she said, smiling a little. "I asked Miyazawa, and she says she's out of the gangs-" _Damn._ He had not wanted to involve his girlfriend; that was the last thing he wanted. The last thing he had imagined was that she would involve herself.

"Well, then it's better not to bring it up around her. I'll be fine."

"He'll be fine because I'll be fine," Akio said. "No gangs are going to go around demanding protection money from us!" _They won't need to if you're asleep again._

"Daddy, you said it wasn't that much," his daughter intoned. "You said that the only reason-"

"It won't be that much at first," Tomoya said. "The trick is once they've got everyone paying it, they can start getting more members, and then they can start going after bigger targets. It's not important if not everyone's on the payroll, but once they start smashing things they can raise it as high as they want. Really, you find out a few of their names, you can arrest some of their family members on obstruction charges, and then the whole thing starts to fall apart."

"You heard anything from the police?" the old man asked.

"Nothing that sounded terribly honest. I'll ask what they know if they come by the butchery tonight." He waved goodbye to the family and was on his way. He wanted to get there a moment before, so he could go in the back way and plug the hot plate in, but Honda saw him anyway.

"I got your note," he started. "Got plans for a midnight snack?"

"Yeah. What are we doing with the bill?"

"Wait for some other officer to come in and say you got it from a customer. Show him the store copy of the receipt."

"Alright, you do the same if you see anyone during the day," he said, going inside with the hotplate. _I don't really want to be lugging this thing in every day. I know the Furukawa family isn't using it at night, and I could theoretically just bring it back and forth every day, but what about when I move out? Shouldn't I have my own then?_ The apartment from the dream had something plugged in, but he assumed it had not come with cooking equipment built in.

Tomoya shook his head. There was a chance he could stay up long enough to go out and buy a hot plate to leave in the butchery, but that would only be after a few days of being in the shop. If he were really getting bothered by carrying the machine a few blocks every day, he had bigger problems than just that. The thought of fighting some detachment of a gang by himself was already frightening, and groaning after every physical task was a grim reminder that he was out of practice since basketball. It was a good thing that Honda did not mind his using the hot plate, at least, though he hoped it was sufficiently implied he would be using whatever looked like it was about to go bad.

He knew for a fact they could get away with selling meat past the prefectural mandate, but the boss's restrictions were even more conservative. Having a customer complain about something being 'gray' or smell weird had a chance of ruining the shop. The sausage was usually the last to go, but somehow they always had some at the end of its life, so he started cooking one up after a few hours of doing his nightly tasks with nothing else happening. He had asked why they could not simply sell nearly expired items at lower prices, and the answer was that the customer base would just wait until everything was nearly expired, because they knew damn well the meat was still good at that point.

The sausage was a filling midnight snack, and he went ahead and unplugged the hotplate, reminding himself he would be carrying it back. Picking it up and putting it down again, however, gave him an idea. _All this time and nothing to do with it. Might as well lift something._ There were no good weights, he supposed, not in the conventional sense, but he could always do the exercise he skipped in gym. There was plenty he could do without any equipment, and it would keep him awake, if nothing else.

Time seemed to pass more quickly before he heard the door open, which made him get up immediately. He was not expecting the gang would be there, since the threat had not been officially delivered yet, but he could not rule it out entirely. Surprisingly, it was this other police officer.

"Todoroki?" he asked.

"How did you know?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Not important. I got a counterfeit bill from a customer last night. I saved the receipt."

"Do you... do you think he knew it was counterfeit?"

"I think he probably did. Wouldn't make a difference, would it? Either way, you have to ask him where he got it." _Can't figure out the exact point of these questions. He might be trying to see if it's another cop, but he might just be trying to get out of it._

"Okay, I'll write up a report."

"You do that. I'm interested in learning how this case is resolved, and so are the other businesses in the area. How should I ask the city for updates?"

The officer scratched his head a moment. _There are limits to what the police can do. That's not really a problem, as long as you know where the limits are._

"You could inquire with the mayor's office, I think. A general description of the case should be enough to get them to look into what they have on it. I can't promise a lot, though. The truth is, we never recover all the counterfeit every time some gets out into the system. They start spending it way before we're made aware of it, and it changes hands so quickly sometimes it even goes international." He looked around before walking out.

Generally speaking, his experiences with the police had been mostly good. He had no complaints with the concept of law enforcement, or, for the most part, its practice. What annoyed him was the internal checks to keep things from getting investigated. A few years ago, the Fujibayashi family lost some possessions in a robbery and the department said there simply was not going to be an investigation. _I'm sure there was some kind of reason for it, but they were still annoyed about nothing coming about._

Another visitor interrupted his thoughts. It appeared to be some high school kids on the younger side. It was pretty clear the three of them had been drinking.

"Get the fuck out of here," he said, getting out a knife he had been meaning to sharpen.

"What?"

"You're not here to order anything, are you?"

"I mean, no, but-"

"Nothing more to say about it, is there?"

"Thought I saw you in basketball one time..." one of them was saying as they left. Perhaps it was meant to make him understand they had a legitimate reason for coming to visit him, and he supposed it really should not have bothered him, but somehow that whole age group was starting to get on his nerves. It was like having a job and having responsibilities every day was just this unbridgeable gap between the world of boys and that of men. There was more to it, he knew, there was the fact that only just recently he might have bothered some guy in a store on a whim, and that annoyed him.

His fist tapped the counter, but there was work to be done before morning. Getting some basic exercises in before sweeping and cleaning the place up, he guessed the reason the teenagers were out so early had to do with the alcohol, but it was none of his business. He doubted they were involved with a gang, after all.

Waving to a tired-looking yet still awake Akio as he arrived at the bakery, his real concerns returned to his mind.


	61. Midnight Black

At some point that predawn morning he realized he had forgotten to bring back the hot plate, but Sanae told him to think nothing of it. She had not needed it either for lunch or supper, though he had no doubt she noticed it was missing, as transparently as she acted to the contrary. He ate supper with the family, noticing a bit of a wistful look in Nagisa's face. She followed him outside.

"You don't have homework?"

"I can do it later."

"You want to see what I do at work?"

"Sure," she said, brightening a little and looking up at him. "I'll have to go back, though..."

"I'll make sure that I remind you before it gets too dark. Hold on, let me talk to Honda." He went ahead of her as they approached the butchery.

"I saw a cop last night, and I showed him the receipt like you asked. He said there'll be an investigation, so that's something." The boss nodded sagely. "I should mention there's a good chance the guy's actually innocent. They said every time there's dirty money, or every time there's counterfeit, they never manage to clean it all up before some of it gets circulated, and then it turns up in the oddest of places.

"That's what they'd say, but that doesn't mean they don't have a good reason for saying it."

As the butcher disappeared, he called his girlfriend over, though she was standing around whistling and did not hear him at first. _I don't think I've ever met anyone this cute._ She asked him to explain his smile as she saw him and fast-walked over, but he only shook his head.

Showing her the shop made him a little bit prouder than he thought it would, especially because it seemed he had learned way more than he realized. It was not as if the job required little intellect or capacity for learning, as he might have thought a few years ago, it just relied on a lot of knowledge that made no sense to teach in school. It was a highly specialized set of skills as well. Nagisa watched him go through his tasks for a minute before he noticed she disappeared. _What? Is it that late already?_ The sky outside was pitch black.

He had no customers for the next few hours, so nothing interrupted his exercises, though he still kind of hated it and found it boring. Tomoya had of course heard of fitness nuts in his day, and bodybuilders just took it to the extreme- well, body builders and profession athletes, though he supposed that meant there were different extremes, but he did not understand the drive, at least not the way they did, evidently. It eluded him entirely how someone could enjoy it. _Oh, well, at least it passes the time._

Before he knew it, he had passed midnight. His stomach did not notify him that it was time to eat, so he guessed he was still getting used to that. Looking around in the freezer, he could not find anything that looked like it was on the edge, so he turned to the uncommon cuts. There was a cut of pork lard he knew they would not manage to sell, so he could reduce that into something like a stock, then probably throw in some organs. It would make a decent soup, probably. There was a customer, so he would have to come back to that.

"Are you making something?" Akio asked as soon as he got to the counter.

"Yeah. Are you watching the bakery?"

"Don't get smart with me, boy. I thought I would make a break in things and pick up some cutlets. It couldn't hurt to step out for a few minutes." _That probably means neither he nor Sanae has received an official threat. Honda would have mentioned it if he had._ Tomoya had some understanding that the lady of the house ran a tutoring side-hustle for young children, which meant she could not do that and watch the store during the day at the same time. He did not, however, know exactly how he knew that.

"How's business?" he asked, getting out some pork cutlets. "I'll bet you're keeping the wife busy."

"You'll do it too if you know what's good for you," the old man snapped, probably before thinking it over. "I only mean that my wife is a quite enviable treasure, and other men may make the mistake of saying untoward things about her while I am not around," _I didn't think he knew the word 'untoward'._ "It saves trouble and bruises for everyone if we avoid that sort of thing."

"Oh, so before she ran the shop herself during the day, what did you have her doing?"

"Well, for a few years- a few years after we'd gotten our priorities straight, I couldn't convince her to leave our daughter alone for more than five minutes- you ever make a mistake, and you will- don't live the rest of your life trying as hard as you can to do the exact opposite." It was a strange thing to say for a man so protective of his daughter, he supposed, but perhaps things had been a bit different in those days. "Anyway, I think she realized she just liked children and working with small children, so she made a whole thing of it. Whenever school's out for the brats, she teaches them."

"She sounds patient."

"You don't know the half of it. They all think they are, but none of them is even one percent as cute as Nagisa."

The old man waved and left.

The conversation gave him an idea, so as he went back to the hot plate and started doing pushups in front of it, he decided he could write a note to Honda and get him to tell Ryou if she came back that Kyou might benefit from talking to Furukawa Sanae. He did not know the butcher would be especially interested in helping out a friend of his, but it always paid to be nice to the regulars, so there was that.

His midnight snack was decent, and it was met with the otherwise absence of activity. To the casual observer, perhaps it would appear a wasted effort that he had come out to the shop every night thus far, but he was getting himself into the routine, and the way his boss clapped him on the back whenever they crossed paths, at least to him suggested that the tasks were saving him valuable time.

Going back to exercising after finishing the note to his employer, he expected that he would probably not get any more customers for the rest of the time he was there. He felt less stiff and out of shape by the time he was done, and he went back to the bakery to see Akio wave at him. _Good to get into the rhythm, I guess._ In truth he knew he could not keep it up forever, and being on the night shift kind of ruined his scheme of running up his tips by running deliveries all the time, so he was not really building up savings in the way that he had wanted, but he had heard nothing more from his father, so he assumed the man was getting himself out of debt. _I'm just happy I remembered to bring back the hot plate this time. Wouldn't want that to be a routine._

When he finally went to sleep, he decided he needed to make plans about where he was going next, but he could do that at work. He knew he could not impose upon his girlfriend's family forever, even if they liked having him over, and at some point he was pretty likely to move into an apartment. _I can't do anything else. The property values in the area are just too high, and there's no one who wants to move into a house with me._

The next day, he expected the Furukawa family noticed some trace of displeasure in his expression, and he told them it was not because of dinner, which was good as always. If anything, the pork cutlet bowls reminded him of Sunohara, which kind of made him want to check on the guy. _If he's working as a PA, he's probably got odd hours. I could maybe try giving him a call on the store phone before getting started on anything else._

Honda had a bit of a grim expression.

"Something happen today?"

"Your friend didn't turn up, but someone else did. It was a big guy, calling himself Sasaki."

"He made the offer, then." Tomoya decided it was better not to presume his boss had turned him down.

"Said there were a lot of distasteful characters around here. Knew just the way of keeping them out." The older man shook his head. "Don't think he expected me to take him at his word. I called the police and told them I was being extorted and they said they'd gotten the same complaint already." He pointed at the laundromat across the street. "They were a bit plainer about it with the broad who runs that place."

"Didn't say the date or anything?"

"You'll have to ask her."

He got into the butchery and started on his tasks. Time was at last of the essence, and he could call his old friend whenever. From this point on, the honeymoon was over. He would have to assume the gang could attack at any time, and he would have to make himself responsible for any of the businesses in the area. Making sure the exterior lights were on, he looked around and saw a bar and a smaller convenience store, and a bit beyond that there was a post office. _They can't threaten them, not really. They don't have money they can give out for protection, and it's not as if any of them would lose a job if the place got raided._

Tomoya had of course heard of bar owners having weapons, specifically shotguns, but he knew that sort of thing was just in movies. At least where he had grown up, bar fights were not all that common, and if they happened, the bartender usually just called the police to throw them in jail for the evening. He liked to think the Japanese criminal justice system was mostly fair and compassionate, but apparently jails were pretty rough. He had heard a few stories from the Miyazaki gang.

Standing around in the dark doing pull-ups on a door frame, he could see most of the other businesses in the area. His best bet was the laundromat, since the Sasaki minions seemed angry at her, at least according to Honda, who heard it from a desk clerk at the department, who heard it from her. _It could be explained by everyone else refusing to make the payment. That's what they prefer, rather than doing the work of wrecking some local business and then running the risk of going to jail. What's worse is they're basically confessing to having done it if they go back to the people they attacked before and demand payment to keep it from happening again._

Thinking about it, the plan had a chance of falling apart entirely if everyone refused to pay, because they could probably only attack one place at a time, and having people not cooperate would be demoralizing for the minions. _What'll be worse than that is the first place they hit, they get a surprise._ He looked around the store and found the black uniform the butcher had worn decades ago when he was trying to contrast the traditional uniform to stand out. _This could serve as a disguise._

Hearing something outside the store, he put on the spare uniform without thinking about it any further. _Can't afford to waste time._ He picked up a knife that looked more like a normal kitchen knife than any specialized tool of a butcher. There were three guys outside the laundromat. _I can't just scare them. They'll only be back tomorrow._ Right as they forced the door open and set off the alarm, he closed the distance and stabbed one of them under the ribs. Perhaps they would have liked to think they would respond swiftly and effectively, but the truth was they were shocked, one dropped the hammer he was carrying and hand to pick it up again. The guy who was bleeding totally lost it so he stabbed one of the other guys and ran off. _They can't chase me while two of them are injured._

Tomoya bundled up the uniform and considered ducking into the bar, which he knew was open, but the owner would remember if someone came in this late at night. He went around back of the building and waited for the coast to clear, keeping the knife inside the uniform. It seemed like a good idea to abandon it, especially if the gang members had done something really stupid and called the police, which would only get the laundromat lady to tell them they broke into her business and were going to wreck the place. At the same time, his height and weight would be enough for him to be suspicious and it would be less than ideal to never get the black uniform back. Taking a peek out into the street, he saw no trace of the Sasaki gang members.

He went back to the butcher shop by the back entrance, cleaning the knife and putting the uniform through the sink. He was pretty sure he had gotten one of them in an artery, which was going to bleed all over the place, but probably not kill him. _They don't have any right to just extort the whole neighborhood, but we don't want a body._ He found himself annoyed he had essentially put up with Miyazawa's operation for as long as he had, but he guessed she had a way of making things seem legitimate. Seeing he had a few hours left, he went back to exercising. _I can't right a note to Honda about this. It'll be a confession, and it'll mean he put me up to it._

Eventually he went back to the bakery, more tired than he had been all the time he had been working the night shift. He would like to think that it would be over just like that, but a man dressed in black stabbing people was going to interest their leader more than scare him. _The trick is keeping it up. If they keep not getting money out of the effort of attacking local businesses, it won't be worth the pain._

"Did you see anyone?" he asked Akio tiredly as he got back.

"I saw some guys moving around, but I couldn't tell where they were going. If they were just walking around, I didn't want to attack them."

"That makes sense. If they'd broken into a store, though-"

"Yeah, with everything we already know, I wouldn't hesitate." He saw that Tomoya had brought back the hot plate, but did not comment on that. "See you tomorrow,"

"It is tomorrow." He stopped. "I saw a man dressed in black stab some guys who broke into the laundromat. I didn't call the police because I thought the owner of the other place would. It seemed pretty likely she'd be up."

The following evening, his head felt almost as if he were waking up normally, though getting used to it would be its own punishment. One way or another, the arrangement would not be permanent, and he would have to accustom himself to getting up in the morning again. _There's no way Honda would let me keep working the night shift with how little customers we get every night._

After supper, he met the man himself, carrying the hot plate again. If it was making him suspicious at all, the butcher did not show it. He was standing around in the street outside the shop with a lady a few years younger than himself. There was also a police officer.

"This is Okazaki. Okazaki, this is Miyazawa Naomi." _Huh. I guess it could be a coincidence._ "She's the night manager of the laundromat, and she was watching the store last night." He shrugged.

"Uh, nice to meet you, I guess. Were you talking about the counterfeit money?"

"That's the least of our worries right now," his boss said, raising a hand. _He probably knows what I'm trying to do._ "Yesterday, she received a threat from a few members of a local gang. Last night, she saw them get stabbed by an unidentified assailant. Do you know anything about that?"

"I saw some guys having a scuffle when I heard your alarm go off," he answered. "Might have been some blood. I saw your exterior lights were on, so I figured you were going to call the police. Didn't see any reason to ring their phone off the hook."

"Well, that clears up where you were at the time. I think we're looking for a rival gang member." Tomoya nodded.

"It could have been that guy who came to the butchery to tell us about them. He said he was from a different gang, after all." He looked around. "I wasn't sure whether or not to believe him, but I guess if he really did know some enemies of his were about to wreck some laundromat, he could jump them when they didn't expect it, and they couldn't admit to being there."

They all stood there for a few minutes before someone said 'I guess that's it then' and they parted ways. Honda tossed him the keys from over his shoulder and he caught them without turning around. _I never thought I could be friends with an older guy._


	62. Transactions

He thought a little more about Nagisa as he got into the butchery, taking care of his tasks right away. It was true he had not been able to take her out on dates in a while, but it would have been annoying for him, knowing their relationship could not progress at all while she was still in school, and the absence had granted him the chance to see his heart grow fonder. There was very little doubt in his mind that she was the girl for him, and he could not help but feel that he had experienced this before, which might have explained how he knew the other relationships would not have worked out. _Well, with Sakagami it was obvious why it would not have worked out._

Looking up as he was sharpening some tools, he saw Kyou.

"Did you hear about-" he started.

"I heard about how Furukawa Sanae teaches small children on the side, yes. Ryou came here today and apparently your boss brought it up. He also told her you had take up the night shift." He nodded. There was something in her tone that made her sound upset, but it was best not to press her on it.

"Oh, okay. Did you talk with her?" It seemed like the obvious question.

"I did, actually. She obtained her certification to teach from home almost immediately after bringing her daughter to the interview." _Oh. Yeah, she was saying that having a kid yourself helped you with getting a teaching job, but I didn't know that also applied when you were self-employed._ "She... admitted to me that she has been exceptionally attentive of Nagisa ever since she was five." His friend paused to allow him to understand that she understood what that statement implied as well. "She also told me you were dating her."

"I'm not dating Sanae," he said. Kyou rolled her eyes. _That's an improvement over physically attacking me, I guess._ "I mean, she has a husband. Have you thought about getting married?"

"I have, actually. It didn't work out." _Don't tell me you were seriously thinking about marrying me._ "Anyway, I talked to Harada a few days ago and they're having trouble finding a place they can afford. For some reason they have their hearts set on moving into a house rather than living in an apartment a few years like everyone else. I was thinking about moving in with them because they both seem so... domestic, and it might rub off on me, but the interview went well enough to where I no longer have that concern, and I don't have any intention of teaching out of my home." She looked around, as if someone would be watching the two of them talk in an empty shop after sunset. "So I guess what I wanted to say is thank you."

"That's great to hear. Are you going to be starting work soon?"

"The lower school is bringing me on as an apprentice for this year. I'll still be getting paid. It already started, of course, so I'll have some catching up to do." She exhaled gently. "I should also thank you for giving me an answer earlier. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I know you wouldn't have been happy with me."

"That doesn't mean no one will," he offered, finishing up his tasks.

"I know that." She took a deep breath. "I guess you figured it out, though. I came to you for help because I knew it would be hard to talk to you. I decided that if you could interview me, then anyone could. I appreciate the fact that you didn't go easy on me."

"It's no trouble, really," he said. "It was actually a lot easier helping you than it was helping a lot of other people." _Especially once I realized I couldn't help you the way you wanted._

"I've heard. Are you interested in living with Harada and her fiancé?"

"Yeah. Give them a call and tell them I've got a job; they'll know I'm good for at least half the down payment." _It'd probably be better just to give them the money informally. The bank doesn't want to see any mortgage with the name Okazaki on it._ "You want anything?"

"Yeah, I'll have some chicken wings." He nodded. There were dishes that focused around the wings for some reason in Korea, though he could not say whether they showed up before or after the Americans. Tomoya rang her up and she left, disappearing into the dark. He doubted the gangs would attack her, but he still felt bad about letting her go home as late as it was. _It's not like I asked her to come here, though. I'll just do something nice for her later._

He went back to his exercises after eating, not expecting an attack on the butchery itself. It was quite possible one of them knew where their attacker worked, but even if they had anything like real evidence, they would sooner resort to violence than going to the police. He was less worried about law enforcement, because they had already been informed of most of the facts of the case by the night manager across the street, and if any other witnesses came forward to talk about the masked stabber or where he went, they would have to explain what they were doing out so late at night.

Hours passed without anything going on outside. It was incorrect to say he was entirely lucky that he was uninjured, because he did take his targets by surprise, but he was certainly grateful. Exercise would be substantially more painful if he had been nicked with a knife of theirs, and substantially more essential for his chances of survival. Not for the first time, he wished Sakagami were present, but he knew he could not keep calling her for everything. He had nothing to offer her in exchange for her help, and he really kind of doubted she was brutal enough for the job. Every time he had seen her fight, her victims went down mostly unharmed, and woke up dazed and confused later, if in pain. _She once beat up Sunohara three times in the space of a few hours. If she'd really been trying, he'd be dead._

Tomoya stopped to wonder whether that memory was real or not before giving it up.

What he needed to deal with the Sasaki gang was injuries. He couldn't afford to drop bodies, even if he wanted to, but injuring one man took two out of the battle, as an old expression went. The next few guys who would be sent out to the street would probably be uninjured, and he would have to fix that. _They'll definitely be hitting other businesses in other parts of town, but it's completely outside my control. There's only so much I can do, and if I do any more I'll wear myself out and probably just get caught._

Taking a break from exercising, he walked over to the bar after verifying there was no one on the street.

"You hear about the stabbing?" he asked the bartender. It was a woman a few years his senior. She nodded. "There's a baker over that way who thinks we should organize and protect each other from the gangs." She shrugged. "It should keep us from having to pay the fees."

"That doesn't matter to me," she said. "I already paid."

"What?"

"Not the bravest thing, I guess, but... whatever." She shrugged again and started cleaning out a different glass.

"Why are you still here this late at night, then?"

"The bar's part of a corporate chain. This is just the only one in town. Policy from up top is to stay open around the clock. I got the graveyard shift." Tomoya guessed that also explained why she was not concerned about other businesses in the area.

"Oh, so the fee came from up top? Do they know they're paying a gang?"

"I do. I just reported that there was about half a million yen missing from the register. I told the guys who wanted the money they could find it out back in a trash can after the day shift throws out the trash. They grumbled about it, but they probably figured it wasn't my money." _If they got it out of the trash can right after the day crew added to it, they'll think it wasn't there until the day crew put it there. That's what they'll tell the police if they're caught, and if the day crew didn't report that the money was missing, corporate would be more likely to suspect them._

"Well, I can't deny you're clever." There seemed to be no point to that, or really saying anything else. The limited praise conversationally implied that there was something else he thought of her, but he was not saying it. Tomoya left and went back to the butchery. _I really only wanted to be away for a few minutes anyway._

His understanding of the law said that the threat must be to his own life and it must be ongoing to use the self defense exception, and he knew that definitely did not apply when he went across the street to attack some gang members, but if he were in his own shop, he had a better argument. He could easily get the court to believe they attacked him if they were in his shop, and getting cut was the reasonable explanation of attacking any given butchery, whether it was legal or not. The problem, obviously, was the rest of the street.

He kicked the door frame as he walked back through it. It had already been perfectly apparent to him that there was only so much ground he could cover under the best of circumstances, even assuming that Sasaki did not order two attacks at once. What he had to learns was that there was absolutely no way of protecting those who did not want to be protected. _It'd be great to just say screw them, but now the gang gets more money. There's only one way I can think of to make it go back to them._

Finishing up work and leaving as morning approached, he tossed around the idea of the mysterious stabber going after their headquarters, but that took it about as far from standard self defense as it could get, and if he knew where to find them, it seemed more effective to send the cops there. He might have waved to Akio, but he guessed the old man was off putting bread in the oven or something. _I should really learn how to make bread at some point. Well, that or develop an iron stomach. Sanae's bread would cut my food budget in half._

Nagisa had apparently woken up early just to see him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'll be fine. Don't be waking up so early every day on my account." He smiled. "I'm sure you're used to stepping over me in the morning already."

She looked down.

"You know why I get worried. You're just acting like it's nothing because I can't handle it." He could not tell if that was a confession or not. "I know you're tired, so..."

"Do you want me to scare you all the time?" he asked. "If I told you what happened tonight, which is mostly nothing, would you believe me?" He sighed. "I can make up stories to scare you if you want. I'm just not going to do that." He held her for a moment before she nodded. They kissed briefly and she went back up the stairs. _Doesn't want her parents to realize she woke up early to see me._

He went to bed almost as soon as Nagisa went upstairs. If anyone heard them talking, he would just have to deal with that when he woke up, just like he would have to deal with most other things. He was still working out how he was going to get back to going on dates.

Eating with the family, he felt like he had only slept a little. Akio told him there had been a call from a girl named Harada who wanted to talk to him when he got off work. _Kyou might not have mentioned I have the night shift._ He sighed and called her back in the other room, carrying the rest of his rice with him.

"Hey, do mind the location? It's about three or four blocks from the school." _Down to business. Well, I had better hurry as well._

"You know the old mall near the school? Is it anywhere near there?"

"Yes, it is more in that direction than the other way."

"Okay, then it should work. You don't have to put my name on anything, you can even sub-let to me if you like-"

"No, we want it to be yours in part. Ao heard about your new job." _Could know the old man from somewhere, I guess._

"Oh, well, maybe I can deliver for you two when you have your wedding." He could almost hear her gentle smile over the phone. "I'm actually about to start work because I have the night shift-"

"Oh! Don't let me keep you!" she said, hanging up quickly. She had seemed legitimately surprised. Getting the hot plate and going, he felt like it was a little more comfortable in his grip. The job was mind-numbingly boring, but at least it had its physical benefits. Honda was looking at him with an appropriate expression for someone five minutes late.

"See anything last night?"

"It was just a bit hard to get to sleep." The butcher nodded. "I'm thinking it'll happen tonight. It won't be the same guys, but they're more likely to attack here than anywhere else."

Getting into the shop, it was almost dark already. It seemed like time was passing more and more quickly, but that was just what it was like, getting used to a routine. In school it always seemed like every day was different, or at least it did once he started making things happen. _What do I have to do to keep that going? Change my career every few years?_

He shook his head as he set about his tasks. It was not as if he had the next five years planned out, and being honest with himself he could not predict the next three weeks. There was some reason to be attached to his current job, but not if it was trying to kill him. He put down the mop he was using to clean the floor. _I'm not doing this just for the job. The main reason I'm pissed at these Sasaki fuckers is because I got mixed up with the other guys._ Picking up the mop again, he decided if the Miyazawa guy from earlier came by again, he was probably going to offer protection from the other guys. _I hope no one falls for that. Even if they were able to keep them off the streets, it'd just be trading one problem for another._ He remembered his earlier position that it was probably better to have two gangs in town than one, but that also served to convince people that one was the good one and the other was bad.

There was a sound coming from outside. _Can't attack them if they're just walking around-_ It was a customer, oddly enough.

"Evening, sir," he said, getting behind the counter. The man looked like he had been up a good while. "What'll it be?" There was no response for a moment.

"Sorry, I'm tired. Just get me whatever you have that's cheap. The school year just started and it's been a nightmare."

"Are you a- wait, I think I recognize you. You're the soccer coach."

"Yeah, that's what I do. I'll have some chicken thighs, actually. My sister's been going on about how we never have anything good. It's like there's no reason for it."

"Well, I can promise the meat's good. I slaughtered that one myself an hour ago."

"Thanks," he said, handing over the price after getting it wrong twice. _He's really been up a long time. Probably has to coach the kids early in the morning, then the older teams at night._ The coach disappeared without a trace.

It was weird, but every time a customer spoke to him, he was getting some idea of what was going on in his or her life. Some of them were more taciturn than others, but he expected that the fact that it was either Tomoya or Honda behind the counter every time made a difference. _There's no point getting to know whatever teenager works in the grocery store this week. I guess that has its own appeal to it, though. It makes things simpler._

This time the noise was something less innocent.

He could see them from across the street. There were four of them, and he knew they saw the coach leaving. Walking over to the door, he tried to remain calm as he locked it, then went into the back to get a bucket from the slaughter. One bucket would probably do it, as long as they didn't see it coming. He already had the knife picked out; it was a proper cleaver, one that left unmistakably different cuts on meat and bone than the blade he had used in the other costume.

_I just kind of hoped that I'd never have to pick it up._


	63. Slips and Falls

With four of them, the odds were against him. The weapons they were carrying really did not matter at this point, at least not with the strategy he had chosen, but he was still hoping none of them were armed with anything better than a crowbar. Crouching behind the counter with the bucket, he waited for them to start beating on the door. _Should only take a few hits to get through the lock._ Tomoya had a sudden thought about how the hell they were going to fix the door.

"Wake up, sunshine!" someone shouted. Glancing up, he hastily estimated the door was right about to come open. Throwing a bucket of blood on the floor right as the first two forced their way through, he grabbed the knife and jumped onto the counter. This big guy slid across the floor with a choked scream and the second one was forced through after, tripping over him and struggling to right himself in the blood. Tomoya threw a meat mallet at him, hitting him in the back of the head.

There were angry screams as the last guy came in, the other guy trying to drag his injured comrade out. He seemed to have better sense than to run across a wet floor, but it gave Tomoya more time to deal with the big guy, jumping off the counter onto his back and chopping him in the arm with the cleaver. The last guy had a knife, but he put it into his pocket to get two hands on the bat one of the others had been carrying. _Going for the reach, then. Smart._

Throwing the cleaver at him was a good way to have it blocked; the first response to anything when something came at him while holding a bat was to swing. _Just have to let him hit me first._ Darting an arm forward, the other guy swung right as he pulled back, stepping forward right behind the swing. The obvious thing was to turn the bat around in mid-air, but it was not going to hurt him that much. Steeling himself, Tomoya hit the other guy on the arm; a glancing blow, but one eliciting a scream. He took the opportunity to kick his foe backward, but it caused him to slip and fall himself. _Can't take a leg off the ground... damn._ The big guy looked like he was getting up, but was only interested in running. Looking out the door in an instant, he saw nothing of the other two. _Must've hit him hard enough he passed out or something._

It seemed the gang members were content to leave the last guy behind.

"Get up," Tomoya ordered, seeing he was lying on his side putting pressure his arm. "Not a lot of loyalty for a gang. Looks like you're not worth dying over." He found the shop phone and called the police and the paramedics. He wrote down a message to Honda in what passed for an office. "Cops are going to get here in a minute. You want to tell me why I should let you leave?" _It'll get an answer out of him. I don't care if he bleeds out._

"Go die. I'll be on the other side of the Sanzu." At a closer inspection, it appeared the cut in the arm was at least a clean one, though it went a good way into the muscle. _Can't fight if he doesn't want to bleed to death._

"I'm not killing you. You're telling me where the others are. Why wait for them to come here?" He looked at the clock. "Why wait for the cops to come here?"

"We meet about a block away from Sasaki's apartment. I've seen him leave that way too many times, and sometimes he's got a girl with him. It's an old dojo they should've torn down a long time ago, but the owner's some kind of foreign businessman who doesn't care about it. That's why we're based there. After the Second World War-" _Huh. A gang with an ideology. I don't care._

"Could be more than one dojo in the city," he said. "If you told me the address, it'd make things a little easier." The injured guy squinted at him. _Tons of young people don't really use addresses, I guess._ "Is it near anything?"

"Yeah, the police station." If he had been hoping to see Tomoya's eyes widen, he would have to be disappointed. _Great. They probably already know where it is. They just haven't made a bust for some reason._ Eventually, he decided to lie back down and keep the pressure on the wound.

By the time the law enforcement arrived, he had made a couple cuts and bruises on himself apart from the one he got from the bat. He knew that in real life, getting hit once or twice meant you were dead, because it made an opening, but he had to make himself look a bit more like a victim. If the court knew he had been waiting for the gang and basically baited them into attacking him so he could hold on to one or two of them for information, that would be reason enough to put him in prison as well. Having cut himself by accident, he could stand a few grazes over the skin of his arm, what was hard was busting his own lip, but he knew it would be convincing.

They were asking him questions as he was washing out the bucket where he had kept the blood and mopping up the place. It would hardly do to leave it to Honda, and he could keep from looking in their eyes. There were two of them looking around.

"Are you hurt at all?" one of them asked.

"It's not too bad. I'll live." He limped a little. "Two of them got away early on. I think I managed to hit one pretty hard." _Could have a cracked skull._

"The doctors say the one you gave us will probably be fine."

"Well, this may sound odd, but that's good to hear. I wouldn't want this shop to become a place where someone died."

"Why are you working so late?"

"My boss gave me the night shift almost a week ago. Just wanted someone to keep an eye on the place, I think. I made a few sales." He showed the officer his list of tasks. "This is, well, it's an example of what I have to do. It doesn't take all night, so I spend the rest of the time exercising or making sales."

"I see. Looks like you slipped in... is this blood all over the floor?"

"Yeah, it was one of my tasks. I had to wash the blood bucket out, and I came to the front of the shop when I heard them banging on the door. When I realized what was happening... well, it kind of shocked me and I dropped it." _I couldn't say that I threw it only after they came in if I wanted. They'll find a good bit of it on the bottoms of everyone's shoes, assuming they pick up the other guys sometime tonight._

"Huh. I never thought about what goes into the butcher shop. You slaughter those chickens in-store?"

"Yeah. Mostly we do it when we don't think there are going to be any more customers for the day. Ever since I've been doing the night shift, I've been doing basically all of it myself."

"That makes sense." _That's the idea._ "You didn't know about break-ins in the area?"

"Uh, there was someone maybe yesterday who came by to tell my boss about a break-in, but apparently that was some kind of gang fight. Like they ran off. Must've not been there to take anything."

"Did anyone ever come by the shop and try to extort you?"

"If they did that, they would've done it during the day. I guess you could ask my boss, Honda. Just call the shop during normal hours."

"Why would they do that during the day? Do they not operate at night?" _Okay, now he's trying to see how much I know._

"I mean, they'd break into the place at night if they wanted to take something or wreck the place, but if they wanted to talk to the boss, they'd have to come when it's light out. The man's an early riser, but I don't know of any business where the boss works the night shift. I don't know if they'd ever extort me unless they assumed I'd have access to the safe or something. I'm pretty sure Honda takes the money home with him, though. I don't know where he lives, but I would think he keeps it in a safe there."

The officer nodded along with his explanation.

"Just so you know, you're probably in the clear on a self-defense case, and if you weren't, they'd probably let you out anyway. What a lot of people who live in neighborhoods with gangs do is keep illegal weapons, but at some point the court stopped telling us to look for them during searches. Couldn't blame them for not wanting to die."

"Guess I can't blame them either."

"Can you give me an account of everything that happened?"

"I've got a rough idea. It was all kind of confusing. Oh, before you showed up, though, the guy you arrested told me they hang out in an old dojo near the police station. I was wondering if you know which one would be closest. You're probably looking for some place that's permanently shut down."

"Did he mention the name Sasaki?"

"Yeah. Are they hiding in plain sight or something?" _He knows something._

"It's a long story."

"I'm here until morning." Looking around, it seemed most of the other cops had left. He was worried they were going to keep him from mopping up the blood, but the one talking to him said nothing as he grabbed a mop. _Always had two purposes. One was so they would slip and the other was so that they wouldn't know how many of them I cut, not without doing a scan of the blood._

"The short version is, their leader is well-connected. The other guys keep around by staying out of too much trouble, but his gang keeps around mostly because they trade information on him all the time. Thing is, there was a department that went after someone like that and their budget was slashed. They can't keep everyone on when that happens."

"I mean, isn't that how things get worse? You don't go after someone, and then no one can complain when someone starts planting evidence- or getting evidence out of the locker?" The officer stared at him for a moment.

"You don't know what you're talking- you don't want to know. Look, I know you've probably dealt with gangs before, even if you haven't said anything and you haven't given me anything I can use- even if I wanted to. If we get this guy, it needs to be a case where we just don't have any choice in the matter and any other department would have done the same exact thing- that or he attacks us and we shoot him, but he's not stupid enough for that."

"What kind of evidence would you need?"

"You're not going to do it yourself, are you?"

"It's a rhetorical question. I'm just asking you if you know where his hideout is and you can't bust the gang now-"

"He'd have to do something in broad daylight." He sighed. "There's something called hands-tying." Tomoya raised an eyebrow. "Look it up at some point, I got a bit to do before my shift's over... unlike you."

He took a moment to parse the officer's comment as he watched the man leave. _What was that all-_ he turned to see his task list, noticing that everything had been completed, except for mopping, which he always had to do right before leaving. _Must've figured it was odd that I'd get everything done right off the bat. Almost as if I knew I was going to have something to do._

Going home eventually, he was grateful to be allowed to clean up the place. They were definitely going to call Honda in the morning, so he would find out about what had happened, but he would prefer his boss not find out by way of the crime scene having to be left exactly as it was. He saw Akio when he returned to the bakery, but they exchanged no words before he went to the sitting room and rolled out the futon as quickly as he could make himself do it without making a noise. The last thing he wanted was to talk to Nagisa; her worrying about him could wait until she woke up and stepped over him. It was about then that he realized he had forgotten about bringing the hot plate back.

The following morning, he guessed he must have managed to stop worrying about it, or he was just so tired he fell asleep anyway. He remembered it was not actually morning, but the sun had already set, though his girlfriend was still in her school uniform when she came to wake him. _Has she been waiting here?_

"You don't have to tell my parents what happened," she whispered. "Please, just tell me."

"It's nothing I wouldn't tell them. I'm not in a hurry to make a liar out of you by making you keep something from them." She frowned slightly, but she let him up and he got out of the futon, rolling it up. "Your father and I have seen this sort of thing coming. It's why we've been staying up at night." Nagisa nodded slowly.

"My mom told me when I got home today that they threatened her. They said that if she didn't pay them, they would not be able to guarantee she would not be targeted." She rolled her eyes in frustration as she quoted the threat.

"I hope she wasn't too put off."

"She just smiled and told them her husband would... well, he'd make life unpleasant for them." It was Tomoya's turn to nod. What had taken place was Sanae found that as much as she was unable to be afraid with someone as unhinged as Akio watching her, she was also unable to say anything frightening or hurt anyone's feelings. _That's starting to seem like a hereditary thing._

"How was school?"

"It was kind of boring, I guess. I never talked to Sakagami before, though, so we study together sometimes." _Makes sense. She's probably the smartest in her whole year._ "Oh, when you get dressed, we're going to the butcher shop."

"Why?" he asked, walking to the shower. He had some understanding that whenever she was sick, Nagisa would have to be bathed by her mother, because she was advised not to get up, even to use the shower. Tomoya really had no desire to figure out how that worked, but if she got sick again, then he would probably have to do just that. _Well, at least for the time being, there's no chance her father would ever let me touch her._

"Because you left the hot plate there, silly. Mom noticed it this morning and decided she would make supper at the shop as a way of getting to know your boss. She kind of wants daddy to get to know him as well." He closed the door and disrobed. It had been at the back of his mind, but he had thought for a little while that it would be awkward if Honda found out about his situation of living with his girlfriend's family. He was earning his keep, but the old man might have different expectations for him.

When he got out, which was pretty quick at this point, the girl waiting for him had already changed out of her uniform and into regular clothes, and not for the first time, he kind of got why girls were so against uniforms. He had never thought they were cool, but he put up with it because it was easier than picking out something new every day. With them, though, that was fun for some reason.

The two of them talked as they walked to the butcher shop, which was a pleasant change in pace. Apparently the youngest member of the Sunohara family had just started at Hikarizaka, and Nagisa was showing her around. There was also a boy who was having trouble fitting in, being a transplant from Jakarta. _Have I heard of someone like that recently? I guess it could have been the other timeline._

If one thing was certain, it was that he was putting himself further and further away from the future from his dreams. Even though he had little information about what had actually happened, he definitely felt like they were moving in a positive direction. Somehow the best part was his girlfriend telling him that it felt like her illness was less severe last time than it was the time before that.

"Huh. I mean, I guess you could be interpreting it how you want, but maybe you're right," he said as they went into the shop. "I'm willing to hold out hope that it fades." _From everything I've managed to observe, it seems like her condition is connected to some kind of event, rather than a genetic predisposition. Yeah, things definitely seem like they're looking up._

_Why does that worry me?_


	64. Sunrise

Dinner with the butcher started out pleasant. Apparently it was a funnier idea to Honda, who remembered the concept of inviting the boss over for dinner from black and white television. It amused him more than anyone else.

"I got a call from your father this morning, Okazaki. Apparently the police informed him that his son had been questioned and they wanted to let him know they might come by again. His was the address they had on file." Tomoya stopped eating abruptly, then continued. _No point in letting anyone know why I'm concerned._

Basically, the police would have had a new address on file if he had moved into an apartment, because he would have had to register the move at the government building. As far as he knew, there was a grace period; he assumed there was a grace period with most things, but his father probably did not actually believe he had moved into an apartment in the first place, because looking around took time, and he had been unceremoniously kicked out of the house. _What was the goal with that? Seeing if I had a backup plan?_

"Well, it should probably stay that way for the time being. I don't plan to impose on the Furukawas much longer."

"We've loved having you," Sanae said. _I'm sure I was good company before I started the night shift._ "Akio has as well." There was only a grunt from him, though in fairness he was in the middle of eating.

"I plan on going to live with Ao and Harada. They're buying a house, and I'm contributing to that. I'll register it as my address as soon as I'm moved in."

"There's space for three?" the old man asked.

"It's a small house, but apparently there is, or they wouldn't have sold it to me. I've never heard of a house having only one bed in it." He had a reasonable degree of trust in the couple, since he knew from experience they were both decent people. It was a father's job to question everything his daughter's boyfriend ever did, but that did not mean it would not annoy him. He decided to try to at least refrain from taking it personally.

"What really happened last night?" Honda asked.

"If it's all the same, sir, I'd prefer to tell just you."

It made things awkward, he knew, but there was little that was worse than telling Nagisa what had actually happened. He knew she was mature and could deal with sensitive subjects, but he felt like he would crush some part of her that there was no way to un-crush. The girl's mother asked about what all went on at the shop. He brought stories back to the bakery for a while before he switched to the night shift, and it made for a good conversation topic, but lately he had not had a lot to tell, or at least not a lot he wanted to repeat, for legal reasons.

When supper was over, he took up his post, reminding himself to bring the hotplate back when his shift was over. It was unfortunate that his father found out he had not done as suggested, but he supposed if he were really supposed to be an independent adult, he could stop caring about meeting expectations. _Well, that's not as easy as it sounds._

Tomoya went through his tasks, reminding himself not to be surprised if any officers showed up. They had almost certainly been told he no longer lived with his father, meaning they would find him at work. It was simpler than going around and trying to get his current address out of people he knew. He did not have to slaughter any chickens, since they were stocked on chickens, but there was a task he had not expected, which likely explained why there was less meat out on display whenever he took over for the night shift. Basically, anything that was sitting out was steadily going bad, and before he started on the nights, it was usually his job to put away whatever had not sold that day. He had not previously dedicated a lot of thought to it, nor did he intend to, but now he had to clean out the locker.

"Damn," he muttered, going through a few of the cuts that had been frozen one too many times. Looking outside, the sun had already set, but it was not time for his midnight snack yet. Most of what he was throwing out was not too great a loss, and he knew Honda would have taken it home if it had been worth anything, but he left a steak out to thaw. It would make a good snack; really it was a meal, but he was fine with that. At the Furukawa residence he had actually noticed there was not a lot of protein. Probably because they knew what he was eating every night, they seemed to be focusing on greens and bread, though they probably ate a lot of bread before that.

At some point after midnight he had a customer. He looked up from his exercising to see it was a child, a little boy. _Is he shaking?_

"There something wrong?" he asked. The boy shook his head. _Must be afraid of something._ "You're in here to get something?" He nodded. "Okay, well, you can just point and I'll get it."

He felt an odd sort of kinship with Nishina, who had to deal with this sort of thing all the time. Most of her guests were happy, but children had the least predictable emotions. _I've had it easy. All of my customers have been adults._ The kid pointed to a whole, butchered chicken, overpaid for it, and practically ran off. As always, he could only guess what the situation was.

One thing that came to mind was that his parents, if not someone else, were making him do errands at night, which frightened him. Tomoya was aware he still had a busted lip and had not been presented with the chance to wash the blood off his uniform, making it possible the kid was afraid of him, as little sense as it made. Somehow, though, it seemed like he had been afraid since before he came into the shop. There was a chance he was afraid of something totally unrelated to the experience of going to the butchery and buying something, which basically brought his mind back to the parents. There was really no way a child should be allowed to run around after midnight, so the fault for whatever happened to him, or whatever he did, lied with whoever allowed it.

 _Don't think I've ever seen him before. If I had some idea of where he lived, I could at least ask around, or more realistically get someone else to do it._ He shook his head at the thought. Everyone he knew was either working all day or going to school, and he was bordering on involving himself too much with someone else's problem. There was always some point where he could be sure it was a problem he was supposed to solve.

Thankful to have another quiet night, he mopped the floor up one last time before he noticed there was a young man outside the shop. _Damn._ He looked around. It was getting close to morning, but only a handful of people out of every hundred would be up at this hour. To make matters worse, he was tired as a dog. Not only had he stayed up for around twelve hours, he had spent a lot of that time exercising out of boredom. _I hardly even knew I was doing it. I would just look around and start doing some pushups or jumping or something- it's been helping me get to sleep._

_Now it could really be the death of me._

Trying to keep himself calm, he decided against dialing the bakery. Akio would still be awake, but there was no guarantee he would answer the phone. Even if he could make it over, he would probably be in the same shape, if not worse. _At least there's only one that I can see. I just have to hold onto this knife and wait._

It was quite possibly the most painful waiting he had ever done, staring straight ahead without trying to look at the young man looking at the shop. There was some minuscule chance the guy had nothing to do with any gang, but there was no one up this early, not for any reason except work, and he was hardly wearing a uniform. Not for the first time, Tomoya encountered a reason to hate the Sasaki gang. _They can get up at any damn hour they please, because they only ever get money by taking it from people who actually earn it._

His hands were shaking by the time Honda arrived, who seemed to have picked a good day to show up early. The old man greeted him and made some patronizing comment about how he did not still need to be there, but he went ignored until his brow creased and he walked over to quietly ask what was wrong. _Guess I can put down the knife._

"There's a guy watching this place. He's been staring at us for the better part of an hour. I don't know how long exactly. I think he's waiting to see when I get off."

"Might as well let him know, son. They're not going to attack the place in waking hours." The butcher looked over. "Definitely not going to swoop in with just one of them, not even if it's just an old man watching the place."

Tomoya wanted to believe his boss about as badly as he had ever wanted anything. He tried to think of something, something for the next day at dawn, when they doubtless had an attack planned. _The cops said that if they ever hit some place in broad daylight, they'd have to do something. They wouldn't have a choice, so they couldn't be punished by whoever is pulling their strings._

"I just... I just can't think of anything I can do."

"That's okay, son. Let's watch the sun rise for a moment. You ever been up this early?"

"No."

"I figured. You looked like that kind of guy when you got here." They walked outside. It would be more accurate to say that he shuffled, but it passed for walking. "Look to the east."

There it was. As always, the sun was rising, and for the first time, he was there to see it. Something from what felt like ages ago came to mind.

"Nature's first green is gold... her hardest hue to hold." He could not have said whether or not Honda was familiar with the poem. A pat on the back, however, told him what he needed to know.

"Go on home. You need your rest." He turned back. "The secret of it is, you were right. There's only so much you can do. Some things, they're just bigger than any one person can handle."

He did not remember the rest of the conversation. Trudging back to the bakery with even greater fatigue than he had on the first night of his new shift, he might have annoyed a pedestrian, but fortunately there were no cars on the road yet. He basically collapsed on the futon, seeing it had already been rolled out for him, without bothering to try to puzzle out who had taken the time.

Waking up, he looked around as always. It was a little later than normal, perhaps fifteen minutes, glancing at the clock as he got ready. _It'll be a quick shower today._

When he got out and sat down with the family, he apologized for forgetting to take the hot plate back. He really did not want to explain why he had been late returning, or why that stopped him from remembering, but they seemed to understand. Sanae had an announcement.

"Oh, just a few minutes ago, there was a young man outside. He said he was waiting for you."

"One minute," he said, trying to contain his expression. "Never mind, I don't know why I said that." He looked around the bakery for a knife or something he could use. _There's no other exit. Even if I could get out some other way, they wouldn't give up on the place. Best case scenario, they would figure I was skipping work, but they'd still know where the Furukawa family lives._ He sighed. _Wouldn't be any easier if they found my father's place like this. They could probably find him by looking him up._

Going outside, he found himself face to face with Sasaki.

"Okazaki. I remember you."

"I remember you. I believe you kept a good reputation of being a fair guy."

"Yeah. I went ahead and assumed you'd heard about that. I know you have to get to work, but we'll have a talk after that." Tomoya did not like the sound of it, but it seemed the gang leader had no intention of following him to the butchery. _He doesn't want Honda to see him. He did just tell me where he was going to be, though._

He shook his head as he crossed the street. Even if he called the police on the shop, and even if they showed up in time to arrest them, they'd have a hard time charging him with anything. _That was the point of arresting the other guy, to get information the leader. They still don't have enough evidence to charge him with anything that will put him in prison for a long time, though, not unless he does something in broad daylight._

Thinking about that, there was probably no way of getting the guy to attack him on his way to work. Sasaki probably already knew it was just what the police wanted, and even with as much fighting experience as he likely had, he most likely did not want to fight when he could get badly injured in the process. That was a good way for a leader to lose his position.

"Hi, Okazaki," Honda said when he approached. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept about as well as I could. How was running the shop today?"

"I didn't get any threats, if that was what you wanted to know. You know, sometimes with bullies, they say that someone standing up to them is enough. They're cowards who pick on people they never expect would resist."

"Yeah, people definitely say that." He decided not to say anything else. Involving his boss was completely pointless. If anything, he would just lose the job because at some level, the butcher was a man of good character who would not want an innocent family to be targeted by a gang because of one of his employees, and then the butchery would definitely be attacked. Maybe the police could be there at the right moment, maybe not. They were never really supposed to be the personal army of any citizen who needed them; their job was enforcing the law by investigating crimes and arresting suspects.

Tomoya watched Honda leave, taking his usual route that seemed to go past a grocery store before hitting any neighborhoods. He was delaying the inevitable, he knew, but at least he knew there was a delay in the attacks. Going in and throwing his uniform on, he found the hot plate and considered murdering Sasaki with it before deciding he would have an easier time with a knife and the same amount of luck making it look like some sort of accident. _I guess I could chop him up and keep him in the freezer. There's nothing weird about mopping blood up in a butchery, and they probably wouldn't find the body for a while._

It was thinking that was perhaps even more wishful than before, but he decided it was better to at least explore the possibility. He doubted he could actually kill someone, and even if he did they would catch him eventually and he would go to prison. _That's what the police are for, isn't it._ Implacable rage proved an obstacle for so much as reading his tasks, but he could clean the place up from memory. He could not think of any time when that was not required.

"Mad at me?" Sasaki asked. He had not noticed the gang leader coming into the shop. He was just sharpening knives. "I mean, it's probably not just me, it's probably the gang, the concept of gangs, whatever reason I haven't been arrested yet, the police, society- but I would guess you're mostly mad at me." He looked at the knives. "You've though about using those, haven't you?" Tomoya said nothing. "Oh, come on, I wouldn't tell the cops."

"Might as well tell me why you're here," he answered. "Don't suppose you want to buy something."

"I don't really buy things." He responded with only a look, a squint and a raised lip. "You don't believe me."

"Why do you want the protection money, then?"

"I bring on more guys with it. I don't pay them." Three was another look. "I got a girlfriend, you know. I just give her whatever we get and she buys whatever she wants. That's how I bring on more guys. Thing is, they're really looking at it the wrong way. I could get a girlfriend without the money and so could they, but I haven't told them that. I admit I don't think too highly of them."

"Might as well tell me why you're here."

"Well, I don't think you're like them."

"No?"

"Yeah. I've come to offer you a job."


	65. A Casual Conversation

"You're fucking insane."

"I'm not insane. What have I done that's irrational?"

"I hate you, you know I hate you, and you came here to offer me a job." He switched to cleaning some of the tools.

"Well, yeah. If you didn't realize why our operation works, why it's so effective, why we're basically winning, you'd probably make the mistake of feeling bad for us. A lot of girls do. They think we're only doing this sort of thing because we're down on our luck or something. At some point or another, they'll figure it out, but then they'll figure out that was why they liked us. I figure most young men who are strong enough to make their own way in the world would probably hate us." Sasaki strode over to the door and turned around the 'open' sign. "That's the kind of man I want working for me."

"I don't think you get it," Tomoya said, realizing he had already cleaned the knife he was holding and switching rags. "I don't think you can get it. Everything you have comes from us, people who produce and trade things. You're a drain on society and you're proud of it." His criticism seemed ineffective. _Well, I guess I knew he was proud of it._ "You wouldn't exist without us."

"Oh, no, I'm pretty sure we would, just in a bit of a different form. In prehistory, it was basically just us. There weren't even farmers; we survived off hunting and killing people with food. We couldn't really live like every other animal; our brains were too big. It took nine whole months to cook us and pushing us out was a fight to the death. Basically the only way to keep your little tribe alive was to keep those ovens firing at all times, just keep the kids coming because they can't be big enough to fight soon enough. I don't think the concept of consent existed. Women hid in caves for the vast majority of their lives, pregnant, nursing, or both, and sooner or later their next baby killed them. Wouldn't have been any better for you. If you made it to the age you are now, you'd have killed at least two people who were trying to kill you. Then, just because you survived didn't mean there was a life left for you. I can't tell you, I legitimately have no idea how many broken men walked away from a fight to the death with cracked skulls, broken ribs, squished balls, fingers ripped off, eyes gouged out-"

"You want to go back to that?" he asked, raising both arms before resuming his tasks. It was obviously taking him longer to do each one, but he still had all night.

"No, not really. If we did, we'd be taking everything you had and burning down buildings. Around the time farming came out, we realized there was a smarter way of doing it. If we left people alive and with enough to feed themselves, we could come back for more later. We needed to keep the other bandits away, so we came up with walls, palisades. It was a strategy that was sort of similar to farming, so I guess you could say we adapted it from farming, only we were farming humans. The farmers weren't really happy about it, but ultimately they put up with it out of a 'devil you know' way of thinking. As long as the bandits keeping the other bandits out were a bit better, they figured it was better than dying. Things would have gotten a little better for them when we decreased the amount we stole from ninety five percent to ninety. When they could keep twice what they could keep before, they produced even more."

Tomoya had some idea where he was going with the lesson, but he kept up all the same. If he ever learned about prehistory in school, he had already forgotten most of it, assuming he paid attention in the first place. _Better to just get the rest of my tasks done. I don't think he'll do anything, but I shouldn't let him out of sight as a matter of principle._

"You know what we called it?" Sasaki asked. "We called it taxes. Made more money off the system than we knew what to do with, and sooner or later everyone was either copying us or getting steamrolled. I mean where did you think we got kings, did everyone just decide to listen to some guy in purple robes one day?"

"You didn't just continuously stay in charge of all states until the present day," he said, in case the man across the counter actually thought that.

"No, not here anyway. The government's just a bunch of sissies and you know it. Fuck, Okazaki, what kind of system wants you to lay down and die just because the police can't get there fast enough? Why the hell would they ever think my life's more valuable than yours? Don't try to tell me they wouldn't think I came in here and attacked you just because you said I did. I've got a motive. I'm a criminal and they know it."

Tomoya did not answer the question. His tasks were done. He only stared.

"Thing is, I don't think they do. I think they know damn well your life is worth more than mine, really they'd trade mine for an acorn or a screw or something; you said it yourself, I'm a drain on society. You're not a coward. You wouldn't still be doing this job if you were scared of my men. The reason you haven't tried to behead me with a cleaver is because you know you'd go to prison for it. Why do you think that is?"

"That's not the only reason. They'd send me to prison because they can't just give a green light to everyone who thinks someone else should die."

"No, they can't. Society would fall apart. They would lose everything."

"I would lose everything."

"Well, I'm offering you a way out. You know it doesn't have to be my gang that tears your life apart. Suppose I leave town and the Miyazawa gang comes back. Don't think they'd spare you juts because they like you, and they don't like you as much as you think."

"They can't tear apart the whole world."

"No, they can't. Some places, they don't let the gangs run the streets. The strong men who would have been in gangs fight them instead. Everything works out. Russian police wouldn't put up with us for a second. If they couldn't find us, they'd go after our families and beat it out of them. Whenever a society gets a little too soft, it corrects itself."

"Japan's gotten too soft for you?"

"Do you see any samurai walking around? We haven't even had an army since the second world war. Everyone thinks we came back from our defeat, but does this really look better? Have we ever been able to take pride in our nation?" Tomoya recalled the words of the man the police arrested. _Hope they're having fun questioning him._

"The samurai were law men."

"The samurai did whatever their lords told them. The lords were just leaders of their own gangs."

"Is that what you're trying to bring back?"

"No, I'm not trying to bring back anything. This kind of thing was going to happen one way or another; we had to realize the Americans were going to win that one." _Where did you learn history? It's not like that's wrong-_ "I'm not fighting the future. I am the future."

"Get the fuck out of here."

"Think about it. In prehistory, we were restrained by a couple coordination problems and a lack of technology. Now, we're restrained by society, laws, the kinds of things the other guys had to build up in order to survive us. Isn't it time we weren't restrained by anything?"

"See, the thing I find least believable about all this is that you said girls like you."

"Oh, they don't like me. They can't get enough of me. You think their desires changed in the last few thousand years?" He made some sort of hand gesture. "We're basically the same as we were in prehistory in every other respect, that was when we learned how to survive on a basically indefinite basis. We basically haven't evolved at all since then. Nothing- good, bad, ugly- nothing ever gets selected out because anyone can make it if they try hard enough."

"Why is that bad? You still haven't explained how they like you."

"Well, let me finish. You think a pregnant wild boar loses her shit over it if she's in danger?" There was no response. "No, jackass, if something bigger is chasing her, she just runs and miscarries a little while later. Doesn't lose a wink of sleep. Humans aren't like that, goes back to the brains being too big. We're already in there for nine months, so if the factory wants it out on schedule, it's got to be the priority. Pregnant women can't run for shit, not even if they wanted to. Part of that's being bipeds, but it's not like we were built to crawl. They have to stay in a cave for like eighty percent of their lives, what kind of animal can live like that?"

"The kind of animal that doesn't have to live alone."

"Exactly, you had your little tribe, and it was you and the tribe against the whole rest of the world and every animal in it. Who was with the girl against the tribe?"

"Father of her kids, I'd assume."

"Which one? Most animals don't keep track. Some interesting theories about how all that got started. A man would be willing to stick with his wife and raise the kids if he knew they were his, so they make a no-cheating contract. The woman would probably get abused and get her stuff stolen by the other people in the tribe if half of it didn't belong to the toughest fucker around. People don't really rough up their own property and they're at least a little cautious about doing the same to someone else's."

Tomoya answered this with only pursed lips and a withering stare.

"That's part of why we're having this discussion. Anyway, you ever heard of Charles Manson? Dude had half a million groupies sending him love letters in prison."

"Then there's something wrong with half a million girls- way more than that heard about him and most of them never did anything like that."

"Yeah, and they've got every reason not to, shame, self-respect, not wanting to get caught, not wanting to attract the wrong kind of attention, and a whole lot more shame on top of that. I've met your girlfriend's parents. Can you even imagine how they'd react if they found out she made herself wet over a serial killer?"

"That's disgusting-"

"Girls getting wet is disgusting?"

"No, you talking about my girlfriend like that is." _Probably talked to Sanae for thirty seconds and figured it out._ As little as he liked it, Sasaki was his own breed of brilliant. "If you keep up with that I'll actually just stab you and keep your body in the freezer until we can grind you up into sausage." He took some pork out of the back and put two cuts in the pan on the hot plate.

There was a moment of silence as he got everything together and let the metal warm up. Their discussion seemed to have run the gamut of history, or at least the ancient kind, but something about serving an enemy food out of an unspoken expectation of respect reminded him of _xenia_ , the Greek word for the inviolable law of hospitality, under which a man could breathe easy as the guest in the home of another. The butchery was not his home, he supposed, but in simplest terms, he did not have one. He was staying with the Furukawa family under their own hospitality, and he was no longer welcome in his father's house, though that was fair, as little as he liked it. As he returned, he remembered he really did have some concern about the old man's heart.

"See, that's you doing your job. You'd murder me just because I'm putting things in rude terms just to be efficient. I'd feel sorry for her if you were backing down and apologizing." _Shouldn't take more than a few minutes to get it up to a rare. He probably wouldn't have it any other way._

"I'm glad to know you can feel something," Tomoya said. "I wasn't under that impression."

"Oh, I feel a lot, but it's mostly anger and lust. I can't really satiate those, nor can I live so that I never feel them. Sadness was easy; you just have to not care about most things. Anyway, you don't have to kill me, and I'd actually rather you didn't, but if I live longer than you, your girlfriend's going to get it."

"Do the rest of your girlfriends know you like to talk like that?" he asked at a whisper.

"They know most of what I've done. I don't bother lying to them; it wouldn't be worth the effort." _Hmm._ He chuckled a bit. "What?"

"I'll bet you're about to tell me I wouldn't know them because they go to other schools." Not wanting to make eye contact, he went to get a couple aluminum plates. _This guy could probably eat with just a knife if he felt like it. Well, I could maybe give him a spit so he could hold it still while he cuts it._

"I don't know why that joke even works. I went to the public school on the other side of the hospital from here. I'm sure you could find people who know me if you asked around, but I don't have to prove anything to you."

"Bet they're all sows," he muttered as the gang leader started to dig into the pork. "You're not even that cool, and high school girls are really going to hang out with you instead of someone who might... not kill them?" He shook his head in amusement. "You're not getting your pick, are you?"

"I don't have to prove anything to you. My reputation speaks for itself."

"Yeah, the thing about that is it doesn't actually work. I guarantee most people in this town don't know who you are, probably most people in my old school don't either. The only way you wouldn't have to prove anything is if I already knew, and I guarantee you I don't. Tell me if you didn't think my surprise was genuine earlier." Sasaki rolled his eyes. "I mean, why would I ask for proof? Like fundamentally, if someone asks you for proof, then you do have to prove it."

"I don't have to get you to believe it for it to be true." Neither of them had looked up from eating for more than a moment.

"No, you don't, it's just that a good part of your whole argument there kind of rested on the idea that attractive girls who could have chosen anyone else-"

He took a couple nude pictures out of the wallet in his back pocket. Helpfully, they were all labeled. _Kuwatani Kimura. Suzuki Kanako. Saiki Mitsui._

"I think I recognize one of them," he said, squinting. "She might go to my old school, but I wouldn't know for sure." He pointed at the last one. "I know I've heard her name somewhere."

"I don't keep track of where they go to school. You can keep it if you want, so if you ever run into her again, you can show it to her. I don't think I'll see her again. We lost that territory, remember?" He laughed to himself a little. "It's not like what's left of the Miyazawa gang could enforce the agreement, but I always keep my word."

"Sure, because that's all you have. That's all you can give people when you can't write contracts or make public statements."

"You know how this works, then. That's what I figured. Thing is, I'm pretty confident you'll accept, which is why I've told you as much as I have."

"How do you know?"

"You don't have any other choice, and you're not stupid. You're not just going to dig your heels in and see what happens. That's not even brave." He looked around for a moment. "It's playing by a set of rules that only ever allows people like me to win, and you're not going to do that." He finished the meat with a grunt of appreciation and started to leave.

"I don't know, I might surprise you."

"Yeah, you might. I don't figure I'm the first leader of the first gang to ever figure out where the world's headed and how it's going to get there." He turned around. "I probably won't be the last either. The age of beasts is coming, Okazaki. It'll be more interesting if you live to see it."


	66. Conviction

Tomoya let himself off early, figuring the shop was probably safe for the rest of the night. He did not want to wake his girlfriend, but he knew he had to do something, so he wrote her a note. Looking it over one more time before putting it next to her, he decided he would have to apologize later. He really had done his best not to worry her.

_Nagisa. If I die or disappear in the next few days, I'm sorry, but you'll have to run. I don't know where you can go, maybe you have some relatives elsewhere, maybe you can hide with your friends for a little while. Sasaki knows where you live, and if he kills me, he's coming after you next. I'm doing my absolute damnedest to get out of this somehow, but I'll need your help. There's a girl named Saiki Mitsui and you might have met her, but I'm not certain she's still at Hikarizaka. If not, someone there should have a lead on her. Fuko told me that she met her once, so maybe you could come up with some excuse to invite her over to dinner. I'm sorry I'm putting all this on you, but I can't do anything during the day._

In truth, he had thought about quitting the job, though he would probably still be attacked for not joining the stupid gang, but he knew he would not have one after the butchery got destroyed, even if Honda decided to be a saint and not hold it against him. He eventually managed a fitful sleep, waking up and taking a shower before anything else could take place. Despite the best efforts of his many stressors, he managed to go to sleep earlier than usual, so it was about an hour before he usually woke up. _I still don't feel like I'm on top of my game, but it'll have to do. Sasaki thinks I've basically made up my mind, and even if I haven't, he's not going to waste another day just to wait for me to decide. He's definitely not going to try convincing me again; he'll look desperate._

When he got out of the shower and got dressed again, he was surprised to find Mitsui had joined them for dinner. He did not keep his surprise from reaching his face.

"Oh, Tomoya, I forgot to tell you I invited my new friend over- and I forgot to tell her you were here too."

"It's all right," he said. _She must've figured I wouldn't want her parents to know what I was trying to do, if she's figured it out._ "How's school?"

They made conversation while he ate and figured out his next move. It was pretty impressive Nagisa had managed to get the girl to come over with only one day, but that alone would not be nearly enough. He noticed Akio was basically interrogating the guest, so he figured it was a good time to make his move.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked. "Your parents have an order at the shop, so I can send it home with you if you like."

"Sure," she said, not taking a moment to think about it. Sanae looked away as soon as she took him up on his offer, probably predicting her husband's reaction. She took the opportunity to pick up the plates.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, running around with other girls like that?!" he asked.

"It's not like that, daddy..." his daughter started back. "Most of his friends are girls, and she has a reason for going to the butchery with him."

"Oh, don't you jump in- women always stick up for their abusers." His wife looked through the doorway of the other room and nodded.

"I would stick up for you if you were abusing me," she agreed. Tomoya pursed his lips, but did not otherwise change his expression. Some part of him was trying to tell the rest of him that this was just a schtick that the two of them had going to make Nagisa laugh, like the thing with her mother's bread being bad and how she ran out of the bakery every single time someone said so, but the rest of him was too busy being reminded of Sasaki. _I'm sorry, Nagisa. I'm really going to abuse a girl, but I promise it won't be you._

The three of them were out of the house as the sun started to set. He would have preferred to send his girlfriend back, but she shook her head when he told her he did not want her going home in the dark. He really would have preferred that she gave any other reason for not wanting to go back.

"I knew you were a good guy before this, but I think I fell in love with you when you walked me back home, even when you were supposed to be dating Kyou." It seemed like she meant it as a compliment, but it still kind of stung. "Now that I'm well, I want to show Mitsui the way to her home from the butchery." They were a block or two away from the bakery.

"Well, I might as well get out with it now. I don't have an order for your parents. There's evidence that you're connected to a racket, and I need to know how much you know about it before I go to the police. I wouldn't want to waste their time with a suspect who doesn't know anything."

"A what? I... I definitely don't know anything about a racket-" she started to stammer.

"You want to tell me who this is?" He got her picture out of his pocket, doing his best not to show it to Nagisa. She went red immediately. "I got it off a guy who said he told you everything he knew about his criminal organization. Don't deny it with the cops, they'll get you on obstruction charges."

"He didn't tell me- I mean, he didn't tell me _everything-_ "

"What did he tell you?"

"He just sort of told me stories. Things like how they disabled they alarm in a jewelry store, but that was only because I asked- not that I plan on robbing a store-" _It's something he wouldn't know how to do unless he committed the crime._

"Well, you'll be in a lot less trouble, potentially no trouble, if you go to the police yourself and say you had a crisis of conscious and just tell them everything that he told you. If you don't, there's no chance you won't face any prison time and I'll definitely show this picture to your parents and tell them how I got it."

"I'm going- I'll go tonight, just please, don't show it to anyone..." She ran off.

"Huh. I thought I'd have to do more of the 'bad cop' routine before I got her to agree." He put the picture away again. "That was one of Sasaki's old girlfriends, or at least he slept with her a few times. He told me that he told her everything."

"He didn't think you could use that against him?"

"No, it probably crossed his mind, but he thinks he had me on the hook. He also seems to think he and I are in some kind of gentleman's game where we wouldn't pull any underhanded tricks like this, but I don't really care about that because he has an army. I didn't like having to threaten Mitsui, especially not right after you made friends with her, but if I gave her a whole lot of time to think, she'd probably realize there was no proof I got the picture from Sasaki, unless it's got one of his fingerprints on it somewhere." He sighed. "For what it's worth, I was telling the truth. If I'd gone to the police myself they might have done the same thing, and then she could definitely face prison time."

"Do you... do you think it'll work?"

"It's my best chance. I can't think of anything else that might work. Even if it does, the rest of the gang will still probably attack me."

He expected a verbal response. It might have been chastisement or a warning. She might even have broken up with him. What she did, however, was throw her arms around him, hugging him so tightly she shut her eyes and buried her face in his chest. He could feel her shaking as he gently put his arms around her.

"I just... I just want you to be all right... we'll have to talk about this later." It looked like she was struggling not to cry as she looked up at him. She ran off without saying anything more. He could hope that she would wipe her tears off and take a five minute break before going into the bakery, but he knew better than to count on that. There were times he had substantially larger oversights than that, like taking Nagisa home instead of Kyou. At the time, he would have liked to say he did it deliberately, but the truth was he forgot he was supposed to be dating the other girl and he did not even realize why she was upset with him until later. _Well, that's not giving her enough credit. She realized that it was the right thing for me to do, but it was going to hurt her feelings anyway._

At the shop he took care of some tasks. The attack would come tonight, either from the gang or Sasaki himself. He was better off resting instead of exercising, though he liked to think that spending hours every night over the past few nights had at least gotten him into somewhat better shape. Being on such an odd schedule, it was starting to get hard to keep track of the days and nights. _Are humans just not supposed to stay up at night?_ He looked around. It seemed like a shorter task list than normal. _Maybe I'm the one who can't deal with the schedule._

He had some idea that the gang members mostly just slept whenever they were tired and woke up whenever they were needed, not really keeping to the usual eight-hour schedule. It was possible they had a strict day shift and a strict night shift, but he doubted he would have ever seen them in such numbers during the fight a while back, because they had to have brought their entire gang. The amount of respect Sasaki seemed to have for them indicated it was more likely that they were allowed to sleep whenever they got the chance, because he would have someone wake them up whenever he wanted them to do something.

There were three of them, this time, and they made no attempt to disguise their approach. He knew he had seen one of them from last time, and he was a bit smaller than the others, but the other two were new. _I might have really hurt that one guy when I hit him in the head. The one I caught is still in police custody, and the big guy probably won't be sent on any missions any time soon; I hit him really hard in the leg. I'd be surprised if he could even walk normally. This must be the guy who helped the guy with the cracked skull get away._

If it seemed unnecessary, Tomoya guessed that it could have been hard for him to find his way back with a head injury. There was the very real chance that he could not so much as take care of himself in that state. A smile cracked as he let them into the shop.

"No tricks this time?"

"How's the guy I hit with a hammer? I hope he didn't bleed to death."

"He's got some hemorrhaging in his brain," one of the guys said. _Oh, so the little guy's the leader._ "Wouldn't worry about it. If he got hit like that, he wasn't using it." There was a short chuckling.

"Huh. You seemed pretty concerned when you dragged him out of there. You know, if you'd come in and fought me, you might have won. Might be I wouldn't have one of your guys in custody. Well, that's actually because of his own good luck. If the police hadn't believed me when I called, he would have been in my freezer." His joke ruined, the smaller guy scowled.

"Make your empty threats if you want. We were only here to give you a good scare; we never had any intention of killing you."

"Weird. Wasn't what that other guy said." He shook his head, casting a sideways glance at one of the followers. "Why were you put in charge of this mission if you're not clever enough not to lie about things I probably already know?"

"You're not talking your way out of this."

"I'm not talking my way out of what? You send a four-man force to scare me, and a three-man force to do what exactly, deliver a sternly worded letter? You know, it doesn't help that one out of three is a total moron. I can only hope one of the others will surprise me."

"We didn't come along as backup because we think he's smarter," someone else said in a Kansai accent. "He was chosen as the leader because he has prior experience."

"Again, prior experience with what? Scaring me? I guess I kind of had the jump on the first four, and that's why it was almost too easy for me. The point is, I wasn't scared. I'd expected Sasaki would send someone smarter, since he definitely didn't send a stronger force."

"We'll show you who's stronger," the leader said, trying to reassert himself. His eyes darted back and forth. "You did have the jump on us, and he knows none of us are stupid enough to make the same mistake twice."

"That's a pretty damn low bar. Is that what intelligence is relative to the first group of buffoons he sent after me, or is it just what intelligence is as far as your leader is concerned."

"Sasaki is a smart guy!" one of the others shouted. He was wearing a probably stolen baseball jersey for some reason. _Well, it might have to do with why he's carrying a bat._ "It was the first group that was stupid enough to fall into _your_ trap, and that was why _I_ suggested we check the place for traps before we came here. Maybe you thought we would only be smart enough to expect the same trap, but I was expecting different traps."

"Well, you're smarter than this dumbass, I'll give you that much," he said, indicating the smaller guy. In reality he expected the reason for the smaller force was because of the leader's prior confidence that Tomoya would take his side; really they were there to roll out the welcome wagon. If anything, Sasaki had nearly played him like a fiddle by expecting he would invite them into the butchery rather than make a fight out of it as soon as he saw them. _He knew I would either accept his bargain or try to trick them a different way._

"You're both idiots if you're falling for this. I wasn't chosen to lead because anyone had more confidence in me. I was chosen to lead because I knew where the place was. You heard him say that, didn't you?" _Now he's insulting them._

"I'm sure they did," he intervened. "They're not complete fools. I just couldn't really believe Sasaki would pick the dumbest guy in the gang to be in charge of the mission. Was he not expecting me to trick you again?" _If I'm honest, I'm almost certain he wasn't. That one time he had a guy outside waiting until dawn to see when I left was his little way of proving that he did not need to win by overwhelming me with numbers. He knew I would complain he had an advantage in this gentleman's game he's imagined that we're playing. That's why he demonstrated that he could just wait for me to be so tired I couldn't stand up, or just go to my girlfriend's house and rape her._

_The last mistake he made was assuming I was going to take any chances of that._

While the others were arguing, he grabbed the meat hammer and threw it at one of the lackeys. He did not get as lucky as before, but the area around his eye started to bleed uncontrollably. Whipping a small knife he had in his sleeve to his hand, he stabbed the little guy in the ball and socket joint of his shoulder where the connective tissue was weakest.

"Don't run, you dumbasses!" he screamed as Tomoya dragged him over the counter. Honda had shown him how to use an electric stethoscope-type thing to stun the chickens before slaughtering them, as required by law. Getting the cable and kicking the smaller guy as he tried to get up, he put both electrodes on either side of his temple and started the current. _I guess the difference with this idiot is that he'll just wish I killed him._


	67. Cleaning Up at Closing Time

There were a few hours to go before he could sleep.

He called the police with the shop phone, telling them about the unconscious guy in the butchery, and they interrupted to say they already had the precedents in order to get the leader, and his other subordinate, at the very least, would be willing to testify against him. _It's like Al Capone. Once he's in prison, everyone turns on him and the rest of his crimes are revealed._ Apparently an old girlfriend had come forward in a crisis of conscious, which they attributed to the recent break-ins. He had figured there were some establishments across town without anyone watching them at night, and the gang would be wise to attack them first, but he had not realized the extent of the damage.

It took about an hour to even get off the phone, and then another for a car to show up and pick up the suspect, though he figured that was because it was a low priority for them. What they really needed to do was make the arrest, and to do that, they needed evidence. The jewelry store robberies from a few years ago had taken place in what passed for broad daylight, and could be said to have hurt several investors in the process; it was not exclusively a problem for little people. With a handful of witnesses to connect Sasaki to those robberies, the powers that be would turn against him. He would be out on a low bail because he committed the crime while he was a minor, but enough of his crimes put together could have him in prison for life.

"How'd you knock him out like this?" the police officer, Todoroki, asked when he picked up the suspect. "I can see that he's breathing, but..."

"It's an electric stunner. Mostly we use it for chickens, but you can adjust the voltage. He should wake up on the way to the station."

"Damn. Did you have anything to do with that girl who showed up at the station a few hours ago? She looked about your age."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I don't know anything about that." _She's actually really close to my age. She would have been graduated already, though, so what was she doing when Nagisa found her? Was she trying to get a job at the school?_ He shook his head. _I'll have to ask her when we're both conscious at the same time._

When he eventually got off, he had given it until Honda showed up, when he told him most of what had happened. He was still going to do a few more night shifts to make sure, but it would be less and less likely for the shop to be targeted if the gang was falling apart from the top. Reaching the bakery, he was about as exhausted as he ever had been, but at least he could sleep a little more easily. He figured some of the members would come after him for revenge, but they would have to establish a new leader first. If he had gotten anything from Sasaki's explanation of how the gang worked, the impetus for joining and slaving away for years was the promise of eventually succeeding him as the leader, with all the rights and properties that came with the job.

Tomoya woke up without realizing he had fallen asleep. When he joined the family for supper, not seeing Nagisa anywhere, they said she was staying with a friend. After asking a few more questions, the friend seemed to be Mitsui, which had a good chance of being okay. He hoped they were making up, because he really wanted them both to have friends, but it still felt off. Getting to the shop again, he found he was growing tired of the routine, and somehow his sleep was not exactly catching up with his work demands. Every night it either felt like he was getting up too early or going to bed too late, though sometimes it was both. A customer came by while he was in the middle of his tasks. It was his father.

"How have you been doing, son?"

"I've been doing well. I didn't expect you to be out this late." _I didn't expect you to make it past nine, really._

"I don't really drink anymore. That was how I went to sleep, so sometimes falling asleep is hard. I like to walk around some."

"That makes sense. Have you been paying off your loan?" It seemed better to keep him from asking about what the police wanted. _I'll bet they called him again._ He cursed under his breath. It was a standard bureaucratic problem. They needed an address for him, and even when they learned what they had was not valid, whoever was keeping track of the information could not just scratch it out and have nothing there.

"Yes, by and by. I wasn't in that much debt. How are you?"

"I'm paying for a house with a couple of old acquaintances who want to stay in town." _Did I say that to him before?_ It occurred to him that he had very few memories from the other timeline about his father, which was one of the main reasons he was sure the old man bought it. _It's also been a while since I've had a vision._ "You haven't been having any health trouble?"

"The doctor said cutting back on the alcohol was a good move. I think he's trying to go easy on me." He laughed a moment. "I'm sure I have other problems, but he wants to congratulate me a little before moving on to those. What's that bit of blood on your uniform?"

It was like they were in a fault-finding game. He was trying to make the concerning subject his father, and his father was trying to do the same to him. _I could probably afford to not do that._

"It's just some animal blood. I wash my uniform every other day, so it'll be gone soon. I don't get many customers during the night."

"What did the police want?"

"Well, they had to pick this guy up from the shop after I knocked him out. He was part of a gang that was attacking local businesses." The old man's expression changed.

"That sounds dangerous."

"Yeah, I'll bet it does. You don't have to worry about that, though." _Why am I getting testy about this?_

"Tomoya, just because I let you handle things doesn't mean I didn't ever worry about you." He was looking down a little. "I just sort of realized too late that you wouldn't accept my help, and you would have to learn things on your own. Maybe it was better that way."

He thought about it. It was not possible to say whether he would have been better or worse off if his father had more of an active role in his formative years. Unlike the nightmare world he saw from time to time, he had no insight into that timeline.

"Maybe it was," he conceded quietly. "I think something I've learned, though, is that you can't always make it work out in the best possible way. Sometimes you just have to do what you think is the right thing, and then if it turns out to be wrong, well, it wasn't your fault because at least you tried. I don't really blame you for how things turned out. There was only so much you could do." He sighed. "Even things I'm pretty sure were your fault- I'm not going to waste my life holding it against you." His father nodded along without saying anything.

"I don't think I'll get anything today. I'm glad I came, though," he said quietly. He left shortly after that.

He went back to the bakery after a blessedly uneventful night in which he eventually decided to get some exercise done. Passing Akio starting on the bread, he elected not to say anything before rolling out the futon. When he closed the cabinet door, though, he saw Nagisa.

"Shit. Sorry, I just didn't see you there. Are you all right?"

"I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. I'm still not sure how I feel, but that can wait." She disappeared up the stairs. He knew he had to get to sleep, so it was a waste of time to follow her.

The succeeding morning, or evening, he guessed, he woke up with some discomfort in his neck that might have been because of his sleeping posture, but he could not say for sure. He went ahead and got ready before sitting down at dinner with Nagisa, who was answering her parents' questions about school. He was not supposed to have work on the weekend, but there was still a chance the gang could attack, so he was still going. _I really want a chance to speak to her alone. I really just want to go on another damn date with her._

Eventually leaving as she ignored his suggestion that she follow him, he wondered why she did not want to talk to him as he ambled to the butchery. He knew he had never felt that way about any other girl, but he guessed things might have been different if he had allowed other relationships to get farther. It was possible she would tell him she just wanted some time to sort things out, but if she could just tell him what was wrong, he could help her with that.

He noticed Sudou was in front of him. There seemed to be no one else around.

"It's been a while. Is this about Sasaki?" he asked. There was a nod. "Well, I'm on my way to work, so walk with me."

"How did you do it?"

"I barely did anything. He committed a crime and went to prison for it. I don't recommend following in his footsteps."

"He's committed tons of crimes before and he's always gotten away with it. We've had guys who were going down and willing to bring him down with them, but nothing ever worked." They were moving at a slow pace, but they would still get to the shop. It was not as if Honda would freak out if he did not show up right as it hit quitting time. "You had to have done something."

"I'd really rather not say. My girlfriend's upset with me and it'll probably only get worse if I told people about that."

"Well, don't let her run your life. I'm not saying you have to tell me. It's just generally not a good idea."

"I'll keep that in mind." They arrived at the shop, finding the butcher was already out. _Huh. I guess the old man really does trust me._ "Have you been trying to bring back the gang?"

"I think I'm not going to call it the Miyazawa gang. We've been living in the past for too long. We all looked up to Kazuto, and maybe without realizing it a lot of us looked up to Yukine, but one way or another they weren't going to be around forever. It's going to be a smaller operation, I guess, but with the other guys spinning their wheels for a few weeks, we at least don't have to worry about all the competition."

"I think I framed one of your guys for stabbing some of Sasaki's minions," he mentioned, looking over the task list.

"Yeah, I figured he didn't really do that. For one thing, he was kind of a double agent. I thought keeping him around would at least help me figure out what the other guys were doing, but he just disappeared one day. He was one of the guys who only joined us because it looked like we were stronger, then he moved when it looked like the other guys were stronger. Doesn't really surprise me; he's probably got a string of backup gangs from here to Okinawa."

"May he run forever."

Sudou left the butchery without further regard. He had no intention to treat everyone who paid a late night visit to a snack, not that he was really welcome to one himself. If he knew Honda at all, the meat was coming out of his pay, even the first few times when he barely got it cooked enough to be edible. He knew it was safe to eat, because of all the restrictions on the suppliers, but it was hardly an appetizing experience getting to the middle to find it was basically untouched, when the outside had nearly set off the smoke detector. What he did for most things was just cut it up into small pieces so that they cooked almost instantly.

By the time he found himself going home, it definitely seemed like time was speeding up. He was doing his very best to keep track of everything that was going on, and he could try to blame it on his weird schedule, but every day just seemed to be flying by. Having spent most of the night exercising after getting his tasks out of the way, it was all he could do not to just stare back and forth between the clock and the hot plate, as though he would forget the latter again. The hot plate was encumbering if not terribly heavy; the main obstacle was remembering it and keeping the pan from falling off.

It was almost insulting, the way his current problems stared him in the face. He had gotten so used to being concerned about the nearly existential threat Sasaki presented that everything else seemed like the kind of thing that could wait, even with all of that over. It was as if his muscles and brain were overqualified for doing the basic tasks and chores he had to do every day. Right as he was thinking that, he saw that the window to the bakery had been smashed.

"Nagisa!" he shouted, dropping everything he had in his hands before turning back to grab the pan. _Without a knife it's the best I can do._ The headlights of a car were his only warning as he jumped over the corner of the vehicle, not slowing down as he crossed the street. _Who the hell is it? Did his minions have orders to attack anyway?_ He felt about as stupid as he had ever felt, getting to the door. There was a body on the floor, but it was dark and he could not see who it was. _I was the one thinking we were playing a game this whole time. Once I fought them off at the butchery, I should have come back here._

He waited to hear something, anything that would give away the positions of whoever had attacked the bakery and the place he had called home. It would not do to give away his own position. _I should have known that they would strike here, if for no other reason than just for spite. There's no way Sasaki would just give up on trying to get back at me, or his minions if he didn't tell them to do it._

It was early morning and he was tired. Tomoya really hoped that the other guy was alone, but they had to know that the girl had parents who would be home. _I thought they'd attack during the day. The old man would be asleep- but Nagisa would be at school. They'd have to settle for beating her mother to a pulp, and they don't know how much I care about her._

"Okazaki?" It was Akio. There was anger in his voice.

"There anyone left?" _Sounds like he's by the oven._

"No, it was just two guys. One of 'em ran off when I knocked the other one out. You know anything about them?"

"Yeah. They attacked this place because of me. It's an act of revenge."

"Help me get this punk out of here." They picked up the unconscious gang member and set him down in the street. "I've already called the cops; they said they'll get him when they get him."

"They said the same thing to me. They're busy right now and it's a low priority. Was anything else broken or just the window?"

"I don't think they broke anything else. I don't like the look of that pan in your hand, though." Tomoya hung his head.

"You're not going to want the rest of it. I'll fix it up." Akio shook his head, his eyes closed.

"I'm not worried about that. We'd been looking at getting a new one anyway. What I want is for you to be as far away from Nagisa and Sanae as possible." He could only respond with a slow opening of his mouth as he met the old man's eyes. "I don't have anything against you. I was a lot like you when I was twenty, and you can't be older than eighteen. Fair just doesn't enter into it." He went back to hanging his head.

"I know."

"You don't know, you don't have a-"

"You think I don't have anything to protect from these animals?" he asked, containing himself. "Never mind. I'll be out of your hair tomorrow evening. Ao should have the house deal finalized by then. If they don't, I'll just break into my father's place and leave a note for when he finds it." He walked outside.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm getting the damn hot plate."


	68. Old Friends

Tomoya was not enjoying being kicked out of his second home, or really his third if he counted the neighborhood where they lived when his mother was still alive. At the same time, it seemed the old man had not had the chance to say anything about it, so he said he was moving out over supper before leaving for work. He confessed to breaking the hot plate because he dropped it to run to the bakery, but no one was particularly upset. He left for work as always, using the shop phone to call the number Ao had used to place an order. _I probably shouldn't have mentioned that I was doing deliveries at work._

"Harada?" he asked, hearing her voice. "Is your husband still at work?"

"Yes, but he'll be home soon. Are you moving in today?"

"Yeah, it's just been pretty crazy lately. I don't really have any furniture." _I don't really have anything. I barely have any clothes._ "I've got a hot plate, though. It needs fixing."

"Oh, that's good, I've been making everything in the oven. The key is under the mat."

"Thanks," he said, hanging up as she said 'good night'. He took care of his tasks, though it appeared there were more of them than usual. _Honda might have been saving them for me._ He heard the door open. _If I'm lucky that's a customer._

It was Sasaki.

"I'm not lucky, am I?" he asked no one.

"I don't know what else to call it. You want to tell me why I've been arrested?"

"You've been arrested? What are you doing here?"

"I'm out on bail. No, I'm not going back. I've got a way out."

"You could've just called me from the jail," he said, hoping the man across from him really did just want to talk. _I'd have the home field advantage, but that's about it._

"You'd just hang up."

"Yeah, I probably would. I've got things I'd rather be doing than talking to you." _Probably just wants to ask why I didn't join or something. That should be obvious at this point._

"How did you do it?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Don't give me that shit, how did you get Mitsui right after I showed you-" _He knows. There's no point in hiding it._

"I blackmailed her with her picture. I can't tell you how my girlfriend found her, but I had to do the whole bad cop routine in front of her, so I think I'm in the doghouse. I told her she'd be in a lot less trouble if she acted like she just confessed on the spur of the moment, for no particular reason. That much is true. If they found out her back against the wall, they'd want to know what else they could get on her."

"Aiding a fugitive," Sasaki muttered. "There was one time I knocked on her door after an informant spotted me. It took hours for him to give it up and leave." Tomoya nodded. From time to time the police would try to get old gang members to rat out their leaders, but the leaders had people in prison, so the informants would sometimes just point the wrong people out. The cops got to make an arrest, the snitch got a reduced sentence, and the actual targets got away entirely. It worked out for everyone, excluding the innocent.

"That's not why you're here, though. You want to fight?"

"Not really. I just wanted to know for sure it was just a bit of dumb luck. You found the girl I didn't think you were looking for in under a day."

"I wouldn't say that."

"What?"

"It was a matter of organization. You lost because you don't know how it works."

"I run an organization."

"Yeah, you run a criminal organization. Your guys probably would have beat the shit out of me last night or before that if you ran the gang like an army or a police department. Historians have no end of sympathy for guys like you who lead from the front and keeps order by maintaining respect rather than making rules and enforcing them, but that really wasn't how it worked. I got the other guys to turn on their leader because they wouldn't turn on you, and there were some easy wedges I could put between you and their leader. He's in a holding cell now, so you probably ran into him."

"Those guys are expendable. They're expendable because of how stupid they are."

"Yeah, they're pretty stupid. That's what happens when you only bring dumbasses on. I mean, you said you were basically tricking them into following you, right? How smart could they be?" He shook his head. "That doesn't actually matter. If you wanted your operation to get any bigger, you'd have to deal with people who don't see you every day. Respect doesn't work at that kind of scale."

"The yakuza have respect."

"That's a myth. Everyone in those organizations is paid from the top down. I'm sure they respect each other, some, but grown men don't do this sort of thing for fun. You don't pay them, though, so you can't give them orders, but you probably couldn't do that anyway, because then they've gone from living in one society to another. You can't win with your zero-rule strategy when you're going up against people with rules."

"You had a bigger gang on your side," Sasaki conceded. "You don't mind paying their protection money, do you? Would it have helped if we called it taxes?"

"Probably not. I don't think anyone wants to fill out two forms every year. I mean, I'll give you that there's not a lot of difference between a government and a racket, but I've never seen any of you fucks filling pot holes. I don't think I ever thought to go to you for help when my father physically abused me. He was probably drunk at the time, but he'd have been paying you a hell of a lot more than I would have."

"That's an edge case and you know it. Child abuse is going to happen one way or the other. Let's say you call the cops on your dad. How do you think they're going to decide if he did it?" Tomoya shook his head. "Doesn't matter. If you said it, he'd be in jail. Does that seem fair to you?"

"Not really. Don't have much of a better idea. That's where your whole rule by strength thing falls apart, though, is with children. You can say you don't care about old people because you won't live that long, but what's to stop someone from just chucking you out a window when you're seven? Your parents? You know damn well they could do that to you." He looked at the clock. "I really don't care where you go. Don't come back here until you have an answer for that."

"I hadn't planned on it. See you later, Okazaki."

Without any further gestures he was gone. _I don't feel like watching him go. If I never see him again, it'll be too soon._

He finished up his tasks and let himself off a few minutes early after exercising. Reminding himself the routine could very well go on for a while, he looked for the property that had been described to him, finding it a few blocks away. It was a little farther than the bakery, he guessed, but not too much of an obstacle. _I'll probably have to shop or something since I don't know how to cook._ He knew how to clean, since he kept his room in order, but unless his friends wanted nothing other than cooked meat over a hot plate, he guessed they were going to be taking care of the food. Based on when he woke up, it would have to work out that way.

The house was small in terms of area, but there were two bedrooms, with one of them probably being meant for a child or two. One child families were something of a recent phenomenon, but there were a lot of factors. One was space, as made evident by the house, but in his case it was because his mother died. He guessed Nagisa could have had siblings if her early childhood had worked out better, but after a certain point parents generally stopped anyway. Somehow it was this unspoken consensus that you couldn't have two that were like five years apart, though there was a natural boundary somewhere with menopause and general lack of energy.

Tomoya managed to get inside and get to the smaller bedroom where he could sleep. There was a one-person bed in there, which he guessed was fine. _It's not like I have anyone to invite over._ It was different sleeping in a bed again, but he did not notice he fell asleep until an alarm woke him up. _Huh. That's helpful. I probably would've slept through it if I didn't have the rhythm for it._

"Hey, Harada, thanks for setting me an alarm," he called out, getting dressed.

"That was Ao. Are you ready for break- for supper?" she called back. "We usually don't eat this early-"

"You don't have to eat when I eat."

"No, this is helpful. Buying food and using it all before it goes bad works out better when you have people eating together like a family." _Huh. I guess that's one reason the Furukawas didn't mind having me around._

"What got you kicked out of the other place?" Ao asked. He adopted a look of confusion. "I called the bakery and the wife picked up. She said that you just announced you were moving out and there was apparently some tension between you and her husband, though you weren't saying anything."

"Yeah, I should've figured she'd see through that." He sighed. "You hear about the break-ins?" the man next to him nodded while chewing. It was good for a stew, he guessed, though the meat was a little tough. "I can show you how to tenderize this sort of-"

"Yeah, I heard."

"Right, well, I kind of attracted their attention, and the bakery got attacked as a result. Nobody got hurt- well, nobody important- but I think I broke this sort of unspoken agreement that I wouldn't let any of that get anywhere near the baker's daughter, so that was that." Ao shook his head.

"Family drama," he said, musing. "It almost makes me glad I was an orphan."

"Really? You never had any parents?"

"Never figured out who they were. I went into the system at two or something. Not sure when my birthday is. Wouldn't be surprised if my parents- or at least my mom- had drug problems. I'm seeing some of the signs of that now that I've stopped growing. Well, that and being exposed to more medical jargon."

"Pharma company?"

"Yeah. The pay's pretty good. I kind of wanted to do medicine for real, but it didn't work out that way."

"Well, I'm doing better than I thought I would be, somehow." It was Harada's turn to speak, as she finished with her food.

"Have you and Nagisa broken up?" she asked.

"No. I don't know what it means, but we haven't said anything like that. I think there's still a chance. I just never get to see her now that I don't live at her house."

"That was probably what her dad wanted," Ao guessed. "I mean, you've said he liked you, but that doesn't mean he wants you to keep hanging out with his daughter. If that wasn't the point, then it was just an added bonus."

"I don't know. I'd rather assume that he didn't think of it that way."

He went to work alone. Having promised to get some shopping done on the way back, he expected neither customers nor an attack. When Sasaki left, if not before, someone would take his place, but the gang would be at a reduced status. On even footing with whatever the Miyazawa gang called itself now, they would have to compete for territory again.

Consequently, he decided to exercise and get his tasks done. He was actually not feeling like he was at the top of his game, but that happened every so often. It could be some virus going around, though they were getting into summer, so that seemed unlikely. _I guess there's a chance I've given myself food poisoning. I'll have to see if Ao and Harada have the same problem._

The customer who had chanced to appear was a younger woman out for a late jog, though that was just what he was guessing from the sweat she seemed to have worked up. He sold her a ton of chicken breasts. _Must be some diet and she's setting herself up for a while._ From his general perception of how many sales the shop made every month, he generally thought the town of Hikarizaka was not obsessed with meat, but every so often they had a weird order. Businesses were high-quantity, but at least they were predictable. _Fortunately they mostly come during the day._

The only time he had ever spoken to a business representative was at an evening right when he took over the shop, and the man expected him to know what kind of quantity the butchery could turn out over the course of a month, and he really had no way of answering the question. Apparently it was a do-it-yourself barbecue at the edge of town and he eventually told the representative to come back during the day when the manager would be there, since it was really only the manager who could sign the paperwork anyway. Honda told him in a note that it was probably the best way of handling the situation, and he managed to get out of it without embarrassing himself too much. He then wrote some figures for what the shop produced in a month, for future reference.

His notes to his boss had become progressively less detailed over time. He doubted that at any point he had said he had done the tasks, because he knew that was assumed, though there had been a couple times when he made reference to doing them or having done them. He looked up from his tasks to see that there was another customer.

"Mitsurugi? I thought you were at school somewhere." The rugby player seemed to be evaluating his pushup form.

"You need to keep your back a bit straighter. Not straight like parallel to the ground, like from your heels to your shoulders I need to see a straight line." Tomoya got up.

"You here to buy something?" he asked. It was an honest question.

"I'll get some back bacon while I'm here. I mostly came by to see you since my uncle told me you were working the night shift." _Do I detect disbelief?_

"You're free at night or something?" he asked, if inanely. In truth he was more interested in the idea of he and his uncle still talking. He understood things had soured between them.

"Yeah, basically. We were talking about it at some family thing to congratulate me for doing well so far in college. Can't tell you how many people thought I wasn't going to make it." He shrugged. "It doesn't really matter now. How's work?"

"It's pretty good. I'm really proud of everything I've managed to do so far." _There's no need to tell him everything._ "Things could be a bit better in my personal life, but-"

"I might be able to help you there."

"Oh, you've already helped me a lot-" he started, deflecting Mitsurugi's odd kindness. Tomoya had sort of expected this kind of behavior from the people he had helped, at least in some real way, but it seemed improper when it was the guy who found him a job.

"No, really, what's going on?"

"Well, I'm in the doghouse with this girl."

"Sakagami?"

"No."

"Oh, lucky. Go on."

"She's told me she needs time to sort things out. I made her upset a little while ago."

"How long has it been?"

"A couple days, maybe? It's actually getting hard to keep track of time. I sometimes don't get it when people say 'yesterday' because what I used to use as a border between today and yesterday was waking up in the morning."

"Okay, I don't think it matters what you did all that much. It's been long enough to where you can say you gave her some time to think about it. Just go over to see her and let her know you care about her." He looked around. "You didn't hit her, did you?"

"No- no, everything I was doing I did it to protect her."

"Okay. I'd have been a little pissed if it were something like that. If it's some misunderstanding, don't worry about it too much. That sort of thing happens."

"You'd know." He felt like he had to say something.

"I had girls talking to me before Sunohara, you know."

"Well, you were his first boyfriend, so make sure to be sensitive to the fact that he's not going to see the relationship the same way-"

"Fuck you, Okazaki," the rugby player said, shaking his head with the faintest of smiles before leaving.


	69. Summer

Tomoya almost did not notice the days passing, but the last day of spring passed like every other day. He had lived peaceably with Ao and Harada and the shop had not been attacked. It was almost surprising, finding it was indisputably summer. He had come by the bakery on a weekend once, but Sanae said Nagisa was not around at the time. She volunteered, however, to pass on the message that he wanted to speak to her.

"Hi, boss," he said as he checked into work in the evening.

"This is your last night shift."

"What?"

"Haven't been any problems, have there?"

"No."

"Haven't seen anyone watching the store?"

"I'd have said something." Honda clapped him on the shoulder.

"Then you're back to working days. I've got some errands I've been meaning to run." _That's right. He used to like taking breaks._ Tomoya supposed they had been about as careful as they could reasonably be and then some, and he always had it in the back of his mind that he would go back at some point, but he had gotten used to the night shift.

Going through his tasks after saying good night to the butcher, he was trying to get done quickly so he could wake up at a reasonable hour, but he had no expectation of that. Even if he tried to go to to bed at a normal time, he doubted he would fall asleep and if he did, he would be waking up late. He hoped his boss would be reasonable about it, but ever since he had been employed, he had tried as hard as he could to never impose upon the older man. It seemed like the opposite of the way things should work if he asked a favor or if he expected something, so he always performed to the very best of his ability. At some point, he had been thinking of supporting Nagisa every day, and he still wanted to be able to do that, though that was only if she gave him the choice.

He finished as quickly as he could and it was still before midnight, but he knew his girlfriend, if he could call her that, would already be in bed. Deciding to get a better start for the next day, he went back and found Ao was still awake.

"Signing off early?"

"I'm back on days tomorrow morning. Thanks for the alarm, by the way; I'll have to reset it. Are you up late every night?"

"No, Eri likes to keep to a schedule. Even before she started going to classes every day, she woke up early and went to bed early. She liked it when I did the same."

"Oh. What is it tonight, then?"

"It's just life insurance. I've been advised to get some because of the company where I work. Apparently other people have gotten sick and died." _Pharmaceuticals can do that to you._ "They probably weren't following safety procedures."

"Don't get it. You're definitely going to be paying more than you could get."

"How so?" _I could almost ask myself the same question._ It was the first thing that felt like a memory in a long time.

"Well, there's liability insurance and then there's protective insurance. You have to get liability insurance because it's a situation where other people are depending on you to have the money right away." Ao nodded. Neither of them owned a car, but they knew the law. _Did I ever get a car in the other timeline?_ "Anything that's not required, though, don't get that. They find out if they want to cover you by multiplying the probability they'll need to pay you with the total in damages. What they charge you is higher than that. I guess some people think they're tricking the insurance company by giving them bad information, but that's fraud. If they have all the same information you have, they know how likely you are to make use of your coverage."

"How'd you learn about that?"

"It's just math; they wouldn't be able to make money if they didn't run the business like this. They have to charge more than they're paying out, and it's not like that's just some people. If you weren't one of them they'd either increase your rates or just drop you."

"Well, I guess there's no way you could be wrong about that. I'll see you in the morning."

"See you later, Ao."

Going to his room and closing the door, he thought about how he was going to have to start calling Harada by her new name, Yasui. It would be simpler to keep calling her husband by his nickname, the better to tell them apart, though it had only been a little while since their wedding. As expected, it had been a small ceremony, mostly just family members, but there were a few people from school. He remembered looking around for Nagisa and not seeing her. He did see Nishina and Sugisaka, though, and they asked about her as well.

The following morning, he was a bit late to work, but no mention of it was made as he put on his uniform and got started. There were no deliveries, since Honda had told people that he was on the night shift, but he expected they would start coming back at some point. He found himself cleaning more than had been necessary at night with no customers, and possibly more than he had been asked in the almost forgotten time before all that had started. The customers coming in comparatively often was also getting to him. It was all he could do not to act surprised every time someone came in, and he often did not expect them. _I'm probably tired and off my game._ At times he suspected his night customers had tried harder to make their presence known before entering, and he found himself appreciating that, if retroactively.

The day felt like it took longer than normal, but he was grateful to be back to it, if a little more tired than he had been before. It was like his first day at work all over again. He walked to the bakery to see if he could find his girlfriend, though her mother said she was in the park. Going outside, she seemed to be on the same bench as always.

"I tried to come see you."

"I know. Can you talk now?" He sat down next to her.

"I'm on days again, so I've got a few hours before I'm going to try to sleep. Are you upset with me?"

"I was. I didn't like how I made a friend, like you suggested, and then you asked me to lead her home so you could extort information out of her." She sighed. "I knew why you were doing it, but I couldn't just stand by and let you deal with it on your own. I asked Yukine if she knew Mitsui and she told me that I could find her at a jewelry store in town."

"Huh. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised." _It could be something like survivor's guilt. I guess she could just know enough about the store to be able to get a job there._

"I told her that I never got to meet her in school, so whenever she got off, I asked if she could come to the bakery for dinner after we talked some." Tomoya nodded. He could ask how Miyazawa had run into the girl, though she probably had an eye on her at one point, either to kidnap her or to use her as a liaison. She said she had known I was friendly and nice to people, but it was still unexpected since we had only ever spoken once, and she could barely remember the conversation."

"Was that about Fuko?"

"Yes. That was what made me want to come out here to meet with you. I didn't know for sure if you would be off, but I knew it was about this time you came over last." They both looked to the sunset at the same time. "I had a really different idea of you." He hung his head a bit.

"I was doing my best then, and I'm doing my best now. I know I got to be nice then, and I got to act like I was some kind of saint, but if that was all you ever saw, you got the wrong impression. Have you been thinking I'm perfect this entire time?"

"Well, no. I just didn't expect you would threaten her like that. She might have been involved with that guy... but she was innocent. I know she might have been in trouble if the police knew that she failed to report on him, but... that doesn't make her responsible for what he did."

"She's not. She's just responsible for what she did and didn't do. Is this about the thing you said about me earlier, how I'd do the right thing instead of taking care of my girlfriend, and that was why you liked me?"

"It's also about that..."

"Well, what did I do that was wrong? We can go see Mitsui and I can apologize to her and tell her it wasn't your idea."

"It was my idea-" Nagisa responded, balling her firsts against her skirt. "You didn't say I had to invite her over for dinner, you just wanted an idea of where she was. I helped you. I figured that whatever you wanted with her would involve the gangs, and so I followed you outside to see it through, because I had to at least look at the consequences of my actions." She snorted cutely, but it was still almost uncharacteristic of her. He had never seen her this upset before. "If I can't do that, then I shouldn't have gotten started."

"Maybe it's not as bad as we think. If we go and see her at the store as she gets off work tomorrow, maybe she'll say she doesn't hate me for it. I'm sure she won't hate you for it."

"That doesn't make it not wrong," she said, looking down. "Why couldn't you just be nice and ask her to go to the police with the information? Why did you have to threaten her? I went and found her for you and I was willing to have her connected the to the gangs for you-"

"She already was connected to-"

"I know that. That's why I was willing to accept it if we brought her past back. I thought you were a nice guy who liked to help people."

"It's a bit more complicated than that. If you don't want to come tomorrow, you don't have to, but I'm going to go see Mitsui." _At least now I know why I felt like I had seen her before. I knew her from the other timeline._ "I've missed you a lot, Nagisa. If I'm not nice enough for you, there's not a lot I can do about that. I know I'm only eighteen but sometimes it feels like I've lived a lot longer and I've had to deal with everything more than once. If you were hoping I'd put the feelings of another girl above yours, that's just not how it works, and I have to admit I'm frustrated." He sighed. "I think I did the right thing. A while back, I had this discussion with Ryou, but it was about Miyazawa, I think. I did the right thing instead of what she wanted, and I think I helped her. I'm... not sure about it, but it might have been the same with Mitsui."

He went home, seeing the smiling girl waving at him as always. There were times he felt a bit like a third wheel, but he supposed it was a little better dealing with a married couple than two high school students in love. _It's not like we're that much older than that, though._

"Hi, Yasui," he said, remembering to use that name instead of Harada. It was going to be hard not calling her that in his head.

"Hi, Okazaki. Did you get to talk to your girlfriend?" _I don't know if I would call her that._

"I got to talk to Nagisa. I'm hoping I'll see her tomorrow, but that's up to her."

"Oh. Does she have a lot of homework?"

"I wouldn't think it's that... but I haven't asked, so I wouldn't know." He sighed a little. "What's for supper?"

"We're having rice and vegetables again if you don't mind." He nodded, smiling slightly. The house had made a dent on their finances, even though it was affordable. Part of the reason they could buy it in the first place was because of the repairs it still needed. He and Ao had looked around for anything that would constitute a high priority, like a broken pipe, but really the only thing they found was that the gas on the water heater was not working. They could take cold showers, he supposed, but it would be a problem in the winter.

He cleaned up the place a little before going to sleep after they ate. Apparently, the previous owners had a fondness for insects, which was getting to be more of an issue as it warmed up. Getting to bed at last, he thought briefly about how he was addressing the lady of the house by her family name or as Ao's wife, though he had known her for a good while before that. _Maybe it'd be better to think of her as her given name. I probably shouldn't call her Eri unless she suggests it, though._

The succeeding morning he woke up on time and managed to get to work on time, though he was tired and probably would have missed what the first and second customers said had he been the one to take their orders. Fortunately Honda seemed inclined to keep doing that himself, while he was cleaning up. It seemed like staff at a butchery could really be any amount, but it would just be more or less work at times. The boss's inclinations apparently switched to proving this point, since he took the opportunity to run some errands and did not return until Tomoya usually had his lunch break, which he ended up skipping as a result. _I guess the old man would've had to skip it a few times._

Fortunately it seemed doubtful many people would even come in during their lunch break, because raw meat was generally a product the consumer bought before it was absolutely necessary, so a midday purchase would be unlikely. While the butcher was out, his assistant and former night manager saw no one, meaning the time he spent there instead of eating lunch had been wasted. _I'm going to have to start bringing my lunch to work. If it doesn't mess with the married couple that much, I can probably just put some leftovers in a plastic container._

It was unlike what he had done for a good bit of his life, which was buying whole meals at convenience stores, but it was a lot cheaper and probably better for him. On that front, as long as he was not hungry or putting on weight, he could hardly tell the difference. The human body, in his thinking, seemed to have some good ways of letting people know something was going wrong, or at least was suboptimal.

He tossed around the idea of working out a deal with his boss to where he could take some amount of meat home every day at a discount, which would make him a more popular co-owner of the house, and most likely save the Yasui family time on their shopping trips. In any case, though, that would have to wait for the following day, since he reminded himself he had to meet Mitsui. She was located close to the butcher shop, so there was no way she would be home before he got off; at the very least he could get her attention on the way home. _She kind of deserves an apology for making her go through that. Maybe since she went along with it, she's better off legally, but they probably never would have caught her if she just decided not to say anything._

Not for the first time, he wondered if he had ever been into the jewelry store in an alternate reality, and if so, what had brought him there. Since straightening up in school, he had become something of a spendthrift, as that seemed the more responsible thing to do, though he might have just inherited that trait from his former self. The obvious reason for a young man to go into such an establishment was to get a gift for a young woman, but who could that have been? In his dream with Kyou she made reference to the fact that they had never gotten together, and the relationship he seemed to have with Sakagami was not one of ex-lovers. _Maybe it had something to do with Nagisa. I have to at least consider it. I was a different man in that timeline, though. Would I have fallen in love with her?_

_Would she have fallen for me?_

He shook his head. It was hard enough to tell if she liked him as it was.


	70. Jewels

It was a thirty-something woman behind the counter, but Mitsui was still in the store. He could only guess at how much legwork there was to do for a jeweler, but maybe she was a real apprentice. He shook his head. That didn't matter.

"Hey, can I talk with your employee for a second? We'll be right outside the store." He turned around to hear the door opening. It was Nagisa. The woman looked at him for a moment.

"Well, you certainly can if you buy something." _Oh. So that's how she earns her keep._ A furtive glance at the jeweler's hand picked out a ring. He turned to the girl at the entrance, who looked a little unsure of what was going on.

"Hey, Nagisa, look around for a bit and tell me if you see anything you like." The hue of her face was the envy of every self-respecting tomato. Her embarrassment was mirrored only by the confusion of the woman behind the counter, but he paid no further mind as he led an almost grateful Mitsui out of the store.

"I did as you asked. I went to the police and-"

"I'm sorry. I put you through a lot, didn't I?" There was no response for a moment.

"It's... fine. They told me I did the right thing by coming forward. They hadn't been looking for me or anything... really, they treated me like some kind of heroine."

"That's not how you feel, though, is it?"

"Have you ever seen _A Streetcar Named Desire_?" she asked. He shook his head. _I had about enough of that in school, thanks._

"Well, I just want to tell you that you're not responsible for anything Sasaki did. He told me himself that he didn't do it just because you liked it, and I'm willing to bet more than enough girls told him he was a jerk, and he didn't let that stop him."

"That's what I figured," she said, sighing a little. "I just wasn't one of them."

"Well, if you're going to feel bad about it, don't keep it up the rest of your life. You're not the only person in the world to make a mistake when you were young." He handed her the picture from his wallet and she took it gladly. "I should have given you that back before. I should have left you with a choice."

"I had a choice," she said quietly. "Even then, I had a choice." She took the picture as though someone were watching. Looking over his shoulder through the glass of the display window, he saw Nagisa bow her way out of the store.

"You didn't have much of one."

"I know. Not all of your choices are going to be that good," she explained, not looking at him. "I learned that a while back, when I didn't have any choices left that I really liked. Sometimes you can't make it out without hurting someone, and sometimes you can't make it out without hurting yourself." She offered a wan smile. "Please tell me your girlfriend found something. It makes me feel better when I pull my weight around here."

"Did you see anything you liked?" he asked, looking past Mitsui.

"Umm... maybe you should take a look," she said, looking at her index fingers as they met. The three of them went inside and walked over to a set of pendants. _Must already have a chain or something._

"Oh, these are all different colors of Tanzanite," the employee explained.

"I'll go ahead and guess they're from Tanzania." She nodded.

"I think you would be better off with an amber pendant, though. Something like this would match your eyes." She showed Nagisa a different pendant, and in fairness, it was about the same color.

"We'll take it," Tomoya decided. _Can't let her work me up to anything more expensive._ It was just the pendant, and amber was technically not a stone, so he presumed it was a little easier to find, but it was still noticeable in his budget, especially after he spent so much on the house. _I haven't even started repairing that damn hot plate yet._

After being quickly led to the counter where he made the exchange, he left Mitsui to what he could reasonably guess would be an interesting conversation, unless she just lied and said he had some business with her. _I really wouldn't blame her if she did. It's not like everyone in the world needs to know what we were discussing._

Nagisa was walking slowly, a little more so than usual.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "I know you haven't had supper, so-"

"You didn't have to really get me this," she said quietly.

"I don't see why I shouldn't," he responded. "I told Yasui- that's what Harada's name is now- that we're still on. You don't want to go and make a liar of me, do you?" he asked, putting an arm around her as they walked.

"Jerk," she objected quietly, leaning against him a little. "Why do you act so mean when you can be nice?" She was really looking at him now.

"A while back it was just easier," he admitted. "If people didn't like me, I didn't have to worry about them."

"You were always mean to Sunohara, but you liked each other."

"That was different. You wouldn't get it." He sighed a little. "We liked pulling jokes on each other; I was just a lot better at it. He probably felt like if he stopped hanging out with me, it would count as a victory for me. Rather than admitting defeat, he kept the game going. I didn't mind, since it was better than not interacting with anyone, but if you'd been friends with him, you wouldn't have taken him seriously either."

Since he was introducing a hypothetical, he did not take it as particularly telling that Nagisa did not deny his claim. They walked in silence a little ways before reaching the bakery. That was when she stopped and turned around.

"I want to keep trying. I want to keep going on dates with you."

"Well, that's what I was hoping you would say," Tomoya said. "I promise I won't try to twist your arm." He looked around. "That doesn't mean you'll get everything your way."

"I wouldn't think that was what it meant," she said, looking in through the display window. Her mother waved. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

"I'll see you out here right after I get off work, how's that?" he asked, turning to go as she nodded. "See you then."

Going back to the house, he made a nominal effort at assessing the damage on the hot plate, remembering it somehow. It seemed Ao had already taken a look at it, since it had moved from the counter to the table, but the most he could get out of it was that the plastic on the exterior was cracked and some of the internal components had moved around. There was a free wire, but he could not tell if it had broken somewhere or just been pulled loose. _I guess I also don't know if the resident scientist has tinkered with it._

Deciding it was better not to bother with it, he got a shower, did some exercises almost on instinct, or perhaps to wear himself out for bed. _It's not like I've got anything else to do._

The following morning, he was almost used to getting up, but it was still the alarm waking him. Getting up, he remembered having taken a shower at night, something else he was going to have to get used to doing. Taking the night shift had taught him how flexible his schedule really was, if nothing else. There was no law against going to bed right when he got home and waking up before the sun rose, but somehow he preferred doing it the way he had done it while living with his father, waking up and going to work immediately after.

There was another shipment of meat to manage, and he did not envy Honda for having had to manage the last one himself. A single cut would probably last about three days in refrigeration, at least to the point where the regulations did not let them sell it, but the shop made the effort to stagger the deliveries a little, which saved money in the long run. They vacuum sealed whatever they could and put the rest on hooks. Having two sets of hands made the work go faster, but it seemed the customers were generally willing to wait anyway. This time it was a local restaurant that wanted to sample the ground white chicken meat and the thinly sliced beef. _Traditional Japanese place, I'm guessing._

The butchery catered to a discerning audience according to the butcher, supplying different cuts than the grocers and convenience stores- thicker, differently styled, or with different cuisines in mind. Either way, it was a lot more to learn and more work to do. In some cases, gram for gram, it was cheaper to buy a larger cut and slice it up yourself, so that might have constituted part of the appeal of the shop. Honda had him get out the trash later than usual, but he guessed it was more important to process the morning delivery. Slapping a sixty yen sticker on a trash bag, he carried it out the back and to the correct drop off point, coming back in and washing his gloves immediately.

"Excuse me?" It was Ryou.

"Oh, hi, what are you getting today?" he asked, looking down again as he made it to the front, not checking on what exactly occupied his boss, though he was curious. "Just got a new shipment of pork."

"I was going to try beef today..." she started. "That might be better, though..."

"Don't let me keep you. Is Kyou doing okay?" he asked.

"She started teaching recently. The other teachers are... definitely letting her get her hours in." Tomoya found himself smiling. Somehow it was just like her.

"What about you?"

"I... well, I started my new classes... they're going well..." _She knows I don't really have any context and doesn't really know how to describe nursing school._ "Uh... I'll have a kilogram of the pork shoulder slices."

"No problem; we just cut them," he said, forgoing the usual recommendation of tossing them in the hotpot. Ryou was experimenting and he could reasonably presume she had no desire for advice. She still lived at home, because it was a short enough commute to school, and most likely because her parents thought someone would take advantage of her lack of confidence in most things. _Fair._ He processed her order and received the payment. _Don't like it, but I can't argue. They're taking the right approach by letting her build it up._

Going to the house for lunch because he forgot to pack it up and take it with him, he came back to find the shop empty. _Damn. If Honda's trying to teach me another lesson, I can't figure out what it is._ He set himself to cleaning the place again as soon as he finished the sandwich he had started on the way back. The man had an almost supernatural ability to predict when customers were not going to show up, which was almost always when both of them were out. He had told Tomoya about the trends about when people seemed to show up on which days of the week, but it was hard to keep it all in his head.

When the butcher returned he seemed to get really uptight about the blades on the slicers, which he could have sworn he had just cleaned. Shrugging, he took care of it without asking why. He knew why the blades had to be cleaned in general, and that was the answer he would be getting. _Probably something better to ask. No, I'll just bring it up like I don't care._

"Mitsurugi came in here on my last night shift. Didn't know you two were talking."

"We're not. My sister thought he'd be better off hearing that he's not failing in school. Don't see why that was necessary."

"Oh, so you had a little more confidence in him."

"You could call it that. Ever since he was a kid, he could probably do just about anything he wanted. Seemed to think that meant he had to."

"Is that why you wanted him to work here?"

"I just thought I'd give him a demonstration of what a normal life is like. Rest of his family thinks he's got to be a rugby playing businessman and coach when he's old. It's like the world ends if he makes less than eight figures." Tomoya nodded. He never had that problem, but maybe Sakagami did. _Most of the pressure on her is just what she puts on herself, though._

"Is that what you told him? You just wanted him to see it's not so bad to live a simple life?"

"If I told him that, he'd think he only needed to keep at it for a week." Honda sighed. "What did you think of it the first week?"

"Really hard, monotonous, tons of regulations; couldn't see why anyone liked it."

"Well, don't candy-coat it. Has to be that way or you'll end up poisoning someone." A call came in and he briefly wondered if the boss was going to get it. _Probably not._ "It doesn't really matter, not now."

The call was about a delivery, as he might have guessed; the customer was a business that wanted a hundred kilograms of sliced beef. _It sounds like one of those hibachi grill restaurants._ Writing down the time, he looked up the address in the local directory and wrote that down next to the time on the order schedule. It would take about an hour out of the next day, but that was not really a concern. He guessed Honda had some kind of relationship with the restaurant and that alone was worth maintaining. Getting regular clients on the hook was at least ten times more valuable than anything they sold to walk-in customers.

Once they had the late afternoon housewives out of the way, the day was more or less over and they cleaned up and put the meat in the display into refrigeration before locking the door and leaving. It was a bit weird getting back into the closing procedure with Honda, but he guessed that was how it was going to be for a while. _Might as well get used to it._

He went and found Nagisa waiting for him outside the bakery. Akio could be seen through the glass, but there was no cause to say anything. It was better to avoid getting on his bad side, and at least this way he would know his daughter was still going out.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No, have you?" He shook his head, smiling a little.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Um... I was thinking of going to your house."

"There's an idea. I don't think you've had Yasui's cooking yet. I think Ao's supposed to be home early too, so it'll be the four of us." He looked back to see his girlfriend had not moved.

"I was thinking of going and eating with your dad."

"Oh." He stopped. "I mean, I guess, but I wouldn't want to just drop in on him. I've been meaning to visit, though, so if you want we can see him next time. I'm sure if he knows we're coming the day before, he'd appreciate that." _Does she want to see him so she knows he's okay with it? Why does she need my father's permission?_

They crossed the street as she said something about not having had her heart set on it. He still had no idea what exactly she felt about him, but it seemed pointless to ask that kind of question. The fact of it was, she had a harder decision to make than he did and he needed to give her more time to come up with an answer. _Maybe if she meets my father, she'll learn a little more about what kind of guy I am._

Reaching the house to find supper had not been started, he shrugged it off as odd. _I guess they could be going out. They don't normally do that._ He canceled that train of thought when he saw their shoes at the door.

"Huh. It looks like they're both home. Maybe Yasui's in the bathroom or doing something upstairs." They walked in and looked around a little bit. "It's still early. She normally starts supper about thirty minutes from now if we're having leftovers."

"Maybe we should have told them we were coming," Nagisa suggested, looking oddly contemplative.

"Yeah, I don't mind taking you out for real. There's a ramen place just around the corner if you'd like that." She nodded. "I guess we'll tell them next time." He heard what sounded a little like a soft scream and froze for a second as the girl went red and ran. _Damn. Damn, now I'll have to go after her._ Creeping out of the house and softly shutting the door, he was relieved to see she had not gone far. "There was no need to run, you know. It's not like they were chasing us."

He figured he probably should not have said it, but the little shudder was cute.


	71. A Date With A Dream

Nagisa had not exactly calmed down by the time they reached the ramen stand, which looked like it used to be a garage of some sort, but she was no longer red at least. _I wouldn't want people to think she was upset with me. I guess there wouldn't be much they would do if they thought that, though._ They both ordered quietly.

"I didn't know they would be-"

"I know," she said quietly. "I just don't want to be anywhere near anything that... private. I feel terrible knowing that I've heard... she's my friend, Tomoya." She sighed a little. "I guess you wouldn't get it."

"Not really. I mean, I feel like I know why you're different and you're going to see things differently, but I can't really put myself in your shoes." He slurped on a clump of noodles, enjoying them. "They wouldn't fit." His girlfriend raised an eyebrow.

"Are you... trying to be poetic or something?" She looked around as if to make sure that if anyone were paying attention, they at least had the grace not to remove all doubt by staring. "I mean, I get it, but I didn't know you-"

"Well, the director of the third-years told me that a thousand years ago, a guy like me would have been a poet. It really stuck with me for some reason. I mean, you don't think about it, but Matsuo Basho was basically a vagrant wandering around Japan looking for inspiration."

"When was this?"

"Well, he thought Sakagami was helping me cheat on my exams. Worse, he thought we were sleeping together." Nagisa gulped a little. "Well, apparently he wasn't really the only one who thought that, and he was probably one of the ones trying to convince the others that it was ridiculous." _Was it?_ His mind went back to his friend as she fingered one of the buttons on her shirt.

"What happened?"

"Well, my score didn't get tossed out somehow, which was good, but I couldn't tell you how he did it. I still counted as having passed, and I probably wouldn't have gotten the job if I hadn't."

"I mean, how did that lead to you getting compared to a poet?"

"He and I were on the same page about my being no good for Sakagami. Basically, he told me that she and I were on two different paths in life, and there wasn't any was I could get up to hers, so I was just going to drag her down to mine. He said that he tried to be understanding of the fact that someone like myself comes along every so often, and maybe a previous millennium would have treated me better. I really couldn't tell you, but that was probably the closest thing to a genuine compliment an adult had ever given me." He looked down a bit, finishing his ramen. _For what I spent, I can't afford to toss it just because I don't feel like eating._

"It seems like you're still thinking about that," Nagisa observed. She had mostly finished, but she looked a little sensitive about the smoked egg. "Did something happen recently?"

"With Sakagami? Not really, it's just Mitsurugi and his uncle got me thinking about it. I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"It's fine if you just want to talk about it with someone. Even if I don't have any advice, I can always lend a sympathetic ear." _Yeah. That's true._

They got up and he started walking her back home. It seemed better to get her home before dark, or at least before it was completely dark, now that the old man knew he had his own place. Something had changed in the girl's expression.

"Well, I think basically he spent a long time pushing himself because of everyone's expectations- or that's what his uncle thinks, I guess he could be wrong."

"Of course he could be wrong. How would he know better than Mitsurugi if he was being influenced-"

"That's what I thought too, but then I asked myself how he always knows what I'm about to ask before I ask it. Honda's a sharp old man, and he's probably been watching his nephew longer than Mitsurugi's really been thinking about his own decisions. I didn't know what I was doing after graduation until a week before." He knew he had told Nagisa about his relationship with his father. "I just don't know if there's even anything to be done here."

"Isn't it like that sometimes?" she asked after a moment. _Don't I know it._

"Yeah. It is. It's just that I've felt like this before even when it turned out there was something I needed to do. Then, sometimes I thought I was supposed to do one thing, but I think I was really supposed to do something else."

"How do you know?" _She knows I'm leaving out a lot._

"I... I haven't told anyone this, but sometimes I get these dreams. They're kind of like visions, and I honestly couldn't tell you it's not my imagination, but I never thought I had much of an imagination before this. Anyway, I see things as they might have been, or, I don't know, as they might still be, and I'm not sure exactly why I'm seeing them, but the consistency is that every time I help someone, I see that person in a dream. It's only a few years in the future, but I'm never quite sure how we got to that point."

"Are the dreams... detailed?"

"As much as real life. It's bizarre. I've been trying to piece together what happened, because it seemed like something terrible... I don't know what it was, but it really ruined my life, and probably more than just my life." He looked over after a moment and Nagisa did not seem to have looked up.

"That's... a lot to take in," she said at length. "I feel like I should not have made you wait so long a while ago when I was deciding how I felt about you, but now I don't know how to respond to this.

"It's fine. I've been... managing, I think, so far. I don't expect anyone else to be able to help me with it."

"Is that why you were worried about your father?"

"Yeah. In one of my visions, I was at a funeral. It's not that far into the future, because, well, Kyou still looked basically the same, but that's what got me thinking that he might get a heart attack or something. He checks the boxes on a lot of the risk factors." There was a pause.

"Am I in any of your dreams?"

"Only the ones I like having." Nagisa crossed her arms.

"You didn't have to make it lewd." She turned around as if Ao and his wife would be following. "If I'm not in your future, though..."

"Sometimes I don't think that version of me met you."

"Huh?"

"I don't want to grasp at straws trying to figure something out when I just have way too little information in the first place, but I would guess that I never met you, more likely than anything else." They stopped in front of the bakery. "Do you remember how we met? To be honest, I'm not sure how I remember it, because out of context it just seems like any old moment-"

"We were at the bottom of the hill," she said. "You stopped and looked at me and I asked you if you liked this school." It felt like something was trying to come back to the surface of his mind, but there had been too many memories since then, from the past and from the future.

"Yeah. It was kind of a chance encounter. I don't think I really knew who you were before that..." _Did I? Did I know anything about her? Which timeline was this?_ "I'm sure I saw you, though." He looked though the glass. _I really hope you haven't been standing there the whole time, Akio._ "I hate to leave it like this-"

"-but we have to go," Nagisa finished. They parted.

He went back to the house thinking about what he had told his girlfriend, wondering if he had really done the right thing. _I know I don't like worrying her, but really that was the gang problem, not whatever's going on in my mind. That's something... it's different at least. I can't say for sure if she could do something about it._

Kicking off his shoes at the door, he found that Ao and Yasui were downstairs, finishing up supper. He guessed he could make a joke about having heard them earlier, but that was being unnecessarily mean to both of them, mostly the wife, but her husband as well because she would never be quite sure they were alone after hearing that he had come in without their knowledge. _I'll just wait until I've got him on his own._

"Oh, are you hungry?" Yasui asked as she started putting the plates away. "I didn't think you were going to be home. When- when I noticed what time it was and looked around, I didn't see you, so I assumed you would be having supper with your father."

"Oh, that reminds me, I've got to go see him or call him." _Calling would probably be better at this hour. I just don't know the home phone number._ "No, I went on a bit of a date with Nagisa. We just wanted to get some ramen from that place around the corner."

"Did she like it?" the girl's voice called out, turned away from him though she was. It was kind of a loaded question, since going to a ramen stand was not normally a date night arrangement. _I guess she could be asking about the date in general, though._

"She didn't drink the broth or anything, though that's probably because of all the salt." _I'll just interpret the question as if she's asking about the ramen._ "Do you have a telephone around- oh, there it is." There was a cordless telephone on a charger on the counter and he had probably seen it a hundred times, but had never particularly committed it to memory. Acting like he was dialing it for a minute, he visibly gave up and just went out the door.

There was probably no point to acting like he had given calling his father a shot. He knew it was the correct thing to do, but he doubted either of his housemates would just guess he was being deliberately impolite by not making the attempt. _Most of what you're worried people are thinking, they're not really thinking. They don't spend nearly that much time thinking about you._

He reached his father's house and knocked on the door. It was dark out, but it had not been for very long. _Maybe he's in bed, though. He's been cutting down on drinking, so what's he going to do all night?_ It occurred to him that an old man who lived by himself was probably lonely and bored a lot.

 _It was probably hard for him to kick me out._ He sighed a little. _Not that I was the best of sons to have around._

The door opened.

"Good evening, Tomoya, what brings you here so late?"

"I was just thinking about paying you a visit with my girlfriend tomorrow." _I haven't told him I have one, I don't think._ "Should we bring anything? I guess she could bring bread-"

"That's good news. Is this the Furukawa girl?"

"Yeah." _Guess he figured it out._ "We kind of hit a rough patch a while ago and random things just keep popping up."

"That happens. Do you take her out on dates a lot?"

"Not that often. I don't think she expects to be taken out all the time, and that's not the issue right now."

"It can't hurt." _It can't hurt anything except my savings._

"She wanted to see you at least once, I guess. I've seen her parents. I think it's usually what you do when you're getting serious."

"Do you like her?"

"Yeah."

"That's enough for me. You're a man now, Tomoya." He nodded. When he was in high school, there had been more than a few times when he would have appreciated more intervention, but he was happy to feel grown enough that he no longer wanted it. _I guess he really is right._

"I'll see you tomorrow after work, then. It's okay if you're home a little late or something; we'll wait."

"Okay."

He left without further comment. It really was getting late, but there was nothing left that he really wanted to do except exercise and sleep. So far it seemed easier for him to readjust to being up during the day than it had been to adjust to a nocturnal sleep cycle. Getting back to the house, he guessed the others were sleeping or reading quietly or something. Ao and Yasui had decided not to go in on a television because neither of them really wanted to watch anything, and he basically sympathized. It never seemed worth sitting through all the commercials.

Taking a shower after doing some brief exercises, he felt like it was mentally helpful if nothing else. He smiled slightly, eyes closed under the water. It was the first time in his life where most things seemed like they were looking up.

The next morning, he was awake with his alarm, though he could not have said if he would have woken up without it, if that even made sense. Remembering he had an early delivery at the butchery, he did his best to get to the shop early and get his uniform on. Honda seemed to guess what was going on with that and pointed to the keys, which he was now hanging up next to the door. _That's pretty risky._

He said nothing about his evaluation of the risk of leaving the keys where they could be furtively grabbed by the customer as he walked out with them. Getting into the car, he had some idea of where he was going, since he had driven there once before, if only in a dream. _Should I tell Ryou that I've been having visions?_

Tomoya really had to think about that one. _I know she only likes fortunes because they're not certain, but I guess my visions aren't certain. I honestly felt kind of weird even bringing them up with Nagisa, because it seemed like the kind of thing no one else would believe._ He shook his head as he stopped a bit too late at a light. _No, just because she's more likely to believe in prophetic dreams doesn't mean I should tell her about them. She's trying to be a nurse; what would I even tell her? That I saw her in a vision and she'd succeeded? Should I tell her that she got engaged?_

He definitely did not want to tell her that she tried to leave and he grabbed her arm. Getting out as soon as he reached the house, he had to walk the rest of the way with the ground chicken breast. _At least as far as Kyou's concerned, my decision is much simpler. Even if I told her about the vision I had of her, she wouldn't believe me, so there's no point in wondering if it'd do any good or not._

"Hi, Okazaki," Ryou called out, waiting at the door for him. "You look a little... lost in thought."

"I get that a lot." He handed her the package. "Did you call me out here because you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes. I saw that your boss was giving you a look last time I was in the shop. It felt like maybe you were supposed to be politely shuffling me out."

"I don't know; I'm pretty sure that's just his face. He talks with customers sometimes. It helps maintain the image of the business."

"Oh... well, in that case... I met a guy at the hospital, and now Kyou's jealous." It might have been the fastest thing he had ever heard her say.

"That's great. I mean, it's not that great that she's jealous, but it'll be fine. Maybe she'll meet someone at school."

"Well... it's sort of like she's trying really hard to not be jealous. I really don't know what to tell her."

"I mean, there's not much you can tell her. You don't have to help her with this kind of personal thing. If there's nothing you feel like you can do, that's just kind of it." She nodded along with his words. "I guess you could tell her I said she had a cute butt."

Ryou reddened as he started to walk off.

"W-wait-"

"Be sure and say that I said that before I started dating Nagisa," he called back as he walked back to the car. _Honda's expecting me back. He probably knows how far of a drive it is, and there's only so much I can blame on traffic._

If he had gone to the property uncertain of whether or not he was doing the right thing, he did not leave any differently, but at least he was amused.


	72. Expectations

For lunch that day he went to the bakery, but it was Akio behind the counter. They exchanged some standard pleasantries, but said nothing more after that. He spent most of the rest of the day doing tasks, since apparently there was a lull in customers and Honda left knives for him to sharpen or clean whenever he took a delivery. _I guess that's one way to get me to come back as soon as I can._

When he got off, he decided not to ask if there were anything he could take home, since he had already left a message at the bakery for Nagisa. He walked to the bakery to pick her up, though if she decided to leave without him he would at least see her on the way there. Having requested perhaps a few dinner rolls to go with whatever his father would be making, or anything she wanted really, he had no idea what to expect, but their host was not known to overconsume carbohydrates, so it would probably work out in any case. He caught her right as she was closing the door behind herself.

"Do your parents make you pay for bread?" She nodded.

"It's their money, but if I only got a little at a time, I would have to learn to save it up."

"How much did you get?" he asked as they started walking.

"A hundred yen a week." He said nothing at first. "Was your experience different?"

"Yeah, you could say that." _I've been paying for most of my own meals since I was in middle school._

They walked for a few minutes in silence, waving to Yoshino as they passed under him. Tomoya had a brief thought that it might be a better idea to take advice from him than from his unmarried friends, but at least they understood his situation. _He was almost married to his wife for so long I doubt he remembers what it was like to just be dating._

"I was thinking it would be something like that."

"Huh?" he asked, looking over.

"My parents were always really focused on saving. If you asked me a few years ago, I would have said they were the most concerned parents in the world." It was not the first time he had seen the contrast between their normal behavior and the seriousness that belied it. _Not even the first time in this timeline. I knew I knew them from somewhere..._ "So, I suppose by default, I should not be surprised to hear that someone else's parents were less focused on saving."

"I mean, I don't think my father ever really worried about the future. He seemed to think I was pretty much done growing up at thirteen, and figured sooner or later he was going to drink himself to death. Letting me have whatever I wanted to spend on food was just what made sense, given all that." He sighed. "Somehow I don't really feel all that good about it that he's probably making plans to stay alive just because I wanted him to live for the first time."

"Well, you're still concerned about his heart, though, right?"

"That's what it's most likely to be," he said. "He looked at me like I was weird, though, so maybe his doctor hasn't said anything about it." He remembered the conversation about his father's theory that the doctor was going easy on him to congratulate him on cutting back on the alcohol. "Well, that doesn't mean it's not a concern."

"I'm glad you care about him," she said quietly as they arrived. Tomoya knocked on the door. _Here goes nothing._

"Come in." The two of them walked in and took a seat at the low table just in the entranceway. Somehow it looked like a strange place, though he had been there for a good portion of his life. _This was my second home out of four._ "Are you my son's girlfriend? He didn't say you were so pretty." The old man went to the kitchenette to retrieve a pot from the stovetop.

"T-thank you, sir," she said, going red. He wanted to be annoyed because the expectation was that he would have bragged about her to his father, but she looked so cute and flustered that he paid more attention to what his father brought out to the table. "I like curry," she said, as if trying to change the subject. "Did you know I was bringing bread?" she asked, most likely noticing the absence of rice.

"He eats as little carbs as he can get away with," he explained, putting an arm around her a moment. "I did tell him you would probably bring bread, though."

They ate quietly for a moment as his father went over some neutral subjects, like work and his finances. He was doing better for the most part, on track to pay off his debts, but it was going to be a good while before that could happen, and he was still having to think about retirement. _He's getting close to that age already. I guess if he wants to keep living inexpensively, he can probably manage it... no, he'll need to get into stocks or something._

"You should probably get a good amount of shares in the Dow," he said between bites. "They've been going up for years, though they have some dips here and there. Pull your shares in 2007." Nagisa was staring at him, though his father laughed. _Wait a minute-_

"That's my son, he knows everything. I'm not sure the bank would be happy with me if I tried to play games like that."

"It's not gambling," he argued. "The odds are much better and there's no house that's always winning. Also, get some Apple stocks. Don't even worry about selling them, just hold them as long as you can." _I should probably do that myself. I'll see if Honda knows anything about it._

They enjoyed the dinner and Nagisa seemed inclined to tell his father as much about her as she could, though Tomoya had thought she had come to learn about the old man. _I guess it's also important the other way around, though I've never heard of a father being seriously concerned about the girl his son is trying to marry._ Even as he thought of it, the idea of getting married was still weird to him. It seemed like an adult thing, and he was still getting used to the thought of being an adult. _It's probably a lot harder for Nagisa, since her parents have spent so long taking care of her._

Eventually they thanked his old man and left.

"Did you see his expression?" his girlfriend asked. "He's so proud of you. I was feeling pretty self conscious about that, but..."

"He always looks like that."

"Then he's always been proud of you."

The idea stopped him in his tracks. _Has he been... proud of me this whole time? That's what that smile means?_

"I guess he has. I never really thought about it because... he's always looked like that. How could he be... oh, I get it, his standards are just really low and it's a damn wonder I've managed to survive this long." Nagisa stood in his way. She leaned her face against his chest as she reached her hands up to his shoulders, and his arms went around her back. _This late at night, no one is going to see us._

"He's really proud of you, Tomoya. Maybe his expectations were low. I don't know." She looked up, her eyes shining a little. "I just know that he sees the same man I see. Did you ever tell him about what you were doing at school?"

"I didn't even tell you most of what I did-"

"I found out. I don't know if I know everything, but I've been asking people at school. I wouldn't be at all surprised if teachers have called your house." She sniffled. "Can you promise me something?"

"What?" He felt he knew that this was about the rough patch.

"You're a good guy. That's the standard. I think for a long time you've allowed yourself to believe you're a delinquent."

"I was a delinquent."

"You're not anymore. You're the guy who helped Fuko. You showed Ryou how to have a little more confidence. You- " He held her more tightly, as if to stop her from telling him more about what he had done. _I don't like being praised._

"Thanks. We should be getting back." She nodded and looked at him for only a moment more before practically skipping off. It seemed like the last thing he expected her to do. Catching up to her, he remembered that he had probably been seeing her as a recovering invalid. _It's summer now, though, so I guess she's all better._

When they made it to the bakery, it felt harder than usual to say goodbye to her, so they stood there exchanging some quiet words, promising to see each other again. He looked over her shoulder several times to see with renewing gratitude that her parents were not staring out the window waiting for her. At long last he went home, and expected that Ao and Yasui would be asleep, which was fine. It definitely made sense given how late it was and how many trips he had already made.

He arrived, feeling about as tired as he had a right to expect to feel, though he knew he would still be trying to do a few exercises before bed, because he was just in the habit at this point. His mind returned to his father, who seemed to be in generally good health, but that only made him think of his dreams again. Back when he had the last one, he had been more concerned about the fact that his old man did not appear in them than his girlfriend, but he supposed that it was just a myth that people were tied together by a red string of fate. He had never particularly believed that there was a true love waiting for him or any of that romantic nonsense, but perhaps he had grown used to being proven wrong. Perhaps when he started to see the visions, he had in the back of his mind wondered if something like fate really existed.

_When I started dating Nagisa for real, I definitely knew she was the girl for me. It was like a mystery where I knew the answer and I just watched through it to see if I could figure out the details before the reveal. It was like I had loved her for a long time._

Looking up at the ceiling as he was at last in bed, he thought of how unlikely it was he would have gone as far as he had to get back with Kyou or Sakagami, two girls he knew liked him and he felt he might have liked at least a little. Hitting a rough patch with either one of them, though, would have most likely sent him down the path of fatalism, thinking that from one problem, it was simply not meant to be. He had not done that with Nagisa, though, and he knew she knew it. _I even left a message with her mother of all people. I told her I wanted to see her again._

He did not remember his dreams by the time he woke up. Reaching over to turn off his alarm as he got out of bed, he remembered he had moved it farther out of reach. His waking mind was a bit more responsible and time-sensitive than whatever part of him just wanted to sleep longer, so it worked out. Getting dressed, he headed downstairs to ask if it would be at all possible to have someone over at any point, and his housemates looked at each other uncertainly before looking back.

"It's not that we wouldn't like to see Nagisa, it's just that we're going to be busy for the next few days. We'll tell you more about it as we know more."

"Oh, that's perfectly fine." _Huh. I guess it's obvious that I would be talking about inviting her over._ "I wouldn't want to impose my will on the rest of the house. I'm off to work."

It was a bit of a disappointment that for the near future, he would not be able to invite his girlfriend to the house, but he doubted she would say anything about it. She was not the kind of girl who needed to be taken out all the time, but if he got to a better place financially, there was a chance he could manage once a week. It was not as if he had started to think about his retirement plans.

"Honda, do you have any stocks?" he asked as soon as he got in and started sweeping the floor. The old man shook his head.

"You're looking for my sister and her husband. They know everything about that sort of thing." _That makes sense. If I had a good way of getting in touch with Mitsurugi, I guess he and I could talk about that._ "Either way, I'm expecting to take a few days off the beginning of next week."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. It's nothing you haven't done before, I don't think, so you'll be fine. I just thought I would tell you so you would know I hadn't just disappeared." _That means he'll be here another day and then I'll be on my own._ It seemed like a good idea to take it in stride.

"Okay. Anything else you think I might need to know?"

"Nope."

Deciding that meant he would not be leaving any contact information, Tomoya decided that he probably was qualified to handle the place for a bit by himself. _There's probably not much of the job that I haven't seen yet, and if there is, he's accounted for that possibility and he's not worried._ It was just a matter of doing the same thing he had done at night, more or less.

 _At the same time, I don't just want to put off my investments forever. The sooner I get in, the better._ There was a financial advisor a ways up the street he could see straight after work. _Nagisa isn't going to care if I don't hang out with her for a day. Well, she might care, but it'll be fine._

After serving a customer who couldn't seem to come to a decision for twenty minutes, he took a lunch break, deciding it would be better to go to the bakery. He had been getting paid in checks so far, which required him to go to a bank in town every so often, but he usually carried a good amount of cash on him. Understanding that most people had a bank account, it was actually kind of weird that he had something close to his entire asset on him. _That's not hard after I spent so much on the down payment for the house._

As he understood it, a good part of it came from the loan, but the down payment was mostly eaten by Ao's savings and Harada's bridal gift; and they were going to buy it anyway, so his addition really just made the interest less expensive. He was still thinking about it as he got into the store, where Sanae asked him if he would like to try some new bread.

"Sure, that sounds good," he said, eating it without really thinking about it. He had swallowed the whole roll before realizing how repulsive it was. "What was in that, if I might ask?"

"Stewed leeks," she responded, nodding proudly. "I had the leeks imported from the United Kingdom."

"People eat leeks there? Is stewing them the best way to eat them?" She nodded again.

"It's the only way to eat them- until now."

"I see."

"What's on your mind?" His expression shifted. "I figured there had to be something on your mind."

"Oh, right, I was just thinking about going down to the credit union or a financial advisor and getting some stocks. It seems like a better thing to do with my meager savings than jamming it into my mattress."

Sanae giggled.

"I wish you the best," she said as he left with a wave. _It's not gambling._

He got back to the shop about thirty seconds late by his estimation, but Honda seemed to have nothing to say about that. _He probably knows I understand how to be on time when necessary. Well, that's if he even noticed._ On his first few days, he had been pretty desperate to prove himself as a good employee, so he had probably imagined the boss as a more scrutinizing man than he turned out to be. The locker seemed to be stuck at the same temperature, which was a problem, but at least it was something they could fix. If the meat was not kept at an appropriate temperature, however, colder at night than during the day, they could lose their entire stock at once.

"Really can't do a lot of business until we get it sorted out," the butcher had explained. "Not to worry, though, I'm pretty sure it's this old fuse back here. It blew out once two years ago, so I replaced it and it hasn't given me any trouble since." He reached back behind the machine and Tomoya heard a tone that sounded like the whole thing turning off. "Well, that isn't supposed to happen."


	73. Investment

Tomoya stepped into the office like he had some idea of what he was doing there. He felt underdressed, but it was not as if he would just go back to dig up his old school uniform. _I should really get some formal clothes at some point._ He thought of how he had seen himself wearing a black suit in the dream.

"Excuse me, sir?" The woman behind the desk was only a few years older than himself.

"I was wondering if someone here could tell me about how to get into the stock market. I'd like to open a portfolio."

"Oh, well, you've come to the right place." He followed her to another desk. _Was this really necessary?_ "Usui, you have a new account." He shook hands with an older man and sat down in front of him. At some point he could have sworn he said his own name, so he had that covered.

"What do you know about investing, Okazaki?"

"Not a lot."

"Your expression told me that much," he said, a brief smile gracing his lips. "Do you have any objectives?"

"Yeah, could you tell me what Apple stocks cost?" The employee hit some keys on the keyboard in front of him, though Tomoya had no idea what he was doing. _I guess he could just be pulling up the price._

"The American electronics company? Each stock is only about 400 yen."

"Okay, buy as much as you can with this," he said, holding the cash out. He had already taken out what he would need for the rest of the week, so he would probably be fine until his next pay day. "I'll be back with more next week."

"Do you have some expectation that Apple stocks will rise?" The older man looked like he was doing his best to be respectful. _Probably not that easy, considering my approach to investing._

"I get the feeling I'd regret not going into it when I could have. I can't say it's going to explode tomorrow or anything, but it seems like a good thing to do with my asset."

"Well, I can't entirely disagree with that. I guess we'll see how things play out."

He left without much further ado or preamble. He had every expectation that a rising stock would sink here and there, but his general notion of regret communicated that he would probably still be better off holding, so he would go with that until entirely proven wrong.

Tomoya stopped by the bakery, but apparently Nagisa was busy with homework she had been putting off, so he would not get to hang out with her until she was done. _Well, that's what her father says, anyway. If he knows we're still at it, he'll probably become more and more of an obstacle._

Deciding that it was probably still better to mostly stay out of the old man's way, he went home, where he found Ao and Yasui about to start supper. He was lucky to be early enough to get in, and they seemed glad of his company. He exercised before bed and had no trouble sleeping after that.

The following morning, he remembered that there was an issue with the meat locker, but hopefully Honda would have it fixed before he had to leave. He saw nothing unusual on the way to work except this guy he was pretty sure was involved with one of the gangs, but it stood to reason he would see them here and there. _Huh. I was used to seeing Yoshino every so often, but that was about it. One of these days I should probably introduce him to my housemates._

"Morning, boss," he said as soon as he came in, finding no one there. _I guess he could be talking to someone about the damn meat locker. I really didn't think it was so bad he would need to get help, though. He seemed to be saying that he had dealt with a similar problem before._

Deciding to take a look at it himself, he was lost pretty quickly. He really had no idea how refrigeration worked, so he had no idea what was wrong. The temperature was a little too high and they could not seem to get it to go lower, though he guessed that was better than having it not work at all. There was a manual that probably came with the machine when it was installed in the butchery, but he was having to read it slowly to make it through the information dump. _At least the parts about electronics make sense. I could probably figure out which wire happened to be frayed if it turned out to be something like that._

He almost missed the entrance of the day's first customer, but he said 'good morning' anyway and looked up to see that his boss had not arrived yet. _Damn it, Honda, you'd better be working on getting the locker fixed._ The customer was a lady complaining about the meat going bad a day after purchase, which was concerning, since the refrigeration might have been slipping before they noticed it. Tomoya really had no idea how to respond to a complaining customer, so he gave her the retroactive discount she wanted and let her move on with her day. He took care of some morning tasks before the butcher arrived.

"Any idea what's going on with the locker?" he asked without exchanging pleasantries.

"I was a bit occupied with something else. There's a manual under the-"

"I found the manual. I admit I'm not much of a refrigeration mechanic."

"Oh. Well, I'm a butcher, so that's the trade that I've mastered." The younger man frowned. _It's like when he expected me to drop everything and be the night watchman. I mean, I can't complain because my whole employment is hanging by a thread most of the time, but it seems like he's glad to have me around most of the time._ It then occurred to him that he would probably be asked to figure out how to fix things if they broke while Honda was away.

Looking over the manual more as the second customer of the day came in, he was tempted to just not care about the problem. It was outside of the normal scope of his duties, and if it turned out to be impossible for him to fix, could he be blamed for that? Keeping the resources in working order was really the prerogative of the owner of the shop, because he was the one losing money if it failed. The employee, by contrast, had an agreed upon wage independent of the profits of the shop. _He doesn't pay me a percentage; he pays me what my work is worth to him._

He took care of cleaning some tools while the butcher responded to a phone call.

"We've got another delivery. It's some refrigeration company."

"What a coincidence," he said, going out the door. Turning on the car, he had to get gas, which would come out of his pay, but he guessed he could afford it as long as he had no major expenses coming up. _Worst comes to worse, I guess I can borrow money from the register._ He shook his head. Even if he really did just borrow it, he would have to remember how much he borrowed, and Honda would probably get back first anyway.

The order was on the other side of town, so after putting a small amount of gas in the vehicle, he found the place by asking this passing water technician about it. He knew his way around town, generally, and it was not a big place, but it was not as if he knew how to find anything just by the address. It seemed obvious enough that his boss had dealt with this particular company before, or else he would have taken care of it himself, but he reminded himself that the same thing could come up at the start of the next week and he would have had to deal with it anyway.

When he arrived at the refrigeration company, he asked what they wanted with the meat, though he had an idea already. They were doing a test to see how long they could keep it, since apparently meat was the big variable whenever they sold a unit, whether to a household or a business. _Yeah, I guess plants and whatever else would take a lot longer to decay, so you wouldn't really be worried about them._

"Would you happen to know why a meat locker might be spoiling?" he asked. "Like, say the temperature where it's stuck is too high, and you can't seem to do anything to get it lower."

"You're hitting the buttons and the temperature display doesn't change?"

"Yeah."

"That's an electronic error. You might have hit a seasonal brown out, and usually what happens is you need to reset the electronic clock and regulator."

"Oh, thanks; I'll give that a try."

"If that doesn't work it's probably the coolant being old. You can use distilled water for coolant; that'll last you about as long as anything else. You haven't been hearing any sounds?"

"No unusual sounds, no. It actually sounds almost exactly like it always does."

"Okay, well, I hope you don't have too much in it right now, because it's probably the clock. If you don't know the model off the top of your head, you've got a manual somewhere, so just follow the instructions for the reset."

He thanked the engineers earnestly and left, telling them he really had to be back. Somehow he had expected them to try to get him to buy an entirely new meat locker, but he guessed that since they were employees, they probably would not have made any extra money by doing that. Tomoya made it back in reasonable time without having to leave the tank entirely empty, though he suspected Honda would figure out he had only put a bit in. _Well, even if he figures it out, it's not like it wouldn't have come out of my pay anyway._

Going through the manual, he explained what he had learned, and the butcher nodded sagely. Apparently it really was different from last time, which was to be expected at some point. They had another customer show up while he was reading the reset procedure, which caused him to get called away and have to find his place again. The boss had him call the supplier and delay the usual shipment three days, which was no trouble for them, though it cost about twenty thousand yen, which was less than ideal. He asked if that was actually worth it and the old man nodded.

When he realized he had skipped lunch, he decided against making a fuss about it and settled on having a more generous supper. Somehow his stomach was more flexible than his sleep schedule, though at this point that was almost entirely on track. Thinking about not being on the nightshift any longer made him think about getting in touch with Mitsurugi.

"Do you know how your nephew's doing?" he asked. "Maybe it's not so bad."

"I'm sure he can handle it. I didn't suggest he try the simple life because I thought he couldn't."

"Do you have a way of getting in contact with him or does he just show up every now and then?"

"Used to be the latter, had to switch to the former. I think I wrote his phone number over there." The butcher pointed at a card next to the phone with a bunch of unlabeled numbers. _I figured he knew what each of them were and didn't bother. Oh, well, it'll be one of the more recently written ones._

"Okay, that'll work. I like being able to get in touch with my old friends." _I haven't spoken to Sunohara in a while. Didn't his little sister just start high school?_

If he had expected an answer to the question, he would have been disappointed. They served the four o'clock housewives and got ready to close after that. There were times when Honda expected a lot of traffic over the weekend and had the shop open, but mostly they took at least one day off. Fridays, the only difference was they closed a few minutes earlier than normal, but the demand market had come to expect it, so it made little difference in the revenue. At closing time, he grabbed a kilo of pork out of the locker, figuring they would be tossing a few things no matter what. It was still worth the effort to pack the display into the locker, but they both doubted it would last as long as usual.

Going home with the meat, he found Yasui's parents were visiting, and Ao had fixed the hot plate, at least most of the way. He started to heat up the meat, though the senior citizens intervened and insisted that their daughter take care of supper. She thanked him for bringing the meat, so he guessed the visit from the Harada family had come as a surprise. Her husband was not home yet, and they were not exactly happy with that, though it seemed they were trying to be understanding.

"He doesn't drink, does he?" the old man asked Tomoya, probably seeing him as a neutral observer.

"I mean, I think there's beer in the fridge, but I don't think he usually goes by the bar before going home. I'm kind of a living testament to how that adds up over time." An eyebrow went up. "My father drank a lot, but he's getting off it now."

"Well, I hope neither of you take it up," old lady Harada admonished, looking especially long at her daughter. _Oh, she thinks she might be pregnant. I guess that might happen pretty soon, but I think they want to adjust to being married first._ It was not, however, as if he would say any of that. He especially would not say that he was aware the two of them were having sex, even though that was obvious and not any kind of shameful confession. _I guess this is what they call a pregnant pause._

Ao broke the silence by coming home, which was a relief. Tomoya would have been fine with speaking his mind if his own reputation were all that was on the line, but talking with Yasui's parents made things complicated. _On the subject of old people, I should really visit Kotomi's adoptive parents at some point. I'll bet they'll have some advice about getting started._ He thought he had heard one of his housemates bemoaning the pipes shaking. _It'll be nice to be able to go to someone responsible for advice like that. I really don't think my father would know what to do._

Eventually the Harada family went home, and their daughter thanked him for being nice to them, though it was really the least he could do. _I guess now I know what they meant when they said they would be busy. Maybe they just weren't expecting to have supper with them._ The only other thought he really explored before going to bed was the possibility of Ao's parents coming to visit and he wondered if they would be any better. It would fit the theory, since the husband's family was expected to be less picky about his choice of bride, but it was one of those things that he could never quite predict.

The following day, it occurred to him that he could be a few minutes late, but there was no point in that. He knew that he had to get in to set up, and he might as well do it sooner rather than later, and he had no other way of spending his time. _Is this what it's like to be responsible? Maybe I could keep this up._ The door was locked as always, though he had not always arrived first, so unlocking it himself was new. The car was not parked outside, meaning if he took a delivery, it would have to be really close. At the same time, he hoped someone really would call in, because he was almost out of cash and he needed to get to the grocer to pull his weight around the house.

Somehow the idea of water bills and power bills had escaped him when he had set up his budgeting, but because it was just two names on the house they were probably hesitant to ask him for help with the bills, even if they thought they needed it. He had some reason to hope at least their parents would be in better shape than his father, so he could for the moment ignore any needs that came up from that direction, but he knew that was callous and he did have to help his housemates in some way.

His thoughts were interrupted by a customer, who happened to be Nagisa.

"Do you have work today?"

"Yeah. I know it's the weekend, but sometimes Honda opens if he expects more traffic than usual. He didn't really tell me to close, so..."

"Oh, I see. He must be really grateful for all your help."

"If he is, he wouldn't show it," Tomoya responded, shaking his head a bit. "I guess he really did turn out to need my help, but at the beginning the whole thing was like a favor for Mitsurugi that got transferred to me somehow. My employment didn't really have a leg to stand on, so I tried to make myself as useful as possible."

"Oh, okay," Nagisa said, brightening. "We can just do our date here!"


	74. A Date at the Shop

"I didn't know we were having a date," he said, not disappointed or particularly surprised.

"Well... you know now." She looked around the shop. "I'm sorry I ran out when I heard..."

"It's fine. I wouldn't expect you to want to sit there listening."

"I know, but the reason is, well, it's not good to listen in on things like that. Maybe a guy wouldn't mind if someone could hear, but it's a really private thing and most girls don't want to share it with anyone else." She was red again. "Then I made things worse by running out of there loudly instead of tiptoeing out."

"I'm pretty sure they still didn't hear you. I mean, you're right to be concerned in general, but they were on the second floor and probably a lot more focused on each other than anything going on downstairs." _It's probably better to change the subject._ "Did your parents ever tell you about that?"

"Well..."

"Was it last week?"

"No, it was earlier than that. It was when I started high school." _It's an arbitrary time frame, then. They probably decided that would be an appropriate time to tell her._

"What did they say? Was it like a clear explanation or were they wearing kid gloves?"

"I mean, they explained a lot of it... I didn't know anything about it before that, so it would probably seem like a lot either way."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that. Well, as long as they explained enough that you're satisfied, there's probably no reason to-"

"Why do people do it?"

"What?"

"I know people do it when they want to have babies, but, well, Harada, I mean Yasui always said that she would probably wait a few years after getting married. Ibuki-sensei, I mean Yoshino-sensei told me that she had done it with her husband before they were married, but that they were waiting on the wedding to actually try to have children."

"When did she say that?"

"Kyou asked." Nagisa's expression changed. "You're smiling. You look like you expected that."

"It seems like something she would find some way to work into the conversation. I think she likes talking about things that are lewd, but she doesn't like being seen that way. A few months ago now, she accused me of trying to do something lewd with Ryou when there was no indication of that happening." He shrugged. "That doesn't really matter, though. Did your parents not answer when you asked why people do it?"

"I didn't think of asking. They said it was when people loved each other, but, well, that got me a little confused, because I love them-"

"There's a little more to it than that." He thought of what Sasaki told him and decided the Furukawa's might have given her the exact opposite perspective. _If she really thinks it's just a matter of feelings, she's not going to get it._ "Do you, I don't know, find some guys more attractive than others?"

"Of course," Nagisa said after a pause. "Where are you going with that?"

"Okay, and when you look at an attractive guy, do you... feel any different?" He looked around her to see if any customers were coming, but he expected about as little as were showing up, which was none.

"I mean... different how? I would not know what you are describing."

"Well, I wouldn't know what it feels like for you." _What kind of physical changes do girls usually- no, I can't ask about that. Not even if I wanted to be lewd, that's just too far._ "I'm sure that if you keep an eye out, you'll know what it is sooner or later. It might be something you didn't expect." She nodded, oddly enough.

"That makes sense. How do you feel when you see an attractive girl?" she asked.

"Uhh... I mean, it's not every time, but there's definitely a physical response." He looked around again. "It's why I can be reasonably certain that my response would be different from yours." He felt like Kyou would be laughing, at least internally.

"Okay, well, I'll have to keep that in mind. What kind of girls do you find attractive?" Nagisa wondered, looking over the counter to the workspace just behind.

"It's- I haven't actually thought about it all that much, but I guess I like a few different kinds of girls." She frowned a little, making a 90 degree turn to the right. "How is that my fault?"

"It's not. It just makes it harder to hold onto you." She cast a sidelong glance. "What kinds of girls?"

"Well, you're the cute type, and if you want me to be honest, I guess I was attracted to Kyou because she was passionate. Sakagami was a little of both, but, well, I don't think I've seen you get a chance to develop on your passions." He had a strange thought about the theater club. _Was she supposed to join a theater club? What was the problem with that again? Why did she end up joining the chorus?_

"I guess you're right about that. I was in the theater club the year before we really met, but you wouldn't have seen the play we put on."

"Why not?" It looked like she did not want to answer.

"It wasn't mandatory..." A brief silence passed between them.

"Damn. Sorry, I forgot I used to skip everything like that. I should be apologizing for skipping in the first place-"

"It's okay. I didn't really have a lot of creative control that year, but I was okay with that. No one else really liked my idea for a play anyway."

"What was it?"

"I admit it was weird. Even Kimura was probably just being nice..."

"Just tell me about it."

Nagisa took a deep breath.

"There's this girl who lives all alone in this world that's getting covered in snow. She has to get out of there, sooner or later, but mostly she just wants to find someone else because it's so lonely." He waited for her to continue, but she did not.

"So it's more focused on the character than the plot?"

"Not really. She doesn't say all that much about herself. I... had the idea from this dream I have every so often."

"I guess I can sympathize."

"Well, your dreams are different. At least your dreams tell you something."

"They do, but I don't know what they're telling me. If you're having some kind of recurring dream and it's this vague scenario that's meaningful to you, that sounds like a normal dream. What makes it special to you?" he asked, not trying to patronize her. _It's probably not easy to admit to basing her play idea on a dream, and then explaining what it is._

"I don't know. The fact that I've had it so many times, though... it has to mean something."

"How often do you have it?"

"I've had it about once a year, when I have my worst day." _She's talking about when she's sick._ "It's hard to say this, but it's when I feel like I'm closest to dying."

"Doesn't that make it a sad story?" he asked, unable to react to the content of her words.

"I guess so. I don't think it's about anything happening in real life, though, because it's the same every year. It's just about... how I feel. I know it sounds like a really dark thing to use as a subject matter, but I've always seen it this way."

_Nagisa is used to the idea of her death being imminent._

"I guess your idea of it would be different from mine. Do you want to see me butcher a chicken?" She shook her head rapidly. "You're a real hypocrite, you know."

He did not really have to butcher anything, but it would serve to check on the locker. As it was being reset, the meat inside would probably expire soon. _Well, that gives me an idea._

"What do you want to do for lunch?" he asked after a pause. "We don't have to stay in the shop every minute of the day."

"Can we go home?" she asked. "Sometimes it seems like my parents miss having you over. I know you didn't want to impose-"

"Your old man threw me out," he explained. "I'm not upset by that, though. I've even got a gift for them both."

He took a sizeable amount of meat out of the locker. _They don't need to know that we had to get rid of it somehow._ His girlfriend's eyes widened.

"Are you sure it's okay to give them that much?"

"Yeah. There were a few times I said I'd go shopping or something, but I never really did, so I felt like I wasn't pulling my weight. Then I broke the hot plate, but that's another story."

"How did that happen?"

"Well, neither of us really wanted to tell you or your mother. I know you would have said it was unfair, but I think his words were that fair doesn't enter into it," he explained as they walked outside with the meat packages. _Shouldn't spoil on the way there or anything._

"Is it because of the gang thing?"

"Yeah. It was mostly wrapped up, at that point, but the night it happened I didn't expect it at all. It was enough reason to believe that something might happen to the bakery again, and it was because the gang knew I lived there."

"People showed up at the bakery? When?"

"Not that long ago, all things considered. It was the night of the morning I moved out to go live with Ao and Harada. I think it was just one or two guys, and your father handled them by himself, but that was basically enough for him. He probably knew they weren't there to attack the bakery; they just wanted revenge on me. They were probably after you."

"They knew about me?" Nagisa asked, stopping in the street. He took her by the wrist as if to pull her across, but really he was just reminding her to walk.

"They knew I lived with you. They probably figured there was something between us based on how we're not related." _Either that or Sasaki told them._ "At any rate, I don't think any place has been attacked since then, but your old man was probably still right. The fact that they've given up their extortion game doesn't mean they're not trying to attack people for personal reasons."

The girl's arms went around him from behind before they separated and he turned around.

"You left our house just to protect me?"

"I don't know if it worked. I really don't know if it would have worked." He sighed. "Don't give me too much credit. I was the one who put you in danger in the first place."

They walked the rest of the way in silence, finding both of the other Furukawas at the bakery when they arrived. He already had enough information to suggest they had no reason to continue the twenty four hour cycle they had been doing before, which was probably hard on both of them. They had a decidedly mixed reaction to Tomoya and Nagisa walking together toward the shop, but that was to be expected. Akio pulled his daughter aside as his wife helped load up the refrigerator.

"There's so much," she commented. "Are you sure it's alright to give this to us?"

"It's my way of saying thanks for having me so long."

"We were happy to have you." _Most of the time, yes._

"Well, I guess I've gotten kind of proud of the fact that I've paid for a mortgage now, so I think I'll be staying there for a while."

"Do your friends have any plans to have children?"

"They said something about not doing that just yet. I honestly think they really can't afford it, and even if they could, there were a few things they wanted to do first." _The only reason Yasui was allowed to get married in the first place was because she agreed to take music classes to pursue a career. If she does get pregnant, her parents seem to want her to be safe and responsible about it, but they would prefer that she focuses on her own future first._ As weird as it was to think about his friends getting married, it was even weirder to think about them having children, and he was grateful for their restraint in that regard.

Sanae gave him a knowing smile as they got lunch ready, though most of what he did was set the table. The kids she taught were still in the house, so he guessed he could keep from making lewd jokes with Nagisa- _Wait, I should have considered her parents first._

They ate with a mindfulness of the hour, since both of the older Furukawas had to get back to their respective duties, and they knew he was due to return to his, but it was well that they could have some time every day when they did not expect customers. The four of them talked of normal things, of bills, of work, of school, and of life. When he left with his girlfriend, he guessed they figured since he was running the same kind of business they were, he had the same kind of schedule. He did not absolutely have to open over the weekend, but most of his days were low-activity, so he hardly needed the rest that would come with closing. Honda was probably the same way.

"Hey, Tomoya."

"Yeah?"

"I didn't realize you were worried about me back then."

"I didn't tell you. I didn't want you losing sleep over it." _I also didn't want you to leave me._

"There was a young man who came by the bakery one day. Was he Sasaki? Was he waiting for you to get up so he could threaten you?" Not for the first time, he cursed her ability to figure things out.

"Yeah, that's basically what happened. He had me followed home one day; probably figured I couldn't just be living on my own. Even if I did, they might have just attacked me in my sleep. I don't think they would've killed me, just kept me from coming in to work the night shift."

"I don't get it," she said, looking a bit frustrated. "Why were they so focused on you? Why couldn't they just attack some other store?"

"I fought them and they had to make an example out of me. Sasaki basically believes in rule by fear, or respect as he would put it. I didn't respect him because I could kick the shit out of a few of his guys, and that made me his enemy. I'm sure he was collecting money from the other businesses in the area; maybe some of them were willing to fight; I don't know. Do you see most people responding with a cleaver when a handful of jerks show up to break things?"

"No. I feel like most people would just try not to get involved if it happened to someone else."

"I think that's why they singled me out. Their leader said that the country's full of- well, he didn't think anyone would put up a fight. I guess he took an interest."

"That was how you knew about Mitsui."

"He did a lot of boasting about how easy it was. I don't doubt he's probably slept with more than his fair share of girls; he offered me the picture of one I said I recognized to prove it." Almost immediately he decided he should not have said as much.

"That seems like a risk, though."

"I guess it does, in retrospect, but he's kind of a cocky jerk-"

"He would have thought about it if he were clever enough to follow you home. How did he know you wouldn't use the picture against him? Didn't it have his DNA on it?"

"I mean, maybe, maybe not, really the only thing I could think of was tricking Mitsui into thinking I could prove more than I actually could." He sighed. _I should really be honest with her._ "He wanted me to join him. He was pretty confident that in twenty four hours, I'd be on his side, and it'd all be water under the bridge."

"You didn't want to, though."

"He's still have your location as a hostage no matter what I said. I hated the guy's guts anyway, and I didn't want to live in the same kind of world. It made me think a lot about how the world might change in ways I can't expect or control, but I don't have to help it along." They were at the butcher shop. Not for the first time, he was glad it had not been attacked while he was gone.

"Their target was... me?" Nagisa asked. "You said they knew where I lived..." As little as he liked it, he knew it was already too late to keep her from reaching the logical conclusion. "Tomoya... did Sasaki threaten that he would..." He knew he could not, at the very least, let her finish the sentence, so he just nodded quickly as the two of them went inside. _There goes that idea._


	75. Attraction

There was a silence.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Nagisa asked at last. She was more confused than anything else.

"What would you have done?"

"When you told me you needed Mitsui for something, I thought you were telling me everything, or as much as you knew. You told me you might die, and I might have to run- I was so afraid already, I thought you just couldn't afford to keep things from me any longer, no matter how terrible it was." She had made her way around the counter. "Why didn't daddy tell me anything?" she asked, perhaps only speaking to herself, perhaps to the void.

"I don't blame your father for anything, at least in that regard. You didn't need to know what could have happened to you. I think he and I are both aware how much something like that would scare you." He put his arms around her, having set his tools down. "I don't know if your mother knew. I really don't think she would have told you, though."

"He wouldn't have told her," she said, smiling slightly. He could not see her face, but he felt it against his chest. "He wouldn't have had to. I think you're right, though, I think she just chose not to tell me."

Tomoya thought back to how Sasaki had been waiting outside and Sanae had told the supper table about him. _Did she know then? She would have acted like she knew nothing about why he was there in front of him... maybe she really was protecting Nagisa._

"You're okay now. No one's after you." She looked up at him as he tried to reassure her.

"You don't get it. I was never that worried about myself. I was worried about you..." Her fingers pressed against his back. "If that had happened to me... right after I lost you... I wouldn't have to be sick, Tomoya. That would be it for me." Somehow he could tell there was no exaggeration there as he held her tightly.

"I just couldn't let anything happen to you," he said. "I did everything I could do and I just had to hope it would be enough- if you wanted to be told, I'm sorry, but I still wouldn't have told you."

"You let me get mad at you for the way you treated Mitsui," she said, sniffling a little. "You could have told me why. I can't promise I would have taken it well-" He hugged her again as if to keep her from talking.

"I think what we should take away from this is how much we feel for each other," he whispered. "It really is over."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Sasaki's off to Russia or something. He might have been lying about where he was going, but he was definitely admitting defeat. Remember how I said that everything was some kind of sick gentleman's game for him? When you lose, you lose. It's petty and not respectable to get revenge on the winner." Holding his girlfriend, he felt a little more like a winner than he had when he won. He had been able to take a little pride in beating the gang members both times they got into the store, but if the end result was that the one closest to him kept her distance, even if she was alright it still was only a bittersweet conclusion.

"How did you get so strong?" she asked. "I know you probably think the world of me because I've had this condition for most of my life, but... I just don't know how you could do that. You had to fight people, right?"

"There's nothing special about me. I've thought about it, and basically a strong man is just a man with his priorities straightened out. If you only want one thing, you never have any hesitation, you never have any indecision, and all your choices become easy. Ever since we kissed in the park, I feel like all my choices have been so straightforward they didn't really feel like choices."

"What do you want?" she asked quietly. _She just wants to hear me say it._

"You." They were kissing again, and he picked her up, setting her down on the table behind him. There were a few things on it, but nothing that served as a suitable obstacle as she released her tense hold on his shoulders and moved her hands to his chest. His own hands moved up her back to her shoulders. It was the longest his lips had been locked with anyone's, but it felt like only a few moments had passed before they separated.

"That's enough for you, Tomoya," Nagisa said, pushing against his chest a little. "I'm not sure I'm ready for you to... push me against this table." It was the most heavily loaded statement he had heard from her lips so far. He could not detect the most prominent emotion in her mind.

"I wasn't just going to-"

"I know." They looked at each other a moment. "I hate being short sometimes."

"You're not that short."

"I know, but I can't just kiss you whenever." _Well, you're not bold enough anyway-_ She kissed him on the forehead. "Until you put me on this table, I definitely could not have done that. Can I please get down?"

He realized that, in the most technical terms, only because her knees would have been in the way, he was technically standing between her legs. Backing off slightly, he let her get down from the table, careful not to look at her skirt in the process. It did not escape his notice that she generally liked wearing skirts, even when not in school, unlike Kyou, who seemed to prefer jeans, but that fit her general character. _I wonder what Miyazawa wears apart from her uniform._ It occurred to him for some reason he had actually seen her a good bit out of school, but never in anything else.

"Oh, I forgot to ask, have you talked to Sakagami recently?" he asked.

"She's been pretty busy with all her responsibilities as president. Since I know you will ask, most of those are self-imposed." He felt like he could laugh, but he only smiled. _I hope that's one of the choices that I never regret. At least she doesn't seem to want to make me regret it._

"That's what I expected. What all does she do?"

"She put in a new attendance system, where truant students are rewarded for coming back."

"Hmm."

"There's a new rule that says if you report other rulebreaker, and that person actually turns out to be guilty of breaking some sort of rule, you get out of your punishment."

"Hmm."

"I think if you get kicked off a sports team, you can appeal the decision with the disciplinary committee-"

"Wait that one's Sunohara; I never told her I got removed from the basketball team." _At least I don't think I did._

"Well, I think she might have based most of her policies off you, but you weren't the only slacker." Her eyes dropped. "You weren't always a slacker, though."

"I know." He patted her on the head. "You were right about that. I really did see myself like that. I never really thought anyone would see me as anything else."

Nagisa looked back at him.

"Well, I never thought anyone would see me as anyone but a girl who was always sick and missing school."

Tomoya did not answer for a moment. _For a while I guess I really did see her that way. She didn't see me as just a delinquent, though, not even when I wouldn't have minded._

To his moderate surprise, there was a customer coming and his girlfriend decided she had to hide, jumping into the meat locker. _Great. Every time the damn door opens-_

"Did someone just go into the meat locker?" the patron asked. It was Koumura, the ancient literature teacher.

"Yes," he said as though that were an everyday thing. "What would you like, sir?"

"You've gotten a good bit more polite ever since you got a job," the old man said. "It's a good turn for you." _I was always nice to him, but I probably didn't give him the respect a teacher deserves._

"I think it helps," he said, looking around absently.

"Well, I would just like some ground chicken. There's a small, traditional dish I like to make every so often."

"Oh, I see." _Must be someone who doesn't go for meat all the time. We get people like that; can't really be called regulars, but they still show up._ One time when he had been feeling ambitious, he talked to Honda about exporting or even just getting involved with a shipping service, but apparently it was not worth the financial risk to get into that kind of business.

He gave the man a kilo of the meat without it having to be specified, since that was what most people requested anyway; it worked for most dishes given the perishability of meat in general. _How did I become some kind of expert on what goes into cooking? Are we just responding to the demand market that much?_

Thanking the teacher as he paid and walked out, he had to explain that Honda was taking a few vacation days before the old man was out of sight. Opening the meat locker, Nagisa was shivering. She threw her arms around his midsection as soon as he closed the door behind her.

"Damn, you're really cold." _I should probably say something else._ "Probably don't hide in the meat locker next time we have a customer."

"Aren't you not supposed to have me here?"

"No one's going to call my boss and tell him I was passing the time with you. Oh, that reminds me of a way to warm you up." Nagisa frowned as she pushed off him, shaking off the shivers.

"When you say something lewd like that, from now on I'll know you're being serious."

"Wait- did you not think I found you attractive?" he asked to her turned back. She whirled around immediately.

"Those aren't the same thing-" she attempted. "Just because you think I'm cute doesn't mean-" She put her palms to her temples. "Wait does every guy who sees me just want to-"

"I mean, if you gave him the chance, he wouldn't turn you down." _She's probably used to her parents calling her cute. When guys refer to her the same way, she didn't realize they have any amount of sexual interest in her._ "Would you rather it be any different?"

It looked like she was really thinking about it. He had no intention to rush her. _I guess that is one way of sheltering your kid, just get her to interpret everything as being super innocent. I'm not sure how much of that was intentional, though. Just by being nice people with positive outlooks all the time, they probably set her expectations really high._

"I guess not. If I didn't want to be seen as attractive, I could probably just be as normal as possible... but then there would still be guys who liked that- I wouldn't want to not bathe or dress like a maniac, and not just because I want guys to like me-"

"I believe you."

"It's not really a bad thing that guys want that as long as they don't do it, I guess," Nagisa resumed as if uninterrupted, pacing back and forth behind the display counter. "It would be unfair for me to expect them not to want to do something. I know I could not stop wanting another season of Big Dango Family to air-" she stopped short. "It's a good show, alright?"

"All right."

"I guess it makes it less special that you like me like that..."

"Did you really think I was the only guy who found you attractive?"

"Not really... I mean, I didn't think that was the same thing as wanting to..."

"Well, it wouldn't be, not for you. And now that I'm with you, I don't want to do that sort of thing with other girls, because then I would lose you." It looked like she was about to be upset about that, but she turned around with a hand to her chin to think some more. "It's not like I see other people any differently. That wouldn't make any sense. It's just that you're more important to me than anyone else." He put an arm around her. "You're also really pretty."

"Umm... thank you."

As he took care of some minor chores it occurred to him that she might have only ever seen married men refer to their wives as attractive, because it was in poor taste to refer to other women as attractive, especially if they were married as well. _I guess she and I both live in a really polite society. I can't see this town being that different from most other towns in Japan, so maybe that's basically the standard. That's what I've heard, anyway._

He took a call from some semi-young guy who seemed to expect him to know what he wanted already, but he went ahead and said that if he took the delivery on foot, it would take upwards of forty minutes for the delivery to arrive. The caller sighed and said it was okay. He looked toward Nagisa.

"Is that a delivery?"

"Yeah. We're walking it." They went out the door. He scanned the horizon and decided they would be back before dark.

"Do you normally walk deliveries?"

"No, but Honda took his car. I get why you'd own one if you ran your own business. I guess it's convenient sometimes."

"Have you ever walked a delivery?"

"No."

"How did you know how much time it would take to get there?"

"Well, if I have the place right, it'll put us right next to a warehouse where the Miyazawa gang had a fight with the Sasaki gang." Already it seemed like ancient history.

"Were you helping Yukine?"

"Yeah. I think that time I really did pull off something good because Sakagami ended up with a chunk of territory around the school, so it's a safer place now. I'll go ahead and assume she disappears from time to time."

"I'm not always with her, so I don't know. It's not all that often."

"Huh." _I guess maybe her approach to fix the truancy problem is probably reducing the impact of the gangs anyway. It did seem like she didn't really want to fight._

"Did you get hurt?"

"I got a little roughed up, but most of the bruises were on my chest, so I don't think anyone would have seen them. It's all water under the bridge now."

They walked in silence for a moment before Nagisa spoke again.

"I bet you're glad you're out of high school."

"I think I remember looking forward to it. There were times I wanted to just get away from everything and everyone, and now that nothing's exploding, I start to miss all my old friends."

"Maybe you like the explosions," she suggested, smiling.

"I guess it was a good change of pace from thinking everything was boring and stagnant because I never did anything. Did I ever tell you I thought about moving to Sapporo? I didn't know anyone who lived there, and I definitely didn't live there in the visions."

"Silly." The girl had her eyes closed, and had moved a sleeved hand to her mouth.

"What?"

"You would have just made new friends there and helped them." Tomoya could provide no evidence to the contrary.

"Sometimes I think that would have been okay, because I still would not have had dreams about their future."

"Was it that bad?"

"The future? It wasn't like a nuclear apocalypse or anything. I could just tell that something terrible had happened. I was drinking a lot and living alone. I didn't see my father anywhere, so it could have been after his death. I wasn't who I wanted to be."

"Well, that's a problem you could fix right now."

"Huh?"

"You don't need visions to control your own future. You just need to make decisions."

"I know that, it's just I'm trying to put myself as far as possible from what could have happened- it might have been something beyond my control, like because I moved into an apartment, I ran into somebody who just decided to ruin my life."

"I mean, neither of us know what happened. If we knew what happened that made everything so terrible, we could definitely prevent it more effectively."

"Then why-"

"It's because no matter what happens, you can always decide how you respond to it. You don't have to turn into someone you don't want to be."

It was one of his worst fears, at least now that he thought of it. Changing would be like being dead and having someone else take over his body or something. He knew that people changed sometimes, and he knew that he had changed a little since high school, but that had all been his choosing. _I guess I can choose not to change if I want. I really hope I can._

"I'll keep that in mind."


	76. Burdens

It appeared the guy who answered the door was getting ready for some kind of house party, and was probably not excited to be receiving the meat so close to the deadline, but he was polite enough to pay the reduced tip anyway. Tomoya thanked him for his patronage, ignoring his expression. Nagisa had something on her mind.

"Did that guy think you took too long? He seemed... a bit rude."

"I don't know; he might just be rude. I said upwards of forty minutes, but I peered at a clock inside and it couldn't have been much more than thirty five. I'm pretty sure he's just got a tight schedule."

"Well, he doesn't have to take that out on you." He was starting to suspect that this was really supposed to be a lesson for him. _Yeah, I used to be really rude, but that was mostly before I started interacting with Nagisa._

"I mean, no, but it's expected. To an extent, everyone kind of treats people a little differently based on their moods. It's not really what they should do, but I guess most people don't really do what they should do."

"I don't do that," she objected. It sounded like she was refraining from raising her voice, even though she was frustrated with the way he was rationalizing bad behavior.

"Well, no, you don't. That's why I just said most people."

"I'm not that unique. Anyone can do what I do."

"Well, that's what makes you unique, then," he decided, not really thinking about it. "Anyone could do it, but only you care enough." He shook his head a little. "I really barely even mind it because that's just the way it is; I've understood that ever since my father started coming home drunk every so often and bringing all his problems up all the time. That's another thing. People don't really want you to talk about your problems, because then they have to think about them. I guess they shouldn't mind having to think about them, but, I mean, just imagine you're on the train and some thirty something baseball player's going to a chiropractor to see if he can get a few more years in the minor leagues or something. What are you going to do about it if he tells you?"

"I would be a good listening ear," Nagisa decided. "I think that's what people want most of the time they bring their problems up around an anonymous high school girl." _Okay, she has a point, I guess._

"Okay, but, would you rather have that happen or not have that happen?" There was a pause.

"I would rather people not have problems, but if they do have problems, then I would like to hear about them, even if I can't do anything about them." She stared straight ahead for a moment. "Is that a worry of yours? Not being able to solve people's problems?"

"I know there are plenty of times when people don't want help, but if someone did, and I just couldn't do it, then yeah, I wouldn't feel too good about that."

"Why? If you can't do anything about it, how are you responsible for it?" _I can't tell if that's a real question or if she's just thinking about what I'm thinking._

"I'm not, it just weighs on me. I don't like feeling bad for people when I don't have to feel bad for them." Tomoya could reasonably guess they were both familiar with ads trying to guilt them into donating to something, and he guessed his empathetic girlfriend was probably on a list for life, but he wondered how she responded to them. "Do you ever see ads about like human trafficking or something-"

"Oh, I don't really watch tv. My parents used to call me whenever _Big Dango Family_ was on, but ever since then there was nothing else I wanted to watch." _Yeah, more like your father decided to shelter you and tried to represent the rest of the world of television as boring adult stuff._

"Well, there are ads about basically every kind of humanitarian problem, a few things about animal welfare, and basically it's all set to the tune of sad music and these organizations ask for money." It seemed like Nagisa was imagining it.

"Oh. I don't have a lot of money."

"Well, sure, but I bet they'd be happy to have a bit." He was aware that in other places around the world there was a substantial homelessness problem. The asset price bubble made things worse about ten years earlier, but it was still pretty rare to actually see people on the streets. _Even if it'd do wonders for my argument if this even counts as an argument, I'm still kind of glad Nagisa's never had someone begging for change._ "Where I was going with that is that basically when a lot of people see these ads, a lot of times they just change the channel or something. It's not really, I don't know, noble, but people in general don't like having to feel bad for other people with problems."

"I suppose if they did donate, the ads would continue," the girl walking next to him reasoned. "Wouldn't they feel better about it, though? Wouldn't that immunize them from feeling bad for the... people in the ad?"

"Well, yeah, but judging by how these organizations don't have half the money in the world, most people decide to avoid feeling bad by just ignoring it." Somehow his mind went back to Sasaki talking about people ignoring problems rather than confronting them. _Well, that's lacking courage, not lacking an infinite amount of money. Aren't those things different?_

"That's moral cowardice," Nagisa decided. "If they don't want to donate to whatever it is, they should at least have to see the consequences of their inaction."

"That's the human race." _Well, I'll throw the human race a bone._ "I'm not sure the consequences would be all that great if they did donate, though."

"How come?"

"Well, I thought about it a little while ago, when I realized I was technically in the food service industry. I tried to figure out what it would take to feed the world, but I realized I didn't answer simple questions like 'for how long' or 'how would people respond'. If you fed everyone who was currently alive today, a lot of them who wouldn't normally have children would, and then the amount of food you were handing out would have to go up. At some point you'd have to buy exponentially more food to give away, and there's no reason the amount of money you could take in for the project would go up. I can't imagine anyone in disaster stricken countries would start farms if everyone got free food all the time; they wouldn't be able to sell the product."

"Hmm... do people ultimately consume more than they produce?" Nagisa asked. _Having been through senior year twice already, she's probably way ahead of me academically. She's asking some interesting questions for someone who's not interested in the subject._

"Well, they might, but they might not. In terms of the environment, we're consumers, and so we just have to limit our consumption somehow or we'll destroy the ecosystem. I guess in a more economic sense, do people take from others more than they give would be the question. And I would think, in Japan, the vast majority of people give more than they receive. People who just take from others usually feel bad about being a burden- with some exceptions."

When he just started high school, he noticed there were a small amount of guys who seemed to have no interest in anything other than comics and videogames, and there was time he might have turned out like one of them. _If I didn't have my father, I probably would have. I always thought something like 'at least he works and takes care of his responsibilities'._

"Am I a burden?" Nagisa asked, looking down a little.

"Well, when you're a kid, you are by default. That's just how it is; kids can't do anything."

"I know, but, don't most kids at least help out a little-"

"It's not your fault you get sick and have to stay in bed, Nagisa. If it makes you feel any better, I basically never helped out even when I could, which was all the time. I kept my own room in order, but that was only so I could make the old man look bad by comparison."

"I guess that means my parents give more than they get."

"Well, in terms of money, yes, but please remember that some things can't be quantified-"

"I know. I know; I just can't help but feel like I'm..." He would have let her finish, but she trailed off.

"Both of your parents have told me in private that you were the best thing to ever happen to them," he said quietly, noticing they were getting back to the butcher shop. There was a customer waiting and he took care of her right away, not wanting to think about how long it had been. She gave no sign of impatience, so he was optimistic, but there were other concerns on his mind.

"I know they love me," his girlfriend said. "I... guess I have to believe they're grateful to have me." She looked around. "Sorry for getting us off subject."

"It wasn't that far off subject," he mitigated. "Like I said, I don't really hold it against people if they're sick or children or whatever else." He thought about it some more. "I also don't really hold it against girls who want to get married and take care of the house and kids. They're definitely doing something, it's just that there's no need for any transactions to take place over the work itself."

"Huh. Are you saying you wouldn't mind if I did that?" He briefly imagined coming home from work and finding Nagisa getting supper ready as the kids ran down the stairs before cajoling them about running in the house.

"Well, no, not if you were fine with-" She was smiling. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, really, what?"

"Well, you just admitted that you want to marry me. It makes me happy."

"I- uh, I haven't given that a whole lot of thought. I've thought about like the next few years and I definitely like you-" Nagisa put her arms around him momentarily.

"I like you too. I want it to be a surprise, but I'm glad it's on the table." _If she wants it to be a surprise, maybe I shouldn't talk any more about it. How am I going to get her a damn ring, though?_

Somehow the more life-altering aspects of marriage and starting a new family seemed totally sorted by comparison. It seemed that as long as they were happy together, then it made sense, though there was this odd feeling of unease, something he had not noticed in a long time. _When was the last time? When we were helping Fuko get the wedding straightened out? Is it from then? Or is it from the other timeline?_

Nagisa did not hide herself when the next customer came in, perhaps because there was no point after the last one saw her. If she noticed that he had been walking a little slower than he might have in order to accommodate her, he hoped she did not feel like a burden just because of that, since he doubted it had any effect at the end of the day, and he liked talking to her.

When at last the end of the day came, he walked Nagisa home after locking up the store, satisfied with her promises that her work for the weekend was already done. She had never been a slacker on his level, or really anywhere near there, but it would be easy for her to get overconfident. If she were half as bad at managing her memories as he was at managing his own, she would probably mix up the current year's material with that of the last.

"Remember, you're beating Sakagami this year. You don't have any excuse not to."

"Aww..." she complained. "I hadn't even thought of that. I'm two years older than she is and I've seen almost all of the material twice. I'm supposed to have an insurmountable advantage..."

"It's okay, you'll pull out ahead."

"Don't you see how hard this is, though? If I win, everyone will say it was expected, and that I shouldn't be gloating-" Tomoya laughed. It was hard to imagine his girlfriend gloating. _More likely, it'll be Akio doing that with Sanae chiding him from behind, hiding her own amusement._

"It's okay. Sakagami's really smart, but most of what puts her on top of the pack is how hard she tries. Most kids just try hard enough to get their parents off their backs, hard enough to get into a good program, you get the idea. I honestly don't think there is a hard enough for her."

"Does she realize her dreams?" Nagisa asked.

"Most of them, I think. I've only had one dream with her in it." As they reached the door of the bakery, she had a left-out look and he reminded himself to remind her at some point that just because he had not dreamt of her, did not mean he did not think she was special. Something else came to mind, however.

"Oh, I was about to say- we can't have you over for dinner, because my parents have some friends from a long time ago coming over."

"That makes sense. I wasn't really expecting to spend the whole day and night with you." He leaned forward. "That would just be too perfect."

"Stop making everything lewd..." she demanded in the least demanding voice he had heard out of her. "I'll see you later."

"See you."

He walked off, remembering something he had wanted to do a little while ago. _I'm not too far, I guess. It's closer to go from here than from the house._ Crossing the street, he waved to an electrical worker who was too high up to be identified. _Maybe I'll just wave to all of them._

Eventually reaching the appropriate house, he knocked on the door.

"Oh, hello, Okazaki, we just finished supper."

"That's what I expected," he answered, smiling a little. "How is Kotomi doing? I don't know who else would know."

"She's doing well," her adoptive mother said as she invited him inside. It was too optimistic to hope there would be a pot of tea on. "She called just a few hours ago."

"Oh, I just missed her," he bemoaned, not too concerned. _Even if I had been expecting to talk to her, which would be ridiculous, I'd have no idea what to say to her._ "How are her studies?"

"Oh, she studies things neither of us understand," the old man said. "She went over our heads the first time she called, but after that she just told her about what life was like. You wouldn't believe how spacious the hallways are."

"I guess when a ton of guys are over two meters tall it makes sense," he ventured. "There's also supposed to be a ton of fat people, though."

"Yeah, maybe they thought of that as well," Kotomi's adoptive father supposed. _I guess it was kind of a rude comment, but that's how it is, isn't it?_ "How have you been doing, son?"

"Oh, well, I've got a job as a butcher's assistant; I don't know if I told you. I moved into a house with two of my friends. They're married now, but I don't think they'll be having kids for a while."

"That's great to hear. Well, not the part about... Our daughter's been living in an apartment with another exchange student and they're getting along, though she's from China." Tomoya chuckled. He was aware that to some people, as odd as it was to him, everyone in East Asia looked the same. _I mix up countries in Europe sometimes, I guess. Once you get east of Germany, does it really matter?_

"I'm glad they're getting along. Does she like it there?"

"She says that it's weird, but it's exactly as she imagined, but different at the same time." _What did she expect, the unexpected?_

"Huh. I guess she's staying for a while?" he asked, thinking about the dream. All of a sudden he remembered why he wanted to avoid his old friends. _There were a few near-misses there, a few times I almost confused the future with what was going on around me-_

"She'll definitely be there as long as she's in school, though she'll come home every time they have a break."

"That's great to hear. I'll be by to visit some time in the future, and I hope by then my life is a little more interesting," he said, getting up. He was having a weird feeling again, and it felt like it was better to just excuse himself than find out what it was the hard way.


	77. A Familiar Name

Tomoya remembered he was wrong to expect Ao's parents to be visiting as he got back to the house, eating some cold rice out of the fridge. _He's an orphan. That's probably part of the reason Yasui's parents are so apprehensive about him. They can't get any idea about who he is except from him._

It was to his moderate surprise that he actually saw no one as he went in. He shrugged the abnormality off, thinking they could be out somewhere together, but he would probably ask later, just to sate his curiosity. Quietly he supposed they could both be in bed, but without any indication of that, they could not blame him for making noise. He set himself to exercising quietly on the off chance someone could hear him and got to bed. Honda would not be at the shop in the morning, but it helped to be on time.

Morning brought with it this odd feeling in his stomach, but he could ignore it. He was young and he generally never got sick, so he was not particularly worried if he felt something off here and there. Almost all the time it turned out to be nothing. There was a yellow cat crossing the street and he thought of Sagara, whom he had not been able to help to any great degree, though evidently it counted.

At the butchery he opened as always, going through his morning tasks as some of the early bird customers showed up. A couple of them asked for Honda, though Tomoya just shook his head and said he was out. Out of the three he had that morning, there was only one who turned around and just left. _The rest of them probably figure they came all this way and they might as well buy something._ It made him feel like the switch part of the classic bait and switch.

"Hi, Okazaki." He looked up to see Yoshino-sensei.

"Good morning. How is Fuko doing?" he asked, half-hoping she had woken up already, if for no other reason than to contradict his dream. _That might be how I know I've made it past the calamity. If she would have woken up at a certain point one way or another..._

"She's fine. I know she has only been resting, and it may seem strange to anyone who has not cared for a comatose patient, but she seems more peaceful now." He nodded. _I've got some idea why that might be._

It had been a while since he had last seen her, or her spirit, but he had elected to keep that secret as long as he could, even though technically the matter had passed. It would only disturb her sister to learn that Fuko had really been wandering the halls of the school. _How's she supposed to respond to that? What would a normal person do differently? Pick up a teaching job?_

"You look a little lost in thought," the former teacher said.

"That's what people have been telling me. Are you due soon? I haven't been able to keep track of the months since... well, I'm not sure when." Yoshino-sensei only smiled.

"You must be busy. Our child should be born this winter, though we're not counting down the days. There's a lot to do before then." _She's not going to get her job back before the kid comes out. Probably not for a few months after that at least._

"Are you celebrating something?" he asked, thinking it might be their anniversary, though really he had no idea.

"No, it's just one of my pregnancy cravings." She smiled. _She's got an oddly open way of talking about this kind of thing._ "I think I'll have something red and lean."

He gave her a kilo of some trimmed steaks, not knowing what she was going to do with it. He had some idea she liked simple things, but there was no way of saying if that translated to cuisine at all. She thanked him politely and paid with exact change. _Huh. She must have been here before._

Not for the first time, he found himself wondering as she left what had happened during the day when he was on the night shift. Honda had told him about as little as he wanted to hear back, so really anything could have happened, but he guessed if it had been important, it would have been brought up at some point. There was a lull until lunch, when he decided to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things to take back to the house, which would hopefully make up for just making himself at home. Having had a look at the fridge, he had some idea of what they needed and picked up vegetables and some dry beans, remembering they still had about half a bag of rice, which would last them a few weeks at least. Going home quickly, he ate a carrot and some rice, thinking it was a wonder he managed to be a bachelor even with a lady in the house.

As he went back to the butchery, he thought about how it helped to pack leftovers for lunch, but he was not pressed for time today, not expecting any kind of crowd. He was therefore surprised to find no fewer than three customers had come into the store. _They don't seem to be related at all._

"Excuse me, I was on lunch break."

"That's understandable. Aren't there normally two of you?"

"He's not here today. He should be back soon." _As far as I know, it really does count as a surprise for most of his customers. I understand he almost never took a vacation before this._

Tomoya took their orders as they came in and did his best to get them all exactly right. He was used to having one customer at a time, and he was also used to people asking for something from the display rather than making him go into the locker to cut up ham hocks. _At least I can make another donation to the house's food supply when I check out today._

He could wish all he liked that people would see him as perfectly capable of doing the job, but really he had to admit the butcher was going to be better at it under all circumstances. At some point or another the older man would start to forget what he knew about the trade, but until then, it made sense to ask for him when your alternative was a young man barely out of high school. _Funny how that works. Police officers basically see me as a man. My former teachers aren't likely to see me as an equal for years, though, if they ever do._

By some bizarre coincidence, his next customer was a police officer, and he asked if there was anything to be said about the counterfeit money he reported a while back. The officer gave him a look that suggested he had no idea such a case existed. Charitably, Tomoya guessed he had nothing to do with the case.

There were no customers until the housewives showed up for the late afternoon rush, and that was about it after that. _Can't call it a slow day with all the business right around lunch._ He wondered if Honda would have predicted the seemingly unusual arrangement of customers. Putting the last of the revenue into the register, he realized he had none of his own at the exact moment, and hoped it would be a little while before Nagisa wanted to go out on a date again. She was not, by any stretch of the imagination, the type who had to be treated like a queen, but he could tell she felt valued whenever he took her somewhere, even to a ramen stand. Knowing her a bit better than he did at the time, he guessed their first date was essentially perfect, since he could afford it and she liked family restaurants so much.

"Well, that's what every girl wants, right?" he muttered to himself as he swept the place up. He wanted to go back at some point, because he wanted to see how Sugisaka and Nishina were doing, but he guessed that could wait. _Nagisa understands that a lot of my friends are girls, but it's best not to push it._

For whatever reason, the butcher took a newspaper to the shop every so often, so he went over the financials, but found himself unable to understand most of it. _Do I know anyone who went into this? Kotomi's got to have investments somewhere, right? It seems like the smart sort of thing she would do._

He called Sunohara on the shop phone with the number he used last time, but there was no answer, nor was there a machine. _He might have used someone else's phone or something. I guess I could try getting his sister to get me his contact information._

Passing by the school for no particular reason, except having nothing else to do, he remembered Nagisa was probably already out, as were the rest of the students. _Huh. I rarely went here when everyone was out. Why does the empty school seem so familiar?_

Walking to the dormitory, he asked if Sagara was in, and the young man there said that she must be sick or something, since he had not seen her. Tomoya shrugged and left. _It might not be the wisest thing to just power through illness._ As he started to head back to the house, he realized he had forgotten the meat in the locker, which he had intended to bring home. Going back to the butchery and unlocking the place, his feet were starting to get sore, but he was mostly annoyed that everything he had done since closing time had been pointless. _I'll exercise when I get home after supper or something. Are you supposed to stay active while you're sick? Or are you supposed to rest? I think you're supposed to rest if it's a virus._

When at last he reached the house with an absurd amount of meat, packing the fridge presented an issue. Ao came over to see what he was doing and watched for a moment before saying anything. _How long has he been home?_

"Evening."

"Good evening, Ao," he said, trying to wedge a package in on top of another package.

"Would you like to tell me what you're doing with all that?"

"The meat locker at the butchery needs to reset itself, so I'm just putting away some of the inventory that would've gone bad otherwise."

"I see."

"I admit I'm having some trouble getting it all in."

"That, you didn't need to explain."

"If you'd like to help, you can."

"I'll take some of this to the neighbors. It'll make us look good," he decided, picking up a few packages. Perhaps it was an odd gift, but Tomoya was pretty sure they would accept it as long as they weren't vegetarians or something.

"Thank you."

There was no response.

When he looked up, Ao was nowhere around, but his wife was starting supper. She was polite in the sense that he expected it when she asked to use the meat he had only just been getting in the fridge with great difficulty, and she seasoned a flap cut before putting it in the oven. _She must be more familiar with cooking things in the oven than on a stovetop. Perhaps she can compare notes with Ryou._

He had not seen either of the Fujibayashi sisters since going to their house, and he doubted Kyou wanted him to check up on her, or if she did that she would admit it, so he just sort of hoped she was doing well. She had started her job, he knew, and it seemed unlikely most guys would hold being a teacher against her. If anything, it would be a plus.

Supper with Ao and Yasui was good, if a bit simple. He brought up the idea of having his girlfriend over again and they said they would be more available in two days, because some of the other Harada family members were paying obligatory visits. _I guess it's something that makes sense to do. I wouldn't really have the same experience, not having any family except my father._

Tomoya took a shower and did exercises in his room until he wore himself out the rest of the way and went to sleep. It felt like no time at all passed before he woke up, and he guessed that he did not dream. Getting ready quickly, he saw nothing out of the ordinary on his way to work and wondered if it would be another one of those times he seemed to skip a length of time without really paying attention. _Huh. Maybe I've been asleep this entire time, and the flashbacks are just real life or something._

He entertained himself momentarily with the thought of his ghost wandering around like Fuko trying to fix things in his already ruined life, but he dismissed the idea. It was kind of inherently silly to think he was dreaming, because while he could be fooled when asleep, when awake it was obvious. Before having visions, which seemed so long ago, he had realized this discrepancy made it easy to tell when he was dreaming, but applying that sort of logic while asleep would only wake him up. There were no customers the moment he got into work, but Honda was missing as well, most likely meaning he was on his own again. _I'm due to get paid tomorrow. I might as well hope that there's a bonus for covering for him for three days._

Remembering that it was the day to take the order of meat, he stood out by the back as soon as the driver called from the vehicle's phone. It was a pretty massive order, at least by his limited reckoning, but at least there were no customers badgering him while he was getting it loaded into the meat locker. Reminding himself of the previous evening as he loaded frozen meat, he found there was at least space for it all. He thanked the driver as soon as it was all loaded up, though his expression of gratitude seemed to be surprising. _Well, I was only thanking him for driving it here. I wasn't expecting he would help._

There was a customer almost as soon as the meat was loaded, so he put his other tasks aside and went to the counter.

"Are those chickens in the back?" It was a girl a few years younger, possibly a middle schooler.

"Yeah, I was just about to feed them and clean their cages." _I guess we should be grateful we don't have to rely on the meat locker to keep the chicken meat fresh._

"Oh, well, then I guess I'll get some ground beef," she said, pointing.

"No problem," he responded, smiling. _She doesn't want to think about the animal being alive._ "How is your brother?"

"Oh, you know Youhei?" she asked. "He must have told you about me." Something in his mind was in a rush to keep up with what was actually going on. It made sense to stick with a monosyllabic response.

"Yeah."

"Are you Okazaki?"

"How did you know?"

"Well... my brother kind of only ever told us about one other person..." He laughed until he realized she was looking at him funny.

"What? Oh, I kind of thought he would have been telling you about the Fujibayashi sisters. He told tall tales all the time."

"Hmm? I guess he might have told me something like that, but he never told our parents anything untrue." _They probably would have seen through it._ "I guess they must be reminding him to be honest."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure it's something like that." _No wonder he could get away with lying to her._ "So you're going to the private school up the road?" She nodded. "Well, I really hope you like it there. I think I did, all things considered. A lot of that was due to your brother. I don't think anyone else would have been my friend for the two years before I started shaping up."

"Well, I was kind of thinking you might have been his only friend as well. So... I want to thank you for that."

"It's no trouble. Just be sure to introduce yourself as his younger sister if you meet a senior girl named Furukawa Nagisa. Now go on, the meat will probably spoil if you carry it around too long in the summer." She nodded and ran off. _I didn't mean to imply that she had to run._ It crossed his mind that if she had been aware her brother had but one friend, she either saw through his stories or he never told stories about imaginary friends. _Come to think of it, he mostly just made himself out to be cooler than in real life, not happier._

As he cleaned out the chicken cages, which he usually did before feeding them, it occurred to him that what weirded him out about meeting the girl was that he had never met her before, and he instantly recognized her. _Well, I guess I did see a picture of her once. It wouldn't have been polite to call her 'Mei', so I didn't, but I do basically know who she is._ It had definitely been a long time, however, since he had seen the picture in Sunohara's room. He shook his head.

_I don't even want to know what happened in the alternate timeline._


	78. Surprises

As he went to the bakery for lunch, Tomoya thought about asking Nagisa if she had met Mei in school yet, but he guessed he could not expect to find her. _She'll be having lunch there, like always. I'm really starting to miss her._

He avoided trying Sanae's bread again, instead opting for a croissant with a couple hundred yen coins he found in his pocket. It was actually pretty nerve-wracking, having his entire asset at the moment in Apple stocks, but he would get paid soon and that would provide a good reason to check how he was doing. _I can't get paid if Honda's not here, though._

It would have been pleasant to stick around and make conversation with the Furukawas, but he decided to go ahead and go back to the shop. He was getting paid to be the only one manning the store, so he might as well act like it. During his time on the night shift, he had some bonus over his base pay, but it did not entirely counteract the lost tips he would have had from deliveries. Fortunately, there was one waiting for him as he got back to the shop.

For some reason, the customer had known exactly what she wanted days in advance, since had been written in the order log by the butcher himself. He shrugged at the irregularity, reminding himself that all customers were a little different, and though there were trends that could be followed and used, he really just had to respond to what they needed most of the time. It was a larger order, and the woman who left her name and address said she had the cash for it, which was usually good enough for him and Honda. _What's weird is that she couldn't have made this order one day earlier; we just wouldn't have everything in stock. It's four kilos of pork, four of beef, and four of lamb, of all things._

Tomoya loaded everything he needed to bring with him into a cloth bag they used for deliveries and decided to just get it over with. The address was not an unbearably far walk, nor was the load unbearably heavy, but he knew the combination of the two was going to wind up hurting his knees later. _She'd better have the exact change; I'm not carrying all this back._

He waved to a man he thought he recognized as a teacher from the school, though he did not receive a wave back. _Typical. I wouldn't expect to see a former delinquent doing work either._ It was not as if he particularly wanted to go back to his teachers and boast about his employment, though, since most of them were probably making more than he was.

The address was a large house, but he guessed he should have expected as much. With such a massive order, he was expecting either a wild party or a tame family gathering, and those made the most sense with large houses. _I'll get a sense for the job sooner or later. I don't know if I'll ever be as good as Honda, but I'll get pretty close._

Knocking on the door, there was no answer. _Huh. Usually they're waiting for me to show up. I guess she did place the order a while ago, though, so it might have slipped her mind exactly when I was supposed to show up._ He waited for someone to come, knowing that it was polite to at least give it a few minutes, though it was grating on him that he was leaving the shop unmanned while there. He had flipped the closed sign, since he knew he would be gone for up to an hour, but he really hoped he could get back before anyone noticed the shop was closed, especially at such an unusual time of day. _It's only a few hours after lunch. I can't let people get the idea that we regularly just disappear without warning._

He knocked again before trying the door. _Could be that they just can't hear it._ A more far-fetched but still possible idea was that everyone inside was watching something and assumed that the door knocking sounds were coming from the television. _No, that's stupid; that wouldn't happen twice in a row._

"Itou?" he called out, using the proper honorifics for a customer. It was a common surname, but it was on the house's name plate, and had been left with the address, so he had no idea why no one was responding. Sighing, he walked in a little ways with the order. He was unlikely to get his tip, but they could send a bill whenever. The house was dark, but he made his way into the living room as the light turned on.

"Glad you could make it, Okazaki." Tomoya might have responded if he had not found it preferable to jump out of his skin. It was like a surprise party had been arranged for him, and he could not imagine why. There were as many people in the room as he had initially expected, but after seeing the place in total darkness it was something of a shock. "You all right?"

"I don't do surprises, Mitsurugi," he said, recognizing the voice more than anything else. "This is a family get-together, then?" he asked as his eyes readjusted.

"Yeah, we invited everyone. Honda tells me you're getting into stocks."

"Uh, yeah, kind of. It's not as complicated as you might think." _Well, it's not complicated when you have an insurmountable advantage like I do. I highly doubt my actions could possibly lead to a dip in an American software company._

"Well, before we get supper going, my mother and father would probably like to ask you about your portfolio."

"It's not very... diverse," he forewarned.

"Well, it's fine to take on a little risk as a young man. You're not going to transition into long term, slow growth until you retire, probably," a man he presumed to be Misturugi's father said. _Huh. I think I knew his name was Itou, but it's such a common name I didn't think anything of it._ "How did you get into investing?"

"I mean, I guess my first investment was the house, and that should be paid off in a few years. I'm living with two of my friends, though their names are on the mortgage. After that I... saw promise in Apple."

"I see," the older man said. "Most of my investments are in the United States as well. With the amount of economic activity, you're almost guaranteed the highest returns." _No wonder they get so much economic activity, with everyone investing in them._

"Have you gotten your son into stocks much?" he asked, seeing the former rugby player was talking with someone else.

"No, he's had to focus on his career. He still has a lot of studying to do before he can make decisions like that."

"Can he decide that he needs to study in order to make other decisions?" Tomoya asked. "Did you tell him that he needs to study?" He was doing his best to be respectful and ask the questions without loading them up.

"He's been very receptive to all our advice so far. Our son sees us as good parents, who will advise him well and choose what's best for him," an older woman he assumed to be Mitsurugi's mother said. _She must be Itou Sonoko, then._

"I guess I wouldn't know what that's like," he ventured, a bit defeated. "My mother died a while back, and my father never really gave me any advice. I don't think I'd have listened, seeing how he... didn't lead the best life. He's on track to be out of debt, though."

"Oh, I understand," the older man said. "People come from all sorts of different backgrounds, and we always try to be understanding whenever we come across someone who might not have been raised with the same financial education as our son."

"We really feel bad for people who end up spending too much on pachinko and lottery tickets," his wife added. "It always sound so trite and like we are speaking from a high horse whenever we warn against buying those. Some people take out loans with incredibly high interest rates and then don't have any way of paying them back. Those should really be banned along with gambling."

He felt like he was being condescended, since he did have basic math skills and could reasonably figure out most of those things were just a drain on his finances. Even if he ever had any interest in gambling, he would at least know it was a waste of money. _Well, maybe she's not really talking about me, since at least I went all the way through high school, unlike some guys who decide to start an apprenticeship after middle school._

Tomoya talked to some other people after receiving some basic investing advice from Mitsurugi's parents. He really had no idea who anyone was, but it seemed like most people realized that he was a surprise guest rather than just a butcher's employee who decided to stick around. _If Honda's here, then I guess it's fine that we're leaving the place closed for a few hours. I should talk to him._

"Good day, sir," he said, taking a seat next to his boss. "Your sister and her husband were about what I expected."

"Well-meaning? Pretty sure of themselves?"

"Yeah, basically. I really don't have anything against them. I'd probably be way better off if I had parents like that." He looked around. "What's the occasion, anyway?"

"It was just a good time to have a family reunion. A few key people were in Hikarizaka on business, and that was enough to get everyone else to show up. Do you like this family, Okazaki?"

It seemed like an odd question, but he knew what the old man meant.

"I don't think I can marry into it. I'm already pretty sure with the girl you met a while ago. I should probably get out ahead of it in case any of the customers tell you, but I kind of let her hang out in the shop the day before yesterday, when I wasn't expecting much of anyone to show up. I swear she didn't touch anything." Honda's expression remained static before he cracked a smile.

"I guess I can't be too mad about that. Did you ask my sister about her stocks?"

"Yeah, she and her husband are invested all over the place. She's got a lot of domestic stocks."

"Good. Building the community." It seemed the butcher would reserve comment on his brother-in-law's trading habits. _I guess you do have to invest in your own country, even if the asset isn't going to grow as quickly._

"It looks like supper is about to start."

"Yeah, looks like it."

Tomoya did not intend to reveal to anyone that some of Mitsurugi's female relatives were attractive, since that would only complicate things, and really he did not like the idea of dating someone related to a friend in the first place. As he grew more attached to Nagisa, or really more serious about her, he started to grow more concerned about her health, though she would probably tell him it was the wrong time of the year to be worrying about that. _Is there anything I can do about her condition? That's the question I need to be asking myself._

Supper started, and as expected it worked sort of like a barbecue in which people huddled around grills to put meat on with chopsticks. It really seemed like a fire hazard to have so many going in one house at the same time, but he guessed he was getting old and boring if he concerned himself with that. Thinking about how his former self would respond, it was probably something like ignoring the fire hazard until there was a fire, and then just calmly walking out of the building when it started.

He decided he had reached a point in his life where he basically could not be thrilled by food, or perhaps he was just a philistine, but he found it more than good enough. There was something particularly nice about getting to eat some of the product he had stocked just that morning, though as he thought of it, another question was answered. _Honda wouldn't normally take an order himself, and I'm pretty sure I would've been in the store when it came in. Really, the whole thing was planned between him and his sister from the start. He knew when the order of meat was coming in, so that was when he scheduled the family reunion._

At a table with the Itous and a couple of younger kids, who looked like they felt out of place, he did his best to entertain them by telling them about stories from high school. They seemed a bit cheered by that, especially from the outdated idea of himself he was probably giving them. The adults, by contrast, were a little concerned.

"Do you ever wish your father had taken a more active role in your development, Okazaki?" the older man asked. The kids were not paying attention.

"I think about it sometimes," he said, trying to be honest. "The thing is, if he had, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'd just be replaced by someone else who looks a lot like I do. So I guess I have to be grateful it worked out the way it did."

"Have you always felt that way?" the older woman asked.

"No. It really wasn't that long ago that I used to resent him for just letting me do whatever I want. There were good sides of that, though; it just took me a long time to start to see that. No matter what happened to me, I'd have to grow up and think for myself, since there just wasn't any other option. I really couldn't say whether it would have been better that way or not."

"I see."

"I don't think my father never asked himself what would be best for me. I think he saw how I behaved, and decided a free-range approach might actually be best." _There's no way he never asked himself that in the years between my mother dying and the day I graduated and got a job._ It felt like he was missing something he knew he remembered, but it would be weird if it came from the alternate timeline, since he had reason to believe his father did not last very long into that. _Maybe it's just something from a long time ago._

He remembered holding a toy, some overlarge piece of plastic that he had probably lost or broken, walking down a street with the old man, though he looked young enough at the time to avoid being called that. It wasn't as if he had been entirely happy, but he was at least hopeful. That was how he would describe the way he had been feeling at the time. _What was the toy? Some kind of robot?_

"Okazaki?" one of the kids asked. "Bathroom."

"Uhh... okay. You can go."

Nothing happened. _They didn't want my permission, so..._ He pointed toward the back of the house as the little girl continued to stare at him.

"I think it's over that way. It's down that short hallway." She got up and left. _At least she doesn't need me to take her there. Little kids are like that sometimes._

Looking around, it seemed most people were finished eating. _How long have I been here? A few hours? I know Honda's accepted it, but I really hope the customers aren't too pissed off._

"Okazaki?" Mitsurugi's mother asked, sitting back down next to the grill after having gotten up for something.

"Yeah?"

"You have a-"

"Spaced-out look?" he asked. "I get that a lot." He looked away a moment. Her husband was talking with someone else. "Sorry. It's not your fault you're the most recent person to say it."

"Do you have something on your mind?"

"Yeah, it's kind of about your son." He told her about the conversations he had with her brother about how he thought the young man deserved to see what a normal life was like, at the very least. It was not as if that was a realistic option at this point, and he understood that, and he also understood that the two of them had only tried to give their son the best life they could, where he could be as proud of himself as they were.

"What do you think we should do?" she asked. Somehow he understood that just because the assistant butcher said something, did not mean they would automatically do it.

"I think you just need to ask him what he wants. I'm not saying you never have, but something about what you said earlier suggested you didn't think it was that important." He sighed. "Honda probably also needs to ask him what he wants, but I'll say that to him myself. I don't think it'll change anything and I don't honestly know if it should change anything, but I think you'd all be better off that way."

Ordinarily, he expected any parent hearing something like that to have every right to be upset with him, but he was pleasantly surprised to see the older woman nodding. _She must have seen this coming._

"You have been a good friend to our son."


	79. Phileo

When he eventually went home, he was glad for not having to lock up the butchery, since it was past closing time anyway. There was a call waiting for him at the house, and Yasui looked relieved to be able to hand it off to him. _At this hour? Who the hell-_

"OKAZAKI!" the voice rang out as he moved the speaker away from his ear. _I must be tired for this to come as a shock._

"What do you want, Sunohara?"

"Didn't you call me the other day?"

"Oh, yeah. I thought you wanted something."

"You're the one who always wants something. Serve me tea, Sunohara. Let me read your books, Sunohara. Dress up as a-"

"Never mind that. I met your sister yesterday, and I was just calling to make sure it wasn't you taking her place. That's probably your best gambit yet if you're still trying to avoid growing up. Unironically hats off."

"Very funny, Okazaki. I call back because I was concerned, and now you treat me like I'm still the same way I was a few months ago."

"How are you now, then?"

"I'm responsible. I signed a rental agreement without reading it, so I wouldn't be responsible for what it said." _That's legitimately just buck-passing._

"Are you still eating pork cutlet bowls every day?"

"No, I can't afford it. I probably wouldn't get fat with all the exercise I have to do."

"Well, good for you. Where are you living, Shinjuku?"

"It's great, actually. I couldn't afford my own room, so I'm living with a bunch of guys from a local rugby team- and guess what?"

"They're the same rugby team from-"

"No, they're not, obviously. They don't beat me up, either. They think I'm funny and they don't have a problem with my taste in music." _He's probably learned to keep it down. That, or there's a rule about loud music in the apartment itself._

"Well, that's great. I was always hoping you would find your first friends some day."

"How dare you say you were never my friend!" He moved the phone away from his ear again.

"Sunohara, you said you were going to be responsible," he said in a serious voice. "Part of being responsible is learning to face the truth."

"There's no truth to face if I hang up first!"

Tomoya could swear he heard the clacking sound of the plastic right before the call disconnected, but his own laughter covered up the tone coming from the speaker anyway. _That dumbass- he hasn't changed a bit. Well, he probably has, but he's still..._

Ao and Yasui were staring at him.

"Who was that? Were you just having an argument?"

"Not really; that was just my old friend Sunohara. We were joking around like we always did in school. It's kind of like a bit where he plays the honest moron and I play the debonair jerk. Wasn't ever entirely real or entirely fake."

The man seemed to understand the concept more so than his wife.

"Were you ever really mean to him?"

"I wasn't that considerate to him, I guess, but it would've been too much of an insult if I had been. I think I did a few genuinely mean things out of meanness. I've changed a lot since then, though. I don't think I'd be getting up to the same tricks again, even if he were around."

"Why does he live in Shinjuku?" Ao asked, perhaps trying to change the subject.

"He wants to work in entertainment. It's really the best thing for him; I'm surprised I didn't think of it. I know I suggested something, but I don't remember what it was."

"You said you met his sister recently?" Yasui asked.

"Yeah, she just started high school. Well, I guess she's a few months in now. She came by the butchery on a whim and I recognized her from a photo I had seen." _I'm lucky I have that excuse. I still have no idea what kind of appearance she could have made in the other timeline, but I should probably stay away from her as long as I have any say in the matter. If I suddenly remember something, I'll space out again._

For the moment, at least, the happy couple had no further questions. He decided to spend the rest of the night exercising and go to bed after that. _I genuinely don't have any money at the moment, so I'll get some leftovers from the fridge for tomorrow's lunch._ There was a pang of guilt as he wondered whether he really contributed enough to the house, since he doubted his friends would tell him if they thought he was a leech, but he guessed that was how having friends worked. _I have to do my best to take care of their needs._

The following morning, he felt a little uneasy in the stomach as he got out of bed, but could ignore that for the moment. He found Yasui reading a letter in the kitchen, but she quickly hid it as his footsteps became audible. _I'd better not ask what that is. If she doesn't want help with it, I shouldn't pry._ He set himself on his way to work immediately after wishing her a good morning. All the same, it had him curious. _She was having some ruffled feathers over some of her family members earlier. I guess that could be it. More than likely, though, it's money._

Ao had a job that paid well, but her classes were expensive and they basically cleaned out their savings for a down payment on the mortgage, at least as he understood it. Tomoya knew that she was looking around for part-time work, ideally something that used her musical talent, but so far it had been difficult. _It probably doesn't help that she's a young woman who just got married. It's a damn wonder Yoshino-sensei's going to be off work until the baby's old enough to walk or something._

Getting to the butchery on autopilot, he saw that Honda was helping a customer. He had seen the man before, but he did not know when that was. He wanted a thick cut of steak and the shop was happy enough to oblige.

"Did that guy say his name?" he asked as soon as the door closed.

"No, but I know it. He's Todoroki. Beat cop."

"Oh, that's where I've seen him before. I didn't recognize him without the uniform."

"Did he show up at night?"

"Yeah, that's probably when his shift is. I guess they're allowed to take care of errands as long as it doesn't get in the way of their jobs."

He had heard of a rumor about police in America becoming known for eating donuts all the time because the donut stores, which were open twenty four hours, gave discounts to the officers as a mechanism of keeping criminals away. During his time on the night shift, he saw plenty of cops eating some kind of pastry, so he guessed it had more to do with the amount of coffee they drank and needing something to go with that. Sometimes the pastries were just a prop for interrogations; a 'good cop' maneuver.

There was a delivery to take to the Fujibayashi residence, which promised a tip at least, but he really hoped he did not need to fill up the vehicle before that. As responsible as he was trying to be with his finances, he felt he had come all the way back around to being irresponsible by not having a cushion of cash so he could pay for things that might be needed. Fortunately the tank was full. Getting back would put him close enough to the lunch break hour, so he took his lunch with him. _Does Ryou just want to talk to someone? I'd think she'd have friends at nursing school._

When he arrived, however, it was her sister who waited at the door.

"Do you have the day off from school?" he asked. "I mean work? Did the school let you-"

"I'm coming down with something."

"Huh. I haven't been feeling my best either."

"Take a day off; it won't kill you," Kyou advised as they made the exchange. "Oh, one of the new teachers is only twenty," she added.

"Do you like him?"

"I wouldn't say I like him, but based on the fact that he's not literally twice my age, that's in the realm of possibilities."

Tomoya would have liked to tease her by saying that her evasiveness meant she liked him, but that was stupid back in high school and it was stupid at the present. _Why did I really want to die on that hill back then? It's an annoying thing that people do, but why was it so important to me?_

"Are you enjoying the job?"

"Yeah, I am," she said, brightening a bit. "Thanks for asking."

"What age group did you get?"

"Most of the kids are about five, so it's just about perfect." _That's right, she wanted to have the kids in her class be pretty young._ "A few days ago, I met one named Tomoya."

"Was he a delinquent?"

"No, he was a perfect gentleman. So now you have no excuse to be rude to Nagisa."

"Yeah, you're right, I should be getting back to her," he said, going back to the car. It looked like Kyou was not exactly done explaining what had happened, but he could eat lunch on the way back; it was just a sandwich with cutlet and shredded lettuce. _I shouldn't make a habit of being late back on every delivery just because I have an excuse._

He had to swerve to avoid a kid crossing the street unexpectedly, but he guessed his speed was a bit high anyway. It was weird the way entitlement worked; the idea that children might be playing near a street meant drivers had to slow down. It was more than easy enough to where he would go along with the regulation without questioning it, and he knew it could not work the other way around, that children would watch out for cars, but they were advised to do just that. One of his memories of his mother was of her telling him to be careful around the street, because the drivers might not see him. _The drivers have to look out for children, but it can't really be said that they have the right to behave as dangerously as possible._

Getting back to the shop, he noticed the car still had plenty of gas, which was good, since he could probably only hold onto the tip for so long. _Until I get paid, this is probably my lunch money. I can't just collect leftovers whenever I feel like it. I guess, alternatively, I could spend it on groceries, but then I wouldn't have an excuse to go over to the bakery._

"You're back a little earlier than I thought you would be," Honda said.

"I remembered I brought a lunch, so I wouldn't need to run the delivery into my lunch break," he said.

"Well, keep it up. I figured you don't know much about driving around town, so it'd take you a while to get a feel for the roads, but I expect prompt deliveries going forward."

"Yes, sir," he said. _Most of the deliveries aren't personal friends anyway. It's definitely a rare bird to get sent to a house for a family reunion._ He mentally shrugged. _I guess he just doesn't want me getting the idea that going someplace and socializing shouldn't become a habit._ As far as that went, he knew most of the time he had no problem staying within those guidelines.

"So you know, I'm fine with your talking with customers. As far as I'm concerned, it's building relationships. It's also a good thing that a lot of them seem to be young women."

"Sir, I-"

"You don't have to justify it with me. I just thought you were serious about-"

"I am; it's just kind of a coincidence that almost all of my friends are girls. We've discussed this. She's okay with it."

Nothing was said for a moment and he set himself to cleaning the tools. _I should visit Nagisa today. We had a long date over the weekend, so we probably didn't feel the need to see each other again right after that, but I should at least ask her how school's going, even if it's probably going to be the same answer for a while._

Tomoya wondered if his girlfriend had ever been quietly annoyed or jealous because of his friends. He had been honest with her about Kyou and Sakagami, how he had considered dating each of them; but she would have burrowed it out of him anyway. _Maybe since I'm not running into them that much anymore, the problem will go away by itself. I guess they're still in the general area, but they're both probably going to end up with someone soon. They can't just hold a torch for me forever._

Some more customers came through and work let off after that; he did most of it on autopilot. Heading to the bakery, he had a thought that they might be starting supper right as he got there, which would be fine by him. _They have a lot of meat to get eaten, after all._ On his way there he saw the old basketball coach.

"Okazaki?" he asked. _I could just not respond._

"Good afternoon, sir," he said.

"Where have you been all this time?" _You had to know I was still going to Hikarizaka._

"I haven't been anywhere. I graduated and got a job."

"With your talents, I'd have thought you would want to play at a higher level." _I was above average, but I wasn't the best the school ever had._

"I got a pretty bad injury at one point and it didn't heal properly," he answered honestly. Somehow avoiding the question seemed like it would take more work, and he was no longer afraid of any kind of disapproval from adults. "I really didn't need a doctor to tell me that I couldn't play any longer."

"Huh. That's kind of unfortunate."

"Yeah, that's pretty much exactly how I see it, sir," he said. "I'm sure you've got somewhere to be." Tomoya walked off. He truly had nothing against the coach; if anything it was his father against whom he had a long-standing grudge, but something about the man just seemed off. _It's probably just the fact that I used to look up to him and now I can't see him that way._

When he arrived at the bakery, he asked Akio where his daughter was. He still did not want to get on the baker's bad side, but it was a bit annoying having to tiptoe around him when there was not anything serious going on between them. _I guess he doesn't have any reason to believe that, though._

"She's not in."

"What?"

"I said she's not in. She's shopping with her mother."

"Oh, well, that's fine." He felt a little guilty about it, but in his head his obligation was already fulfilled, so he could just as easily leave, but he reconsidered. Seeing the girl would be nice, and he highly doubted her old man would tell her he had come by. _I don't know how I keep forgetting what his incentives are._

"You just going to wait for her?"

"Yeah."

"Some kind of desperate Romeo?"

"I don't have anything else to do."

"Might as well talk about something if you're going to be here, then," Akio suggested. _He wants to get to know me a little more. That makes sense._

"I was wondering where Nagisa got her values," he said. "What kind of things did you teach her, growing up?"

"Well, pretty early on we realized she took to pretty much anything we said almost immediately. She was very dependent on us... emotionally, more so than, I don't know, what you would think for a child of that age. We understood the circumstances of that, though." Tomoya just nodded. He had heard the story. "So, we kind of started where it felt like we went wrong and went from there. Our first priority was raising her to be caring and responsible."

_That's because you felt like you had been uncaring and irresponsible._

"It sort of branches out from there, I guess," he ventured. "If you cover those bases-"

"She figured out the rest herself, yeah. There's a bit of selfishness in her somewhere, and it's cute when I get to see it every so often, like a few days ago when she said she was going to spend a day with you. I knew you hadn't suggested it, because you hadn't been by." _Huh. I guess I really only talk to her when I'm over here._

"What did she do?"

"Well, when I told her she just decided that on a whim, she huffed, insisted it was not on a whim, and left."

He could not help but smile at the thought of his girlfriend behaving like that. _She's denying that it was unplanned, but she's not denying it was her idea._

"That is pretty cute."

"Yup. That's why I'm not letting you keep her."


	80. Dreams of the Self

"What? Why?" he asked. _I knew he was stubborn about this, but..._

"You'll be the death of her."

"No, I won't. I would never do anything to endanger her. I've been trying to protect her the whole time- you know I have."

"You've been trying, but it won't be enough. She's delicate all the way through."

"I know she's sick for part of the year, but I'll take good care of her. If it makes you or her feel any better, she can be here the entire time." He sighed. "I know she's got a soft heart, but that's just how it is. No matter what kind of guy she marries-"

"Who says she has to marry someone? That's not even on the table until she's thirty."

"Her teacher is only like twenty five or something-"

"Not my daughter," Akio said, turning his nose up briefly. "I know you, Okazaki. You're a generally good kid, but that's what you are, a kid. There's something you haven't even thought of where you could really hurt her."

It had been a while since anyone had called him immature, especially since he started getting memories from the other timeline. If anything, it was the opposite.

"I'm not a kid."

"That's the kind of thing a kid would say."

"Yeah; it's also the kind of thing an adult would say. For the record, though, when I was a kid I basically admitted it."

"Well, aren't you special."

It appeared the old man had nothing more to say to him. He was aware that going down the list of all the adult things he had done would be pointless, because they were already common knowledge and were just going to be ignored anyway. _Whatever. She's already old enough to where he can't really keep her at home if she wants to leave._

Tomoya was frustrated, but leaving the shop, even to come back later, seemed like the coward's way out, so he stared until Akio finished cleaning up the place, and then the contest was on. The two of them stayed like that until the door opened. Neither looked.

"Is this a staring contest?" Sanae asked, jumping in immediately. She took her husband's side, making up the rules for a team staring contest in so doing. Nagisa 'umm'ed for a few moments before taking his side. "You can switch out now, dear, I have this under control."

"Umm, Tomoya, I should be good for a while."

"Thanks, Nagisa," he said, sighing a bit. "Do you think the staring contest might go on forever if we keep switching out, though?"

"It won't go on forever if you kids give it up!" Akio shouted.

"We're not giving up!" his daughter responded, staring back even more intently. "Your eye twitched momm-"

"It did not!" Sanae insisted. "It must have been your eye twitching that obscured your vision."

He stared at the two of them continuing the contest, though not nearly as intently or with as much concern as the baker. _What a weird family._ It was not the first time the thought had crossed his mind, and he highly doubted it would be the last, but at least he had gotten used to the weirdness. In a sense, he could even appreciate it.

Eventually Nagisa won after her mother tried to distract her for a moment and blinked, though her husband would not let her get away with that gambit, even though they were on the same team. Supper started shortly after that. Tomoya felt a moment of guilt for the two of them just waiting for 'the girls' to get home so they could take care of it, but Sanae would probably not hear of a guest helping out, and he had not heard of the old man having any culinary knowledge outside of bread. He was not at all bothered by the way their family was set up; it was charming, if anything, but he did not want to be a stereotype.

They were having rice balls, which was reminiscent of a lunch with Kyou, though he expected the Furukawa family would either deny that they were strictly lunch food or simply not be bothered. The lady of the house asked him what brought him over at one point, and he got around to saying that he had not seen Nagisa in a while and felt like he should visit. His girlfriend gave the obligatory response that he need not feel obligated, though she would be happy to see him any time he came over. Her father looked displeased for a moment, but he hid it quickly.

_She's not just going to suddenly stop liking me just because I'm bad for her. What does he even want?_

When supper was over, the two of them went upstairs to talk some more.

"Tomoya... were you avoiding me at the beginning of last year?" she asked. "Sorry. You don't have to answer that-"

"Then why did you... ?"

"I couldn't just keep quiet about it forever..." He thought about how to answer.

"Well, I had a lot on my mind at the time, but I guess I might have been avoiding you. I think I would have stopped that around the time we were trying to help Fuko."

"You seemed more willing to be around me at the time, but... there was something in your expression. I couldn't tell what it was, but... it reminded me of the way I felt around my parents." He remembered what she and her parents had separately told him about that. Apparently, they gave her the whole story while she was sick. _I guess there wasn't a lot else she could do at the time._

"I think I might have had a weird feeling about you," he said. "It was a while ago, so I don't know exactly what I was thinking at the time, but I have some vague notion of unease. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I really couldn't begin to explain why." She looked down a bit as he spoke.

"That's okay... I should have guessed you wouldn't remember something that far back... but I didn't want to ask you at the time. I thought I might be wrong about it, and then you would say something like 'Avoiding you, when?' and I would have nothing to say to that." _I probably had a better idea of why I felt that way at the time, so if she had asked, she'd have had a better chance... but there's no way she could have done that. How do you just ask someone 'do you feel uncomfortable around me'?_

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't intend to do it again."

"Well, after you told me about your dreams, and how you once thought about moving to Sapporo, I thought, well, maybe..."

"I didn't have a dream about you," he said. "I've never done anything for you."

"That's not true," Nagisa insisted quickly. "You protected me when-"

"You were only in danger because I liked you." _Is that why I slowly grew attached to you? Is it because I knew that there was no gratitude mixed into your feelings?_

"Well, you can help me with anything you want," she said. "Then you can have a dream about me and we'll know." She was standing now, though she did not meet his eyes, putting her face against his chest instead. "You said you get vague senses from the other time when you're awake."

"Yeah..."

"I think... you may have had some sense about me." Her fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt. "Did I hurt you, Tomoya?"

"If you did, then I deserved-"

"That's not good enough. I need to know if I hurt you."

"Well... what do you want?" He knew he was asking an almost entirely pointless question. As far as he had seen, there was only one thing Nagisa wanted and that was to be free of her condition, or at least to survive the next time it struck. There was nothing he could do about that.

"I'll think of something. I have another question."

"Huh?"

"Do your memories ever get... mixed up? It looks like you're not sure what world it is sometimes." He shook his head, though not to deny it.

"Sometimes when I wake up, I wonder if I'll wake up in that other timeline. It's so real, Nagisa, I wouldn't have even brought it up if-"

"I know."

"There was a time, back when I was in school- it seemed like I was losing track of my old memories, and I was just kind of stepping into the new environment. I was just kind of... being the person I was before instead of who I grew up to be. I had this fear that everything I remembered would be overwritten. At one point I tried to figure out whether it was some kind of prophecy in my head, or I time traveled involuntarily-"

"I guess maybe you could have just received memories from some unrelated timeline-"

"Yeah, that's exactly it. There was basically no end to the amount of possible explanations for why I was getting those memories, and at some point I stopped really worrying about the exact mechanism and I started trying to work out what happened. I think I told you that I settled on losing my father as the most likely explanation." Nagisa hung her head.

"But it could have been something I did."

"Why are you feeling guilty about that? I wouldn't expect you to be in my dreams, because I've never helped you. Even if, I don't know, it had something to do with you, why do you think you're at fault?"

"I just can't help it. That's just how I am. Every time something bad happens, I have to wonder if I'm responsible." Something clicked. His arms were already around her, but he patted her head.

"Well, you can stop wondering. You're not responsible for everything." He held her by the shoulders and looked down. "Do you think you'd do something that bad to where my life ended up the way I described it?"

"Maybe..."

"Okay, guess I'd better leave you alone, then," he said, turning to walk out. Nagisa grabbed his arm, but said nothing. After a moment she let go and just stood there, looking down again. "Are you about to cry?"

"No..."

"You're not very good at lying."

"I can't help it, Tomoya. I can't help but think you might be better off without me. What if... when I get sick again, I don't make it?" she asked. "Won't you be sad?"

"Of course I would be sad, Nagisa. I'm not worried about that, though. You've always made it in the past." He would like to say that even if he were worried about her dying, he would stay by her side until the end, but somehow he could not get the words out. "I know you're really good at figuring things out. This is just one of those times where I have to disagree with you."

"You don't think that I..."

"I don't even know that I ever had anything to do with you," he whispered, pulling her close again. "I know some people like to think that people are just destined to be together, but, well, what if the only thing that really happened in that world is that I never knew you? What if I did know you, but I avoided you?"

"I... I don't know..."

"I'm not going to just leave you."

"Promise me you won't."

"I promise. I know it's what your old man wants-"

"What?"

"We were talking earlier. He still thinks I'm bad news." He gripped her a bit more tightly. "Don't worry about being selfish, Nagisa. You've got a long way to go before you catch up to me."

They stayed like that for a moment before Tomoya went back downstairs, finding the Furukawas still up and about, as expected. He asked Sanae if there had ever been anything Nagisa had wanted for a while, and she said that it was weird, but not really. It had been a long time since she could be called a little girl, and even back then it seemed like she never wanted anything. He nodded. _It's probably not the childish wishes that she still has. I can't remember what or really even how much I wanted before my mother died. After that, it felt pointless to want things for a while._

Going back to the house, he did some exercises before sleeping. In his own opinion, he was getting pretty good about it, and sooner or later he would just do it automatically. Sleep was peaceful, at least; the last thing he was expecting was a dream about his girlfriend. Going to work, he found Honda right as he arrived.

"You're early, Okazaki."

"I just felt like it. There's not a lot else I have to do."

"You could be spending time with your girl," the butcher suggested, unlocking the door.

"Don't think her parents would approve." He knew his boss was not actually being crude, and probably meant just hanging out with her, but he was a bit annoyed about being told what to do in that context. A customer came in as if to break the tension while they were going about their tasks.

At lunchtime, he remembered he had not brought anything from the house, but he still had a few hundred yen coins from the tip, so he could go over to the bakery if he felt like it. _I feel like something different, though._ He walked into a convenience store, looked around a bit, and left, deciding everything was a bit too expensive to really be worth it. He knew he was in a highly urbanized setting and grocers and fresh goods were pretty rare, but at some point it felt like all he could eat; he just would not consider anything higher than wholesale. His habits were probably good for saving money, but he was probably going to the bakery entirely too often. _All those carbs are going to kill me one of these days. At least Yasui knows how to put together a healthy meal._

Getting a few things from the grocer and going home, he had no time for anything other than eating some leftovers and getting back. Honda did not say anything about his returning a minute or so late, probably figuring he was just at the bakery or something. _I'm starting to think his perception of me is this super outgoing socialite._ That was about when he remembered what he had promised himself he would do.

"Honda, I spoke with Mitsurugi's parents."

"Yeah. I saw."

"I asked them to ask him what he wanted out of life, and the next time you see him, I think you should do the same." Checking the display, he saw they were low on chicken breasts and a few other parts. "When you described the issue to me, I think I tried to figure out who was right and who was wrong. His parents wanted him to push himself to the limit so he could be proud of himself, knowing he had achieved all he could, and you wanted him to try to live simply so that he wouldn't have to deal with all that stress."

"You got to thinking neither of us were right?"

"I got to thinking he might have a preference." Going back to the chicken cages, he got out one of the older birds. "There's no way he hasn't basically heard what you and his parents have to say at some point. Do you think that he might feel like, because both options sound like sage advice, that anything he has to say wouldn't matter?" Honda sighed a bit at his question. "I'm not saying you should lose too much sleep over his feelings, but he's an adult, and he should know about what he wants to do at this point. I'm pretty sure he knew he didn't want to work here."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, if he did, he'd have left the job open. Then he could come back whenever. I think he didn't know how else to tell you he didn't want to come back."

Tomoya removed the chicken's head, draining the blood into a bucket underneath the cone, like always.

"He had confidence in you, then."

"Yeah. He probably figured I wouldn't quit. If I did, he'd be in trouble, because then he'd know he probably didn't want to do it either. I really don't know what I'd do if I weren't working here, though. Maybe I would've asked Yoshino about an apprenticeship."

"Glad to know how much you value your employment." _As if you couldn't see if from day one._ He was about to have to feather the bird, but he let a bit more blood drip. "You get paid today, after all."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," he said as though he had not been looking forward to it. Tomoya had some idea he had given Honda some food for thought, but the old man was not just going to come out and say that, at least not today. _There's always tomorrow, though. No need to pressure, no need to rush._


	81. The Last Day of Summer

Tomoya walked to the financial advisor. The summer had already past its hottest point, and he expected it would grow cool again before too long. Fortunately, though, everything would be open for a good stretch of time. With almost all of his asset in stocks, he was looking forward to the fall, hoping it would have grown some. He really wished he could get his memory to tell him when exactly it was supposed to take off, but apparently it did not work that way.

Only a few minutes ago he had received his envelope as they were tidying the place and locking up. They had made more than a few sales that day and he had worked by himself while Honda had been out, so he did get a bonus, though it was not as much as he had been hoping. At the office, he found the man to whom he had talked earlier.

"I remember you. You're the one who put everything into Apple."

"Yeah. How's it going?"

"Well, it's gone down slightly since then, but it's only been... what is it, a month? These kinds of fluctuations happen."

"If it's gone down, then it's an even better time to buy," he said, extending most of the cash he had received. "Put me down for a few more."

"I have to say I like your attitude," the man behind the desk said. "You don't have a lot of expenses, do you?"

"I guess I kind of don't. It's really just bills, food, and sometimes taking my girlfriend on a date. Taxes are a lot."

"Don't I know it." _He probably makes a lot more than I do, so he'd be paying more in taxes as well._ "Well, what can you do? Risky stocks are okay at your age."

"I've heard. I wasn't going to be doing much with the rest of my money anyway. I'll see you later."

He had thought about it, and he really did not have any expensive hobbies. Unlike Sunohara, he had never really gotten into games, and he was content to read things he had already read rather than going out and getting new comics or magazines. Ao and Yasui had books at the house, though he was not terribly interested in any of them. _I'll give them a shot at some point. Maybe I can read to Nagisa while she's sick._

Somehow, even though winter was about as far away as it could be, he could feel the approach. _I can't let her find out that I'm worried, it'll only make her more worried herself._

He found himself walking home, which was fine since he had worked up an appetite. Ao was doing some work on the exterior.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, you see those stains way up there? I'm not sure what to do about them."

"The wife doesn't like it?"

"You guessed it. Do you have any ideas?"

"I wouldn't try painting it. It feels like the stains would just show up through the new coat. Do we have a hose anywhere?"

"No, you'd need something a bit stronger than a standard garden hose to get that off." Ao shook his head. "I get that we're known for being clean and orderly in this town, but we're not really known for yardwork. I wonder how we managed that."

"Probably when we were kids we just didn't notice the adults were taking care of business." It was his turn to shake his head. "I guess we could ask someone, like Kotomi's father. He's been living in a house for decades; this has to have happened."

"I'll reach out to him before this weekend and take care of it then. Oh, are your stocks working out?"

"They went a bit lower, actually, but it should come back." _If it doesn't come back, I'll just lose my principle by taking it out._ "I guess, technically, that makes now an even better time to get in."

"You might be right about that, but you might be wrong about the whole thing," Ao said as they went inside. "Why do you have such a good feeling about this company that makes you want to go buy as many stocks as you can?"

"It's complicated. They've got all the indicators of coming back in a few years."

"You're not going to need any savings for the next few years?"

"I'm not putting literally all my money in the stock." He took a breath. "By that I mean my next few paychecks I'll probably save."

"That sounds a lot like gambling."

"It's not gambling. The only thing I regret is starting when I did. If I started lower, I could have had more stocks. There's no way it'll get any lower than it's already gone."

"It sounds like you're convincing yourself."

"Well, I'm the only person I have to convince."

As Yasui arrived, their conversation stopped, but she could probably detect the tension. _Nothing about what Ao said is technically wrong; he just doesn't know what I know._ He let out a long breath and offered to help the lady of the house with getting supper ready, but she said he had done plenty, getting so many ingredients for them. The last thing he wanted at the moment was to bother either of them too much, since they owned the property. He knew they would never just kick him out, because at the very least Nagisa knew Yasui and there would be problems there, and both of them probably felt moderately grateful to him, but even decent people like the two of them could decide he was more trouble than he was worth.

 _The simplest thing to do would be to have a kid, or start telling me they really want to have a kid. There's only one other bedroom in the house, after all._ To make matters worse for him, they had to know there was no way for him to seriously expect them to just not have a child for his sake. They had both said at some point or another that they wanted to wait before having kids, because that was notoriously expensive, but, well accidents could happen.

He tried to tell himself he was getting worked up over nothing, and more than likely he was, almost certainly he was, but he had to acknowledge that in objective terms, he was in a precarious situation. If he told some random person on the street that he moved in with some married friends who actually owned the place, he could be reasonably sure the random person would shake his head and say he'd be well advised to keep an eye open for other living arrangements. _At the very least they'll refund my investment._ A treacherous thought told him that could be their way of being rid of him; saying he was out of money and he needed that more than a place to live, especially with a living parent in town.

It was impossible to remember when he started to be annoyed by the idea of imposing on people's kindness, but he was pretty sure he always hated relying on it. _I feel like a terrible person for thinking that they'd turn against me, but that's what makes the most sense to do, especially if they want to have a kid, or have one unintentionally._

Thinking better of trying to go to sleep conflicted, he decided to knock himself out exercising, since that usually worked. He did eventually get to sleep, though waking up indicated that it had not been entirely restful. _At least I don't feel like I'm sick anymore, not even a little._ Looking over at the clock, he assumed the date was wrong, which was not too unusual. As far as he knew, most people did not rely on their alarm clocks for the date.

It felt a bit cooler outside, which was a welcome change. Yasui liked it a few degrees warmer than her husband, but he guessed even she did not mind the occasional cool day. _It'll be fall in a few months, so it would make sense to go ahead and start getting used to it._ His thoughts turned to Nagisa as he made it to the butchery, seeing Honda like nothing had happened.

"Morning, Okazaki," the old man said, a smile of familiarity on his face.

"Morning, Honda," he said, trying to match the feeling. If his boss wanted to treat him more like a friend, it was a welcome change, if a sudden one. Getting his tools ready, the butcher reminded him that there was not a shipment that morning, which was good, because he did not remember being told that before. A customer came in and asked for a whole chicken, butchered, and he assumed that meant she wanted it in pieces, so he said he would be a few minutes slaughtering a new one and she walked out. The old man only shrugged in response.

There were a few more customers before lunch, when he opted to go to the bakery. Outside, it was still chilly, even in the middle of the day, so he guessed it was just going to be a cool day. At the bakery, Akio addressed him like a normal customer and Tomoya had a sinking feeling. _It's nothing certain, not yet, but there's something really weird going on._

He knew he has not having a vision of the future because he could control himself, and because as far as he knew, all of his visions had been of the other timeline. Buying some bread without much in the way of comment, he decided to get back to work. In any universe, he was relatively sure the butcher would want him to be back in time. _I have to find Nagisa. She already knows about my visions, so she's not going to think I'm weird if I tell her I don't know how I got here._

At the butchery he did not know exactly what to expect, and was relieved to not be surprised. _I've advanced time before. It wasn't this... abrupt, I guess, because I never really noticed it somehow. If I think about it, I might even have memories from then._

It was fortunate that the boss did not say anything about his acting weirdly, though he was not the type to say anything about that anyway. _At the moment the most likely explanation is that I was going about my life, doing normal stuff, probably hanging out with friends here and there, but because a lot of it was the same... for some reason everything just skipped ahead._

Tomoya felt cheated. He felt like some part of his life, though it might have been the same every day, had been taken from him, by whatever made it possible for him to have escaped the other timeline in the first place. Making it through the rest of the day, he did not say one unnecessary word until he said that he would see Honda tomorrow. It was difficult to resist the urge to run to the bakery, the place that had become a kind of new safe haven for him. It was a challenge just to avoid being hit by passing cars as he walked with so much on his mind.

"Oh, Okazaki, it's been a while since you have come over," Sanae said as he came in. "Nagisa, when did we last have him?"

"It was last week. He's been busy helping Ao," the girl explained matter of factly, as if to reiterate that she was not high maintenance. _I guess with me, it's a good thing you've made that into a point of pride._

"Can I talk to you after supper?" he asked quietly. She agreed without seeming to think about it at all. The Furukawa family was not still going through the meat he had given them, so he guessed they had either finished all of it or given some of it to the neighbors, which was the sensible thing to do. _Well, it doesn't matter where it ended up. It was still a gift to them, and what they decided to do with it was give some of it away._ Supper was good nonetheless, though it was clear they were not expecting him. What made things weird was the way the girl's father was glaring at him occasionally.

At long last, it was over and they went upstairs after cleaning up. Tomoya did not know exactly what to tell her, but he knew he had to start somewhere. _How do I even introduce the concept of skipping time?_

"You look like you have something on your mind," Nagisa said as she sat down on the bed. It took him a moment before he realized he was supposed to sit down next to her.

"Yeah. Did I ever tell you that there was one time I thought I skipped a few weeks? Like the time just flew by and I didn't really remember how I spent it?"

"Doesn't that happen sometimes?" she asked quietly. "You told me that most of the time, you remember more of what happened in the past day than in the past week."

"I guess that's true, but that's not what's going on this time. I can't remember anything that's happened since some point in the spring. Did anything important happen?"

It looked like she was having a hard time deciding what to tell him, since he had not told her exactly when it had started. _She looks cute when she's pondering like that. I think the last thing that happened was Ao talking about the side of the house needing to be cleaned up or something. I should have checked that as I left for work._

"Well, you made me mad once, but I forgave you, I think you spent a lot of time at your house helping your friend, something happened with your father, but you were a little ambiguous on what it was, and your boss said he was retiring next year." It sounded like a lot, but for the amount of elapsed time, he could see why it was all passed over. _I don't even know how to begin responding to that, though._

"What did I do?"

"Does it matter? I forgave you." He wanted to say that it felt like the current version of himself had not apologized yet, but the current version of himself was hardly even guilty of anything. _Well, girlfriends don't really work by those rules, I don't think._

"Let's not worry about that for the moment, then. When did that thing happen with my father? Yesterday?"

"No, it was before last week, I think, and you haven't said anything since then. I really did not think it was anything serious." _It could be that we just got into an argument or something._ "I thought you were going to ask about your boss."

"No, I'll just talk about it with him tomorrow at work. I'll find a way to ask him that doesn't reveal I don't remember anything about it."

Neither of them said anything for a moment.

"If you tell me what I did to make you mad, I'll know not to do it again," he said. "You probably don't want to bring it up again, and you probably don't want to have to go through the process of explaining it to me, but I really don't know what I did or why I did it-"

"I don't think you'll do it again," Nagisa said. "Is this the first time you've lost memories?"

"It doesn't feel like I've lost my memory, it feels like I've skipped ahead somehow. I know how ridiculous that sounds. Sometimes I think there's a purpose to... how I ended up in this timeline. Despite how much I might have enjoyed spending all that time, I guess I... I don't know, maybe I didn't need to go through it."

His girlfriend leaned back and stared up at the ceiling as if thinking about it. Since she had not noticed anything different about him, he must have been acting normally the entire time. He could not help but think that she trusted him a lot, because lying down on a bed next to where a guy was sitting was something most girls simply did not do. _It's not like it enters their heads that they'll be harmed, it just makes them uncomfortable._

"I guess," she said quietly. "I know it was weird when you told me about the dreams you had, and I should probably be used to the weirdness by now, but I still have to think about it." _Of course she would. She doesn't know if I've been replaced by someone else, or if this is the real me and the other guy was..._ He shook his head. It was easy to think that the self was the continuity of memory up to the present, but not all that easy to apply it practically.

"I don't blame you. Sorry for the weirdness I've inflicted on you." _I should probably start getting downstairs. Her parents probably don't like it when we're up here for too long._

"It's not your fault," she said, looking up at him with a soft smile. "It's not your fault any more than it's my fault for being sick."


	82. Fall

Tomoya left the Furukawa residence without notifying anyone. He had an idea that one of her parents would probably open her door eventually to see if he had stayed there, though it was a small house, so there was a good chance they would have heard him leaving. _At least I know whatever I did to make her mad wasn't taking too much physical liberties. She might forgive me for that, because she's better about forgiving people than I am, but she wouldn't have been lying down next to me._

He kind of wanted to see his father, but he knew of no way to bring up whatever happened, because he had no idea what it was. It was unlikely he had made a mistake by not telling his girlfriend about his every problem, since some things actually were going to be trivial and pointless to bring up, but the way she said it had him worried somewhat. _It's possible it's a health scare, but I feel like I would have told her about that._ Before he realized it, he found he had already walked to his old home.

Sighing a little as he knocked on the door, he guessed it was merciful that there was no response, as he had nothing specific to say, but it was really only delaying the inevitable, since he would have to say something to the old man the following day. As he turned away, the door opened.

"Tomoya?"

"Hi," he said, turning back around. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was just lost in thought. Do you ever get like that?"

"Yeah, now I know where I got it. What's on your mind?" It was possibly a less than polite question to ask, but he needed to get on the subject somehow.

"I was just thinking about my health and whether or not I should go to the doctor. I know that having a heart attack would be worse than taking a day off, but I don't want to hear him say I have to." Tomoya nodded.

"I've been a bit concerned about that as well."

"I know. You told me. To be honest, I thought it was going to be longer before we talked again, since you were upset with me."

"I forgave you," he attempted. "I decided the last thing I wanted to do was be mad at you again, so I let it go."

There was a pause.

"Do you want to come in?"

"I don't have to; I was just checking up on you."

"Please."

Tomoya walked in without further objection. _I really wasn't supposed to object the first time; he was just being polite by asking._ The home looked like it had not in years; it looked almost the same as it did when they first moved in.

"Did you clean up in here?"

"Yes. I usually kept it clean, but there were a few things that I was letting get past me. When I stopped drinking, I found I had a little more time on my hands."

There was another pause. _I'm going to have to stop bringing up lines of conversation if they're going to just end like this._

"Has anything been going on recently?" he asked, wondering if that would only be another mistake.

"I'm trying to spend more time with my coworkers," his father said. "They're mostly younger than I am, but I'm in a different office than before, so now people think of me as the wise master rather than the old drunk. Some of them have even been treating me to lunch sometimes."

"That's good. I'm sure you have a substantial amount of experience to share with them." The two of them were sitting on opposite sides of the low table. There was a pot of tea, but he could reasonably guess it was empty. "Are they in your same job description?" he asked, not sure how to phrase it.

"Yes, basically. My boss probably figures I'm going to retire soon, and I worry that if I explain my financial situation, he may think less of me. I don't know what he would do, but it might be bad for my position within the office."

"I guess you could put it differently," Tomoya suggested. "You could say things like 'oh, my son just moved out and he's trying to get married'. If you make them think I might ask you for money at some point, I guess they would understand you wanting to put off your retirement." His father nodded. It was something of a trend for managers to hire married men preferentially, because they had families for whom to provide. Empty nested widowers usually did not have such fortune.

"I'll think about it."

"I should probably get back to the house. I don't want anyone to worry about me."

"Okay. I'll see you sometime, son."

The sendoff stayed with him as he left and walked back to the house. He still had some time to do his exercises, and he doubted he would really need to see Ao or Yasui, because they knew what he had been doing the last few days and would not lose it over missing him in the evening once. _Is that the first time he's called me 'son' in ten years?_

Waking up the following morning, he had a moderate headache, but fortunately he did not feel sick at all. Getting into work, there was a lot to do as soon as he stepped in the door, almost making him forget about what he wanted to ask his boss. _Well, that's not the only thing on my mind. I can't help but wonder what I did to Nagisa._

"We've got a delivery, Okazaki," Honda said, showing him the address.

"Okay." _That kind of takes priority right this second anyway._ He walked out of the shop and out to the car, only there was no car. _I guess it's close enough to walk. It's still weird that the car isn't here. Is it being repaired or something?_

The address was near the old mechanic shop the Miyazawa gang had been using as a prison for their hostages, though that was long enough ago he was sure he was the only one who still cared that it took place at all. He hoped the criminals the police had caught would be in jail for longer than that, but he knew how mob-connected individuals could get out of things. _I'll have to be on the lookout for them. In five years or so, I'll probably be able to say I'm most likely not the target of their revenge, but before that I can't be too careful._

It was a small delivery, so he guessed it was just some individual without a lot of time on his hands, but when he got to the address, it was a walkup apartment and he took the stairs to find an older lady in a wheelchair waiting at the top. She already had the payment with the exorbitant tip in hand, and insisted that he keep the change when he did not have the cash on him to break the large notes she was using to pay him, and he left with a smile and a guilty look in his eyes at the same time. _What the hell was that? I thanked her, and she said it was fine, but I really have to be able to make change for whatever the customer has in the future._

The more he thought about it, the weirder it seemed that the older lady had no problem with his excessive rate, but he guessed he did lower it from where Honda had it initially. _Wait a minute- how long has it been since she's had fresh meat?_ It occurred to him that she could be some kind of pensioner or a disability recipient and have no obligation to leave her home, but without the ability, she would probably never eat out unless she had someone taking care of her. He found himself wishing his own father never ended up like that, but really the only way he could afford such a fate was if he died before that, and that seemed unlikely to make anything better for anyone.

Tomoya sighed as he walked back, taking care not to delay. _I know I should be happy I expanded a little on the delivery service because it works out well for people who can't leave their homes, but the thought of my father ending up like that is just sad. Even when I hated him I don't think I ever wanted that to happen to him._

At the shop there were two customers staring at the display and he wasted no time getting into position. He had a thought that the housewife was making lunch, because he had seen her there once or twice and apparently her husband had a long lunch break and came home sometimes. _Weird how I'm getting to know the customers already. Of course, I probably skipped something that'll make me look like an idiot later._

He hoped that at the very least, his job performance had been exemplary. It was obvious that any version of himself would rather hang out with friends than get back to work as quickly as possible, but without memories of that taking place, he might as well not have done it. _I mean, they'll probably be better off if I visited them. They'll probably like me more. Maybe I'll go see Kotomi's family after work. I can assume they helped Ao or myself take care of the weird molding or something on the side of the house._

Apart from the rush in the morning, it was a pretty quiet day, and he ate a lunch he brought with him rather than go out, which must have been a habit he picked up at some point. _It'll save me a little bit._ He found he was also hoping he had developed a newfound commitment to austerity, though it would be worse for the both of them if he had not done anything with Nagisa the whole time. _That wouldn't be why she's mad at me._

When he got off work, he found himself walking to the old neighborhood, passing by the house where he used to live for no particular reason. It was not the first time he had seen it since having left, but it looked different somehow. _Is there some other family living there now? I guess they could have changed it up a little._

"Okazaki?" the voice of an old man asked.

"Oh, good afternoon sir." It was Kotomi's adoptive father, taking a walk for health purposes, presumably. "How are you and yours?"

"Well, our daughter's been busy, so no calls from her. My wife's feeling a bit under the weather. She'll be better in a day or so."

"I see." He knew it was silly to remind himself about his girlfriend's condition just because of that, but for some reason it came up all the same. "I'm glad to see you're doing your best to keep healthy."

"Haha, so I can go over to your house and advise you if something goes wrong again?" Tomoya was almost certain he had asked the man for help, but he still developed a sheepish look as it was brought up.

"Well, I was thinking of my father. I've kind of been having a hard time persuading him to take care of himself." _I don't need to embarrass him by bringing up his old drinking habits or his financial situation._ "He kind of kicked me out last spring, pretty much as soon as I got a job, which is fine, but that kind of prevented me from looking after him in any way."

There was a pause.

"Do you think maybe that's what he wants?"

"What?"

"Well, don't you think it'd be embarrassing to have your son look after you?"

"He's never had a problem with that before-" He stopped. "I mean, I have to admit I'd be pretty embarrassed-" He stopped again. "Do you think that's really what it is?"

"It might be. You'd know him better than I do."

 _How am I supposed to help him if he wants to be proud of himself? What am I supposed to do?_ He tried to come up with a simple answer, but he was faced with something he had honestly not considered before. _Did it annoy me that my father was always so humble? He never used to mind it when I acted like I didn't need him._

"I guess. It's just that... well, I've got some good reasons to be concerned about his health, and his doctor agrees, at least from what he's told me." He looked back toward the house. "I don't know what to do."

"What if you don't have to do anything?" the old man asked.

"What?"

"That's the second time you've asked that, son." The way he said it was more amused than annoyed, which contrasted with how he thought Honda would have responded. "It's pretty simple. He doesn't want to live forever."

"I mean, neither do I, but- doesn't that get harder the closer you get?" He could not for the life of him see how anyone wanted to live to be a hundred and ten, unless that person happened to be a hundred and nine. "Isn't he just killing himself?"

"Well, you can decide to try to live forever, or you can not decide to live forever. There's one approach in there that saves a whole lot of time and worry over something that can't be helped." It was the old man's turn to stare off into space. "I've given some thought to it. Everything my wife and I have done for Kotomi, our whole legacy, it'll still be here when we're gone. That's what's important."

He almost wanted to roll his eyes at the idea of an old man who was seriously not worrying about dying, but at least he could defend his position. _All the same, I can't treat my father like that._ He sighed deeply as he remembered something he said of himself, once upon a time. _Just because he acts like he doesn't want help, doesn't mean he doesn't need it._

Thanking the man before going home, he was back in time for supper with Ao and Yasui. Since he had not seen them for basically two days straight, he felt he could be certain he had an excuse to ask them how things were. He decided to start with a work-related question.

"How's work?"

"I'm still let go," Ao said, sighing. "If you're asking about the job search, which I guess is kind of my work at this point, that's not going any better."

There was a pause. _Damn. I really didn't expect he'd have been let go._

"Do you think it's going to be hard to find a new job?"

"Yeah. Not many businesses are looking to hire people who used to build bombs." Tomoya decided to forgo the obvious question of how anyone found out about that. _It must have been in the police report._ He felt instead a modicum of sympathy for the guys who stayed in the gangs to adulthood, since it was easy to make a mistake as a young boy and then not be able to make up for it later. His friend, however, had less of an excuse.

"Well, maybe you can talk to someone who doesn't know about that," he suggested as Yasui got up from the table.

"It'll be in the other end of the country," Ao estimated. "Sapporo would be a good place to start." He sighed audibly. "I'm worried Eri won't like that, though. I'd be putting her into a difficult position no matter what."

He tried to think about it. There was no way he could move and pay for an apartment in another part of the country; they were still making payments on the mortgage, so they would have to sell what they owned of the place. Even if they got a really good price on the house, they could not expect to find a new house right when they arrived, and then that was if he even got a job there. It was about then that it occurred to him his own situation was even more precarious. _My name isn't on the paperwork; I'm just paying them to let me live here under the table._

"Well, maybe we should start with something closer. Someone might not know about it by coincidence, or might be willing to give you a chance." He paused. "I know that... anything I say is going to sound like stupid advice, or like I'm talking from a high horse, but... I can't think of anything else. I really don't know anything about chemical engineering or the chemicals industry in general. I guess you could try getting a job with someone who only deals with a select formula. Brewers, maybe. They hire chemical engineers, right?"

"It's not nearly that simple, but that's an idea," Ao sighed again. "I'm really grateful for the fact that you're trying; it just seems like you've never heard any of this before."

"Sorry. I guess I tried to look at it with a new perspective."

"Well, don't be. It might work, somehow."


	83. Responsibility

Tomoya was angry with himself. Well, that was inaccurate. He was not as angry with himself as he was with whatever it was that made him advance through time. _Apparently I've had that conversation with Ao before, and now he thinks I've forgotten it. Well, he might think that. I hope he doesn't._ Not for the first time, he supposed he could just tell people all the weird things about his life from the dreams to the time skips, but not only would he be considered insane, he would disturb his friends with a reality about which they simply did not need to know. How could he tell Sakagami, for example, that she was trying to drag him out of a slump by showing off her career? _I know I can't tell Kyou what happened in the dream about her. That's the last thing she needs to know._

Getting to sleep eventually, after having worn himself out exercising and worrying himself into a headache, he woke up with another pounding sensation in his head, thinking he was going to be a few minutes late for work until he got there, finding he was actually a few minutes early, as Honda had not arrived himself. Unlocking the doors with a shrug, he straightened up his uniform and started cleaning up the place. It seemed like, sometimes, he had a second chance at life and he had to remember to be grateful for it, because otherwise he would have ended up in the other timeline, but the reason he had to remind himself was because averting bad futures was not as easy as it seemed. _Wouldn't you know it; it's not just the bad futures from my dreams, because there are other possible bad futures that haven't even happened yet._

As the boss arrived and started telling him about the shipment that was coming in any minute, he could not stop thinking about Ao's situation. _I've put it on myself to avert the possibility of his not finding a job and having to move. Why am I thinking about it like that, though? Did I just get used to seeing everything as fate? High school must have been more formative for me than I realized._

Trying to think about it in the context of helping his friend, the problem was basically the same, though he hoped it would help him think of something more out-of-the-box, and also hopefully something he had not already suggested without having remembered it. Tomoya expected he looked somewhat distracted as he loaded the meat into the locker, but he could basically do that on muscle memory, so there was no complaint from the butcher, who went to deal with the first few customers and left him to finish up.

It crossed his mind that he could call Mitsurugi or someone to see if there were any insight to be had about employment prospects for chemical engineers, but he really did not know how to begin the conversation. _I have to try thinking of something for the short term. I'm willing to bet the last thing either Ao or Yasui want to do is kick me out, but I can't let circumstance push them to it, not for my sake or for theirs._

Getting a roommate was an idea; he could sleep on the futon if he had to, not that he would like it. There was really no one he wanted to have move in more than Nagisa, of course, but he highly doubted her parents would approve, and she was not employed, meaning it would be financially pointless. As he was called to bring out a cut of beef to put through the slicer for an old man, the idea of inviting his father occurred to him. _He wouldn't be paying rent, but he could sell the old place and he'd pay off his own debt. Maybe he'll be happier getting to know my friends and eating home-cooked meals. Sooner or later, between his job and mine, we'd have enough money to just buy the place off the bank, and then they could move if they had to._

There was another complication with moving, he knew, since Yasui still had classes, though he hoped she could find a job wherever. _Yeah, even under the best of circumstances, it's still better if we find her husband something to do in town._

"Something on your mind?" Honda asked during a lull, while he was busying himself sharpening knives and hoping not to cut his own finger.

"Yeah. My friend's been looking for a new job." _Doesn't sound that concerning._ "That sort of thing happens, but he's not got the best background."

"How's that?"

"He used to be part of a gang." _He's lucky that bomb never went off._ "The police probably know about it, so I'd guess everyone else knows about it."

"Well, maybe he should have thought of that."

"I don't have a lot of sympathy for gang members either, but he actually kind of did. The whole reason he was willing to put up with all the illegal activity was the fact that he got money for it, and he wanted that to provide a life for his girlfriend. I guess he thought he could get out and just put it behind him, but because of a few of the things he did, he can't expect everyone to just forget and pretend that never happened." He was avoiding exhaustive detail for more than one reason, and the butcher was sharp enough to see that.

"Can't really give any advice," the older man said. "I could tell you you're better of not worrying about it because he's lying in the bed he's made, but I doubt you'd see it that way." Tomoya had a hard time interpreting that as a complement.

"It's better that he finds something to do than just going to prison for the rest of his life. He's not going to do anything like that again."

"How do you know?"

"I know him. He's a friend of mine. I've been living in his house for... I don't know, months now." He had thought that anyone would see that as a perfectly sufficient explanation, but Honda's expression was unchanged.

"Have his basic reasons for committing crimes changed?"

"What?"

"Hasn't broken up with that girl, has he?"

"No, they're married."

"You want to tell me why he cares about the law all of a sudden?"

He stopped sharpening.

"Are you saying that he only wanted to do things legitimately as long as the circumstances worked out for him, and that as soon as that changed, he'd be back at it?"

"Most people who live in nice homes and have a future couldn't tell you if they care about doing the right thing," the boss explained. "For most of my youth, I really couldn't. It was only when I was just starting out as a butcher and struggling that I could tell you I had principles." He thought of something he told Nagisa. _A strong man is just a man with his priorities straightened out._

"Okay, so you knew I'd be a good employee after the whole gang problem?" he asked. In reality, he knew he had earned the employee of the month award for every month until his death, but there was no way of giving him credit for his actions, which were not strictly legal, without acknowledging that they had taken place.

"Yeah, that gave me a good idea of what your principles were. There were times before that I doubted you, but after that you've pretty much been fine. Anyway, remember what I've told you and you should be fine."

_Easier said than done. He's probably been grooming me as his replacement these past few weeks and I can't remember anything. At least he still wants to work at it a while longer._

There were more customers after a quick lunch of leftovers and the day ended without much else happening after that. _If I get paid in the next few days, I don't think I can afford to invest any of it. I'll just have to put it all toward paying off the house._ He knew there was still not enough, and that would be the case even if Yasui picked up a part time job somewhere.

As he walked to see his father, he passed under Yoshino.

"Hi, Okazaki. I haven't seen you in a while, though they say that in absence, the heart grows fonder. Have you been able to live your dreams?"

"Working on it," he said, smiling slightly. _At least my problems amuse me._ "How did you ever afford the house?" he asked. "It seems like they never quite pay for themselves."

"Perhaps you forget my troubled past," the former musician said. "I suppose when I said I lost everything, there were indeed some things I did not lose. People have said that my language takes a turn for the dramatic sometimes."

"Wow, that's rude of them. I'm going to try to convince my father to move in with us."

"The wisdom of old age is not something to be underestimated," Yoshino agreed, nodding sagely. "I can see why you would add him to your current household."

As he walked away, he had a thought that his old friend was perhaps the worst person he could have asked for advice, having previously been staggeringly wealthy and never having been inclined to practicality. _Did he actually run out of his old touring money, or does he do the job every day just to feel like a good citizen?_

His thoughts stayed with him to the doorstep, precluding him from mentally rehearsing his proposal. There was no way, however, that it could possibly fail, so there was no reason for concern. It was what would work out the best for everyone. He knocked on the door.

"Good evening, Tomoya. Are you going to visit me more regularly?" he asked, chuckling slightly.

"Well, I was thinking about doing better than that, actually. Would you like to move in with us?" he asked, deciding he might as well put his cards on the table.

"I remember you brought this up once, in a less direct way. I did not indicate I did want to move." _Damn. Of course I've brought this up before; it's obvious. I must have brought it up soon after I heard about Ao getting laid off._

"Oh," he said, trying to let his mind catch up.

"Would you care to stay for dinner?" he asked.

"I would like that, actually." He walked inside and tried to plan what he would say next. _I didn't know he'd be hostile to the idea. Is he attached to this place?_

His father would not allow him to help dinner get out more quickly. They ate egg over rice with pickled vegetables." _He's getting better at making his own food. I hope he finds it rewarding._

"How are things with you, Tomoya? I feel that not all is well."

"You could say that. My housemate hasn't found a new job yet." _I've probably already told him he lost it._

"Ah. I assume you have been trying to help him?"

"Yeah. Some people are being difficult about that, though." _That's too harsh._ "It's the companies. They don't want to hire him because he's got a record."

"Do you blame them?"

"I guess I can't, but they have to see he's not a dangerous man. He was a good employee the last place he worked." His father nodded.

"I've always tried to be a good employee. It's not always fair. Sometimes others are just better employees, and they only need so many. I lost my job once or twice when you were a boy."

"I never noticed." _I thought it was weird when you were wearing a uniform every day for six months, but I didn't put it together at the time._

"It was a stressful experience. The last thing I wanted was to give you that stress. You were only a child."

_That must have been when we were still a family, then._

"Well, I guess you don't need to be told about my problems, then," he said, getting up and cleaning up after himself. He had not always been terribly good about doing chores, but at some point in high school it felt like a way of putting the old man to shame, but he doubted it ever had the intended effect. _He probably just thought of me as a dutiful son, not that I ever deserved that._

"What are your problems? Perhaps I can help you."

"I didn't need your help when I was in high school. Why would I need your help now?" He started to walk out.

"Well, you never brought up your problems until a minute ago. That was the first time you said you had a problem. Now I want to know what it is."

There was something off-putting about the simple way his father talked, even when he was answering questions.

"How can a man who can't take care of his own problems help anyone else?" he asked, unexpectedly angry. "Why is it, that when I ask you if you want help getting out of debt, you don't, but then when I have some minor financial issues, I need your help? You saw me as an adult like six months ago. You saw me as an adult a few years before that."

"I'm not an old man, Tomoya," his father explained without a hint of anger. "I suppose I'm older than you, but most people are. I am nearing retirement age, but I am not on death's door."

"Well, it isn't for lack of trying," he muttered. "You only just stopped drinking yourself into nothingness; you could've been gone already if you hadn't stopped-"

"Tell me, then. When you were dependent on me, why did you not express concern about my drinking habits?"

"I didn't care," he admitted. "I thought I never wanted to see you again, and you didn't think I needed you at all, so I had to work under that assumption. I didn't know about your debt-"

"I would not have told you about something like that."

"Why not? I already knew about the drinking." _I had every reason to be worried about you. I just couldn't afford to be worried about you, because there was nothing I could do._

"The drinking, you understood. You would not understand the bank statements."

Tomoya thought about it, though it seemed like an explanation that just now came to his father. Drinking was not a terribly difficult concept for children to understand; their parents were upset, they drank; they became more upset. He had to admit that by contrast, any kind of evidence that his father was going into a manageable debt would have just seemed like random numbers on a page. _I wasn't the most active student, even in middle school when my coaches said I had to study if I wanted to stay on the team._

"Fine. I'm done here."

He got up and walked out, not meeting any resistance as expected. Kotomi's father had been right, at least in his estimation. _He just wants to die all by himself. The best I can hope for is if I don't inherit any of the debt._

For once in his life, he wanted to know what had happened in the other timeline. He wanted to know if he had ever mended things with his father, or if he forgot the old man and that was what had made him feel guilty about it. _It has to be one of those circumstances. If things stayed the same as they were in high school until he died, I really can't say I'd have cared. It may have created some kind of problem for me, but it wouldn't ruin my life._ Not for the first time, he wondered if that really had been the calamity in the first place.

He wanted to see Nagisa, he knew he had to see his housemates, if for no other reason than so he could offer to sleep on the futon for the benefit of any other housemate to help pay down the mortgage, but even that plan had a good chance of being ill-fated. Ao was not going to be content to just not have a job. He had more knowledge of chemistry than Tomoya had of anything, and that could simply not be allowed to go to waste, but what he valued even more than his own job was his wife's chance of being a singer, and he would have to pull the trigger on the move quickly before she gave that up.

"Hi, Yasui," he said as he came in. She responded, but he could not hear her properly, as she was turned around. It was a bit odd that she would not turn to face him, but he let it go. _Most likely she's busy with something._ "I'd be happy to sleep on the futon if it meant getting another housemate to help pay down the mortgage. Kyou's got a job now, so she might be interested. Just worried about how that would look." He sighed. "Would you happen to know anyone?"

"I could not think of anyone who would want to live here," she said quietly, still not turning around. _Something tells me it's none of my business._

He did his exercises and went to bed.


	84. Parallels

The following day was a blur until work, and for a moment he felt like he was skipping again, though he guessed that happened to normal people sometimes. Tomoya did his very best to concern himself with his job whenever he was doing it, yet he could not help but think of home. _If I've been putting everything I can spare from my paycheck into stocks, I haven't really been helping pay down the mortgage. I know it's a wise investment and it'll pay for itself sooner or later, but I can't convince anyone else that I'm not just wasting money on some low-value company._

He wanted to go to the library and check out a book on investing, if for no other reason than to make sure he was doing it properly, but he had work right in front of him. Remembering that during school, his classes had become a welcome distraction from his problems up until the point where his problems were so terrible he could not focus on class even when that was what he would have preferred, he wondered if there were any way to keep work in the sweet spot. _No, there probably isn't. It doesn't make sense to try to manipulate my levels of stress like that; I just have to learn to focus on work because that's what I should be doing for the sake of my future._

There was a customer who wanted a super quick delivery, and he did not know whether or not to be glad to be alone once more with his thoughts, but he was glad for the tip. It was actually worth consideration whether he could or could not get more customers to order rather than going into the store. He knew that he had increased the amount by decreasing the percentage of the tip, but unless he had a spreadsheet in front of him, he would have a hard time calculating exactly how much more he should lower it, if at all.

By the time he reached the address, the man who answered the door looked annoyed that he had come on foot, but paid anyway, even though the product had been in the sun and the delivery itself was a few minutes late. In turn, he was annoyed at Honda for the whole car situation, but it seemed like a bad idea to ask what had happened to the vehicle if he had already been told. He could not think of any way of phrasing the question that he could be sure had not been said already, but there was another trick up his sleeve.

"The customer was annoyed about the wait," he said as soon as he came back.

"Didn't just skip the payment, did he?"

"No."

"Probably should have ordered it sooner if he wanted it sooner."

"He must have thought we still had the car around." _I'm not annoyed that we don't have it; he might have some reason for not having it around; I'm annoyed that he seems content to antagonize the delivery customers when we always treat the walk-in customers well, especially the regulars._ They had a list in the back of all the regulars and what they usually ordered. It was nothing, he expected, next to what department stores with rewards programs did, but it was enough to make suggestions of new things to try every so often.

A regular came in and interrupted their conversation, causing the two of them to return to being amiable, though not quite bubbly, which was Honda's preferred approach to the appropriate attitude for a job that depended so much on customers. This was one of the older housewives who always wanted ground beef for some reason, and they were plenty happy to indulge without asking, though he guessed it was hamburgers or dumplings or something. Honda knew her husband was a mid-level manager at a factory and asked how he was most of the times she came in.

"Oh, he's fine, though he thinks he wants to buy a few stocks for retirement," she explained, a bit bemused. "As long as we always have plenty to spend on shoes, I don't mind."

"Well, here you go," he said, handing her the product for the payment she had already given to the boss. _She's been here so many times she doesn't need to be told how much it costs. I guess inflation isn't really catching up to her._ "You wouldn't happen to have any spots open for chemical engineers, would you?"

"Oh, I'm afraid I wouldn't know a thing about that, dear," she said, on her way out. "I'm sure the listings are all available." _Yeah, I'm sure they are._

He had forgotten to bring leftovers for lunch, though he doubted there was anything in the fridge at the time. Only confident with cooking simple things himself, he mostly left it to Yasui, who was happy for the ingredients he provided and attested she would be bored without the opportunity to experiment. Taking it as an excuse to go to the bakery, he found Akio was manning the register. _Well, this might give me an opportunity to get on his good side. I can't let him know about the whole situation. He might take me in for a week or something, if for no other reason than because his wife and daughter would be otherwise upset, but I can't let it get to that point in the first place._

"Good day," he said, trying to be polite. "Is the wife teaching kids?"

"Yeah; fall is kind of like the busiest season for her. She takes off a good bit of winter, but I guess you know why." He nodded, buying a curry bread for what seemed like a little more than usual.

"I guess that's how you get kids to play baseball in the park."

"I'll have you know the kids invite me," Akio said without a trace of annoyance. _If anything, that's the sound of joking._

As he ate and talked with the older man, he had the idea that he might actually feel bad for Tomoya. _I know he's got nothing against me; he really just doesn't want me as a son in law._ Wondering what kind of man the ideal father wanted for his daughter, he guessed it would have to be someone with a brighter future than he had and always treated her perfectly. There was a rumor, he knew, that if a girl's parents heard one bad thing about some guy, they'd never let it go, so he had some reason to be concerned about any period during which Nagisa had been upset with him, because he had some idea she relayed most things to her parents. _Well, she probably didn't tell them about the last time we made out._

He went back to work promptly, not wanting to give his boss any reason at all to reconsider retirement. It was going to be a challenge managing the place himself, but it was a real, permanent career, and he would be part of the community, or at least feel like he was. As soon as he got back, Honda set him to cleaning up the bathroom, which he had previously done himself. It seemed like the kind of task one would shove off onto an assistant as soon as possible, but there must have been some specific need for the ultimate height of cleanliness, if not for some other reason he had to do it himself.

There were a few more customers and the day ended. It made him feel like he skipped ahead again, but he reminded himself that forgetting most days was normal. At some point he noted that his perception of the past day was longer than his perception of the past week because of how much he had forgotten, and he was relatively sure it had always been like that, even before he started getting memories of the other time. Oddly, it was getting hard to remember when exactly that started, because it had a way of feeling like he might have just forgotten. He knew he was avoiding Nagisa once upon a time, though he no longer had any idea why.

As he stopped by the grocery store and bought a few things with the coins he had on him, he decided it made sense that he would start to forget work, because at some point he would be looking at things he had already seen a thousand times. He would have to be careful, of course, since he knew that was how the experts made mistakes, by assuming everything would always be the same and making mistakes, but there was no way to force his brain to take it in every time he stripped down a chicken carcass. _There's no way Honda has the slightest idea how many he's done at this point._

It seemed Yasui was visiting her parents; he vaguely remembered something about that being mentioned in passing. Ao was on the futon, staring up into space. He felt like asking about how the job search was going, but he could take a reasonable guess. _I should probably offer to find us a roommate._

"Did the wife tell you I had an idea to ask around for another housemate and sleep on the futon?" he asked. _Let's hope there's not a problem there._

"No." He sighed. "That's probably not a bad idea. It might get the mortgage into a manageable region in a few weeks."

"You seem disappointed."

"Well, I didn't want to have to ask you about having another roommate. We actually had that discussion maybe a week ago. Ideally, it would either be a roommate sleeping in here, or well, you'd be sleeping in here, but neither of us were going to bring it up. It seemed just about as bad to ask you to ask around for someone who wants to sleep on the floor, because we weren't optimistic about finding anyone into that."

He did not really have anything to say to that. It neither surprised nor offended him that his housemates were having conversations without him; he was hardly at the house all the time, and Ao's unemployment had reminded him that was a nice problem to have. He thought about making dinner for a second and decided to just cook up some rice.

"We figured we'd be apologizing to you one way or another. Either you'd have to do something you didn't really want to do, or we'd have to leave. It just kind of sucks and we're sorry," the man said, still staring straight up.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Can't afford it. I can't even think about it, not with how hard you and Eri have been trying. I just... I really fucked up with her, not with marrying her; that's the only reason I still have her now that her parents figured out I lost my job, but... I don't want to get into it." He sighed audibly. "I told her it was the wrong time to go visit her parents, but apparently they've been expecting her and they're going to ask why she isn't there. At least it's sweater weather."

"You didn't-"

"I said I was sorry. There's nothing to be done about it now." His fists clenched, but Tomoya could tell he was only angry at himself. "Thing is, she'll probably be even more upset if she finds out I didn't even look today."

There was something painfully familiar about the scene, though he doubted that the calamity of the other timeline was just losing a job, unless he also had a criminal record. Whatever the case was, he could not make himself angry at his housemate. He decided on a different approach.

"Don't tell me anything you wouldn't tell your wife."

"I know that. I'll tell her when she gets back, or tomorrow, if the stars align and I find a job then. You've got every right to be mad at me, so does she and she probably is, but she doesn't want to distract me right now. She also doesn't want to let her parents find out she's upset with me, because she's going to ask them for a loan, or bait them into offering it, but even if she does that, she'll probably have to ask."

"I'm not mad at you," he said after a moment.

"We know we weren't your first choice for housemates."

"I figured that didn't need to be said," Tomoya said before Ao could continue. "I really didn't know you except in passing. I knew more about Harada- well, when I knew her by that name, and I knew she was a bit more talented than her friends in the choral club and that was about it. I don't think I had two real conversations with her before she told me she was going to get married, and then I heard about it through the grapevine and decided to join your little venture. The thing is, that's fine. You don't always get your first choice."

"Doesn't mean you have to like it."

"Nope. It's just a matter of attitude, or at least that's all you can control. You try to make things work, and sometimes they do. If I'd been expecting to room with my best friend the rest of my life, I'd be kidding myself. I didn't have a lot of good adult influences in my life, but I figured out at some point that your friends weren't going to stay the same forever."

"I didn't have a lot of good adult influences in my life either."

"It's alright. I don't think I learned anything in high school until the last year, but I turned out okay. If you didn't learn anything about being a grown man until two years in, you just have to get started and get it done by the third. I'm not going to spit up cliches; you don't need to hear them. You don't need to keep track of it; just do the best you can every day." He thought for a moment before continuing. "You've never felt like you couldn't do anything before this?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Well, there's not much avoiding running into that once in your life. Either you grow up thinking you're perfect at everything or you grow up thinking you can't handle anything, so that basically becomes your natural state. It's not worth trying to figure out where you are with that; just do the best you can.

"I mean, yeah, you do the best you can under any circumstance. What if you think that the best you can do is what you've already done?"

"You've got a point there," Tomoya admitted. "I guess thinking like that would be an issue, unless you were right about it. I mean, if you're right about it, then you can't have any regrets. If you're wrong about it, well, why would you have it wrong? You'd have to think of every possible thing you could do in order to think you've done your best, and you'd have to have tried them or at least explored the possibility-"

"Thanks, Okazaki." He shrugged off Ao's interruption. "It's getting kind of late. I'll be up a little longer, but you generally like to knock yourself out exercising before bed. If you're really going to be sleeping in here going forward, you might as well get as much rest as you can."

"There's no need to be pretentious about it," he joked. "I slept on a futon the whole time I was living with the Furukawa family, so I'm used to it. I'm pretty sure that whole family sleeps on futons."

"Really?"

"Yeah; I don't really ask people what they do with their money. It'll be fine. To be honest, I'm still kind of worried about finding someone. It'll have to be someone with a job, and someone who'd be willing to live in a house with three other people. Technically the last person I want to ask is Kyou, since she's already taken care of her living arrangements-"

"Yeah, not to mention how it would look-"

"I just don't know anyone else who stayed in town after graduation. Well, there's Sugisaka and Nishina-"

"Apparently they're rooming together," Ao said, serious again. "They've got a good arrangement and they'd have to come as a set."

"Do both of them make more than I do?"

"No idea; haven't calculated it." _Can't tell if he's lying._ "Didn't you say you had some good news about your pay a while back? Don't tell me your stocks finally came through for you."

"No, it'll be a while before that starts paying off. I don't have that many shares anyway. I've decided that all of my take home that I can spare is going toward the mortgage. I was probably talking about how my boss is planning to retire sometime within the year."

"Is that the fiscal year?"

"I'd feel bad asking him. I don't think I'll own the place, but as manager I'll be salaried. Then when I'm old, I'll have my own assistant," he said, voicing a weird thought. _I don't think that was from the other timeline. That, I'm almost certain, was just my imagination getting away from me._


	85. Understudies

He asked a customer about where the library was the next day at work, noting that Honda was not there, but the door was unlocked for some reason. _I guess he could've got here early and then left for some reason._ The customer, a middle-aged lady, seemed more confused.

"How long have you lived in this town?"

"All my life. Should be about nineteen years now. I don't really keep track."

"How do you not know where the library is?"

"I don't think I ever went there. Up until I asked you, I wasn't sure we had one." _Well, that's uncharitable. If one school has two libraries, we've got to have tons of books lying around._

"Well, it's on this side of town..." He decided not to write down the directions because it might have been impolite, and he still had not finished the customer's order. For some reason she wanted exactly forty percent of a kilogram of pork, and he had to weigh it out as a professional courtesy. She scanned a card for it.

With how old-fashioned the butcher seemed to be, he was a bit surprised the reader had ever been installed, but he guessed it was reasonable the old man would want to be accommodating to the in-store customers. There were a good amount of small businesses in town that did not have them, but it was entirely possible it was part of the brand or they wanted to serve a specific clientele.

When the boss did not show up even right before he usually took his lunch break, Tomoya grew concerned that it was a test of some sort. _Maybe he wants to see if I'll stay in the shop when I would normally take a break?_ He did not think it really worked as a test, because the old man knew he took a lunch every so often, but he shrugged and went with it. It was worth considering that he might have been informed of this absence ahead of time, and then forgot about it either because of the time skip or just normal forgetfulness that happened to everyone.

Eating lunch in the shop, he was rewarded with a single customer who wanted him to tenderize the pork for cutlet purposes. He thought about saying the shop did not really do that, but said it would be an extra fifty yen instead, since he was hardly doing anything else. Grabbing a few cuts and stepping into the back, he beat it with the back of a cleaver until he was reasonable certain it was tenderized, and took no shame at all in pocketing the chump change. There was virtually no way the idea that the shop did on-site tenderizing would get out, and if it did, he would just say he made the customer pay extra. _I mean, it was a pretty rickety old man. Maybe he didn't want to hit it with a meat mallet or didn't think he could do it properly. Who knows, we might expand our clientele to the physically weak cohort._

He did not see the boss come in for the rest of the day, deciding to close a few minutes after it was time, just in case. _He had to have unlocked the door because I know we locked it yesterday. I guess it's his shop and he can just take off whenever, but I really wish I knew what was going on._ Walking to the library; he was surprised at how close it was. It was kind of in the opposite direction of the school and there was a shortcut he discovered by walking through the foliage between two buildings, so he got there in time for them to be closing up.

"Hello, is it okay if I look around for a minute?" he asked the girl at the desk, who was turned around.

"It should be faster if you tell me what you want," the girl said, rounding. Her light brown hair moved as she turned.

"Miyazawa? What are you doing here?"

"Call me Yukine. I work here on weekends and whenever I don't feel like going to class." _That's right; she was never that into going to class. Well, that's because she managed a gang and needed to be available._

"You're not still thinking about college, are you?"

"No," she said, entirely seriously. "If I applied anywhere the most basic research would probably inform them of my past. That would be bad."

"Yeah, I agree. This place didn't do any research on you?"

"No, one of the old teachers works here. She knew me from the reference room and offered me the job without thinking about it." She looked thoughtful a moment. "I should probably graduate, but that should be easy enough." _Well, yeah; even Sunohara graduated._

"What do you do?"

"Well, I can generally point people to where they can find the books they need. I have a few other jobs; it's a lot of little things."

"Okay, well, I was looking for a book on stock trading."

"I'll take you right there!" He followed her around the corner. There were three floors of the library, but apparently the books on finances were on the first. "Are you looking for theory or more like a self-help book?"

"The second one, simpler the better. I'm pretty sure no one can actually predict the stock market without insider information."

"Once upon a time, no one could predict the eclipse. Did you know that there were several instances in modern history where knowledge of astronomy was abused in that exact way?"

"I'll keep that in mind," he said as she handed him a thin book. _She might be right. I don't remember anything about robots or something figuring out how to predict asset values, but maybe that's part of the future that I never actually saw. It won't be for a few decades at least._

Deciding it was best to go ahead and get out since they were closing, Tomoya let Yukine get a library card for him at the desk. While she was entering his data into the computer, he had an odd question.

"Where are you living now?"

"I'm still in my family home. I inherited it after my brother died." _That's right; she either didn't have any parents or she was emancipated._ "Why?"

"I was just wondering if you needed something permanent, but it seems you've got it taken care of." She gave him an odd look that he could not quite identify before he left. Going back home was the obvious thing to do, since he could not think of anyone else he needed to see. _I'll see Nagisa tomorrow. We can't go out or anything, but I'll see her._

At work he had a thought of asking the Yoshino family for a loan, at least if it did not work out with the Harada family, but he knew they needed the money as they were expecting a baby and they probably needed even more for whenever Fuko got out of the hospital. It was kind of a weight off his shoulders to know that she would eventually wake up, and it would only be in a relatively short amount of time, but nothing about the circumstances made him want to relive that vision. _I should see them, though. The wife might not be getting a lot of visitors this time of year._

When he reached the house, he caught them as Yasui was starting dinner. He had almost wanted to do something to give her a break since she had just returned, but she had already started. She had not removed her sweater, even though it was probably a warm enough day, so he guessed her bruises were still there. _I honestly don't know enough about girls to know whether or not she wants me to know she has them. She'd probably prefer I didn't._

"Oh, hi Okazaki," she said as he came in. "We were wondering if you'd be joining us. Usually whenever you don't show up we just put the rest in the fridge. _That makes sense. I'll probably be the one eating it, for what it's worth._

"How was the visit with the folks?"

"I enjoyed seeing them again. They had their doubts I would be happy, but fortunately they don't know our situation yet," she explained without turning around.

"Oh, that's good, I guess." _They might not give her a loan if they don't think she needs it, though-_

"They only gave us a small loan, but it's no interest," Ao explained, sighing a bit. "I mean, of course it's no interest, they wouldn't be charging their own family, but they'll probably be popping in every so often. I'll just have to be out of the house looking for a job. I asked a few people today."

"That's great!" Yasui said, still not turning around. _Does she know how discouraged he's been?_

"Why did they give you a loan if they don't know you're having trouble? How did you ask for it?"

There was a pause. It seemed the lady of the house was glad to have focusing on supper as a reason not to answer.

"We told them we were going to try for a baby."

"Oh, that's pretty clever. Even if in a few months, it's not showing, you can just say you've been trying, but it's taking a while," Tomoya observed.

There was a much longer pause. It could almost be called pregnant.

He looked back and forth between them. He crossed his arms. Sighing, he turned his gaze back to Ao.

"We're not certain of anything yet, but..."

"Fuck."

"Don't be mad-" Yasui said, turning around.

"I'm not mad at you-"

"Well, you should be-" She turned back to keep something from burning. "I'm the one who said-"

"I'm not mad at either of you. If I stubbed my toe on something, I'd probably say 'fuck'. I mean... it's not out for nine months, right?"

"Yeah. It's something we'll have to handle together."

"I guess you could ask Yoshino-sensei about what it's like for her, what she's been doing, and all that." _If I marry Nagisa, we'll let this be a lesson to us._ He could not have send from whence the thought came. _I can worry about that later. Babies aren't supposed to be huge expenses, at least for a little while- no, I'm kidding myself. You need to start saving from day one. Before that, really. At least they're paying less on the mortgage than they would be in an apartment._

He started to hope Ao would not be getting any offers in Hokkaido, but the proper thing to hope, for all the good it would do, was to hope he found something in town. It was good that he was applying and talking to people, but even without any kind of disadvantage, job hunting could take months. _He's getting discouraged even after just a few weeks because that was what he expected of himself, he had to have a new job right away._

As he exercised that night, he thought about going and finding his friend, but the man found him.

"Thanks for last night. I think I needed to hear that."

"Well, you'll owe me again. How do you set your expectations?"

"I think I know where you're going with this," he said, sitting down. "I feel like I don't have a choice but to set them really high."

"It's a trick question. You can't control your expectations. You form them based on your beliefs. If you believe it's going to take you six months to get a new job, that's what you'll expect of yourself."

"Okazaki, I don't have six months."

"I know that. The thing is, you can't make an expectation as high as you want and call it reasonable. What you're going to have to do is exceed all reasonable expectations. That's what you have to keep in mind here."

"How does that make a difference?" he asked.

"It makes a difference because you're not being asked to be a normal man. You're being asked to be the best husband your wife could get. That's what it's going to take."

"Eri could get a better husband-"

"You're damn right she could, and that's why you have to make sure it's going to be you. Think of how badly you've screwed it up so far. Do you think a normal man can fix this?"

"I do," Ao said. "That's what I am, Okazaki. I'm a normal man, and I'm going to fix this."

Tomoya had been thinking about how he had to work like hell at the end of high school to make up for the previous three years. _Maybe he's right, though. Maybe there's really nothing that special about me and I could have done it the whole time._

"Well, let's see it. It doesn't matter where you're working; just get a job tomorrow. Go back to your old employer if you have to and ask for a different job. There was a refrigeration company where I made a delivery once and I'm pretty sure they're hiring."

He walked out of the room and threw himself in bed, wondering if night time during exercise talks with his housemate were going to become a regular thing. _What would I say if I were on his wife's side? I mean, divorcing him doesn't seem like a good idea even without the baby on the way._ He sighed, not envying whoever had to talk her out of it if she ever thought about it.

When he woke up he realized he was going to be a few minutes late to work if he did not hurry, and he was tempted not to, since Honda had been absent for no reason he remembered, but he decided it was a good habit to maintain. Getting to work, neither the butcher nor his car were there and he decided to get over it and call the Itou house, digging through a few orders he was sure he delivered without remembering them to find the time one took him there. Finding the number quickly enough he dialed it on the shop phone and started trying to clean tools with one hand.

"Hi, this is Okazaki," he said as soon as he heard someone pick up. "Is Honda with you or do you know if he's going to be out for a while?" The question sounded weird and it probably gave away he had no idea what his boss was doing if this was something he had been meant to anticipate, but he no longer cared; he could be forgiven for forgetting something every once in a while.

"I'm sorry, have you not seen him either? We assumed he was getting up early and going in early-"

"Does he live with you?"

"No, he lives in a small apartment by himself. Has he not been at work?"

"Where's the apartment? We may need to call an ambulance."

"An ambulance?"

"He's an old man, Itou, put it together," he said, hanging up angrily. He dug through the papers on the desk while the phone rang and found the butcher's address. _He hasn't been seen by his family members. At that age, he doesn't take vacations by himself. I should have thought something like this would have- no, I had no reason. I had no reason to think there was anything wrong._ Flipping the sign to indicate they were closed, he set off. Wearing himself out would make him feel better, but put him in no state to help with first aid when he arrived. _It would also make it harder for cars to avoid me when I cross the street._

The location was mercifully close, but that only made it feel more like calamity had struck right under his nose, where he should have been watching. _There's no way this could have been the original problem- that just doesn't matter._ He slipped past the closing outer doors for want of a card and asked at the desk where Honda could be found. It was a common name, but they probably knew who he meant from his own uniform. _Lucky he's on the first floor._

There was no answer when he knocked. Some unreasonably optimistic part of his mind told him that would be par for the course if he took an unplanned vacation. He wanted to break down the door, but the paramedics were already behind him. _Must've had an ambulance in the area._ Getting out of the way, he got hit with the pointless, directionless sense of inability as the medical professionals went past him. _Might as well have just called them myself. All I actually did was get mad at Itou. I'll have to apologize to her later._ He wanted to kick something, but decided against distracting people who knew what they were doing. _I should have at least had a key. Does he keep a spare key in the shop?_

His thoughts drowned out what the considerate professionals were telling him as their colleagues were administering drugs, which at least meant that not all hope was lost. Everything was a blur until he saw a familiar face, or at least a familiar profile. He found himself moving forward as he called out to her.

"Ryou?"


	86. Halfway to the Hospital

"Okazaki?" she asked, almost saying his given name, but catching herself. _There's no time for that._

"How bad is it?" he asked.

"I'm really just here to observe..." _That's right. She wants to be a nurse, so she has to study._

"You're taking notes on what the nurses are doing."

"Yes... I am really sorry to say this, but you're... distracting me."

"Sorry about that. You'll have to learn to talk more confidently as a nurse, though."

"Right," she said, looking up at him to see him smile momentarily before remembering why they were there. He thought about asking someone else, but there was really nothing he could do anyway. _Well, no, that kind of counts as something I can do._

"Excuse me, do you know what happened yet?"

"He hurt himself somehow. Has he had any falls recently?" the doctor asked.

"No, he's really fit and on top of things. He's not... frail. I really didn't expect anything like this." As he spoke the older man was nodding along.

"It's not your fault if you didn't see something." _I wouldn't say it's not my fault. I haven't gotten nearly enough visions of the other timeline to figure that one out._

"Is it a bone then? He's been lying there in pain?" He tried to remember something relevant. "Yesterday, I think he unlocked the door to the butchery- he must have gone back here some time after that."

"Okay, that's a maximum of twenty four hours, then. We don't know when exactly this happened, and we really won't know until we ask him. I presume you decided to call his family after he was not there for the second day?"

"Yeah. He's been missing before. I was on the fence about it. I didn't know whether he had just decided not to tell me or if I forgot about it- at one point I thought it might have been some stupid test to see if I would actually come in for the whole day." He sighed. "I don't know much about his medical history; I couldn't tell you if he's had broken bones before."

"That's quite alright; bones break the same way every time." Something about the doctor's remark sounded disrespectful, but he figured his emotions were just running high. Tomoya had not yet completely fought down the urge to kick something. "We have him on a painkiller, and he fell asleep only a minute after it took effect." _He must not have been able to sleep from the pain._

"Well, better late than never. I really wish I could have seen this coming."

"This happens all the time. For the record, I'm inclined to believe you're not just excusing yourself. Did he say anything about retiring?"

"I forget the details. I just took it as a mundane comment. I think he was going to retire within a year so he could spend more time with his family."

"That makes sense. You shouldn't doubt yourself in the coming days." He looked over to the other doctors as if he could communicate with them without saying anything. "He can't have visitors until a few hours from now. Why don't you go back to work until the end of the day?"

"I'll do that," he said, not sure how he would focus.

Walking back to work, he was in no particular hurry to get the sign flipped around. _I probably only missed one or two customers._ When he got through the door, which he realized he had left unlocked, he called the Itou house again, but there was no response. He left a message saying he was sorry for getting upset and Honda would most likely be fine. There was a customer who wore an impatient expression.

"Were you on break or something?"

"No. I had to go to my manager's apartment because of a medical emergency."

There was a short pause.

"Okay, well give me my order then."

"Did you call ahead? I haven't checked the messages yet." The customer sighed like it was a huge problem.

"It was a kilo of ground chicken, a kilo of wagyu, and a kilo of cured pork."

Tomoya got the appropriate measures without saying anything.

"It's an hour late."

"We don't have a late policy. If this were a delivery, I'd be happy to forgo the tip." He reconsidered. _It's better to just get past this than dig my heels in._ "How about this, you can have the whole thing for ten percent off."

"Fine." _It was probably about as much as he was hoping to get._ He mentally shrugged. The point of ordering ahead was getting it on time, so he guessed the guy was entitled to some kind of discount. The customer left without further complaint.

He realized it was already about time for lunch, but he had taken it with him. _Looks like I'll have to postpone my visit to Nagisa. The second I get off work, I'm going to see Honda._

Having not been paid in his recent memory, he guessed he must have been paid before that, which would explain how he happened to have some money on him. For all the time it was going to take for his boss to recover, he guessed his method of payment was going to be different. He had some idea that the old man paid the bills first, then paid him and kept the rest, but there was no business address, meaning the bills showed up at the apartment. _If it weren't for today, I wouldn't have even known it was an apartment._

There was not much traffic until the end of the day. That kind of thing was not totally unheard of, but it seemed likely that people saw the shop was closed earlier and assumed it would be closed the rest of the day. _Really, I should be grateful the impatient guy showed up at all._

He closed at the regular time in case anyone else was coming, but he guessed he had hoped in vain. Walking to the hospital, he remembered there was a small one in town, but Fuko had to be moved out of town because she was a chronic case and there was no medical necessity for her to be in any place specifically. _I guess the same applies to the boss, but they probably didn't want to move him too much in one day._

The place was not terribly hard to find. There were a few different signs in town with the kanji for hospital on them, and he had passed each of them more than once between deliveries and dicking around with the Miyazawa gang. It seemed beneficial to adopt a nicer attitude with the receptionist than he had with the one at the apartment that morning, so he figured he had mostly made up for the way he had acted in the last twelve hours. _Great. Now I can start making up for how I acted yesterday._

"Hi, boss," he said as he came in. "Sorry I didn't suspect anything yesterday."

"You didn't leave the shop, did you?"

"No," he said, shaking his head sadly.

"Good. You didn't miss any sales."

"What?"

"I was worried you'd be all over town hanging out with your girlfriend."

"Not during work, sir, I'd planned to go see her tomorrow-"

"Well, make sure you make time for her. That sort of thing never really worked out for me."

"Huh. I guess that happens. Well, how long is it going to take for you to get better? Have they given you an estimate?"

"They said it was up to me and I started to get up, but then they said that wasn't permitted. Looks like it's not really up to me. Any other questions?"

"Yeah, actually. How do I get the bills sent to the shop?"

"Just install a mailbox and change the billing address to the service address on all the accounts. You can pick up the paperwork if you want to make all the calls yourself."

"I think I'll do that. Did they lock your door?"

"Yeah, you'll need the card key." Honda indicated a blue card out of his reach. Tomoya picked it up without particularly thinking about it.

"That's what I'll do on break tomorrow."

"Good."

There seemed like there was nothing more to say, so he left. _He's not that touchy feely of a guy. Probably the last thing he wants is to hear me sobbing over how I didn't realize how old and weak he is._ As he walked out of the hospital, he thought of his own father. _That's one old man I'm not going to let die if he wants to work himself to death. I guess it's more respectable than drinking himself to death, but that would have made it less painful for me._

It was not as if there was anything for it, of course. He knew that everything and everyone was telling him to let his father live as he wanted. _They wouldn't have told me that when he was drinking. Every damn time it's about 'take your friend's keys so they don't drive themselves home'. Where do you stop taking a role in someone's life because you care?_

He sniffed, smiling involuntarily for a moment, thinking about how a young man who might have been a dropout a year ago had no business asking himself those questions. _What am I now, nineteen? Maybe I should just be doing as Honda suggested and going out with Nagisa._

There were not many papers he had to pick up at the apartment, but it was still more than he had expected. _At least they're organized. It would have taken me an age to get it all together otherwise._

"Good evening, Okazaki," a familiar voice said quietly. Though it was getting dark, the voice did not startle him. It belonged to a pregnant woman he knew well enough.

"Yoshino-sensei, what are you doing here?"

"I'm taking a walk. They say it's good for me to stay on my feet."

"I'll pass that along. Have you seen Yasui lately? You might have known her as-"

"She told me. Apart from one day, she was never one of my students. To me, she'll always have been Mrs. Yasui."

"Oh, okay. I guess there's nothing I would know to ask that she didn't ask you, then." _It's just my day to be of no particular use. Is this some sort of lesson I was supposed to learn about Ao._

"I do not think she would want me to tell you everything she asked me," the former teacher said, smiling a little. "Don't take it too personally. There are some things that should stay between us women." Nothing was said for a moment as a car passed by. "She didn't tell me about the father."

"I'm living with her and her husband. She was probably... well, I don't think I should tell you. Some things should really stay between husband and wife, and that was what I told him." Yoshino-sensei exhaled in lieu of a laugh. "He's doing his best to take responsibility."

"Well, I'm glad it isn't you. I promise I had not suspected that until you asked about her."

"My name isn't Yasui," he said, brow furrowing. "Why would her marital name be Yasui if-" His exhale was a bit angrier as she raised her fingers to her mouth. "Well, I'm glad you're not advising her on how not to get hit, because I don't know how you do it." Fortunately, that was even funnier.

"I only mess around when I know I'm dealing with a grown man. Please, I never got to do this with my students. Don't you work customer service? Imagine if you had to wear that face and say all those canned lines for eight hours a day." Her eyes faded. "I really did love being a teacher, and I'll go back to it once our baby is older, unless we have another, but it's nice not to have to be professional once in a while."

"I'm sure." Thinking of it more charitably, he guessed it would look weird to ask about someone else's pregnant wife and virtually anyone would either ask a question about it or skip straight to getting mad at him. _Went about as well as it could have._ "I'll see you later."

"I know. Oh, I don't think I told you."

"Told me what?"

"There's a young man who was moved right next to my younger sister. Apparently he had to be hospitalized after being seriously injured."

"What happened to him?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'll have to ask."

"Okay, well, maybe I'll visit sometime." _With my life, I can't promise anything in the near future. There's nothing to be done about it now._

He found his way back to the house, discovering that supper had unsurprisingly already been eaten. He did not want to burden anyone with what had happened to his boss, since it had nothing to do with them, so he asked Ao how the job hunt went. He said he talked to someone, which was good, and he had a few backup options, though he seemed none too excited about any of them.

"That's good," he commented quietly before grabbing some rice and disappearing. _I can exercise after I eat._

Late at night, the phone rang in the main room and he got out of bed to get it almost instinctively. _Ao needs his sleep better than I do. Yasui's still going to classes, and the last thing we want is for her to give up._ Putting together the pieces around what happened with that had taken longer than it should have.

"Hello?" he answered, not sure why he did not simply hang up. It was Sunohara.

"Okazaki!"

"I don't remember giving you this number, but if I did, I regret it now."

"Oh, don't say that. I've just had the best day of my life."

"What?"

"I got a part! It's an ensemble role and I'll be doing it along with every other job I have, but I finally got a part."

"That's great," he said, not convinced it could not have waited until morning. _My expectations were higher for Ao, but I guess this idiot doesn't have a criminal record._ "Is it part of your job to stay up all night?"

"I work some odd hours," he said, laughing slightly. Tomoya could imagine the awkward expression he was wearing.

"Well, I'm nothing but happy for the fact that you've got a new job, but I don't even want to know what time it is. Whatever time it is, don't call at this time like ever again."

"Haha okay," the blonde boy agreed before disconnecting.

Going back to bed, it seemed like the night for a dream, but perhaps he was just remembering something he had seen once, though it was impossible to place. _When was it? Was it some time today? Yesterday? Why can't I get a sense of these things when they happen?_

Deciding it had to have something to do with his father, he returned to the question of what to do about the old man's health problems, but if he ever came to an answer, he did not remember what it was by the time he woke up. His thoughts were jumbled, but that was never an excuse not to get to work on time, so he got ready and walked out. It was only when he was on the way that he realized he did not know exactly what he was doing at work once he got there. Without Honda around, he really had no idea how he was going to handle most things.

_Before, his absence was planned ahead of time, so I wouldn't have to do anything I didn't know how to do. He was probably planning on showing me how to place an order, keep the inventory, and do everything else within the next year, but you never quite plan for the unexpected._

There was a customer first thing in the morning, as perhaps he should have expected, so that kept him from having to think about the other tasks for a minute or so. It was a man he was sure he had seen before, possibly from the night shift. _Well, at least he recognizes me._

"Oh, they got you on day duty now?" he asked.

"Yeah, Officer Todoroki. I could say the same to you," he said, getting around to the counter. _Need to slaughter another chicken soon._

"I work odd hours."

"I hear that a lot these days. Did you ever hear anything about the counterfeit case?"

"Yeah. We were certain that they couldn't have come from Osaka, because that would have been too far for natural travel, but apparently that's where we're looking now." Tomoya could not have said if he lied. "I'd like some cheaper cuts of beef."

It was an odd request, but he could work with it. Getting 'stew meat' into the paper and rolling it up, he genuinely hoped it was what the customer wanted. _Honda has to interpret orders every so often, but mostly that's just what he does when he doesn't feel like asking for clarification. I never used to do it myself._

_Funny how that works._


	87. Difficult Discussions

Not for the first time, he considered how what he was doing could be compared to what he would be doing in a matter of months when Honda retired as manager. _Yeah, only then I'll actually have an idea of what I'm doing._ From the telephone bill he could easily find the number he had to call and he already had the service address in front of him.

"Hello, Ueno Telecom."

"Yeah, this is account number 24752456, I need the billing address changed to the service address."

"I need a social ID."

"Why the hell would I try to fabricate the change of billing address?"

"Sir, I can't authorize any change without-"

"No, I get that; I'm just an employee too; I just want to know what kind of potential for fraud there is while I look for it."

"I really have no idea."

"Okay, here it is." It was a long number, but he did not patronize the girl on the other end of the line by pausing every third digit and asking if she had it. She told him it was taken care of on their end, but depending on when the next bill went to the post office, he might need to check the original billing address. He told her he understood and hung up.

"That wasn't that bad," he commented. "That's the phone, now I just need the electricity, water, and gas. At least there's no internet."

At some point he realized it took him through lunch to finish making the calls, getting the same caveat from each of the service representatives about a bill maybe showing up at Honda's doorstep. _It's too late to run out to the bakery, and I didn't bring anything with me. Damn._ He shrugged, deciding he was not that hungry, and there was really nothing for it anyway, since he had promised to keep the shop open for the entirety of the usual hours. _Eating raw meat's out of the question. That's going to make me hurt for a lot longer than a few hours of being hungry._

There was a call about a delivery, but the customer told him to forget about it for some reason, and about five minutes later, there was a walk-in. _Works out well enough._ He thought he recognized her as one of their usual housewives, but he could not even guess at her name. The only thing he noticed about her in particular was that she was exceptionally skinny.

"Good after noon, ma'am," he started. "What are we having this evening?"

"Oh, I'm just looking for a large order of chicken." _Damn. I only have a bit left because I never got around to slaughtering a new one._ The previous day he had been staring at the door waiting for customers to come in to make up for lost time, though that never materialized.

"How much would you need, a few kilograms?" he asked conversationally. "If you'd like whole pieces, I can get that together in maybe fifteen minutes. It's actually less that way, kilo for kilo."

"Oh, I see. I would like whole pieces, actually." He walked to the back, suddenly cognizant of the fact that the customer area was not only pretty small, but lacked chairs, because that was an indication of a long wait. Getting a chicken out of a cage and into the death cone, he used a small knife to slash the throat, not knowing where the special scissors were at that exact moment. He started trying to get the feathers off while the blood was draining.

"Damn you," he muttered, getting up on the counter for a better angle.

"Are you slaughtering a chicken back there?" he heard the customer call out. _Don't know what you wanted me to do._

"Guaranteed fresh!" he called back. "We take it quite seriously around here." The feathers were coming off more agreeably, but the blood was drained enough. "Any idea which pieces you want?" he asked as he got it out of the cone.

"Yes, I'll have a breast and a thigh." _I guess there's always buying them._

"Tell you what, since you've been so patient, I'll throw in a nice leg," he offered, getting a saw and cutting the animal in half down the middle. _I'll sort the other half out in a minute._

"That would be wonderful," she called back. He had finished plucking and washing the chicken, so really all that was left was knife work. Using a cleaver was quick and good enough for separating the leg quarter from breast, from which he removed the wing after cutting off what was generally called the back. _No reason to separate the drumstick from the thigh; she'll do it herself if that's an issue._

"What are you making?" he called out. He did not quite hear her response, but he went ahead and guessed the recipe called for whole pieces. _She probably doesn't like calling through the shop like this. Most people aren't loudmouths like Akio._ When he had the pieces ready, he went back to the front and packed them up and weighed them. It was the policy to make sure the scale was zeroed out for the paper before anything went on.

"Oh, that is less expensive than it would have been."

"Yeah," he said, unable to do anything else as she paid and received the packages. He went back to process the rest of the animal as soon as she left, making sure to grind up the white meat and left the rest of the dark in pieces. He could not quite recall the last time anyone had ordered a whole breast, least of all with the implication that it would be on the bone. _Well, if we wanted to put out massive quantities every day, we'd be in America, where people eat their weight in beef at least once a week._

After sorting out the rest of the chicken and disposing of the waste, which he made sure to minimize, he had a sudden fear of traveling forward in time again. _Why? Why did I start thinking about that?_ There was a chance he was reminded of something that had happened during the weeks that he skipped, like the customer or the act of processing a carcass, but that should have happened already. Any kind of simple thing like talking to Nagisa should have stirred his memories, if he had any. _I still don't know what I did to make her mad. I guess I could ask her over dinner._

Having not eaten, he knew he could take advantage of the hospitality of the Furukawa family if he went over to visit them, but it had been a while since he had taken their daughter anywhere. _We could go see Nishina and Sugisaka again. Maybe I saw them during the skip, though..._

There was no sense worrying about it. It made the most sense to go over after work ended, and ask Nagisa if she had any preference for where they would go on their next date. _Either she'll tell me where she wants to go, or she'll just ask me to pick again, and then she can't blame me if we go get ramen._

A customer came in during his contemplation, but he immediately resumed 'customer service mode', starting to get what Yoshino-sensei meant. Honda made it seem natural of course, but he guessed that was just who the man was; always polite and respectful, and to some extent nice, if he did that thing that older men did all the time where they made you second-guess yourself. Fortunately the customer knew exactly what she wanted and had no further reason to remain.

The day ended.

He hoped there would not be any bills on Honda's doorstep, but he was reasonably sure most companies did not send them exactly at the due date. He could most likely afford to check once a week for the next few weeks. Installing a mail box was something he supposed would make things more convenient for the carriers, but he knew they would just leave it on the porch if they could not find a box anywhere. Walking to the bakery, he could almost hear his stomach rumbling, and he started to worry about what the family would think if he seemed to have decided to save on lunch by visiting them for supper. They were as nice as nice could be, and he was sure they would never mention it, but that would only make him feel more guilty. _There's nothing to be done about it now._

Sanae greeted him from the register as he came in. She was only just closing, so he guessed they had a customer who only just left. Looking around, he wondered what exactly served as the cutoff point, whether it was the same time every day, or whether they just waited for the last customer to be done. _I could ask, but somehow it seems too pointless to ask, but not too pointless to wonder._

"We were just about to go out to eat; where would you like to go?"

"Oh, I don't know-" he started, having assumed they were eating in. "We probably shouldn't go to that family restaurant where Nishina and Sugisaka are working." Sanae nodded intently. "Does everyone like ramen?"

"Of course!" she said, going off to get everyone else. _This isn't how I pictured the evening going. It was either a date with Nagisa or a dinner in the house with her family. In either case, I was going to get to talk to her alone._ Deciding to go along with it, he thought it was at least a chance to talk with her about more general things, even if he could not get it out of her what exactly he did to satisfy his curiosity.

 _I know why she's not telling me. She wants to see if I'll do it again, even without remembering that I'm not supposed to do it._ He sighed to himself, turning to smile at her when she came to the front of the shop.

"It's a double date," she said.

"Yeah, I suppose it is. Whose idea was this?"

"It was mine," Sanae said. "Nagisa is old enough to where we can leave her at home if we want," she said as though that were something she had just realized. "I thought it was about time for her father to be taking me out on a date." _I'll bet you haven't been on one in years._

Tomoya had an idea of why they had most likely stayed home for the past several years; it was a way of saving money to be sure, but it was also most likely guilt over leaving their daughter by herself in their younger days. _It probably took a while before they could actually make themselves believe she was old enough not to have to watch her._

"Where are we going, then?" Akio asked.

"I know a good place-" he started.

"I know a better place. Let's go there."

They left the house without another word.

The general behavior of his girlfriend's father reminded him of the squeaky wheel rule. By being unflinching and unpleasant when something did not go his way, he got his way more often than not. His wife most likely enjoyed having someone who knew what he wanted all the time, and it was clear enough that there was genuine affection between them, if he only showed it in the most subtle of waves. _Anyone who just walked in and saw them interacting would probably think Sanae was some kind of stereotypical long-suffering housewife._

At the restaurant, which was a whole building rather than a popup stall, the four of them found a booth rather than lining up at the bar, which seemed to be for single adults. The server came over when he had the time and asked each of them which bowl they were getting in order.

"Beef," Akio said.

"What are the options?" Tomoya asked. _If the old man wants to chuckle about the fact I've never been here, let him._

"It's just beef, pork, and a vegetarian option."

"I'll have that last one then, that sounds interesting." He supposed it also explained why no menus were necessary. _It probably only evolved into a sit-down place recently. We're not far from a train station and if a ton of people come through every day, it makes sense to keep with the small number of options to process customers more quickly._

"I'll have beef, thank you."

Nagisa was looking back and forth between her parents, then at him. It took him a second to realize that she was making it into a more complicated decision than it really needed to be, but he was not surprised when she quietly ordered a pork bowl. Sanae smiled apparently oblivious as the server disappeared, while her husband briefly scrutinized their daughter. _Well, I guess now I know why she though it would be deeply symbolic or something; she inherited that notion._

There was a short period during which they waited for the ramen to come out, so he asked how business was. For them it was the same as always, of course, and of course that made them want to ask him how his work was going, which was a substantially different story. He cut down on the details as much as they would let him, telling them that while his boss was out with an injury, he would basically have to act as manager of the shop, and that would be the best possible practice for when he eventually managed the shop after Honda's retirement. He guessed it kind of seemed weird for him to be taking over so quickly, but the old man had probably been looking for someone to run the store during his retirement, and had only hoped Mitsurugi would give it a chance, which he did not.

_I haven't heard from him in a while, I don't think. I hope there's nothing wrong where he is now._

The ramen had a ton of flavor to it; he was practically drinking the broth. _Most restaurants are selling substantially more caloric food than you would actually make for yourself. If you leave feeling even slightly peckish-_

"Okazaki," Akio started from across the table, apparently having reached a stopping point. "Do you intend to marry Nagisa?" He swallowed.

"I thought she wasn't supposed to be here for that discussion, sir." Sanae reached out across the table and put a hand on his, if only for a moment.

"The time and place come as a surprise, not the prospect. When I was in high school... most of my friends were generally aware their boyfriends were going to propose to them. One girl had a boyfriend who did not seem interested in marriage, and, well, the short version is she broke up with him."

"Well, yeah, I intend to marry her," he said after a moment. _I did basically tell her it was on the table before this._ "Is that a problem?"

There was a pause.

"For starters, we're talking about after she graduates," her mother said. "There are a few things we have to make clear ahead of time."

"I know about her condition."

"Do you know how we've been taking care of her?"

"I don't know everything you did. I hope you wouldn't mind telling me." He hoped they were just trying to establish how difficult it was to see his reaction. "Since it seems to act up in the winter, I would guess you've been keeping her warm."

"That's part of it. We also have to supply her with water almost constantly because she sweats it out."

"Huh. You know, you're right. There isn't any point in having this discussion without her if we're going to be talking like she's not around anyway."

"Tomoya..."

There was a pause.

"If you'd like it better, Nagisa could tell you everything we've been doing," Akio said. "I don't think she has yet."

"Daddy... that's because it's... not the kind of thing you really bring up..."

"If you're telling me I'll have to figure out something to do with the water once it goes through, I think I can puzzle that out." _I know I'm nineteen. I still can't stand it when people talk to me like I've just started being a grown man._

 _"_ That is not the only reality of taking care of her that we need to impart." Sanae sighed a little. "Okazaki, please understand that we want our daughter to have a good husband and be happy. It is our deepest wish for her to live longer than we do, and this means she will have to have someone apart from us who can take care of her. It's not just that, either. We have some conditions for the meantime."

"I haven't laid a finger-"

"There's no need to exaggerate," Akio said, swallowing. "We trust our daughter, and if she says she's been good, then she has. Be aware, though, if we even suspect that you've stepped over the bounds, or if she quits school, whatever arrangement you have is off."

Tomoya did not say anything at first. He could tell people around them had noticed, though they were polite enough not to stare, thankfully.

"None of that's going to happen."

"Good. I'm glad that we had this talk."

The four of them left two bills at the restaurant.


	88. Fujibayashi

Tomoya was having a hard time focusing on work. He had taken a lunch with him, fortunately, so he could at least go to Honda's apartment and see if there were any bills at the door. It took him over an hour after arriving and pouring over all the concerns in his mind to think to himself that he should probably pick up everything else that might happen to be at the door, just to be nice. _He's probably not getting his mail delivered to his bedside every day. Now that I'm not thinking of visiting Nagisa this evening, I'll make the trip._

It was not as if he were angry with Nagisa, or really even her parents, but he had to say he was disappointed in how little they thought of him. _Haven't I been making a good impression the entire time? Why do they think they need to spell out the rules for me?_ Some part of him wondered if any other girl's parents would have cared half so- they would have cared, of course, but he could only imagine how much simpler it would be, having never gotten to that stage before. _I must not have had a girlfriend in the other timeline, or at least not a serious one. By now I would have had some kind of memory about it._

"Good morning," he said as a customer came in, surprising him only for his lack of attentiveness at the moment. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"You might have met one of my daughters."

"Oh, the Fujibayashi sisters. They've given me a good bit of patronage since I've been here." _Please just buy something._

"What about before that?"

"Oh, I mean, I knew them in high school, so that's kind of why they... knew to come here. Well, that and Ryou wanted to improve her cooking."

"She's become a lot better."

"I'm glad to hear it. Are you getting something for her today?"

"They're both going to be home, actually, we're having something of a reunion." He had not been aware of whether or not attending nursing school required living on campus. "Do you want to come as Ryou's date?"

"That's a service we don't provide, ma'am." _She found a guy in the other timeline. I don't know if she's met him yet._ "I have a girlfriend. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this turned out to be some convoluted plan her father dreamed up to see how faithful I am."

Fujibayashi did not find his joke amusing. She refrained from any overt expression, like rolling her eyes, instead pointing out a few things in the display window. It was his turn to be annoyed; only the deaf and small children were treated with mute pointing. Getting out the orders and packaging them, he reminded himself this was the woman who raised two of his friends, and she most likely only wanted what was best for them.

"Will this be everything?" he asked as he rang her up.

"Almost everything," she said, taking her leave. _Well, a sale is a sale._

Tomoya tried to think of why it was so important for both girls to have a date. _She wouldn't really be that jealous, would she? I don't think I've met Kyou's boyfriend, unless it was something I skipped._ There was a chance it some was some sense of fairness, he guessed, but there still had to be some reason she had chosen him. He switched to cleaning tools.

 _Most of what parents know about their kids' lives comes from what the kids tell them. If they her their daughter mention a boy's name two or three times, that's probably more than everyone else._ Even if Ryou never mentioned that the two of them had been on a date once, it would have been enough for her parents to think there was something there.

As he dealt with a business call, he found himself hoping Fujibayashi did not read too much into his comment about Akio, better that she did not know who he was at all. _She might just figure out that I don't so much have a girlfriend as I'm trying to marry an entire family._ He barely remembered what he said on the call as he hung up, but he doubted it was important.

There was another customer, after all.

After serving the old lady who asked if they had eggs, during which he pondered the ethics of reusing Honda's joke that was not really a joke, there was a lull until lunch, which he decided to take out of the store with him. It was a ginger pork sandwich, a particularly good product of Yasui's leftovers, and in the morning when he retrieved it from the fridge he took it to mean his housemates had celebrated something the previous night. He got out an old sign that basically said 'gone thirty minutes for lunch' and hung it up on the glass door.

Walking out of the store, it occurred to him that if Ao were to be employed again, his marital problems would bubble right back to the surface; the two of them were basically ignoring the fact that he had hit her, neither of them wanted to deal with the additional stress. _Is that good for them? Can I say what's good for them?_ Optimistically, the bruise would heal and be mostly forgotten, but he felt like some things were better brought up and fixed. _I can't say she's doing the wrong thing by not bringing it up; there's almost nothing wrong she can do in this scenario, but he definitely is._

He shook his head, crossing a street without particularly looking. When he thought about it, the fact that he had not seen his housemate apologize to his other housemate did not mean it had not taken place. _He hit her once, I think. That means he made a mistake. I should really be looking at it like that, instead of looking at him like a habitual wife-beater or something._

When he arrived at Honda's apartment, he found only a few letters, none of which looked like bills. _Hospital isn't far from here. Come to think of it, that's probably part of the reason they took him there._ He had already finished his sandwich on the way to the apartment; eating it while walking had probably only saved him something in the neighborhood of a minute, and for the life of him he could not remember the taste. He knew the taste of pork and ginger, of course, and he had eaten something like that before, he was sure, but he had been so lost in thought he did not even know enough of what he was eating to enjoy it in the moment.

The hospital seemed to insist on directing him, though he had been to the man's room before, though the matter was cleared up when it turned out he had been moved out of immediate care. _Huh. I guess when you break a bone or two, you really just need to stay still and heal, get the cast on, and then it's all rehab from there._ For the butcher, however, the physical rehabilitation exercises would start once his pain levels went down enough. _Even if he keeps fit, he's not going to heal as quickly as a young man._ Cellular regeneration was not something to be hastened on by healthy habits.

"I thought I'd give you your mail, sir," he said as soon as they saw each other. The older man was eating hospital food; there was no other word for it.

"You've got the sign on the door, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," he answered, placing the mail at Honda's bedside. "These aren't bills; I already had the addresses on all the services changed. I don't know what they are. I don't recognize any of the names or addresses."

"Well, it's good you didn't open them. Thank you."

"I'll get back to the shop, sir."

As he left, he added it to his list of moderately strange visits to the hospital. _It's good that I didn't open them? Are they really personal or something? Was it just junk mail?_ He shook his head and let the old man have his secrets.

On his way back to the shop he saw a man he mistook for Mitsurugi for a second, but nothing else of interest happened. _Let's hope I didn't lose any business while I was out._ Perhaps the most important thing about management the experience had taught him so far was about the importance of making sales. _When I was an assistant, I was just paid for the work I did. I guess I still am as acting manager, but my pay actually goes up based on the amount of sales I make._

He looked up from cleaning the display glass to see someone standing at the door. _Nagisa._ Though her face was looking down and her posture was decidedly different from normal, though she wore the same uniform as every other girl at Hikarizaka Private School, he instantly recognized her and walked over to open the door.

"I forgot you have a half day today."

"My parents probably remember. This is the fifth year I've been in high school." She put her face against his chest as soon as she shuffled in. "They probably know I'm here."

"You could say you were studying."

"They wouldn't believe me," she said quietly. "I've never stayed late just to study. Most girls don't." All of a sudden he remembered walking Kotomi home from school. _Even she who could always be found in the library didn't want to get back too late._ "I also never lie to them, so it probably wouldn't work the first time."

He held her for a minute without saying anything. _We should probably get away from the door._ Gesturing toward the counter, they both went behind it without his having to explain why, mercifully. The girl looked like she was about to cry, but had managed to refrain so far.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"Is it because of how your parents treated me? Like I didn't know what I was doing?"

"I feel like a burden again. I know they're doing this because they care about me and they don't have a choice. They don't think my condition is ever going away." _It might not._ "That's why they won't let me marry anyone who isn't perfect."

"I'm not perfect?" he said, joking a little. _I'm about as far as you can get from perfect._ "I'll pass their tests, Nagisa."

"I know you... can take care of me," she said, still looking down. "I don't know about the other thing, but I know you can take care of me. I know you don't want me to feel like a burden because you love me and you want me to be happy-"

"It's not just that."

"Huh?" she asked, looking up.

"I think it's pretty easy to see your mother puts up with a lot by being married to your father. She loves him, so she's willing to put up with his being rude to guests-"

"He's only rude to you," Nagisa sniffs. "I can tell you think it's a bother that he's loud and... direct, but she actually likes him for it."

"Okay, well, you get what I mean. I don't know of any married couple in the world that doesn't have to put up with something." _I just don't know exactly what it is for your family._

"I know, I just wish you didn't have to put up with it." He squeezed her a little.

"If you feel like your condition is making my life worse, just make it better." Their lips met and they kissed for what felt like a minute. "Thanks, that made it a little better. We could-"

"Don't say anything lewd."

"I wasn't going to- wait, did your parents say I can't say anything lewd to you?"

"Would you stop if I said they did?"

"I wouldn't believe you."

"Would you if I asked you to believe me?" He messed with her hair.

"I can't just control my beliefs like that, silly." _I don't think I've ever called anyone that before._ "I can promise I'll act like I believe you."

"Okay," she said, thinking about it. "If you asked me to just believe something I didn't believe, I don't think I could just do that either."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"You should probably be getting home, unless you want to buy something."

"That's an excuse." Nagisa was smiling now. "I'll go here every time I have a half day."

"I like the sound of that. Am I still welcome to go to your house?"

"I think so. We knew you would probably be coming soon, and I think my parents wanted to have that discussion in a public place."

"Why? Of all the discussions to have in a public place- were they worried that I would make a scene?"

"No, I think my daddy was worried he would make a scene."

"Oh."

There was a pause.

"I'll see you later, Tomoya. I'm probably costing you customers."

"Not really, this is the after-lunch lull. I'll see you later."

Nagisa left without buying anything. _She probably doesn't have as generous of an allowance as I did. That was actually pretty excessive._

He remembered that once he wondered why she bought bread at school when it would be cheaper and probably healthier to just eat the store inventory, and it was probably her practice with handling money and paying for things. _They wanted her to eat the food at school like everyone else. They didn't want other kids to think of her as different._

There were two more customers before the end of the day, which was a little less than he expected. _I'll have to save a good bit. I can pay the bills with whatever's in the register, but Honda still gets his cut as the owner._ Even then, though, that was more he could put towards paying down the mortgage. _Once they own the house, though, they can sell the whole thing at full value._ He shook his head. After everything he had done for them, there was still a chance they could just move, hopefully at least giving him back what he put in. _I have to get home early this evening so I can ask them what's been going on._

Taking his own advice, he was in time to see Yasui starting supper, though he was a little surprised to see her wearing a yukata. _Must have stayed home for most of today._

"Did you not have class?" he asked, sitting down on the futon with Ao, who had taken to reading his book. _Maybe it'll do him more good than it's done me, since I haven't read it at all._

"They're on strike right now, actually." Tomoya had heard of that happening in foreign countries, but to his knowledge it was uncommon in Japan. "Apparently the faculty let it go really far before they said anything, and now they can't take it anymore."

"I guess that happens." He looked over to her husband. "Are you learning anything?"

"Yeah, what you're doing is pretty dumb."

"I've heard. I've still got a good feeling about the company, though." He exhaled a bit. "I've just been paying down the mortgage lately, though, so I haven't been investing any more into it." Looking over, it did not seem the wife was too annoyed by her husband's bluntness towards his financial strategy. _That's probably something else they've discussed without me._ He tried to appreciate the fact that Ao was confiding in her and honest with her, but he felt like anything having to do with him could be shared with him.

"That's probably a good idea."

"Do you have any news?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, remember how I said I spoke to someone? Well, that's not the only conversation you generally need to have, but the guy's really busy so I still have to have the official interview. I've been preparing for that, but I've also still been looking. I can't just assume I'm going to get the job."

"That's probably a good attitude to have in general, but you should probably at least be confident in yourself going in." Ao looked at him like he had said something wrong, but looked away almost immediately. _What? That's just general advice that everyone says._

Nothing was said until they had dinner, when they asked Tomoya about his life, and he told them about what had happened to Honda. _There's no way I'm telling them about what's going on with the Furukawa family._

"Oh, Okazaki, my my mother was asking about you," Yasui said. "I let slip that you were dating Nagisa the last time I spoke with her." _Well, that was pointless._

"Well, it's probably fine. I'm not really trying to keep anything secret about it."

"That's what I was hoping you would say, since she tells her friends everything. Gossiping about younger people is all the fun they have at that age," she said, rolling her eyes a little. He had never heard anything that intensely negative out of the woman before. "I'm sorry, but I have to say that I can't stand Mrs. Fujibayashi sometimes."


	89. As a Friend

Tomoya had a new reason to be angry the next day at work, but he managed to keep it to himself while dealing with the first customer and the first bill. Fortunately Honda's obsession with the simple and old fashioned meant he would be sending cash back in the postage paid envelope they sent with the bill, so he did not need to figure out how to write checks or any nonsense like that. The business did not have a bank account; its owner did; the business had a cash register. He managed to only kick the wall once during the morning.

When he calmed down, he decided it was most likely Fujibayashi did not know he had a girlfriend when she asked if he wanted to be Ryou's date for their family function, which most likely was larger than their immediate family. _Yasui probably got a call from her mother about one of her old lady meetings with other old ladies. The old lady in question knew I had a girlfriend, and she knew her friend's daughter was living with me._

At about an hour before lunch he decided that since he had some leftover rice and vegetables with him he could probably just call one of the sisters during the assumed lunch break if he ate quickly. _It's not going to be some kind of disaster if I leave a bill on Honda's doormat for a day._ There was a delivery call and he took it without thinking about it, but as he got out of the shop, he realized someone might come by in his absence. _Damn. They probably wanted to get me before my lunch break, too._

Doing a quick calculation as he crossed the street with the order, the average walk-in customer was probably paying less than his current delivery, when he factored the tip, but that was assuming there was only going to be one customer coming by while he was off. It was starting to become clearer to him why his boss had never been particularly excited about having a delivery service. Most calls came in during the high-demand hours, shortly before lunch and dinner, and if he received a call, he had no choice but to carry it out; that was how a delivery worked; the customer had every right to criticize a business for not doing what it said it would do, even if it could have been doing something more profitable. _Another component to it was the fact that he intended to retire at some point, or at least take time off here and there, meaning I would eventually have to cancel the delivery service, and the customers would have preferred that it never started._

He tossed around the idea of hiring help when Honda eventually left him as manager, but he could not say for certain that the extra revenue would really be worth what he would have to pay the assistant, and that decision was a long way off anyway. At the moment, it neither made sense to cancel the delivery service, nor to hire help, because the butcher was going to recover quickly enough. _There's no point in getting some kid's hopes up._

Of all people, he started thinking about Sunohara on his way back, finally getting around to wondering what kind of job he had. When his friend attested to having a small part, he had to put that through the self-aggrandizing filter and assume that he was one of those background characters who only appeared in one scene. _It's really a matter of how big the film is, probably. It's better to be an extra in a small film than a large one, since someone might actually see you._

There was a woman walking away from the shop when he returned to it, though he could not have said whether or not she was a missed customer.

Tomoya dialed Kyou as soon as he was behind the counter, doing his best to clean the tools with one hand.

"Okazaki?" she asked. "How have you been?"

"I've been pretty good. I told you that Nagisa and I have been dating, right?"

"Yeah. My mother was asking about her, actually. She wanted to know why you were, well, what was up with her. I told her a few things that everyone knows." She paused. "I also told her about the time that I felt like you chose her over me."

"It wasn't-"

"I know it wasn't that simple. I know you had a good reason for taking her home. That wasn't the way I felt at the time, and Ryou and I always felt like we could just vent with our mother." Silently, he supposed that was one of the things he just had no chance of understanding. "I was actually worried she would hate you for it, though it was not really a problem since there was no reason for the two of you to meet."

"Okay, I think I'm getting the time table now. I run into Ryou who happened to be observing the doctors and nurses who were taking care of Honda, and she mentions me to your mother, who was probably looking for a date for her before that. She's the type of girl who takes a while to open up to guys, even if she can tell they're into her, so prospects for the upcoming _soiree_ were looking grim."

"It's not a soiree," Kyou objected. "It's a regular dinner party like normal people have."

"Normal people don't even know the difference." He heard a loud sigh, which sounded garbled through the receiver.

"Perhaps I should provide some context," the testy, irked voice said. "I generally grew up in a middle class environment. My father had a promising, growing business, but it was not nearly as valuable as it is today. Because of his success, though, he's been invited to a ton of different parties. We went to a few of them, but we were still living at home and not expected to have dates. Now that we're both _of that age_ , however-" She sighed angrily.

"I feel so bad for you," he said, rolling his eyes. "What was it like going to parties and eating caviar?"

"Caviar is a topping- it's- okay, I know not everyone has as much money as we do, but it's not like that makes everything perfect, all right? I hated having to sit there as people speculated whether or not I would ever have a boyfriend if I kept up with that awful attitude of mine, but Ryou, she was so perfect, she was so sweet, a pity she couldn't cook worth a damn-"

"You didn't like being compared."

"Neither of us liked it. It made us really self-conscious, and whether we liked it or not, it made us competitive. I couldn't help but think she really was beating me by getting a date first- I know it's not hard for girls to get dates; it's hard to get dates we like."

"Okay, so now your mother wants you both to have dates so that you make the family look good. Why would it make you look good if you got a jumped-up assistant butcher as a date?"

"It's not that simple. For one thing, she wouldn't want either of us to have to go with someone we didn't like, so that was why she wanted to get you." She sighed a little. "You said that Ryou takes a while to open up to people, and that's true, but really she hasn't even mentioned a guy except for you. We kind of expected that we would have to fight the guys off to keep them from going out with her, but..."

"You did the job too well," he surmised.

"For the record, I didn't know how well I needed to do it," Kyou defended. "I had to protect her from the wrong kind of guy. You know how she is."

"She seems to trust the cards more than most guys."

"She's into blood types now. Anyway, everyone expected her to get a boyfriend she liked before I did. They wouldn't have to know who you were; you would be dressed up anyway."

"Wait, are you going along with it?"

"Doesn't Nagisa know that most of your friends are girls?"

"Yeah, but I can't just go out on a date with someone else-"

"I'm just trying to explain what my mother was asking. It's not like it's anything totally insane; you would just go to a dinner party with us and then go back."

"There's no way I could ever explain that to Nagisa in a way that wouldn't sound like cheating, and I'm not just going to not tell her. She knows that most of my friends were girls, so she puts up with the fact that I care about them like I care about most friends-"

"You wouldn't go on a date as a friend?"

"Not while I have a girlfriend." From a certain perspective, he knew what was being asked made sense; it just depended on how one defined certain relationships.

"It wasn't too long ago you had a girlfriend, but you had someone who needed you more at the time-"

"I was dating you; it wasn't a committed relationship- fine, whatever, I like her more than I liked you." _Call it what you like._

"Well, I think you're just more worried about hurting her," Kyou theorized. "I think you knew that I could handle it, but she's too delicate."

"I didn't think to myself that you would be fine if I insulted you by taking Nagisa home-"

"No, but if you were worried about me, it would have at least entered your mind that my feelings could be hurt!" He heard a click and a dial tone. _Damn it._

There was a customer who showed up to take his mind off things, but he spent the whole time oscillating between guilt and feeling like it hardly mattered, since she had her own boyfriend, and if she hated him, that was hardly a problem. He wanted to tell himself her current boyfriend should be thanking him for sparing her the neck pain from backward glances.

Sighing, he decided to tell his actual girlfriend. It was inconvenient, since they only properly met when she had a half day, which was once a week, but he could reasonably guess that if he lurked in the park near where she lived, she would see him there and come out as she always had. _I've got the whole rest of the day to take care of anyway._

There were a few more customers, and each of them asked about Honda, and each time he said the old man was recovering, not to be deterred by a little fracture. He figured it was not too strange they would not have asked after the first two days, since he could have been taking time off, but after a while it made sense to ask. Some of them, he was sure, were just missing being served by the real butcher, but others had probably come to know him and like him as an individual.

When it was almost time to close, he slaughtered another chicken, migrating meat to the locker as the blood drained. Tomoya was quite willing to bet that no one was going to come in this late, and if anyone did, he would only be mad at himself for guessing incorrectly. _I never thought about how much I have to manage my time when I'm running it by myself. It's good that there aren't any gangs, but this is way more complicated than working the night shift._

Locking up and leaving, he found himself walking to the park. It felt like an age since the criminals had chased him there, and even longer since Akio had vouched for him. _He did that even though he knew I liked his daughter. The old man's got nothing against me._ He sighed, finding a park bench and sitting down.

"Tomoya?" Nagisa asked. He looked up. "You don't have to come out here if you want to see me. My parents aren't going to think we're doing anything bad if you go to the house." He had an odd thought of the same girl, the same voice offering him the chance to live with her, and that felt like even longer ago.

"Well, they're definitely not going to think we're up to anything out here in the cold," he said as she sat next to him. She was looking down for some reason. "Is there something on your mind?"

"Yeah. Do you know why Ryou's mother would be at the bakery today? Apparently she was asking my mother a ton of questions about me..." His fist clenched. For the life of him, he could not think of anything terrible about what Fujibayashi had specifically done; she had not even done anything he had asked her not to do, but it was as if she knew exactly what would piss him off the most and based her decisions around that.

"You know how her father's company is doing really well now?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, basically over the course of their lives, she and her sister have moved up like two whole social classes. They now have to do fancy rich people things, and their mother is trying to get me to be Ryou's date for one of them. I said I wasn't doing it, but apparently my having said that isn't good enough, and now she has to figure out why." He sighed. "I'm sure she's not just a huge inconsiderate all-around bitch; she just really wants to get her way on this."

"Umm... Do you think if you go once, she'll leave you alone after that?"

"No. As little as I know about dinner parties, there's probably going to be more than one of them this year, and it would probably defeat the purpose if I only showed up once. I thought I should make you aware of it, in case she came by, but it looks like she beat me to it."

"Thank you for saying you wouldn't go."

"Of course I said I wouldn't go, it's the right-"

"I think you should at least consider it, though."

"What?"

"Tomoya, I know you're not doing this just so you can spend an evening with another girl... I don't like it, but I trust you. Ryou has been a really good friend to me, even after she graduated, and... she told me at one point she's worried about ending up alone."

"She's not going to end up- in the other timeline-"

"What if that only happened because of something you changed?"

He had to think about it.

"I can't believe that the only reason she would ever get a boyfriend is because of something a different version of me did. There's nothing wrong with her, and there's nothing wrong with her standards. She probably just doesn't draw enough attention to herself and went all through high school with her sister driving all the attention away."

Nagisa looked somewhat satisfied with the explanation, but she had some sort of reservation.

"I won't feel right until you've at least thought about it," she said. "I'll tell you what you did to make me upset."

"Huh? What brought that on?"

"There were a few times that I thought you would do it again, but you didn't."

"What was it?"

"You didn't trust me."

"How did I not trust- what happened?"

"I think you felt like it had been too long since you did anything nice for me, so you were worried I would stop liking you, or that we would hit another rough patch." She lowered her head a bit. "Well, I guess it is a bad sign if we've already been through one, and it hasn't even been that long since then, or since we started dating for that matter."

"Did I do something nice for you?"

"Yes, but it didn't count because you were only doing it out of a sense of obligation. Most couples don't go on dates every week or so because it just is not practical or necessary. My parents say that they miss it, but really, if you ask them on any given night, what's keeping them is that they're really just past it. They don't feel the need to go to a restaurant and sit across from each other to communicate because they don't even need to talk to communicate. If they had to live apart for three whole years, they would still know that they love each other."

"I didn't believe in you, then," Tomoya said, accepting it. Being honest with himself, he could see it. _I was just thinking about going to see her and about how it had been a while since I had seen her because it makes things convenient for me, not because I absolutely have to visit her once a month._ It was pointless, however, to explain how his present self viewed the matter. He put his arm around Nagisa and the two of them looked up at the stars together. "I can see why you'd maybe want to keep that one from me. It'd be too easy to correct my behavior without really changing anything."

"Well, that and I... didn't want to say it." She smiled. "It's easy to talk to you, though. I know I can trust you with my secrets."


	90. Stubbornness

True enough to his word, Tomoya did think about going to the dinner with Ryou the following day while at work. He had to admit part of his reasoning for not wanting to go initially had been the fear of embarrassing himself, his date, and her family by extension, but apparently that base would be covered. _Kyou told me they even had a suit for me. Can't imagine why they happen to have one._

He had never owned any formal wear; the last time he went to something resembling a fancy party his mother had been alive and the family had been happy. He doubted he would be able to invent the etiquette in his head; the whole point of that system was to determine whether or not he regularly went to social functions, and he did not. Most likely, though, the Fujibayashi family would only expect him to sit there and answer questions when asked. _I won't be able to answer Akio and Sanae when they have a question for me, though._

Sighing aloud, he felt like he was going against his word by bringing his consideration to a short conclusion. _It doesn't damn well matter if she's okay with my going somewhere with a date as a friend. They're never going to see it that way and I can't even begin to blame them. They'll think that she's making excuses for me._ He started to ask himself how he was going to prove to Nagisa that he really had considered it, and he guessed the obvious thing to do was to have the conversation in front of her, but he could only imagine what Fujibayashi might say, even in her presence. _If she started comparing either of her daughters to Nagisa, I'd probably just have to hit her and go to prison over it._

"Okazaki," one of the regulars said, addressing him by name as he swept the floor.

"Mrs. Sanji, good to see you again."

"How are things?" she asked, either noting Honda's absence or the look of concentration on his face.

"I mean, they could be better, I guess, but I'm doing the best I can. What would you like this morning?"

"Oh, it's for tonight, but with a pork roast you have to start early." He went into the locker and got out a few kilograms of belly and took it to the counter to wrap it in twine before the packaging could be straightened out. She had with her exactly what she intended to pay already, which made things easier during the checkout. He tuned out her best wishes for the health of his employer. _It's just one of those meaningless things people say. She likes him as much as anyone else does. No more._

There were no deliveries, which he liked if for no other reason than because he did not have to think about whether or not he was losing money by carrying them out, and it gave him a chance to read his book a little. _I have to return it not too long from now; I might as well get through it._ Reading a book seriously made him think of school, which reminded him of how much easier he had it at the time. _At least I didn't take it for granted, since I had a notion of how much harder things were going to get._

Thinking back on his education, he supposed it was hard to make up for the amount of work he had voluntarily skipped, but it would have been the easiest thing in the world if he had his memories for his whole senior year. _There's a chance I could have even gone to college, not that I really would have wanted that. I don't know what I would have studied there, or what I would have done after that._

A customer came in, encroaching on his lunch break a little, but it was not as if he would die of starvation by putting it off for the few minutes it took to deal with him or her. As he looked toward the door, however, he could see it was going to take a good bit longer than a few minutes. He did his best to keep his expression neutral.

"Mrs. Fujibayashi, we're grateful for your continued patronage," he said. "What will it be today?"

"If you must, get me something that takes a minute to prepare." _Very well._ He went into the locker and brought out a rack of lamb. "I'm aware of the situation with your girlfriend."

"What situation?"

"I know that she's sick for a quarter of the year and you haven't done anything."

"I can't figure out what you're going to do with that knowledge," he muttered, frenching the bones. He was not sure what exactly the preparation did for the final product, but some people insisted on it. "I also don't know how you know-"

"I bought the worst bread I've ever eaten and talked it over with her mother. You would be quite surprised what people bring up when you ask as if you're concerned. I asked if she were worried about her daughter dating at that age, and she told me what her conditions were."

"Still can't figure out-"

"Is that even on the menu?" Fujibayashi asked, looking down at what he was preparing. _Technically, no, we mostly get people to call ahead for this sort of thing. We don't usually have it in the display._ "Never mind. You're wasting your time, and you're being stubborn about it."

"That's interesting. From my perspective, you're wasting your time, and you're being stubborn about it." He tried to be patient as possible as she bought the rack of lamb. Though he highly doubted Honda would be annoyed if he were less than professional with this particular customer, at least if he knew the story, he did not want to give her any reason to make things worse for the shop. Though there was nothing she could do on paper, he really did not want to find out if she could use connections to drive away businesses. _They account for about thirty percent of the revenue._

"Allow me to make myself clearer. Your girlfriend has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Continuing down this path is very sad, and very painful. There is nothing you can do for her." She paused, as if to see whether or not he would try to deny it, or say that there was no reason he had to break up with her. He did neither. "There is very little I can recommend less than putting a child inside her. She has some chance of living a short, happy life if you leave her, and virtually none if you stay with her."

He could not see his own face, but it was his intent to respond with a resolute expression as he handed her the wrapped up rack of lamb.

"I see you're not convinced." _That's not how I would put it._ He crossed his arms. _What could you possibly say that you haven't said?_ "Furukawa told me that she and her husband have a rule that you are not allowed to sleep with their daughter until you are married, and she is not to be married until she graduates. Has it occurred to you that she might not graduate?"

"She'll have enough credits by the middle of this year, even without the exams-"

"Has it occurred to you she might not live long enough?" His expression probably revealed that though it had existed as a possibility, he had never particularly thought of it. "You'll be pleased to know that I don't have any such rules about-"

"I don't think I'll be pleased," he growled, surprising her. All of a sudden it felt like the right time to get out a knife and sharpen it. Settling on a cleaver, he ignored whatever she was saying as he sat down with a whetstone and started to work the burs out. He genuinely hoped the imagery would be clear enough for her, but she was starting to seem like the type to just assume she would never be physically harmed and ignore all the normal warning signs. Eventually she left after shouting at him that Ryou was too good for him anyway, which at least meant she was moving on from that idea. With a little luck he could tell the girl in question that she should see if she has any male friends who take classes with her, because one of them would probably be happy to go. _It has to come from her, though, or her mother will just think I'm getting the better of her or something._

He ate lunch quickly and checked the orders to see if anything had come in for delivery before remembering no one would have taken it down if anyone had called while he had been out of the store. _Even at my age I'm starting to see why Honda wanted an assistant. Did he ever have an assistant before?_

There was no point in pondering such things, so he decided to go to the butcher's doorstep, and if he missed a customer, so be it. Putting the sign up to indicate he would be gone the next thirty minutes, he could be reasonably certain it would give him enough time to get there and back, and he could at least hope it would give him enough time to sort out his thoughts.

First, he decided he had been too patient with Fujibayashi rather than the opposite. He had given her a lot of credit as the parent of two of his friends, about whom he had only heard good things, but there was just no excuse for even trying that hard to get into his life, never mind the straw that broke the camel's back. Giving looking at it from her perspective a final shot, even though he was a young man being difficult with her, and she was in some way trying to do her daughter a favor, he found he was still too annoyed to care. _I'd call Ryou, but I don't know if she even has a cell phone. I've only ever talked to her on the home phone, and I don't want that old bitch picking up._

When he reached the apartment, it was just a few bills and a few pieces of postage paid garbage. Taking it back to the shop without thinking of visiting the old man, except to note that he would probably be wondering what he was doing away from the paying customers, he saw Sunohara's sister on the way there. _Mei, that's her name..._

"What are you doing out of school, Sunohara?" he asked, a bit tauntingly. "Don't tell me you want to be a delinquent like your older brother."

"I'm not a delinquent!" she responded, a desperate look in her eyes for a moment. "It's career day and I... well, I thought maybe you could come in."

"Career day?" he asked. _Is that a new thing or did I just sleep through it?_

"Once every few years, the school likes to see if it has any effect on postgraduate employment. Students are encouraged to bring in a wide variety of employees, and, well, my parents and my brother are pretty far away, so-"

"Is Nagisa participating in this?"

"No, though she probably did at one point. I'm required to do it since I'm in my first year." _Huh. Seems like a weird requirement._

"Well, I'd be happy to help you. Is there a reason this doesn't apply to the seniors?"

"They generally already have the credits they need. I really don't know because I kind of... didn't ask."

"Oh, okay." _Just because Nagisa introduced herself doesn't mean they're best friends who talk all the time._ He might have sighed, but did not want to look disappointed. _Really, I should be disappointed in myself for not getting it. She doesn't want to start all over again with making friends, and she doesn't want to make friends with someone five years younger._

"Anyway, it's four days from now, so... maybe you should write it down."

"I'll write it down. It's going to be a pain not being at the shop, though. Is there any way I can show up at the school, do my bit and then disappear? If it were any other time, I wouldn't mind staying, but my boss is in the hospital."

"That's okay. Most of what they want is for you to give a speech. Then everything will be good!"

Tomoya had to share her enthusiasm; he returned her smile. Somehow, despite what he might have thought of doing his kind of work in high school, he was proud of what he had done and he wanted to tell other young men that it was possible for borderline dropouts to be proud of themselves. He knew the job had basically fallen into his lap, but he still earned it a hundred times over, though he might not have had the confidence to apply for it without a certainty of getting it. _It shouldn't cut into work too much. I'll try to schedule it during one of the lulls._

Saying his farewells to Mei, he went back to the shop to find a customer there, who almost immediately told him she had not been waiting long, though he could not tell whether or not she was just being polite. _I guess some people don't want you to feel guilty, even if you are._ He went ahead and served her, and she smiled and left before he thought of offering her a discount for a delay, but he supposed technically there was no need, since she came in rather than ordering. _Has it been thirty minutes yet? It feels like it's been more._

Looking across the street to where he had been talking with the younger Sunohara, he supposed his customer might have seen him talking and decided to wait. _I hope she didn't get the wrong idea. No, that's stupid, why would anyone think that?_

As he served a few more people and basically finished up for the day, he realized he finally had a free evening. He could read his book after supper, of course, but it was not as if there was anything vital he needed to do with his asset in the next few days. _I know, I'll visit Fuko in the hospital. It's been ages since I've seen her._

He was not hoping for much, certainly not an apparition, but he could still see her and did not need to stay the whole night. The trip required train fare, but it was not that much all things considered, and his housemates had quieted down about the possibility of a move. _Ao is meeting with someone in person. That generally means we're talking about a job in town. I'll have to ask about it over dinner._

Getting home without anything unexpected happen, he saw that Yasui was still wearing a sweater, but it was seasonally appropriate, so the bruise would almost certainly be gone before that excuse ran out. He absentmindedly said something about planning a trip to the grocer so he could pick up more ingredients, but it seemed neither of them heard, perhaps thinking about something else. They sat down to eat and the general demeanor of his housemates did not change. It was as if they were both taking an exam for which they had not studied. _I know that feeling. Well, I don't know what it's like to not study and still want to pass, but I know the feeling of being unprepared._

"Is something on your mind?" he asked, grateful to be the one asking for a change.

"Yeah," Ao said. "I just don't know how to tell you."

"I hope it's not bad news."

"That depends on who is asking," Yasui evaded. She put her hand on the table and her husband took it. "We got a call from a company outside of Osaka. They already know about the record, and they want to talk to him anyway."

"I wouldn't be able to talk to them without seriously considering it."

"I guess that's good. I assume we're talking about selling the place again?"

"Please don't be mad," the woman across from him said. _I guess that's how I have to see her, now that she's pregnant._

"I'm not mad, just disappointed. You don't have anyone here to make you want to stay?"

"No. I don't have a family," Ao said. "Eri has a family, but they've been hard on us. The last thing we wanted to have to do is leave you here, but I talked with the bank and they say they can transfer the loan to you. I really don't know when you'll be able to pay it off-"

"You'll need what you've paid in already, though."

"Well, yeah, we can't just let you keep the house. We paid basically our live savings into it, and every paycheck since then, minus other expenses. Where we're going, we won't be able to use it."

"You could rent it out. I've said before that I don't mind sleeping on a damn futon." Perhaps something in his voice was aggravating Ao.

"This isn't something we're doing to harm you personally. This is a decision we have to make for... our family," he argued. "Good like finding other tenants; I don't think anyone's perfect enough to live under the same roof as you." Yasui looked shocked, but said nothing.

"The Haradas come by the shop every so often."

"What?"

"They're not what you would call regulars; it's really only like once a month." He could not have said how exactly he knew. "They like making traditional Chinese dishes with pork. I'm sure you had some of that growing up." He got up from the table. "If that's all we were going to say, I'll be out."


	91. The Teenager

Tomoya was kicking himself the following morning. _Stupid._ He unlocked the door with the key Honda gave him at the hospital. _Well, it wasn't stupid, it was the exact opposite of stupid. It was a colossally dickish move._ The visit to Fuko at the hospital had not made the evening any better, but at least his housemates were asleep when he went home.

When he arrived at the hospital, he had to find the room again, since it had been her family leading him the previous time, and the vision had not shown him the way in. He had an odd feeling that he was going the right way once it was pointed out, but that would not have been enough by itself. Opening the door, he saw Fuko asleep, as always, and a boy he guessed was about her age on the other bed, turned away from him. There was a middle-aged woman watching him. _I guess that's his mom._

He remembered sitting next to the sleeping girl and not saying anything for a moment, deciding it was probably not best to say anything about having plans to go back to the high school for a day. Though there was serious doubt she was still able to manifest as a ghost, he did not want to give her any ideas, and she had said once that she was aware her older sister came to visit her, meaning she could most likely hear what was going on around her. He talked about normal things, like what was happening in his life, though he did not want to worry her, so he was light with the details.

"Oh, another thing. I have a girlfriend now. Her parents, well, they like me, but they don't trust me, which I guess is fair. It'll be a while before the relationship goes anywhere. I had a really annoying customer, and I basically had to threaten her to get rid of her; that was probably a stupid idea, because I could face civil action. I don't think there's a law against barring her specifically from entering. I suppose I could get a restraining order, but I really don't think there's any circumstance where a judge would grant one on a woman unless she somehow lost custody of her kids."

He looked over at the other patient to see his mother was staring at him.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to talk too loudly. Did I wake him?"

"No, he was awake, he just is not talking to me."

"He wants you to be here, but he isn't talking to you?" he asked, annoyed if he was right. "I never wanted to start a sentence with 'when I was your age'-"

"Shut up," the boy said quietly.

"Ryu, please," his mother said. "I'm sorry, I'm Oishi and this is my son, Ryu. Is your sister awake?"

"No, she's probably not going to wake up for another year or so."

"She's comatose," the boy said. "She's been that way since the accident." It seemed his mother was surprised to hear it. "She's also not his sister."

"Oh, did you hear the doctors talking?" she asked.

"No." He did not elaborate.

Nothing was said for a moment.

"How do you know this patient?" the older woman asked. "Is she related to you in any way?"

"She's a friend from school," he said, answering as honestly as possible without making it weird. _Really, there was a point where that was all I thought she was._

"Oh, what's she like?"

"She can be a bit rude sometimes, I guess, but you can tell that she really values her friends and family."

"She likes starfish," the boy muttered. "I know that much."

Tomoya froze. _How the hell does he know that? He couldn't have overheard it from Yoshino or his wife. They've definitely never said a word about her starfish passion; they probably assume she would outgrow it by the time she woke up._

He thought for a moment about what that would be like as the boy continued to converse with his mother. He had seen it in a vision, but he had not seen nearly the whole picture. Would Fuko have to re-enroll in school, even though she was almost Nagisa's age? _She would be graduating even later, considering she never made it through her first year._

"I forgot to tell you who I am," he said, realizing he might have been prompted to introduce himself. "I'm Okazaki Tomoya, I work at the butchery in Hikarizaka."

"How did you meet Fuko?"

"I ran into her at school; helped her out with something when my girlfriend bothered me about it enough. Well, she wasn't my girlfriend at the time." _That would have made things weird._

"I understand. You must be a nice young man, to come visit a friend while she is in the hospital."

"Well, I think she can hear me, so I think she knows whether or not people are visiting her. She'll be sad if someone doesn't visit her, though her family has been pretty good about it."

"I see. Well, Ryu, I need to be going, because it's late, but I hope you can learn from Okazaki."

The boy did not say anything as his mother left.

"I knew a guy named Ryu once," Tomoya said, thinking he needed to leave at some point as well. "Hope you don't turn out anything like he did." The boy got up and looked at him, and all at once it became clear he was on the smaller side, but at least in high school. His injuries looked oddly familiar.

"Well, I hope I don't turn out like you," he said. "How dare you look down on me after you were the one who put me here-"

"Wait, you're one of the dumbasses who attacked the shop. Well, you basically earned this, so I hope you're happy with it; it's not changing any time soon. You step out of line and I'll tell your mother about how you've been spending your evenings. Shame, she seems like such a nice lady."

He left without another word. It was weird, unexplainable even, that he knew so much about Fuko, but he was a piece of shit for whom Tomoya had absolutely no sympathy. It might have been a coincidence he was being called the same thing as the Yakuza guy, but he very much doubted it made a difference.

Presently, he was serving a customer who had a request for a large amount of beef at a future date, but had not provided any information about acting on behalf of a business or any public institution. He went ahead and reserved the meat, but explained that if he were to refrain from selling that amount of inventory, he would either need the full value in advance or some kind of collateral, and the man handed him the keys to a GTR of all things.

"Where the hell is the car?" he asked as the strange businessman left. _Might be mob-connected. Not that there's any harm with selling meat to the mob; it's not like I'm encouraging any of their crimes._

"Eh, just watch the keys."

It occurred to him, of course, that there was no car, and it was simply a good way of leaving a false collateral, because the man must have known he would ask for one, but there was hardly anything he could do at this point except go against his word, which he realized was the word of the shop. _Damn, I keep forgetting that I'm not an employee. Well, I kind of still am, but I'm the manager at the same time._

Eventually it was time for lunch, which was well enough, since he had brought it for the third day in a row, and it was raining besides. _Wouldn't want to be out there in these temperatures. Wouldn't kill you, I don't think, but it wouldn't be pleasant either._

Surprisingly, a customer appeared.

"Mrs. Harada?" he asked. He did not expect her for more reason than just the rain or his lunch break.

"Okazaki, is my daughter happy?" _Is every mother who comes into this damn shop going to ask me something about her daughter?_

"I mean, it could probably be better. I like her and I like her husband, but what specifically do you want to know?" The older lady looked around for a seat, but there was not one. He found himself silently thanking Honda for never bringing one anywhere near the butchery.

"Is he a good man?"

"He's putting his wife above pretty much everything else. Can't blame him for that." Sighing, he guessed they were probably having the same conversation about him. _At least they're talking to each other._

"What does he do?"

"He's working on getting a new job; hasn't decided where he'll be yet. I admit I've been more focused on my own job than asking how his prospects are. Speaking of, would you like anything?" he asked, gesturing to the display.

"I would have a kilo of ground chicken, thank you." He went ahead and packaged it. _Maybe I'm just making myself unavailable except at work because I'm at work all day, and then when people come in and talk to me, I push sales on them._

"I really wish I could tell you whether or not your daughter made the right decision with marrying Ao. The thing is, I don't know everything about them because I don't listen to all of their conversations, and they have conversations without me whether or not I would choose to listen to them. For what that's worth, I would consider that a good sign. The fact that they're talking to each other and not using me as an outlet or a go-between means they trust each other." He sighed a bit. "I know not every marriage ends with both people dying at the same time, like in ancient literature. My mother died when I was a child. The thing about that is, even though my father started drinking a lot, and I was unhappy for, I don't know, a decade, I don't think either of them made a bad decision by marrying. He... wasn't perfect by any means, but my father was still able to provide for me, and everything I've done, every person I've helped, is because they loved each other and decided to get married."

What he said came out as if unbidden; he had no time to think about it, to contemplate what it all meant.

"Thank you. I have been coming here for many years and I have a very high opinion of Honda, and I trusted that his hire would be a good young man. I do hope he feels better soon; please send him my regards."

As the older woman left the store, he thanked her for her patronage without hesitation and wished her well. It was for the moment lost on him how exactly she and her husband could be the unfair, helicopter-operating parents that Yasui described. He thought of Nagisa's parents and how he had briefly thought they were the more reasonable ones, but he guessed all parents had to be at least a little protective of their daughters when they entered the world of men. _I wonder what would have happened if my parents had a daughter instead of me._

He knew his father would be equally likely to take up drinking after the loss of his wife, but would he have interfered in a daughter's life any more than that of a son? If she showed interest in a boy, would he have at least looked into the family? _Even in the modern era, I think we still treat girls like they're adults later than boys. If a boy screws up, it's not that bad, because if it's not your daughter, it's not your problem._ At the same time, the only thing he could think his father would actually do was try to monitor what his daughter was doing, and not succeed in keeping her from doing anything unwise.

Quietly, he guessed his father would never have really been a role model for a little girl, since he had never really been a role model for Tomoya. The unfortunate girl would probably think of herself as very nearly an orphan, much like he did, and one could hope that she would have a greater sense of caution to account for the lack of parental wisdom she was receiving, but he knew he had never behaved that way. It seemed unreasonable to expect more maturity out of a teenage girl, but he guessed it would not be too out there to expect more caution, since that was the trend.

He had another customer, though as this one complained about the rain, he decided he should have shown more concern towards Mrs. Harada, but he was sure she would not have come so far in the rain without an umbrella at least. Dealing with the customer was at least quick; after that he called the house and asked Yasui to call her parents and make sure her mother got home safely. He really had not intended that to sound like some sort of reminder that he personally knew her parents, but her tone suggested that it had.

 _Maybe I should go somewhere else this evening. I don't want to take Nagisa on a date in this weather, though._ He remembered he had to talk to Ryou. Since he did not expect many more customers; it was really kind of anomalous that he had two already, he decided to try the hospital to see if he could ask where she was working. _I know she's in the one where Honda went, so that's a start._

"Hello?"

"Hi, can you put me in touch with Fujibayashi Ryou?"

"Sorry, it's her shift in intensive care right now. Can I take a message?"

"Please ask her to call me back whenever she's available. It doesn't have to be today." He said the shop's number without preamble and the other end disconnected. _Well, that went about as well as it could have. She's a busy girl._

Tomoya thought of the dream he had about her for what felt like the thousandth time. _Am I never going to be released from this nightmare?_ She seemed mostly happy, except for the part of her that was concerned about him. Having seen Ao and Yasui, however, he guessed the fact that she was married did not necessarily mean she was entirely content, though Ryou was the type to be perfectly certain about a young man before marrying him. _At her age, she would still be asking her parents for permission, so technically it would be that same mother approving of her husband._

When the day ended, he was about to leave as he got a call. His first thought was that it was a call back, but he was surprised to find it was the mother he met the night before inviting him over for supper. Apparently her son had said some decidedly odd things about him, and she had reasons to disbelieve. She wanted to talk to him, and decided it would be best if the three of them could sit down together now that her son had been cleared.

As he left the shop, he could not help but wonder if she had insisted on her son being well enough to go home for the sake of convenience, but he really had no idea and could gain nothing by guessing. He arrived at a numbered door on a walk-up apartment building. It crossed his mind that he could just not knock and go home, but he had mostly gotten over his problem with running away, or perhaps he had yet to have a big enough problem to remind him of his central nature.

The door opened.

"Good evening, Okazaki. I was hoping you would join us." _That's right. I never said that I would._

"Well, it was the best thing I could be doing this evening," he said, shaking the rain off his jacket. _Huh. I must have picked it up during the skip._

The middle aged woman showed him to a small table, his elbows touching the wall as he sat down. The boy looked sullen, but that figured. He doubted very many young men would be happy to have someone who beat them in a fight be invited over for dinner.

"Could you tell me how you met my son?" she asked, handing him a bowl of rice which he took around the rim between a thumb and a finger..

"It was a few months ago now." The rice was plain, but there was nothing wrong with it. "I didn't want to say anything, but he was kind of running with the wrong crowd." The boy glowered at him. _You can shut right up with those silent accusations; I haven't said anything yet._

"Oh, I hope he didn't do anything wrong."

"Well, I stopped him before it could get too bad. You have callouses on your hands. Do you work at a factory?"

"Yes, it's hard work, but it's dignifying."

"I see," he said, nodding. "I think your son's problem is that he doesn't see it that way."

"What?!" the teenager asked.

"I don't think he wants to do things honestly if that means working all day until he's old."

"Oh, no. I was worried that was what he would think. What do you think we should do?"

"I think we should show him what working is like."


	92. The Other Ryu

"If this is some kind of plan to get me in more trouble, it's not going to work," Ryu muttered from behind him as they unlocked the door to the butchery. "I know you can't just turn me in because of what you did to us, but if you're trying to-"

"Who would come up with a plan like that?" he asked, tossing the teenager an apron. "My intentions are basically exactly what I told your mother. I'm going to show you what it's like to have a job."

The boy rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know, you want to show me how bad you have it to make me feel guilty. Well, it's not going to work. I accept myself the way I am."

_Difficult little fucker, aren't you?_

He remembered the conversation from the previous evening.

Basically, Ryu's mother could not bring him into work, so he had grown up mostly on his own, and she suspected he was 'getting into trouble', but felt quite helpless to stop it. She knew she could try calling the police on him, but she had no idea where he was at any given point in time. He was exceedingly lucky to have never been caught on any prior offences, and perhaps even more lucky to be a minor, which meant the authorities basically decided to let him off with a warning, even after discovering he had been part of the Sasaki gang.

He offered to show him what it was like working at the butcher shop, which his mother thought was a wonderful idea. His opinion of Oishi had been steadily going down, but he guessed she was just worked and stressed to her wits' end and could not possibly solve the problem herself, so she took an optimistic attitude when someone came by with a solution. For all she knew, he could have been some kind of human trafficker picking up a kid no one would miss, and she probably would have believed him if he said he had sent Ryu to boarding school or something.

"The reason I wanted to show you what it was like to do a job every day isn't because I wanted you to feel bad for the salaryman. I want you to see that it's hard work, so you should be grateful that you're still in school, because that's something that made me want to get a good score on the final- I already knew that working was hard."

"I know it's hard!"

"Have you ever done it before?"

"Well, no, but I've done hard things before, and working's got to be harder than that," the teenager complained as he cleaned the tools. He set the apron Tomoya gave him back on the counter. _At least he didn't just toss it at me._

"I mean, I could always tell your mother that you were part of the Sasaki gang." Ryu picked it back up. "Anyway, I don't think you really get it. See, a task being hard isn't just something that makes you not want to do it, it's something that makes you feel better about yourself after you do it."

"That's a myth."

"Sounds like someone's never done anything that hard before. Look, under what kind of circumstance do you think you could live the life you wanted without doing anything hard?" He was mostly finished cleaning the tools, so he decided to restock the display.

"I could've just inherited everything I wanted."

"Well, you didn't. Your mother has an appreciation for hard work and taking care of her family members and you didn't inherit that either."

"There are tons of people in the world with more than enough money. It's the system that's the problem. If we just spread it out from the wealthy-"

"I mean, I'm sure there are armies that could just confiscate it. Why would they give you anything, though?" There was no answer. "It's not unfair for people to get things for free; that's just how it is sometimes. Are you not grateful for what you have? Is that why you want people to not get gifts for free?"

"Why would I be grateful for what I have? I don't have a father."

"I don't have a mother. I had one as a little kid, though, so I guess it's not the same." He went ahead and assumed Ryu's father ran out before he was born, unless he died or something. _That's your last chance before you get attached, after all._ "Did people ever make fun of you for not having a father? They pretty much just felt bad for me. I don't really know how that works, since it sucks either way and it's not your fault either way."

"If they didn't have that, they would just make fun of something else. I'm not that bothered by it." The teenager did not seem inclined to help out at all, which was probably because Tomoya had no way of forcing him. He was the sort of kid who probably would not do anything unless the choice was work or starvation, and sooner or later it would be. He could only guess what would happen to the mother, since there were public services for the elderly; Japan boasted some of the highest ages on the planet, but in almost every case of a retiree living comfortably it was because of younger family members taking care of him or her.

There was a customer who came in and ordered without asking about Ryu, probably assuming he was either a customer or some sort of loiterer. He took care of the order without saying anything outside of the usual pleasantries and the customer left. He noticed he was receiving a rueful stare.

"How much of the sale do you get?"

"Well, I'm the acting manager, so basically everything that doesn't go to taxes, bills, or the owner." The teenager rolled his eyes. "What?"

"What does the owner even do?"

"Well, he was the manager until he had to go to the hospital. That doesn't really matter, though, the shop is his."

"Did he inherit it?"

"I don't think he did, but it doesn't matter. It's not anyone else's." He thought about it for a second. "Do you own your organs?"

"What?"

"Not all your organs are strictly necessary for survival, like your kidneys, which is why people sell them sometimes. I'm pretty sure my father would have if it wouldn't have just killed him. So are they yours?"

"Of course they're mine, whose else would they be?"

"Did you do anything to get them?"

"No, but they're mine, they're part of my body. How does that compare to a shop?"

"Well, you can trade one for the other. If you sold your kidney, would the money be yours?"

"Yeah. If they got taken out of my body I should at least get paid for it. Where are you going with this?"

"I'm just saying if you buy something, like a shop, it's yours as long as you didn't buy it with stolen money, money you got from selling something you stole, or anything like that. If you didn't do anything wrong in acquiring something, then it's yours. Inheriting something from your parents isn't really any different than getting something as a gift, and what's wrong with getting things as gifts? Isn't everything you get a gift until you start working?"

Ryu, it seemed, preferred to think about it rather than answer, either to come up with a clever response, or to seriously ponder what Tomoya had to say, which was fine, since there was another customer. It would probably rain again before the day was out, and the morning customers seemed to have sensed that. There were more than usual before lunch, though he supposed some of them could have been held over from the previous day. Eventually he felt he should say something to the teenager standing around in the shop.

"If you feel like you don't want the kind of job your mother has, you're not alone in that at all. I was kind of worried in high school I'd end up doing hard labor until I was old, but I got to know some people and there was an opening here. I didn't feel like I'd earned the job at all, so I came in every day and did my best to live up to the expectations, and technically I'm still at it. What I did might not work for everyone, but I didn't do anything dishonest."

"Okay, what are you saying I should do?"

"Well, try to figure out what kind of job you'd rather do. Incidentally, you'll be pissing off a lot of the command economy types like that, since you have a preference for how you spend your time, as opposed to doing whatever would make you most productive. You could do that, I guess, and you'd probably make more money, but you don't have to." It seemed he did not need to say that there was public assistance, but it would not support him in the kind of life he apparently wanted to live.

Nothing was said until lunch, which was when he decided to take the kid to a ramen stand, primarily because he had forgotten to bring leftovers, but also because it seemed his mother had either not given him any, or he had not taken what was offered. _Poor woman probably can't afford to give him more than a bowl of rice or something. She'll move to a private pension in a decade or so, but there's only so many ways in which you can save._

The ramen man did not ask them what they wanted, so he guessed it was one of those places where they only had a couple options in the first place. He could tell Ryu had something to say to him, but he shut up and ate the ramen first. _At least he knows how to take an opportunity when it's put in front of him. Ah, well, that's probably why he joined a gang._

"Is this supposed to be another lesson?" the kid asked after they finished and got up. Tomoya had paid for both, obviously, and it came out to be a bit more than the place where he took Nagisa. "Trying to tell me I can eat ramen sometimes if I get a job?"

"I mean, you can, but it's not something I do every day. My friend Yasui basically makes food for the whole household, so I buy groceries every so often. I really just didn't have lunch on me so I went out and got some. It wasn't supposed to be a lesson."

There were lessons that Ryu could take from it, he supposed, but it was better not to act like he was constantly sermonizing to the kid. If he started looking for lessons in everything, he would see them coming and that would mostly defeat the point. It was not as if he really felt he needed to deceive him in order for the message to be effective, and the kid would hardly be listening to anything, even normal conversation, if he constantly tried to ferret deeper meanings out of everything he said. They returned to the store in plenty of time for a phone call to come in from the Fujibayashi house.

"Hey, Ryu, this is a non-business related, private conversation." The teenager nodded and stepped out the door. He really hoped the kid wouldn't just stand around for no reason, because he still looked like a delinquent, and it would be bad for business to have that as part of the image. In any case, he was glad Ryu was willing to do something basically nice for him without any kind of reward.

"Hi, Okazaki." It was Ryou, as expected. "You don't know my cell number, do you?"

"No. I didn't know you had a phone, to be honest."

"Oh, well, that was what I assumed. Have you heard from my mother since you... had words with her?"

"No."

"I think that might be for the best. She told me that you thought I was unbearable and you would not go anywhere near me, but I decided she was just upset at you. She's pretty bad about not getting her way, especially when it comes to us." She seemed to be thinking for a moment. "How do you feel about Nagisa? Do you love her?"

"I mean, yeah, I think so. I, well, the reason I didn't accept the offer wasn't anything against you-"

"I know. We talked about that months ago. It would never work out."

He thought about it, back to the short date they had that ended with walking her home in the dark, following her home, really, because he did not know where he was going, and he thought of how she claimed to know what the future would bring. _Well, I guess she's not entirely different from her mother._

"I had an idea that you could ask guys in your program if they want to-"

"I cannot do that."

"What? Why not?"

"If I ask them out, they will think I am... too easy. They will think there is something wrong with me. I am not a confident person like my sister, but I need to act like I expect a lot, or they will wonder why it was so easy."

Tomoya had a hard time understanding, but he guessed he could not bother her about her general nature. Not being loud and assertive was just part of who she was, and there would probably be plenty of guys who liked her for it, probably more than would not. He knew that while he was in school, around the time he started getting memories, the behaviors he attributed to Kyou really started to grate on him more than anything else. It was a trope, to be sure, and he could see why some younger guys liked the tough girl type, but really it was childish and if he met an adult woman who behaved like that, he would have very little respect for her.

"I'm not saying that's what you need to do. You're probably going to be just fine if you wait for the right guy to come along, it's just that if you're trying to organize some dinner party, and it all has to be decided in a few days from now, maybe you should get someone to go as a friend." He thought about it for a moment. "I really don't think I would read into it to much if a coworker or some kind of colleague were asking me to accompany her somewhere as a favor, or just for fun. Guys are more likely to think you like them if you hang around them all the time, but even then they might just not see it that way."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying it's all guys, but in general the reason it's pretty obvious when they like you is because they want you to know. They might not get your hints because they might not see your hints as hints, and they haven't been watching the same movies as you. I didn't know what the red string of fate was until high school, I think." He was having trouble placing where exactly he did end up hearing about it, but he supposed that was how memories worked most of the time.

"Really? I never thought about that. I mean... I knew most guys weren't always interested in the same things, but... anyway, I should probably let you get back to work."

He was about to say that it was fine, because there was no one there, but he was probably boring Ryu, if not testing his patience. Politely, he said good bye and wished her the best of luck with her classes and extracurricular activities. Unlike Nagisa, Ryou was so un-lewd it simply passed right by her. _Well, she might have just been refusing to acknowledge it._

When he let the teenager back in, he said he had not seen any customers on his walk, which was annoying since he could not be sure how far away to walk, since he had no idea how long the call would take place. Tomoya told him not to worry too much about it, because it was not like he was being paid to be there. They went ahead and served a few more customers before the end of the day, at which point he presumed the kid either went home, or to the hospital; it was hard to tell based on his direction.

What stayed with him as he went home himself was that when he told his friend that the fact he turned down the date with her was not an affront to her, when there was no reason she had to think that, he was basically saying she was not confident. _I guess that's what I expect of her, when I'm being honest with myself, and then I tell her she needs to... do what exactly? Make herself available? She's already available, now that she doesn't have her sister fighting off the guys._

Certain though he was that she was going to be fine in the future, he could not help but think that as long as it was going to be something he did to potentially ruin things for himself, there was still a chance he would take everyone else with him.


	93. Reconciliation

Tomoya was glad to have apologized to Ao and Yasui for having effectively threatening them. It really felt like a weight off his shoulders, so much so that he was not particularly worried about taking the threat back entirely. _I couldn't very well apologize and not take it back. I just hope it was enough._

It had happened the previous evening.

"Hi, Okazaki," Ao had said as he came in. "Sorry about... back then. That got kind of out of hand."

"I'm sorry as well. I shouldn't be threatening you two just to keep things the way they are."

"I know. Eri asked me to try to think of it from your perspective, but I was having some trouble with that, so I tried to think of it like if I still had my job, what would I do to keep it?" He hung his head a little. "I don't think she wants to make the decision."

"Well, you have to anyway. It really is your decision and I don't think I can get in the way of the best decision for you and your family, even if I tried." _Even if I did tell the Haradas that he had hit their daughter, what would they do? What would they do that would stop him from trying to be the best husband he could? What would they do to keep him from being the ideal father?_

Tomoya still did not believe he had to roll over and die for his housemates, but he told himself it was not going to be that bad anyway. They would be leaving him with more money than he had actually put into the house, as a means of an apology, and he was tempted to decline it, but he needed it as much as they needed to apologize. _Well, far be it from me to keep them from apologizing._

He started thinking about other housing options on the way to work; he knew if they just suddenly disappeared he could live with his father for a few days, but that excuse would wear out quickly. _Is not having an apartment really meaningfully contributing to averting the bad thing that's going to happen? Why?_ The only thing he could think would even relate to that was being further away from his father, which would possibly result in no one being able to help him when he had a heart attack or something, but that was when he was still trying to find excuses for staying with the old man rather than moving out at all.

There was still a chance of finding roommates, and he knew he still had a few days, but there was literally no one he knew who fit the bill at all. _I guess I could ask around on the damn career day thing they're having at the school. At least I'll meet some people with jobs, probably on the younger end of things._ He had some understanding that the teachers wanted the students to see what they could realistically achieve in the next few years, with each of the careers represented having an idea of what the few years after that would resemble, ideally.

At work he did not see Ryu, which he expected, but he did see the kid's mother.

"Hello, Mrs. Oishi," he said as he unlocked the door. "You're here early."

"I know. Work doesn't start for another thirty minutes for me, so I thought I would thank you for showing my son what you do at work." He had been prepared to do it for more than one day, but he supposed if the teenager just decided not to come back, there was very little he could possibly do about that. Threatening to report his gang involvement had limits; if he just always brought out that same threat, eventually Ryu would just get tired of it and quit, even with it hanging over him. There was only so much any given person was willing to do to stay out of prison, though that could be prolonged by shifting expectations.

"Well, you're welcome. I don't know if I did any good, but I hope so." He thought for a moment. "Did he tell you anything about the girl named Fuko?" he asked.

"He told me a little. I'm not sure why he would tell me this, but he told me that she talks to him. For a while I thought there was nothing strange about that; she was just awake whenever I was not in there, possibly only for a few hours every day. I thought they were keeping her sedated because of the pain or some continuous trauma." Tomoya nodded; it was a reasonable thing to think. He did not know of anyone specifically who was kept asleep like that, but he could see it happening. "When he told me she was comatose, well..."

"You were worried he might be having delusions." He was starting to see where the older lady was getting her general sense of helplessness around her son. _The second there appears to be someone who's willing to help her with the problems, she latches on. She knows it's a lot to ask, but there's nothing else to do._

"I... I didn't know what to think. Do you know anything about that girl? Is that why you asked?" She seemed to think for a moment. "You said she was a friend of yours."

"Yeah, it's actually nothing that weird. She talks in her sleep sometimes, and usually you can't really understand people who talk in their sleep, because their thoughts aren't all that clear, but I would think he can pick out words here and there and basically figure out a few details of her life." He sighed. "If he said something like 'she talks to me', when he almost certainly knows she's dreaming and saying things at random, it just means he's been sort of lonely and reaching out for human connection."

He was lying, he knew, but he did not need to imagine why the doctrine sounded comforting. It made a human being, an apex predator, into a helpless little bundle of emotions that could not be blamed for anything. It was perhaps not how parents wanted to see their children, but they would take that over the alternative.

"Well, I'll have a talk with him. Maybe she'll wake up eventually and he can talk to her then."

"I'm almost certain she'll wake up." _I can't imagine how anything I could do would screw that up. I guess I got pretty close once, but I learned my lesson._ "If you feel like your son isn't thinking of his future, or if he starts to get into trouble again, send him over here."

Oishi thanked him profusely. He knew that it would probably be more work for him if he had the kid at the butchery, and probably not a lot, if anything, in the way of help, but he could not help but be interested in the phenomenon of Fuko's mind wandering again. _Is it something else with her family? Is it the fact that they're having a baby?_ It was a normal thing for couples with their finances well in hand to do of course, but it was pretty much inevitably going to be a drain on their time, because babies required constant care unless they were sleeping, which was apparently not conducive to any kind of schedule.

He served a few customers in the morning before taking a lunch to Honda's place, where he fortunately did not find any bills, just what were basically ads and what looked like personal mail. _It's not worth a visit to the hospital._ He put each envelope through the door properly, though he doubted someone would steal them if he left them lying around. _I haven't seen him in a while, but he'll be back before long. I might as well remind myself that if I did visit him, he'd just tell me to go back to the shop._

A regular arrived not long after he returned, though this one was making a face at him basically the whole time. He could ask her what was on her mind, he supposed, but did not see any way that would improve business. _Probably won't improve her mood either._

Tomoya supposed, as she left, that she could be a friend of Fujibayashi, who could have spread around a different version of the story, but he had no way of knowing that. There was also very little he could even do about it, one way or another. He had known she was accustomed to getting her way and would most likely have a problem with it if a young man working behind a counter got his instead, and he could hope that her daughters could tell her that the offense was imaginary and a response was unnecessary, but he simply did not get out of things that easily. There had been too many troubles in his life already for him to believe he was getting out of the woods just like that.

He served a few more customers without particular issue, wondering if it would really be worth it to try to find roommates. He could maybe find a few, but there was some reason to doubt Ao would get the job, because it was a difficult economy for seekers, even if the new employer knew about his record. If he did get the job, though, then it was almost certain that Tomoya would be out of the house as soon as possible, sooner than he could find enough roommates to justify the expense, or buy the place from them outright. _I should really just make things easier for them and move out._

Right as he was about to close the store, however, he saw Mitsui from the jewelry store.

"Hi, how have you been?" he asked, wondering if she was there to buy anything.

"I heard from Nagisa you've been looking for a roommate," she said. "The owner of my apartment building has just raised the rent again."

"Well, you've come to the right place," he said, finding himself in something of an awkward position. Inviting a young woman his age to stay in his house, especially one he already knew, was perfectly rife with implications. _Maybe I can convince them not to leave. If she helps us pay down the mortgage the rest of the way-_

"I can help you pay for it. I've been saving all I can, but..."

"It's fine. I've looked at apartments around here, and I'm pretty sure I would be paying more in rent than I have to pay on the mortgage," he explained, only telling part of the truth. He was voluntarily paying more on the mortgage than his housemates had ever expected and saving basically nothing as a result. He really wished he could buy more in stocks, because he was only getting more if he paid for more, but there was only so much he could do at the present. _If I have a management job before I'm even twenty I'll be doing pretty well for myself._

"Oh, well, can I see the place?"

"Sure, I'm headed there now." The two of them walked quietly; he found himself looking out in case anyone he knew saw them, though he had no idea what he would do about it in that event. _Anyone who knows is going to know that I care about Nagisa. I wasn't this worried about implications like that when I was in high school._ They reached the house in what felt like longer than usual. "Damn, it's locked, one second," he muttered, getting out the key.

"Are your housemates not in?"

"That must be what's going on. I don't know where they'd be at this time of day. Usually when I get home I catch them getting supper ready. Well, the wife. Do you know Yasui Ao and his wife, Eri?" he asked, never having used the name before.

"I think I met him before, but I don't think I met her."

"Okay, well, if they're not here, we can probably still go in, because they gave me permission to go in whenever, I just thought it would be best if they met you." _I'm basically talking nonsense. I need to get them to approve of her. On paper, they're the ones who own the damn house after all._

They looked around the place for a few minutes. Mitsui was happy with what she saw, but he guessed her expectations might have been low. _She probably had some idea from Nagisa that I've had a hard time finding housemates._

"I like the place. It looks just fine. How do you divide up the utilities?"

"Uh, Ao pays for all of that from savings and he just expects me to cover my part of the mortgage." _That might change if he and his wife leave, though._ "I can help you move in if you like."

"Thank you. I think I need to talk to the other two before I make my decision."

"Right. Of course. Well, if you come by tomorrow, they should be here." He showed her out, and she spared him the choice of offering to walk her home by saying it was only a few minutes away. _I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to walk her home unless I have some kind of incredible reason for it._

He wanted to talk to Nagisa, since it had been days since the last time, but he remembered he was objecting to her parents' rules... or something. _Really it was the fact that they felt the need to impose rules, I guess. I've been following them since before they were imposed._

There was a call.

"Hello?" he answered, having no earthly idea who it could be.

"Okazaki! How's it going?"

"I mean, I guess it could be better, but it's going all right." He thought about giving Sunohara some credit for calling at a reasonable hour. It was what he would expect of a smart, considerate person, but he guessed there was no reason to expect the same of him. "Thanks for not calling in the middle of the night."

"Well, the role's taking me to Hikarizaka!"

"Huh."

"I'm going to be there a while!"

"Wow."

"I'm going to need a place to stay!"

"I bet."

"Do you think I can stay with you?" he asked, perhaps deciding it was time for a more direct approach.

"That's up to Ao and Yasui. If they're here, we're at capacity." _It would really be a damn windfall, though._ "I'll definitely tell you if you can stay here by tomorrow."

"That's great!"

"I can't promise anything except that. Oh, and it might cost a lot."

"Uhh... that's okay!" he decided, probably trying to sound confident. It did not work, but Tomoya gave him credit for trying.

"Anyway, talk to you then."

He made himself supper and prepared lunch for the following day out of the leftovers. It occurred to him that he would be going to the school, which was out of the way, he supposed, but it was kind of like helping the young people who were in the same position he had occupied not so long ago. _Well, I don't think I'll do anything for the Kotomis and the Sakagamis of the current class- come to think of it, Sakagami still is in class- but I'll do something for the borderline delinquents._

Going to bed, he felt as if he still had a thousand and one things to consider. In a sort of worst case scenario, he could just take the futon to the shop and sleep in the back, which would be cheap as all get out and not cost him a thing, but he would start to smell and there was no way Honda would allow that as soon as he was better. He could impose upon the kindness of any one of his friends temporarily, though he knew it would look weird, since most of them were girls and he doubted he could bring himself to ask either his father, who had already thrown him out once, or the Yoshino family, which was about to grow by another member.

His dreams were fitful, but he did not remember them.

He saw Yasui the following morning and told her that a prospective roommate would be over that evening. She seemed to have not expected that turn of events, but told him that she would make sure to be home at the time. She had driven Ao to Osaka with her parents' car the day before, where apparently he had been asked to show up for an in-person interview. If she was trying to set his expectations, he understood, but had no intention of going quietly. He told her that if they did leave, he would have another tenant over.

The calculations ran pointlessly through his mind on his way to work. There was no way Sunohara was making a lot, or saving a lot for that matter, and he was almost certainly living in the only accommodations he could afford in Tokyo, but if he had a job, that was something that could at least lead to another job. _I still don't even know what kind of job it is. He said he had a part, but what the hell does that mean?_

He decided there was no way to know for sure, but he could at least rule out adult film.


	94. To Explain Oneself

At work, the first person he saw was Oishi, again, but the second person he saw was his father. The first was in to see if he could watch Ryu, maybe for a few hours before she got done with work, and the second was looking for a hock off a pig for a stew. His father also announced that he was entirely debt free, though Tomoya knew that meant he had basically no money at all. _Better than owing what you don't have._

"That's great," he said. "Oh, I can watch him if he comes in after school gets out," he said, thinking of the career demonstration. The teenager's mother only looked at him as if to communicate something he did not quite understand. As he went to get the hock for his father, the two of them started talking, and did not stop even as he got them each to actually get something. The older lady wanted a kilogram of ground chicken, but hardly turned around to take it from him even after she handed him an amount of change he decided was close enough to accept.

"You know," he started after a while of listening to them talk. "If you don't take those home soon, they might go bad before lunch."

They left the store, though his father was not going in the direction of his home, or perhaps he had decided to take a bit of a detour. _What the hell are you thinking, you old man?_

When he was alone again, he took care of most of his morning chores. Tomoya guessed that his first two customers did not always start as early as he did, or they worked the kind of job where one could show up a bit late and no one would care as long as you had an excuse. As he understood it, employees who were generally good had a bit of leeway, while everyone else would be expected to follow the rules more rigidly.

There was another customer before lunch, this one he had never seen before, and then he decided to put the sign up and head to the school. He was almost certainly going to lose one or two customers, but he guessed he could put up with that as long as he was helping Sunohara Mei, who actually seemed like a smart, caring person. There was some idea in his head that her brother was at least as caring, if terrible at expressing it sometimes, but he guessed life as an adult might have changed him a little.

Reaching the school, it was oddly familiar, but at the same time it was like walking in the same direction after having just said goodbye.

Everything about the new school building was the same, he recognized all the teachers he saw, and why would he not? He had only graduated the previous year. _I'm overanalyzing this._

"Okazaki?" a voice asked from behind. He turned around to see Sakagami.

"Oh, hi; it's been a while." Tomoya found he had nothing else to say.

"You look different."

"How?" he asked, touching the back of his head and wondering if it was something with his hair.

"No, I should say you have a different look about you. It's weird. I can't put it any more clearly than that." It looked like she was trying particularly hard at it. "Are you here for the career demonstration?"

"Yeah, I came all the way here and realized I don't know where it's being conducted because I never paid attention when I was supposed to be told."

"Well, maybe no one told you because they thought you would not listen anyway," Sakagami suggested. She could probably see it was not making him feel better, but he smiled because she was smiling.

"How are you doing?" he asked as she led him somewhere.

"I'm really busy." _That's about what I imagined._ "I try my best to stay busy, and I think that's a good thing. Do you think guys try as hard to stay busy?"

"Well, I don't," he said. "It really depends, though. There are a ton of guys who try really hard and a ton who don't care. Most are in between, but I don't think as many were in between as with the girls."

"Is that why most of the other students at the top of the class rank are guys?" Sakagami asked.

"Yeah, you and Kotomi were something like outliers. It's not too surprising to see girls up there, but there are almost always more guys, and it's the same at the bottom. I remember this one girl who didn't really try because she said she was a dumbass and her only hope was marrying well, but apart from her it was all guys."

"Interesting. Do you think it is a matter of neurology?" she asked.

"If I did, I wouldn't be able to back it up." He sighed a little. "I think it's really just caring about what people think about you. For better or worse, girls are better about that."

"Do you think there are girls holding themselves back?" Sakagami wondered.

"I mean, that might be it, but some of the girls who could be at the top if they tried probably don't know or care. They already have good enough grades for their parents and teachers to approve of them, and that was all they wanted. There are probably a ton of girls who would be at the bottom if they didn't try as hard as they possibly could to get to the middle of the pack."

"That's interesting."

"It's the only thing I know though. There might be other causes, other things that influence it, but I can be reasonably certain girls care more about what people think about them." He looked over to her as they went into the auditorium. "Didn't we have that conversation once? Didn't we say that being self-conscious and all that was a girl thing?"

The president of the student council nodded, smiling again.

"Yes, that was when I was worried about not acting enough like a girl and I was worried about what people might think."

"Kind of a benign coincidence isn't it?"

They took their seats in the auditorium, though he knew it was a waste of time for Sakagami. _She just wants to see how I'm doing. She's willing to miss the chance to do something else._

The first few careers were more interesting than he expected. There was a young man who had gone on to being a comms officer for the national self-defense force. A young woman who went after him had gone into life insurance, though he found that less interesting. She did not do an exceptionally good job of making it sound less like a swindle than he already thought it was, though he did not know how suspicious the rest of the audience was. After her there was a young woman who went into real estate investment, which was more involved than he had expected.

The presenter invited him to come up immediately after looking at a note on his clipboard and he went up without feeling particularly nervous, for whatever reason. _Maybe I just don't care what people think about me._ He resisted the urge to tap the mic.

"I'm a butcher's assistant. I work for this guy named Honda who's retiring sooner or later, but I'm acting as manager for the time being while he's in the hospital." It was a bit of a jumbled sentence, he supposed, but apparently the reason the presenter was interrupting him was because he was supposed to introduce himself first.

_Huh. I guess not everyone knows me. I assumed the rest didn't care._

"I'm Okazaki Tomoya. I graduated last year. I didn't really have the credits to get into any kind of program at a university, and I wasn't really interested in being in school any longer, so I took the first opportunity that came by, because it happened to be a pretty good one. I like to think it didn't just fall into my lap, because I made a lot of friends in my last year and that was how I had a connection with the offer."

_Maybe they think I should explain what I do every day. Nah, it's more involved than I ever thought, but they don't want to sit through that. I also have to get back._

"Anyway, we've got some really great cuts, so come and see us whenever you've got the money," he said, deciding that was about enough. He told one of the supervisors of the event that he had to get back to work because there was a teenager there he was trying to mentor and the man told him that leaving would be just fine by him. He got some weird looks on his way out, but decided it hardly mattered. Maintaining his reputation among high school students was a low priority, to say the least.

When he returned to the butchery, he saw Ryu waiting outside, but he had not been there long, from his expression. Tomoya asked if there had been any potential customers, but there was the uncertainty of the difference between a non-potential customer and a potential customer that the surly teenager made to feel uncomfortable, so he was not entirely satisfied when he received a curt 'no' as a response.

"I don't know why I'm here," Ryu said as he opened the shop back up.

"Your mother didn't tell you she sent you here to help me?"

"I'm not helping you." _Not like you could, anyway._

"I'm just messing with you. She doesn't like you wandering around by yourself when you get out of school, if you're going."

"I'm not going."

"Glad to see you're eager to start working, but you're better off with a diploma." Tomoya found himself replacing an irregular-looking cut of pork. "You should really do your best to graduate."

"Why? You're not using anything you learned in school."

"You'd be surprised about what I learned in school, and you'd be surprised as to how much of it I have to use. I don't have a degree in butchery, if there is one, but that's not really important. I wouldn't have even been considered for this job if I didn't graduate."

"Why? That's unfair. If you don't think that's unfair, then-"

"Do you actually want to know why? It's because high school is so damn easy there's no excuse for not graduating. Only the laziest, dumbest students don't graduate."

"I'm not dumb, I just don't try-"

"If you weren't dumb, you'd realize the importance of education. Most of the smart kids in your class are almost entirely smart because they try, that's how they learn how to master new skills and study for tests. Very little of it is actually a matter of how smart you were when you were born; you have to learn how to learn things, and that's basically what makes people smart." He sighed a bit, remembering the class president from the previous year, though the memory itself was hard to place. "Some people, they're not really even that, I don't know, intelligent, but they give off the appearance of being smart by memorizing things and never doubting anything they believe. Don't worry about them. They'll go through life with or without realizing they're not as clever as they think they are, and they'll probably be mostly fine."

"Did you know anyone like that?" Ryu asked, seeming more interested than surly at the moment. As a customer was on the way in, it was a welcome change. Saying he would answer that in a moment, he processed the order first and saw the old lady out with his usual professionalism. It seemed she hardly noticed the teenager.

"Yeah," he said as the customer left with her purchase. "You know what the best part is?"

"What?" the kid asked, looking confused. _Well, I guess we just were going over the negatives. He probably didn't expect me to point out a positive._

"I haven't got a clue what their names were. I'm pretty sure one of them was the president of the student council the year I left, but I couldn't tell you what his name is. I'm sure I heard it at least once a day, because sometimes he would read announcements or have some other mostly pointless duty. I didn't care about him until I wanted something from him, but he could've been a robot and it wouldn't have made a difference. I really just needed something from the office of the president." _I can't even remember what that was, but that's probably because I'm talking about the other timeline. What the hell is happening with that?_

"So that's why you say not to worry about them. It's a waste of effort."

"Yeah, that and the best revenge is to live well."

He decided not to tell Ryu that he had been incensed at Sasaki and his gang, to the point where he would not have minded in the least if every last one of them were gunned down by the yakuza, even if it was the case that as soon as they were no longer threatening him, his loved ones, or other local businesses, he ceased to care about them for the most part. It would have served his point, to be sure, but he kind of felt like the kid in front of him had a chance. Tomoya could not have put into words exactly why, but it seemed like it would be worse for Ryu to realize that he and Sasaki had a sort of one-way gentleman's game going.

"What kind of job do you think you want?" he asked during a lull.

"Well, when you become manager of this place-"

"You'll have to have a diploma for that."

"What? Why?"

"Well, when I become the manager of this place, I'll be at liberty to decide what kind of employees I want. I could hire a bunch of cute girls if I could afford it." _I don't think Nagisa would like that, though. That would definitely at the very least be pushing it._ "I'm not that picky, though, so really I just want someone who got the bare minimum of educational achievement."

"Why?"

"It's a matter of having the character. I really hope your mother doesn't think that by leaving you here long enough, you'll have a job here, but she's so stressed and worried I really don't think I could blame her if she did. Well, I wouldn't be upset or anything."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't see it? She's been overworked for over a decade, and it's really worn her down." He tried to understand, considering his father had kind of gotten like that. "I guess it would be hard, if it's just a gradual change every day, but I don't think she was always like that. Do you remember your mother seeming happy and relaxed?"

"I mean, I was a little kid... I don't remember it that well." He tried to think of how his father acted shortly after his mother died, and it was surprisingly hard to remember. _It could be the timelines overlapping or something._

"I don't blame you if you can't remember that far back. I don't know anyone who does. It's just, I seriously doubt she was always at her wits' end like that, and her general behavior could easily be explained by being overworked."

"Well, that's not my fault."

"No, you didn't ask to be born. She's working as hard as she can to give you a life. That's how much of a piece of shit your father is for running out on her, I guess-"

"Hey-"

"What? I can't criticize him because he's your father? If you had that much respect for your parents, I really don't get the way you've been treating your mother. You know she'd be a lot less worried if you read books and made good friends instead of breaking into stores and joining gangs with criminals?" He sighed. "What if your mother just ran out on you one day? What if she left a note saying she couldn't take it anymore?"

"She can't do that, she's always-"

"She's always been there for you, so you took her for granted." He sighed. "That was how I treated my father. He had a health scare a little while ago, though, and I thought about what it would do to me if he died. I wasn't even thinking about him; I was thinking about things that would happen in my life, things that I would do, myself, just like I was some kind of puppet of this one event that took place." He put his tools away for a second. "Look, most kids who lose a parent, they don't take it well. That's what happens most of the time. Thanks to Sasaki, I've met a lot of criminals and I can't tell you how many of them probably came out of single parent homes."

Mercifully, Ryu seemed to get where he was going.

"Just because it happens to them, though, doesn't mean it has to happen to you." He looked out the window. "I think I'll see you around, Okazaki."


	95. Self Perception

As Tomoya finished up work that day, it occurred to him he had no idea where Ryu went, but he could take a guess. _I've got problems of my own that I have to remember once in a while. Sometimes I wonder if I do this sort of thing just to distract myself from my problems._

He supposed that when he was dealing with his own problems, there was a sort of moral variable that did not exist when dealing with other people's. In conflicts between two of his friends, he could look at things fairly by weighing their interests equally, but when he had a conflict with a friend, he felt like he should be weighing his own concern less. It would not mean sacrificing everything for a friend without reservation, but it gave some meaning to the term.

 _What is my interest worth?_ In most cases, in almost all cases, he felt like he was doing what he wanted, but rarely did what he want conflict with someone else's desires. If he wanted Apple stock, he could buy it, at least for the most part. _I was probably annoying Ao a bit back during the summer. I haven't put a yen into my investment ever since he and his wife kind of shanghaied me into this plan to speedrun a thirty year mortgage._

When he reached the house, neither of his housemates were there, which he guessed could mean they were over in Osaka looking for a place to live. Reminding himself to be grateful they were doing things together, he was still annoyed at having to prepare food for himself when there was nothing in the fridge. _Well, rice is always easy. I've never complained about fucking rice._

After his short supper he decided to read before exercising. The book was due back in a few days, so he would see Miyazawa soon enough. _Well, I'm glad I didn't screw it up with her at least._ He thought about the time she came to his house to tell him that she was grateful for what he did. _I'm also glad she got around to telling me at some point so I didn't have to sit around wondering about it forever._

The more he thought about it, the only reason he was uncertain about having done the right thing there was because he had debated about it before. He had not been sure whether he should help his friend accomplish her goal, or stop her from ruining her life and murdering some criminal instead of getting him arrested. _Well, the choice became clearer once I realized what her intentions were, exactly. Before that I just had a bad feeling._

When she came to the door of his father's house and thanked him, the two ideals were reconciled, and he had no reason to feel bad about it under any circumstance. _If she never did that, though, would I really wonder about whether or not I was in the right? In the moment, it was one of the most obvious moral decisions I've ever made._ He did not really spend a lot of time worrying about that in the days that followed because there were other things on his mind, like graduation. _I guess that's one thing I can always do to assuage my guilt; I can stay on top of it. I can keep trying, keep making mistakes here and there, and as long as I get it right more often than not-_

At some point he fell asleep, though as always he was not able to say when that was. He woke up on the floor, which was uncomfortable, but if he intended to have any number of housemates, he guessed he could get used to it. He found a note on the counter from Yasui saying that she had received a call from Mitsui about moving in, and the deal was accepted. They would transfer the loan to him, and until they moved out, they would owe him for the mortgage. Tomoya resisted the urge to groan. He hardly wanted his friends to owe him; what he needed was money in the present, and they could give that to him by keeping the loan or taking out another, but their marital credit rating was probably shot.

He walked to work again and found his father meeting Oishi again. _Is this a date? Are they going to be having a little date at my workplace first thing in the morning every day?_ He sighed. There was probably going to be a little less money going his way when Honda resumed his work as manager, but at the very least he would not put up with a pair of old people standing around and not buying anything, provided they were getting in the way. _Well, I don't know. Maybe he would think they had potential as future customers._

His father and the old lady were talking about cooking, about how she had always done it, and he had picked it up recently as a way of getting out of debt. Oishi apparently had some trouble believing anyone could get into debt without being an incorrigible fool, but his father went ahead and confessed to being precisely that foolish. She stated that she had gotten used to cooking, though she always wished she could go to a restaurant just the once, or even just get something nice at a butcher shop not unlike the one in which they were standing.

It took about all of Tomoya's willpower not to loudly suggest his father buy something for her and then the two of them could get on with it, and it turned out to be unnecessary. The old man bought a kilo of chicken and they both walked out, together again. _He was probably just walking her home last time._ A few months ago, he would have said he was quite certain that he did not inherit being a gentleman from his father.

After he served a few customers, he had lunch, which was more rice. _At least I can eat rice all day like everyone else._

"Hi, Okazaki." As he looked up he managed not to choke, because rice was not nearly cohesive enough to get caught in his throat. Nagisa was standing right in front of him, looking a bit confused. "Did you not hear me come in?"

"Sorry, I was just kind of thinking about something. I think my father has a new friend."

"Well, that's great!"

"Yeah, for some of us. For me it means they come to the shop every morning before their work starts. Anyway, how have you been?"

"Good..." _There's something wrong._

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well, people at school kind of talk about me and then look away."

"What? Do you know what they're saying?"

"No, but I know that most people know about, well, us. It's probably about that..."

"Is this my fault? Did I embarrass you?" _They must have thought less of me after that speech I gave._ He had honestly only intended to show that he was not some erudite career type, and if he could land a job and be proud of it, probably most other people could too."

"Well, sort of..."

"I really didn't know that people knew about us. I'm sorry. I should have considered how saying things about myself would say things about you."

"You really didn't know?" she asked. "Tomoya... a couple of guys, maybe two or three a year, come up to me and say they think I'm cute. It's easier to tell them I have a boyfriend than just say I'm not interested, so... that's what I've been doing." _Well no fucking wonder her parents are worried about boyfriends; half of them probably don't know anything about her except that she's sick for a good bit of the year._ He could hardly blame them for walking up to Nagisa and hitting on her, since they most likely had no idea she was taken.

"I should have thought more people would be interested in you. Somehow it was obvious, but I didn't really think of that."

"I'm not upset about that. I'm just upset about groups of girls telling me that my boyfriend is a deadbeat who tripped and fell into a low-skill job."

"Why would they do that to you? You're like the nicest girl at-"

"Well, they can justify it by saying they're doing me a favor. I know they're being mean, and maybe they're telling themselves they're doing me a favor, but it doesn't matter because I just look really desperate to everyone else. There was a senior who came up to me today and told me that he was going to get an accounting degree-"

"I'll hit him with a brick if you like."

"That's not the issue. Most people think that a girl who's not happy with her boyfriend is as good as single. I don't want to go around telling people the reasons I like you... I don't really care that you have the same kind of job my parents have, and I know you didn't just get it by accident, but you can't say what all you did to earn it..." She sighed. "It's good to be... humble, but if you're that self-deprecating, it's... not good. If someone you did not know all that well came up to you and said he was a jerk and no good at anything, what would you think?"

"I'd probably think he's a jerk and no good at anything."

Nagisa looked like she thought he was going to say the opposite.

"Well, yes. As I understand it, most of the time, most people will not think you're being humble, or funny. Most people will just take you at your word, and not bother with you after that. You also made it seem like you didn't do anything at work."

"That's their assumption. I can't say what all I've done as part of the job."

"I know that, but they don't." She sighed a little. "I know I shouldn't care what other people think about me. I really don't think I do, since, well, like you I kind of thought of myself as a... delinquent, but-"

"You thought of yourself as a delinquent?"

"Yes. I think my first time through senior year I cared about the rules and studying, but the second time, I kind of gave up on that, and by the third, I decided I was done with it. There were teachers who would want to talk to me, and I would be polite at first, but after that I just wouldn't go."

"Well, that's not you being a bad kid, that's just you having problems and taking it out on-" he started, cutting himself off. _I wasn't any different. I screwed up my own sleep schedule just to avoid ever seeing my father, and then I just acted like I was a lazy kid who never cared about school or anything else._

"I do not think it is very common to just misbehave out of what you might consider 'pure deviousness'," Nagisa explained. "I was being selfish because I was letting my mood decide how I treated other people, as well as other factors they couldn't control, like how many people had already talked to me about my absences. It wasn't wrong of them to do, it just made me feel scared, and upset, so I didn't want to hear it."

"They were only giving you advice because they felt like it's their jobs."

"I know," she said, sighing a bit. "This conversation really wandered. Thanks for letting me get it all out of my system while you're at work."

"Well, you're my only customer." She smiled before leaving. Tomoya knew the discussion was far from over, but at least it had started, and at least her parents had not been privy to it. _That would have made things weird. I really don't know how they would have responded._

If one thing was certain, it was that he felt like he had to make it up to his girlfriend, though he did not feel particularly guilty about it. _I didn't really do anything that could be considered wrong; I just did something that didn't work out very well. I guess going forward I could try to put on a better show for Nagisa's sake, but this was mostly a misunderstanding._

There was something of a silver lining in that his girlfriend was going to be graduating soon enough, and probably never see her classmates again apart from her friends, who were unlikely to see her any differently, probably even unlikely to see him any differently. _Thing is, if her parents ask her why she's feeling down, she's probably just going to tell them._ Putting up the sign again as he walked out of the store, he went to go get her, finding she had stopped to talk to someone, namely Nishina.

"Oh, hi, what brings you to this part of town?" he asked. If Nagisa thought it was weird for him to be out of the store, she did not comment.

"Things have been going well for me. I wanted to see Eri before she leaves with her husband." She smiled, though he could tell she was a little disappointed. _She might have had a vision of living in the same town with her friends forever._

"Well, I'm sure she'll miss you and Sugisaka in Osaka, but she'll have a lot of opportunities there." The former choral club president nodded. _At the same time, she's accepted it. She knows this is how it has to be._

"How are they?"

"It's... interesting. There are some things that I'm not sure they're ready to tell people-"

"Is she pregnant?"

"Oh, she told you?"

"No, but that's one thing that they might not be ready to tell people yet." He sighed as Nagisa smiled, amused.

"If you didn't want to give anyone that idea, you should have just said they were fine." _Well, I wouldn't go that far._

"Right. I don't want to air everyone's dirty laundry, so I'll let you talk to her. We could all go; I just have a few more minutes before I close up anyway."

"That would be great!" Nishina decided. "I've missed being able to hang out with all my friends. It's been great since Ai started working with me and we moved in together, but... it would be the whole choral club back together. I'll call her and see if she can get someone to cover her shift."

"You have different shifts?" She nodded. _I never realized Sugisaka's name was Ai. It seems like a weird name for her._

"It's unfortunate, but they just couldn't have both of us in the evening, so they moved me to graveyard and morning."

"I didn't know it was a twenty four hour restaurant."

"Oh, it changed recently. The old manager's younger brother took over and he's experimenting with... everything. I don't know, some of it might work out better for the restaurant, but it doesn't work out that well for us."

"Okay, well, I'll see you there in a bit."

Walking back to the shop with a wave; he had been bending the truth when he said he had only a few minutes before closing up; in reality he had another hour or so, but it was not one of the days where he could expect to get very many customers; certainly no regulars. There was some chance of a random walk-in, he supposed, but they were the least likely to buy anything and he found it difficult to be bothered if they missed out. When he reached the butchery, he saw a customer approaching and made it clear the shop was open, and when she left, there was another. _Damn._

The unusual trend continued. _There must be something going on. It's not a national holiday. Is there some game playing?_

When he eventually hit enough of a lull to call it, he decided to ask Honda at the next opportunity. He locked up the store and waved to someone who might or might not have been a customer. Having checked the clock on his way out, he was only closing thirty minutes early. _That shouldn't be too bad._ Tomoya earnestly hoped that he was managing the place well in the sort of unintentional trial run he had at management, but it was probably unwise to compare himself with Honda, since the only reference point he had with his boss was during the times he was assisting.

As he walked home, it occurred to him that even if the old man did have some thoughts on how the place had been managed, he would probably just check the payment records and not say anything about them. _I probably would have stopped trying so hard to impress him early on if he had commented on how hard I was trying, or told me that he was not really impressed, which he probably wasn't. If he said that, I would have been on the lookout for other jobs, probably._

He thought about what he would be doing if not for butchery, though, and it was hard for him to pick out anything in particular. There was a sense of familiarity as he passed under a transformer on a powerline, but that was about it.


	96. A Gathering of Old Friends

Arriving at the house, he was unable to see Ao anywhere, but he guessed that fit. _I probably should have asked before basically inviting three girls over. He might have had plans._ The wife, however, was happy to see them and that generally counted for something.

"Oh, Okazaki, I hope you didn't have too many more customers come by," she said as she got the door for him. She probably detected a hesitant look in his expression, but she told him she was nowhere near far along enough before people would have to start doing simple tasks for her like going and getting the door.

"Oh, so we're telling them?"

"Yeah. I don't think they'll keep it a secret, but there is not much of a point in keeping it a secret, since our child will be born before long and most people can do the math to find out about when he or she was conceived. I have thought about telling my parents, but Ao thinks we should hold out with them a little longer." _No wonder you didn't ask him about telling your girlfriends._

"I see. Well, I haven't told anyone, though Yoshino-sensei figured it out from what I was saying. I'm pretty sure she'd already seen you." Yasui nodded.

"Yes. I thought it would be good to talk to her, and it was. I kind of went in expecting to hear a lot of facts and details, and I even brought some paper with me to write down any advice she had, but really she just talked me through it and told me it was going to be exactly as big of a deal as I thought it was, but simultaneously a lot simpler."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I know, but it helped."

They joined the party without another word to each other. Sugisaka looked a little different, but he could not place what about her looked different, except possibly her hair, which had gone from short to basically tomboyish, though that did not seem like the extent of the change, somehow. He decided it would be better not to stare.

"Oh, how is work?" Yasui asked the different-looking girl. "I heard you and Rie have different shifts now."

"Well, that part of it isn't great, but she did show me basically what I need to do in the first few weeks, so I don't really need her help. How is your work, Okazaki? Someone said your boss is missing and you've been running the place yourself."

He gave them all the basic description. When it came to Honda's injury, he tried to justify his lack of concern for the old man in that he had no reason to believe anything bad had happened, but he could not tell whether or not his explanation had been sufficient. In either case, the discussion changed to be about what he did every day, and how it was different from what he was doing before. Having different ideas of keeping secrets than Yasui, he decided against telling them he had basically managed the store by himself before, or at least held down the fort, so really there were only a few responsibilities that were new to him. What was still entirely beyond him was basically called business strategy, actually deciding what to stock and what not to stock, whether or not to advertise, and so on.

Tomoya guessed if he ever did own the shop, he could make decisions like that, but what seemed more likely is that he would make his own shop, since the butcher had no obligation to leave the place to him. _More likely, it would go to Mitsurugi, who would have nothing to do with it except ask me to manage it, or just sell it to me._

Nagisa told them all about how school had been, though it was plain enough she was leaving out some details. She still wanted to be a writer, though she could not say for what medium. With the counselor she had apparently narrowed down her options a little more, but the faculty member had told her that if she wants to start a family, it was understandable to put things on hold, but she was better off getting into the game as soon as possible. If she wanted to write books, her only way of doing that was maximizing her output, having about three other manuscripts in her proverbial back pocket every time she went to the publisher with one.

It sounded like an interesting career, and he guessed it would make sense that it would be demanding in terms of the amount of work required if not terribly demanding in terms of showing up to work every day. While lying in bed ill, Nagisa was probably unable to even enter data into a computer, but apparently she had used the time to come up with entire fictional worlds. Even when she was instructed to rest her mind and sleep, the creative process continued.

Strangely, no one asked either of them if they had any plans for getting married. _Maybe she asked them not to ask. Maybe they think it'll be a surprise for her._ There seemed to be nothing to be gained from worrying about it. _It's not like I would know how to answer anyway._

"Oh, what is Ao going to be doing in Osaka?"

"He's working at a bottling company, but it's mostly chemical engineering, which is what he expected to be doing. He thought they wanted him for sake, but apparently it's all soft drinks in codd-neck bottles."

"I've seen those," he said. "I used to get them at convenience stores all the time, then I gave it up because they were bad for my teeth." Nishina, apparently, gave it up after the reconstructive surgery on her hand and wrist made it painful to try to hit the glass ball normally. _I never thought about what all goes into that. I guess it's the carbonation that causes the ball to be stuck there in the first place, because glass is incompressible and can't be pushed through a space too small for it._

He almost chuckled to himself about having thought he would never use anything he learned in school, but he supposed it really did feel better to know things than not know them. _I guess that's why when I don't know something, I'll usually assume some random explanation, even if I don't get too attached to it._ Generally speaking, he did not remember being attached to the idea that brown cows produced chocolate milk, or that babies simply appeared whenever it was least convenient, but he had been four at the time, and would probably not remember his disappointment of learning the truth if he had experienced any.

Hearing the conversation without really listening to it, he tuned in a little when Yasui asked Nishina and Sugisaka if they had any plans for marriage. _I guess I just can't help that. Looks like I am interested in little details of people's lives._

"Well, I don't really have a boyfriend anymore," the first answered, looking up slightly. "It would be a little premature to start making plans. I realized I don't really know what I want, despite how I thought I knew what I wanted."

"Then you need to find out," the latter suggested. "I already know what I want."

"That's good for you," Nishina said without a trace of sarcasm or venom. _Did she mellow back out after high school or something? I know Sugisaka kind of showed her how to be more assertive._

"Not interested in the guys at work?" he asked, not serious.

"Well, no, only unemployed girls would be interested in them. We have like ten younger guys between the cooks and waiters, and they all think they'll run the place eventually, or at least they like their odds."

"Better to move on when you can rather than wait around for a promotion. It's hard to move up in the food service industry."

If someone were to suggest that was easy for him to say, since he had a shop fall into his lap, he had the response prepared that he would only manage it at some point in the next year, if he wanted to own it he would either have to buy it or move on and make his own shop somewhere. Tomoya might have even said that it would good to have plans in the works to do just that, since it was the dominant strategy.

What was asked, however, was how he and Nagisa were doing.

"I mean, I think we're doing well," he said. _I get it. Now that Ao and Yasui are married, the interesting ones are now the two of us._ "What about you, what would you say?"

"Ummm... I would say that it is good," she said.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend before?" Yasui asked. Nagisa only shook her head. "How do you know, then?"

"What do you mean? Have you had a boyfriend?"

"It was a long time ago. I was in middle school at the time. We were only talking for a few weeks; he was really immature." _He was in middle school._

"Well, if I've never had a boyfriend before, what am I supposed to do?" _Probably just put some thought into it._

"Think about what you want and then see if Okazaki fits the bill," Sugisaka suggested.

"We don't have to do this while you're here," Nishina said. _I like it when people acknowledge that I'm here. Too bad it's short lived._

"Yeah, I got it," he said, grabbing his investing book. He had read a good bit of it, at least in terms of his objectives, but even if he wanted to renew it he had to take it to the library to prove he still had it. He ignored whatever objections might have been made as he walked out. _Let them have their fun. This kind of thing shouldn't bother me. I highly doubt most girls would lose sleep over it if they found out about some old magazines under the mattress. Well, they would at least act like they did, but they have to understand that's a normal part of growing up, more or less._

It was dark and cold as he walked up the street, remembering the way there more than seeing it. He started to regret not bringing a jacket, but he supposed his exit would not have had the same effect, which he supposed was conveying his annoyance. _Stupid._ When he arrived at the library, he remembered it was closed, but there was a receptacle where he could leave books so that the librarian or an assistant could get them from the inside. _Shame I can't renew it unless I go back in tomorrow. Then again, I'm not doing anything else._

As he walked back he started to think about how he had been looking forward to spending time with Nagisa, but he had not particularly hoped that it would be in a group of friends. _The only reason that happened is because I apparently ruined her life by making an ass of myself- well, being too self-deprecating, in front of a good bit of the school._ He had not thought to look for her in the crowd before speaking, though he doubted it would have changed the content of his speech that much. _I was in such a damn hurry to get back._

Tomoya did not exactly want to go straight back in when he got back to the house, but he was not going to just stand around and be cold either. Yasui had told him that she had spoken with Mitsui and basically agreed with the arrangement, so it was probably his last chance to have her and her husband as housemates. _I never looked at it like that. I got so absorbed with the practical side of things that I forgot two of my friends are moving away._

"Oh, were you returning your library book?" Nagisa asked when he returned.

"Yeah," he said. "It was due by today, but I've never been the best at getting things in on time. I guess the fact that I'm not writing essays anymore or working the kind of job where you have to submit quarterly reports doesn't help."

"We were just talking about your investing thing," Sugisaka said. "Are you making any money?"

"No, the Apple stock keeps going down. I should probably save more so I can buy it when it's even lower. I haven't been putting any into it in a while."

"Apple?"

"It's a software company based out of California. They're going to really blow up a few years from now."

"How do you know?"

"I've got a good feeling about it."

Everyone stared at him for a few minutes. _Just you wait. This'll be really funny a few years from now._

He tried to picture it, but he hardly had the next month figured out, since there was no telling when Honda would come back as manager. That would cut into his finances, but at least he would have less worries about leaving the shop here and there. _Well, that was the reason he wanted help in the first place, apart from giving his nephew a chance at a life outside the ratrace._

When eventually everyone started to go home, starting with Nagisa, since her parents probably expected her back, then Nishina and Sugisaka once it was decided they would go out to eat with a work friend, he was left alone with Yasui. She got up and walked to the small kitchen.

"I'm going to miss both of you," he said. "It's basically a certainty that he's got the job, right?" She nodded.

"I would not have accepted Mitsui's well-written roommate application if I did not know that. I know you said you would be fine with four in the house, but Ao and I think it would be crowded." She exhaled slowly. "I wish you the very best of luck that you can keep this place. I never thought I would grow attached to it."

"Now you are, though?"

"Yes. It was always what I wanted as a little girl; getting married and living in a small house and still being able to sing. The baby might have come a bit later, but it was still on the list."

"Well, if you asked Yoshino-sensei about being pregnant, I guess you could as her husband about managing a career in music." _He could at least tell you what not to do._

"Maybe," she said, seeming to want to leave it at that.

Tomoya went to his room and remembered he had to exercise, as opposed to reading the book, which meant rolling out the futon where there was no rug or mat available. He did not mind doing crunches on a hard wood floor in the moment, but the more he did it, the more he noticed the skin on his back wore through; he would look in the mirror and see red spots lining up with most of the vertebrae of his spine. The bruises were not terribly painful, but were somewhat unsettling.

_Since when did I care about my appearance this much? Is it because of Nagisa?_

During one time skip or another, he had cut his hair again, probably professionally, though since he did not remember having done it, he had no idea where the barber was. With some amount of familiarity about how he approached problems, he most likely would have asked someone the day of, walked there, and then thrown out the receipt after that. He knew he had to get good at budgeting, but keeping receipts seemed like a waste of time, when the alternative was simply spending as little as possible.

Getting out his razor after exercising, he decided he could move his morning shave to night and have a bit more time in the morning, though he would not want to develop stubble toward the end of the day. _Why am I focusing so much on this?_ A clean face was part of his look, and it was required for work; he had no doubt that Honda would have said something if it seemed like that was going to be an issue. _Maybe I'm just starting to be a boring adult._

Tomoya had heard from some of his friends that conformity was less important in other parts of the world, most notably America, which was where Kotomi went. Apparently people were still expected to dress and groom themselves for work, but that was about it. Children mostly wore whatever they want; it was really only older adult men who seemed to have a societal uniform.

"Makes you wonder if that's something else we'll just pick up at some point," he muttered to no one. He didn't mind the fast food places, though they were not really his thing; he kind of thought it was really no different seeing a bunch of samurai with bowls of miso than other sorts of steel men sitting on an I-beam eating hamburgers. What annoyed him were the more subtle, harder to directly observe aspects of culture, like apologizing when someone else felt wronged, or having face. It was not as if he could blame international influence every single time someone was rude to him; he could be reasonably certain that sort of thing happened in the Edo period, but the connection was hard to ignore.

"That's enough worrying about stupid things I can't control for one night," he decided, still without an audience. The silence around him never bothered him for most of high school, probably because he took Sunohara for granted, but it was starting to get to him. No man could claim to be an island, after all.


	97. Last Impressions

Helping his friends move was probably the most difficult part of the morning, but at least he knew how he was going to explain being late if anyone asked. _It should be a pretty slow morning. I can't be missing that many customers by being out here._

Ao and Yasui had rented a car rather than hiring any kind of moving service, principally because what little furniture they had did not justify the expense. _Some of it came with the house. Where they're going, they'll probably have something, but they'll need to outfit the place more if they want to live there._ He had agreed to barter them the hot plate Ao had repaired and a futon he brought from home in the event they needed to use it for more housemates for whatever they could afford to leave behind, and he hardly felt like it was generous on his part, but it was not as if they could do anything else. _Even trying to sell the furniture that we have in the house would take a while, and it would basically violate our terms with Mitsui. If Sunohara's ever a paying tenant, it'll be the same._

In a few moments, he figured there was nothing more to do with which they needed his help, so it was time to say goodbye.

"I know it hasn't been very long," he started. "Hasn't always been the best either, I guess."

"We weren't expecting that," Ao said. "Honestly all I knew when I met you was that you were a decent guy."

Tomoya decided not to remind everyone of the circumstances under which the two of them met. He was not in a hurry to remember it himself, what with the fact that he assaulted Miyazawa just so Sudou would attack him instead of the actual criminals in the room. _If she came up to me tomorrow and told me she never forgave me, I'd believe it._

He went to work and saw his boss already there. The building had not been unlocked, because he was carrying the only set of keys, though there were some customers around. _Damn._

"There you are, Okazaki. Find those keys like I asked?"

"Yeah, I've got 'em right here, sir," he said, picking up on the bit. _I think we've actually done something like this before. I can't remember when it was._

"What about that lady about my age?"

"Oh, that very young lady, sir? Couldn't tell she was out of high school?"

"That's the one," Honda said as they all went into the shop.

"I guided her across the street." He went behind the counter and started preparing the order for the customer, who was not minding the wait all of a sudden. They already had the payment ready, suggesting they had ordered the same thing at least once, though he did not recognize either of them. _Well, it's entirely possible Honda just told them what the cost was while they were waiting._

They left with their order.

"Where were you really?"

"I was helping my friends get their stuff into a car so they can move. It was the least I could do for them." He thought about it for a moment. "I know it's not an excuse, sir, but I was willing to cut into my opening time a little bit if I could do a last favor for them and send them off properly."

There was a pause. He cleaned his tools, noting that his boss was still wearing a cast. _Might have just dismissed him._

"Are you back, sir?" he asked.

"They told me get some walking in. Said it would do me some could. I couldn't agree more."

"Well, it's good to see you walking again."

"Have you been starting on time every day?"

"Yes, sir. My friends don't move out every day." He thought for a moment. "If anything, I've been in the shop longer every day. I've opened a few minutes early here and there."

"Okay. You know the butchery has a reputation to maintain."

"Yes. I know that, sir."

There were no more words for what felt like more than an hour. He worked silently while his boss stared at him for a moment before leaving. _They probably specifically forbade him from resuming work. It's a good idea to take yourself back into it gradually._

When he was alone again, there was a customer, though he could not get the idea of Honda setting him straight out of his mind; it was like his first few days of work all over again. _Was that the point? Was I really playing fast and loose with my interpretation of my responsibilities?_ He supposed that as acting manager, each sale that could happen, but did not, was his fault, so really it might as well be the case that he was responsible for more than he realized. _Maybe I should have made some arbitrary change, like moving something around in the display case. He would at least know I'm invested in the job and I care about making sales._

Tomoya decided to take it as a good sign that the butcher did not bring up anything about the revenue, which he presumed had been relatively good. It was possible, and something he had planned to bring out in the event that the boss got onto him about it, that some people were simply delaying their purchases for his return, but that would still reflect somewhat badly on how he ran the shop. _The only reason he would ever let me replace him is if I could convince people that there's no difference at all._

As it grew closer to winter in the world outside, he realized it had been around six months since he started, so most people probably still saw him as an assistant, a butcher in training, and he knew it himself that he was nowhere near the level of the master. He could do the job for the most part, but he still felt like there was still a lot to learn, and even with his limited experience in managing, it seemed like the task was still more complicated than what he had discovered so far.

There was another customer, which took his mind off things. He thought about going to see Kotomi's parents, to see if she was enjoying her time in America, though he already knew she liked it more than he would, seeing as he did not speak English or particularly get the culture. Apparently it was nothing like what he had read in _The Outsiders,_ which in all fairness had taken place about forty years ago.

It was lucky the customer had only wanted some chicken, with how distracted he was. _I can't start working my way up to where Honda is if I'm lost in thought all the time. How do other people manage to not be distracted? Did they already think about this sort of thing in high school, when I was just kind of feeling sorry for myself?_

He made it to lunch without any particular trouble, reminding himself it had only seemed to come sooner because he had spent part of the morning helping his friends move out. _We even woke up early. Really kind of a shame._

When he ate lunch he thought of how frequently he used to go by the bakery, though that was when he was living with his father and spending literally nothing on housing. In truth he still did not think it was very efficient that he had to move out when he was not even married, but he reasoned that the old man probably thought it was a prerequisite, that a girl's father would never respect him unless he could take care of himself. _I wonder what Akio would think of the fact that after my old man kicked me out, I went to live with him._

Tomoya knew he was worrying too much about things already passed. He had hoped that arranging a little get-together of old friends would help make it up to Nagisa for embarrassing her by extension, which he had to admit he did not see coming at all. It was not as if he could not reasonably guess if asked that some people at school would know the two of them were dating, or that whatever he said about himself would reflect on her, or that some people would probably think less of him for his job or the way he described it, but somehow he had never put the three of those things together. _I agreed to go to the career demonstration on a whim; it was just a favor for Mei, and that was because I felt bad for her. If I had thought more carefully about why I wanted to do it, maybe I would have taken it more seriously._

When he was done with his leftovers, realizing that he would be making his own food for a while, he had another customer.

"Officer Todoroki," he said, recognizing the police officer. "Looks like something's troubling you." _Why am I starting conversations like this? I'm not a barber._

"It's not the wife, just so you know. It's this case. Older fellow used to be part of the yakuza. He's got a rap sheet a mile long, but apparently he's more afraid of them than life in prison."

"What'd he do?"

"I can't tell you that. I can show you his picture to see if you'd recognize him, but that's it." The officer got out a photograph that looked like it came from a newspaper. Tomoya's eyes widened at the sight of the middle aged man. _He was one of the ones Miyazawa had mistaken for the man who killed her brother._

"How'd he get away from you in the first place?" It seemed kind of futile to turn himself in if already in custody.

"I'll assume you know him from a prior arrest. At the time, we didn't have anything solid on him. He had id that was basically indistinguishable from the real thing, so even though we recognized him, we had to act like he was someone else." He shook his head. "He even called this lady at his office and she answered about thirty questions about his work."

"Probably not a prostitute, then."

"No, probably not. She was probably someone working for the mob."

"I didn't know the mob had secretaries."

"I didn't either." There was a pause. "I'll have two kilos of ground beef. I'm thinking about hamburger."

Tomoya did the simple multiplication in his head for the price and assumed the officer had a family or something. _He looks pretty young, I guess. Couldn't be forty._ The customer thanked him and left.

As he thought about the case, it seemed like it was already solved and straightened out, so what the stressor was escaped him. _Maybe they're worried someone's going to get to him in his cell._ He had some idea that law enforcement did not simply take information criminals gave them at face value. Usually whenever someone was trying to plea bargain, they had to have some kind of ongoing investigation, or the information would be worthless.

 _Well, at least it isn't like one of my friends is in trouble again. If Ryu has anything to do with this he can go to prison._ The phone rang in the middle of his thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Oh, good, it's you." It was Kyou's voice. "My mother has calmed down a bit. She heard that Ryou has been talking to some guy at work and apparently that's enough for her. The dinner party went well, though as you might expect everyone wanted to know about the guy, and she didn't have all that much to say."

"She probably doesn't know all that much, but even if she did, she wouldn't want to just-"

"I know. I just thought I would tell you that she's basically fine, in case you cared."

"That's good. I'll know to go to you for help again the next time your mother offers me your sister's ass on a silver platter," he said, hanging up. _She didn't deserve that; she's just pissed._ He frowned a bit. _What a coincidence._

Tomoya sighed loudly. He wanted to call back and apologize, but he did not think that he at all overstated what Fujibayashi did by telling him that there was no rule about waiting until marriage in their household. _Well, would you look at that. Even I'm being influenced._ He reached for the phone, but the door opened.

"Hello."

"Did you just have a call? Is it a bad time?" It was an older housewife who could be called a regular.

"Oh, no, it's never a bad time to be doing my job," he said. _Why is Honda never here to hear me say things like that?_ "What would you like, the usual?" The lady looked a little uncertain about his reassurance. _Damn. Let my professionalism slip in the middle of a bit of personal conflict. What was I thinking. Can't let that happen again._

"I think I'll have one of those," she said, pointing to the beef ribs.

"One kilo?"

"No, a whole rack," she affirmed.

"Oh, do you need help with that?" he asked. "It's pretty bulky and..."

"No, no, I drove today," she said, though he was convinced she was lying. _Is she trying to get me to follow her outside? No, then she wouldn't have asked whether it was a good time or not._

"Well, take care," he said. He wrote down her order after she paid for it, and it was not an insignificant sum. _No one ever gets the whole rack. Is this some other holiday everyone conveniently forgot to mention?_

As the customer went out with the back ribs, he had some idea she seemed able to carry them, but it did not seem the gentleman to just let her go as far as she was most likely going to go. _I'd have heard a car. Most of the people who come in are coming on foot. It's not a big city, but it is a compact one, and people walk basically everywhere._

He thought about calling Kyou again, at least to leave a message, but the moment was past. _I'll call after hours. It's unlikely they'll all be home. I might get Ryou, that would be okay, but it'd be better if-_ He shook his head. _I'm planning for things meaninglessly again, aren't I?_

Going home eventually, he was not surprised to see Mitsui there, but Sonohara was a bit of a surprise.

"Hope you brought a futon," he said as he walked in.

"Okazaki!" the blonde young man shouted. _Has he grown a bit of stubble? Why?_ "This is going to be the best movie ever."

"Why?"

"I'm in it," he said, as if that explained everything.

"Is it some kind of big-budget catch-all sort of film?"

"No, it's artistic," he said.

"Oh, so it's one of those long and boring films that ends up not making much sense by the time you get to the end."

"No! It'll appeal to people of all ages!"

"Got it, it's a small budget catch-all sort of film. I don't think I've seen one of those before." Sunohara looked enraged.

"If the producer let us talk about the script you'd be so blown away by what we have in store-"

"Yeah, if you'd seen the script. I highly doubt you're important enough for that."

"I am important! I play the third-to-main character's son who died in a car crash."

"So you never appear?"

"I appear in a picture on the wall in the second scene."

"Why was the main character looking at the picture."

"It's not the main character looking; it's her love interest, the police officer who was originally from Cuba but had to move to Japan to escape Fidel Castro."

"Aren't there countries that are a lot closer that aren't controlled by Castro?"

"That's not the only reason he went to Japan- okay, later in the film we learn that there was a Japanese old lady who showed kindness to him, and she turns out to be the main character's mother-"

"Is this a chick flick? Is that why you said 'people of all ages?' as opposed to 'everyone'?" He thought for a moment as he sat down in the living area. "You know, for you that's actually kind of clever."

"I think it's interesting, so far," Mitsui said. Tomoya looked over. _I hadn't realized she'd be listening to our stupid conversation._ "I can't wait until it comes out."

"Well, there you go, we do have an audience."

"Is it okay if she tells all her friends the plot of the movie?" he asked. "Maybe it would get them interested too."

It looked like his old friend was about to say something, but the jeweler's assistant sighed loudly.

"Are you trying to get him fired?" she asked. "He's clearly kind of a moron, so don't give him bad advice." She went upstairs.

"Oh, who is she, by the way?" Sunohara asked. "She said she was going to be moving in, but she didn't really talk about herself very much."

"That's probably wise. She probably doesn't want most people to know what all she's done." _Let's hope he doesn't take this as some kind of quest to find out what it is._

"All right. I've had a long day, so I'm going to bed."

Tomoya was left alone in the sitting area, thoroughly confused.


	98. Identity

Tomoya supposed it was remotely possible his friend had grown up, if only slightly.

 _I mean, he had to, right? What other choice was there? Did I really think he was going to end up on the street expecting someone to come by and take care of him?_ He supposed not. He had some vague memory of the blonde boy having more maturity than he did, when the chips were down. _Was that about finding jobs or something?_

It was not the first time he was grateful to be employed, but he no longer came in every day pleasantly surprised to have a job. He had a good idea of what he was worth to the old man, and if the idea of getting a permanent management position was supposed to be a carrot on a stick to get him to improve his performance or that of the shop, then so be it. He had tried to come up with ideas on the way to work, but so far nothing materialized. Honda was there when he arrived, though he still had a cushion of a few minutes, so he was not worried about being told off for being late. When the two of them had been working side by side, the earliest they ever came in was five minutes, and that was just to start sweeping or cleaning the tools, which they had to do when they were on the clock anyway. _I really don't think a single day passed when we were a hundred percent ready the second it turned to opening time._

Honda left after an hour or so, probably to walk as far as he reasonably could before going home. _I should probably tell him to take it easy. When the doctors tell you that it'd be good to get some exercise, they don't mean for you to become an athlete._ He knew perfectly well that exercise had a positive effect on most bodily functions, but the body needed time and energy to heal, and aggravating fractures while they were mending was a bad idea. _Damn, I forgot to leave a message with Kyou yesterday._

He called the number she had used before, which he guessed was her apartment, and as he had hoped, there was no one home, so he left a message for her and left it at that. About an hour later, after he had dealt with some customers, he got a call back, but it was a man's voice. He had an accent that sounded like he was from the north.

"Is this Okazaki?"

"Yeah."

"I checked my messages a bit ago. I know it was supposed to go to Kyou, but can you tell me what this is about? I'm the type who can't help but wonder about things, and it's going to be bothering me-"

"Yeah." _I guess this is what I get for not telling her directly._ "Yeah, it's just she and I had an argument a while ago, and basically she called me to tell me the matter had passed. The whole thing blew over. I... kinda insisted that she'd been wrong, and I know I hurt her feelings."

"Well, the last bit I got from the message. You don't like her or anything, do you? I don't want to have to butt heads with you."

"No, don't worry about that. I've got my own girlfriend."

"That's a relief. I don't really like conflict."

"I don't either." _Can't think of anyone who does, except possibly Sasaki._ "Well, now that that's out of the way, just tell her I called to apologize."

"Oh, right, you're probably still at work. Well, bye."

When the call disconnected, he realized he had not said his name in the message he left, so it was weird for Kyou's boyfriend to know it, especially from just his voice. _Maybe she's said something about me, or she's got an address book with my name next to the number for the shop._ He supposed he could ask her if she ever came by.

Though he did not expect anyone else to show up before lunch, he was surprised.

"Sagara," he said, not knowing what else to say. "Where's the cat?"

"Oh, you never quite know where a cat is unless he wants to reveal himself. I'm sure he's around, though." She had been in the shop before, he knew, and he had probably forgotten a few of the times she came in, if they took place during skips. _Well, it was only a few weeks each time._

"Are we looking for a gift for the cat, then?"

"He's not so useless he can't feed himself," she said. "I really never feed him more than cat food, and he always eats that gratefully, but he seems to have taken to more normal cat behaviors like mousing the dorm. The boys like to watch him slink around looking for prey."

"They must be bored," he said, wondering what she wanted.

"It certainly seems boring without you and Sunohara around. My parents are visiting me, though, and I'm going to prepare them a meal."

"Do you get along with them?" he asked, though he knew he should have asked what that meal would entail. _Ah, maybe I shouldn't be rushing the customer to the sale._

"Yes. They've sort of accepted that I'm not going to get married, which is fine, since they say they don't need anyone to take care of them in their old age. My father loves a good stir-fry, I know that much." He nodded. _Should me some chicken or beef, then._ "How about your parents?"

"Oh, I don't think I told you, but I don't still have my mother. My father and I are getting along better than a few years ago."

"That's good to hear. I remember there were some forms to sign your first year of high school, and you told me you were not optimistic you could get him to sign them." _I don't remember that._

"Well, that was probably because he was drunk, not because he had something against me. Oh, what do you want to make?" he asked. "I can recommend-"

"No, that's fine. I'd like a kilo of pork chuck; it's what I always use. I used it last time. Don't you remember?"

"Sorry, I get a lot of customers," he excused as he got the order ready and calculated the payment. "You seem... happy."

"I am. I came to a conclusion about how I want my life to go from here."

"Oh?"

"More of the same. I couldn't be happier with the way things are. Every new year I get to watch a new group of boys come through the dorm; watch them grow up."

"Kyou's the same way, but with small children," he said as he put the money in the machine. "I guess everyone who has to deal with kids has to like them or it just won't work. Well, it might work, but you wouldn't have the motivation to go through with it every day for what they're paying you." Sagara found that a bit funnier than he thought was strictly necessary, but he supposed it was a true statement.

"How are you doing, then? Are you still solving everyone's problems for them?"

"Well, I always make sure that's what they want. I don't just involve myself in people's lives."

"That's good to hear. You don't have rules that are that defined, though, do you?"

"No, I'm still working on that. I don't think it's a good idea to just go with whatever feels right. It seems kind of ridiculous to fault some of the people I've met for doing the same." The dorm mother only nodded.

"Thank you. I'll see you some day," she said.

"Thanks."

He refrained from telling her to come back. Somehow it seemed like she was just the kind of person who would walk in and out of his life whenever she felt like it. Though she was on display, and she seemed to hide nothing, there was a greater air of mystery around her than he had seen with any other living person. _I'm not even exaggerating._

The thought crossed his mind that he would be stuck with the same people from high school for the rest of his life, but he really did not consciously mind that. Really, the only problem he had with his high school years was with himself for not making the most of them, though he had no idea what he would be doing even if he had studied the whole time. Even if he could get into a university, there was no money for his basic living expenses unless he started working, and he had no idea what kind of job he could do while being a student. None of his close friends had gone straight to a university; Sakagami would, but she had another year.

Tomoya kind of gave up thinking about it, since he had enough alternate timelines about which to worry, as much as Nagisa said he really only needed to worry about one. He could see what she meant, that as long as he was in control of his actions he could just choose not to let himself act like he did, no matter what the circumstances were, but he could not help but wonder what they were, and what he could potentially do about them.

Lunch was fine, though it made him think of going to the bakery. He knew he could not actually afford to go there every day, but he was missing Nagisa; he decided instead that it had been longer since he had seen Kotomi's parents, and he could maybe invite her over there. In the days that seemed so long ago, when he walked a certain girl there almost every day, he understood that they thought he liked her; he understood that most people would probably think that. _Well, they also thought I was up to no good, and I hope I've set them straight on that already. It would be nice for them to know I have a girlfriend, though._ He knew she was getting out of school in a few hours and wanted nothing more than to go to the gates to meet her, but he could not leave the shop. _Maybe that whole plan can wait until after Honda's back._

He served a few more customers and finished up. There had been something of an uptick compared to when Honda was first injured, and being cynical he would assume that was because they decided to wait to see if he was simply taking a vacation, and gave up on that eventually, but to give his performance credit, it could also be explained by his gradually getting better at managing the butchery and gaining credibility in the eyes of the demand market. His last customer of the day was a little boy he thought he had seen before who wanted to buy organs, which basically confirmed what he had been thinking, if he remembered correctly.

"Son, is your family making you go out and buy groceries?" he asked, the words seeming too adult to escape his throat. He gave the boy what he ordered anyway, but watched carefully.

"No," he said, eyes unblinking. _Well, that doesn't tell me anything._

"Well, if they are, and if they're making you do a bunch of other stuff too, just tell them the people at the stores figured it out. The manager at the butcher shop knows that little boys don't go in and buy pig organs because they want them." The boy just nodded and ran off with the product after paying for it. Tomoya reminded himself that he did not know the situation of the family, and this may well be one of the kid's chores, in the same way that a lot of kids had chores, but it seemed a bit different from normal chores. Hikarizaka was generally considered a safe place, with the gang activity mostly not being violent, but there was a lot more than malice awaiting children in the outside world, like deceit, negligence, and simple lack of direction. There was one time he had wandered away from the family home as a child and he had not gone far, but it took his mother a while to realize he was missing and then come and find him. It was one of the last memories he wanted to have of her, but he rather clearly remembered being mad at her for bringing him back, since it was the farthest he had ever gone from home.

 _I was such a dumbass in those days. I mean, most kids are, but I feel like I had to have set some records at some point._ It was entirely possible that was how his father became more of a free range parent, because his wife was playing the helicopter, but there was no time to take care of that; he had places to be. _Namely, the park._

Walking to the park after work, he remembered he had to get groceries, so he would make it a short visit. Nagisa, however, did not come out to see him, either because she had not noticed, or because she was elsewhere. Akio was playing baseball with some kids. _Well, I might as well go get groceries. I can't expect people to be places whenever I want them._

At the grocer he picked up some vegetables and rice, which was always cheap. He was sure Mitsui had brought something with her, but he had not yet established any kind of food deal with her, and he knew Ao and Yasui took with them much of the preserved goods they had. _Not that I can blame them. It was a relationship where neither party had a lot of money and couldn't really afford to be generous, so we both just ended up looking bad. I'll have to do better with Mitsui._

When he made it home, she was eating something she had bought at a convenience store, which sort of took him back to high school, but there were definitely worse things than that. Putting the vegetables in the fridge because there was nothing else in there, he brought up the matter with her and she just sort of shrugged.

"Food has never really been an issue. It never makes up nearly the largest part of my budget."

"Well, yeah, some things just costs more than others. I find it helps to look at it in terms of 'where can I save', rather than what takes up the most money." _If I looked at it in those terms, it's the house by a long shot. Well, taxes aren't easy either._

There was no response for a moment. He started to wonder if he had offended her by saying something obvious, or if he was just being a drag. _I could put up with being a drag, though._

"I don't know how I feel about my landlord giving me financial advice," she said at length before going upstairs.

Tomoya had not really thought of himself as a landlord, but he guessed he was the owner of the mortgage for the property, and it probably hardly made a difference to her if she were being charged a percentage of that as opposed to rent. _She probably doesn't see herself living her for the rest of her life. Maybe I'm overstepping by asking her to basically forgo saving money so I can pay off the house. If she doesn't save, she won't be able to afford her own place and she won't be able to move out._

Generally, the advantage of living in a house was that one could live in there for longer more affordably, but Mitsui was probably going to leave at some point, either when she got married or some other opportunity opened up. Somehow it was difficult to imagine her getting married, though; she seemed entirely too disillusioned to make a happy bride. _I mean, she's still pretty girly. I don't know of a young man who wants to work in a jewelry store and discuss the meanings of stones._

The sun was setting and he decided it was too late to go back to the library to check out a book, so he exercised. It was not what he would call fun, he knew, but it was rewarding. He had gained a good bit of definition, though there was probably not enough energy going through his system for more mass. _Do I want more mass, though? I never really thought of myself that way._

He found himself reminded of the time Nagisa told him he had to hold himself to the standard of a good man, and not think about himself as a borderline delinquent just getting by and faking it until he made it. _What if I'm not a good man, though? I don't feel like one. I know a lot of my motivations are selfish. How can I expect myself to act... good, I guess, if I've got no reason to think that?_

Tomoya decided it would be easier to think of himself as a landlord, since apparently he was one. It occurred to him that there was no material difference between charging rent and a percentage of the mortgage, because the owners of most apartments were paying off the mortgage with rent. _That's a good place to start. At least I have some idea of what a landlord is._


	99. Adult Life

Going to work the following morning made him wonder whether or not Sunohara was up, as he had not checked in any way. He had never woken up with the guy before, unless it was in the other timeline, but he had never seen an alarm clock in the dorm room, which was the most likely reason he was late every day. How he evaded punishment was a mystery, since he kept drawing attention to himself, like the time he made it his life's mission to discover Sakagami's true identity, or something else at his usual level of stupidity.

As he arrived, there was a business order, which meant he needed to take a substantial amount of product across town, and still did not have a car he could use to accomplish that task. _I should ask Honda if I can borrow his. He never minded delivering to businesses, since there was a guaranteed payment that usually amounted to a lot._ Fortunately he was not delivering to the refrigeration company again, but to a maid cafe of all places. _Didn't think the clientele paid much attention to the food. Oh well, if they want twenty kilos of chicken, that's what they get._

On his way back he thought he saw someone he recognized, but he might have been mistaken. He shrugged it off. _I don't have to investigate every little thing I see._

Dialing the number for the hospital as soon as he got into the shop and saw there were no customers, he tried to get the front desk to connect him with Honda, but apparently he had missed his checkup. They had a few employees out looking for him.

"Even after last time, I wouldn't worry about it. He's probably taking a walk. He's not in his apartment, is he?"

"I don't know, sir, the number you called is the number he has listed. I sent physical therapist's assistant over there, but he has not returned yet." _I would've thought he'd call on his cell phone. Well, he probably would if there were something wrong. If the old man's just taking a nap or something, he would think that could wait until he got back._

"He's not got a cell phone?"

"I don't remember his personal number. I'm sorry. I know you're worried about your friend."

"Oh, no, it's fine; I just wanted to talk to him about something. Tell him I called when you find him," he said, ending the conversation. _It's not like I could get the car out here before tomorrow anyway._

He served a customer who apparently thought they sold fish for some reason, though he was happy to change to ground chicken of all things upon learning they did not. _Yeah, that's as good a time as any to remind myself that I don't know people's lives. I don't know what goes on inside their heads either._

Eating lunch was lonely, but he guessed he was glad Ryu was not there, at the very least. _Can't afford to take the kid out every day of the week. I don't know whether or not his mother thinks I can, but if she does, it'll be unpleasant._ From the outside looking in, he supposed it was a bit weird for him to refer to a high school boy as a kid or a teenager, but that was how he saw Ryu. _Maybe he's in school. I really hope they let him back in, after all he's been out, but I guess I can't blame them if they don't want someone connected to a gang around._

It occurred to him that he had not seen Oishi since he saw her with his father, which was unusual, but not terribly worrying. He guessed the two of them had something in common, and might become friends, which would be good for both of them, but it was not as if his father would ask her too many questions about how he had gotten to know her or her son. _It's like I'm playing tag with everyone I know and trying to keep track of who knows what because it would be too complicated and difficult to predict what would happen if I started mixing up different parts of my life._

Tomoya knew that everyone did that, to an extent; there were work friends and there were neighbors, and even without anything they explicitly wanted to hide, people thought their conversations with some friends would be difficult for their other friends to understand without context. It seemed to work out better to keep everyone in bubbles of context so that no one ever misunderstood anything, for all the good that did. There were times where it seemed kind of like one of those old dating games where people could reliably be found in specific places and the player had a map of town to choose where to go. _It's not that simple, though, is it?_

There was a customer who wanted to look for a while before picking anything, and just before the end of the day, he got a call from Honda saying he would be back the following day. He would not be pushing himself, but he was getting bored walking around town and needed something productive to do. _Well, there goes my management position._

"Oh, sir, do you intend to drive here? I had a business delivery this morning and it was pretty difficult without the car around."

"My nephew was using it to learn to drive, so it's still in Tokyo, probably. Most businesses in the area don't care if they have to come in for pickup; just tell them that delivery is not available and they'll have to come over." _I could do that, but then I can't collect my somewhat less exorbitant tip._

"Well, I guess there's not much else we can do about that," he said as the conversation ended. _Well, that was a lot of worrying for nothing. I can't think of any reason Mitsurugi would mention learning to drive the last time we spoke. Let's hope I can get through life without anyone ever asking me where I learned to drive._ He knew he needed a license, which he could get easily enough, but thus far he had been counting on the relatively low police presence in Hikarizaka and the sheer improbability anyone would stop him and check to see if he had a license. Even if he were stopped by an officer, probably for one of his errors, he could probably just say he left it at home and be left off with a warning. He knew most police were like that in town, and he had heard it was the same all over Japan, but had nothing to verify that information. _Maybe I'll ask Sunohara, since he lived in Tokyo for a while and probably did something illegal._

He walked to the library to check out another book on investing, preferably one on high risk investing. He expected to run into the regular librarian, who would definitely be able to point him to something like that, though not without an adjustment to her glasses and a suggestion of something wiser. _Lucky I'm not in the mood for anything wiser._

"Oh, hi, Okazaki," Miyazawa said as soon as he arrived. "Have you met our librarian?" she asked, indicating an older woman, which was exactly what he had been expecting.

"No, uh, how are you?"

"I am fine, thank you," she said, taking her leave almost immediately. _Do I smell like troublemaker or something?_ They watched her go for a moment.

"Are you looking for something different this time?" the assistant asked.

"Yeah, maybe something along the same lines, but it doesn't seem like there's any point to reading another investing guide. I really don't know enough about the field to make an informed decision about whether or not the text is reliable."

"Oh, well, there are a bunch of books about investing in general, the markets, and that sort of thing. I confess I haven't read all of them, but in high school I read about thirty percent of one book about the asset bubble, and it took the time to explain things whenever it went into concepts the average person would not understand."

"Huh. That sounds pretty interesting. I've never heard of a book like that; usually they either assume you know everything or they don't really go into that much detail."

"It was a set of ten volumes."

"I guess that explains why you didn't finish it." _It probably also explains why no one wanted to read it, and it ended up in the backup library._ He thought for a moment. "You seem like a good judge of books. Out of everything this library has on investing, what would you recommend?"

She thought for a moment before responding.

"I think you probably have not fully read the book you recently returned."

"Apart from that one."

"Apart from that one, I can recommend a nice multi-volume set."

"Okay, that'll do," he said, thinking she was joking or something before almost immediately thinking better of it. Miyazawa disappeared and in about five minutes returned with a book rack. Fortunately, there were only three volumes. Tomoya did not want to appear like he had not understood what he was doing, so he went ahead and checked out the books, to the gentle, yet bright smile of his old friend. As he walked out with the volumes in hand, he thought to himself that if he really intended to study the subject seriously, he should at least be willing to read some long books. _After all, that's basically what learning is sometimes._

He was under the impression that not so long ago, education did not take the form of interactive lessons, but of simply reading until the subject matter was understood, though there would have to be a test, or else no one would know whether or not the student had learned it well enough. It seemed better for students to have an approach where someone monitored their learning so that they would not waste their time reading something for months to find that they had a misconception about it that compounded and colored their understanding going forward, so he could see why the classroom approach was favored, especially with children.

At the same time, there had to be circumstances where employed adults would need to learn things, especially with new technologies, which probably put some people out of work by being difficult to learn. _Well, it's probably not as simple as that. If something new comes out every week, it doesn't make sense to learn whatever's newest, because something newer will just replace that. The twentieth century was probably where we learned about rational ignorance. Once we had an infinite amount of information at our fingertips, we realized we didn't need or want to know everything there was to know._

When he arrived at home, he caught Mitsui making rice. It was too early to say that she had taken his words to heart, and he felt like it would be taking too much credit for the situation if he even put it like that, so he did not say anything as he walked in, until she asked him how work had been.

"I guess it could have been better. I basically just lost my management position, since the real manager is coming back. He'll leave eventually, but I'm having my doubts about how soon that'll be." He sighed. "I'm trying to be grateful for the opportunity. How was work for you?"

"It was fine. At jewelry stores, we probably do not have as many customers as butcher shops, since the product is more expensive and lasts a lot longer, so a fast day for us is something like three customers." Tomoya nodded. The distinction made sense. _They probably let the customers look around as long as they want and show them as many different products as it takes rather than trying to help them make a decision, if they're not expecting too many people anyway._

"It was a fast day for you?"

"Yes, but no one bought anything except this old lady who seems to be collecting earrings. My supervisor and I hate her."

"She's not your boss? It's not a two-person operation?"

"It is, but she technically doesn't have the title of manager of the store. It's a chain, so there's a financier somewhere, but he's really only concerned if we aren't making more than we're spending, since he's the financier of a few other businesses as well. Someone higher up on the ladder decided that if there was a supervisor and a financier, there was no need for a manager." He could tell she was frustrated. _She could have picked up some of those opinions from her supervisor, I guess, but then it's probably even more likely to be correct since she's been there longer._

"Okay, so basically the decisions about how to run each location is all managed from the top down? Does that work?"

"I guess they're looking to be the fast food equivalent of jewelry stores." She sighed. "It's not bad craftsmanship, and it's definitely not cheap, but that's the business model as far as I can tell."

"Where are you going with the job?" he asked. "I don't expect your supervisor is just going to retire."

"No. I'll probably get a different one. She's not qualified to decide my wage, so she can't promote me, which basically means I'm not going to be promoted. I'm probably going to be a sales associate somewhere else, or have a full commission sales position."

"Oh, so you don't work on commission now."

"No, it's only part commission; we also have an hourly wage since we don't hire anyone to come in and clean after hours." _Well, neither do we._ "It's not like the model doesn't make sense at all. I just really wish it could be more tailored to the local consumer. It's like they think every woman wants the same thing."

"Yeah, they don't even want the same thing they wanted when they came in." Mitsui glared a moment, but it passed.

"Well, there's a reason we have to lead most of our customers around and go through everything in the store. If it's guys shopping for their girlfriends it's because they don't know anything but they don't want to just buy the first thing they like since it's such a huge purchase, if it's a woman, well, there's no telling if she's getting something or not."

"Are there any other trends you've noticed?"

"My supervisor noticed them a long time before I did. She told me that it was not really stereotyping, and I should take it into account because it will affect my commission. I... resisted at first, because I felt like it was unfair, but then not only did I see it every day, it really did factor into my commission. One of the trends I noticed was that it was a ton of younger guys, like sixteen to mid twenties, and all the women were over thirty. Well, sometimes it was an older gentleman."

Tomoya tried to think of why that might be. _Maybe young men buy less and less jewelry once their wives have what they want. No, if they did that, then they wouldn't be coming back ten years later._ He had heard somewhere that men and women did not necessarily have the same taste in jewelry and that sometimes the women getting totally blind gifts would not be thrilled with how they looked, but not want to say anything because of how expensive they were. _I got Nagisa a pendant once. She really seemed to like it._

"I'll bet the women are more likely to know what they want when they're buying it for themselves," he said. "If they're coming in after they're already married-"

"It's because the men in their lives have stopped buying them jewelry, yes. Most of us are aware of how it works."

"How what works?"

"If you ask women what age range of men they think is the most attractive, it's usually pretty close to their own age range, unless they're weird." He thought it was a dismissive way of talking of people's preferences, but refrained from comment. _She's mostly just telling me this because she's upset, anyway_. "If you ask men what their favorite age range is, though, it's usually, again, unless they're weird, from the age of consent to twenty something." She sighed a little. "Don't ask me why. We just sort of have the best time in our lives for maybe the first twenty five years, and then it's all downhill from there."

"I wouldn't- I mean, I wouldn't know, but I've met older women who wouldn't say that." His first thought was of his own mother, but she was dead, and therefore a bad example. "Nagisa's mother seems pretty happy with her life."

"Well, you may have met a lot of people, but you haven't met everyone," Mitsui said, going upstairs. _I don't think I ever claimed to have met everyone._ He shrugged, reminding himself she was a housemate, not someone for whom he was exactly responsible. _That's not how it works, though, is it?_


	100. Chapter 100

Tomoya went to work the following morning without having seen Sunohara at all. _It's not like I'm worried about the guy, but if I leave him alone long enough, there's going to be trouble for someone. I wonder if he's still paying rent on his studio apartment in Tokyo. Well, first I'd have to know if he ever paid it in the first place._

There were no customers right when he came in, nor were there any until a familiar old man showed up. He wanted to assume they were dealing with a regular, but apparently he wanted tripe and tongue, and he could have sworn he would remember something like that if someone had ordered it before. _Someone apart from that kid, anyway._

"Oh, sir?" he asked when there was a free moment. "I saw this kid come in; I think I've seen him before. I can't say what it is other than the dirt cheap orders he always places, but I think his family is making him go in and buy food for them."

"I did chores like that as a kid," Honda responded. _Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that._ "It comes down to whether or not the kid is okay with it. As long as I've been alive, there was never a case where the parents were cautioned and that was it; the kid has to be ready to leave or put up with it."

"Well, okay, I guess. I really don't know what to do about this sort of thing," he said. He could not have honestly said he knew anything about whether that kind of ultimatum was necessary to present to a kid. _Might not have any other family anyway._

Oddly, it made him think of Mitsui, who seemed to imply that she did not really admire her family members; certainly she was not envious of her parents. He was not able to say why, since he had not discussed the matter all that extensively, or at all, really, but it was nothing like what Nagisa had with her own parents. _Leave it to me to get in the way of that. I have to see her in person soon. There's something important._

A customer came in asking for chicken parts, and they were happy to provide, especially since he already seemed to know what he wanted. _Guess you don't see his type in a jewelry store too often._ He was tempted to hang his head, but then the boss would ask questions.

It seemed that whether he liked it or not, he would have to at least see what was going on with the girl living in his house. Previously, he had thought of her as a means to an end, the end being helping the shop and protecting Nagisa. _If I start thinking of her as her own person, is it going to make me look unfaithful? She knows I have a few friends who are girls, but if I start inviting new girls into my life and helping them with their-_

There was another customer, which was good, since it was work, though he reminded himself he was on an hourly wage again. He supposed he could be grateful that there were not too many delivery calls while Honda was out, but he could not expect them to just start pouring in. _Nothing ever works out quite the way I planned it. Might as well get past that._

In his plans to help his friends, he found he usually managed to help by some definition or perspective on the concept of help, but it rarely happened the way he expected. It was worth considering that he might just be terrible at expecting things, or terrible at making plans, but he did not really know how to get better at either of those things. _Maybe I should start to keep track of what happens in my life more. If I had a journal or something, I could at least look back on what I even did and where I messed up. There's a chance I wouldn't do the same things again._

He decided to start the journal the day he tried to play soccer in the park with Sunohara, since that set up . It would take a long time to write it all out, and he knew he would not be able to remember everything, but it was possible that starting at what felt like the beginning would remind him of a few other things that had also happened. The idea was that if he could keep track of what he was thinking, what he had hoped to achieve, he could avoid making the same mistakes at the very least. There were times in high school he continually felt like his memories were being overridden, so at least he could keep an account of where he started thinking differently.

As they took care of another customer before lunch, he thought about how it would have been nice to have his original memories, though he could not exactly say whether those were from the other timeline, or from earlier in his current timeline, if there was anything that actually happened before he noticed a difference. _I still can't figure out whether I traveled through time or what. There's entirely too many possibilities._

Lunch was quick, but that was to be expected. They had a customer come in while Honda was out and he was in the middle of eating, but he was happy to put his rice down and serve. _It's not like it wasn't already cold._ The experience made him think back to the days of bringing in the hot plate to cook inventory because a more efficient way of doing things had not occurred to him. _I probably should have just brought rice for lunch and brought the meat that would have expired home. It'd be a way of storing up an account with the Furukawas, I guess. I could have given some to my father; that would have helped him a bit._

He thought there would be a relative low in customers for the rest of the day, but four came into the shop and there was one delivery to run, which was happily not far and at the end of the shift, so he decided to end out the day with that.

"Mrs. Isogai," he said as the lady opened the door. _I'm glad to see you can call someone other than the police._ "We're glad for your patronage." She was not a regular; to his knowledge she had never ordered before.

"Thank you. The service was much faster than I expected," she said. _I'm not surprised. You call the same people often enough, they start to figure it's not necessarily an emergency._ They exchanged what they had each brought to her doorstep and parted ways, though he was not going far. _It's time to get over this problem._

"Okazaki," Sanae said as she saw him at the door. "We did not expect to see you here." She was wearing a smile as always, but her words revealed her hesitation.

"I know. I was annoyed about the rules, not really the content of them, but, well, the necessity of them and- I guess I thought that if I couldn't see Nagisa here, I'd just see her whenever I had the chance. Seeing her at work on her way home from school- it just seemed like a way of sticking it to the rules about being under supervision."

"We knew our daughter was not always going to be under our supervision. That was why we had rules." She said it so simply he almost had a hard time disagreeing.

"I know that. You'd have to have an eye on her, though, if you wanted to know whether or not the rules were being followed. Has Nagisa ever indicated that she's upset with me?"

"No, that was what worried us. Most girls have good days and bad days, disagreements, things out of your control, and other complications. When we were not seeing any of that, we thought there was a chance you were putting on a perfect show for her."

"Well, she was the one putting on a show, and she was putting it on for you. I know you guys tell each other everything, but- don't young people usually not tell their parents about relationship things? Like, I don't know, if you had a fight with Akio a long time ago, would you have told your mother and father about it, or would that have made him not like him?" He sighed a bit. "Nagisa and I were talking once and basically we agreed that it was kind of like a contest to see if I was good enough. She wasn't just going to sabotage me by telling you every time I made her upset. Did she tell you about every date? I honestly don't know if she would."

He had given Sanae something to mentally go over, so he did not expect any kind of immediate answer, and he knew she knew way more about her daughter than he did, even if he had seen a different side of her.

"Thank you for being honest and clearing things up. What did you do to make her upset?"

"I didn't always know, but, well, recently it was kind of embarrassing myself at a school career event, which reflected badly on her." She nodded. "I really just didn't care what anyone there thought of me and I didn't really think about how that might get back to her. I hadn't known that she had told people we were dating, even though I really should have figured that, because I should have figured that she would have reason to tell people that." He sighed. "It turns out cute girls don't really get a choice about whether or not they want to be social butterflies."

Sanae only smiled.

"That kind of thing is normal. It's expected you would do something like that once, and it's expected that she would get upset. I know that Nagisa might not see it this way, but we would not immediately remove you from consideration as a potential husband for her just because of something like that. What we want for her, most of all, is to live a long life where she can love and be loved."

"Is she here?"

"Yes, but she's not feeling well today. It's the first day of winter."

"Oh." He looked down a bit.

"We were hoping that if we caught it early this time, she would recover more quickly."

"Yeah, that makes sense, depending on what it is."

"We have had doctors look at her, and they still don't know how to treat it. They told us we should keep doing what we have been doing."

"Yeah, I think we've said that. I'm not a doctor or anything, I just worry that there's something else we should be considering." He thought for a moment. "Is it okay if I come to see her later?" he asked. "I can learn... firsthand what all you have to do to take care of her."

"There's no secret formula. Most of what it requires is patience and love." _I can remember that._ "Akio said he saw you recently. You went to the park."

"Yeah. I didn't stay long. I guess I just didn't know what I wanted to accomplish. I'll have to keep better track of that going forward."

"That would be a good idea, I think," she said as he turned to go. "Thank you for coming. When Nagisa wakes up, I'll tell her you were here."

"Thank you," he said after thinking if he had anything else to say. _I can't just say 'tell her I love her', that'd be cheating. She wouldn't believe I said something like that in front of her mother._

When he went to the house, he got some paper out of his old school things and found the dream journal. _That's right, a few of those dreams came in pretty quickly, so I couldn't really dwell on them. I remember most of them, I think, but this should give me a clearer picture._ He sat down and let out a deep breath. _Anyway, I should start from the beginning._

Right when he was about to start writing, it appeared Sunohara had just come home.

"You're home earlier than expected." _I think Mitsui's in the room we just sort of decided was hers._

"Well, when we got done filming, they didn't want to compensate our supper, so they sent us home."

"You're working with a really cheap studio."

"Yeah, well, at least we're making a good movie."

"It sounds convoluted."

"Well, that was a lot of plot details and I said them all at once."

"It sounds convoluted and I don't even know what happens."

"Well, screw you, Okazaki, you can see it when it comes out." He started to walk off, but then walked back. "What's for supper, anyway?"

"There was some inventory that would have gone bad, so I took it home." _I would have given it to the Furukawas, but I didn't want to stay there much longer._ "It's not much, but we can stretch it out through a few stir-fries or whatever. It's meat, so you're not eating that much of it in one sitting anyway." He remembered his friend used to eat a pork cutlet bowl every day of the week, or so he boasted.

"That sounds pretty good."

"Where's your cut of the mortgage payment?" Tomoya asked, getting vegetables out of the fridge. _Do I really need to put them in the fridge? Ah, well, it's not like I have anything else to put in there. At the very least it'll keep the bugs out._

"I don't get paid until they stop shooting." _Yeah, I figured they wouldn't give him anything for a while. No sense in letting him forget, though, because he will._

"They're keeping you on the hook? How do you know they're not going to just fire you?"

"They wouldn't do that-" Sunohara started to object.

"I know companies around here are supposed to be nice and understanding, but they're not going to keep you on if you're not providing enough for what they're paying you."

"I don't get paid until the end of the-" He stopped himself. "If they're giving me delays, that's a good reason to think that they're getting rid of me?"

"Apparently that's what happened to Ao. They knew about his record and said they were waiting to confirm things with the higher ups, so they got him to finish what he was doing at the time."

"That sucks. Actually, that's a real dick move."

"It's what makes sense for them to do. They were annoyed about the fact that he hid his record from them, and he didn't really have a good way to complain about it." _Come to think about it, as discouraged as he got during his job search, he never really took it out on his old employer._

"I wouldn't do that."

"You haven't had the opportunity," Tomoya said. "It's just words until you've had the opportunity."

"Well, what would you do?"

"It doesn't matter what I would do. I'm pretty sure I would do what it made sense for me to do, which is basically whatever contributes to paying down this house. If the other higher ups were convinced it was a bad look to have former criminals working for us, and it would make a difference on the bottom line, I'd have to go with what they suggested if I couldn't convince them it wouldn't make a difference, and I would only be doing that because he's my friend. If I didn't personally know him, I probably wouldn't be bothered."

There was a pause. It looked like Sunohara was about to go upstairs, but decided against it, taking a shower instead. _Just needs to think about things. I'll bet he vents with his coworkers about their employer and it's probably fun to have someone to blame for things._

When he decided not to bother his old friend any more about that kind of thing, since he realized they were never the type of friends to have arguments and talk about serious things, it occurred to him that they might just be growing apart entirely. It was something that happened, he knew. It was something that happened all the time, but it never really occurred to him that he would lose a friend, since he had told himself the guys he knew from basketball were never really his friends. _Especially not one who was around for so long. I don't know what I would have done without him in high school. It's weird just to think about it._

He went back to his room after doing his exercises.

Sitting down in front of his old school things, he found a blank page somewhere and waited for inspiration to strike him. There was something wrong, though.

 _I'm not lacking in inspiration. I just don't want to think about Sunohara being my friend without even trying, just reflexively hanging out._ It seemed wrong to start the story like that. He sighed a little before deciding he could wind it back a little.

_I guess I could start it with waking up or something. That was always unpleasant._


	101. Changes and Memories

The succeeding morning brought with it little progress on the journal, but at least it was started. Tomoya felt like once he had something started, he could finish it at some point, most likely, but there was still work to get done. He still had to go to work for nine hours a day, and that was not something he intended to change at all. _I'm starting to get why those high school kids think less of me because of my job. I probably would have thought the same thing, back when I was going places. I would have thought it was an easy job I could just pick up and do whenever, if I only had the stomach._

As he carefully butchered a side of pork, however, he hardly needed the reminder he would have been wrong. The job seemed to take care of that by itself most days. _I wish I'd been to higher education, but really only for investing. It's not like I wanted to be in school any longer._ He mentally shrugged. _I guess that's how I ended up working and reading a book._

When they had dealt with two customers, Honda stepped out for a break, which was fine by him, since there were no deliveries to run. _Unfortunately, I can't give myself any credit for being acting manager whenever he takes a break, though. I wonder where he's going. I'm pretty sure it's got nothing to do with the injury, since they probably delayed his release until he was fine, not just when he started to say he was feeling better._

Kyou came by and basically told him that she was tired of being mad at him and wanted to have a conversation, so he stepped out to talk with her, but stayed in view of the store, so at least Honda would know he was there when he came back. She looked like she was still dressed for work.

"What did you mean when you said my mother offered you my younger sister?" she asked.

"I'm sorry about that-"

"I know, my boyfriend told me you called. I just want to know what you meant."

"The Furukawas have this rule where if I'm going to be dating their daughter, among other things, I can't, well, take her home with me. I don't have a problem with it. I think she found out about the rule by talking to Nagisa's mother, and basically she told me that there was no such rule with Ryou. I thought it would look bad if I threw her out of the store, so I just started sharpening one of the knives and ignoring her."

"So since you would only be hanging out with Ryou for a short time, rather than dating her and getting to like each other, the only reason she would be saying that to sweeten the deal is if she meant you could... have her... whenever."

"I don't know if she could really make an offer like that, but she did." He thought for a moment. "If I felt like interpreting it in the most generous possible way, I'd say she meant that it was up to her daughter whether or not she wanted to-"

"I know. I've tried to think of different ways of looking at it. I've talked to her, I've talked to Ryou... there was not much point in that, but I did."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I think I'll tell her how I feel. That's all I can do right now. Please don't get involved yourself."

Tomoya was about to say he had just about enough of the old bitch, but it was a sensitive issue. He knew that Kyou valued her mother, as much as he knew he missed his own. _There's nothing I can really do anyway._

"I don't know what I would do if I did," he admitted. "There's more than enough where I have a better idea of what I need to do. I know that sounds really vague-"

"That's incredibly vague. Excuse me, Okazaki. I don't think I want to talk right now."

As she left, more than ever he wanted to do something for her. _No, she asked me not to involve myself. I couldn't possibly get a clearer message._

He went back into the shop to see that, mercifully, there had been no customers while he was out, but he went ahead and cleaned the tools, since he had accustomed himself to the task. He looked over to Honda.

"Sir, I'm sure your bones have mended, but it seems better not to test things like that. I would like to do the heavy lifting myself from now on." The old man did not say anything in response. "If there's anything to be loaded into the locker, any kind of-"

"I get it. You can do it if you want."

There was no argument. He supposed it was not that unusual, since they had decided how they would divide up tasks in the past, like the time where he took the night shift, so it was really no different. _It's not like he even remotely wanted to take the night shift. I don't think he ever would have acted like he could do that. Did I expect him to make the case that he can lift heavy things without hurting himself, even though he was injured recently?_

He wondered if he was starting to conflate the old man with a certain other old man.

Tomoya did not remember lunch by the time he made up his mind to go straight home after work. The books he checked out of the library were long, and if he ever wanted to have them read, he would have to start soon. _I wonder if there will be any point, though, since I might just advance forward in time again._ He still had absolutely no idea what cause the phenomenon, though technically he still did not know why he had visions; there was just a correlation with helping people and having them. _Have I really not helped anyone in a while?_ He remembered a time in high school he wanted to avoid having more of them because he did not want to see any more of the other timeline, if it really was a different timeline, but that was starting to seem progressively more like a childish objection.

_Well, it's been a while since I wrote anything in the dream journal, and it's been even longer since I had any of those visions. I guess I might have forgotten how bad they were, but they haven't made me regret what I did._

They had a few more customers before the day ended, and Honda told him he had gotten into a habit of sharpening the tools too often, which wore them down more than necessary, but it was not a major issue, more like a piece of advice. Tomoya hoped he had not found the knife he sharpened rather aggressively when Fujibayashi was there last. Going home straight away, he still wanted to see Nagisa, but it seemed unlikely she would be any better than the previous day. _At least it means her time in school is basically at an end. She's accumulated enough credits to graduate._ He knew she would have preferred to attend her own graduation, but that seemed incredibly unlikely.

As he walked home, he wanted to hold out hope that it would be milder than last year, but it seemed like he would only be disappointed worse if it turned out to be the same. Reading the book took time, but there was nothing to interrupt him except making a simple supper, which he took back with him to read. It was not the best of ideas with a library book, but he felt like it was more time effective. The text interested him, though it was mostly about the history of finance at the beginning. _Let's hope I remember this. I wonder if there's any way that I can get it to where I know it reflexively, and don't forget it. Maybe it'll at least seem familiar._

He read for what felt like hours, and when he looked around, it turned out it really had been hours. Mitsui came home with some red around her face, something Tomoya remembered pretty easily.

"Which bar did you visit?"

"It's not far from where you work. I'm sure you've been there," she said, somewhat evasive.

"Yeah, I've been there. I can't say I was a fan." _The server was embezzling protection money to get the Sasaki gang off her ass._ "That's probably partly due to the fact that my father struggled with alcohol for years."

"Yeah, well, my parents didn't exactly struggle with it, and neither do I."

"That's one way of putting it."

"Is that how you respond to everything?" Mitsui asked.

"What?"

"It's like you're nominally polite, but anyone can see that you have no respect for-"

"I mean, yeah, I've got a hard time respecting people who can just drink all they want and not see any kind of issue with that. When I say my father struggled with alcohol, I really mean it. He was basically trying to quit since he started, but-" He sighed. "Everyone has problems-"

"Well, I don't have a problem." Mitsui went upstairs without needing to stick her arms out to balance herself. He had some idea of how much she probably drank based on when she came back, how her face looked, and her voice, but he guessed she was at least handling it. _Maybe work got out late or something._

When eventually it was time for bed, he found himself staring at the ceiling for a long time before actually managing to sleep. It was not his housemate specifically that had him thinking, but she did have something to do with it. _Is this what I'm doing? Looking for visions of the future? If she doesn't appear in my memories from the other timeline, it's not going to give me a vision. Was a vision what I wanted?_

It seemed too generous toward himself to say that he wanted to help just because it was the right thing to do, but that made him think of what Nagisa said about how he was supposed to see himself. _I'm supposed to think of myself as good so I hold myself to that standard. What if I think I'm doing things for the right reason, but really my motives are unrelated to that?_

Tomoya did not remember when he fell asleep, but when he awoke he was reasonably certain he had not quite puzzled out what he was supposed to do. He had a thought about asking his girlfriend, but that was kind of like arguing with her that what she had asked of him was unreasonable. He was out the door and on the way to work before he remembered that she was not feeling well, and needed as much rest as possible.

 _What do other people think they are?_ He arrived at the shop, not seeing Honda anywhere. _Do people generally think of themselves as good?_ It was not a worrying thing that his boss was not there; he was late sometimes, almost always with no explanation. _Why do they think of themselves the way they do?_ He knew that he had probably thought the exact same thing about it when the old man turned out to be injured, lying in pain in his apartment, but that did not mean he was wrong this time. As the manager of the butchery, it was simply up to him as to whether or not he needed to be there.

Deciding that he would give it until lunch, and he currently had customers anyway, he went ahead and served the people who came in. The first was a housewife probably getting something ahead of time for lunch, and the second and third, oddly enough, were entire families. He did not know what possessed the parents to be taking their kids to the butchery, but apparently they were excited, pressing their faces against the glass display until corrected. They then wanted to know what the clucking sound was.

"You've never heard a chicken before?" he asked joking a bit.

"I know what a chicken is!" a little girl insisted. "Just because I've never heard one before doesn't mean-"

"Please, Sonoko," her mother said. "Please try to be less argumentative."

"She's not usually this-" the father started.

"Yes she is," a little boy muttered.

"That's quite all right," he said, happy something could get him to focus on something else for a moment. "Would you like to see a chicken?" He was going back to get one of the cages before the parents could object. There were avian allergies and infections, he knew, but he doubted those applied to where they were getting their chickens. _It's probably just the ones that interact with other animals and live outside all the time. There has to be a reason these bird-related problems are more common with wild bird species._

He brought a chicken back, out of its cage, though he doubted the damn thing knew how to fly at all. All of a sudden the kids wanted to buy a live chicken, which he said could be arranged, and if they would like something younger he had a few recently hatched chicks, but the parents would not be persuaded, humored though they were with his mostly not serious offer. Letting them leave with their order, he thought the approach they had taken to disciplining their children was reasonably good. The kids were not so whipped into shape that they did not have to be reined in at times, but it was clear that they turned down the offer of a live chicken as a lesson in thinking ahead, since they likely had no way of taking care of it, or possibly because their children just needed to be reminded who was in charge.

Tomoya could also imagine parents who would teach an entirely different sort of lesson by adopting a chicken, letting their children name it, and then slaughtering it and serving it, and he guessed he could see the point in that, but the ages of the children were a relevant factor. Learning that food had been alive at one point was something kids needed to know, but it hardly seemed necessary to teach them that when they were as young as those that had just come in. _I guess parents usually just decide what age is appropriate for what lessons on a case by case basis._

As he ate lunch, he remembered to call about Honda, which he did, calling the number he had for the Itou house.

"Hi, this is Okazaki," he said. "Is there a butcher in the house?"

"No, did he not tell you?" _At least she knows what I meant by that stupid joke._ "He was going to see the mountain snows. I tried to tell him not to go this year, but he said that would mean not going anymore-"

"Oh, that's right," he said, his voice sounding more sure than he was.

"It is alright," she said, though there seemed to be some reservation. _I can't think of why he wouldn't tell me. He usually explains his absences if he knows about them in advance._

Deciding that as long as Honda was okay, he could go ahead and keep working, he did not leave the shop until the evening, at which point he had served a few more customers, though he had not been expecting a slow day. _I should really go home and read the book again, even though I would really rather take a break from it. I'll get through the first volume in a few weeks._

When he went home, he was surprised to see Sunohara Mei in the sitting room.

"Are you here to visit your brother?" he asked.

"Silly Okazaki, he invited me to come live here." _I don't remember giving him leave to just invite anyone to be a housemate- it might work out, though, if her parents think this is cheaper than putting her up in a dorm or apartment. I really hope it is._

He could look through his bills to see where he was on the mortgage, but the probability of that having changed since the previous day was astronomical. _They're only going to be paying in monthly installments or whatever. This probably comes with the benefit of the younger, somehow more mature sibling being able to look after her older brother._

"Well, I'm happy about that," he said, getting a strange feeling. As he looked around for his books, he could only find the second two volumes. _Mitsui wouldn't happen to be borrowing the first one, would she? I can't imagine Mei's vocabulary is nearly good enough to work out most of the beginning, and there's no way the Sunohara I knew would care about people exchanging bank notes that represented gold because it was easier than trading gold. Did I read that last night?_

He started to look around as if he would notice something else had changed. Going up to Mitsui's room was the quickest way of seeing where she was, but he guessed the girl next to him would be staying in the same bed, with her brother in a futon somewhere. _Bill statements, where are they- I can't be behind-_

Picking up the one on top of the stack, he found the most recent utility bill was dated for mid February.


	102. Winter's End

Tomoya confirmed that at the very least he was not behind. He was making it, barely, since he could track the payments and could see where the Sunoharas started chipping in. He hoped the movie had been successful, though he could not find a payment that looked to be from that venture anywhere. _Damn. It's not like he would tell me what the check number was, and if he did, I wouldn't remember._ Looking at the books, he found a bookmark in the second volume, guessing he had returned the first one. The material on the previous pages seemed familiar, but he could not tell whether or not he was tricking himself.

Trying his best to keep a handle on things, his first thought of things outside the house was Nagisa. He knew it was still winter, because it was still cold out, so cold he had worn two pairs of socks, but he remembered he dressed himself as he went out, which had to be before he realized there was an advance in time. _When exactly did I travel through time? It had to be before I got to work, because Honda wasn't there- no, I would have noticed any time moving forward if I did that while awake. I had to have woken up thinking that it was still the beginning of winter._ He exhaled loudly. _Did I just have a feeling I would need to dress extra warmly?_

He was too confused to sleep, though he knew he had to, so he decided to knock himself out with exercising. _What the hell causes me to skip? Why can't I just move through life at a normal pace? Did getting a second chance even help?_

Casting his sweaty form onto the bed as he wore out, expecting his body heat to go down quickly while resting, and then back up as it became trapped by the bedding, but he could probably bear the temperature change, as long as he fell asleep soon. That did not turn out the way he had hoped, unfortunately, but he would not be able to do anything about that. When eventually the exhaustion overcame his whirring mind and he passed out, he was surrounded by darkness. He thought there would be a vision for a moment, but the fact that there was not one almost worried him more.

 _Now I remember why I hated getting them so much._ He got out of bed. Looking over at his journal, apparently he had filled a good bit of it out, though there was an odd smell on it. _I must've been taking it to work. Smart, past me._

Walking to the shop as soon as he was dressed, he already had his day planned out. He would look through the journal every spare moment and fill out whatever he still remembered. When he got out, he would not waste a moment going to the bakery. There was no need to worry Nagisa, he knew, but he wanted to spend some time with her, in case he had been neglecting her lately.

There could have been any amount of things that happened in the past few weeks, but he had to remind himself that he could only afford to be concerned with what happened in his own life, because as little control as he had over that, he had even less control over what happened in the broader world. _I couldn't even tell you what goes on every day in the downtown area. I only ever go there for a delivery these days. Before I worked here, the only time I remember going there was to go to that warehouse for the gang fight._

He had a few customers almost as soon as he got to the store. His status as acting manager was a small, but perfectly necessary part of what was keeping him afloat. _The second the damn house is mine I'm in the clear, I'm just putting money away. If worse comes to worse I can possibly get a loan from a foreign bank or something. There have to be Chinese or Korean banks somewhere. I wouldn't think they would know anything about my father, so my credit with them would just be the fact that I have a job and I've always made payments._

The customers were at least pretty easy. For some reason, meat consumption seemed to go up in the coldest part of winter, probably because people were going with more warm, savory dishes as opposed to the lighter cuisine they seemed to like most of the time. There was also a relative high in the middle of the summer, possibly because people were more interested in barbecue parties or whatever, but he did not expect that to kick in for a good while.

When lunch came around, he thought of things he could try to do to increase revenue, and it was about then that he had a call. He picked up the phone right as he finished eating, because he did not want anyone to hear chewing sounds, even though everyone probably knew that it was lunch time.

"Hello? Is my order ready?"

"Are you the... three kilos of beef?" he asked, looking through the orders. "Sorry, sir, I don't think I wrote down whether you wanted to pick it up or have it delivered."

"Uhh, that's okay as long as it's ready. I'd like to have it delivered." Looking at the time he had five minutes. _Damn. Might as well take the time and do it properly._

"Okay, it may be a few minutes due to traffic or related delays. I'll see you soon," he said, hanging up. Getting the order together and packaged was something he could take care of inside of a minute, but it would take him a bit to get there once he got everything together. He no longer wondered why Honda did not particularly like having a delivery service; the old man had other purposes for the car, as evidenced by the fact that it was lent to Mitsurugi, and having a delivery service that would be more of a credit to the shop's reputation than not required the car to be there all the time.

When he returned from the delivery, annoyed that he had been a little late, though the customer had at least been polite enough not to say anything, there was a customer waiting, so he tended to her first before checking if there were any more orders he did not remember. _Nope, just the one that came in too early for me to realize I was forgetting something._

Tomoya could be as annoyed as he pleased, but he knew he was accomplishing nothing by throwing things around the shop except creating more work for himself. _I've got enough work to do already. That reminds me._ He looked through the journal, finding that he had been splitting his time between writing down his new thoughts every day and keeping up the historical record. It seemed he had prioritized the dreams and the circumstances surrounding them, and then started to fill in the gaps between those. There were some sections of his life that were missing, but at least he could still remember what happened during those times, mostly.

Writing what had happened since he woke up seemed like a waste, so he stuck to what he knew and what he could extrapolate had happened during the gap. Somehow it seemed likely that the reason for the skip, unless it was just his own amnesia, was that nothing deemed important had taken place, though he could not have said what was in charge of importance, or what qualia it used. Sighing, he knew he was going to have to see the Furukawas before he could figure out any more of what had happened. He had a vague notion that they were inclined to belief in the supernatural, or at least not diametrically opposed to it. _Now I wonder whether that was from this timeline, or the other one._

He served one more customer before the day ended, though at least the order had been pretty substantial. It was annoying, the way he could practically feel himself count the individual yen he would use to pay down the house as the customer's eyes panned across the different price points of the goods in the display. Even though each sale constituted an incredibly small percentage of the outstanding mortgage, there was nothing else, he could do. Even if he had a good feeling about another stock or something, there was no guarantee it would take off soon. According to the journal, he had been back to the financial adviser, who had basically said that the Apple stock had actually gone down a little, and recommended that he change to something else before his entire asset was gone. Thought his response apart from not selling his shares was not recorded in the journal, he liked to think he answered with more politeness than a wave of a hand.

Walking to the bakery, he saw a construction project going on in the middle of the road, but looked away. _People are going to notice if I stare at it like I've never seen it before. It's probably nothing that out of the ordinary anyway._

"Hi, Okazaki," Sanae said. He felt like he had spoken with her only recently, but he was almost certain that was wrong. Other things had come and passed, and he could not remember them. Not for the first time, he felt like he had been cheated out of part of his life. He was sure he had spent it eating what he could afford, staying within the rules with Nagisa, and working his ass off every other waking minute, but that was his life and he was happy with it.

"Hi, how are you?" he asked. "How is Nagisa?"

"Well, those two are the same," she said. "Nagisa is getting better. We don't know when she'll be okay to walk around again, but she's happy to have officially graduated from high school."

"She's graduated-" he started, seeing Akio come out of the back with a tray of bread.

"Don't run away with that. We're not even talking about her getting married yet."

"Okay, sir," he said. _I just have to put up with it a bit longer._

"Nagisa missed out on walking to graduate with her friends. She really wanted to at least attend the ceremony, but we all wanted her to get better as soon as possible."

"Well, we can try to do something like that once she's better," he said. "I know a teacher who still works there; I can't imagine he'd be unwilling to hand her a diploma-"

"We're not planning for the future until she's better," Akio insisted. "Every day with her is a gift."

"Is it okay if I visit her?" he asked. "I've got something to do if she's asleep, but I just want to-" He stopped himself for some reason.

"It should be okay this time," Sanae said. "She's missed you."

He tried to go up the stairs without gulping. Knocking, he remembered a time he was glad to have knocked, though he wondered what would have happened had he come in. _Probably nothing good in the long run._

"Come in," he heard the quietest possible voice say. Tomoya opened the door, closed it behind him, and sat next to her as she smiled gently. "I knew it was you," she said. "Mom... doesn't knock."

"Congratulations on getting out of school," he said.

"You... told me that, silly."

"I forgot. I think I skipped ahead a few weeks." Nagisa looked a little disheartened. "It's okay, though. I didn't miss anything, because I couldn't see you." She smiled.

"I told myself... that if I lived this time... I would tell you how I... feel about you," she managed. "It was a little lighter than last year, but... it was so much harder to wait."

"I'm sorry I couldn't wait with you," he said. "Have you been able to talk to your parents?"

"When I was at my worst... I was not supposed to talk. Before that, though... I told my mother you had amnesia sometimes."

"That's pretty clever. Thanks."

Nagisa said nothing in response. _She's probably wearing out her voice as it is. I didn't really have anything I wanted to do here except see that she was okay._ Somehow it felt bad that the last time he saw her, he had done something wrong recently, and now she was smiling at him. It felt like he had done nothing to deserve such nice treatment, but he reminded himself that her feelings about him did not constitute a perfect one to one representation of how he treated her. Perhaps it was not strictly fair, but it went the other way too.

"I should probably let you recover," he said, starting to get up.

"Please... just stay with me a little while..."

Tomoya lied on his back, on the floor. He thought about writing in his journal, but that seemed inappropriate. Instead he simply stared up at the ceiling with her. _Maybe we should join hands... no, she probably doesn't want to take hers out of the futon._

He could not have said how long he stayed like that, except that it ended when the Furukawas offered him supper, which he accepted gladly. It occurred to him that Mitsui was probably at the house making herself something, or maybe Mei was doing it at this point. _It's definitely not the other Sunohara._

"It seems like something is on your mind, Okazaki," Sanae said as he came down. "Do you have amnesia again?"

"Nagisa told you about that?" He looked away. "It's a bit embarrassing."

"Oh, well, you can suck it up," Akio said. "It's not like you haven't seen everyone else's dirty laundry." _I only have to put up with him for a bit longer._

"I suppose," he said. "I don't think of it as a disability, because I'm fine most of the time-" Sanae nodded.

"We understand. Nagisa told me that she noticed you forgot things that were important to you. Apparently, there was a friend you both had named Fuko, and you forgot about meeting her."

"I still think you're just a good for nothing," the old man said. _Well, no one asked you._

"I know it seems that way," he said. "I don't want to sound like I'm making an excuse, so I don't tell people." He thought for a moment as he ate the soba noodles in front of him. "Is there a lot of physical therapy in the spring? I've never really thought about it, but sitting still all day like that-"

"Yes, she has to eat to get her strength back up and we let her walk around the house a little at first. I know it sounds like a small thing-"

"It's probably a happy time, though," he ventured.

"It is. Whenever she gets past her worst day, we always celebrate." _It's probably the coldest day of winter._ "Every new day brings hope with it. One day, we hope she will be completely well again."

Tomoya only nodded. He did not want to voice any confidence that she would be released from her curse, because he worried it would seem like he was not prepared for the worst case, which was just dealing with it forever. _I think I've made my peace with that. I hope I have, since it might actually happen, as much as I want to hope it won't._

When supper was over, he went home. He did not want to argue with the old man, since it seemed like a waste of time, especially when he was so close to getting to marry Nagisa, so he would do as expected and not ruffle feathers; he had no problem forestalling his arguments until after the wedding and whatever else. It was still hard to imagine getting married, because he felt like he was still pretty young, but there was no reason for delay. He genuinely wanted to invite his girlfriend to live with him, to see her swallow the butterflies about going to her new home; to tell her he loved her every morning.

Though he had not of himself as a romantic, and he really still did not see himself that way, he was starting to enjoy the little things here and there. It was actually kind of fun, discovering that he liked having a girlfriend, though not as much as he liked her, of course. There were a few specific things he liked about her, and he could point to them whenever anyone asked, but more than anything else, it was intangible. He liked the way he felt around her, he liked the way she reacted to him, and he liked the man he felt like he was becoming.

As he opened the door to the house, he found Mitsui lying down on the floor. His first though was that she was hurt or something, so he rushed to her side without thinking about it, but she swatted his hands away as he asked if she were really all right. Her movements were slow and imprecise, and as she rolled over her face was red.

"Oh, you were drinking again-"

"I drink- every night- I was almost in bed-"

"Your bed is upstairs." _It's not that far. I think Nagisa would be okay with it if I-_

"Well, you're not- carrying me there," she said, seeming to interrupt his thoughts. "Apparently, I haven't learned my lesson yet-"

"What?"

"Isn't that what you said? If I won't listen to reason, then I can learn my lesson the hard way? Well I HAVEN'T LEArned it!"

Tomoya could be reasonably certain that last thought came out louder than intended.

"Well, I make mistakes sometimes," he said, picking her up.


	103. Sharing a Dream

Tomoya had insisted as he was leaving for work that Mitsui come with him. She was super hungover, and consequently nursing a massive headache. To hear her tell it, she did not usually come to work with such symptoms, and he told her that it was a bad time to start. _I've never heard of a grouchy jewelry store assistant._

"I don't see how being here will help at all," she muttered.

"Well, one of the other services we offer at the butchery is straightening out young people who make dumb decisions. It's vertical integration, you see, soon we'll corner the whole damn market." The girl blinked at him. "Read these books and don't bother the customers," he said, handing her the second and third volume of his finance books. _I have to check when those are due back. I probably had the sense to renew them this time, but I can't say when. It's not in the record of the last few days._

A customer came in as if on cue and he took the order as quickly as possible while remaining professional and courteous. The last thing he wanted was to make people think he pushed them through the sale process. He could feel Mitsui's eyes in his back as soon as the older lady walked out.

"Yes?"

"Why am I reading this?" she asked. "Is this my job now?"

"You always seemed so studious when you were in school."

"Yeah, that's because school is so easy," she said, reminding him of thoughts from a long time ago. Had he not been talking to her, he would have written down a sudden memory of thinking that school was easier than working and paying bills, and that was around when he started to think that at least electronic billing would make things easier, which was one of the first times he suspected he was getting notions from the future.

"Did you think it was always going to be that easy?" he asked.

"I thought that- something- I did would actually matter. It didn't, though, because I knew that if anyone ever did a background check on me, they would find out about Sasaki. If I tried to go on to higher learning, or did anything else I really wanted-" She exhaled loudly. "I hate him so much. He took my youth away because he thought I was a cute nerd girl."

"You can't say someone took your youth away when you're not even twenty-"

"Well, he did. I was a happy little girl once, then I was a teenager, and now I have to work for the rest of my life. You know what, you did this to me-"

"Did it to yourself," he muttered. "He gave me a picture of you naked because he felt like it. You should never have gotten involved with a guy like that. It's his fault for taking advantage of you, but you could have just not gone along with it."

Nothing was said for a moment, which worked out because there was a customer. Even as he took care of the customer's order, which was really just telling him about a delivery he wanted in the future, he kept thinking of the time he tried to see if Mitsui remembered Fuko. _That was during this timeline, right?_ He could not find it anywhere in his journal, as he knew from looking right after the satisfied customer left.

"Hey, Mitsui, did I ever ask you if you remembered a girl named Ibuki Fuko?"

"Who? I don't remember anyone named Ibuki except the art teacher, but her name changed to..."

"Yoshino, I know. She had a younger sister and I wanted to know if I ever asked you whether or not you knew her."

"Are you keeping a list of people you asked? I don't think you did, since I've never heard that name." _Well, that doesn't help that much. Most people did forget about her, though since she was able to rest, Nagisa and I remember what we learned about her while she was haunting the school._ His fingers curled a little as he rested on the heels of his hands against the display. _We don't remember it consciously, though. We have to make ourselves remember her, or we'll start to forget._

One of the things he did remember, and he hardly needed the journal, was how hard he tried not to think about the girl and what was actually up with her, because he knew that the closer he came to learning the reality of the situation, as her sister was, the less he would be able to perceive her existence. _Now that I know, though-_ _I've even seen her, it doesn't have the same effect._

"Thanks for telling me. Do you want to go see her after work?" he asked. "She's comatose in a hospital, so she won't be much for conversation-"

"I'll pass. I think I'll keep reading this." She sighed. "You know, I really did think that the harder I studied, the easier my life would be after that."

"I mean, that's true in some cases," he said. "My friend, Ryou, wants to be a nurse, so she studied really hard all through school, she's still studying now, and she's got a long, hard career ahead of her. My girlfriend, Nagisa studied pretty hard her first time through high school, and she would have passed, but her condition caught up with her and there was no way she could take the exams." He thought of a few more people. "Sakagami probably studied harder than an entire grade level, and she's going into politics, but she's definitely not going to be slacking when she gets there. I think Kotomi's life might be pretty straightforward, at least, she'll be a published author on her research at one point, and she might be able to retire off that before she's old and gray. Mitsurugi's probably about the same. He's not really a natural genius, so he had to work pretty hard to get where he is, and I'm pretty sure all he wants out of life is to coach kids in rugby when he's retired and has a couple of kids."

"You don't know anyone who made any mistakes?"

"I wouldn't say that about any of my friends. Sunohara and I made a ton of mistakes, but going to higher learning wasn't really for us in the first place. My friend Ao has a criminal record and his wife has to deal with that. I really hope they make it where they're going; they don't have any kind of backup plan."

There was another silence. _It probably wouldn't have worked out to take her to the hospital anyway. I'll call her employer and tell her she was helping me with something, whatever that's worth. It's probably not worth much, but it's better than showing up hungover._

They decided to go out for lunch, though Mitsui insisted on paying, since it was not a date, and he had to agree with that. He chose to walk downtown to the burger place from before, as it would not be too expensive and now that Sugisaka had transferred, no one would recognize them there. After they got their food they decided to eat there rather than go back with it, so they would not have to deal with the trash.

"Do you think it's fair that your friend's wife has to deal with his problems?"

"She signed up for it." He took another bite. "Really, I felt bad for her sometimes, but if they love each other, I hope they stick together. It'll be bad for both of them if they split up."

"Like it would have been bad for me if people found out about Sasaki?" she asked.

"You're in a small town in Japan," he responded. "I don't know if it's different in China or Korea, but everyone has to keep up appearances. My father spent about a decade as a drunk who was slowly going into debt, so the bank wouldn't have given me a loan. I say wouldn't because what happened was my friends took out a loan and transferred it to me."

They went back in silence. Tomoya knew they were both thinking about a lot and probably had a lot to say to each other, but nothing was voiced. _There's nothing I really want to say right now._ When they were nearly back to the shop, he told her the plan about saying she was helping him with something, some boring mortgage thing no one would think to question, and she went along with it without a second thought.

"I'll take it to keep my job. Is that why you're offering, though? So you can pay off your mortgage?"

"I mean, that's part of it. I can't pay it off if you get fired."

"That's why there's a brat with a futon in my room?"

"I'd prefer you didn't call her that."

"You make me want to move out sometimes. I can't decide what it is with you. It seemed like you didn't care about me." She had a hand on her forehead, though he could tell she was probably not nursing a literal headache. "I've thought for a while now that I'll just be an old maid in your happy little home."

He dwelled on that for a moment, though he tried not to, since there was a customer on the phone placing an order for the following day.

"Do you think guys aren't going to want anything to do with you because you had something to do with Sasaki?" he asked once he managed to get it all down and hang up. Tomoya read the order back to the person on the other end as a professional courtesy, not because he was less than certain he had everything right.

"I mean, yes. Most guys wouldn't want anything to do with me just because I'm not a virgin," she said.

"Well, that's taking it a little far. By my age most guys realize they don't have a lot of options in that regard." _Well, I guess Nagisa is a virgin, but I can't say I exactly know about my other friends at this point, not that I really want to know._ "I personally don't see it as that bad of a thing, but if you wanted to find a virgin guy, you'd probably have a hard time with that."

"Oh, like I would want a virgin guy," she said. "You're not a virgin, are you?"

"Why would you think that?" he asked, remembering there had been rumors about Kotomi and Sakagami. _There were probably rumors about Kyou, since we were actually dating, but rumors don't need that much of a basis._

"You don't seem like one. You see pretty comfortable around girls."

"Most of my friends are girls," he said.

"Well, that's another reason. One of my friends said she was pretty sure you were sleeping with them."

He barked a laugh, surprising himself a bit.

"What?"

"I've never cared that much about what people think about me. It just makes me wonder if that's better than people thinking I was gay or something. Well, they probably don't think that now at the very least, since Nagisa told people we were dating."

"You haven't slept with her? How long have you been dating?"

"It's been a good while. We're abiding by her parents' rules."

"How would they know?"

"She would tell them. She tells them everything." He set his tools down. "I thought about it a little while ago, or, I guess longer ago than that, and basically I don't mind the rules."

Mitsui seemed to think about what he had said until the day ended. There were a few more customers, which was good for his bottom line, and he was happy he could answer them that his boss was only out on vacation for a short time, if for no other reason than because it was nice to know where he was. _There was a moment I thought I had advanced really far into the future, and he had already left the shop for good. I would have missed whatever final training he had for me._

Thinking on it as he cleaned up the place, he supposed that managing it himself for a little while essentially constituted his final training. All that remained was an evaluation of his character and ability to manage the butchery full-time, and then he would be in charge of it. He walked the girl most of the way home after calling her workplace, getting the kind of response he had expected. It was unusual for an employee of one store to be borrowed by an employee of an unrelated business, even if they had the excuse of being housemates. _She might think we're going to commit something like credit fraud, where I get Mitsui to take out a loan for me just because she's not related to anyone with a bad credit history._

Walking to the hospital, he decided it was good he was going to visit Fuko by himself. He liked the idea of just talking casually next to her sleeping form, and that would feel weird with anyone else around. There was a small change that Ryu would visit her, since he claimed to have communicated with her, but that may have just been when he was in the hospital himself. _Well, I guess I can't blame him if he decided it was all a dream or something when they dismissed him._

He had to wait for a nurse to appear at the front desk, so he tried to think about what to do with Mitsui. _I can't just tie her to a chair or something so she stops drinking. What worked with my father? Did he just decide it was important to get out of debt? I mean, it is, so obviously that could be it, but I can't help but think there was more to it than that._

"Oh, sorry, have you been waiting long?" the male nurse said as he showed up. "I forgot it was my turn at the desk."

"I'm not in a hurry. Do I recognize you from somewhere?"

"You might have been that young man that reported, what was his name, Honda?"

"Yeah. You probably see a lot of people, so I really should be impressed you remember that far back."

"It's weird," the nurse said. "I can remember things from a good while ago, but not a few minutes ago. Are you here for Honda's medical report?"

"No, I don't believe I have any right to view that. I'm here to visit Ibuki Fuko." _He must have assumed I was related to the old man._

"Whoops," the man said. "Yeah, you're clear to visit her. There's no one else visiting her right now."

Tomoya wondered why there would be a maximum amount of visitors for a comatose patient, but he guessed there could be some kind of default maximum, or there could be some new patient who had taken the place of Ryu. _Some people have conditions that are heavily influenced by stress, and some people can't survive the common diseases people carry around without thinking about it._

He walked up to the room rather than taking the elevator because he knew they used the elevator for emergencies sometimes and it gave him a chance to think about things. There were a few things he wanted to tell Fuko. If she could still hear everything around her, she knew she was going to be an aunt in another few months. _Come to think of it, Yasui would have started to show at least. Maybe I should call them tomorrow and ask how they are._

When he arrived, he found her exactly as he had expected; she was lying perfectly still and she was alone. Though her sister was probably busy getting ready for the baby, though she probably did not feel her very best, she had probably not even decreased the frequency of her visits, and yet, the majority of the time, he expected, Fuko spent alone. If her eyes were open they would stare blankly at the ceiling until a kind soul closed them to keep from drying out.

"Hi, Fuko. It's been a while, I think. I can't remember exactly how long it's been, but it feels like it's been a while." He sat down next to the bed, suddenly feeling more tired than he had felt in a long time. Tomoya told the girl about his friend, about Mitsui, and about Nagisa, whom he felt he loved; at the very least he knew he would choose her over everyone else. It seemed better not to bog her down with talk of work, taxes, or mortgage, though he knew she was technically older than he was.

"Okazaki."

He looked up and saw her standing before him, the same as he had seen her before.

"How can I see you?"

"You're asleep." He thought for a moment and decided to just let her finish. "I... don't know who else there is. I know everyone who comes to see me loves me, but... they can't help me with this." She paused, taking a deep breath. "I think I love him," she said. "I think I love Ryu."


	104. Courtship Ritual Duties

When Tomoya went home that night, he tried to think of what Fuko could possibly see in Ryu, but he guessed that since he was a guy, he would probably not get it anyway. _Maybe he's turned his life around. Has he kept visiting her, though? He doesn't seem to have seen a lot of his mother lately. Maybe he moved out._

The only thing to do to get an idea of the situation was to go back the following day, or really the following night, so he could sleep longer, because he had woken up before the comatose girl could really tell him anything. _I woke up out of hunger more than anything else. I'm not eating myself full to the bursting, so I usually do feel hungry before meals._ As he reached the house he wolfed down some leftover rice before bed.

Thinking about all the carbs he was eating every day, he decided as he exercised that he had to go to the grocer again soon, though maybe there would be leftovers of whatever Mei made for supper. Though he had no desire to just let the high school girl take care of him, he was relatively sure part of the reason she was sent to live with her elder brother was to prepare meals, so he might as well take part in them. Meals were always a bit more efficient eaten together because a larger quantity of the same thing could be prepared and enjoyed by all.

Rising early the next morning, he caught the girl before she left for school.

"Hey, Mei, would you mind going to the grocer and picking up a few things after school?" he asked. "If you don't have the money, I've got some; it's not an issue."

"Of course!" she responded, brightening. _That's a surprise._ "I've wanted to make curry for weeks!"

"That's, uh, great," he said. "I have to get to work, so I'll just give you, say-" he started going through thousand yen notes in his wallet.

"Oh, don't worry about that now," she said. "I'll just get whatever I need and then bring the receipt home for you!"

"Right," he said. "Yeah, we could do that."

As he went to work he got to thinking that Mei probably did a lot of the cooking at home, and was accustomed to a greater variety than had really been practical under the current budget. _Well the food should be a little more every month, but at least her parents should be pretty happy about it._

There was no answering machine, so there was no message from Honda or anyone else, though he felt like he should have gotten used to that at some point. _What is it that's mixing me up? Was there one at the Furukawa house? I know my father had one._

He wondered how long he had lived with his father in the other timeline. It seemed pretty obvious he did not have Nagisa, so he did not have her as a reason to move out. Just as he was thinking about that, Ryu walked in, placing something on the display.

"What's this?" he asked, opening the envelope. "You know you can call in orders if you feel like it-"

"I don't like owing people things," he said. "I don't think I owe you much of anything, so I didn't give you much of anything." There was a few hundred yen in the small envelope. _Huh. You weren't kidding._

"Well, thank you. I hope you're happy with your new job."

"We talked about this. I'm not happy with it, not exactly, but it's rewarding work and I'm going to keep doing it." _Damn. That's right; I might have done something small for him during the skip._

"That's good. I wish you the best with it."

"I was also here to ask you about Fuko," he said. "She said she needed to know you were okay with it."

"You've been going back to visit her?"

"Yeah. The bed next to her is open and the hospital doesn't care if I sleep there because it's not in the emergency ward. I told that guy at the front desk that I could check myself in with a nosebleed if he'd rather I do that-"

"He's pretty lackadaisical, I know." _Well, he acts that way. Maybe appearing forgetful is just a way to look disarming._ "I have to admit I'm a bit confused by this development," he said, trying to be polite about it. "I'm not sure how you two got to liking each other."

"Well, I like her because she was really nice to me. I wasn't that nice to her when I first got to the hospital, but once I realized she was real, I started to get to know her." _How did she get to be nice? She's not insisting that starfish are the best animal to ever live?_

"Okay, what does she like about you?"

"I don't know that. She doesn't tell me." _That doesn't help, but it's about what I expected. It's less common for girls to say what they like about guys._ "Does it matter?"

"I think it does. The fact that she's asked me for help with this means it matters to her."

"Well, maybe you could go talk to her again," Ryu suggested. "Then you'll get it."

"I had planned to do that," he responded. "I only managed to dream in there for a moment before waking up. This time, I'm going to sleep there properly. Where are you living now?"

"I mean, I haven't found an apartment close to the site, so I'm still living in the apartment, but it's not like my mother's ever there."

"Huh." _She did have a pretty exhausting work schedule. I would imagine she's happy he managed to get a job._ From the sound of it, he was working in construction. "Well, that's okay. You'll find some place sooner or later, once you save up enough," he decided.

"Yeah, or she'll just move out," he said, rolling his eyes for some reason. As the teenager left, it did not seem he was being terribly ungrateful or disrespectful; there was some other variety of annoyance, which confused him. _There's no time to worry about that. I need to sort this out in the next few days._

There was a customer who came in right after Ryu, and the order to deliver after that. He ended up eating his lunch on the way back, though it was not far. It was convenient that he had Mei around to buy groceries and make food, and he decided it was worth the expense, if there was that much expense added, because his health was of paramount importance. _I can't be a butcher if I can't be in the shop every day. I can't afford to start feeling sluggish or whatever._

There was a police officer he did not recognize who came in for a kilo of pork cutlets, which was all well and good, but the man liked to stand around talking and smoking rather than being on his way. Though the police in Hikarizaka had a generally good reputation, an officer was probably the last person he wanted people to see standing around in the store, because it made the shop look like it was under investigation. People seemed to want to be as far as possible from anything under investigation.

There were a few more customers before the end of the day, but he hardly remembered them. Things like who they were and what they ordered did not generally stick out to him when he had something else on his mind. It was time for dinner when he returned, and Sunohara was there, apparently quite pleased his sister had gone all out.

"Did the critics like the movie?" Tomoya asked. "I didn't see any of the reviews myself."

"They're still doing test screenings; it's not out yet," he said. _Damn. That's why I can't find his payment anywhere on the bank statements; he hasn't paid me yet._

"Huh. I guess I didn't expect I would have noticed if it did come out," he said, distracting from the momentary disconnect.

"Oh, yeah, that's really funny Okazaki. Mei's going to see it, though-" He looked at her, finishing up the preparations for supper. "-right?"

"Umm... I might have to study for my finals,"

"Your finals next year?" Tomoya asked. "I don't know if it's going to come out that quickly," he joked.

The girl giggled, serving dinner right as Mitsui arrived. _She's back later than usual. I guess she could be working longer to make up for lost time._ They were having curry rice and a salad, which was a bit more economical than he had expected. _Her parents aren't rich or anything. If she's been doing this for a while, they probably showed her how to save money at the grocer._

Conversation around the table was lighthearted and friendly. It made him miss Ao and Yasui a bit, remembering he did not call them at work. _Well, it won't make a difference if I do that tomorrow. I'll write it down._

After supper he walked to the hospital, which took him a bit out of his way, but otherwise was not an issue. Visiting hours were about to end right as he showed up, and the nurse at the front waved him on his way. He did exercises in Fuko's room and wrote in the journal in the neighboring bed until he fell asleep.

Tomoya could not have said he was dreaming. It certainly did not seem like a normal dream; there was nothing different about where he was except he was sitting up on the bed all of a sudden, when he could have sworn he had been lying down. The girl looked at him from the side of her own.

"You've changed," she said. "My sister and her husband were already adults, so they haven't changed much."

"Have you seen yourself?" he asked. "You're a young woman." The girl shook her head.

"That's what Ryu says. I know I've probably grown, but I can't just see myself, okay?" _There's the Fuko I know._ She looked around furtively as if anyone would walk into the dream and see them. "Do I have boobs?" she asked.

"I mean, yeah, of course-"

"That must be why he likes me so much."

"He told me you were nice to him. Hard as that was to believe, I can't think of why you like him." The girl made a pouting face.

"Well, he's not like you. He's gentle with my feelings," she said. "I only started talking to him because I was bored, but I realized we had a few things in common."

"Don't tell me he's obsessed with sea cucumbers," Tomoya said. "I think I'd leave you to your fate."

"It's not that. We both want to see the ocean."

"You've never seen it before? It's not all that far away."

"I know that. I've just never seen it before. He told me he didn't know how, but he would take me there some day."

"Are you going to be able to dream that you're at the ocean just because you're physically there?" he asked.

"I don't know. I would like to find out." She seemed to have thought about it, but never said it. "Even if it doesn't work, I would like to try."

Tomoya tried to think about it practically, like getting the girl transferred to a hospital in Izu or some kind of specialist who happened to live on the coast, but it seemed unlikely her family would go for that. Though they were probably open to the idea that there was something weird going on with Fuko, but it was not as if they would just start basing their decisions on what a ghost said, or was supposed to have said. He remembered how much trouble it had been trying to get them to get married, though that was partly because of how badly he went about it.

"You don't wake up for a few years," he said, not knowing why he was saying it.

"How do you know that?"

"You're a sleep ghost. Are you in any position not to believe I don't know something about the future?" She put her hands on her hips. "I get these strange notions of the near future every so often. It's not helpful, most of the time, but I know that there are a few things that have to happen before you wake up."

"How do coma patients wake up?" she asked. "I've wanted to wake up ever since I realized I'm still alive." She pouted a little. "It's not fair."

"I don't know. I'm sure doctors have been asking patients how they managed to wake up for decades." He sighed. "I'm not a neurologist, but I'm pretty sure what we can't get past is the fact that you had an injury of the cerebral cortex. I can't advise you if that's the case. I can't think of anything that you could do in your sleep to wake up, so if we have to assume you wake up naturally, then it'll be a while."

What he managed to not tell her was that if her sister were remotely correct about how bad her condition was, she had a very low chance of waking up at all. _Yoshino-sensei's outlook was not motivated by pessimism. She probably knows more about caring for comatose patients than most of the people at the hospital._ One of the tasks she had mentioned was shifting the patient every few hours to prevent the formation of bed sores, which were hardly fatal, but bad for the integumentary system among other things. The patient also had to be cleaned, since human beings were basically waste processing machines, and not being cleaned often enough would result in an infection. Fuko's caloric intake had probably gone down a lot, almost as much as her exertion, but her body still burned energy just to keep her automatic systems running.

"How is your life, Okazaki?" she asked.

"You couldn't hear me before?"

"I want to hear more." _Right. I'm her only connection to the outside world, apart from Ryu. She doesn't care if I repeat myself every so often._

He told her about Nagisa, who still remembered her, possibly since she stopped manifesting as a ghost at the school. It seemed like it would make things weird if he told her about advancing through time, though simultaneously he thought she might just assume he was forgetful. _I might as well be, since the effect for everyone else is the same. Apparently I've been doing things during the skips. Nothing major, I don't think, just sort of going about my life..._

"How do you feel about her?" Fuko asked.

"I mean, I feel like I love her," he said. "I know that's something a lot of people say, but, well, that's how I feel. I haven't said anything about my plans to her parents because she's still lying in bed right now, but I intend to marry her." Even as he said it something felt weird. He knew he wanted to marry her and there could not be that much complication to it, else fewer people would be able to figure it out, but he felt like he was nowhere near ready, as if that was an adult concept that was mostly beyond him, though he had basically managed everything else.

"Can I come to your wedding?"

"If we have it in this hospital for some reason," he said, deciding there was no way he was going to delay it until she woke up.

"I was talking about going there in spirit," she said. _Very funny._ "I know I'm supposed to rest-"

"Yes, you're supposed to rest so that your brain can repair itself. I don't think doing something like this is bad, but you nearly killed yourself the last time you walked around with us. Your sister told me that your health was rapidly deteriorating, and the doctors were saying you were going to die if you didn't stabilize-"

"Wait-" She was sitting next to him all of a sudden. "Was all of that my fault?"

"I mean, you were only playing with your own life-"

"Kouko was so scared!" she cried, supporting herself on him. "She thought I was going to die-"

"You didn't understand your condition," he excused. "You couldn't have known you were putting stress on your own brain."

"I could have, if I thought about it," she said, sniffling a little. There were tears forming. "I mean, I didn't know I was alive-"

"Then why did you try to get me to kill you?" Tomoya asked. He had not hoped to make her guilty, but it seemed he succeeded all the same.

"I... I..." She buried her face into his shoulder from the side. "I don't know how much I knew... and how much where I just had a feeling..." She breathed again, her eyes sparkling. "I knew I wanted my sister to be happy, though."

"I know you did."

"I felt that if I got rid of myself, I would be helping her. I would die so that she could live."

"I don't know how I feel about that," Tomoya said after a moment. "I hope Ryu knows you're like this sometimes, otherwise it's going to be quite the surprise."

He could not tell if the choking sound Fuko made was laughter or crying.


	105. Reasons for Working

Tomoya left the hospital without looking back. It was not as if he did not feel contemplative, but he seemed to think better when he could allow himself to pay less attention to his immediate surroundings, and for that he needed his eyes forward. _I guess that's where I get my 'spaced out' look._

It was going to be time to be at work in only a moment, though it occurred to him that he had not told anyone at the house that he was spending the night elsewhere, so Mei might be wondering where he was in the morning. _I still need to see if I got through to Mitsui. That'll be this evening or something._

At the shop he realized he did not know any phone number with which he might reach the nascent Yasui family, though he could ask either of the Haradas if they came in whether or not they had heard anything. _I should have given them the shop phone number when they left. Well, I don't know if Honda would have picked up; that would have been weird._ It occurred to him that they might not even have a phone, but there had to be some way for the in-laws to reach them, and it seemed inconvenient for either of them to take a train there and back. _At this point Yasui has probably told them that she's pregnant. She probably won't have to say when it was, but it'll be pointless to try to conceal it for long. Sooner or later they will know the birth date of the child, and they'll figure it out from there._

There was a customer with a crying baby, and he was actually kind of surprised she was the first when he thought about it. _Well, I don't know that. Maybe someone came in during one of the jumps._ She apologized profusely on behalf of her son, as many times as he said it was quite alright. _Babies aren't really moral agents. You can't reason with them, so it doesn't make sense to credit them or blame them for anything._

"A kilo of ground chicken, then," he said, getting the order in its packaging when she requested something she could feed the kid. It looked like she was new to the whole children thing, though she had to be at least in her late twenties. _I guess she didn't spend as long thinking about it as Yoshino-sensei. Maybe she's been working a job this whole time._ She did not pay in exact change, but he let her go rather than keep her in the shop over a few yen.

Tomoya found himself wondering how the Yoshino family was doing, but he found he also did not know their number. _Maybe they'll order something and I'll have an excuse to write it down in the address book._ He had no particular reason for contacting them; perhaps he was only feeling flighty since the recent skip might have left him behind on something. _Maybe their child has already been born. Ah, well, they would not have had any reason to invite me to that._

He hoped that he had not been an enormous pain as a baby, but the only one who would know anything about that was his father. _When I was thinking of myself as a dependent, rather than a working adult, I was naturally less sympathetic to his struggles. Now that I'm managing my own expenses, I couldn't imagine having a kid._

It was not as if he disliked children or the idea of having one, but there was no way he could afford it, and if he did have a kid, he would have to have come up with some way of giving it a life beyond just being fed for eighteen years. He had talked with Nagisa about how people were responsible for their children, and if they only had children they could afford, the world would be a better place. Perhaps it would not be a perfect place, but it would be better.

There were a few customers before lunch, which he had not brought with him, having left that morning from the hospital rather than the house. _It would be a little faster to go buy something, but there's almost certainly food in the fridge and there shouldn't be anyone home right now._ Walking back to the house, he found he was correct about there being no one in the house, but the fridge had more alcohol than food. _This can't all be Sunohara's. I don't think he drinks, really._ Grabbing some rice, he had a thought to just throw it all out or something, but he doubted that would do any good, and it would be way over the amount of intervening he normally wanted to do when he tried to help people. Thinking of how Mitsui had told him that he initially tried to just let the consequences of her own actions show her how drinking too much was a bad idea, he felt he understood that perspective to an extent.

_I've never wanted to just take over people's lives and just make changes for them. Even if I wanted to do that, though, it wouldn't really fix anything. The only way people actually start getting past their problems is if they do it themselves._

He went back to the shop to find the phone ringing, which he barely picked up in time, thankful that he had not decided to hang around the house eating.

"Is this Okazaki? Is Honda going to be back soon?" It sounded like an older man. _He could be a business contact._

"I think he is, but I can't swear to exactly when he'll be back. Is this a business call?"

"Oh, no, I'm an old friend and I was just wondering how he was doing."

"Well, he's on vacation now, so probably less stressed, but still thinking about all the work he could be getting done," he joked, to the amusement of the caller. "When he gets back, I'll tell him you called, but I can't guarantee he'll get back to you before going through all the business calls."

The old friend of Honda apparently found this even funnier.

"We had so many jokes about his work ethic in those days. He told me he was going to have his own place one day and he did." There was a pause. "I never really had any doubt of that. He was always the kind of guy who was going to live his dreams."

"You guys started with nothing?"

"Yeah. He ended up with a business and I ended up with a family and a whole laundry list of financial problems."

"Well, you'll always have each other," Tomoya observed. "May I have your number so he can call you back?"

As he took down the number, he felt like his boss had probably been substantially less fortunate as a young man, and it almost made him feel bad. He thought about what he would have done if Mitsurugi had not proposed that he take the job meant for him, and it probably would have involved working for whatever wage he could get, quite possibly taking him out of town, though he no longer believed that would put him out of the way of problems to solve. Even with the same commitment and work ethic, it seemed doubtful anything like an opportunity to gain management experience would have opened up. _Well, there's a chance I wouldn't have to personally fight several members of a dangerous gang._

There were a few one-off customers before the regular housewives came in, and he was grateful for their patronage. It occurred to him that he was trying to buy a house at a younger age than most men, and it was a growing trend even in smaller cities and towns to live in apartments forever. He estimated that most of the housewives who came in could more accurately be called apartmentwives, but he was not one to make that sort of joke. In most places in the Central and Eastern regions of Japan, owning a piece of property was more and more a status symbol, a point of pride.

When his last few customers were gone, he went back to the house, not having seen Ryu anywhere. If he had, he still did not know whether or not he would 'give his blessing' for the teenager to date Fuko, though he guessed they were already at it. _I don't know what more he wants. I can't imagine he wants to sleep with her while she's in a coma. He definitely can't marry her, since he can't get her to sign any forms._

_Maybe his intentions really are good._

When he thought about what Ryu could gain from his approval, it was really just the girl feeling better about the relationship, though he did not know why she chose him for that position, except for the fact that he had been able to communicate with her, and she probably saw him as an upperclassman, even though she had been born first. _She would probably be asking anyone else if she could talk to anyone else. It's a damn wonder no one had ever slept in the same room with her until Ryu got there._

At the house, he found Sunohara drinking some of the alcohol Mitsui had in the fridge. They made no attempt to greet each other, which made him think something had happened.

"I don't think that's technically yours," he said. "I know what we said about sharing what's in the fridge so it doesn't go bad, but I think the wine had another century or so-"

"Ah, shut up, Okazaki," his friend said, looking down.

"Did you get cut from the film?"

"All of my scenes did. I appeared in three different scenes and they all got cut-"

"That's pretty rotten luck. They're still going to pay you, right?"

"Yeah, that was what we agreed, but now no one's ever going to see me."

"Was anyone going to see you before?" he asked. "I mean, I don't remember looking at the extras very much." He thought about it for a moment. "You know, when you announced you were going to come here, I didn't know you were going to do a film. There are a lot of different ways of acting and I honestly thought that you might have been in a commercial or something. Being an extra in a feature film is probably better because you're not being branded."

"Yeah, yeah, just look on the bright side."

Mitsui came in and asked what was going on, her eyes darting to the alcohol and then to each of them. It did not take long to apprise her of the situation. Surprisingly, though, she seemed to take Sunohara's side.

"I would agree, that is pretty depressing," she said. "Okazaki doesn't get it; he doesn't mind working for a wage and nothing else."

"I mean, I like what I do," he clarified. "There's a certain skill it takes to butcher things."

"Well, what if you got paid the same but you didn't get to demonstrate your skill?" Mitsui asked. "What if you had to be in the back the whole time?" _Huh. I guess that could be one thing you don't really like about your job. You're always on display, but you don't see what you do as a skill._

"I guess I wouldn't like it that much." He thought for a moment. "Sorry, I'm just used to trying to help, and Sunohara's problems have mostly been his own fault. I kind of came at it from that approach."

"I get it," his friend said. "Oh, should I not be drinking this?" he asked, turning to their housemate as she set her purse down. "I thought that there was so much in there, you wouldn't miss it."

"I guess it's fine. Just don't drink it too much. I bought a lot of it because I got a good deal on it, and I have to keep it at the proper temperature to age it."

"Oh, I didn't know you knew that much about it," Sunohara said. _I didn't either._ "My parents run a bar back home. They finally got it from the owner after all these years."

"That's interesting," Mitsui said. "Perhaps we could go there and meet them sometime."

Mei came downstairs like she was going to start on dinner. _She's probably just been up there doing her homework or something. It's not like she's got anything else to do._ He felt a little bad for the girl not getting to live with other girls her age in a dormitory, but her parents probably thought it was a windfall that they could keep her out of a place where high school guys knew they could reliably find any number of girls. He had been a high school guy himself not too long ago, but it did not feel that way, even at the time. _Must be because of the memories._

The three of them all at least sort of helped Mei as she prepared dinner, which was basically a pork cutlet sandwich and a salad. _That explains where her brother picks up his taste for them._ She apologized for not making something more elaborate, but they all said it was fine.

"Do you... not have a lot of money, Okazaki?" she asked. The other two mostly qualified adults at the table looked away.

"Houses are really expensive," he said. "Plus, your brother's been a real leech so far."

"Youhei-" she scolded. "Do they still need you on the set or is there something else you could be doing?"

"They keep telling me they need me on the set; I signed a contract." He took a bite, an annoyed expression forming. "Besides, I can't just get another job whenever I want."

"Fine, then I'll do something," Mei decided.

"You're already paying your own part," Tomoya said. "Besides, you're in school. There aren't many jobs you can do at your age, and you need to focus on graduating. Didn't you want to go to college or something?"

"I can work at a laundromat. Those run all night,"

"You can't if you want to sleep. You really can't afford to develop bad sleeping habits if you want to do well in school. Your brother and I are experts in doing the exact opposite, so you could ask Mitsui if-"

"You shouldn't waste this time in your life just to prove a point to your brother," Mitsui said. "He's right, anyway. It is hard to get a job, especially when you already have one. You really should focus on what you have in front of you."

Tomoya agreed, though he thought her argument was predicated on the perception that her life had gone downhill since graduating, which was not really the case. It had gone downhill since Sasaki told him that he had slept with her and provided some amount of evidence to that effect, which was about where the consequence of her actions started catching up to her. _He made no secret about how he seduced girls. He acted like a monster, and some girls were attracted to that._

It seemed more polite, however, not to bring this up. If Mei ever asked how Mitsui ended up selling jewelry after doing well in school, they would just have to tell her she liked the work. Once supper ended and the opportunity was afforded, he intended to ask her what about it she did not like, though he had a guess. As soon as they finished cleaning up, Sunohara seemed inclined to go on a walk with his sister, which was either a fortunate coincidence or planned out, and knowing his friend it was probably the former.

"I know you're going to tell me I'm lucky to even have a job."

"I wasn't going to say that." He thought for a moment. "We might have been lucky to get jobs, but it takes work to keep them. If everyone employed just lazed around after getting the job, there would be a lot more jobs on the market."

"I know it takes work," she said. "It just doesn't take any skill." She rested her temples on her fingers. "It's like a maid cafe, but the pay is better and I don't wear a uniform. I just have to act cute with all the customers who come in. I could have dropped out of high school and I would have been just fine at the job."

"Would you rather work at a maid cafe?"

"Honestly, sometimes I would, because at least I would have to employ actual skills. My supervisor was doing this job for ten years before she was moved to her current position. I guess she picked up knowledge of the trade as she went, but the real reason they moved her was because she turned twenty seven and her looks were starting to fade." She sighed into her hands. "If I keep doing this, sooner or later, the same will happen to me."

Tomoya wanted to tell her she would be aging even if she were a lawyer, but he decided against it.

"Well, time is something that passes no matter what. My mother and father passed about eight years together before she died, and my father doesn't regret that at all." He thought about how he want to put it as he got to his feet. "The only way to lose time is not using it."


	106. Good News and Bad News

The following day, Tomoya could not find his investing books where he had left them, though he supposed Mitsui could have borrowed them. _As long as they're not out past the due date it should be fine._ Even if Miyazawa liked him, he doubted she would renew the book without seeing it as a matter of principle. He saw Yoshino on his way to work, though he was stopping the service truck to change out the tire.

"Can I help you with that?" he asked.

"You seem to be in need of help yourself, my friend," the electrician said as he handed him a tire iron. It seemed a simple enough principle to turn the other jack. _There must be some company policy about how you have to lift a truck with two jacks every time you have a flat you need to change._ "What occupies your waking mind?"

"I've got a friend who hates her job. Thinks she's wasting her life. It's not my only problem, I guess, but it is on my mind."

"I miss being a musician sometimes, truly," Yoshino said. _Really?_ "I never mind my work, though. I take pride in it today, but in the days when I had only begun, there was only one thing keeping me in it."

"What's that?"

"Love, Okazaki. There was a woman who cared about me when I had nothing. I had fallen from my place in the sky, and I've been grateful ever since that the manager of this fine company has given me an opportunity to repay her, to every day create a more earnest expression of love than I ever have in song." He paused, getting another tire out of the back. "There are times he wishes I would say it another way, however."

"Yeah, I can see how that might happen." _I probably shouldn't have said that._ "How's the baby?"

"He's a delight, truly," Yoshino said. "He reminds me of how dependent we all are on each other. When he detects the slightest discomfort, he calls for us. One of these days I'm going to have to teach him to sing."

"Your wife's going to love that," Tomoya said.

"I know she will. She's expressed that she wants nothing more than to see me act as a father, though she knows I am not destined to be a typical one." This time he only smiled rather than commenting. "I agree with her that the world needs more than just the typical."

"Maybe it does," he said. "I'll see you around, Yoshino."

He went to work and found that Honda had not decided to make a habit out of appearing when he decided to help a friend with something and ended up being a few minutes late to open the shop, though there was a customer there. Going ahead and apologizing, the older lady said she had all the time in the world and no one needed to rush over her. Though he had a personal disagreement with that, he was not going to tell her not to be patient, especially if that got in the way of doing his job to the best of his ability.

"What would you like today?" he asked, trying to keep from agonizing over it.

"I would like a cut of beef; that will be a good break from fish." He nodded; he ate a lot of fish, but some people cared for it more than others. _What I can't figure out how to do is pick out the best fish from the market._ It seemed to be a normal thing to learn as a part of growing up, but somehow he had skipped it.

He processed the order for the older lady and sent her on her way. Though his journal left out the specifics of what he had done at work during the gap, it seemed like he was making more money than he had the last time Honda was out, though it was possible that was a coincidence. It seemed too early to come up with an explanation that entailed customers having more confidence in him. _Maybe I should give the impression that I'm older than I actually am._

Tomoya decided he would visit his father after closing time. Whatever the old man had done in an effort to get people to take him more seriously at his job had worked, considering he still had it despite being a recovering alcoholic. _Even if he made his work valuable, no one is really irreplaceable. The boss could have found someone who did the job as well as he did without causing the company to lose face._

After a few people who looked to be from downtown came in, he had a simple lunch until the phone rang, interrupting him. It was Yasui's voice. _She could be using a payphone or something._

"Okazaki? May I speak to Okazaki?"

"I'm actually acting as manager until the real manager comes back, so I'm answering the phone." _Come to think of it, I already did most of the phone-answering._ "I'm going to go ahead and guess this isn't a business call."

"No. Do you want me to start with the good news?"

"Go ahead."

"My parents sent us a last check before cutting us off," she said.

"Oh, well, I think I can guess the bad news."

"No, the bad news is that I kind of- well, there's this man who goes to my classes and he's been really nice to me, and I didn't want to turn down any of his gifts, because we didn't have a lot, and now Ao is mad at me." Tomoya did not know quite how to respond, but saying nothing seemed worse somehow.

"Does he think you're into him or something?"

"You're a man. You know why he would be giving me gifts. It felt bad, kind of going both ways and acting like I didn't think anything was going on, but when my parents cut us off, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep saying things were from them."

"That wasn't why your parents cut you off?"

"No, they cut us off because I admitted I was already pregnant."

"That couldn't wait until the kid came out?" There was no immediate response. "I'm sorry, I don't really understand your situation. I just thought you were going to put off telling them as long as possible."

"I want them to forgive me as soon as possible."

"I mean, maybe you could throw it back on Ao. There's not a lot they can do about the fact that you two are married-"

"What do you mean?" she asked, apparently interested and apparently not having thought about it before.

"Well, I know this probably isn't something you want to discuss with them, but you could say you told him that you weren't taking any pills, but he wanted to do it anyway. I mean, don't say he forced you or anything; maybe you thought he was going to... you know, withdraw-"

She sighed audibly.

"I think I'll do that," she said. "I don't have any other ideas. If my parents are... more open to helping us out, maybe he'll forgive me..." Tomoya wondered for a second why they needed the assistance so much, but he remembered they were going to have a baby soon and there were a lot of costs associated with starting from nothing in a new city, like a security deposit for the apartment, starting fees with utilities, and taxes. Ao's new job was going to cover most expenses, but even with that-

"That's not why he's mad at you."

"I know, but if I just-"

"Did he tell you to quit your classes and get a job?"

"No."

"Well, that's what he would do if he thought you were causing too many financial problems." He took a breath. "I've talked with him a lot. He doesn't see you as a business partner. He sees you as his wife. It doesn't really matter to him if you can't shake your parents down for assistance. I think the problem is the other guy. Is he giving you things you need?"

"I would just bring things up like moving into a new apartment and needing a new cutting board or bath set and he gave it to me. He never gave me cash, of course."

Tomoya could tell that Yasui was trying to speak efficiently; there was not an infinite amount of time to be had on a payphone; eventually it would start beeping or something and she would need to insert another hundred yen. _She must be getting to classes by train or something._

"Look, just tell the guy you're not interested, and he'll probably stop sending you gifts. If Ao calls me, I can tell him we had this talk, and he'll be more likely to believe you."

"He can't really call; he took extra hours at work... I'm sorry, Okazaki. I'll talk to you later." She hung up before he could say anything, which was well enough since he had a customer, a man in a business suit.

"Did the call not go well?" he asked.

"Someone's having a bad day. I try to be understanding of that." He realized he was quoting the director of the third years from high school. _If my memory is remotely correct at this point, he busted my ass for breaking rules at least once a month._

"I've had a few bad days myself," the customer said. He looked young enough, but there was this sense of responsibility and seriousness that he usually only saw with older adults.

"Well, you've come to the right place. It's basically my job to make everyone's day a bit better," he said without a trace of sarcasm or insincerity.

"That's great, I'll have a couple of chicken breasts," the man said, smiling a little. "Every so often I think to myself I'd love to have a job like yours. I know it's not easy; but at least you can sleep at night."

Work related problems had kept him up at night in the past, but he highly doubted there was any other butchery in the world that decided to deal with gangs by literally fighting them, so it was a reasonable assumption. He only smiled back.

"Well, it has its downsides, but I don't think I would trade it for anything. I probably couldn't do any job that paid any more than this one." He handed the customer his packaged order after he paid based on the weight and the man left without another word. _Maybe Mitsurugi is going to turn out a little like him. I haven't talked to him in ages, unless I just forgot._

He had a call from the jewelry store basically thanking him for helping Mitsui get over her hangover.

"I'll be honest, I hadn't intended for you to put that one together," he said.

"I saw her come in with headaches for the past few days before that," the supervisor said. She and Tomoya had only briefly spoken in the past; he did not think he had seen her out of the context of buying Nagisa a pendant. _I should visit her soon._

"Oh, so you figured she had a problem, and when she missed a day, it had gotten to the point where she couldn't do the job?"

"Well, initially, I asked her if she had a boyfriend and was pregnant, but she just laughed. It seemed uncharacteristic of her. She was always so professional." _Huh. I guess pregnant women get headaches sometimes._ "Anyway, she would have started to show by now if that had been it."

"Yeah, I guess so." _I'd start looking around for a boyfriend before I waited to see a bump. I guess there could be one and not the other, though._ "Please don't get rid of her over a bit of drinking," he requested. "It's a selfish thing for me to ask, but..." He trailed off.

"Mitsui is a generally good employee. She has the kind of professionalism she needs to do her job, even if she has a headache some mornings. As an adult, she can be expected to manage her drinking habits."

"Okay; that was what I was hoping you would say." _It means she hasn't found out that her employee has been drunk enough to pass out._ "Take care," he said before she reciprocated and hung up. _Today's starting to seem like the day of difficult phone calls. Maybe my father will call too._

Realizing he did not have anything to eat for lunch, he decided to walk over to the bakery. It was not that expensive and he was pretty sure some of his housemates had gotten into the habit of taking leftovers with them. _We'll either have to make larger quantities at supper, or start to feel out a fair budget for everyone._ He rolled his eyes, thinking of Sunohara. _Yeah, it'll probably be the first one._

"Good day, sir," he said as he entered the bakery.

"You here to buy something?" Akio asked. His tone was not exactly rude, but it was pretty defensive.

"Yeah, what's recommended?"

"How about something lovely Sanae made. If you eat it, I won't even charge you."

"That sounds like a good deal," he said, remembering a couple times where the two of them had seen eye to eye. "I can't hear what it is ahead of time?"

The rolls were in front of him. On the outside, there was nothing terribly wacky about them except they were a shade of light blue with a pair of edible seeds on each of them. _What is that, fennel? Poppy seed?_ Probably against his better judgement, he went ahead and put one in his mouth. It was overly sweet and had the taste of some sort of vegetable, but he did not have the immediate need to spit it out.

"Now are you going to tell me what they have in them?"

"Apparently it's blended beetroot and a whole lot of sugar. I told her last night that people made beetroot deserts, sometimes- I watch a few cooking shows- but beetroot was not, in itself, sweet, so..." He cocked his head. "It's edible?"

"Yeah, I mean, it could do with less sugar, but it's like a decent pastry. As it is I can't see it being sold as either a treat or, I don't know, a health-conscious treat, but slim it down and try it again." He thought for a moment. "Does your wife try the things she makes?"

"She does, but she's kind of stuck in her head about it. It seems like she either thinks she's really good or really bad, nowhere in between."

"Okay, well, tell her these are kind of good, but could be improved."

As he left, since he was probably pushing it on his lunch break, it occurred to him that even if Sanae had not improved at all, even if she made totally random pastries every time, sooner or later she would hit something decent. The phone was ringing when he returned, and fortunately this time it was an order rather than a personal call, and apparently the customer wanted it as soon as possible.

"All right; all right; I'll get you the roast in- you're over by the edge of the shopping center; that shouldn't take more than ten minutes." He hung up rather than waiting for a confirmation and got a tenderloin out of the locker, figuring it would last longer on the road than anything in the display, most of which was cut finely anyway. His estimation of the time it would take actually turned out to be high-balled, since he had not considered the possibility of going through the Itou garden. _Ah, once a delinquent-_

Arriving at the door, he adopted a more professional expression.

"Oh, thank you." It was a housewife answering the door. "My husband's boss is coming over and I'd burned the other." _Damn. Is this some kind of joke Honda is pulling on me somehow?_

"No problem; I just need you to sign here." _If she tells me she's not allowed to sign things without him around, I'm leaving._

When he returned to the butchery, there were not many more customers before the end of the day, so he went ahead and wrote in his journal before closing up and going to visit his father. Tomoya was trying to keep to the same standard of detail he had in past entries, since it had served him well in filling in the gaps, though there were a few things from high school he could not remember at all. _It felt like an age between the time school was supposed to be ending and when it actually ended._

If he had hoped visiting where he had lived all through middle and high school would jog his memories, his hope had been misplaced, but it would be nice to see the old man anyway, since he had not seen him in a while. All of a sudden he had a thought that he could be injured like Honda had been, lying on the ground unable to reach the phone, or worse, he could have already had the heart attack the very thought of which scared his son so much. Tomoya threw open the door to find his father sitting next to Oishi, who seemed to have set the table for dinner.

"Oh, my son has come to visit. You know Tomoya, he was the butcher's assistant."


	107. Returning

Tomoya was kicking himself for having not seen it coming, though, as always, he had been thinking about things he judged to be more important at the time. WAs his father actually dating Oishi? Why? Why did she want to date his father?

"You look a little confused, Okazaki," the older lady said. "I thought we told you we were getting along."

"I'm sure you did," he said. "I've just got a lot on my mind right now."

"I'm Okazaki too, you know," his father said, putting his arm around his guest. "You can call him Tomoya here."

"Oh, but is that okay?" she asked, looking accommodating. He had never seen the old lady as happy as he was seeing her.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so." He sat down across from them, since they were clearly inviting him to stay for dinner. Oishi was going on about how she always made too much, being used to having Ryu around and all. The boy was probably never going back to school, but he seemed quite content with his job in construction. He had learned all sorts of skills and met interesting people. _Maybe it is his kind of job. Maybe part of what he liked about being in a gang was hanging out with a bunch of guys he thought were cool or something._

They were eating takoyaki with miso; it was entirely possible that the sky would fall if miso were not served with every meal, according to the lady of the house, and her new love interest was all too happy to indulge her superstition. Under normal circumstances, he doubted he could even stand to watch something that cutesy, but he guessed he was hungry and seeing the two old people getting along was just such a nice sight he could not help but smile a little.

When supper was over, he decided his worries from when he opened the door mostly just amounted to confusion, and once he understood what was going on, there was nothing concerning about it. He went back to the house, finding his housemates sitting around talking. Apparently Mei felt better about criticizing her elder brother now that he was starting to make something of himself. _That kind of makes sense. She didn't want him to get too discouraged before he started making steps in the right direction._

He figured his father's financial worries were over; whether the older lady kept working or not, she was definitely getting rid of the old apartment, and she would probably put herself in charge of managing expenses. If they were going to get married, that would help with taxes, he thought, but there was a chance they would not go ahead with that just yet. They were not exactly young, so it was not like they were worried about making a mistake, but getting married quickly just had a bad look to it. Tomoya was hesitant to write off his previous concerns about the old man dying of a heart attack, because he had not told Oishi about the risk factors, but that could come later.

"Hey, Sunohara," he said, getting a thought. "Do you ever think about being a commercial actor? You might be good at it."

"Well, there have been offers for that sort of thing, but it's just not what I want to be. I don't think I would be able to respect myself."

"Has that been an issue in the past?" he asked, smiling a bit. His friend only scowled.

"Very funny. For your information, I always respected myself."

"Did you respect everyone in the world?"

"No. You and I both know we didn't respect our teachers. They told us every other day."

"Yeah, I guess we didn't." It would be pretty hard to argue that they respected their teachers while showing up late every day. "Why did you respect yourself, but not them?" He had tried to think of a way of phrasing the question that would not be as derogatory, but from time to time, some kind of deeply critical statement was the logical conclusion anyway. _I also know he can take it._

Surprising him, however, Sunohara kind of slumped forward. He was ashamed, more so than Tomoya had ever seen him. _Is this just what he deserves to experience? I basically went through this myself, but... if you do something wrong you're getting off easy if the worst you can say happened to you is that you feel bad. If you do something stupid you're getting off easy if you just feel stupid._

"I guess all I respected was acting cool. The teachers never acted cool. That was all I ever did."

"I've basically gone through this myself. I didn't really appreciate the director of the third-years until the rumors about Sakagami and me started coming out, so he extended a hand and asked me about it. We met in his office; now that I think about it I could have looked around the room to get an idea of all the actual work he was putting off just to take the time to respectfully steer me away from a much better student." He shook his head. "He could've just kicked me out, thought maybe it would've looked like I did something to her."

"What did he tell you?"

"He said that every so often, a student who's not so concerned about academic or financial success comes along, and he tries to be understanding of that. Somehow his words have just stuck with me the whole time. I think he said that if I had been born in the Edo period, I could have been a wandering poet, and I've even thought about doing something like that, but now the rent is too high and people just expect to never be too hot or cold. The minimum amount of concern you can have and still live a normal life is just a lot less manageable now."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"It's partially because our idea of a normal life is really different from what it was. The average person is probably living better than a shogun at the height of the Tokugawa period, though a lot of that depends on what you might want out of life."

"I mean, I am. They never had comics or instant ramen," Sunohara said.

"They had plenty of mistresses, though."

"Ha ha, very funny, Okazaki. Just because I've never had a girlfriend doesn't mean I won't get one."

"You could always go back to Mitsurugi."

"How am I supposed to go back to him now that he knows I'm a-" He cut himself off, thinking as if someone had paused him. "-wait, did he know I was a guy?"

"No, but he had to deal with the fact that he never realized it. I won't get into it because he was a good friend, but he didn't really appreciate the way people treated him once it came out that you were a guy. I honestly don't have a clue how many people knew. Sometimes it seemed like this huge open secret and then sometimes it seemed like people genuinely had no idea."

"Did you tell Sakagami?"

"Yeah, but basically we didn't want to use it against you because you told me in confidence and she didn't want to win by embarrassing her opponent. She really didn't even want to win by being pretty or beating you in a game of shogi."

"Wait, why? Wasn't her whole dream important to her?"

"I mean, it was, which was why she took the job after you won and gave it up, but she would have liked to win legitimately."

"Are you saying I didn't win legitimately?"

"I'm not saying you cheated. If anything, the teachers were cheating. There was no way the campaign would have gone on that long unless they knew you were ahead. I'm pretty sure they were trying to let it drag on into exam season so students would remember what was most important, but what happened was the serious students who would have voted for Sakagami were too busy studying." He sighed. "I really can't blame you for running, or for winning; it's the students' fault that you won, and if you had a good chance of winning, it would have been cowardly to do something to keep you from running."

There was nothing more to say for the moment. He wondered if Sunohara was just thinking on his actions or how he felt differently, but there was no sense in asking. Unable to find the book on investing, he did his exercises and wrote in the journal before going to bed, since he had been reminded a lot of the past, talking to his old friend again.

In the morning he made sure to pick up some leftovers before he went out, finding that his housemates had made soup, which was probably good, but hard to transport and not the kind of thing he wanted to eat cold. _If this was some kind of trick, it's a clever one._ He grabbed a bowl of leftover rice, unable to recall any time he did not like refrigerated rice.

It was only after he had served a few customers at work that he remembered something to write in his journal.

_It was that kid, Yu. He had a friend who could have been trafficked in a while back; they said he was from Jakarta. Why did Yu get into a phase where he started saluting the other gang members and calling them 'sir'? Was it when someone put him up to acting as a scout?_

A middle aged woman came into the shop, taking him out of his memories.

"Hello, would you happen to have eggs?"

"No, madam, the chickens just come here to die," he said, recycling a joke from Honda. _Would it be any cheaper to have a pen? I mean, it has to be, then we would only have to buy seed and water, which we already buy to keep them alive. I'll start saving up for it when I'm manager full time and I'm not saving up for anything else._

"Oh, that's quite all right," she said before leaving. _This place must be closer than some place she would normally think to buy eggs._

There were no more customers until lunch, which was lucky or unlucky, depending on how he looked at it, because he got another call from Yasui. She sounded a little less desperate, but her situation was basically the same. Though she had not accomplished everything she set out to do, she told the guy from her classes to stop sending her gifts. Going into a little more detail about him, apparently he was not a marrying type, which should have been obvious, he was from a wealthier family and had spent money as though his inheritance already belonged to him. Whatever Tomoya could say about Fujibayashi, at least she and her husband had not spoiled their daughters.

After the call, he found himself wondering where the money was going to go. It seemed Kyou did not exactly need it, since she and her boyfriend probably had a stable financial situation, but there was a chance they would set Ryou up if she did not get married soon, which was entirely possible. Even if she found some guy who was willing to take all the leaps of faith himself, which was the expectation, she would still have to decide whether or not she wanted to marry him when he asked, and ideally she would make that decision without help. _I get that it's kind of cute that she's hesitant and lets others take the lead, but there's a point where it just doesn't work practically speaking. Unless she makes some simple changes in the way she goes about things, whoever ends up with her is going to be the only one thinking and making decisions, and I just don't see any scenario when one head is better than two, especially not with how academically successful Ryou is._

Eating his rice, he wanted to think there was some circumstance where she would be fine, and she probably would figure something out, whether that was immediate or in the long term. She was not her sister, but she did not seem like the kind of girl who would content herself to remain unhappy forever. For some reason it was hard to picture her having children, and it was possible she would pick someone who did not want any, for example; she would not just have them or not have them based on what someone else decided. _I'm worrying too much about a girl I haven't seen in probably weeks. If she had a problem, she knows my number._

There was a customer who looked an awful lot like a classmate from school, though he could not have said who it was, nor did the young man seem to recognize him. Tomoya knew he did not personally know most people even in his own year, and it could easily have been someone he only knew in passing, but it felt odd for some reason. It felt like he should know the young man who ordered some odd pork cuts and so he asked his name.

"I'm Shimura. Did you go to Hikarizaka Private?" he asked. "I thought I recognized you."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," he said, getting the order ready. "Sometimes it's weird thinking of all the people I saw every day even though I didn't know their names."

"I mean, I knew your name. A ton of people knew who you were. You were that delinquent who was probably failing everything. Didn't you do basketball at one point?"

"Yeah, I had to quit that because of an untreated injury. I can't raise both arms above my head, so I can't really play anymore." It was pretty obvious the customer was making fun of him, but he felt like he had to get past what he had been. "When did you graduate?"

"Two years ago now," Shimura said.

"Oh, well, that makes sense," he responded, taking the payment. "I really turned my studying habits around in my last year."

"I'm glad you were able to get somewhere with that," he said, somewhat sarcastic in his expression. As the young man left, he decided there was no avoiding the fact he really was just being mocked for his occupation. He doubted Shimura would have said the same about a butcher he did not recognize, probably thinking he had not had the same amount of opportunity. _Does it ever occur to people that I like working here? Why the hell not?_

He supposed it was a customer service job, but by his estimation most salarymen only had different people to impress. _Yeah, I guess to me that wouldn't make a difference, but I guess it has to make a difference to someone._ It was more interesting to ponder the question of whether or not he had permanently brought dishonor to the family name by being a delinquent in high school, basically squandering his chance to learn and get into the kind of job his father had. He knew that he could still be a butcher even if he had studied and worked his ass off, and it would mean nothing if other opportunities were available to him, only for him not to take them. _What would be the best thing for Nagisa, though?_

His girlfriend had no problem with his job, what had been an issue was everyone thinking he was a bum, which was something he had done to himself. She had mentioned that she told people they were dating, which probably meant she had told people that he turned his life around and had a good job, and then he ruined it by acting like he had fallen into the role. _There's no way I would have gotten it without putting effort into my last year of school. There's no way I would have passed my exams, and the unspoken condition of my employment was that I would have that._

Tomoya remembered being worried for a moment that he would not be allowed to graduate with everyone else, not because it made a difference to him whether he got his diploma handed to him or in the mail, but because it might have been a bad show for his potential employers. Whether it was particularly fair or not, there would be a difference in how people saw him based on whether or not he had the honor of receiving his diploma in person, and that was dependent on whether or not he had his scores canceled, and that was dependent on whether or not the director of the third years could convince everyone else that the rumors about him were groundless. _Did he take a hit for that? Were there people saying 'oh look at him, defending the delinquent who takes advantage of girls'?_

He felt like paying a visit to the old man, but school was not in session at that exact moment, and he had already had his heart set on going to the Furukawa bakery after work. _I can't really just go and visit people while I have work, even if Honda came back._

As if on cue, there was a call.

"I'll be back tomorrow," the butcher said without pleasantries. "I visited some family in Nagoya; it really wouldn't have taken me a day if I planned it out."

"Maybe it's not important how long it takes you," Tomoya said.

"Well, I don't know how I'm going to handle retirement if I can't handle a vacation."


	108. The Grind

The call at the end of the day had not been one Tomoya particularly wanted. He knew, of course, that his boss was going to come back at some point, and take over being manager again, but if he intended to delay his retirement because he couldn't be away from the shop, it was going to be a bit more of a problem. _I can't tell him to just get out. He practically built the place from the ground up. Of course he's married to it at this point._

In addition to the work ethic expected of him, the work ethic his boss could not seem to relinquish started to sour the deal of his employment. _Maybe I'm the one married to the job. If I want to get paid more, I have to be willing to find another._

Neither of the Furukawas greeted him when he walked into the shop, and he guessed they were both upstairs or something. When he heard the sound of children, he changed his guess to Sanae being in the other room, and the father being upstairs with his daughter. When Akio came around the corner, he almost asked if he could see Nagisa, but a different question came out.

"Wait, where were you?"

"Takin' a piss, why?"

"I don't know, I sort of thought Nagisa would be awake at this hour, so someone might be talking to her. Is it okay if I see her for a minute?"

"You can't talk to her about getting married. She's not ready for that."

"I know, I just-" _Do I really need to agree to this?_ "I just haven't seen her in a bit."

"Okay," the old man said. _I don't know why I think of him as an old man; he's not nearly as old as my father. Honda's older than both of them._

He walked up without saying anything further, going ahead and assuming the girl was feeling well enough to talk to him. Even when she was on the mend, in the past, she had bad days here and there, so they were careful with the adjustment process. As he opened the door, he found her lying in the futon.

"Hi, Nagisa," he said, sitting down next to her. "Are you sweating?"

"Yes," she answered. "I don't smell, do I?"

"Well, you don't smell bad," he said, smiling. "Is it because you're under all that?"

"It's important to keep my body temperature up," she explained. "Even when I know I'm probably fine, I still feel cold... it's getting better, though."

"I know you've tried going outside and that didn't work," he said, trying to remember which timeline that was. "When do you start physical therapy?" She smiled. "What?"

"You just made it sound like it's a really formal, official thing," she said. "I spent part of today sitting up, which felt good. How is your life?"

"I'm managing," he said. "Well, until tomorrow, then Honda's managing again, but that's fine. I'm hoping he'll retire from the position within this year, but he might not."

"It'll be okay," Nagisa said. "I know we'll manage."

"Your father said I shouldn't be discussing the future with you."

"He did not tell me anything like that." She smiled. "I've been thinking of it the whole time. It kept me going, even when it was the worst."

"Well, I don't think you can directly lie to your parents, so I don't want to get you doing something you couldn't tell them," he said. "I thought it was pretty impressive the way you kept your mother from realizing you were upset with me here and there."

"I can't stay mad at you that long," she said. "If you just time every bad thing you do for the fall, I'll forgive you for everything."

"Most of the bad things I've done haven't been intentional," he said, leaning over her and kissing her on the forehead. "You must be feeling better if you can tell jokes like that."

"I am feeling better," Nagisa agreed. "I just have a long way to go." She looked like she was thinking for a moment. "Your sense of humor might have rubbed off on me some."

"I wouldn't be too surprised by that. I think I should go. I don't want to push any boundaries when we're this close."

"I'll see you later, Tomoya."

He left her and he left the bakery. His home was not far and though his housemates had started on supper, they welcomed him anyway; it was an egg porridge that he knew he had probably eaten before, but it would have been a long time ago. It was a favorite of Mei's, and it occurred to him the girl he just left would probably eat a ton of it during the winter, considering how often it was used in healthcare facilities. _Even more obvious that Fuko would be eating it. At this point her body has probably mostly reconstituted itself with porridge._ He had heard somewhere that it took seven years for every cell in the human body to be replaced, and it could only replace itself with the atoms it took in, which was probably porridge and water, though he would have to look more closely at her IV if he wanted to see what was in it. _There's a point where if you're sick enough, they don't even feed you that; just a nutrient mixture._

He took care of his evening activities after he helped clean up, but he saw someone standing outside the house when he was done with all that and decided to go see who it was. _Let's hope it's not more gang shit again. I don't think I want to deal with that anymore._

"It's been a while, Okazaki," Sudou said. "I almost didn't recognize you."

"Well, I recognized you. You're the biggest guy I know. What brings you over here?"

"I've been doing a lot of thinking."

"Yeah?"

"The gang thing isn't working. I just need some way for the guys to get out of it."

"Haven't you all committed a ton of crimes already?"

"That's the issue. We've all got rap sheets going from here to the moon. If we just stopped committing crimes, we'd starve."

"I don't have a lot of sympathy, but I can see how this would be an issue. Don't you work out of an abandoned machine shop?"

"Yeah."

"Well, get a book from the library and learn how to fix cars. There's someone there who would be glad to help you." He thought for a moment. "I don't know how to get the building; usually someone still technically owns it, but if they're not using it, they'll probably sell it. Are you broke right now?"

"Yeah. I don't have the cash to keep most of the guys on. I'd hoped that if they went off and tried to find jobs on their own, no one would find out about the gang, but you saw how that worked with Ao."

"You've been talking to him?"

"It's been a while, but yeah. He's had a lot of problems."

"Having problems is just what happens when you don't throw them on everyone else," Tomoya said, still without that much sympathy. _Well, maybe I should have some. At least I know what it's like to have a bad reputation._ "Look, I don't have any idea what that building might cost. I don't know how any of you could get a loan to pay for it- maybe Miyazawa goes in for the loan, since no one knows she was involved- I don't know how you're going to pay it off, but that's the only thing I can think of."

"I guess it wouldn't be that bad to have a bit of debt. We've got some guys who already know how to work on cars because they've always had to do it. We're not all like Sasaki. We're not all career criminals who do this sort of thing for fun. This one guy, we call him Saru, used to be a bank security guard. Never did a damn thing wrong for twenty five years. Thing is, he's really hairy and tough-looking, so whenever someone needed someone to accuse for anything, he was always the guy. Most of the time he had an alibi."

"That kind of thing doesn't work every time, though."

"No. Basically it seems like the way people see things is that you should be punished whenever someone says you did something, because that's what always happens. If you get away from punishment and other people didn't, they don't like that. It's like a force of nature or something. Would you be happy if someone just avoided getting his house destroyed in an earthquake, when you lost yours?"

Tomoya did not like to think he was that petty, but he knew he had the capacity. _It doesn't really matter anyway. I'm not stupid enough to drop out of school or angry enough to just attack someone out of anger, but that doesn't mean I can't see why someone would do it._ If anything, most people probably saw it that way; that crimes were for others to commit, while they would be content with only wishing they could commit them every so often.

"Well, you've given me something to consider," he said. "I really hope it works out well for you when you start your own business; I really can't advise anything beyond what I've said." _He must have come here for advice or something. I can't think of any other reason he would hang around outside the house; seems unlikely he'd want to talk to Sunohara or Mitsui._

"See you," Sudou said, turning to walk off. It was late and he was done with most things, so he would be getting to bed soon, but he was already making plans for the following day. _I've got to see Ryu or at least check up on his situation. He probably doesn't want to do anything more than keep visiting Fuko, so it won't really make a difference if I give him my blessing. I mean, it won't make a difference except helping him to feel good._

When he woke up, he thought about going to Oishi's old apartment, which her son was probably still using under his own paycheck, but he had a feeling Honda would get to the shop before he did and there would be some finger-wagging like last time. He was not in the mood to explain that his comatose friend had a personal need to hear him say some guy was good enough for her, so he went ahead and got to the shop, finding his boss was not there yet. _Well, he'll be here soon and it'll be better than last time._

He could remind himself not to expect glowing praise from the old man, but he could at least hope that Honda would see that the shop was in good hands. Going through the opening procedures, he flipped the sign around a minute early as he finished cleaning up the place. Perhaps it was a routine that others would find boring, or pointless, but he liked it, in a way. He took some amount of pride in having a clean workspace and having all the tools in working order.

About when the butcher showed up, without fanfare as always, there was a young woman who looked like she had just been running. She did not order anything, though she did look at the display for a while before leaving. Tomoya could not have said whether it would have been more or less awkward to have tried to make conversation with her. _Seems like coming into the shop was just a way of taking a break in the middle of a run._

Working with the old man was familiar and not familiar at the same time. They were not bumping into each other, but he had gotten into a different routine while working alone, and it was almost strange to him that his boss would be taking care of basic tasks like cleaning tools after slaughtering a chicken. _Did he want to show me how to do it again? Was he just slaughtering it because we're out and we might need more?_

"I was thinking about something, sir. Is it unlawful to have a chicken pen in the city?"

"If we did, most of what we have been doing would be unlawful," Honda answered. "There are more regulations on chicken growing than you can imagine. Did you know that in some other countries, it's not advisable to eat raw eggs?"

"I think I've heard of that." He had never been to another country before, but it seemed like something he had heard somewhere.

"The reason you can eat raw eggs here is because of all the regulations on chicken growing. It's part of the culture."

That, if nothing else, was hard to deny. It was not like they were in France eating veal tartar on a regular basis, but raw eggs were very much part of Japanese cuisine. He guessed some people were just willing to give that up in order to get cheaper chicken products as a consequence of less strict regulation. Not for the first time, probably not even the first time in the last few days, he wondered how Kotomi was doing. She had a few years left of university level schooling before she would go into a graduate program, which was what she apparently really wanted to do. For some reason America started the school year in the middle of the fall as opposed to the spring, so when she arrived she would have been off by about a semester, but he trusted she was smart enough to catch up.

He still wanted to go see her parents with Nagisa, as soon as she was up and walking again, but perhaps that was letting it go too long without a visit. _No, my friends aren't that needy. Some of them even have an excuse, like Fuko, and she didn't bombard me with questions as to why I had not visited her in so long._ When it was time for lunch he decided to step outside into the cool air, fitting for the end of winter.

"Okazaki." He looked up from his lunch to see Ryu.

"You're going to have to work on addressing people politely."

"That's your name."

"I know that. It is customary, however, to say something like 'hi' or 'good day' when you first see someone."

"Okay. I'll do that next time. How did meeting with Fuko go?" _He probably hasn't been able to get away from work much._

"She told me a few things. I think it's sufficient for the two of you to be dating, but she'll probably want to talk to me again before you go any further."

Ryu seemed to think for a moment.

"I wanted to ask you a few things, but it's been a while, so I don't remember what it was. Do you think there's anything I should know about her?"

"Yeah. You probably have some idea of the amount of care comatose patients need. I'll keep the rest of this quick because I don't like taking a long lunch break. She can be kind of annoying sometimes, and she seems to have a way of distracting herself from whatever is currently going on, which makes her seem really oblivious, but she's a nice girl who always puts others before herself. I don't want to give away too much of how I got to know her, because that's a long story and she probably would rather tell you herself, but to give you an idea of the kind of girl she is, she tirelessly worked to make it so her sister could be happy."

The teenager seemed to be having a hard time understanding everything, but he nodded anyway.

"I think I should see her family. I've seen them once or twice just to ask normal questions about her, and I know I can't tell them I want to date her, but I think I should at least make myself known to them."

"That's what I was about to say." He gave Ryu an idea of how to find the Yoshino house. "Her sister is a former teacher, so probably address her as sensei, because everyone else does. The man of the house is an electrician who used to make music, so he's got a weird way of talking, but he's a nice guy and you'll get used to it."

"I remembered what I wanted to ask you." Tomoya waited. "You're never going to tell her about what I used to do, are you?"

He thought back to opening the restaurant one day and seeing a similar-looking teenager standing around outside. He had come on the pretext of being a friendly Miyazawa gang member who just wanted to warn him about Sasaki, prepping him for whenever the gang came to collect the toll. It was not until late into his time on the night shift that he figured out, or it was revealed to him, that he had been working for Sasaki the whole time.

"I'm not going to tell her." Ryu breathed. "You are."


	109. Rings and Rings

Tomoya supposed he was being a bit harsh with Ryu, but he had not said when he would have to tell Fuko about his past, and if he still had a problem with that, the kid could deal. _It's not as if everything he's ever done is relevant to what he's going to do, but now he knows what it's like to have something precious. Now he can start to fear losing it._

It was not that he just felt especially sadistic, he had to make sure that Ryu was actually as reformed as he claimed to be. _Fuko can't be a dream to him. She can't be something he doesn't really have, so he doesn't really have to worry about losing her._ He had not actually told the girl about the condition, primarily because he did not want to prompt her to ask about her new boyfriend's past. In an ideal scenario, he would realize that he could technically avoid it, until mean old Okazaki came around and found out that he had not done as asked, which would just totally destroy his sweet girlfriend's heart upon learning the truth. That would lead him to realize he had her, but could not keep her unless he divulged his secrets, which would probably make him think he would lose her.

He was doubtful that Fuko would just ditch him upon learning he used to be in a gang, and the sad part of the reason was because she could hardly ditch anyone; she was confined to a hospital bed and could only communicate with people who happened to be sleeping next to her, and would believe that coma ghosts actually existed. There was literally no idea to be had about how she felt about guys who used to be in gangs; perhaps she had not even thought about it herself, but it hardly seemed like a non-negotiable for anyone other than a perfect little angel. _Maybe I'm biased because a nice girl like Yasui ended up with Ao, and I'm pretty sure they were in a relationship even while he was a gang member._

There was a delivery to carry out, and he was glad his boss was there to hold down the fort while he was out with it, since it was a ways off. Fortunately it was a personal order as opposed to a business, making it less cumbersome, unfortunately that meant the final value of the tip would be less cumbersome. _Isn't it great to be back to surviving off tips?_

Whenever he got back to the house, he would have to go over his finances. It was not a lot of money all things considered, that he had put into the apple stock, but the hypothetical of having put it into the mortgage instead would not leave him alone. _It's even less money now, since the value of the stock went down. Taking it out now would just be stupid._

He reached the customer's house, which was guarded by a large gate. _Must be pretty rich._ Ringing the buzzer, he half expected some kind of old fashioned butler to come out, but that was the kind of thing that only happened in movies. Instead he heard a mostly indistinguishable voice tell him to just leave the package there. Shrugging, since he was pretty sure the product would either spoil or get picked up by someone else, he pressed the button and said the product was on the tab of the house.

When he walked back, his mind turned to Nagisa. Her physical therapy was sort of already starting in the sense that she was sitting up and talking, but that had not required any additional effort from her caretakers. _I mean, I guess there's a way they could avoid taking any pains about that; they could just keep doing everything for her until she starts doing things herself._ He knew that the condition was still in her body and basically only she would know when it was really okay to be up and walking around, because the more she exercised before that, the longer it would go on. Breaking up with Kyou had been best for all parties involved, but he did not particularly enjoy the fact that it was because Nagisa pushed herself a little too hard while she was recovering and started to feel faint.

He wanted to go to see her again, but when they wrapped up for the day, he knew that there were more urgent things. Saying goodbye to Honda as they cleaned up and locked up after serving their last customer, he walked over to the jewelry store, wanting to see if Mitsui's supervisor was guilting her about missing a day. When he arrived and started to look over the merchandise, the assistant came over as always.

"Okazaki?"

"Yeah?"

"You can afford jewelry?" He smiled.

"It's the same girl. Soon enough, our accounts are going to be the same." There was some amount of difficulty in saying what he actually wanted to say. "I would like to buy her a ring."

Mitsui looked- not surprised, not absolutely astonished, but quite like it was taking her a minute to figure out that he really meant it.

"Oh, I'm... happy for you."

"Well, congratulate me when we're married," he said, looking over at the supervisor, who was smiling. Something told him she particularly liked seeing young men look around for engagement rings, and not just because of the commission her assistant received. After all, she was salaried.

They looked through a few different settings; somehow it seemed easier to talk about the settings, which were out on display so girls could fit them on their fingers, but he guessed it was just the cheapest settings that were available for that. Some of them he had guessed were silver, but it turned out there was such a thing as white gold. Not wanting to get the size wrong, he thought back to holding her hand only the previous day, which put him at a mercifully small ring size. Unfortunately for him, though that knocked the price down some, he did not like the look of his estimation for the final figure.

"Before, you had a stone to match her eyes," Mitsui reminded. "I'm not sure about doing the same thing with the engagement ring. It's not a normal gift."

Tomoya nodded. He had some idea that there was a lot more that went on in a girl's head regarding the ring, and it was not a simple matter of making it more expensive. Though he knew virtually nothing about the symbolism of stones and metals and designs, he wanted it to mean something, but it was kind of like the blind leading the blind anyway- he was pretty sure Nagisa was not aware of the meanings, so she would be getting it from the jewelry store as well.

"Okay," he said. "What color stone do you recommend, if not to match her eyes?"

"Light blue might work-"

"Sorry, I've got another friend with light blue eyes, don't ask me how, but it could send the wrong message."

"Oh, I see. I think you should go with a diamond. A solitaire on a simple band would be economical." _She's recommending the financial wisdom of a ring when she gets a commission. Can't even be cynical about that._

"Okay, what kind of metal?"

"Yellow gold is somewhat old fashioned at this point. Some customers ask for it, but most of them are more interested in the white gold or platinum." Tomoya nodded. He had no idea what metals were in fashion, but he guessed he could see how a more neutral color would pair well with other things. _White gold just looks like silver, though. No one would be able to tell the difference._

"I think I'll go with platinum," he said, looking over the darker rings.

"Excellent; all that's left is the cut." She showed him over to a counter display where there were rings with a ton of different cuts. Oddly, he thought of the dango pillow thing as he selected a variation on the round cut without looking at what it was actually called. "We have a satisfaction guarantee to the effect that if the recipient is unsatisfied with the gift, it can be refunded and replaced with one of equal value."

"Oh, well, that's a relief."

The price came out to a figure he knew was modest as far as engagement rings went, but for a tight budget such as his, it was still a hit. _Ah, well, at least Mitsui might feel motivated to go shopping for us once._

"Thank you," the supervisor said. "Thank you, and best of luck."

He left after thanking them, figuring it was probably about closing time for them as well. Mitsui caught up to him in a few minutes, enough time for him to think that on a commission-heavy business, the store would probably take its time with a customer, even if he showed up right at the end. _With enough of the young men having jobs themselves, I don't know how else they would do it._

With the hope that Nagisa would like the ring whenever he had a good chance to offer it to her, he remembered her father would probably get onto him if he asked her to marry him before she was better and graduated, even if she were not technically married until the wedding. _It's probably better not to toe the line. I don't want to piss either of her parents off, especially if they still want to take care of her while I'm at work._ The more he spent entire days at work, the harder it seemed like it would be to care for her. If she did not have her parents, how would she have a supply of water? If he understood it correctly, there were days she spent entirely motionless.

Arriving back at the house as supper was starting, he looked like he was annoying Mei, since he had not said anything about whether or not he would be home. _Maybe she'll just respond to that by making more. I probably should at least give her an idea of whether or not I'll be home for supper, assuming I have one myself. That might help her out a little._

They were having pot stickers and rice; the latter just being a constant, basically. Sunohara was not terribly excited about that, but that was just how he was, as far as Tomoya remembered. _If he ever had to make food for himself, I would think he got used to it at some point. He was living in a studio apartment for a while; did he have a deal going with someone else? What the hell did he do in exchange?_

As he ate and listened to the conversation, he thought the most likely thing to have happened was that his friend ate at popup ramen places every so often, and every other day he was just hungry. It was a little hard to believe sometimes, but hundreds of years ago there were people who spent entire days without eating, and to some extent that was considered healthy. _Well, if I know one thing for certain, he didn't clean up as his part of the bargain._ He thought back to the time Sunohara was pretending to be his own sister and cleaned his dormroom spotless. _Well, I guess I don't know it for certain._

He thanked Mei for making supper and helped her clean up like always. Her brother at least had a date for when he would get paid, so that was something. Tomoya wanted to tell him again that he did have acting experience and it would count in some small way; he was better off now than he was before taking the bit part role, even if it would still take work to get another role. He did not envy his friend's choice of career, because it was more stress than the glory merited in his accounting, but that was only what he thought.

"Hey, Sunohara," he said. "Have you ever thought about getting married?" he asked.

"I can't really afford that," he said. "That didn't stop me in the past, I guess, but now I think that as long as I don't want a girlfriend, I won't be disappointed."

"I mean, can you really control what you want, or are you just acting like you can?"

Silence followed.

"I think it's kind of like this. I know what I can expect. If I just keep it within that, then I'll get it."

"You can try. Don't you just always expect things to be better, though?"

"Slightly," Sunohara said. "If I didn't expect things to be better than today in a few months from now, wouldn't I be doing something different?"

"I don't know, you might be. You didn't seem that motivated to better your future back when we were in school. Anyway, I think what you want is just the best ouf of what you can reasonably expect to get. Sure, you can have a dream of living on an airship with robots or something, but I think what you want, for practical purposes, is what you're working to get."

"So what I want is another acting job," his friend said.

"Yeah, that's how I see it. I thought I'd ask if you had any thought of having a wife or girlfriend because you might be working in that direction, so to speak." As he was talking, Mitsui came downstairs for something.

"Well, I don't know. I think I do want one, I just don't know if I could get one. Wouldn't that mean I'm automatically not working toward one?"

"I mean, yeah, in more ways than one. If you don't think you can get one, you're not really expending effort, because why would you? It's also the fact that you have to think you can get one in order to have any kind of chance. They're not going to be that interested if you think you're a failure who's never going to make it. They're not going to be that interested if you think you have to be some kind of superhuman with vast amounts of money and whatever else. That kind of thing is a crutch, and I think I spent a long time wishing for it when I was a young teenager, because I knew I wasn't enough of a man to get a girl interested in me. I was the star shooter on my basketball team, but I don't think I talked to a girl until high school, and it wasn't until senior year that I met one who was interested in me."

Tomoya had met more than one girl who had been interested in him, but that turned out to be more trouble than it was worth.

Sunohara thanked him for the advice and for caring with a simple nod before going to find his bedroll. _Maybe I should tell him that he should exercise and really get in shape if he wants girls to like him. He probably doesn't have to worry about getting overweight with how long he can go without eating if he feels like it._

He took care of his own exercises, paid some utility bills, and took to writing in his journal after that. The bills were at least no more difficult than the ones he had paid for the shop on behalf of the business, but he was surprised he lived in a house with two girls and there was no phone bill. _I mean, I know there isn't one connected, but Mitsui and Mei don't have cell phones? It might be showing up at the parents' house for Mei, but I was under the impression Mitsui was on her own at this point._

It was hard to know what to expect with girls as far as living alone meant. He knew a couple in high school who lived at home until they basically had an arranged marriage, there were a lot who wanted to have careers, whether or not they expected to give them up at some point, and then there were the romantic types who had a husband picked out already. Mitsui seemed like the type where her parents expected her to get a job, and she could get married if she felt like it, but they weren't going to have much of a hand in that. He knew it was only because she was a girl that he wondered why they would not just pick a husband for her if they wanted her out of the house so badly, but he guessed some people were more fair than he was and would expect the same of a young woman as they would a young man.

Writing an old entry in his journal, he was at the point where he was turning down Sakagami, which was fortunate, as he could not stop thinking about it anyway. He remembered some of the reasons he cited at the time; mostly it was the practical side of things. There was no way to look at it where he was not dragging her down, and he knew that even if she thought that was unimportant, he technically had a broader perspective, since he had been some kind of young adult in the other timeline. _Wait, what if that was why I turned her down? What if I had some notion- without even realizing it, that it would be bad if I went out with her, because I knew what was in store for her future?_

The panicked feelings passed when he thought of Nagisa. _She's got a way of reassuring me in my choices, doesn't she?_


	110. Prime Customer Service

On his way to work, Tomoya figured he was probably worrying too much about the other timeline again. It had been an age since he had a vision last, though he could not say how much time exactly, what with all the time skips. _Maybe that's why I keep skipping through time; because I haven't had a vision. Is my whole life some kind of vision?_

It would explain, he supposed, the fact that nothing vitally important happened during the skips, though he would have liked to live through them all the same. Everything seemed more real than a vision, though, and he knew because he had been through those before. _Why did it feel like I was onto something there?_

He arrived at the shop and left his weird thoughts at the door, thankful to absorb himself in the work of setting up the place, noting that Honda had just arrived. The whole idea of it reminded him of when he was able to focus in class when his real life problems were getting to be more stressful than school work. _That didn't last forever. At some point my problems got so bad it went back around to where I couldn't focus in class because I had to think about them._

There were times when it felt like most interesting things in his life had already happened, but he literally had an engagement ring in a box in his pocket, so he did not feel too much like had peaked in high school whenever he thought back to those days. _Really, if my troubles were over already, Nagisa would be wrong about a lot, and she hasn't been wrong about very much so far._

As he took care of preparing a business order, he wondered if he had already had some tenuous notion of his feelings for her. _It could have easily been a normal thing and I just wasn't thinking about it. I'm pretty sure I've heard of it happening where some guy doesn't realize he likes a girl until later._

Most business orders they did in the morning, because the restaurants liked to run themselves out the previous night and then start fresh at opening time, but even as early as the butcher shop opened, there were some that really wanted to stock even earlier, probably because of whatever preparation they had to do to the meat after receiving it. _At least it's pretty rare we get those. We'd have to know about it in advance so we could get in that early and make the delivery._ The challenge, unsurprisingly, was made worse by the fact that he had to walk it there.

Tomoya shook his head. There was no sense in being bitter toward Honda about the car going to Mitsurugi, who probably needed it more than the shop did, and would probably use it to greater effect. _Whatever he's doing, he's probably getting paid more than I am._

The business delivery went well, though there was some confusion, since the person who made the order, the manager, was not in the restaurant when he arrived, so he was talking with someone who had no idea the order had ever been placed. Keeping a professional attitude about him, he asked where records of the orders were usually kept, and the employee on hand was happy to arrange for the payment after it was established that it was the correct amount for the correct business. _It's pretty annoying; I must have taken it for granted when some of the employees knew what I looked like and that I'm Honda's employee. That number should go up, even as more new people enter our clientele._

When he got back to the store, he realized there was a customer, and if he intended to keep having a manager, he was going to keep having a problem with what he did whenever he had a moment to spare. _I can't just write in my journal at any point that there's no customer; I have to be doing something productive._

He took to sharpening some tools the moment the customer left; whatever reason there had been for coming in, since nothing had been bought. There was a new knife, and he almost thanked Honda for buying it before remembering the old man did not really care for plaudit and gratitude. _Wait a minute-_

"Oh, sir, one of your old friends called a few days ago. I have his number in the order book, so if you want, you can call him."

"I think I'll call him after work."

If it was some sneaky way of getting him to only handle his phone calls after work was over, he knew it was deserved, since he definitely had been taking advantage of the phone, but he was hardly running up the bill. _Lucky I went ahead and paid the shop bill with shop money, though. I'll have to let my friends know I'm trying to use the phone less._

He almost wanted another delivery to come in, since he felt like it was good for him to get outside and walk; it was turning from winter to spring, and the last place he wanted to spend time was inside. _Temperatures aren't consistently going up; there's some amount of randomness to it, but over time we should be getting more and more sun and by about March it shouldn't go back down to the coldest we had this year, even if there's a cool day here and there._ If he wanted to be truly optimistic, however, he could factor the idea he and the Furukawas had about Nagisa's condition growing milder over time.

It was another day where he knew he wanted to visit her, especially with the ring feeling like it was burning a hole in his pocket, but he had promised not to bother her too much while she was recovering, so he decided he would go somewhere else after work. _With the way the budget is right now, I really can't afford to spend an extra yen on anything. It's like the opposite of when I was in high school, when it felt like there was always money._

The butchery received a call about a small business delivery to the bar. Though it was on relatively short notice, he went ahead and took the order anyway, since all they wanted was some pork for meatballs or some other bar food. _Probably don't get the majority of their revenue from selling food, but if they have it on the menu, it has to be in stock._ It was almost at the end of the day when the order was scheduled, so he guessed that their day would start as soon as his day stopped.

When he arrived, he realized it was the same place he had visited once on the night shift, in an effort to get the businesses of the surrounding area to stand up to the Sasaki gang. _I'd almost forgotten about this place. There was a girl here last time._

"I have your order, I believe," he said.

"Oh, thank you. I did not see you there," the young man behind the counter said. "Just give it to me; we can put the cost on the business tab."

"No problem. Wasn't there a girl working here a few months ago maybe? I didn't get her name."

"Oh, yes, she picked up and moved. I don't know where she went, but apparently she departed so suddenly the owner of this place was actually quite happy to find I had already applied for the job."

"Yeah, that must've been a windfall," he said, turning to go. _Pretty sure he's ex-Miyazawa. It's none of my business, though._

When he went back to the shop, the day was over; all there was left to do was clean up, lock up, and leave. _Maybe I should go talk to that guy, though. If I knew for a fact he used to work for one of the gangs, that might be useful down the road._ He walked back after leaving his apron in its usual place and locking the door. It was starting to get dark, but he could be reasonably certain there would be no customers in the store. _It would probably be better if there aren't any witnesses around. I don't think he'd start yelling at me or anything crazy like that, especially since I helped his gang once._

Arriving, however, there was a customer already there. _Do I know this man?_ Trying to casually sit next to him, he saw there was no one else in the bar, at least at the moment.

"Okazaki? It's been a long time since I've seen you," the director of the third years said.

"Something going on, sir?" he asked.

"Oh, I like going to this place about once a month. It's a nice ritual that doesn't cost me too much." He looked over to the bartender. "Get us some beers, thank you."

"Wow, thanks, sir, you've got me at quite the disadvantage. The only thing I ever did for you was tell Sakagami her future was too good for me to ruin."

The older man laughed for a moment, though his smile faded soon enough. He looked forlorn, like he had something else on his mind.

"Thank you. I heard you came back and gave a speech on career day."

"Yeah. I really could have phrased some things a little better. I'm actually pretty happy with and proud of my job."

"Oh, well, I thought it was funny. It was a nice break from some of the other presentations former students were doing."

The beers came out. Tomoya thought it tasted okay, but he did not quite see the appeal. _Well, maybe on my third or fourth I would._

"I know you're here for old times' sake, sir, but it looks like you've got something on your mind."

"Well, I do. Some of the teachers don't really like me. I've been too lenient with a few students."

"Was there something specific that set them off?"

"It was a few weeks ago. I thought they'd have cooled off about it by now, but apparently not. We found a boy and a girl locked in the outdoor shed together."

"No one I know, I hope." A wave of the hand was all he received as far as that went.

"They didn't look like- they looked relieved when someone came by and unlocked it. I thought it was pretty obvious that it was just an honest mistake, and there are plenty of good reasons for them to have been in there."

_Actually, sir, you'll never believe it so it's pointless to bring up, but the same thing happened to me once upon a time._

"I mean, that's what it sounds like to me, but I can see why some people wouldn't see it that way."

"The teachers are saying we have to take care that our students don't get too distracted. Obviously, that's not the worst thing that could happen." He sighed. "I know they're not ranked as high as I am, but I need their support."

"I see. Do they think the two of them did it intentionally?"

"They think the guy did, at least. They're not that worried about the girl; she's really embarrassed now that they've made it public information."

"Why would they do that? Do they really just want to humiliate the students?"

"No, they tied it in with some announcement about how they're not going to tolerate finding two students 'in a compromising position'. It makes sense to give out that kind of warning, because now we'll know everyone doing it from now on would at least have heard that they're not supposed to be sneaking off together."

"What about the guy? Is he going around to his friends and bragging about it?"

"No, it's the opposite. He's telling anyone who'll listen that it was an accident and nothing happened in there. Some of the teachers think it's an act."

"Oh, so if he'd been bragging about it, that would have been real, but this is an act?" He ran out of things to say, so he just responded with an annoyed sigh. The whole idea of it reminded him of something he went through a long time ago, or at least it seemed like a long time ago.

"Well, you've been a good listening ear, Okazaki. Best of luck," he said. _He must realize I'm expected back. It's probably the way I've been sitting._

"Best of luck to you too, sir." He thought about apologizing for not being able to help at all, but he felt like that would make it even more sad than it already was. _Maybe I've given him some ideas; I don't know. I could go visit the school at some point._

When he arrived at the house, Sunohara commented that he was late, but that was only because he had told Mei he was going to be there, so at least they were expecting him. He apologized for being late and explained his absence.

"Well, what is he going to do?" Mitsui asked. _She'd have some amount of sympathy for people with bad reputations._

"I really don't know. If I could think of anything, I would, but if he got someone else to speak on his behalf, or for the students, that person's reputation would suffer."

"It sounds like everyone's reputation is always bad, all the time," Sunohara observed.

"Not really," Mitsui said. "I had a good reputation all through high school."

"Yeah, because you weren't born with a bad one," Tomoya explained. "If I take out a loan again, it'll be with a foreign bank. Apparently, if anyone has any idea who my father is, it's not going to work out well for me." He sighed a bit. "It's kind of like when the shoguns had honor. Honor is just something that's always in short supply, and only the best of the best have it. If everyone's grades went above what's average right now, then the average would just go up. If everyone owned a house, or had some kind of place to live, that wouldn't be seen as a sign of a good worker. I'm not saying everyone should live like Sunohara and I did a few years ago, just keep it in mind that no one actually has society's approval."

He took a few more bites of rice and vegetables and allowed it to sink in. Mei had not said anything so far, so he thanked her for preparing food shortly before getting up and getting ready for bed.

Tomoya made sure to find her again the following morning, but oddly enough she was nowhere to be found. _I'm not late, am I? No, maybe she's just going to school early for some reason. I really hope it doesn't have anything to do with what I told everyone last night._

As he was on his way out the door, he found a note from her saying that she may be delayed and not able to make dinner for everyone, which he thought was nice of her, but concerned him a little more. He could waste time wondering why the girl was going to be out late, but he guessed that at least it was not an issue that could be blamed on him. At work he helped the meat packers unload the product from their truck and move it into the locker; he was not technically supposed to touch the product before it reached the locker, but the employees seemed to appreciate the work and it was doubtful anyone would report it.

When he did not see Honda anywhere, he got a bit worried, thinking the old man might just be hurt again, though he was pretty sure he had been instructed not to waste the shop's time looking for its butcher. _If he doesn't show up, I'll just be acting manager for the day. To think that's the kind of thing that makes a difference to my bottom line at this point._

He was so close to paying off the house he could taste it; if he had another week as acting manager it would be his and then he would not ask Mitsui to pay another cent for living with him. _Now she'll see the difference between paying rent every month and paying a certain part of the mortgage; at some point you stop paying for the second one._

There was an order, so he took it, thinking Honda would probably be there when he returned, but not terribly worried if the shop turned out to be empty. He was only going down the street anyway, so it was not as if he would be leaving it that way for long. The customer taking the delivery was testing his patience by not coming to the door the second he arrived, but he supposed he had arrived a few minutes early.

"Oh, hello," a voice said from behind him. This middle aged woman had just returned home. "I did not think you would be here on time."

"It's quite all right."

They arranged the handoff and the payment and Tomoya was on his way back, not letting the annoyance reach his expression. When he arrived, however, there was a customer who had been waiting, and he recognized her immediately. _Fujibayashi. Damn._


	111. Dealings of the Shade

Tomoya kept a professional expression as he went around the display. The overwhelmingly likely thing was that Fujibayashi was there to buy something, and in that case he would be all too happy to sell her whatever she wanted. There was no need to panic, or resort to violence.

"I am under the impression you dated my daughter once."

"She didn't tell you about that before now?" he asked. "This is Kyou, right?"

"She might have mentioned it, but I did not know who you were at the time. At any rate, she may soon be engaged with a young man from the school. I can reward you quite handsomely if you investigate him."

He thought about refusing it out of hand, but he was more confused than anything else.

"Why come to me about this?"

"I needed it to be one of my daughter's friends, someone she would not suspect." _Well, there's good reason she wouldn't expect that you would put me up to something like this._

"I mean, I guess that's a reason." He thought for a moment. It did not seem likely that he would find anything, and he could easily just claim to have investigated the young man without actually doing much. Additionally, he was actually a little concerned itself. If they were talking about marriage, and they had not been dating as long as he and Nagisa, and they had not even known each other as long, perhaps a few questions here and there were warranted.

"Twenty thousand yen," she said.

"I'll take it. I don't have a problem poking around a bit." _If she doesn't think I investigated properly, I'm not going to get paid._ "I'll start by talking to a friend of mine who heard something about him- it might be nothing, but it can't hurt.

Fujibayashi only nodded before making some excuse and leaving. _I guess it was too much to hope she'd buy something while she was here. Maybe I should have gone into the private eye business._

Honda showed up shortly after a customer did, and it seemed like they knew each other, so they talked basically the whole time he was processing the order. When the customer finally left, he asked what had kept him.

"There was an overdue bill."

"I hope that wasn't my fault, sir," Tomoya said. He had mostly forgotten to go check in front of the apartment for bills after the skip. _It's the damn skip that made me forget in the first place._ "When was it dated?"

"A few days before I got back. It's not really the overdue fee that worries me, it's the fact that it slipped your mind."

"I think I thought that all the bills were coming here. I did call and ask the service providers to change the billing address to the service address."

"Yes, then we changed it back after the boy who delivers the mail thought it would be cute to just leave the bills in front of the shop door. I'm surprised you don't remember this."

"Yeah, I am too, sir. I really have no idea why I didn't remember when there were no bills showing up here." He thought about what else he could possibly say, but words failed him.

Honda sighed.

"Maybe we just need a mail slot or something; then we can get it delivered here," he suggested. "It'll be what we have to do either way, sir. I'd have no objection at all to paying to install a mail slot."

Nothing was said for a moment. _This is the kind of thing that worries him whenever he takes a vacation; it's whether or not he's left the shop in capable hands._

"You're a good guy, Okazaki; you're probably better than ninety percent of the people I could've gotten to take the job. The fact that you slip up here and there doesn't change that; it's just disappointing."

He wanted to explain, of course, but it did not really enter his mind because of how stupid an idea it was, at least until he got lectured on forgetting to pay the bills. _No wonder the old man can't take a vacation without worrying about me._ By the time an order came in, he was pretty desperate to get out of the place, so he hardly needed any persuading from what sounded like a kindly old lady apologizing for calling on short notice.

When he arrived at her place, he remembered her; it was the disabled woman who lived in a walkup. _I wonder if she has any family. I would guess she doesn't want to be a burden to them._ He took care of the order mostly without saying anything. It seemed like she had the money for the occasional treat, as long as moving out of the apartment was not part of the plan for the rest of her life.

Tomoya had gone from feeling upset, mostly at himself, partially at whatever occult phenomenon was propelling him through time, to feeling just kind of down. It was not a usual thing for customers to ask for advice on their problems and it was easy to see why. _Most people don't want to get help from a young man who wears an apron for work. They probably want advice even less than that._

When work eventually let out, he wanted to see if there was any way to contact Ao and Yasui, having not heard from either of them in a few days, but he had a job to do anyway. He went out to the school, because he had passed by Kyou's apartment once and he was pretty sure the guy lived somewhere around there. It was pretty obvious why; having an apartment right next to where he worked let him walk to and from there. _If she got an apartment near his, they probably started walking to and from school together._

Thinking about how the girl he used to date fell in love with someone was weird, but he felt more detached from her than ever, with how focused he was on Nagisa. He knew she was probably feeling a little better and wanted to visit her, if only for a bit, but that would have to be after supper if he did it at all; he was going to be making some cursory investigation for at least thirty minutes or so.

"Are you Okazaki?" someone called out as he walked through the apartment building.

"Yeah," he said, recognizing the voice. _What a coincidence._ "I don't think I got your name."

"I'm Naoshi. What brings you out here? Kyou's still at the school."

"Oh, what's she doing?"

"She's basically shadowing one of the other teachers. We need her to have a good amount of experience before we tie the old knot. Did she tell you about that?"

"Not really. I'm not surprised, though. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl who would want it to be sprung on her."

"She'd probably throw a book at me if I got on one knee in public out of nowhere."

"I'd been under the impression she'd matured some," Tomoya said. "Well, I guess that wouldn't be a stretch for her, even now."

"How did you hear about the two of us getting married? It seems like you knew."

"Her mother told me," he revealed, deciding to be honest. "She asked me to check out whether you have anything negative in your history, and I figured I might as well. If you said something small like you cheated on a math test when you were ten, we'd be able to get past this."

"Oh, so you trust me already?"

"Well, it's not really my decision," he said. "I don't think you could really get anything that sneaky past Kyou, at least nothing I could find out between now and whenever her mother comes back around. You've met her?"

"Yeah, she seemed pretty suspicious of me, but I didn't think she'd have me investigated."

"Probably because that would ruin it." Tomoya thought a moment. "How about this, just tell me why the two of you are getting married so quickly."

"I didn't think it was that quick. We've been dating a few weeks." It was Naoshi's turn to think about it. "I guess I'm one of those people who's pretty sure about most things."

"Yeah, Kyou doesn't seem like the type of girl to take a long time deciding either. It's pretty telling that her mother thought you would be the deciding factor."

"Damn, that means we have to make something up, doesn't it? She's not going to be happy to hear that."

"Yeah. Making something up is probably the best way of going about it."

As they were talking, the girl of the hour appeared.

"Oh, hi, Kyou," he said. "I was just getting to know Naoshi here."

"Did my mother do something?"

"Yeah. She decided she'd get me to investigate your boyfriend, so we were brainstorming about what dark secret I could tell her."

"That's probably a good idea," she said, sighing a little. "If you didn't investigate and give her something, she would think there was something else."

Tomoya thought better of saying that such had not been his reasoning. The money was not insignificant to him, especially when he was going to have to install a mail slot in the shop, which could cost more than he was promised for the job anyway. _I'll have to ask around to see what's affordable. The shop needs it anyway, so I might be able to put it on the shop's expenses, but that's a big 'if' since I said I would do it myself._

"I mean, we could say I used to do something shady. I don't want to give her anything she could take to the police, or anything that would make Kyou look bad," Naoshi said. "I don't know what exactly it could be, though."

"I guess I could say you worked for a call center or something. I know it's not illegal or anything, but it's really annoying."

"That might work, but you'll have to be careful," Kyou said. "We get around three of those calls a day."

He thanked her and said his goodbyes. _Naoshi seems like a decent guy. I'm not worried about him._ As he walked back to the house, it occurred to him that harassment could actually be unlawful, so he would have to avoid saying the guy was involved with anything like that. It was not as if Fujibayashi would find anything, since they were making it up, but being investigated was enough to potentially lose his teaching job. _Damn. I was going to look into investing, but now I have to look into what constitutes harassment._

When he got back to the house, he asked if anyone had seen his investing books and Mei immediately said they were in her room. Apparently she found them interesting and had been reading them. The other two stopped eating to ask her if she was getting it and she said she was; everything made sense.

"Really? I never got how any of that works," Sunohara said. From time to time Tomoya was reminded that they were both Sunohara, but he was just not going to call his friend Youhei.

"That's not too surprising," he said. "All jokes aside, you don't really have to know everything there is to know in order to get started; you'll pick some stuff up as you go." Mitsui looked a little annoyed on his behalf.

"Not everyone is good at everything," she said. "I don't know the first thing about acting." _Well, I wouldn't go that far._

"We're just joking around," he responded. "Actually, Sunohara, do you have to be on set tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Would there be any time for a call at some random point in the day? It might not be tomorrow, it might be the day after."

"Yeah, probably. All I'm doing now is favors for the producer and the senior staff." He dug a cheap cell phone out of a gym bag. "I still have about thirteen service days and two hundred minutes." _The service days and the minutes extend every time you buy a new phone card. He's been buying new every time the service days have expired._

"I don't think it'll take that long. Anyway, thanks, I'll tell you more about it tomorrow morning."

There was time left to talk about things over supper, but he did not want to use all of it, nor did he want to discuss it in front of Mei without any context.

"Oh, how much are you getting paid, Youhei?" Mitsui asked. _That's a little personal. I suppose she didn't really get to know him as Sunohara, and his sister is right there._

"Enough to pay the backlog of his share of the mortgage, I would hope," Tomoya ventured. It was not as if he minded having his old friend in the house, but he was not running a free homeless shelter.

"Yeah, yeah, you'll get your money, you old miser. Just so you know, I'll most likely get a job in Tokyo after this film is done, so I'm not going to be paying you anymore-"

"Tokyo sounds like a nice place to be," Mitsui commented.

"I'm not worried, I'll have someone else come in about then." Sunohara looked betrayed, but seemed to recognize that he would be walking into a trap before he said anything. _Wow, he's really wizened up._ Mei was looking back and forth between them.

"Are you two joking again?" she asked. "I can't really tell; it looks like you don't like each other."

"Yeah, we've been doing this for years."

When they were through cleaning up supper and doing other household tasks, he wrote in his journal and did exercises before bed. He had seen more positive results with journal writing, but he knew he needed to be doing some amount of exercise every day, and it was a good habit to have. His sleep, however, was fitful and he found himself waking up at add hours. _Is this normal? Do I need to do something about this?_ The questions ran through his mind the rest of the night before he woke up, looking at the clock and its glowing hands to determine it was fine to get up.

By the time he was on his way to work, he was still rubbing a hand over his face as if he could get the mental haze to clear up. It reminded him of high school, in a way, of helping Fuko, but also before that. _I'm not quite sure when it started. Was it when I met Nagisa?_

At the shop, Honda had already arrived, thought it was only a minute or so before opening time, so he was fine as far as that went. _How am I going to explain it to him if Fujibayashi comes in the store while he's here?_ He knew that he was free to talk to anyone who walked in and it would not look like he was using the business as a meeting place for personal matters, but the phone line was a different story. _I can't just call Sunohara in the middle of the day._

"Sir, do you know anything about the legality of people calling you all the time?" he asked. "We got quite a few sales calls from random numbers while I was running the shop."

"That would explain the phone bill. Well, it depends who's actually doing the calling. I believe it doesn't count as harassment if they only call you once. Most people don't really bother to check if it's the same number calling every time. If they don't have the thing where it shows the number, it's probably even harder to tell. I've never been able to tell the voices apart."

Most Japanese scam calls came from Thailand, though the callers themselves were generally Japanese. _Virtually no one who doesn't live here speaks the language. People who sneak in illegally don't have any prior exposure, and it's not easy for them to learn._ Apparently it was more of a problem for people who spoke more common languages, especially English.

"So if you learned that someone'd been involved with that sort of thing, and you went to the police, they wouldn't do anything, would they?"

"I don't think so. You'd have to have really good evidence that this person actually committed the crime, and then it would have to be determined to be unlawful. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, Naoshi- just some guy I know was mixed up in it a while back. I don't think anyone else knows about it, but I'd rather avoid having him investigated."

"I see. Well, you're going to a barbecue place today."

"What?"

"It's a business order."

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't see it written down anywhere."

"I didn't write it down. We get it every year, so I just remember it at this point. This barbecue place basically clears out our whole stock, and they've never once said why. I like to think they're stocking up ahead of the demand."

"Well, I'd be happy to take an order like that. Do you know when it will be?"

"As a matter of fact, I do, it's in thirty minutes from now."


End file.
